Graduating The Game: Tribute to An Urban Youth

Intriguing, strong voice. I read all of this over the past couple of days. It's an interesting blend; street-simple concepts walking hand-in-hand with philosophical discussion. A discovery of what "family" is... and isn't.

There are a number of typos but I didn't write them down. It was easier to read over them. I did skim over some of the poetry/rap sections. They seemed well done, but as there were so many of them I found them a bit of a distraction from the story.

My only serious complaint here was that I kept getting Josh and Joey mixed up. The names were so similar I kept forgetting which was which.

EAMARIE: First off, the cover is my favorite one I've seen on this site.
The writer has a very strong command of the language. The book is highly impressionistic and moves back and forth effectively between sem-free form poetry and narrative. Part Rimbaud, Ginsburg, Dylan, Warhol (if he wrote instead of painted).
Favorite line from Intro: "Never a martyr, though toting my cross."
While the intro effectively sets the mood through poetry, part one moves back and forth between flashback narratives and poetry. The mix of these mediums is highly effective in the author's hands. We can feel the pain and the longing for life. A most refreshing work outside of the mainstream. Watchlisted. I'm giving this high stars now. great job! I'll be back for more. Be well
Bob

Why is this not published?????? you have such a unique style, compelling from the start. so evocative and you describe the neuroses of youth perfectly, absolutely love it and feel lucky to have been able to read it on here. Good luck with it, you deserve it, R x

I've never read anything like this on Autho, with this kind of set up. The poem in the beginning is a nice touch, especially since it is original. Many times I see authors using already published poems to set the stage, but I like what you are doing here. There adult audience who enjoy literary fiction is your clear target audience. I think this will resonate with them, however I may not be the best judge as I write for children. I do hope that you see success with this! There is great writing and some really awesome moments, like the use of the flashbacks. 6 stars from me!

Ashley

Hi, I would think it would be easy for a literary agent to sell this. First, you got a great look - I assume that's you in the avatar photo - If an author looks great on TV people will buy the book -audiences are kinda dumb, but you got a good book! I suppose every editor would have his opinions about how to slightly re-shape this book, because it is not perfect. But you have so much material, and so much of it is very usuable. It seems to me this book is 95% to 99% done. Make sure you send 8 by 10 glossies of yourself to agents and publishers. Loved the part about the hot summer days in Cleveland, with the MC in her bikini, eating ice, like the Queen of Sheba - you have lots of similar lines, lots of literary knowledge, and lots of street knowledge, which is great, intriguing, very rare. So it's just a matter of finding the right agent. I think you're close to having to start planning shows and events for your Fan Clubs. So many books on this site would only sell provided the author pulled some really dangerous publicity stunts - but I don't think you need to pull any stunts. You got the look and book. But if you were willing to pull some sort of stunt - nothing dangerous - but something creative and gutsy - you'd sell books in no time. I like the Kerouac influence on you, but how about writing a few long flowing sentences once in a awhile, like Kerouac would - Like I say, I'll bet a lot of people would have opinions about how this could be perfected, but you have to do what you think is best. Good Luck, Bill

Interesting story. I think you should change the pitch as the second pitch doesn't really grab your attention and doesn't do credit to the book. I liked the way you add verse into the prose. It works well and keeps the flow of the story going.

I'm giving you 4 stars.

Shirani

Chocolate Cake Dreams

Hey... I read the first chapter of your book and was really surprised to be so pulled into the story. You have a really particular writing style and its not usually the kind of book I read. The writing reminded me of a French author we have to read in one of my literature class. So when I started reading, I didn't think I would like it, but I did. I'll definitely keep reading when I have time :)