Book Jacket

 

rank 297
word count 53883
date submitted 05.11.2011
date updated 25.05.2012
genres: Fiction, Historical Fiction, Histor...
classification: universal
complete

Slave to Grace

Joyce Fox

The chains of slavery weigh heavily and Onesimus wants nothing more than his freedom, but freedom comes in unexpected ways.

 

Sold into slavery to pay for his father's foolishly wasteful spending,Onesimus finds life as a slave especially hard. His memories of his own treatment of slaves compare badly to the treatment he receives at the hands of his Christian master,Philemon. But when he is falsely accused of theft and cannot prove his innocence,he can't believe his punishment will be any less than what he would have meted out in his own household. Filled with fear, he steals a purse of money and runs away, planning to leave Greece and lose himself in the crowded streets of Rome.
On the way, he hears stories of Paul, who survived the bite of an adder but insists he is only a man, not a god.
When Onesimus finally meets Paul, he finds himself attracted not only to the man, but to the God he serves. After studying with Paul a while,Onesimus goes back to Philemon to "make his paths straight." Adventures and miracles along the way abound.Will Philemon accept him back or sell him? Will his fellow-slaves welcome him? What of the "girl he left behind?" Is there happiness in store for Onesimus or will sorrow be his lot?

 
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tags

adventure, ancient christians, biblical fiction, freeedom, runaways, slavery, st paul

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Dianna Lanser wrote 54 days ago

Final CLF review

Joyce,

Slave to Grace is the journey all those who trust in Jesus have taken. Like Onesimus we once were slaves, owing a debt we couldn’t possibly pay. But Jesus our substitute sufferer extended his scarred hand and offered forgiveness and grace, just like Philemon did for Onesimus.

Joyce, your book is not just a Bible story embellished. It is a tool to show how far the mercy and love of God will extend. It shows the drastic measures He takes to pursue the most seemingly insignificant soul. And it shows how He is able to take that humble life and make it into something that brings honor and glory to his name.

Your book starts out strong in its creativity, clean prose, and wonderful detailed explanations of Biblical times, and it stays consistent through out the entire manuscript. Here’s an example of the continued excellence I found: “The man’s face was the color of wool that had been washed with fuller’s soap.”

I don’t know what chapter it’s in, but if you didn’t explain it earlier in your book, it might be helpful to describe what an icthus looks like.

Although the chapters leading up to Onesimus’ arrival in Ephesus were enjoyable to read as Onesimus sets things straight with his new friends, I‘m wondering if you could build up some tension as his reunion with Philemon looms closer. Maybe have some rumors flying of ominous actions on Philemon’s part that may set the reader and Onesimus on edge - have something that really tests his faith and his resolve. Everything is going so good - his prayers are effective for healing, all his relationships are smooth, but let’s see him stumble and doubt a little like the rest of us do, and then show him overcoming once again to finally receive his reward of grace and love.

Congratulations on a wonderful completed manuscript. This is such a big undertaking - one you can be proud of!

Dianna Lanser

James Workman wrote 69 days ago

Joyce--Thank you for writing this. You do it very well and are bringing one of the shortest books of the Bible to life. I could read this to the end. You are on my watchlist and have high stars. Keep it up.

A minor bit of critique for CLF will follow in a message.

James Workman
Christopher Hitchens At Heaven--Atheist Meets Jesus
authonomy.com/books/41994/christopher-hitchens-at-heaven-atheist-meets-jesus/


faith rose wrote 70 days ago

Dear Joyce,

I am so happy to return to this piece for another CLF review. I picked up in chapter five today, and I felt as if I was revisiting an old friend.

The description of the early Church on The Lord's Day gives me chills. Oh how I wish our modern Church lived this way! The spirit of prayer and praise of Philemon is contagious. His "joyful shout" and friendship with Priscus is heartwarming. The genuine care for others, without class distinction, is such a source of inspiration. I loved reading the immediate responses of brothers and sisters to extend care, not just prayer (ie: "Come stay with us, Zoe!").

As Onesimus observes these tangible examples of care and love, it reminds me of how others (outside the Church) must be watching us. It breaks my heart to think of what they oftentimes see instead of love.

This is such a special, vital book for our Church today. We deeply need the wisdom and truth you have so beautifully written here. I will read on, truly hoping to have my very own hard copy of this someday.

All the very best,
Faith Rose
Now To Him

AudreyB wrote 150 days ago

I read three chapters and I love it!! I am naturally drawn to stories that explore and elaborate on what we read in the Bible, and this one does not disappoint. I could imagine this book gaining mainstream acceptance for its imagery and writing.

I especially like how you create dialog that seems faithful to the era. I noticed only one phrase--you used 'a lot' once--that sounded modern. But just the once.

