The Woman from E.A.R.L.

Final CLF review -

What can I say, Georgia? The Woman from E.A.R.L. was a very satisfying read. When it was done, if felt as happy and peaceful as Emily. I love happy endings. I thought you brought resolution to everyone in such a beautiful way.

In case you were wondering, I didn’t have the teeniest inkling of concern when I read chapter 26. I thought it was spot on. Emily was absolutely in the right and she knew it, that’s what gave her the courage to say what she had to say. ( well that and Charlea’s prayers)

What did bring out my emotion (I choked up three times) was when Emily’s thoughts turned to her daughters and how she thought she let them down. I was so glad she tried to work through that with them. I remember reading the early chapter where Emily shuts down at the accident scene. I thought to myself then, “Oh my, those poor little girls…

Not only does your story fulfill a purpose of showing people the danger and pain caused by spiritual abuse, this is simply a really entertaining story too. The characters and their mingled relationships, the separate sub-plots going on within their lives kept the story interesting and very relevant.

You are a very talented writer, one who I am so happy to call my friend. I pray God’s purposes will be met with this book.

Dianna Lanser
Nothing But The Blood

Okay. I don't even know where to begin. First of all I must say that I am not of the Christian faith and I have read a bunch of Christian fiction on this site and had a very difficult time relating to it because I don't understand very much about the Christian faith and it was difficult for me to understand a lot of the culture and issues, ideas and themes.

This? This is not Christian fiction. You have written a universal novel, a novel that people from all faiths can understand and relate to. Please excuse my but I am going to gush over here for a bit:

Not only is your writing beautiful in its simplicity - but the cadence of your sentences and you main character's personality and thought processes shines so brightly. It is what many say about my work - and I think that in your writing I may have found a kindred spirit. There is much about the way you write that reminds me of how I write. Measured sentences. Pregnant pauses. I can't really put it in words - but its totally there.

I think that Emily's crisis of faith is something that so many people experience - of all different religions - and people like Alex unfortunately abound (again, in all religions) and you write about these things bravely and openly, yet modestly and earnestly.

There is so much I admire about your writing, but so much I admire about your story, that I don't even know where to begin. And Emily is so real. So honest. So likeable. This is really difficult to pull off in 1st person. And the way your write about grief...

I am watchlisting this, giving it 6 stars and will put it on my shelf after January 1 when things calm down for me a bit on the site.

I have no criticism right now. That's really rare for me.

Wow. Just wow.

- Rena (Bunderful) author of Master of the Miracles

A lack of knowledge of Christians and the inner workings of a church does not dictate for certain that this book cannot be enjoyed by all. The author’s audience is people everywhere. It is the same everyday tale of struggle and balance with religious faith and place in each person’s life. Lovingly handled by the author in such a manner that one can be brought to tears over the trials and conflicts between friends and family and loyalty to God and the teachings, interpretations, and testaments of the words of The Bible as applicable in modern day, this story comes from the upclose and very personal viewpoint of the women who reject the hellfire and brimstone preachings in favour of the loving and nurturing embrace of their church and its patrons.

Mindful that there are times in our lives when events bring everything to a sudden and unexpected halt, while the world continues to turn about you, this author recognizes that one can appear to require a jump start to get moving again. The MC, Emily, seems at odds with everyone, tolerance of even the little things disappears, and author Ms. Georgia Peck is in tune with the very nature that realizes one may have to step out in order to get back in step with life. Exploring just such an instance, and the unique journey by which Emily finds her way back into her role as mother and religious witness and teacher of the loving embrace of The Shepherd’s fold, the author allows the characters to find strength in numbers and the ability to offer compassion, comfort, encouragement, and support to those victimized by the tyrants of pious domination.

