Book Jacket

 

rank 997
word count 12228
date submitted 25.11.2008
date updated 22.11.2009
genres: Non-fiction, Biography, Harper True...
classification: moderate
incomplete

FROM ACID TO THE BODY OF CHRIST

Daxx Danzig

A neurotic journey down roads few return from. A memoir of how God saved a "wretch like me."


 

What if during the psychedelic 1970’s, a somewhat “normal” guy stumbled through an open portal in time and space, allowing him unprecedented access to abnormal phenomena and unexplainable events? And what if the side affects were so disturbingly horrific, that the penance for his “state of higher consciousness” meant a sentence of severe panic, flashbacks, depression, and hypochondria from an “Alice in wonderland syndrome?”

Another fantasy novel you say? No, tragically it is the all too true memoir of one Daxx Danzig. Prepare yourself for a dark journey to the underbelly of the human psyche with a “shiny happy” conclusion. It is complete with delusions, debauchery, lycanthropic transformations, narcissism, humor, music, and numerous quirks and afflictions that eventually lead to self-redeeming salvation. The book is a study of ever-conflicting dilemmas symbolized by the evil “purple microdot” (The Protagonist) and the eventual wafer representing Christ’s body, which one receives when saved (The Antagonist). Throughout the madness is death, lurking as a constant and underlying menace at each rabbit hole I manage to fall into. Although there are no anthropomorphic creatures that sit on mushrooms smoking hookah pipes, there are many similarities drawn from the parable known as “Wonderland” (life?).

 
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tags

, abnormal psychology, acid trip, god, guardian angel, hypochonria, lsd, memoir, misanthropic, music, panic disorder, pop-culture, somatization

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Prison Daze

17

 

Prison Daze

 

 

 

“Got your hand’s bound, and your head down,

And your eyes closed, you look so precious now.

I have found some kind of temporary sanity in this

Shit, blood and cum on my hands.  I’ve come round full circle.

From the song “Prison Sex” by “Tool”…Maynard James Keenan.

 

 

 

 

Hey Rookie, don’t forget to lock up your weapon in the drawer!

In the drawer?  (What good’s it gonna do me in there?)

Yeah, you want one of these scumbags to grab it and cap your ass?

(They wouldn’t do that would they?)  Nah definitely wouldn’t want that.

Let’s go!  Everybody!  Warden said every swingin’ dick wearin’ a badge get up there quick!

You want me to come too?  (Surely not, it’s my first day; my shift doesn’t start till 3:00.  I’ll just hangout here at the desk.)

Yeah!  Let’s go sunshine!  Get your ass in here, Deputy…umm, Danzig!  We might need some extra meat!

Okay.  What’s going on anyway?  (What if this elevator gets stuck?  Holy shit!  Breathe!  Relax!)

Hurry!  Third floor!  Fuckin’ “Caveman’s” out again!

Who’s “caveman?”   

Crazy fucker that killed his Grandma with a sledgehammer!

(HUH?)  Gulp!

Which one of you “ass clowns” want him this time?

Not me.  I almost broke my fist on that son-of-a-bitch last week!

Fuck that!  I ain’t tackling that crazy fucker unless I got to!

 

(Well sounds like some poor bastard’s gonna have to deal with him!  Glad it ain’t this “ass clown!”  Just keep looking down.  La-da-DEE, La-da-dah.  Don’t make eye contact with anybody, just blend in.  I bet my blood pressure’s high as a cat’s back!  Wonder why they’re eyeballin’ me?  Hey wait a minute!)

(OH SHIT!  WAIT A MINUTE!  NO, HE’S NOT GONNA, No, no, no…NOOOOO!  HE IS!  OH NO, NOOOO, PLEASE GOD HEEELLLP MEEEE!  Church bell rings, accompanied by thunder, rain, gloomy distortion and Iommi’s three chord riff from hell with Geezer’s stained glass shattering lows…)

 

Let’s give him to the new man!

Yeah!  Let Danzig have him!

How bout it Deputy Danzig, You want him?  (Shit, Shit, Shit!  I gotta get outta here NOW!)

YOU WANT HIM MAN HUH?  YOU WANT SOME?  WHOOOWWW!  YEAH!  LET’S KICK SOME ASS MEN!

We gonna check ya fuzz Deputy Danzig, see if ya got any!

 

(OH MY GOD, WHAT’S HAPPENING HERE?!  Are they for real?  Maybe it’s just a hazing type initiation or something.  They gotta be joking.  Powers probably put them up to this!)

 

Elevator doors slowly slide open to sounds of screaming and total chaos.  Heart racing one thousand mph.  Panic, anxiety, fear, apprehension, all gripping me like a giant boa constrictor.  Screams reach bloodcurdling level around the corner.  Trembling and labored breathing hopefully not noticed by the “goon-squad.” 

 

“WHA TIS THIS THAT STANDS BEEE-FORE ME?” 

