Driving Winds (Raven Tigress Trilogy #1)

Shelby,

I love your story. What I love most is the compact-ness of the plot. Each chapter is short and is framed clearly by its title. The plot moves very well from person to person, so that each conversation develops Adrianna's character a little further. It is said that a reader identifies most with characters who change the greatest throughout a story; Adrianna, the little girl, who becomes the defiant Tigress, models that maxim. I found myself gripped in her struggle to find love and affection. And the interplay between her and Captain Sawhart feeds and satisfies that hunger. I read them more as father/daughter than pirate captain/land lubber. Their relationship makes the setting more humane, since Sawhart doesn't seem like a bloodthirsty pirate who would cut down unexpectedly six sailors, and other carnage. I'm pulled into this story because I want Adrianna to find the love she's seeking, and also because I'm curious to know how she becomes a pirate. On top of all that, what makes the story even more interesting is her personal faith. She is, to say the least, out of her element on a pirate ship in how she expresses herself so openly about God. And this adds to the tension. The hardy sailors above her are forced to reason with the faith of a stern captive who challenges them in every phase of their game, and on every level of their ship. This is a solid work. It has an audience. Keep working on it. As an aside, from my experience as a sailor, saltwater is good for the deck because it helps retain moisture, which in turn swells the planking, which keeps the deck watertight. You wouldn't want to wash the salt away, as mentioned in one of the chapters. Thanks so much for sharing this story. Your hard work has paid off!

Sam Cronin

Thank you to everyone who has backed my book, commented on my book, and encouraged me. Yes, I still need support, but I am grateful for all that has been done.
I am so blessed to have come this far.
This is all God's doing NOT mine. I am nothing without Christ.

Shelby Z./Driving Winds

Driving Winds (Raven Tigress Trilogy #1) is quite a unique take on the traditional pirate’s tale. I think historically, pirates were basically evil, lawless and godless men. But here they have an air of nobility around them, a respect for God and the bible. Obviously this is an attempt by author Shelby Z to create a Christian pirates tale, or a tale of pirates for a Christian audience.

On that score, I think Driving Winds scores highly. I know if I was in a Christian book store, I would for sure pick up Driving Winds. It’s an action adventure tale in its own right, and centering on Adrianna Terrence, who is a great main character. Adrianna is conflicted about her station in life, like many of us confronted with the realities of our situation and our devotion to God, which don’t often mix well.

The story is well-written and the dialog is believable. It’s clear that the author did a lot of research and it shows in how well the story flows.

I think Driving Winds would be number one in the Christian Book market. I think it would be less successful in the general fiction market, but still popular. This is a fun read and a breath of fresh air in the pirate genre. I look forward to seeing how the story continues in future books.

John Breeden II
Old Number Seven

Shelby,
I just wanted to say what a fantastic book this is, and I'm so glad you've let me be a part of this incredible journey. Watching you edit, write, and edit some more, has shown me what a very good writer you are--and a strong one too! :)
I would highly recommend Driving Winds to anyone interested in adventure and some romance. The characters are believable, the setting and intricate detail shows how much research Shelby has done, and the story line is different than anything I've ever read. So go ahead. Read it. I dare you.
I wish you the best of luck, Shelby! You deserve it. This will get published. :)
Keep strong in our Lord,
~Killeen

I usually don't read pirate booksm but it got interesting and I read on. You must have done a lot of resaearch
because it was real down to thenlittle details. My graanddaughter (13) read it along with me and she loved it.
I think ypou have a winner here and will soon be published. Let us know when it comes out. Good luck.

Shelby,

I apologize for how long overdue this is! I recently watched Pirates of the Caribbean because it’s one of my favourite movies, and found my old love for these stories!

Great imagery right at the start, so I hope it continues throughout the story.
Wow. I love this. Highly starred and will be backed when I change around my bookshelf. I have no suggestions. This is really well written and I look forward to reading more!

Amazing job.