In the more difficult present tense, Ms. Peck brings a community to the hearts of readers, makes one care and pray for the down-trodden, hope for the lost and discouraged, and admire those who step up to the challenge to do right by God and community. Oh, what the world could do with a chat room like EARL.
As for me, I was a bit confused with all the characters in chapters one and two, too many to keep track of and all that. Not uncommon, and by chapters three and four, I had settled quite nicely into the style and voice of this story. Perhaps, the expansion of the first two chapters into two more could have set all of the numerous characters better in my mind. Overall, it is very well written, and deserving of my high rating, and the only thing that I would definitely change would be the title - and only due to the story being about The Women From EARL.

The very best wishes to you on this one.

The Women from EARL / Georgia Peck

What a treat! I had to say that first.

The Women From EARL is a well-written depiction of life in small town America seen through the eyes of Emily Anne Rose Lyons. Interesting is the way she addresses issues I think many people struggle with every day in regard to 'religion' and the difference in 'faith'. I know single moms will like this.

I really enjoyed this. The flow is smooth, there is humor, philosophy, plot and great characters that combine to create what I think may well be a classic. (Would make a good movie)

Georgia Peck is a good writer. Not too much...not too little. The plot is well set, the scenes are VERY described and word usage, especially dialogue, is crisp and clean with no caffiene!

The entire premise for this story is unique. Not because someone may have a few issues with the / a church, it's goers or faith. We've read all that stuff. What Peck does is bring it to us in a story of human essence, one that is defined by our conscious as if we could be living it. I was very impressed with the way she did not 'hurry' the plot, yet kept it smooth. As I read this work I felt I was reading the work of a confident, capable writer who knew when to tickle the reader, what not to say at the wrong time and when to pile on the mystery. (Yes, the story has some mystery)

Essentially, this story reads like literary fiction. Some parts may seem slow but frankly, I never was tempted to stop reading. Peck does not hurry it (I said that I know) and that is the comparison I make to Lit Fic.

Excellent work! 6 stars. This is publishable work and I would buy a copy right now!

E M Delaney

This book was instantly captivating. I had to back it. It drew me in instantly leaving me curious and wanting more. I love your writing style. Fabulous book. I hope to see it on the shelves someday.

This book was instantly captivating. I had to back it. It drew me in instantly leaving me curious and wanting more. I love your writing style. Fabulous book. I hope to see it on the shelves someday.

I love your writing style. I've read several chapters, and found the story interesting and the characters real and credible. I feel I can relate to Emily. I can feel her pain, anger and frustration, and I 'know' the people she feels have let her down. I feel let down by them too, and I find myself recalling times I've witnessed spiritual abuse and questioning my own faith and beliefs. I definitely want to come back for more.

I am not a person of religion, but I can say that I am truly enjoying your writing. Your character is so dynamic and alive, her pain is so real and sad, makes me remember recent tragedies. And I can sympathize with her current dilemma, the death of a loved one is always tragic, especially that of a partner and trying to readjust after the loss. This is a sure-love not just for single mothers but anyone who has lost someone dear. Thank you for sharing your work!

You are a talented writer. The prologue drew me in immediately and the characters are very 'real'. Although it is 'fiction' there are some elements which are unfortunately very true-to-life. Your writing is so vivid it makes me wonder if you have had real-life experience of some of this.

I have read several chapters and am already impressed. High stars and I hope to come back and read more when I have some more time.

Margaret
How do I know I know God?

I like your book so much I came back
"I'm laughing and crying at the same time" same as your words

Georgia,
you introduce two new guests to the chat room in 22, with almost identical introductions: 'there's one new guest in the chat room tonight' and 'there's a new person in the chat room tonight.' I suggest you change one of those.
chapter 27 - like the wisdom from Hugh Mainard; don't like the gooey interaction between Alden and Emily; but love the little twist at the end of chapter 28!