Naked bad-guy to my right pursued by good-guys, approaching fast, something brown on skin, penis dangling to MID THIGH LEVEL, SWEET LORD IN HEAVEN!…NAKED BAD-GUY WITH… DICK THAT RESEMBLES A STICK OF BOLOGNA AND WHAT APPEARS TO BE POOP SMEARED ON CHEST SCREAMING BLOODY MURDER APPROACHING FAST!  I CAN’T DO THIS! OH SHIT!  IT IS SHITTT!

Instincts somehow take over.

“COULD THIS BE THE END MY FRIEND?  CAVEMAN’S COMING ROUND THE BEND!”

 

(Okay head up, tail down.  Stay low.  Good form tackle the way Coach Joe taught us in high school!  Make crazy grunting noise the way Coach Mac said to startle and intimidate your opponent!  Drive him into the ground, allow his body to absorb the impact.  Now sprawl and apply the “Power’s Sleeper Hold.”  Spread feet wider and crank up hard on the neck.  Do not let go no matter what!  Hold on till the Calvary arrives!  Can’t stay on top much longer!  It’s okay when he flips me over just wrap legs around his midsection and keep choking!  Is one of these “good guys” gonna help or what?  This son-of-a-bitch is crazy!  He’s not going out!  Where’s my damn backup?  Hold on, he’s almost done.  Okay he’s out!  He’s done.  Let go.  It’s over… it’s over.  I think I’m okay. Thank God, it’s over.)

 

The Sergeant in charge of dayshift (A big sloppy fellow nicknamed “Snapshot.”) was hysterically high fiving his fellow officers as I collapsed onto the cement floor from exhaustion and nerves. 

 

Nice job Officer Danzig!  You get the honors Rookie!  I told ya’ll we should’ a got this sombitch on our shift!

(Honors, I’m just happy to be still breathing.) 

What honor is that?

You get to drag that fucker to the hole!

 

(Apparently this was some kind of ritual to illustrate dominance and make a name for oneself among the inmate population as an officer who did not take any shit.  Not even from murderers named Caveman with dicks like summer sausages who rub doo-doo on their torsos like “Panama Jack” tanning oil.) 

 

It may have appeared that I didn’t take shit, but I had shit smeared all over my perfectly starched and creased uniform.  This had been a major confrontation to me and drama of any sort was something that I avoided like the plague. 

To every other Officer in the department this was just a day in the life of a thrill seeking adrenalin junkie looking to add another feather in their Police caps.  And at which time you brandished enough feathers, you may be considered as a candidate for the one sacred duty every jailer dreamed of being assigned to; a Patrol Officer with his own squad car.  I knew damn well that this environment was not conducive for my living life with any sense of normalcy.  Plus I had zero burning desire to attain the rank of Patrolman, and despised the idea of harassing people and writing tickets.  My first shift hadn’t even started and I was ready to retire my

badge, gun (that I had to keep locked up anyway) and shit stained uniform.  But of course I was all out of career options and a fool in love will do crazy things!  

 

So I grabbed a wooly ankle and drug “Caveman” like a hunter drags a dead deer on the smooth polished gray floors towards the hole.  Finding the hole was easy; just follow the most sickening smell you could ever imagine.  It would guide you straight to the dank every time.

I felt somewhat like “Teddy Roosevelt” after bagging a cape buffalo on an African safari.  I was waiting for the jailhouse photographer to appear and instruct me to place a foot on my trophy and pose for a commemorative photo.  Cell 3North was buzzing about the new deputy who had performed such an act of bravery. 

 

Hey Officer!  Yo, Mr. POE-leece. You look like Clark Kent with those glasses!  Yeah, it’s Superman!  Superman put “Caveman” to sleep!  He don’t play dude!  Superman’s a bad dude!  Hey “Soup” let me holla at’cha real quick man!  “Soup!”  Deputy, com’eer sir.  That’s “Soup”mutha fucka, and he don’t play!  Soup’ll put yo ass ta sleep up in this mug!

 

So it was from that day forward, that I would be known as “Soup” by each and every inmate in the jail. 

And “Soup” didn’t play, which was a good thing, because Daxx (Soup’s alter ego) was lost in his guise of “super cop” which attached itself like a leech beneath the pretext of bravissimo and pit bull spunk.  I now carried a reputation.

 

At 1430 hours the “Legion of Doom” arrived at the jail in all their splendor.  I was allowed to go home for a much needed fumigation and change of uniform.  My brain was anxious and fretful of what the future had in store for me being associated with this fanatical band of “merry men.” 

 

Part of me relished in the valor and prestige of adorning the silver star, but the reality of knowing without a shadow of doubt that I was not cut out for this madness was apparent as well.  Upon my return one would have thought I grabbed the “immaculate reception” from Bradshaw to defeat the Raiders. 

The members of the Doom Squad were beside themselves.  I had attended pep rallies at USM football games that weren’t as hyped and filled with exhilaration.  The “Motley Crue” made up of Sergeant Powers, myself, and three other rhapsodized desperados met for roll call and a pre-shift briefing. 

 

There was Vickers who was without a doubt the scariest dude I had ever met in my life.  His eyes told me instantly that he was more psychotic than any convict who had ever graced this musty hell hole.  He puffed on a big Cuban cigar and wore a cowboy hat with a rattle snake head mounted on the brim.  The thin line separating insanity from genius was slightly frazzled, possibly even severed as I recall many of his antics. 