Christine Rees
Spark

Shelby,
I don't usually read pirate novels but when a child is involved, the story becomes a lot more compelling. With Driving Winds, i was inthrawlled from the very first chapter, and I'm sorry i took so long to look at this treasure. Without being overwhelming, your faith comes through, true and clear, and i found that very comforting. I ran into a few things that can be easily fixed, but this is just my opinion. If you think they should be left alone, then just ignore me, no big deal :).
"She rubbed her mouth with a gloved hand."
Was she rubbing her chin, lips, or perhaps the side of her face?
"She knew that God was with her all her life, and even in the darkest time of her life, Jessica held onto that promise."
How about: She knew God was with her all her life, and even in the darkest time, Jessica held onto that promise.
"Usually Wesley took more drastic measures to punish the men,"
Usually, Wesley took more drastic measures to punish the men.
"Adrianna knelt down to the captain."
The captain is dead on deck.
Adrianna knelt down beside the captain, would probably sound a bit more appropriate.
Like i said, these are a few things that made me pause when i read. It may just be me, but the critique is sincere. I think life at sea is going to turn Adrianna into a ruthless pirate, but that remains to be seen. I will continue reading, meanwhile, on the strength of the story, i'm giving Driving Winds a lot of stars and place on my shelf.:)
Maria
The Path to Survival

Shelby,

I just read the first three chapters of your story. It has a quick moving plot which keeps the reader wondering what will happen next. The first chapter makes the reader ask a few questions and thus initiates him/her into the story. My main critique is on the writing itself. Just remember when you write that less is oftentimes more. Take it easy on the adjectives and adverbs. Much of the time, they are not necessary. I oftentimes ask myself, whenever I include one, "Is the description more gripping with it, or without it?" Readers are usually able to determine how a character does something if 1: They know the character. 2: There are enough context clues surrounding the description to determine the mood. That is what I would focus on. Try to create the mood by what people say and do, or by symbolism, rather than telling the reader how to think. This puts it on the reader's imagination, which keeps them more engaged in the events going on. Hope this helps.

Mark

I love your book!!! It was so good and I didn't want it to end! I love your Adrianna. She was a precious little girl and it broke my heart to watch her grow up in such a way. It made me incredibly sad to see her broken and filled with so much hate, especially considering all the faith and love she had had. But I think you did a really good job in telling her story, especially how she grows up and changes. Your book shows that a pirate life was not always happy and merry. It wasn't like the movies. It was filled with a lot of pain and death and suffering I think you really showed that in your book. Fantastic job. I can't wait to see what is in store for Adrianna now that she is the captain!!! Your book has really sucked me in and I can't wait to read more!!!

P.S. I am so glad that Mr. Pike was not hanged with the rest of the crew. If he died, I seriously would have cried.

Ali Schanbacher
The Star Maker

Hi Shelby. I've read three chapters thus far. It is impressively clean. Normally I would not have picked up a pirate story, but I am wondering what is going to happen with Mr. Pike (love that name) and Adrianna going forward.

The questions I have are more around marketing. Could this possibly be a young adult book? Are pirates a good Christian substitute for the dark vampires and wolves capitivating youth today? I would think they might be!

I tend to be very minimalistic in both life and writing, so I found some of the descriptive word choices to be overdone- but again it is a stylistic difference. .

You have talent no doubt. Now it comes down to how your query sells your work. Best of luck Shelby!

Stacy G.

Atmospheric first chapter and great story so far. I have now been drawn into this story and need to know Jessica's/Wesley's history. Very well done. On my watchlist and high stars awarded.
Yours Bea

You have a gripping read with added fascinating insight into each character. I am curious how Adrianna becomes set on such course ( most unusual for women of the day) and achieves the title she ultimately claims. The air of humanity you create here sets the pirates in a unique state rather than the usual traditional expectations. A very good read. I wish you the best.

Colleen (Demon Rising, The Symbol of Wrath)

Shelby,
I am up through chapter eight of Driving Winds. This is an interesting tale of a young girl becoming a pirate. I wonder if she will be able to hold onto her young faith on the Godless ship.

