Book Jacket

 

rank 938
word count 62582
date submitted 17.10.2011
date updated 17.01.2012
genres: Fiction, Thriller, Romance, Fantasy...
classification: moderate
complete

Shadow of Winter

Jack Hughes

Some battles can last a lifetime. And some love lasts forever.

 

Kathryn Fraser never knew why Andre Krauss shot himself, or what his connection might have been to a top secret military project called Prometheus. Or why she was attacked for it in a quiet London street by a sinister hooded assailant.

Five years later, her search for answers to the events that night leads her to a small seaside town and to another bizarre mystery that began with the disappearance of the town's church warden, John Vincent, and with a device recovered from the wreck of a German submarine. But as Kathryn delves further, she make a chilling discovery that pushes her to the very limits of her sanity. A duel is being fought in that small town. A game of strategy that has raged for centuries between good and evil, and has now entered its final stage.

Prometheus, the key to Armaggedon, has been found.

And the last game is about to begin.






 
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tags

agent, assassin, conspiracy, grail, kgb, knights, mi5, mystery, prometheus, secret, templars, thriller, winter

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31 comments

 

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RMAWriteNow wrote 10 days ago

Hi Jack; I know this is shallow, but I spotted your book when I first started here and put it on my WL mainly because of the cover and the opening paragraph. I knew that I would like it, there was just something quite special about the eerie sense of mystery to your book that appealed. At last, after reading the first two chapters I can confirm my initial gut feeling was correct: This is GOOD. The story has a smooth, easy flow to it and leaves you wanting to read more. Which I shall. Congratulations on your work and all the best.
RMA
Sea Spray and Stars

Wanttobeawriter wrote 16 days ago

SHADOW OF WINTER
This is an intriguing story. I like the way even the title because of the shadows and the cold has an eerie sense about it. Gregor is a good character; he’s an inside look at what it must be like to be a hired killer. He becomes sympathetic when he thinks of how he’s being forced into doing this, not doing it by change. Best of all, because of all the detail you include, the story has an overall tone of foreboding about it. At the same time you’ve balanced that with a fast moving story: hard to do. Highly starred and added to my shelf. Wanttobeawriter: Who Killed the President?

Jack Hughes wrote 108 days ago

Everything helps, Ian, thank you very much.

Jack

Jack, a return backing. I hope this helps - Ian

iandsmith wrote 108 days ago

Jack, a return backing. I hope this helps - Ian

Shelby Z. wrote 114 days ago

Interesting idea for a story. Your style is really well created.
The pitch is drawing and the title is creative.
It is well written.
good work!

Shelby Z./Driving Winds

Jack Hughes wrote 119 days ago

Thanks Scott, hope it won't disappoint.

Jack

I love mystery books! Your plot really spiked my interest and I can't wait to read more later on!
Thanks,
Scott

ScottTrimas wrote 119 days ago

I love mystery books! Your plot really spiked my interest and I can't wait to read more later on!
Thanks,
Scott

Jack Hughes wrote 128 days ago

Thank you Ian. I've had a report back from the Literary Consultancy and have done a little more pruning and tweaking, so I'll include that when I can. I appreciate your taking the time and I'm very grateful for the points you mentioned.

Many thanks and the best of luck,

Jack

Hi, Jack, The opening chapter in italics seems to come from another novel altogether. Fantasy perhaps? However, the Texan is great. He drew me in.

The third person style told from Gregor’s point-of-view works. But would Gregor Peruska, a cold hit man, speculate about Andre Krauss? I believe he’s a cold hit man because of the restrained intolerance of the bore (the chewing gum is genius), and the terse details of his mission, but there’s an out-of-character glimpse of doubt in, “The mission seemed pretty desperate”. It makes me think he wouldn’t be able to harm a fly. Failure ought to be unthinkable if Gregor is to be convincing.

I like the arrogance in, “That’s why they sent for him. The Gorky park school master”. I can believe he had a fantasy name for himself, and that he thinks about nothing but himself. The smoking incident at the airport is perfect.