He had arrived at the Harrison County Sheriff’s Department via the Natchez Police where he was a Patrol Officer. 

Vickers was no stranger to the snap on his weapon holster as he had little problem drawing and firing his stainless Smith & Wesson at a perceived crook (or varmint, I heard he had killed every opossum, squirrel, armadillo and coon in the Natchez Trace!).  He was rumored to be dismissed from the Natchez Police Department for firing eighteen shots at an unarmed suspect that fled the scene of a vehicular accident. 

Vickers was deceptively strong and somehow appeared to seemingly grow at will.  When he was just “everyday Vickers” he stood about 6’ tall and weighed in at around 220lbs.  But let a situation arise where there was the slightest chance of physical combat or an altercation may ensue, and I swear he morphed into “Werewolf Vickers” who looked every bit of 6’4’’ and 250lbs.  Not to mention the fact that pain had no affect on him whatsoever.  He was just one of those guys you wanted in the foxhole, the battlefield or dark alley and especially in a cell with you if and when things got hairy (and they always did).

 

Next there was a Deputy known simply as “The German.”  He was the spiting image of the actor Rutger Hauer who played the villain in the movie Nighthawks.  To be more accurate, he was what Hauer would have looked like had he been injected with massive doses of anabolic steroids, human growth hormone, Winstrol and Dianabol.  He was a competitive body-builder and power lifter with a Master’s degree in Criminal Justice from USM. 

In his mind those credentials were more than worthy to justify an immediate ascension through the ranks of the Investigations Division, bypassing the jail, patrol and all other lowly assignments.  He would carry a bit of resentment towards the “brass” that made the bullshit decision to place him in this demeaning and lowly cesspool of corruption known as the Gulfport Jail.  He was a nonconformist who would slit the throat of establishment every chance he got, when he wasn’t banging hot cheerleaders from college, studying Hitler or benching 400lbs that is. 

A disgruntled guy on juice with a chip on his shoulder is a lethal enough mix, but when you also throw in that he was a Nazi sympathizer who exhibited episodes of “roid rage” and disdain for inmates who weren’t of true Aryan descent (which the jail happened to be full of!) he was a ticking time bomb. 

I would later discover that much like myself he was burdened with his own mental demons, but managed to conceal them well, as I did. 

German had a pre-shift ritual of woofing down boiled egg whites and raw garlic cloves which made for quite the interesting odor that perpetually exuded from his person throughout each shift.  That aroma, combined with another distinct smell from some sort of menthol cream like “Ben-Gay” (except fifty times more powerful and pungent) that he massaged into his joints was keenly overwhelming.  The German’s physique was near perfect with pleasing elongated muscles packed onto his 6’ and 195lb frame.  

 

Rounding out the immortal five was the ever dangerous and controversial Fred Redding.  He was known as “Rambo” by the inmates and convicts across the coast.  He was assigned to the jail as punishment for yet another excessive force violation received while on patrol.  His vigilante style of a “law dog” from the old west made him expendable but a calculated risk the Department was willing to take. 

Society needed Redding out there chasing criminals as a modern day Wyatt Earp and the Sheriff knew it.  Having Fred confined to the jail when there were bad guys on the streets raping, robbing, and killing was like playing in a Super Bowl with Joe Montana healthy, but relegated to pacing the sidelines.  It just didn’t make good sense, but rules and procedures must be followed I suppose. 

Retting was fearless in the face of death and relished in the notoriety and prominence that go hand in hand with being tagged as “Rambo.”  That embodiment would accompany him into any meeting or gathering of Law Enforcement personnel like a stamp on his forehead.   Fred may have had a tendency to go overboard at times but as with Powers, Vickers, and German, you could count on him to be there no matter how dire the circumstance. 

Fred was 5’10, probably 210lbs and not overly muscular, but solid as a brick wall.  He was an expert marksman, handy with a PR24 Police Baton, proficient with basic martial arts, pressure point applications, and joint lock submission holds. 

 

Every shift was kicked off with the sound of an instrumental Grand Opera playing the music from a scene in the movie Apocalypse Now, where a squadron of helicopters attacks a Vietnamese village.  The song titled Ride of the Valkyries was from Act3 of Die Walkure written and composed by Richard Wagner.  The German had

informed Powers that in World War 2 a group of Nazi tank soldiers had broadcast the song over their shortwave radios preempting an assault in the Battle of Memel (I believe it was).  I later researched the German’s nostalgic compendium and found it to be an accurate depiction of events that transpired.  A firsthand account of the entire scenario was later documented in a book entitled The Forgotten Soldier written in the late 1940’s. 

The song’s triumphant melody would be forever attached to the valor and resolve of these German soldiers and the book would label it as “a fitting accompaniment to supreme sacrifice.” 

Blasting from a bass heavy boom box, it prepped us to wage our own bloody battles inside the jail, where the odds of surviving eight hours made outmanned Nazi’s of us all.