I still find the flashbacks in chapter two hard to follow. I see that someone else suggested starting with the attack on Jessica rather than the scene on the shore, and I agree that this would be a more powerful way to open the book. You use flashbacks quite often in the opening chapters, and I wonder if it would be more effective to show the scenes as they happen rather than having Adrianna think about them while staring out to sea.

Point of view shifts often within a scene. I often find third person omniscient hard to follow and hard to become attached to the main character. It is a difficult point of view to pull off well. Third person limited might be a better choice, and then if you want to show different points of view, dedicate an entire scene or chapter to each important character to show how the story unfolds.

There is a lot of telling throughout the story, with a fairly sequential narration of events. I definitely feel as if I'm being told a story rather than living it through the viewpoint if any of the characters. I do not feel emotionally invested in Adrianna's plight because I haven't gotten a sense of her emotions. What pulls me into a story is when I feel emotionally connected to the main character. I have yet to feel that with Adrianna.

I hope this is not taken too harshly, as it is just my opinion and meant to be helpful.
Kate

Shelby

You set a tangible atmosphere in the opening chapter. Your use of description is very good.
I was confused at "Adrianna could feel her mother's slight from tremble with pain"

In chap 2 there is plenty of action when the men arrive at the cottage for Jessica. You can sense Adrianna's fear.
The chapter ends with unanswered questions making the reader want to read on.

Chapter 3 begins at a slow pace in the fog and then suddenly the ship is under fire. This works really well.

I wish you all the best with your book and am starring it for you.

Best wishes
Debbie

Shelby

You set a tangible atmosphere in the opening chapter. Your use of description is very good.
I was confused at "Adrianna could feel her mother's slight from tremble with pain"

In chap 2 there is plenty of action when the men arrive at the cottage for Jessica. You can sense Adrianna's fear.
The chapter ends with unanswered questions making the reader want to read on.

Chapter 3 begins at a slow pace in the fog and then suddenly the ship is under fire. This works really well.

I wish you all the best with your book and am starring it for you.

Best wishes
Debbie

really, really good

Your rewrite is excellent

Narrative is descriptive and flows well. Good build up on character development and tension.
I wonder how much real pirate stories influenced your writing. Black Bart was known to have church on board his ship on Sundays and before going into battle. So Bible carrying plunderers were known to be on the seas. Women pirates especially the ladies of Calico Jack like Mary Bonny always have intrigued me. They were as blood thirsty and organized as the male counterparts. We shall read on and provide a more detailed review.--JL "The Devil Of Black Bayou"

Shelby:
Read several chapters. You have a special talent and it is a good book. High stars from me. I did notice on the first page, you have the word "her" five times in one sentence and I thought that was repetitive. Also when you say "she pushed her messy blonde hair framed (from) her face. At any rate your descriptions are very well done. On my W/L

I like your opening very much. I think the pace works well and your dialogue is believable. One couldn’t but help feel for Adrianna.

In chapter 2, because of the way chapter 1 ended, I had assumed they had left the mother on the shore when they rowed out to the ship, so I think you might need to add something so we know the mother is following in another boat or something.

Beyond that and a few nit pics below I enjoyed your opening two chapters…good luck with this.

CH1

She pushed her messy dark blonde hair framed her small, dirty face. ----- this sentence doesn’t make sense – did you mean she pushed her hair FROM her small, dirty face.

After this she fell back as her eyes closed, as she breathed her last. ---- maybe ‘as she took her last breath’

Clay reached out AND pulled her away from her mother. ----- need and or then or a comma where I put that AND

CH2

A plate OF food sat in the cabin, but she never touched it. ----need of in that sentence

I love this book! I wish I could read more! Very well written!

Melissa

P.s. Once one of the people on my shelf make the desk you'll have a spot on my shelf as well! :)

Shelby,

I am so glad that I returned today! Thank you for bringing me back to your book for another read, it is truly a pleasure and was great for my day! Something I love about Driving Winds is your mastery of description here and just basis of overall story! I can also see the editing you've been doing and it has advanced your book even more than when I first read! I greatly appreciate the people who supported The Ark of Humanity and I'm looking forward to doing full reads of some of my supporter's books! Yours is moving up toward the top of my list and in a month or so I look forward to giving you a full read and commenting on each chapter as I go!