Best wishes to you!
~AudreyB
Forgiveness Fits

Dr. J wrote 9 hours ago

Joyce, I never realized how significant and beautiful the book of Philemon was until I read "Slave to Grace." God has given you a real gift, Joyce, in writing and this is a marvelous book - soooooo much better than all the commentaries I have on books of the Bible. What amazes me is that "Slave to Grace" reads like a warm, wonderful love story - and of course what I'm feeling as I read it is the pure love of God through your writing.

Let me point out some things that touched me greatly:
The full bodied characters which you developed in Onesimus, Philemon, Justin, Paul, etc.
Ch. 2 - the beautiful imagery of the fields
Ch 3 - the details which made the Scripture live: the second roof, the accounting system, and, oh, the food!
Ch. 4 - the camaraderie between Philemon and the slaves making them a true family
Ch. 6 - the description of how the bitterness of Onesimus toward his brother consumed Onesimus
Ch. 7 - the sweet awakening of Onesimus' faith and the appearance of the dove
Ch. 8 - the pain of the situation that led Onesimus to run away
Ch. 9 - the contrast between caring, good slaveowners and the brutal ones ("R" branding)
Well, I could go on and on, but, my favorite chapter was Ch. 15 and the meeting with Paul.
Yep, Joyce, God selected you to write this book. It should be on every Christian's bookshelf!

Brian Bandell wrote 3 days ago

Your talented writing shines through in Chapters 2 and 3. I like Onesumus and it is interesting to see him led into his slavermaster's house. There are points when I'd like to get inside his head a bit more to see his dispair at becoming a slave or his bitterness at being chosen by his father to be sold. The fact that Philemon is so nice makes it hard to feel too sorry for Onesimus, initially, at least. I know where you are going, it's just that things soo too easy for him at the beginning. Perhaps he should experience more fear and mistrust, which would make since given that his father betrayed him.

Chapter 1 didn't really work for me. A letter like that should be a hook that makes the reader feel compelled to read on.

You have something good in the works here, so I will back it.

Good luck,

Brian Bandell
Mute

ccbarmysgt wrote 5 days ago

Joyce,
What a clever Idea and powerful. Your use of the bible and then adding a story about the slaves life. As many times as I have read that I never once thought about that slave's past. I always focused on how much he had meant to Paul.This is a very good and well written book. Contains all our core values we should have as Christians.God Bless, Crayton

Su Dan wrote 9 days ago

great book about some early christians. you bring those days to life. A must read for EVERYONE...
BACKED...
SIX STARS******
READ ''SEASONS''

James Workman wrote 13 days ago

Joyce--I read 10 and 11 for the first time (skipped some of the middle in the schedule crunch before). Very good writing to fill in Onesimus's journey. I want this to be published.

Question--Do you really want Philomena to be only 3' tall? This made me stop reading and look up dwarfism on the internet. I'm not sure you want to throw readers quite such a surprise. And there doesn't seem to be a reason to insert that.

11--I don't think ships at dock "lie at anchor." I believe anchors are for parking out in the harbor. At dock they are tied up tight against "bumpers" (not sure what the ancient name is for these).

Best wishes,

Jim

Dianna Lanser wrote 16 days ago

Chapter nine review

Hi Joyce,

Oh boy, it’s been awhile since I read this. Let’s see if I can pick out the changes:

One is the joke “My backbone’s going to rub a hole in my belly…”

Was one when he spotted one of Philemon’s slaves? And the fat man… and brother rat and sister beetle… and having serious doubts and wanting to turn around and go back home.

Was the night in the woods new too?

If they aren’t I must not have been paying close enough attention the first time around.

I do remember the feeling I had when Onesimus laid eyes on the port of Ephesus and how it sprawled like a brazen woman. It was one of wonderment that something so modern could exist in Biblical times.

Did you change up the first two paragraphs too? I noticed that the word “up” is used three times in those paragraphs. “He was almost ready to give it (up).” I don’t think you need “it” in that sentence. And then “The next day saw him (up) and traveling as the sun came (up)…” I won’t suggest any words, the wordworker is fully capable of coming up with something original..

Where did you come up with the name Kiffien? I love it.

Joyce, I am still so impressed with your story and the way that you write. You are very gifted. I hope this will come into the hands of a very enthusiastic agent or publisher soon.

Dianna Lanser
Nothing But The Blood

PTingen wrote 16 days ago

Joyce,

I like your ch. 9 additions! I think you captured his sense of desperation and hunger well. A few typos perhaps.

watched to road - should it be "the" instead?

"Excuse me but..." seems like it should be separated into 2 sentences (period between brother and I.) Unless you're trying to show that he was talking really fast and kind of breathless.

Anyway - I like the changes!