 

I had about as much business being accepted into this shrouded brotherhood of daredevilry as Richard Simmons did into the Hell’s Angels. They could jump out of airplanes and I couldn’t get on one.  Their days were spent rehearsing tactical maneuvers, practicing ambidextrous shooting from a prone position, and polishing Police gear.  I shopped for Z.Cavaricci pants, Giorgio Brutini shoes, shaved my legs, wrote poetry and enjoyed smelling good.  They repelled down bridges into the gulf wearing dive gear and I couldn’t drive across a bridge for fear of getting stuck on one.  The only thing I had going for me was my reputation as “Soup” which was somewhat like being “The Fonz.”  But eventually, even Arthur Fonzarelli has to remind the masses of who he is and why. 

The Deputies and inmates had a saying for guards they observed to be passive or timid which went “That dude looks like Tarzan but fights like Jane!” 

Now “Chachi” or “Ralph Malph” I could pull off, but playing the part of “The Fonz” would prove my most challenging role to date.  This dark sitcom allowed no second takes and could go from hilarious to somber in the time it took for someone to thrust a makeshift spear into your spleen. 

 

I was trapped in a nightmare episode; yet the pilot had only just begun.

 

 

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SiCorbz wrote 895 days ago

Hi Daxx. From Acid To The Body Of Christ. (I am commenting having read all 4 chapters). The dialogue, complete with inner thoughts, is absolutely spot on. Reading this raw, visceral and often brilliantly phrased reportage from the front line of America's seedy blue collar underbelly reminds me of precisely why its detractors so readily call modern America 'The Great Satan'. What a hellhole! Insane inbred psychotics with no respect for life, other people or themselves -- and some of them in uniform and licensed by the state!! Unfortunately your nation enshrines the right to bear arms...and then breeds characters like those you describe! Scary stuff my friend. This is brilliant and appalling at the same time (if you get me!). You have taken me right inside the realities of a modern US jail...and it's really really really somewhere I never want to be! Daxx, you have 377 prior comments...so there's not much more I can add except....SHELVED! ATB Simon (Little Bastard/Love Gudrun Ensslin)

DCM wrote 1276 days ago

The level of which you write is embedded in all of us. The problem is that most of us are unable to access that level of thinking and adaptation to our current lives. Clearly, people of political correctness (insecurity) will damn the book and want the book and you burned at the stake. However, intelligent readers will be able to see through the words and easily acknowledge the glaring truth of your writing.

This book is not for the casual reader as it forces the reader to delve into a part of us that many wish to avoid. I fear that this brilliant work of art will be too bright for the hippocrate who wishes to remain in a safe, pretend world instead of opening one's mind and exploring the real human psyche.

The play of words and their adaptation to the author's real life through the eyes of this man in From Acid to the Body of Christ is worthy of adjectives not yet created. It is simply a deep and real peek into our minds and how one small act can cause a lifetime of intrepid experiences, mostly from the inner self.

I am reading it again for the second time and I daresay it will require many more readings to glean the necessary conveyances to appreciate what the author is experiencing.

LiNCOLN PARK wrote 1189 days ago

Daxx --

I don't know what to say.

Others can nitpick you over editing; but your style is WAY beside the point. You have graced us with the content.

People who don't have panic disorder do not understand it -- and NEVER WILL understand it; to their fortune. The swashbuckling, redneck psychotica and police wonking are no match to believing yourself to be on the verge of death every five minutes in an unadulterated state of panic. And to think you did it to acid-laced music!

You are a anointed voice for those afflicted with the hypersensitivity of a panicked life. I mean this. I am someone who knows.

BTW -- I'm happy that at least ONE of us has managed to decipher and study many of our perverse and vexing childhood behaviors through the years... LOLOLOL

You so ROCK -- and are so SHELVED!

Walter A. Reali wrote 1209 days ago

From Acid to the body of Christ

I loved your book since its very beginning. Most chapters begin with a verse from Blue Oyster Cult or a lot of early heavy metal and trash scene stuff (Yeah Slayer!!!), this put you in direct connection with a well identified ‘slice’ of the readers’ pie. This book is meant to be read by young people living their heavy metal – alternative – depression – fast food – football matches period, and I don’t think older people can really get its potential, even though they may actually like it. You know, the more you feel like the protagonist the more you get the meaning of it. Your narration, I’d rather say ‘talking’ in you case, is very fast, but you don’t run on words, you use them exactly how they should be used in this case: fast, direct, straight to the point. The beginning reminded me of Trainspotting, even though chapters in your book are more consequential, but then you do find your own way on a sort of interior trip that has nothing to do with the nirvana experience or meditation, but, if you allow me, just post industrial age – modern depression and idleness. This is a sort of book I’d read hangovering on sundays afternoons.
Man, good job indeed, I like your style I couldn’t find any mistakes worth of noticing.

john does dead wrote 1206 days ago

Your huge following will be cult like soon. This is art. This is phenominal and you have captured the pen of a generation. Disturbing at times, hilarious at others, and most of all your tortured voice cries out and demands the readers full attention. A wild roller coaster like ride, bordering on flow of un-consciousness and surreal. An amazing talent you are. I might suggest a small tad of punctuational editing, but do NOT change anything else!

fletcherkovich wrote 506 days ago

Dear Daxx-



Great Paradox.
I admit this book has a very strong inquiry about life, its purpose and where it leads us. Every angle of this book is full of psychological substance that would encourage the reader to keep reading and dig out the mystery that covers it. The opening scene beautifully draws a stable foundation of the book’s aim and the way the author describes the introduction really leaves a good picture that symbolizes the nature of contradictions in life. Good intentions. Characters are manipulated well together with great dialogues. The plot is weaved together with the substantial thematic emphasis. I believed that your book just deserves the praise and the claps. I appreciate reading a high quality product of literature. BACKED.
Good luck to you and your writing career.