Have a wonderful day! I'll be referring Driving Winds to a friend of mine in hopes that he'll like and back it to give extra support! You're maxed out at 6 stars with me!!! :)

- Scott, The Ark of Humanity, Eden Legacy and Lazarus, Man

Hi Shelby,
This is a great story!
The pace is just right and it's easy to follow :)
I enjoyed what I read so far. Will try and read more soon.
All the best,
Jess :)
Would You Like Brains With That?

A good competent first three chapters each of which was relatively short yet very effective. This isn't a genre of which I have much experience beyond a childhood reading of Treasure Island yet from the section I have read, and the pitch, I would imagine it has all the elements required of a pirate novels plot.
The only very slight criticism I would have is the lack of emotion shown by Adrianna and also the fact that she doesn't appear to question Gods plan when he takes her mother from her at such a tender age. That however is just personal opinion rather than a criticism and she is your character so her personality is yours to create as you wish.
James

Great cover, and convincing pitches. I love the old stories of pirates and adventures on the open seas. I think you've come up with an interesting premise. Good luck with this.

Hi Shelby. First, thanks for backing my little book of Hezekiah.
You have a good idea for a book here. The intro is a bit awkward...in fact the first few chapters seem to begin with a weather report. Also sometimes the name Adrianna is overused rather than a 'she' or 'her' which might keep it flowing. Overall, however, I like what you have done...a mix of action and relationships that could appeal to a wide audience.

What a beautifully written story. Adrianna is a treasure. You have captured such emotion without wasting a word and I commend you on that. You have a unique way in which you tell her story of wanting to be accepted...great read, highly starred...Bravo

I came back for Chapter 2. Very emotional! You do a good job of weaving Adrianna's memories, grief, and the dialogue of the captain and Clay. It keeps things moving and avoids the info dump many writers engage in. I like that Adrianna doesn't fear for herself, but grieves for her mother. The last image -- of Adrianna staring toward the horizon sets the plot for an expansive sea adventure.

Lauri (Lela Markham, The Willow Branch)

Hi Shelby,

Thank you for your beautifully written story. I loved the main character, Adrianna. I never considered women as pirates, but I sure like the idea! This is such a creative way to tell a story of faith. I really enjoyed what I read of it so far, look forward to reading more.

Blessings,
Lyn Ventura
With All My MInd

It's a bit description-heavy at the start, with a particular fondness for colours. Not that you can't paint a picture of what the setting is, but when you do it in a static scene it can read flat and lack pace.

She comes across as weirdly unemotional and detached. You may have done this intentionally to indicate her numb reaction or maybe shock, but again, you're making it feel flat.

A narrative where you describe what's happening form moment to moment isn't a story. In order to have drama you need an opposing force to overcome. This can be a person or an object or whatever, but writing one thing happening after another isn't very engaging.

I'm not sure why you didn't start with the men breaking in and attacking the mother. You can still have the other men turn up and take the girl away, and that start would be more involving. It would help though to have more than a on-sided fight. They turn up and kill the mother. you could make a more interesting confrontation than that I think. How does the mother try to stop them to give the girl time to hide. If they don't like loose ends, what do they do to find the girl who just witnessed them commit murder? How does she avoid getting found (crouching tends not to be that effective).

She says how no one must know about her daughter, but when the men break in she immediately tells them she's his daughter. Not that hard to imagine they might mention it to the mystery guy.

There was a fair deal of clunky ex[position where people say As you know, eight years ago... when people already know something they don't explain it to each other. You need to find a smoother, less obvious way to convey this info to the reader.