Patti

Gail Pallotta wrote 17 days ago

I like the way this takes me into Biblical times with a modern day story. The writing makes the scenes easy to relate to. At the same time, the reader's learning about the lifestyles of masters and slaves. In only the first few chapters the contrast between treatment of Philomon who loved God and other slave owners has been made.
I commend you for writing this. We need more books like this one.
Highly starred.
I have a teen sports mystery, Stopped Cold. I hope you'll come by to read some of it and that you'll be able to support it with a comment, stars, watch list or backing.

patio wrote 17 days ago

wow, this is a story and a half. wow, dark but delightful

Wanttobeawriter wrote 21 days ago

SLAVE TO GRACE
This is an interesting story. I like the way you begin with a letter; a good way to introduce back story and what a strong movement was early Christianity. Philemon is well sketched out as a character: eager to follow Christianity to his core, but not aware owning slaves is a sharp contrast to those rules. Onesimus is a very sympathetic character; he’s obviously never had a happy life being “a spare” to his brother (made me think of Prince Harry) and it’s not likely his life as a slave will get any better. You’ve obviously done a lot of research to write this; Highly starred and added to my shelf. Wanttobeawriter: Who Killed the President?

Peter Sidebotham wrote 31 days ago

What an amazing book. I have thoroughly enjoyed reading every word. Joyce has managed to take a simple character who receives a cursory description in two short paragraphs in one of the shortest books in the Bible, and turn him into a very real, lovable human being who is touched by grace. This is retelling the Bible as it should be retold, with homour, emotion and insight. My one reservation is that Onesimus' return journey is just too good. While I love the excitement of amazing miracles and enthusiastic witness, this does seem very far removed from the reality of most of our Christian journeys. I wonder whether, for Onesimus too, it might not all have worked out? Perhaps he may not have seen all his prayers answered, or found all his hearers receptive to the gospel? But perhaps this is the way God intends it to be and maybe we need reminding of that. Either way, I love the way you sign off, with the promise and challenge of an ongoing walk in the light of Grace.

revrspoon wrote 33 days ago

wow, your book grabbed me immediately It is both historical and accurate yet enjoyable to read.

HGridley wrote 38 days ago

Hi, Joyce. At last I am reading your book...tonight I've read the preface and the first chapter. I had lots of thoughts; it's great how you have begun this story. The first chapter sets up a great story, with tons of potential for your possible storylines.
Preface: I’m not sure what version you used here; I’m assuming either The Message or The Living Bible. I don’t have a copy of either (well, to be exact, I’ve lost my copy of TLB), so I can’t be sure. Put another line at the bottom of the quotation to let readers know what it is. It's very effective in this setting. It’s a great way to begin your book. I also love how you changed the font to a script for Paul’s guarantee.
~Hannah

AudreyB wrote 44 days ago

Wow! I dropped in at chapter 18 and before I knew it, had finished the entire story. I like the lengths of your chapters. Each time I reached the end of one, that little voice within said, "You'll have time for just one more..."

If anything, I hungered for more information about the sights and sounds of Ephesus. As Onesimus embarked on his journey, traveled, and spent time on the ship, I wondered what he could see, hear, and smell. I wondered about the other people on the ship. I don't think you can provide too many details in these scenes.

I apologize for not providing my CLF review during the right timeframe. This new job soaks up all my time.

~AudreyB

krose wrote 45 days ago

This book comes highly recommended by my sister Faith Rose! I'm happy to put it on my shelf and plan to keep it for a nice long stay.

KathyJohn wrote 47 days ago

This is wonderful! WL'd til I have some room!

Grey Muir wrote 54 days ago

Hi Joyce,
Chapter 15 ends with an admonition to “…don’t wait too long…” Sweet. A good suggestion to a non-believer.

I like the way you had Paulus add in the enigma of predestination versus free will. I just finished a study of Romans not long back and the predestination discussions were a gem. Just as Paulus, I see no dichotomy, but others do.

I liked Onesimus’ miracles and was glad the way it ended. It is an excellent way to share the good news

Dianna Lanser wrote 54 days ago

Final CLF review

Joyce,

Slave to Grace is the journey all those who trust in Jesus have taken. Like Onesimus we once were slaves, owing a debt we couldn’t possibly pay. But Jesus our substitute sufferer extended his scarred hand and offered forgiveness and grace, just like Philemon did for Onesimus.

Joyce, your book is not just a Bible story embellished. It is a tool to show how far the mercy and love of God will extend. It shows the drastic measures He takes to pursue the most seemingly insignificant soul. And it shows how He is able to take that humble life and make it into something that brings honor and glory to his name.

Your book starts out strong in its creativity, clean prose, and wonderful detailed explanations of Biblical times, and it stays consistent through out the entire manuscript. Here’s an example of the continued excellence I found: “The man’s face was the color of wool that had been washed with fuller’s soap.”

I don’t know what chapter it’s in, but if you didn’t explain it earlier in your book, it might be helpful to describe what an icthus looks like.