FLETCH
STORIES FROM A LEAKING MIND &
THE TRAGEDY OF HOMISIDEHAMPTON

Marita A. Hansen wrote 511 days ago

This most certainly was an interesting read. The way in which you do your dialogue, combined with the thoughts give the first part of chapter 1 a sort of theatrical feeling. Not in the sense of over-dramatisation, but the reader watching a play—a very good one at that. I thought the thoughts in the brackets and emphasised in bold added to this feeling, and I liked it, it was unique. Plus, you had some really amusing lines. The bad dude, naked—his bologna— and with a rather unsavoury brown smeared across his chest running full bore and Danzig having to tackle him was one hell of an initiation into being a cop. I like Danzig’s thoughts of how to tackle this situation, relating it to high school and Coach Joe’s instructions.

I also liked the way you did the dialogue, it fitted your story and the characters well. The descriptions of the individual cops were distinctive and nicely done, memorable-Rambo, The German (which was the best description as I had a clear picture in my head of him), and Vickers—with Soup adding to the mix. And with “Ride of the Valkyries” playing in the background, you’ve got one wild bunch of interesting characters.

All the best for the new year – Marita.

mrsdfwt wrote 517 days ago

Hey Dax, Like your your story, especially your ability to vividly describe the harsh life inside the establishment while at the same time, maintaining a human perspective and even making friends. I think this could be a second "Green Mile." Go forth young man, Finish the book ! Shelved and sprinkled with ******
Maria (Dark of the Moon)

"Stolen Childhood" wrote 529 days ago

God Bless you, i see he allready has. If God breaths on your work dont worry, He will lead you in the right direction, because the Lord want to show the world what he has done in your life.
Blessings from Pastor Laila Bevan from the KIngs church in Newport south wales
PS SOrry for wrong spelling of english, im norwegian

JeffCorkern wrote 529 days ago

I read the first chapter.

This ricochets all over the place. There might be people who like this style. I found it very confusing. It feels unfocused. I wasn't in the story. You're going to have a hard time selling this.

Your first chapter needs to establish milieu and the main characters FIRST. This doesn't happen here until close to the end. As a result, the reader is more than a little confused as to what's going on, where, and why.

There isn't the slightest connection to the pitch I can see.

You draw your characters well. You could conceivably have problems using copyrighted characters from "Happy Days." This is the kind of headache editors prefer NOT to have to deal with.

Emily Christine Smith wrote 543 days ago

Hi Daxx,

I do not want you to think for one moment that I am backing your book purely because you backed mine (Fanning The Fire) - I do it because I think you've got a brilliant book here with a real and genuine human voice.

There are a few little errors, like Redding becoming Retting etc but these are superficial - the actual meat of the story, the context and pulse, is impressive.

It is contentious in places and I like that - I like to be prompted in to viewing things in a less-than-rosy light. It makes life fuller and richer - if not a little grittier too!

I get a real sense of the place, the people, the frailties that accompany every person no matter their reputation or build! I think you've a great talent.

I'm up to half way through chapter 3 but I will finish it - as I hope you do.

Any thoughts you had on mine would be appreciated - I'm more on this site for constructive feedback than trying to stack up numbers!

All the best with your book,

Emily
Author of Fanning The Fire

greeneyes1660 wrote 562 days ago

Hi Daxx... The truth will set you free never had a clearer meaning. The horrors one endure's are all part of the journey. Some get out barely scathed while others truly travel to hell and back."Back" being the operative word. When we love the Lord, we find our way home. But this is the Devils playground and our free will, is our achilles heel at times. We can follow the Holy Spirit and climb the mountains more easily or we can crawl are way up. You have done an amazing job at telling it like it is without the fluff and gloss...Bravo
This will be a hard pill to swallow for many, but it's about time they get a dose of their own medicine.We all know trouble's inevitable but Misery is optional and that is up to us. Backed with certainty Patricia aka Columbia Layers of the heart

Katy Christie wrote 577 days ago

A compelling story and great writing. It's not the sort of stuff I normally read, but the title got me. I initially thought the different fonts, denoting the different voices, would confuse me (not difficult I know) but in actual fact, this allowed the story to progress in one quick, smooth motion. This is good.
Katy Christie
No Man No Cry

M. A. McRae. wrote 580 days ago

Interestingl;y different. Grammar exactly as suits the style, and spelling appears impeccable. Good luck with your writing. Marj.