The pirates who take the girl seem very well mannered and kind hearted. Hard for me to tell how this will pan out across the whole book, but at the start it made it seem strange. Possibly that will be explained later, but doesn't sit quite right so far. Raping, stealing and killing don't really go with the Christian lifestyle. Historical fiction implies some kind of realism, but hard for me to get a bead on the tone you're going for.

I'd say the writing is fine in terms of readability. The pace is slow and narration feels a bit distant and disconnected. Lacks drama and conflict. By that I mean a scene like when the men break in to kill the mother, there should be some push back. teh end result can be the same, but how you get there matters. If it's too straightforward the story will read simplistic.

Hello Shelby;
This is one of the first books I have read here, where I felt so immediately immersed in the story. The characters are distinctive and well written. I particularly like the main write up and felt that if this was to appear on the back cover of a published book, it would garner an awful lot of attention. Congratulations.
RMA
Sea Spray and Stars

Shelby,

I love your story. What I love most is the compact-ness of the plot. Each chapter is short and is framed clearly by its title. The plot moves very well from person to person, so that each conversation develops Adrianna's character a little further. It is said that a reader identifies most with characters who change the greatest throughout a story; Adrianna, the little girl, who becomes the defiant Tigress, models that maxim. I found myself gripped in her struggle to find love and affection. And the interplay between her and Captain Sawhart feeds and satisfies that hunger. I read them more as father/daughter than pirate captain/land lubber. Their relationship makes the setting more humane, since Sawhart doesn't seem like a bloodthirsty pirate who would cut down unexpectedly six sailors, and other carnage. I'm pulled into this story because I want Adrianna to find the love she's seeking, and also because I'm curious to know how she becomes a pirate. On top of all that, what makes the story even more interesting is her personal faith. She is, to say the least, out of her element on a pirate ship in how she expresses herself so openly about God. And this adds to the tension. The hardy sailors above her are forced to reason with the faith of a stern captive who challenges them in every phase of their game, and on every level of their ship. This is a solid work. It has an audience. Keep working on it. As an aside, from my experience as a sailor, saltwater is good for the deck because it helps retain moisture, which in turn swells the planking, which keeps the deck watertight. You wouldn't want to wash the salt away, as mentioned in one of the chapters. Thanks so much for sharing this story. Your hard work has paid off!

Sam Cronin

Hello Shelby, I enjoyed your work. I felt like I was there. The description was great. "her eyes the shade of peridots gems." Love it. I felt the story was engaging. I certainly wanted to know who the daughter needed to be protected from.

Patricia

This is good read. You have a strong lead character and made it easily to believe she ha to grow-up way before her time. I am entering this without looking at any other comments. The biggest problem I saw were a lot of grammatical errors. A lot of missppellings that a computer would not notice. I am a fan of pirate/buccaneer stories, but it is very difficult to find Christian books. Can't to get to finish the story.

I'm reading some more of your story today...The writing is easy to understand and flows unhindered from point A to point B. I just have a few things to mention about chapters 4 and 5.
In chapter 4, you have an opportunity to add a lot of emotion; there's so much there to work with. We hear a lot about "appealing to the senses"; I think you could add some "sound effects". A battle at sea is very noisy; cracking, crashing timbers, yelling men, gunfire...put a little more of that in.
In chapter five, the final paragraph is perfect and very poignant.
~Hannah

Shelby,
I love your book you have such a flowing style and I can picture things in my mind as you describe them. A very pleasant style that keeps a reader wanting more and I love the characters. The way you have woven your faith into this tale is truly amazing.
I can hardly wait to read more. Thank you for what you have shared and I pray for you in your Christian walk and your writing. A full boat of stars! In Christ,
Crayton

Hi shelby,
I am finally getting the chance to read your book as I have so many on my list. Your story pulled me in right away with your very specific descriptions of the beauty that the reader finds themselves in.
The breeze rustled the scawny twigs, only death could be so silent and eerie just sets the mood for want of more!
I can tell this going to quite an adventure as We have mystery right off the bat with dying mother, Godly advise regarding men to the daughter and the introduction of the locket!! Also compelling as the pirates appear to be gentle and companionate . Refreshing and well written. Realistic and believable dialogue. Highly starred. Andon my watch list,
Mary Ann, Agent H

Thank you to everyone who has backed my book, commented on my book, and encouraged me. Yes, I still need support, but I am grateful for all that has been done.
I am so blessed to have come this far.
This is all God's doing NOT mine. I am nothing without Christ.