Well Georgia, what can I say? you've done a great job here. I'm afraid it isn't a book I would rush out to buy, or would read twice, but I'm glad I kept reading to the end. Your closing scene brought tears to my eyes and it is a great ending to the book. For me, the book was too simple a treatment of a very complex issue, but having said that, I think it is an incredibly important issue, and weaving it into a narrative like this is a great way of dealing with it. So may God bless your edits, your climb up the authonomy ladder, and above all, may he bless you with love, joy and peace.
Peter

Chapter 20. I've found what I've been looking for - the glimmer of hope, recognition that even with the abuse and the pain, there is love and goodness. I think you are right though to wait till chapter 20 to bring this in - so often, particularly when in the midst of it, it just isn't possible to either see or acknowledge that there is goodness there too. And perhaps that is one of the hardest bits of abuse (of any kind) - that it can seemingly walk hand in hand with goodness? A bit like families I guess, and this is where the real gem in your writing is starting to shine through Georgia (chapter 21 now), weaving in a parallel narrative about Emily's family (and the ongoing narrative about her dealing with her grief over Ted, and coming to terms with her emotions for Alden). Well done; I'm looking forward to reading on to the end now.

I've come back at chapter 7, and you've hooked me. The jumble of emotions expressed by Ida are so real, and I love the irony of the new preacher ranting about EARL and Ida making the link. I like the analogy with trying to stamp out left-handedness in chapter 9. I also like your little touches - the glasses of wine (I've a glass of Pinot Grigio beside me at the moment); Alden insisting that women are equally culpable; Emily rolling her eyes; and the tentative, blossoming romance. Well done.

Also I found the pro;ogue very well written, it drew me in straight away.

what a wonderful read. i thoroughly enjoyed the idea for this book, and i found it interesting hearing about Emilys pastt and how she met Ted i will read on and continue to comment.

Gosh Georgia,
You jump right in with both feet don't you? I have finally got round to reading this and by the end of the prologue I felt like I'd been punched, kicked and betrayed myself. So, although it wasn't quite what I was hoping for when I sat down for a relaxing afternoon, I am impressed. You write powerfully and with passion and the prose really does flow.

Chapter 1: I'm not sure about the punctuation for the first sentence of paragraph 2: It's Sunday so of course, here I sit, where I've sat... Those commas feel all wrong to me, but I'm not the best person to comment on grammar.
A bit further on, would 'my women's intuition' be better as 'my woman's intuition'?

A few chapters on and I'm struggling with the culture here - it is so far from my experience that people could accept so passively what a pastor says; but I know that does happen, and I guess that's why spiritual abuse can happen, even if it is perhaps usually more subtle?

Chapter 6 - well done, you cover the accident and Emily's feelings really well.

I'll be honest, I'm not convinced about the book. On the one hand, I think it is great to acknowledge the reality of spiritual abuse, and to explore just what that means; on the other hand, do we really need it? What will we gain by reading through lots of stories of different examples of such abuse? However, it is well written, and I'm prepared to give it a try, so I will keep reading, even if just in small bits.

Peter

Just read the first chapter and had to comment. You are an excellent writer. You have an easy to follow style with completely believable dialogue. The characters are interesting and immediately I wanted to know more about all of them. I already know I want to back this book and I look forward to reading the remainder chapters.

Sylvia Talo
Deadly Dot Com Revenge

Georgia,
I just finished your book, and thought I would comment again.

The grammar geek came out a little. There were still problems with commas, including commas instead of period before speech tags. The mechanics are easily fix thought, so I'm not worried about it.

I like Alden's fun mannerisms and the way hit fits into the family.

Also, I identified with the comment about the pastor eating too much. We all have our vices. That is important to remember.

Seriously this Alicia person, I would have said to her, "God told me to tell you to shut up!" It's good she had a chance for redemption in the end.

Ch 23 was especially good. I'm glad you included Jessie's realization about Pastor being lonely. Sometimes we forget that. I did think there was some possible foreshadowing with the conversation regarding the doctor.

There were several twists at the end that I didn't see coming. Was there an implied twist with Charlea and Hugh? :-)

Great job with the conversation with Emily and Cynthia. I especially liked it because it showed that even though Emily has become a leader in this situation, she too is still learning, and she doesn't resent it. That scene right there sums up the change that Emily goes through in the course of this book.