Eunice Attwood wrote 595 days ago

This is powerful stuff, and a wild ride into the present. A lot of fast paced action makes the trip fascinating. I can see its all been said. Backed. Eunice - The Temple Dancer.

GK Stritch wrote 605 days ago

Daxx Danzig,

You the Ax Man by taking the reader to a place he doesn't want to go.

Good work in getting electronically published.

Best wishes and backed.

GK Stritch
CBGB Was My High School

WriterGurl1 wrote 615 days ago

Hi Daxx,
Inspired writing. You already know how fantastic it is from all the previous feedback, but as a fellow author I know how great it feels to get a positive review. That is what I intend this to be...a positively raving review! Thanks for sharing and allowing me the opportunity to support you on the journey! I'll read anything (except historical) and most of it is simply mediocre. This is far beyond wonderful!
Sincerely,
Heidi
An Unexpected Obsession

Wilma1 wrote 638 days ago

Well no ones been transported in time yet and I read two chapters. This is a wonderfully wacky read. I like the way you lay out the paragraphs and give us the inner eye thoughts and minds on what’s going on. The visuals of what is happening in this prison is more scary than any real one we see on the telly in ‘most dangerous prison on earth’ not that I’ve watched it of course. This is exceptional writing, its clever and quirky a real page turner, good luck with it.

Wilma1
Knowing Liam Riley – I hope you can spare a moment to take a look.

TalulaJane wrote 643 days ago

Incredible amounts of action here. Not one dull moment to be had. Character development is at best, terrific. My favorite part is the tackling of the caveman...the naked, crappy caveman.
Carrie
The Darkwood Tales: Demouri's Defeat

Eunice Attwood wrote 651 days ago

What can I say. It's all been said. Great story - even though quite scary and not my usual genre. Happy to back you. Eunice - The Temple Dancer. (I hope you take a look).

Elizabeth Wolfe wrote 655 days ago

Dear Daxx,
I read the first chapter and found a stunningly different book. Violent and horrifying. Not sure what to think - I will have to read it several times so I can figure out what it means. I am backing this because it's obviously so original and unique.

BACKED
Elizabeth Wolfe (MEMORIES OF GLORY)

Please excuse the following message if I’ve already sent it to you. Sometimes I get confused! Thanks.

Here is your chance to get a double backing. My friend, homewriter, and I have similar taste in writing and trust each other's judgment. Back my book and leave it on your bookshelf. Then do the same for his, "The Harpist of Madrid." Once the backings register, he will give you a return backing guaranteed. Just let him know in an email that you've backed my book as well as his. You might have to be a bit patient as we're 6 time zones apart. But you'll have two backings guaranteed on your excellent book. Of course, comments are always welcome too!

nsllee wrote 658 days ago

My goodness, Daxx, this is real life with a capital L. It makes most thrillers on this site look lame. Such powerful immediate writing and such heart-thumping gritty subject matter. Amazing. Backed.

Nicole
Chosen

hikey wrote 658 days ago

Sharp, witty, professionally written and comprehensively terrifying enough so to make the reader hyperventilate let alone the writer.

" I am getting so far out one day I wont come back at all "
W.S.B

Jane

T. L. Bartush wrote 667 days ago

Daxx I'll limit my comments to your short pitch and if you've heard this before ignore me.

The short pitch is a series of questions and although I appreciate you are trying to get the reader's attention it's less effective than making declaratory statements. They're harder to come up with but worth it because the short pitch becomes the selling point you use in query letters to agents and publishers.

After you have a short pitch your long one will be better because the short helps to define the long.

Thank you for backing Bleak House Bleak Shed.

T. L. Bartush

CarolinaAl wrote 674 days ago

Daxx is sympatethic and well developed. Your imagery is vivid. For example, your description of the poop smeared naked guy. You enrich your phenominal narrative with appropriate similies such as 'like a giant boa constrictor' and metaphors like 'hold on until the Calvary' arrives.' Your dialogue reads real and drives your story. Your wit is hilarious. Your pacing kept me riveted.

Nits:
1) Consider reducing the number of exclamation marks by half. Overuse diminishes their effectiveness.
2) 'Crazy fucker that killed his Grandma with a sledgehammer!' 'That' should be 'who.'
3) '(HUH?)' No need to write in all caps. Writing in all caps is highly unusual and will pull experienced readers out of your story while they attempt to figure out what you're trying to convey with all caps. You don't want that. There are more cases of this type of problem.
4) "Could this be the end my friend?" Comma after 'end.' When you address someone in dialogue, offset their name or title (my friend) with commas. There are more cases of this type of problem.

This is a captivating, evocative memoir. Backed.

Johanna Kern wrote 674 days ago

This is one of the most powerful reads on this site!

Absolutely grabbing, crafted at the highest level of superb writing, intelligent, witty, shocking, revealing and healing story. A must read.

My complements on your storytelling skills and the very fine work!

Backed with true pleasure.

Johanna Kern
Master and the Green-Eyed Hope

Andrew Foley Jones wrote 689 days ago

Beautifully chaotic and menacing and unconventional and fearless and I love the squalor and the filth and the complete sheer overwhelming futility of certain existence. On my shelf.

mclevin wrote 692 days ago

Not sure how I managed to not stumble upon this mad and fantastical comic fugue before. Part Lewis Carroll, part Aldous Huxley and part Hunter S. Thompson. Highly inventive, sharp and uproarious!