Although the chapters leading up to Onesimus’ arrival in Ephesus were enjoyable to read as Onesimus sets things straight with his new friends, I‘m wondering if you could build up some tension as his reunion with Philemon looms closer. Maybe have some rumors flying of ominous actions on Philemon’s part that may set the reader and Onesimus on edge - have something that really tests his faith and his resolve. Everything is going so good - his prayers are effective for healing, all his relationships are smooth, but let’s see him stumble and doubt a little like the rest of us do, and then show him overcoming once again to finally receive his reward of grace and love.

Congratulations on a wonderful completed manuscript. This is such a big undertaking - one you can be proud of!

Dianna Lanser

Emma.L.H. wrote 54 days ago

Hi, Joyce. I read five chapters and absolutely loved it. Your descriptions are brilliantly vivid and I love some of your phrases, particularly ...as trustworthy as rotted rope... You have a way with words that makes reading your work a pleasure. It flows beautifully and one almost becomes lost when reading! I didn't spot any errors; it's very well polished and at a publishable standard. Great job with this and good luck!

Peter Sidebotham wrote 56 days ago

ch 8 - my one criticism Joyce. This seems to be too rushed. the overall plot is good and the concept fine, but it just seems to happen too quickly. In the space of one chapter to go from exploring grace and hoping to be rid of bitterness and so on, to stealing and running away. I felt it needed just a bit longer for Onesimus to brood, for a bit more to develop in the way he and Philemon relate to each other, something to show that Philemon was being gracious but Onesimus was interpreting it differently?

Peter Sidebotham wrote 56 days ago

Ch 7. I really love the way you bring in the reading of Paul's letter and exhortation on it. That seems so natural and brings a freshness to the words, just as I imagine they would have been at the time.

HECROW55 wrote 56 days ago

I have just completed the entire manuscript. It was such a wonderful undertaking in an attempt to flesh out one of the shortest books in the Bible, Philemon. I found the story to be very relevant to the time setting and traditions of the period following so close to the life of our Lord and Savior. Though it is a work of fiction, it also could be very close to what really happened in the matter of the runaway slave from his masters house. I believe that this story would be well received by the christian community in that it could be a great story to share with both adults and children alike.

The symbolism of the bound slaves break for freedom of fleshly bondage, but yet the inward bondage of anger, lost, and guilt about the fleeing are presented in a most pleasant and understandable telling of his story through past memories, dreams, and regrets. It is a great representation of all who seek to free themselves from their circumstances by their own imaginations but remain in the bondage of the lies that have to be told, not only to others but themselves also, to conceal their true identities from those they meet.

The guidance of the spirit towards true freedom is also well represented in this work. Beginning with the dove, a universal sign of peace and the Holy Spirit, brushing its wingtip against the chest of the main character. The continue light touch of the Spirit is well done as Onesimus encounters believers in the new faith known as The Way during his flight.

The introduction of Paul into the story is also a great piece of writing. First in his letter to the Galatians being read in a service. Then the story of his shipwreck an encounter with the deadly viper being placed neatly within the story drawing both Onesimus and the reader towards the eventual meeting of the two on the journey to Rome. Both men are in bondage, but it is Paul who first releases Onesimus from his spiritual guilt bondage by the knowledge of the saving grace of our Lord. Paul's bondage from being a prisoner of Rome could be viewed as God's presenting him with the same freeedom that he had given to the runaway slave.

Paul's writing of the letter with help of a young Timothy is also well placed. It begins the journey that Onesimus must make back to where he came from to be reconciled with his master Philemon. Along the way, he reconciles with those he had lied to during his flight show us just how we must also seek to make amends others we may have offended in our own feeble run from grace. The parable of the prodigal son is well represented in the concluding chapters.

I would highly recommend this book to all who wish to gain a greater understanding of just what a true repentance is all about. Not just a turning back or changing of ones mind, but a desire to learn more about the One True God of Israel and of us all.

6*s and Shelved

Offered in the Love of Christ,
Harold

Dianna Lanser wrote 57 days ago

CLF Review

Joyce,

I read chapter 15 through 22 tonight and am enjoying all the things that Onesimus is experiencing. Your insight is remarkable and believable - from how an ancient home garden is set up, to how people form and travel in caravans is all presented with wonderful detail.

Chapter 15. Onesimus meets Paul! The challenge that Paul places in front of Onesimus is very moving and urgent, and I believe it will speak to many of your readers.

The chapter starts out with Onesimus in the future looking back. I wasn’t sure if you have done that before, but it certainly changes the voice as if someone other than Onesimus is telling the story. If you’ve done that in the earlier chapters that’s fine. But if this is the first time, it may take the reader by surprise.

Onesimus is learning so much and seeing God work through Paul. I love the fact that you show Paul living out his faith in such practical ways: trusting God for safety, provision, freedom and life - and relying on the Holy Spirit for guidance. This I’m sure will be an encouragement to new Christian’s who read your book.

Chapter 19 - In the second paragraph I think it might read better if you switched the names around. “He (Onesimus) hated to admit it, but Onesimus (he) was jealous.”

Chapter 21 - Paul’s prayer for Onesimus is beautiful.