But Bank Holiday London? Bad planning.

So he really is a lecturer! Geography? History? It’s no surprise that he’s an inept hit man. It was a self-fulfilling prophesy. If it had been a routine assassination, then Krauss putting the hapless Anyetta in the firing line would make Krauss the perfect evil ruthless genius that Gregor’s hunting down.

Gregor talks to his gun! OMG. That can’t be good.

I was confused by, “years of lecturing students was raging at him”. Frighteningly, it seems he trains other hit men.

The car racing by, the bickering couple, all a huge distraction from the real action. Surely, he would have called it off if that happened.

“You murdering bastard!” he shouts. Isn’t this the pot calling the kettle?

Overall it has a lot of potential and the writing style is very good, but I think you’re trying to do too much with plot, character and events in the opening chapter. No bad thing, but it’s a huge task. There’s a thrilling opening chapter within this. My guess is keep it simple. Make it go to plan. Make Gregor ruthless, then you’ll have a thriller. Good luck. PS I still owe you a backing.

iandsmith wrote 128 days ago

Hi, Jack, The opening chapter in italics seems to come from another novel altogether. Fantasy perhaps? However, the Texan is great. He drew me in.

The third person style told from Gregor’s point-of-view works. But would Gregor Peruska, a cold hit man, speculate about Andre Krauss? I believe he’s a cold hit man because of the restrained intolerance of the bore (the chewing gum is genius), and the terse details of his mission, but there’s an out-of-character glimpse of doubt in, “The mission seemed pretty desperate”. It makes me think he wouldn’t be able to harm a fly. Failure ought to be unthinkable if Gregor is to be convincing.

I like the arrogance in, “That’s why they sent for him. The Gorky park school master”. I can believe he had a fantasy name for himself, and that he thinks about nothing but himself. The smoking incident at the airport is perfect.

But Bank Holiday London? Bad planning.

So he really is a lecturer! Geography? History? It’s no surprise that he’s an inept hit man. It was a self-fulfilling prophesy. If it had been a routine assassination, then Krauss putting the hapless Anyetta in the firing line would make Krauss the perfect evil ruthless genius that Gregor’s hunting down.

Gregor talks to his gun! OMG. That can’t be good.

I was confused by, “years of lecturing students was raging at him”. Frighteningly, it seems he trains other hit men.

The car racing by, the bickering couple, all a huge distraction from the real action. Surely, he would have called it off if that happened.

“You murdering bastard!” he shouts. Isn’t this the pot calling the kettle?

Overall it has a lot of potential and the writing style is very good, but I think you’re trying to do too much with plot, character and events in the opening chapter. No bad thing, but it’s a huge task. There’s a thrilling opening chapter within this. My guess is keep it simple. Make it go to plan. Make Gregor ruthless, then you’ll have a thriller. Good luck. PS I still owe you a backing.

Michael Ranson wrote 130 days ago

A very well written spy thriller, composed by someone who knows his genre inside out. The narrative is pacey and the phrasing is catchy and creates a constant tension that draws the reader on. The characterisation is credible. Metaphors are interesting and creative. Atmosphere is superb: I could smell the coffee-laced breath and cigarette smoke of the protagonist, and felt his anxiety and adrenaline. A very good first chapter.

I have noted some line edits which I will send in a separate message.

Cheers,
Mike

Jack Hughes wrote 140 days ago

Thank you, kind of you to read it. I hadn't realised how heavy-going it was to be honest, I thought it was quite fluid, but I've made some modifications over the past few days so, hopefully, it should be a little smoother.

Jack

Hi Jack

The pitch caught my attention although this isn't something I would normally go for. I think the plot seems interesting and I like the dark tone of the characters and the descriptions. Having said that, it's a heavy read. I feel tired reading it as it is filled with descriptions and I feel like i have to re-read a lot to completely understand what has been said. The paragraphs are rather long and it seems a little bit daunting to get through the chapters. This is only my personal opinion, but I would try to lighten it just a little bit - perhaps with some more dialogue or even just lightening the mood sometimes might help.

