The Abomination

''Sex was going to murder him, it was just a matter of time.....'' Teenage boys would do well to remember this...

Nice, slow opener as the pace gradually picks up, wry descriptions and well-observed writing. I enjoyed the characterisation. In fact Robert reminds me of Michael Douglas's character in Wonderboys--very good! 5STARS BUT.....I want to see more!!!!!!

Browsing for something different, Brian, I hit on The Abomination and read three chapters nonstop. Robert is a work of art, and the dissolute ambiance is palpable. I see clearly the woman in the bar, smell the beer, hear Bard's monologue, and feel, throughout it all, Robert's hypochondriacal angst. It will be fascinating to learn where you go with this. I want to read on awhile and return with comments.

Meanwhile, would you take a look at The Doctor of Summitville? another different sort of novel. It will take you to an American farm town in 1927, where a young doctor starting his practice encounters an orphan immigrant girl and is soon compelled to free her from her abusive uncle. Gradually the tale becomes an edgy love story . . . Well, I'll spoil it if I go on. But I hope you'll read and enjoy it. Over 400 authors have been surprisingly complimentary but have left it stalled within sight of the editors desk.

Best regards, Bill

A very nice reading which could be termed as highly remarkable and deserves 6 stars. Will put it on my book shelf soon.

Hello Brian,
Just read the first two chapters. I liked this alot. I live in southern Sweden so it's familiar and rings true in most respects-är Du här i Norden?
It's all the right things-engaging, funny and perceptively written without falling into the high-faluting trap. I did notice that you like to group adjectives 'in-threes' but it's no biggy.
A very good read Brian! Should do well and stars/on WL from me.
Tusen tack och Lycka till!
John
Dropping Babies (noir tale with a swede in it that may tickle your elusive fancy).

With surgical skill you have administered a dose of your drug that will in 24 hours have me crawling back on my hands and knees begging for more. This Scandinavian black - or at least charcoal grey - comedy has me laughing out loud with its Amis [Kingsley and Martin] type aphoristic stream of consciousness, it's hapless 'Lucky JIm' style hero and its gallery of Norwegian alternative and not so alternative characters. And, to my joy, the story has only just begun. Highly starred. Good things can be found by randomly stumbling across them. I will return for more. There will be more. There must be more.

Hi Brian,

I'm not entirely sure what this is, but I like it, I really like it. It's dark, dirty and very amusing. In fact, I felt mildly hungover myself after reading the first chapter.

Got an idea which you are free to ignore, as Robert is a hypochondriac and obsessed with VD, how about he does use a condom (I really can't see somebody as paranoid as him not carrying them around) but gets himself into a froth anyway, and decides to go to the clinic in case there was a hole in it or something?

ABOMINATION
I liked this book a lot. At first glance, I wondered why it didn’t have more dialogue, but after reading the first three chapters, I’m happy it was written the way it was. The descriptions are so detailed and interesting, dialogue wasn’t necessary to hold my interest. Your characters are well defined; overall, a good read. I’m adding this to my shelf. Wanttobeawriter: Who Killed the President?

Anbefalt av en god venn av en venn.

Hi Bri

Well, my friend, I've read Chapter One and I'm going to read more before I leave a "proper" comment. Bear in mind that I am unpublished in terms of fiction, and probably have no more right to comment than anyone else.

You have some marvellous turns of phrase and a quirky sense of humour, somewhat reminiscent of a writer whose name escapes me for the moment. My only quibbles would be with regard to your sometimes imaginative use of punctuation, and a few other minor matters I won't bother you with just now.

Tonia

''Sex was going to murder him, it was just a matter of time.....'' Teenage boys would do well to remember this...

Nice, slow opener as the pace gradually picks up, wry descriptions and well-observed writing. I enjoyed the characterisation. In fact Robert reminds me of Michael Douglas's character in Wonderboys--very good! 5STARS BUT.....I want to see more!!!!!!

Ch2
In which Robert is inveigled into a medical experiment. Nicely done. I liked your introduction of the doctor and the way you have foreshadowed something would very likely go wrong if he tried to dud his IT person.

'There was' always makes me wince – because I used to do it myself. A lot. So... 'There was an endless queue'. Errk. An endless queue snaked around... or something
'There was a click'

I got a bit confused about the change of name to Reg Lime. I take it Mister Lime was created some time back? Because it seems as if the fiddling with the database is done just before he goes to the clinic. Yet he's tried to chat up the nurses before? Doesn't quite compute.

The bit about her wondering who Ted Bundy was is a funny line but you've moved to her POV. Fine if you're OK with it. I winced (I do that a lot). But then, I notice things like that.

Jeg Elser Musen Min. Huh? Couldn't work that one out – so the joke has thudded into the keeper's gloves.

Ch 3

I just love the guys in the house. You've created a great cast of characters, all different, all somehow the same.

Lompa looked over at Robert, who appeared to be – POV switch
Turid – 'she had moved in' You're meaning 'mind' but it caused me to backtrack.

Desk with lots of shit on it #1 – I'd back this book for just that one line. That and the name of the pub. Still giggling. So very 'university'. Would I read on? Yes – having worked my way past the introductory paragraphs, which for me were a bit over the top. When you settled into recounting your hero's previous evening's shenanigans, the style felt smoother, easier to read.

Technicalities
- too many adverbs. Sorry, but they jar. Maybe it's just me. The first one that prickled my spine was in your blurb 'jadedly plows through women'. You don't need it, the point is made. Then there's 'demonically', followed by 'sending bolts of lightning'.
- too many sentences starting with 'It' which is of itself (ha) a nothing word. “It vaguely reminded him” might be better written as “the sound vaguely reminded him” or you may well be able to concatenate the sentence before into the one containing the 'it'.
- I'd like to know the man's name as early as possible. I haven't related to this fellow freezing his nuts off on a college campus, his name helps me to do that. “as Robert shuffled”.

I read it all and cannot believe you've left us hanging like this. Given you say you've finished this book, why on earth do you break off before he gets his diagnosis?? Cruel!

Several characters here... like a man's Conscience arguing with his... well... you know the bits I mean. I love it - Roid, of course, is a fallen man and he knows it, though Denial is (as we all well know!) a strong beast at times. The mushroom trip seemed a bit mild for me... he really got off lightly - and managed to drink too?? Wow. What a guy.

I think you have to at least put another chapter up so we can see what happens when our Hapless Hero is told he has some strange disorder related to Abominable Snowmen...

nicely written thriller; quite slow build up [nothing wrong with that]. then you write with skill and competence all the way...
l shall back...
read SEASONS...

Loved the whole techno beauty thing - fabulous bit of imagining. Did you write this in 1999, or are you retro-ing it?

Very intriguing!

Interesting opening. I want to read more. I would make a number of smaller suggestions, but invite you to send me an email. wispyauthor@hotmail.com if that is of interest to you.

Will watch list this and keep reading.

Got my bedtime reading for tonight.