Chapter 22 - I loved the feeling of excitement you created as the caravan left Rome. I could really sense the the fun - almost like going on vacation.

I’m looking forward to seeing how you envision Onesimus’ reunion with Philemon. Until next time…

Dianna Lanser
Nothing But The Blood

Jane Catherine wrote 57 days ago

Hi Joyce,
When someone gives us a time machine to fly back and hear the sounds, feel the fears, and participate in the daily colourful lives of what could have been our friends, that makes a very good book. After reading chapter 14, I'm so impressed with what you've done. Grammatically correct as far as I can see, your dialogue fits the historical period very well. What a great way to share Christian standards with those who haven't any mentors. Highly starred and now on my shelf.
"The Celestial Proposal: Dare we Join the God-kind?"

Dianna Lanser wrote 59 days ago

Hi Joyce,

I just wanted to send a comment your way before I head to bed. I am really enjoying the story as it is unfolding. Chapter 13 did such a great job foreshadowing Onesimus’ meeting with Paul. You are doing a wonderful job convincing me that you are an expert on Biblical times and although the people are from ancient times, you have a remarkable way of making them sound so contemporary and relatable. Here’s some notes I took as I read. I’ll read more of your awesome book tomorrow!


Chapter 11

“These same thoughts had been wandering around… The night he had had (he’d had ) to make friends…”

Wonderful sense-around descriptions of the sea and ship.

The last sentence seemed a little awkward. “… unless you aren’t.” It left me thinking, “aren’t what?”

Chapter 12

The sailor talk added a lot of authenticity: hardtack, everything was secured for the coming blow, fair following sea

The end of this paragraph reads a little awkward too. “But the morning of the third day… but also his belly and his belly had given up…” Maybe split this in two. “…but also his belly. It had given up…“

Chapter 13

Although you clearly explain the story of Paul’s miracles during the last part of this chapter, I thought the paragraph toward the beginning of the chapter that speaks about the ship running aground and the man/god being bitten by a viper seemed a little disconnected. In the first paragraph the man is near a fire when he’s bit and then the very next paragraph talks about the captain of the ship wanting to take lifeboats. It was just a little confusing to figure out how they fit together.

I loved the excitement Onesimus felt when he heard that Paul was a Christian like Philemon - perhaps it was a feeling of coming home - a chance to be treated kindly again.

Chapter 14

“One more voyage and he would be ready… where he felt surely (sure) he could get…”

Dianna Lanser
Nothing But The Blood

Walt Bridges wrote 59 days ago

Joyce, The book is a fantastic read, and I must tell you I did not really even consider many of the things you stated almost as fact to ever be an issue to me the reader. Moving walls, accounting, were just all nicely woven into the story which I realized was fiction based on many Biblical truths.

It would be like someone describing the technology of How the Pyramids were built, and if it made sense in a fictional setting I would never question whether it were possible or not. Great Job, and Great Book!

Respectfully Walt

HECROW55 wrote 59 days ago

Hey Joyce,

I have read through chap 14 now and still enjoying Onesimus' journey towards salvation and freedom. As I stated in the Christian Lit Forum where you have the dove (a universal symbol of peace) landing on O's foot then the tip of its wings brushing against O's chest as it takes off is great symbolism of how Christ's gentle touch on someone's heart is all it takes to instill the urge to learn more of Him. You continue this brilliantly with The Way, which is what the movement was called before christian, keeps brushing into O's life as he makes his flight from bondage to freedom.

Just reached the part where Paulus' (Paul's) shipwreck and encounter with the viper is being told. Excellent way to introduce the coming meeting of the two wayfaring strangers which, of course, was their destiny in the Lord.

Looking forward to the rest of the story. Will comment further later. Will also BS starting next month.

Offered in the Love of Christ,
Harold

Grey Muir wrote 60 days ago

Hi Joyce,
I picked up your story from the Christian Lit forum. Thank you for allowing the group to read you work. I have only a few comments as the story is written well.

Your characters tell the story well. They seem very realistic and believable. Your descriptions are clear and paint vivid scenes. I am very curious as to whether your information about Philemon was totally historically accurate, partially historically accurate, or just very good fiction.

Onesimus and Appollonia have a good relationship forming.

I liked the historical appropriate fact like at the olive presses and the game ofTali and Tropa.

In chapter five, when Pricius meets with Onesimus after the worship and some of the discussions, Onesimus uses the word, “fine” at the start of a paragraph. This seems like a modern term and possibly out of sync. There are a few other “modern seeming words” scattered here and there. Nothing that is too distracting, but something to consider and be aware of. The story is very good.

Also in chapter 5,”…the God Who had brought him…” I believe that “Who” should be lower case.

In chapter 7, I realized what an excellent platform you have made to share the Letter to the Galatians. You weave it in well. It is done a bit more than I would maybe, but it is a very ingenious way to spread the good news. I am enjoying your story and feeling quite sympathetic with Onesimus. Nice end to chapter 7,by the way.