I couldn't find fault with your grammar or spelling.

I wish you the best of luck!

Tate Reese wrote 140 days ago

Hi Jack

The pitch caught my attention although this isn't something I would normally go for. I think the plot seems interesting and I like the dark tone of the characters and the descriptions. Having said that, it's a heavy read. I feel tired reading it as it is filled with descriptions and I feel like i have to re-read a lot to completely understand what has been said. The paragraphs are rather long and it seems a little bit daunting to get through the chapters. This is only my personal opinion, but I would try to lighten it just a little bit - perhaps with some more dialogue or even just lightening the mood sometimes might help.

I couldn't find fault with your grammar or spelling.

I wish you the best of luck!

Jack Hughes wrote 163 days ago

Done a little juggling about here. A criticism from an agent was that the chronology was confusing so I've straightened it a little. Just no pleasing some dodos really is there?

Best of luck everyone.

Jack

Jack Hughes wrote 163 days ago

Hello Yannis,

That's fair comment. This was my first real attempt at doing a modern thriller, so it was always going to be a bit experimental. I was going by two of my favourite thrillers; Day of the Jackal has so much that it reads in parts like a cross between a travel guide and a Haynes manual, and so does Harry's Game by Gerald Seymour. I will clear things up a little though and I take the point on the translation. Without a translation I just wondered if people would know what I was on about! Half the time I wonder if I do, but that's a different matter.

Thank you so much for taking the time to look at it, I knew I was going wrong somewhere, just didn't quite know where. That's one of the best features of Authonomy, agents wouldn't have bothered commenting on why they rejected it. I've got an assessment on it coming from the Literary Consultancy, and I have a feeling they may say something similar.

Best of luck with Book of the Forsaken, I'll leave it on my shelf as long as I can and will make some comments when I have some more time to read it properly.

Jack




Jack,

here it goes. I read to the middle of the second chapter where I felt I wanted to stop.

It's probably a matter of taste here and I don't know if I should be advising you on the following -you also said it's a first draft, so maybe that's the reason.

I think the prose in what I've read is thick. I'm a reader (and consequently a writer) who doesn't appreciate the details in a scene. My main worry was the second chapter, 'cause the first, however thick, came across as interesting and mysterious. I think out of the two I would go with the first after a clean-up.

In the second chapter, you do what I always hate to encounter in a story. You offer information that should make a character or the plot very interesting and amaze the reader with the detail, but instead put him/her off.
For example: "But the plastic grip of the pistol, a Czech made CZ75 that he..." or "The rasping engines of the ATR.." or "..a new generation of assault vehicle the GRU wanted to test..." or "...Colonel Victor Stavich of the -really big sentence in Russian followed by its translation in English-"

Do you see what I mean here? These information take time to be read and effort to be depicted, but eventually they don't register... What's a CZ75? An ATR? The GRU? Why say something in Russian if you are going to translate it?

Maybe that's just me. That's all I got for now. Maybe at some point I'll return for some more, 'cause I was intrigued by the opening chapter.

Yannis
The Book of the Forsaken

MrKarats wrote 164 days ago

Jack,

here it goes. I read to the middle of the second chapter where I felt I wanted to stop.

It's probably a matter of taste here and I don't know if I should be advising you on the following -you also said it's a first draft, so maybe that's the reason.

I think the prose in what I've read is thick. I'm a reader (and consequently a writer) who doesn't appreciate the details in a scene. My main worry was the second chapter, 'cause the first, however thick, came across as interesting and mysterious. I think out of the two I would go with the first after a clean-up.

In the second chapter, you do what I always hate to encounter in a story. You offer information that should make a character or the plot very interesting and amaze the reader with the detail, but instead put him/her off.
For example: "But the plastic grip of the pistol, a Czech made CZ75 that he..." or "The rasping engines of the ATR.." or "..a new generation of assault vehicle the GRU wanted to test..." or "...Colonel Victor Stavich of the -really big sentence in Russian followed by its translation in English-"

Do you see what I mean here? These information take time to be read and effort to be depicted, but eventually they don't register... What's a CZ75? An ATR? The GRU? Why say something in Russian if you are going to translate it?