You have a great style. It flows well and is easy to read. You've also done a good job of tackling an issue that many people are going to identify with. Thank you for a every enjoyable read.

Cheers,
Ms. J- Lord of All

I like the simplistic and gentle approach to this story. Waxing lyrical can often ruin the flow of words as they should be read. I was quite intrigued by Emily and her faith issues, Ida, charlea et cetera and their opnions of the church. This is very nicely written. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to read this. I find no fault with this story and I would highly recommend it to anyone.

Trev

Georgia,

I like your prologue very much! Nice addition to this wonderful book. I'll be getting you back on my shelf next month. :-)

Blessings!

Patti

Georgia,
I'm continuing to read. Today I made it through ch 9. I did notice there were a few spots where you used had and didn't need it. If you can cut it out, that will make the language more active. Now to the interesting stuff. We had someone through a bag of puppies on the highway in front of our home. I was able to rescue one and she lived with us until she passed away. That made me relate to the puppy situation.

As I was reading Ida's story, I really found myself repulsed by Ida and especially John. Then there was that little act of rebellion on Ida's part. I didn't see that coming and she grew in my estimation.

I like Alden and his character presents some interesting possibilities.

Favorite line from this section- "Pharisees wouldn't exist unless we let them exist."

Regards,
Ms. J

I like the prologue...it does a good job of setting the stage. The only question I have is whether "dear Alex" would countenance people in his church calling him "Alex" ... I should think the authoritarian within would insist on at LEAST "Brother Alex" or "Pastor Alex".
Love, Joyce

I like the preface. It shows immediately what Alex is doing to divide the church, and it shows that Ida regrets her friend’s pain. I also like how it ties in with the end of the first chapter--the woman they are used to having serve the communion, and how Alex is going to interrupt her service. The only thing I think you might reconsider is the sentence, “In a short time, Alex would be gone.” I think this gives away a bit of what happens later, unless you add a quick sentence about his plans to leave. I like your idea! :)
~Hannah

Georgia,
I read the first 5 chapters and I wanted to make some comments.

Ch. 1
I particularly enjoyed the personification in the 1st paragraph. You did a good job of setting up the conflict right away. Personally, I think it is healthy to question your religion. I don't believe God wants us to follow blindly.

I found the character of Emily to be human as easy to relate to.

I did notice that you have several compound sentences that are missing the comma.

Ch 2-
I was please to see that the problem was not just this particular congregation. Alex's actions clearly don't come from love and he is not the only one like that.


Ch 3.
I had a personal reaction to Ida because I experiences a situation similar to Emily's. I detest Ida's ignorance.

Ch.4
When you switch back to Emily's POV here, I was a little thrown. I wasn't sure who was telling the story at first. Without the header, I just assumed we were carrying on with Ida.

Ch 5
Great Allusions to Shakespeare's Seven Stages on Man sonnet!

Overall:
I am enjoying the read. I can relate very much with this as I recently experience a similar situation. Coming from a very religious culture, it has not been as easy road. I am interested to see where Emily's journey will take her.

Regards,
Ms. J- Lord of All
Historical Fiction Readers Group

I love your structure and attention for details
I read a bit but with time I would finish

First, I love the title of this book and the first chapter that i just read will never let me stand up until i have finish reading it.

Isoje David
Animals in Paradise

Beautifully written really touching. I have read two chapters so far. I love the character of Emily. Really insightful story, On my watchlist will give it some well deserved stars

Welp these three chapters I've read so far are quite clear and they got me hooked...seriously I'm finding it a bit hard to stop reading. I do love the decriptive paragraphs and the character aren't one dimentional which is always good too.

Its true it does seems to happen though shouldn't, as you said peoplel came in and influence the change, and to fit in the some people change things. It is better that we know what to change and what not to. spiritual learning should be contained not to change with phylsophy. Controlling should not be allowed.

