POST 60

A first class book by a first class writer. The prologue, written in clear, easy to read sentences, is attention catching and takes us right into the plot. But at the same time it is written in a style which is so much more than just clear. The last line, in particular. as well as being a real hook, demonstrates the writer's creative ability as well as any. 'One irradiated alligator was never found.' Simple, but so chilling, even eerie. All through the book, this same writing skill is evident. '...the master of space and colouring...' 'Clay's green door seemed a hazy darkness of disease and Death.' I could quote so many more examples of this man's brilliance. On top of that, there is his realistic character drawing and dialogue. Freddie, Jay, Clay, Ellie - at different points in the book, we are taken inside each of their heads, and understand them, even to some extent empathise with them. We hear each character's distinctive voice, revealing the writer's excellent ear, and we understand their motivation. Probably the most thrilling action scene in the book is the monster's destruction of Whit, and Jay's explanation of what Whit and Freddie will have to do, so that they 'might get to see God, yet...' leaves us stunned. For a great scene less dependent on action, Ellie's flight, her meeting with Whit's mother - 'The Hag-Nurse-Neck' of Jay's nightmares - and her golden flecked eyes shining at John at the end of the book, would be hard to beat for sheer effect. Backed.
Gerry McCullough,
Belfast Girls.

Post 60-

Now this is a RIDE! Talk about good pacing--this one has it--moving along at breakneck speed, never missing a beat while it covers all the terrors of adolescence with way more realism that we'd ever want in real life--it's terrifying REAL! Okay, radioactive alligators aside anyway. But let's face it, kids will do just about anything for fun and this author pulls no punches.

But it doesn't stop there. Jay suffers through his adolescence only to lose his brother and almost his mind until he meets Ellie who could be the answer to all his problems. The tale is told with snippets of our history in songs and TVLand excerpts that bring it all to life for the reader as well. This author is a master at writing down the thoughts that ping pong through our minds in a way that's frighteningly familiar. This is a hellova good read. Well done, man., -Brad (Larcenous Tendencies)

I loved the pitch. It's intriguing.

I read to the end of chapter three, and I've decided I like this very much.

The whole thing is just really bold, like you're walking a high wire, it's inventive and grabs me.

No crit, as to typos etc, thought it was really polished. The only thing I don't understand is why this isn't higher.

Thumbs up,

Craig
The Estate.

Hi John

Wow - first 6 chapters so far and it's excellent. This is so professional - a work of real quality. Chapter 3 was just incredibly well written and then chapter 5 - it was SO well done - could just SEE Jay on that drive and your descriptions are brilliant. Sorry that this isn't the most quality of crits - as in, I can't make any suggestions for improvement......
Will also make a great film.
And I love the word lollygagging!
And you like your farts no?!?!?
I wish you every success and of course shelved.
Bananashoney

Nicely done - this reminds me of Stephen King

Glad to see this author is active on the site again. This book is good reading, some parts read like a modern day Huck Finn story. May I suggest that the author consider adding some more categories/fenres to his book. Doesn't it help to be listed in more than one category? For example, young adult maybe?

John, under the new system so I better put this on my shelf ASAP. I will plan to do that this evening.

FEL

Well, thanks to Pam, I have discovered your book. It looks fascinating. Loved the pitch. Read the opening. It works for me. I have to come back to this due to time constraints. I have you on my WL and shall return.
Thank you,
John B Campbell
Walk to Paradise Garden

Post 60, Chapter 1:

This first chapter freaked me out. It was scary, downright chilling, reminiscent of "The Bone Collector." One of those awful reads that you hate, dread, and can't put down. Eerie. One of the most well-written first chapters I have seen yet on Authonomy.

F. Ellsworth Lockwood
"The Final Cruise"

Dear John, I love your beautiful ending & was glad that everything came out good in the end after some twists & turns. :) Hope you write more books. :) Before I began to read your book, I was prepared by your pitch, which was a very well done hook. :) Your story is good because you create interest by having short paragraphs & lots of dialogue, which makes me want to keep reading to find out what's going to happen next. I'm "backing" your book: When you back a book, it only improves the ranking of that book, not yours. However, the author whose book you are backing may decide to back your book also, in which case yes, your ranking would be improved...authonomy. :) Please "back" my TWO memoir books, "He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not" & my completed memoir unedited version? "Tell Me True Love Stories," which tells at the end, my illness now & 6th abusive marriage." Thanks, Susie :)
p.s. Remember: Every time you place a book on your bookshelf, your recommendation pushes the book up the rankings. And while that book sits on your bookshelf, your reputation as a talent spotter increases depending on how well that book performs. :)

Quality from the first line. Backed.