Maybe that's just me. That's all I got for now. Maybe at some point I'll return for some more, 'cause I was intrigued by the opening chapter.

Yannis
The Book of the Forsaken

Jack Hughes wrote 172 days ago

Thank you, that's very encouraging. Yes I've been thinking about submitting some work on Kindle lately and have put some work over on the 'Jottify' website. I'm just so fed up with agencies that I'm now tempted to circumvent the lot of them and throw myself on the generosity of the public.

I really appreciate your comments, thank you for taking a look.

Jack

As soon as I have room on my bookshelf this will be the next book on it. I made this decision based on the first chapter and the synopsis. You know how to hook a reader and make them want to read on! A slick, polished manuscript. Don't be discouraged about where you sit in the rankings. All it seems to mean is that you haven't the time or energy to network or play the game of self-promotion. The rankings are based on popularity, not the quality of the writing. A manuscript that made it all the way to the HC desk recently was still at the stage where it needed a polish. And some genres, like fantasy, are going to be way more popular than others. As I've tweeted, Autho is like a cross between a writers' group, Strictly Come Dancing and The Weakest Link. And if the agent doesn't bite then publish on Kindle.

turnerpage wrote 172 days ago

As soon as I have room on my bookshelf this will be the next book on it. I made this decision based on the first chapter and the synopsis. You know how to hook a reader and make them want to read on! A slick, polished manuscript. Don't be discouraged about where you sit in the rankings. All it seems to mean is that you haven't the time or energy to network or play the game of self-promotion. The rankings are based on popularity, not the quality of the writing. A manuscript that made it all the way to the HC desk recently was still at the stage where it needed a polish. And some genres, like fantasy, are going to be way more popular than others. As I've tweeted, Autho is like a cross between a writers' group, Strictly Come Dancing and The Weakest Link. And if the agent doesn't bite then publish on Kindle.

Jack Hughes wrote 174 days ago

Bless you Sara! At last someone has read it! I'm approaching the stage with this one where I'm thinking of giving out a free clock-radio with every backing. The authonomy doldrums is not a nice place to be in!

Will gladly take a read of War of the Wastelands for you, thanks for reading mine.

All the best

Jack

I would have to say that your writing style has a beautiful and natural flow to it that I haven't come across very often. Your descriptions are so sensory without being overdone. I also think you've mastered the ability to utilze a cuss word here and there most effectively without being too vulgar. It just works. I'm for sure going to put this on my watch list and I bet it will be climbing the ranks soon.

There is one spacing issue I thought was weird in chpt 1: "waiting for her at the junction....(paragraph change?) Nothing moved." Not sure if that was intentional.
Also, and this may be an English/American lingo thing, but the sentence "Her friday night in with a takeaway in front of the telly was over" Kind of made me stumble a bit. You know what though, Its probably just me being from Chicago. No worries about that one. But right away you start the next sentence "And her life..." I wouldnt' start the sentence with "And." I'd just take it out.

I think I would also suggest trimming up your synopsis. You only need to tease us with an intro. Your writing flare effectively captures my attention without needing excessive detail.

Awesome job. I'll be back.

Sara
p.s. If you'd like to take a look at War of the Wastelands, I'd appreciate any comments or critiques you may have.

scoz512 wrote 174 days ago

I would have to say that your writing style has a beautiful and natural flow to it that I haven't come across very often. Your descriptions are so sensory without being overdone. I also think you've mastered the ability to utilze a cuss word here and there most effectively without being too vulgar. It just works. I'm for sure going to put this on my watch list and I bet it will be climbing the ranks soon.

There is one spacing issue I thought was weird in chpt 1: "waiting for her at the junction....(paragraph change?) Nothing moved." Not sure if that was intentional.
Also, and this may be an English/American lingo thing, but the sentence "Her friday night in with a takeaway in front of the telly was over" Kind of made me stumble a bit. You know what though, Its probably just me being from Chicago. No worries about that one. But right away you start the next sentence "And her life..." I wouldnt' start the sentence with "And." I'd just take it out.