Its true it does seems to happen though shouldn't, as you said peoplel came in and influence the change, and to fit in the some people change things. It is better that we know what to change and what not to. spiritual learning should be contained not to change with phylsophy.

Hello Georgia-
book The Woman from E.A.R.L-

Read quite a good bit of this engaging book and found the read first class.
In fact, I got so engrossed in this tale i had difficulty putting it down , as they say-
I got a definite feel of involvement as I moved through the pages-
lots of Christian women readers will identify; with this story-

highly recommended and gets my six stars
tom bye
book-from hugs to kisses'
You might enjoy chapter 19 in mine - if time to read that is- thanks

Well written with clear sentances. Love, care, sensation, friendship and spirtuality. The abusive issue.
A big book i read 4 chps and i will continue reading.

Well written with clear sentances. Love, care, sensation, friendship and spirtuality.
a big book i read 4 chps and i will continue reading.

Emily,
"The Women from EARL" is a piece of honest writing about foibles within the church. Emily using the first person narrative, comes across as a sympathertic character I can only cheer on because everything she says makes absolute sense. Your conversational style is engaging, your dialogue crisp and real. Thank you so much for the inspiring read.

Kenneth Edward Lim
The North Korean

Hi Georgia,
the writing is beautiful, some lovely bits, especially liked the first paragraph about the tussle between spring and winter.
My only issue with the first chp was that not much happens, so there's rather a lot of internal monologue and as the characters are in Church it's all a litle static.
Will look at some more chps soon.
We're doing a reading swap, so pls take a look at mine when you can,
http://www.authonomy.com/books/42835/mr-unusually-s-circus-of-dreams/
All the best,
Sharda.

Hi Georgia,
I have nejoyed reading The Woman from E.A.R.L so much even though me and church parted.It is a book that delves deep into the way of life of many people and its told in humor and thought provoking insight! I think am watchlisting it right away but now am giving it 6 ******s that will no doubt push it higher. I would buy this and read and would love to see it in many bookstore.
Well done.
Josphine
Notime goes bye

I usually don't read women's novel because of their one deminsional version of what men are. (That's okay. we have no idea what you are thinking either). But this was well done and I like the writing style. It should be a good seller for women. Good luck.

Hi Georgia,
Just wanted to say how much I loved chapters 7 and 8. This book is very cleverly written.

I love the way the first chapter ends, “and actually reading the bible for myself, I no longer believe in anything.” We all go through desert periods in our spiritual journeys and this resonated with me. The conflict the main character encounters and her efforts to make sense of her personal belief system is well captured by your narrative. You've written a very readable Christian fiction book.
"The Celestial Proposal: Dare we Join the God-kind?"

Georgia, once again I just want to endorse your book and let you know how much this story meant to me. Your portrayal of your characters, their flaws as well as their goodness, and you emotional honesty shines through and absolutely elevates this book into a "must read" for any Christian who has suffered Spritual Abuse at the hands of a religious authority.
Thank you!
Joyce ~ Slave to Grace

Dear Georgia,
I am so glad to have found your book. As a Christian minister, it is hard to read about 'bad' pastors. They have so much to answer for! I love the church (the people of God) - have done since I was a child, but I understand that church leaders and pastors are only people, and quite capable of doing terrible things.
Your theme is fresh and intriguing, presenting an interesting perspective on the problems of life and relationships, through the eyes of various people. I like the expressions you use eg. "an unbearable amount of pain fell upon me". I have experienced that also. Your book deserves a place on my shelf with six stars. Would you be so kind as to take a look at my book THE GOD PLEASERS?

A fascinating glimpse into the destructive effects of meddlesome male politicking in church. Very well done. I reached the end of ch2, and the rant against Alex Farrell stood out with a voice so clear demanding I listen, “I know that I know that I know” and, “There was no love in what Alex did”.

I checked back to see what was making Emily quite so insistent. Why’s she so angry with Alex? But I’d missed the full meaning of, “But ‘God Himself’ didn’t like women handling the elements of communion”. So the new patriarch, Alex Farrell, stopped women doing communion? The full, huge significance of The Woman From EARL dawned on me at that moment.