Shelby Z./Driving Winds

Driving Winds(Raven Tigress Trilogy)

I couldn't get over how beautifully this was writen. Afer reading the story was about pirates in the pitch, I didn't expect such wonderful prose.
It is such a very interesting storyline, interesting characters and vivid imagery.
It was very emotional at the beginning and it left me wondering who Adrianna 's father was and where the locket her mother gave her origionally came from.
I think this is a book which will keep the reader guessing for quite some time. Definitely a page turner.
Highly starred.
Junetee
FOUR CORNERS,book one.The Rock Star.

Hi, Shelby: Finally, room on my bookshelf to put your book. I'm honored to back such a precious first installment of a trilogy for young people. My prayers and blessings are with you as you head to the top of the list! Pat

Shelby
I have only read the first two chapters so far, but I feel compelled to read on. I think you have the makings of a great story here. You have set the sceen well with your discriptions and make the reader want to find out what happens next. This is exactly what a good book should be. Well done. Highly starred for now. It would be on my WL but I am having problems with the site here and I cannot get things done as I would like.
Good luck and best wishes
Brian.

Dear Shelby: If your whole trilogy is as readable as this first book, it will be a winner! I love eight-year-old Adrianna. Your descriptions of what happened to her as well as her circumstances (the pirate ship, her adoptive father, and how brave and quick-learning she was) make her a very real person. I'm certain any age readers, but especially young readers, will enjoy your book immensely - in fact, I'd like to have a copy of your trilogy to give to some teens in my family. It was on my bookshelf for quite a while but has just recently been replaced to give a few other good books some recognition. I wish you the best with your trilogy and hope to hear that it has been published! Blessings, Pat

Hello, Shelby! I'm here for our read-swap. I have to admit, I was intrigued by a Christian pirate novel with a woman as the MC. I've only read the pitch and the first chapter -- I comment one chapter at a time because it keeps me on track.

Being a history buff, I know that pirates were often just merchants who refused to pay the king's duties and sometimes ran contraband that wasn't really all that evil, so it wasn't that much of a stretch to see them acting in gentlemanly ways. Afterall, John Hancock was essentially a pirate and he was an American founding father.

You definitely know how to hook the reader with a lot of emotion and interesting characters right up front. I will be back to read another couple of chapters.

Lauri (Lela Markham, The Willow Branch)

Great visuals there at the beginning with the sunlight fading as Jessica's life ebbs away. I

Hi Shelby,
I’m here for our read swap. So sorry it’s taken me this long to get here. Below are my findings/comments. They are of course my humblest opinions, so please take them for whatever they’re worth and feel free to disregard what you disagree with.
Part 1
“cold foreboding” separate sequenced adjectives with commas.
Is pink a fiery color? I’ve never seen pink fire. I’d suggest dropping the fiery part and just leaving it to turning colors of pink and gold. If you wanted to emphasis its intensity, you could say something like an immaculate pink and gold, or something like that. Just something to consider.
“…and silence lay over the countryside like a heavy blanket muffling any sound.” Not sure this imagery works. Silence is the lack of sound. Silence doesn’t muffle sound. Something muffling sound causes silence. Also, I’m having a hard time visualizing silence “laying.”
You say silence/silent multiple times in those first couple paragraphs. It gets a little distracting. Consider revising a little.
“She sadly gazed back down at her mother.” This is sort of crossing the border of telling as opposed to showing. Consider deleting “sadly” and showing and expression or gesture that makes it clear to the reader she’s sad. Might make it more impactful and meaningful that way.
You have strong dialogue, but I might suggest whittling down on your use of ellipses. Overdone, they can sometimes be distracting.
This is a solid start. The biggest strength of this chapter is the characters. You do a great job of developing them and your MC is likable and relatable. That’s huge. My biggest suggestion is to continue scrubbing with a keen eye on your imagery. Think about what works and what might be forced. You want your imagery to be easy to understand and not leave the reader open to having to interpret. Imagery is meant to enhance the story, not distract from it. If the reader has to overthink to understand what the description is saying, then they’re not focused on the plot. Just something to consider.
A great story, though. I’m drawn in and it has all the elements of being something wonderful. Best of luck.
Phil
(Deshay of the Woods)

Greetings!