Thank you for posting your story and letting us enjoy your labor. I hope to comment on some subsequent chapters later.

coCinstrumental wrote 60 days ago

I like that you portray Philemon as not really wanting a slave or trusting the seller but at the same time needdcing one. You do good with descriptions and it''s nice to see him as a true Christian slave owner not the so-called Christian slave owners of america before Civil War ended.

Lacydeane wrote 60 days ago

I love what you did to this story. It is very good. And you are a very good writer. I saw no mistakes. In fact, every line flowed perfectly. The story was interesting and easy to read.
My favorite book is the Bible so I really enjoyed what you did with this Bible story. Very impressive.
Good job. Lacy

Kerrie Price wrote 60 days ago

Hi Joyce,
I've just read five chapters and was immediately caught up in the story. Your characters and descriptions of the scenes and settings feel real and alive. I really enjoyed the oudoor break fast, and could picture myself right there on the spot. I like the easy way you portray the Christian message, so that even non believers could catch the essence of what the Christian life is about, without being 'Bible bashed'. I will read more when I can, but up to this point I have no suggestions for improvement. I have often thought it would be good to have a kind of 'Bible Storybook for Adults', as many adults have trouble reading the Bible itself. Your writing would be admirable for a book of this nature. Five stars

Peter Sidebotham wrote 60 days ago

What a wonderful development of the story behind the letter. A joy to read, packed full of realistic descriptions and believable characters. I have read up to chapter 5 so far and have a few minor comments:

I am a bit puzzled by Philemon’s insistence, at the end of chapter 1, that all the household, with no exceptions, attends their worship service. That seems out of keeping with his character – I could understand all the household being welcome to attend, but to insist on attendance? Perhaps it’s appropriate in the context of the day and the master-slave relationship though.
The description of the worship service in chapter 4 is a wonderful glimpse of what 1st century spirit-inspired worship, healing, prophecy, and Christian care might have been like. I did wonder whether it was just too much packed into one service? Perhaps it really was like that, and if so, how much we are missing now! I felt it would flow better though if it were a bit spread out and just slightly less intense, but perhaps that is just me with my reticent British reserve.
Chapter 5, paragraph 18. ‘the God Who had brought him…’ should be lower case ‘who’.
Chapter 5 builds an excellent picture of Onesimus’ emotions – well done.

PTingen wrote 64 days ago

Joyce,

I just finished reading your wonderful book. I'm glad to hear you're working on a sequel because it does seem to end all too soon once Onesimus finally makes it home. I loved how he got the chance to retrace his steps and meet up with the same folks again and be able to share his story. I was kind of surprised that you didn't include more of Faith and Kiffien's reaction to his confession of everything, but that's about it. I do hope you find a publisher.

All the best to you!!

Patti

Geneva Wilkins wrote 65 days ago

Hi Joyce, just finished reading through chapter 10. I'm impressed with your work and am pleased to read it. The only criticism I can offer is in chapter ten. You seem to offer no real passage of time from when Onesimus meets Philomena to the time of his departure- even a paragraph to indicate that is what happened may be beneficial. Aside from that your work is magnificent!

PTingen wrote 66 days ago

Joyce,

I'm up to Ch. 21 and again, all I can offer is a few possible typos. I agree with the others - your descriptions are amazing! You allow the reader to not only visualize the scenes, but also the smells, sounds, etc. You do a fabulous job of involving all the senses.

I too am bumping you up to 6 stars! Can't wait to read the rest!!

Ch. 16 - hypnotic in is regularity. its instead of is?
dropped his sword on the ground grabbed... a comma between ground and grabbed?
What sentence to do you face? take out to?

Dianna Lanser wrote 66 days ago

Joyce,

Here’s the first of your CLF reviews. I read through chapter seven so very long ago that I thought I better start from the beginning again. This sitting I read through chapter ten and found I didn’t want to quit.

Onesimus’ story is so very easy to read. This is such a polished manuscript, I found I couldn’t offer you a single suggestion. From the chapter titles to punctuation, this is so very clean.

The story in itself is compelling and with the added historical information, it made the reading even more intriguing. I love history. I love to learn and I love Bible stories. This is right up my alley.

Your visuals are incredible. I could picture the port of Ephesus spread wide before Onesimus’ eyes as he came over the rise. And I can see all your characters from Justice and Philemon’s kids to the Ephesian widow who gave Onesimus a room for the winter. Your attention to detail is a example for the rest of us.

My heart sunk when Onesimus took off. He had it so good… but you did well in the beginning of the story to show how vulnerable his past experience had made him. And so it was totally believable that Onesimus would runaway at the first hint of being treated unjustly.