Oh yeah, and backed.

Best,

G
Notes on an Orange Burial (a tragicomedy)

drachat wrote 727 days ago

Wow, is all I can say. Brilliant and makes my story a playground battle of pigtails!

What an experience, one that i am most grateful was spared. I'm sure you have heard it all but this is expertly written, and really makes you feel what it was like to guard such hardened criminals.

Since your book is already published I'm wondering why you have it on this site? If it's just to sell it then more power to you. It would be worth every penny.

Good Luck
Denise

Gregory James wrote 728 days ago

Daxx,
A very fascinating read. You have a very interesting writing style. While some might find it distracting, I think it adds to the whole feel of the book. You have my backing.

Gregory James

Despinas1 wrote 731 days ago

Daxx
The Body of Christ is one of the most renowned epiphany's of life's experiences. That you have articulated it through the trauma of your; may I quote "delusions, debauchery, lycanthropic transformations, narcissism", and so on and so forth, remains for me to be a miracle of God's healing.
This sort of pitch is exactly what it's all about.... Presenting your readers with a wealth of promising success, through the good the bad, and most definitely the evil...
This book should be published because of strong message, where so many others, may have taken the same route, and found themselves lost, yet, hope is never far from reach.
I commend you on your journey, I love your writing style, and I cannot wait to start reading.....
Thank you for your powerful message
Helen

Anthony Brady wrote 733 days ago

FROM ACID TO THE BODY OF CHRIST

In four Chapters, the author distills all the elements of the symbiotic - mutually condoned relationship - between the guarded and the guards and produces the quintessence of the modern penal control questions and dilemmas: to punish; to avenge; to correct or to crush with unremitting retribution those criminals who have killed humans but still society expects to be treated humanely. Each Chapter is headed by a perfectly apt quotation which lends power to the author's discreetly intergrated philosophy contrasting subtlely with the guard's home-spun liberalities. May I suggest a Quotation Daxx - for use in further Chapters: Who Will Guard the Guards? Or to put it as Julius Ceasar did: Quis custodiet ipsos custodes? All the makings of a best seller here. BACKED.

Tony Brady. - SCENES FROM AN EXAMINED LIFE - Books 1,2 & 3.

delhui wrote 735 days ago

Dear Daxx --

Now that's an adrenaline-filled opening and your commentary is hilarious. My only concern is that the formatting is a little hard for the reader to follow until we catch on to what's what and who's who... One thought is to maybe put what's more or less dialogue in quotes, as I did feel a little slowed down at first.

But that's a small mechanical issue in a great piece of writing. Your story is a roller coaster ride, and you share it with honesty and humor in perfect balance.

Thank you for backing The Long Black Veil, as you led me to your wonderful memoir. Happy to return the support! -- Delhui

Patrick Fox wrote 736 days ago

I loved this. Powerful and well written. I watch cop shows and prison dramas and don't give a second thought to what it must be like for the real-life counterparts of those fictional characters, but here you lay it all out in visceral detail. This is real life that no drama could come close to. I wish you luck with it.

Patrick
Trinity

jew wrote 740 days ago

Hello Daxx, I just read all four chapters and have to say that you have the a well written biography here. Congrats on getting it published! I would never want to work in a jail. I do believe that people can change for the better if put into the right circumstance and companionship. I am very happy that you met John Ashford the way you did and very much respect your non-judgemental approach at befriending him, that's all someone needs sometimes is someone to stand up for them and show kindness. I'm glad that he saved your life and I hope he was able to get out of jail (hopefully he won't be drinking anymore,lol). I've had a couple negative experiances with the police in the past in which I was wrongly judged and mistreated, some people are just bullies aren't they, many times it's because they were mistreated when they were younger and are unconsciously programed to do the same to others. Anyway, I wish you all the best on your book sales and pray that things are going well for you. God bless you, With Love, John

Luke Bramley wrote 749 days ago

He had slept next to death unfettered ... beautiful contrast. In total, MESMERISING. A life lived, feared for, fretted over, I do not envy you but then again I feel the fear myself ad have never dealt with lifers. Backed, Brammers.

Becca wrote 749 days ago

This is an excellent story though I have to admire the format really threw me off and made this a little harder to read than it needed to be. Content wise, one of the best memoirs I've read on this site.
Good luck!
xBeccax
The Forever Girl

crazy mama wrote 751 days ago

You might be surprised how many of us God has delivered from these roads. Thanks for writing this! Backed!

A Knight wrote 755 days ago

This is such a surreal yet realistic take on life, and plunging into this prose has left me laughing and,more importantly, thinking. You do a fantastic job of keeping this bright and entertaining, yet gritty at the same time. We are never left with the illusion that this is fiction - just life from another angle.