I've read through about half of the story so far. It is interesting with a good plot, but there were two key things that held me back from really getting thrown into it. First thing was Adrianna's age. You describe her as a young child -- 8, if I recall correctly - however, I didn't get a vibe of that young of an age. 12, 13, maybe 14, but not 8. Her reactions were just far too mature for me to believe. You got across her feelings of shock very well, though.

The second thing that bothered me was the head hopping. Throughout, I kept getting the feeling that the POV was skipping around the the major characters, which made it very hard for me to settle behind any one of them.

That said, the premise here is very interesting; there is a lot to like, including an interesting and diverse group of characters. The pace is very quick, which is just perfect for a piratey action adventure. Your descriptions are pretty good and I had no problems feeling like the characters were on a ship throughout.

I hope that my comments are of use to you. Good luck with this!

~RJ

You may want to limit the use of "her" in your character descriptions. This pronoun makes 15 appearances in the 3rd paragraph.

A riveting first chapter. Well written and well described. Your characters are believable and the reader feels for Adrianna and her mother. Brilliant dialogue, too. Well done with this, highly starred and i wish you all the best with it.

Shelby, high stars.
Love the cover.
Pitch is pitch perfect. Hit all the right notes. I like your young heroine, such a plight. I will have to keep you watchlisted until I can read more. Have to learn the back story of the woman and child who would experience such a fate, a mother stabbed --why? Big hook for me.
Like that you've called it a pirate/Christian novel. Curious to see how that works out.
The writing is smooth, no jarring grammar or punctuation errors. Pacing a little slow, hope it picks up in later chapters.
Good luck on your writing,
Janet
The Milche Bride
Clarissa's Kitchen

Shelby. I like your book - in my view a good mix of scene and mood setting, plot construction and suspense

Hey Shelby! I just read the first 3 chapters of your book, and they are really good! So good that I have backed your book, and it is now on my bookshelf! :)

Your descriptions of the environment and the characters make readers feel like they are actually aboard the ship. I could actually picture sad, little Adrianna with pigtails in her hair as she watched her mother speak her last words. It was heartbreaking to "watch" Adrianna struggle to understand what was going on; the memories she had of her mother teaching her about God was touching, too. As a Christian, I am glad you incorporated the Lord in your book. Us Christians have adventures, too! ;)

All-in-all, I really enjoy your book so far! Can't wait to read more and see how Adrianna handles life on the sea!

A return read - I've worked through a couple of chapters and can see no major issues with punctuation, typos etc. What I would recommend is taking a good look at POV - it's all meant to be from Adrianna's POV but there are certain words and phrases that a 7 year old child wouldn't use (the colour of her mother's eyes as some kind of gem, for instance - even I don't know what that gem was!) When that happens, it becomes Tell and not Show. Generally - I'm not keen on opening chapters where chunks are given over to describing the hero/heroines physical description, or where backstory is so obviously dropped in.

On the whole, an easy going read.
Stacey (Agoraphobics Anonymous / Hospital Corners)

This is a unique plot to many Christian novels I've read.
Very dramatic and descriptive vision of the sea.
I've read a lot of Chrisian books, and loved the drama in yours.
I think it would do very well in the world of Christian readers.

Nice job.

Morgan H.

This is the type of book i have been looking for, so much like the type of book i like. I'm a huge fan of Bernard Cornwell and this reminds me of his writings. I will be keeping this on my wl. A sad start but still a good read. Thank you for asking me to read this.