Crystal clear and economical prose carries your first scene forward, convincingly, and at a pace, until we arrive at the cliffhanger, 'One irradiated alligator was not found...' and the question as to the threat a rampant irradiated alligator could pose is irresistible as you launch into the meat of Chapter 1.

Freddie, Clay and Rosie are all well drawn and plausible characters as, again, the very clear and easily readable prose carries their relation to one another and the storyline forward at a pace and with a real sense of involvement for the reader.

Backed.
Ray
(A Child from the Wishing Well)

Very cool.
Backed.
A zoomer
Going Out in Style

POST 60 By John E DeHart
I had difficulty creating visual images to aid me in following the story. I am unfamiliar with pipes and manhole covers, ponds and such and was therefore quite lost during Chapter 1. I didn't anticipate the danger the boys were facing nor understand that the alligator was no longer in the pond.

As I began chapter 2, I struggled to visualize someone sitting spread eagle. Did you perhaps mean cross-legged?

Because I was so lost in space, I wasn't able to connect with your characters or the plot. I'd like to reread this, John, if you ever decide to revamp the first chapters and include some descriptive scene-setting.

Eileen Schuh Canadian Author FIREWALLS

An exceptional opening chapter (prologue) to an exceptionally well written novel. Already on my shelf.

Post 60

This is a hidden gem!

Your narrative is a spectacular build (little short of descriptive sound). Rosie is a doll (well ish). Your ability to create character if fantastic, everyone you introduce comes alive on the page. This is so well written it’s addictive. – Good luck

Awesome read. Charcters and diolouge created a pwerful voice that hold the reader attention. C W Shelved.

Brilliant pitch. Writing of a literary quality but not all introspective, full of commercial guts and tension. backed. Lynn

Hey, John -

Excellent prologue! It ended on just the right mix of tension and foreshadowing.

More than happy to back Post 60.

I wish you the best of luck with it, and I wonder if you wouldn't mind taking a look at my book.

Thanks.

-Jeff Lee
THE LADIES TEMPERANCE CLUB'S FAREWELL TOUR

Read chapter 25 to end. This contains quite lyrical prose which can be quite mesmerising. Ellie makes an intriguing and engaging MC. Your description and observation is spot on. i did not notice and glaring typos. Jim Darcy The Firelord's Crown

Your prologue hooked me. Superb characterization. Your thorough descriptions add dimension to your story. I can feel, smell and hear your setting and characters as well as see them. Your dialogue reads natural and is relevant. Your pacing kept me riveted. This is an intense, compelling suspense. Backed.

A really intriguing pitch (with 'farting' in the tags?). :)

Full of suspense and extremely thrilling. I did find the prologue a bit long winded, but the first few chapters flowed really well.
DP Walker
Five Dares

An irradiated alligator -- how can you not love that? Great premise and a promising story. The writing is clear and succinct, with snappy little one-line gems.

Dana L.
The Book of Lucas

I read the pitches and really liked it. The first chapter shows us your ability to write. But I do wanna read more to see where this is going. SHELVED!

I can use your comments on my book when you get a chance. Cheers!

JC
The Obergemau Key

See my earlier comment.

John, if you have found my thread on the forum about using passive verbs then you already suspect that Post 60 is my kind of read. And so it is. Big beefy verbs, and a story that hits the ground running...watchlisted to move to my shelf - probably tomorrow. All best, Cynthia Drew, Tabernacle

POST 60:

John,

I was pointed in your direction by Pam's profile, and was pleased to find an attention-grabbing pitch and an excellent prologue, which draw the reader into this unusual novel. Clearly written from the heart, with realistic, taut dialogue and a lively prose style, it's a most enjoyable read, with something very different to say.

Backed, with pleasure.

Sheila (Pinpoint)

Shelved with pleasure. Best wishes, Barry (Little Krisna and the Bihar Boys)

The prologue to this was excellent, after that I had a hard time following it. It read like a rough draft. I couldn't figure out who the characters were or how they were related. I felt it needed more narration to tie it all together.

I like the idea of it though and think you should continue to work with it using any and all suggestions you get here to your best advantage. You don't want it to sound like it was written by a committee but, if you distill your feedback it can be very helpful.

Kid with an attack gator... a radioactive attack gator! Very nice. Kids with deadly weapons may be the scariest thing imaginable,imagination and no grip on right and wrong. No complaints, just wondering where the hell it's all going to lead. Reading on.