However, Alex Farrell has gone and old Hugh Mainard is back, but the problem is Emily no longer, “believes in anything” and her old friends have turned as cold as the March weather.

I love the dialogue. Daughter Emma: “Does that mean we all have to stop going?”

I like the scene. The kids are strapped into the car, the husband’s gone, and rap is blasting out of the speakers. I could picture Jane Sully and Ida Taylor conferring in the slipstream dust. I like the theme of escape very much. I could hear those tyres smoke.

The loss of Jane and Ida is because their husbands were “brainwashed at the feet of Alex” and they all, “never opened the bible”. Well I could go on and on. The narrative voice is perfect, and I never spotted any know-all author intrusion into what others were thinking. It's all brilliantly done through the eyes of the quite humble and believable Emily. A rare skill. I’m hooked, and I want to see how this develops. Highly rated and on my watchlist.

This comes recommended from my sister Faith Rose. Happy to back it!

...I have dipped in and out of the chapters... Time is not on my side his morning. What I found was writing rich with detail and passion and a welcome unsentimentality. I once aspired to become a priest, but this is so far from my own writing, particularly Slow Poison, which I can only describe as 'godless'.

Your book is now on my watchlist and I'm hoping for some space this weekend to read the story in its entirety.

A giggle or two? Why not!

Hi Georgia,
I liked your second chapter even better than the first. This captures so much of the things that are so important in our lives and shows how hurtful it can be when they're gone. I have the book on my watch list. I'm giving it six stars.

Dear Georgia,
An interesting concept for a story and one which, no doubt, will resonate with many. Very entertaining - I wish you well with it.
Kind regards,
Uncas

Hi Georgia,
I've added your book to my watch list. I hope you will be able to read more of Stopped Cold and back it.

Georgia, I'm here returning a read and comment. I've read through all of chapter 4.
Over all this is very well written. Each POV character has their own distinct voice. So much of this is internal monologue, which isn't usually what I enjoy reading, however your characters are engaging, especially Charlea, which is helpful. This reminds me a little of The Help because Emily is trying to raise awareness about a social issue that is important to her and we are seeing the story from various viewpoints. It makes me wonder if this might read better if instead of the big info dump in chapter one, you actually show us some of the conflict caused by this terrible pastor. That would mean showing, rather than telling, this wonderful back story that you already have in place. This is just a thought, and it all comes down to style, so that has to be your choice. Good luck with this story.

I am so glad to have found this book. I know Emily fully, her feelings her anger and why. I know Charlea and her feelings and why. This is a really well written book with great insight in human thoughts and ways. Sadly ran out of time at chapter 8 cannot promise, but would like to come back for more. I do have an advantage, I carry no baggage, as in I am a dyed in the wool atheist, knowledge when your lights go out that's it finito. 6******

Portraits Of A Small Peasant.

Hi Georgia,
I've read for a ways into your book and could relate to it. You set up a church situation very well, and I'm rooting for Emily to re-connect with her estranged friend and to find the peace she's looking for in the church.

Georgia:

When I first joined the site back in December, I'm pretty sure I backed your book and I know I had it on my W/L. I liked it then and I like it now. I am on chapter 10. I am amazed at the strength of this woman. She has lost her husband, her best friend, her strength from her faith, half her income, and trust in people who SHOULD stand for just that very thing. I have it on my W/L again and I am going to finish it. I think your characters are very real and I am impressed.

The only things I saw that threw me off a little was Chapter 2, last paragraph, fourth line. Chapter 10 when she says he has two bikes on either side of him. Small things. It's excellent.
Shirley

You get into your character's head very well, but I must admit this isn't really the type of fiction I read. I prefer a faster pace, something that veers away from a lot of internal monologue. Though, don't get me wrong, you write well, you know your character well and she is well-rounded and very real with the way in which you present her. So, I'm not sure if a critique from me is very useful as I think you will be aiming at a particular demographic that will connect well with your work. But, I would suggest one thing in relation to the first paragraph and the first line of the second paragraph. It repeats itself about being Sunday and the seasonal description didn't grab my attention. If it was me I'd cut the first paragraph completely, because the next one is a good introduction and it gets the reader right into things, and I did like it.