Backed with pleasure.
Abi xxx

derwenna wrote 759 days ago

Hello Daxx, well, what a ride this was! Written superbly and such raw material in places. Honest and forthright - loved it.
back with pleasure
Paula - Ruined Echoes

Rowan Dai wrote 760 days ago

An interesting and unique biography. Well written in the way that you create this gritty, real environment. I can feel and smell the place. I hope it does well for you. Not something I would read, but I will back it I believe you have created the time and place extremely well and I think there may be a place for this book. Best of luck with it.
Cheers, Rowan

Estelene wrote 762 days ago

This is a compelling story that makes me understand that there is a world out there of which I have absolutely no concept. However, your story would be more polished if you had the benefit of a good editor. Here are a few of the issues that slowed down my reading and, in some instances, made me have to go back and read again to be sure I understood:

In your pitch, it should be “side effects” rather than “affects.”

“Got your hands bound,” doesn’t need an apostrophe.

You need commas around direct address—“…fuzz, Deputy Danzig, see…;” ‘…get the honors, Rookie…”

Be careful about run-ons—“…okay when he flips me over; just wrap…” And put commas before conjunctions that join two sentences—“…confrontation to me, and drama…”

“Part of me relished in the valor…” Do you mean “reveled in the valor”?

Sunflick wrote 763 days ago

I love the pow! pow! pow! of the opening scene. It makes the reader read as frantically as its written and the 'feel' the emotion of it as well as reading the words.

Backed, Lucy
Divine

CraigD wrote 764 days ago

This is down and dirty. You do a great job of getting across the chaos of your situation. I'm not much of one for gratuitous profanity, but of course the language rings true here, so much so that "poop" and "doo-doo" feel out of place. I've got your back.
Please consider looking at my book, The Job.
Craig

jamesmac wrote 767 days ago

I don't know where to start here Daxx -
My experience of prison is pretty much nil - what I see on telly I suppose.
But you have taken a subject, that quite frankly turns the stomachs of most ordinary human beings, and given us a funny, disgusting, brutal look though the spy-hole in the cell door.
I felt like a voyeur at times during the first two chapters, but still wanted to continue reading - at points disgusted, but still fascinated.
You've got something different from anything I've came across yet.
Best of luck with FATTBOC.
Backed
James...

Rusty Bernard wrote 775 days ago

Hi daxx,
I have only read a very small part of your work but it reminds me of the time when I had, what I referred to as, my busy mind and thought that I was going mad. When everything became too much there was nothing else to do bu tseek solace in something that only made things worse. Cannot wait to read more, Backed!!!
MM

Famlavan wrote 776 days ago

From Acid to the body of Christ

This is such a well-written book. It is a privilege to be given insight into your life. This is introspectively disturbing and yet at times so up lifting and funny. This is an amazing book and many thanks for the privilege!

SusieGulick wrote 786 days ago

Dear Daxx, Since I already backed your book, I am making a "comment" & putting you on my watchlist to advance your book more. I am so excited that you backed, "He Loves Me!" Could you take a moment & back the unedited version? "Tell Me True Love Stories" Thanks so much, Susie :)

SusieGulick wrote 786 days ago

Dear Daxx, Non-fiction & biography is where it's at! :) I love that you have been honest in sharing. Your story is a good read because you create interest by having short paragraphs & lots of dialogue which makes me want to keep reading to find out what's going to happen next. I'm BACKING/COMMENTING on your book to help advance it. :) PLEASE take a moment to BACK/COMMENT on my TWO Books, ... "He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not" ... and the UNEDITED version? ... "Tell Me True Love Stories"
Thanks, Susie :)

PatrickArmstead wrote 787 days ago

Hi Daxx,

This is a daring and compelling read. A look at a part of life that a lot of people never see or experience. You've portrayed it well so as to let those people like me understand that experience. Good Job. I'm happy to support this work.

Backed 100%

Patrick Armstead
Dark Lands

Burgio wrote 796 days ago

This is an important book. First, because it took courage to write this; second because when drugs are all too often thought of as "just fun" it shows how tragic the aftermath can really be. I like your "stream of thoughts" that interweave with your dialogue. Really reveals where your head is at in scenes. Makes this a good read. Burgio (Grain of Salt).

JLPenn wrote 823 days ago

Wow, kudos to you for coming out the other side much less writing the book! Love, love, love the short pitch. I was instantly compelled to read the long pitch even though I'm not generally a fan of non-fiction. The long pitch too is great, although I'm a firm believer in not using parentheses in pitches. I've got nothing tangible to base this on, but it's a gut feeling after reading and experiencing just how freakin' picky literary agents are -- any excuse to toss us! ;) Backed and best of luck!

wordreiver wrote 827 days ago

Having just read the first chapter of this book I am left in awe. You have had me laughing out loud. I will definitely be back to read more when I get the time. I love your unique style, humour and voice. Refreshingly different. Good luck! GJ

wordreiver wrote 827 days ago

Having just read the first chapter of this book I am left in awe. You have had me laughing out loud. I willl definately be back to read more when I get the time. I love your unique style, humour and voice. Refreshingly different. Good luck! GJ

RichardBard wrote 828 days ago

This is compelling reading. Very unusual. Very thought provoking. Not my normal deal, but I love it!

Backed.

Richard Bard
BRAINRUSH