Shelved,
Dan-
Eunice and Ethan.

I would encapsulate "on the edge of the Columbia River" with commas. The sentence was confusing to me without those commas, though it might have been a stylistic choice. You seem to know what you are doing :) The prolgoue is very well written but for my tastes a little slow as far as what is taking place (in the first part--1964 onward i enjoyed).

Once we move onto finding the gator and the rest of the scene, I got more into the story. I'm wondering what will happen to Whit and Freddie. Sounds like they are headed on a pretty evil path. This story will do well here. You write well and the story so far is interesting :)
Backed

xBeccaX
The First Phoenix

PS--someone named Jan read for me and when I offered to return the read she pointed me your way because she didn't have a book up :)

BACKED!

BD Nelson
Abigail's Cries
The Autobiography

John: I read first chapter, and wow, nice writing. Tight, fast paced, immediate, concrete details, and rings true. I like it. I would read it if I could find a copy. I am not much into reading books online; I am too much of a slouch! Good luck to you.

Frist classm story and great writing. I haven;t had time to finish this one, but it has got me hooked! I really liked the prologue and the story is gritty and real. I thinkv this is a winner! BACKED.

George Fripley
(Wurzel of Clutton)

John, I was referred over to you by "Pam". I can see why. You have an incredibly engaging story that is professionally crafted. This is quality work that I would heartily recommend. Congratulations. I am happy to back it.

Richard Bard
BRAINRUSH

John, this is one enthralling story. I don't say this often, but I can see this going to print. You are obviously a highly accomplished writer with an exceptional story. Best of luck. Backed.
Thomas J Winton
Beyond Nostalgia

You have a very captivating story here. Well written, suspenseful, nice amount of tension.

Backed.

John Pearson
Learn Me Good

Came over from a recommendation.

Good writing, good story.

backed.

Lorrii

Oops.. sorry, meant the characters are unbelievable well-written.

Can't understand why this isn't doing better... characters are unbelievable, and the story takes you for a ride that doesn't end. All the best on your endeavor!

I enjoyed reading this very much :) The opening was very good. I do find that some writers will jump into long descriptive passages at the very start and it can be like plodding through mud, but here your description was set at an active and even pace, it was exciting and interesting right from the start. Just one thought: maybe some of the dialogue might be better without the italics in one or two places. Though that is a matter of taste as well I suppose :)
On my shelf! Good luck :)

Great work. You bring everything together, bending the reader to your will with your style. Using well-tuned pace, clever description and dialogue, i was drawn further into this novel.

Thanks for writing it. Even the experiments on animals.........

BACKED

Great prologue and book to match. The descriptions are vivid and I was feeling sick and grimacing, as I am a wimp when it comes to this genre. But this is brilliant, and the horror, action and thrills are all there. A book that has potential to go all the way and it is backed on my shelf.

ww Lisa

Absolutely loved the first chapter. Would have gladly read on but I am so pushed for time at the moment trying to finish my second novel! The writing and story-telling is very strong - a perfect mix of good pace, drama and description. You deserve to do well with this. I wish you luck. Backed. Clare (Second Lives)

Hi John! Wow, your book is very good. Any book that has the word "buttmunch" in the first chapter should surely make the best sellers list! :-) Why is your book not on the editor's desk yet - let alone have a publishing deal? It's been on this site for over a year. I just joined like two weeks ago and now I'm almost as highly ranked as you. That's not fair. You should get a book deal before I do. HarperCollins take note: Post 60 by John DeHart needs a book deal. Got it? Good.

Sincerely,

Kevin Wong
Author of Heroes of Destiny

One of the best prologues I've read: it achieved its purpose and with a sigh of anticipation I went to Chapter Two. You didn't dissapoint. Post 60 is an exceptionally well written book, and definitely belongs high among the horror genre. I've still got a way to go, but I confess to peeking at the Epilogue. Great stuff. Happily shelved until I can get back to it.

Nicholas ("The Warlock") Take a look and drop me a comment.

Hello John, If your first chapter - Prologue - is true, then I am already frightened! You tell a very convincing tale and the action comes right off the page. Amusing writing when the reader tries to consider being inside the thoughts of an alligator. Well done and I hope that it will make good progress to the top. SHELVED.
Good luck. Could you give a little to read my story, A Passing Storm, obviously not your genre, but you never know!!