I think so far, chapter seven is my favorite. I loved the open worship and the scripture that was spoken and how Onesimus grappled with his bitterness and prospect of forgiveness. I wondered if your story will bring Onesimus to ever be reconciled with his father and his brother. I guess I’ll have to keep reading! I’m bumping up your star rating to the top!

Dianna Lanser
Nothing But The Blood

julie3201 wrote 67 days ago

Nice - very nice book, Joyce. I read the entire thing. I am really pulled in by the story of the early church, because I've wondered about it and have thought of it so often - about what their situation was like. I realize this is fictional, but also certainly based on history and the Biblical account of the early church and the life of Paul the Apostle.

I enjoy your style of writing a lot. It's very good. You're story is full and visual and your storyline and characters well-developed. I was really taken with Onesiums. His story touched my heart, and I think I had previously read somewhere of those who basically had to sell themselves into slavery, but the idea of a parent selling a child into slavery hadn't occurred to me. What a sad reality!

I knew I couldn't put the story down when I got to chapter 7 and Philemon explained at length the way of God's leading - living life guided by God's spirit rather than our old nature. I believe so strongly we really can live in the world, but not be "of it" because of what God has done for us. I rely so much on God's Spirit that in reading that chapter I find the meaning monumental.

When Onesimus began to fear that Philemon would find him guilty regardless of his innocence and took the money bag and fled I was so upset and I imagined him being captured and tortured by guards and imprisoned, but the story took an entirely different direction which I thought was quite wonderful. It wasn't in that way a predictable plot and it was unique and wonderfully done. His meeting with Paul and the friendship that developed which led to Onesimus' conversion was marvelous and carried the story.

I loved how bold Onesiums became in speaking of his faith, albeit with some inward fear, though who could blame him? For instance, the reaction of Malchus was probably pretty typical in those times. People were just beginning to hear of the rise of Christianity and obviously had heard rumors of the worst kind and were willing to believe those stories. But Onesiums spoke of his faith and God clearly was with him.

I think you show a wide range of knowledge in many areas, and did a marvelous job of writing the story. I am glad you did keep it simple though, because it's easy to read and totally enjoyable.

I do think the story ends too abruptly and that is the only thing I would wish to see changed. I loved the resolution of the story. It was perfect, but as I neared the last few pages I kept thinking, "this can't be complete...I'm sure it's not.." but it is. I would prefer to see you expand on the story, very much! however, if it seems right to you, that is what matters. I offer you my complements on a well-written story. I am glad you use your gift for lifting up the name of Christ. julie

Geneva Wilkins wrote 67 days ago

Wonderful!!!! I've now read through chapter 5 and I have to say tears were brought to my eyes when the young slave boy revealed his dream, because I know that is exactly how God works. I love this story and I'm so glad I have a chance to read it. G.W.- CLF

kiddies wrote 68 days ago

Dear Joyce, Am back for more. Have just read Chapter 3 -- -- New Friends and Old Memories. Very good book! 5 stars so far, and on my bookshelf. Excellent telling of the Onesimus boyhood mouse story -- -- enough told to get the point, without getting too gross. I also like the dream sequence ---- it plays in well with the earlier parts of the story, and isn't incoherent like many such scenes tend to be.

Quibbles:
*"Tomorrow is Lord's Day...Yeshua." -- -- Is Justin a Greek? If so, I don't think he would have used the name "Yeshua" (which is Aramaic), but the Greek for Jesus name.
*"When he did he saw first, Justin..." -- -- I think you need to omit "first," -- -- as it is, it causes one to stumble while reading.

kiddies, a reader.

aurorawatcher wrote 69 days ago

Joyce, this is a well-written period story. You obviously started from a deep knowledge of the letter to Philemon. I've only read the first five chapters, but I will return to read more. Your descriptions are evocative and your characterizations are spot-on. The only off note I encountered was that I thought Onesimus was a bit too forthcoming when first meeting Philemon. One in four Roman citizens was a slave in that time and slaves understood that there was a seperation between themselves and the master. I could see Philemon drawing the answers out of Onesimus, but the information about his family just seemed too easily given. Beyond that, though, your story reads very well. I especially liked the Lord's Day portion. You have a real feel for the era.

Egon R. Tausch wrote 69 days ago

Dear Mrs. Fox, This is my CLF review of Slave to Grace. Have read first 5 Ch's, and intend to read the rest. An excellent portrayal of early Christians in Greece. The Preface is a brilliant idea. Your characters are easy to identify with, and your research must have been phenomenal. It is easy to see God's love working through these people. Extra points for recognizing that the early Church, like the Jews, did not condemn slavery in itself, but required that the slaves be held in a Christian manner and be taught in the Faith. (This is the main flaw in "Quo Vadis", the movie.) The plot moves fast, without any skimping of setting or description. Great book! 5 stars for now, and a bookshelf when space opens up (and assuming the book continues as well-planned as it is so far). Good line in Ch 3: "...his eyes felt like sandstone..."