Hope my comments are helpful, and sorry I couldn't suggest any more. All the best, Marita.

Hello,

Thanks for your comments on my book; I'm glad you're enjoying the read.

I'm also enjoying your read, having finished the first 5 chapters, I find the subject one I definitely sympathize with. Since it looks like you've already received a lot of positive feedback and know your strengths already, I would offer more constructive feedback. Please take only the criticism that helps you move forward--I only wish to help.

Personally, I find the overall narrative a bit too dependent on the internal dialogue of the main character. From everything I've been told about the modern publishing world, the use of internal dialogue is a thing of the past; which means I would like to see more of the same action being "shown" in a different way. For instance, you could create a scene--rife with action and dialouge--set somewhere outside of the church, and use this moment in time as a catalyst to say everything you need to--by the characters actions and mannerisms you can reveal all that you want about the characters without "telling" the readers anything. I realize you have done a quality job of "showing" and not "telling" your characters, but this story reads not as much as a story as someone's journal.

But the strengths are the main character you've created, who as I reader I can't help but feel drawn toward, and want to see where she goes. I like the struggle she is willing to admit, and that makes me curious as a reader to keep reading...

Good work so far!

Hello Georgia. Here is the second half of my read-swap review. Again, I hope you find something useful from my notes.

Chapter 4
- “even when the clothes aren’t gender appropriate” I can see so many people having a problem with that. It’s about gender equality now. Don’t you dare change that line!
- When Emily describes the Pharisee, maybe go into a bit more detail. Maybe have her relate it directly to Alex in her head. Give readers a bit more of a base so they too can know what to look for other than quick phrases.
- The conversation between Emily and Wolfman is very hard hitting. I love the pause before he reveals himself as the woman’s husband. Bring me more into Emily’s head during this conversation and you’ll likely get me bawling. I think that’s what’s missing from this book. I keep saying that scenes need to be flushed out, but it’s Emily who needs to be. Bring me inside her head. Tell me how she’s feeling. Show me how she’s feeling. Maybe there’s a tremble in her hands as she’s typing, her anger over Alex coming back. When she reads about the woman who was taken advantage of, have her cover her mouth in shock. Let me feel her heart break for this poor man and his wife.

Chapter 5
- Oh General Hospital…I love how you bring that in. Those were the last of the really good couples on that show…
- I love Charlea’s description of old age, and God getting us to let go. Wonderful.
- Just when I was starting to like her, she says she likes Lucky. Oh dear.
- You repeat “Now all I need is a computer” twice. Maybe just keep the one in the last paragraph.
- Not much else to say about this chapter.

Chapter 6
- I’ve noticed you haven’t really mentioned Emily not going to church. Maybe you could bring that in, how she gets up for church on Sunday morning like it’s a routine, but she gets back into bed. Make us feel as though there’s a gap.
- You did it! You pulled me into the book, into Emily’s heart so much that I didn’t even think to critique. I’m so glad they took in the puppy. That was so sweet. It’s almost like a legacy, some way to always remember Ted and how he was while he was alive. Very touching. Now bring that feeling into every single chapter.


Georgia, you’re a wonderful writer! I just wish I felt a bit more when I read this. This plot is SO important for people to know about. This absolutely must be shared! I feel as though you’re perhaps taking too much from your personal history and just listing off what happened in the church. Bring more emotion into it. Show me her anger and desperation about the whole Alex situation. Finally, in chapter 6, I truly feel Emily’s grief. I didn’t feel it the other times you mentioned it.

Highly starred and waiting for a place on my shelf! Good job!

God bless.
-Nichole