Phyllis Burton
A Passing Storm

This isn't an easy journey, but then the best books often aren't. The story you tell is heart-rending, often dark, yet full of hope. You write with passion, a deep undersanding of what makes us tick, and in a style which enables us to feel totally involved throughout. Your dialogue sections are particularly compelling. I think this book will do very well. Backed with pleasure. Best wishes, Tony.

John,

Quite the interesting pitch. I like the idea of the alligator. I don’t know why, but I’ve always enjoyed stories of mutant alligators!

The is well written and engaging, hard to put down.

I would have liked to have read about the four boys reactions to seeing the alligator and when the fire gets out of hand. There wasn’t even so much as the mention of a scream or shout.

In chapter one on the night Clay was going to run away it wasn’t clear to me what he was trying to do with Jay before Jay lost consciousness.

This was a great read, definitely one I’d like to return to and read more.

Shelved with pleasure.

Laurie – Into The Master’s Lair

Man, Freddie is one little shit, isn't he? I can sympathesize with his feelings of resentment and hatred for those who treat him like shit, but to have his gator eat them? That's a little extreme. I love your book, though. The premise that mutated alligators exist around Hanford is believable and makes for an interesting story. The descriptions of the tunnels, Freddie's feelings for his brother, and his resentment of the kids who get stingray bikes from their parents all make for a very imaginative and realistic read. I want to read a lot more when I get a little time, so you are shelved.

Dear John

I read chapter 28, the Epilogue.

Great ending, lots of build up and tension all the way back to Ellie's reuniting with John. Aha . . . and you leave us guessing . . .

I really enjoyed reading this, thank you. Lots of luck all the way to the top.

Quick notes:
'On the brink of another heady night,' I might suggest a comma after 'night'
'Daniel Steele' - spelling 'Danielle Steele'?

Backed some while back, with very best wishes, Catherine, Whirl of the Wheel.

Dear John E. DeHart

Thank you for sharing your story and its wordplay with us. I enjoyed your wordsmithing, especially the lines “All but forgotten, it sought warmth,” and “Happy like he had sunshine up his butt.” Your short sentences and economy of words allow for power of narrative.

To cover new ground, I skipped to chapter fourteen and was greeted by this fantastic line, “Panic slipped under her breastbone like a fillet knife.” And “Monsters only do two things: eat and fuck shit up.”

The read was a pleasure.

Best wishes,
Alan Marling
Ghost Warrior, the Stealing

Hi John, Bizarre conflicts in this story. Yet the writing brings that into perspective, being succinct and giving emphasis to the characters. Freddie and Jay’s doings with the crocodile and turtle take on much more demonstrative meaning from the first. The dialogue is expressive and matches the energy of the story. Your technique can convey in this strange plot. Shelved – Katherine (The Swan Bonnet)

Hi,
I have read the prologue and first chapter.
I was impressed from the start by your writing. it is effective and you managed to keep me hooked throughout.
You have an interesting premise and i believe that this promises to be an excellent read throughout. Your skill as a writer promises this. I will shelve this and wish you all the best at authonomy.

Regards,

Mark H

Holy-moly, Ms. McCullough! That's some backing! Thank yo, thank you! It was a painful and poignant story to write, seeing as how some of it was real, but it was a story I couldn't NOT write. You obviously read quite a lot of the story and perhaps all of it, and I'm very grateful.
Thank you SO much.
John

A first class book by a first class writer. The prologue, written in clear, easy to read sentences, is attention catching and takes us right into the plot. But at the same time it is written in a style which is so much more than just clear. The last line, in particular. as well as being a real hook, demonstrates the writer's creative ability as well as any. 'One irradiated alligator was never found.' Simple, but so chilling, even eerie. All through the book, this same writing skill is evident. '...the master of space and colouring...' 'Clay's green door seemed a hazy darkness of disease and Death.' I could quote so many more examples of this man's brilliance. On top of that, there is his realistic character drawing and dialogue. Freddie, Jay, Clay, Ellie - at different points in the book, we are taken inside each of their heads, and understand them, even to some extent empathise with them. We hear each character's distinctive voice, revealing the writer's excellent ear, and we understand their motivation. Probably the most thrilling action scene in the book is the monster's destruction of Whit, and Jay's explanation of what Whit and Freddie will have to do, so that they 'might get to see God, yet...' leaves us stunned. For a great scene less dependent on action, Ellie's flight, her meeting with Whit's mother - 'The Hag-Nurse-Neck' of Jay's nightmares - and her golden flecked eyes shining at John at the end of the book, would be hard to beat for sheer effect. Backed.
Gerry McCullough,
Belfast Girls.