Quibbles (to pacify editors who read only the first part):
Ch 1: The prostitute deserves her own paragraph, or omission. As it is, she is merely a distraction to the narrative.
Ch 5: The chapter is entitled "This Strange, Three-Headed God", yet there is no mention or explanation of the concept of the Holy Trinity within the chapter.
Ch 5: Which Scriptures does Justin quote? It must be the Greek translation of the Hebrew Scriptures (the Septuagint), at that time, musn't it?
Ch 5: Have studied Roman togas, and have never heard of one "edged in green". Red (purpura), yes, to indicate Senatorial rank. Togas were closely regulated, as proving Roman citizenship.
Ch 5: Why would the Greeks pray in the name of "Yeshua" -- -- His Hebrew name? Why not His name in Greek, Jesus or Iesus? Even St. Paul preached in (Koine) Greek while in Greece.

Egon R. Tausch
A Voice In Rama: A Novel of the Slaughter of the Innocents




Geneva Wilkins wrote 69 days ago

Just finished chapter three, well written and enjoyable. There is one paragraph that I stumbled over while reading, # 3 you kind of lost me in the description of the wall/roof, nothing major but you may want to take a look at it. Overall, very nice! G.W.

James Workman wrote 69 days ago

Joyce--Thank you for writing this. You do it very well and are bringing one of the shortest books of the Bible to life. I could read this to the end. You are on my watchlist and have high stars. Keep it up.

A minor bit of critique for CLF will follow in a message.

James Workman
Christopher Hitchens At Heaven--Atheist Meets Jesus
authonomy.com/books/41994/christopher-hitchens-at-heaven-atheist-meets-jesus/


PTingen wrote 70 days ago

Joyce,

I just read chapters 6-10. Your writing is so beautiful. I love your creative, descriptive language! I have no suggestions at this point other than a few minor errors that I happened to see. Will be back for more later. Loving it!!

Patti

Ch. 6 "He called with good humor". Should it be "he" instead?

Ch. 7 "omen was for good not evil." Should you have a comma between good and not?
"He inquired with trembling heart." Same as Ch. 6 - should it be "he" rather than a separate sentence?
"He knew his was innocent" he instead of his?


faith rose wrote 70 days ago

Dear Joyce,

I am so happy to return to this piece for another CLF review. I picked up in chapter five today, and I felt as if I was revisiting an old friend.

The description of the early Church on The Lord's Day gives me chills. Oh how I wish our modern Church lived this way! The spirit of prayer and praise of Philemon is contagious. His "joyful shout" and friendship with Priscus is heartwarming. The genuine care for others, without class distinction, is such a source of inspiration. I loved reading the immediate responses of brothers and sisters to extend care, not just prayer (ie: "Come stay with us, Zoe!").

As Onesimus observes these tangible examples of care and love, it reminds me of how others (outside the Church) must be watching us. It breaks my heart to think of what they oftentimes see instead of love.

This is such a special, vital book for our Church today. We deeply need the wisdom and truth you have so beautifully written here. I will read on, truly hoping to have my very own hard copy of this someday.

All the very best,
Faith Rose
Now To Him

Geneva Wilkins wrote 71 days ago

Hi :) I'm new to the christian lit group and saw that your book is up next. I've got to say it is a pleasure to read your work. I was immediately drawn in. Often times when I'm reading work written by authors on this site, including myself, I find myself rewording/ rephrasing their sentences. Not so with this. It is well written and enjoyable. I've only read through the first couple of chapters so far and I have no comments to help you improve because quite frankly no improvements seem necessary thus far. It's on my shelf. Best wishes! G.W.

wordworker wrote 72 days ago

Thank you so much, Joy!
Joyce

Joy Eastman wrote 72 days ago

Hi Joyce
I have read 4 chapters of your book so far and plan to read more. It is very interesting and moves right along without any glitches. It is very cool that you have taken a chapter and character from the Bible as your basis in the book. You do not disappoint in your writing and the story is realistic and extremely moving. I give you 6 stars for an excellent representation and a great message.
Blessings, Joy

PTingen wrote 73 days ago

Joyce,

I just finished the first 5 chapters of your book. I read a little bit quite awhile ago so it was quite enjoyable to come back to it and read more of your story. It's wonderfully creative and descriptive and I love the humor sprinkled here and there. You've obviously also done a great deal of research to be able to describe the goings-on of that era. Well done!

The only thing I've noticed so far is a typo, I believe, in your long pitch. "punishment will be any less THAT what..." Should it be than?

Can't wait to read more!

Patti

faith rose wrote 73 days ago

Joyce,

I just had another look at chapter one. It is so beautifully written, and I'm having a hard time remembering exactly which descriptives were there last time and which ones are new. To name a few, I love "prattle on," "rotted rope," reed-slender," "fringe of sparkling white hair," and "trussed and squawking chickens." Perhaps these are not new, but your writing truly carries me away... still. It is beautiful!

~Faith
Now To Him

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