I think I would also suggest trimming up your synopsis. You only need to tease us with an intro. Your writing flare effectively captures my attention without needing excessive detail.

Awesome job. I'll be back.

Sara
p.s. If you'd like to take a look at War of the Wastelands, I'd appreciate any comments or critiques you may have.

Jack Hughes wrote 175 days ago

Thank you Sue! I hope the rest won't disappoint!

Many thanks

Jack

nice start! we certainly want to read more...then you continue to tell your tale with great skill and flow- helping us follow your story with interest...
on my watchlist...
read SEASONS...

Su Dan wrote 175 days ago

nice start! we certainly want to read more...then you continue to tell your tale with great skill and flow- helping us follow your story with interest...
on my watchlist...
read SEASONS...

Jack Hughes wrote 178 days ago

No problem Mark, thanks for taking a look. I wasn't too sure about starting off with profanity, generally it's only resorted to by those trying too hard to shock (and usually failing), but sometimes that's the only way to grab an agent's attention. They have the attention span of a mayfly on speed and after five lines, you've either sold it to them or they're onto something else.

All the best

Jack "Swear-box" Hughes



It's hard not to like a book that begins with swearing and this grips from the start. Kathryn's shock at what she's observing is powerfully evoked. And the pace is terrific. I normally try and give a bit of helpful feedback but can't fault anything so far. My shelf's choc-a-block at the moment but there's some stars coming your way till I can free it up.

Mark, The Devil's Fan Club

Mark Kirkbride wrote 179 days ago

It's hard not to like a book that begins with swearing and this grips from the start. Kathryn's shock at what she's observing is powerfully evoked. And the pace is terrific. I normally try and give a bit of helpful feedback but can't fault anything so far. My shelf's choc-a-block at the moment but there's some stars coming your way till I can free it up.

Mark, The Devil's Fan Club

Jack Hughes wrote 182 days ago

That's very kind, Dianna, thank you.

Best of luck,

Jack

Jack,

I read the first thrilling chapters of Shadows of Winter and was totally drawn into its action. You are a wonderful writer, enticing the reader along with bits of intrigue and doom just at the right time. No wasted words. Like Gregor, you have your mission and you set out straight away to carry it out - but unlike Gregor, you do it very well! Highly Starred!

Dianna Lanser
Nothing But The Blood

Dianna Lanser wrote 182 days ago

Jack,

I read the first thrilling chapters of Shadows of Winter and was totally drawn into its action. You are a wonderful writer, enticing the reader along with bits of intrigue and doom just at the right time. No wasted words. Like Gregor, you have your mission and you set out straight away to carry it out - but unlike Gregor, you do it very well! Highly Starred!

Dianna Lanser
Nothing But The Blood

Jack Hughes wrote 184 days ago

Well there we have it. The modern thriller that rounds off the whole story. It's now in the hands of an agent in London (sadly it isn't James Bond) and is pretty much finished. Hope you enjoy reading it, it's been a blast to write, and has fired my love of writing again.

Good luck everyone!!

Jack

Sheilab wrote 199 days ago

Hi Jack
Loved the opening chapters - I thought this flew along at a great pace.Thanks for the read.
Sheila

Sheilab wrote 199 days ago

what a beautiful cover. I look forward to reading this, Jack.
Sheila

A G Chaudhuri wrote 208 days ago


Shadow of Winter. Intriguing story. Still reading. Backed and 5-starred.

Regards,
AGC.

jrapilliard wrote 216 days ago

Hi, I have just backed your book, so interesting! Perhaps you could return the favour and back mine, Penrose - Princess of Penrith. If you do, many thanks. Best wishes, John.

Jack Hughes wrote 220 days ago

Here we are, the modern thriller that completes the 'Shadows of the Temple' series that began all those years ago with Dawn. First to last. Still working on it, hope you like it.

Jack

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