Borrowed Light

Hi Olive, a very belated read of Borrowed Light but goodness, what a wonderful read it is. I'm thoroughly enjoying it. It's beautifully written, I love the colloquial dialogue that puts me right in Ruth's head and your descriptions of Ireland on the 30s are just wonderful. The characters are beautifully drawn, narrative is tight and the pace moves on at just the right speed. Everything about it feels totally authentic. Love it. Not only that, the historical references make it an education as well. It's a wonderful book and it should go far. Highly starred and will be on my shelf when I do my next shuffle.

Melanie
La Vie en Rosé

I have nothing but praise for 'Borrowed Light.' Seen through the eyes of 96-year old Ruth, as she recollects her pivotal move from the 'wee county' of Louth to the big city of Dublin in 1932, Olive Field transports us back to the 'good old days' of pre-war Ireland - a time of charm, innocence, and bustling vitality. Everything is delightfully authentic - the finely drawn characters, the crisp colloquial dialogue, the evocative attention to period detail, and the regular drip-feed of contemporary news and politics. It is SO authentic indeed, that I wondered whether the author WAS Ruth, or at least had had first-hand access to her memories.

I particularly like the light touches of humour, Olive, you do these real well. That line "he thinks manual labour is a Spanish musician' cracked me up! Oh, and the way you convey mood and timbre with the minimum of description (e.g. Bewley's in chap 10) is first-rate. I loved Edward's story - the outsider Jewish bookworm who makes good - though he leaves at the end of your posted material. Will Ruth be seeing him again? I hope so!

An easy six stars from me, and on my list for future shelving.

Joe Kovacs
Rupee Millionaires

Thank you for putting this book up and letting me have the chance to read it.
Beautiful read that brings a smile to my face.
Lively and jovial, with captivating language.
I feel I really know Peggy and about Dublin, as you brought them to life delightfully.
Strong characters and a good pace and plot.
The dialogue adds colour and makes your narrative flow really well.
Your scenes are vivid and portrait like, and adds depth and colour to your writing.
I really enjoyed reading this.
Well done.

Borrowed Light is a beautifully told tale, filled with extremely descriptive prose that transports readers back to another time. Author Olive Field also makes perfect use of a prologue to set the story, one of the best I’ve experienced.

The main character of Ruth leaves home for the big city of Dublin in 1932. What follows is a distinctly Irish story dripping with memories that seem perfectly real to the point that I begin to wonder if Ruth may have actually been around at one point to relate her adventures to the author.

The period details are striking, pulling us right down to street level. There is quite a lot of dialog too, especially as we move farther into the ten chapters posted here. That’s great because Field does this very well, with each character speaking appropriately based on their social class, cultural norms and motivations in the story.

In terms of suggestions, I have two. First, I really did enjoy the prologue and the brief interaction between Ruth and Joan. I think it might be nice if some chapters start back in Ruth’s room, to let the women interact more so we could see their relationship and perhaps learn more of Ruth in modern day. Is she ill? Is she dying? Does she enjoy her time with Joan? Are the two women related? Did her adventures affect her in modern times (ie- she gets run over by a car and still has a limp or something like that). It might set itself up as a great side-tale that is also quite enjoyable, and help with characterization in a unique way, before Joan takes us back to the main story.

Secondly, the chapter numbers on the site don’t match up because of the way Authonomy works with prologues. I ran into this same problem. Consider making the first chapter “Prologue and Chapter 1.” Your prologue is short enough to do this, and it will make adding chapters and editing them much easier, plus keep readers on track.

Borrowed Light is a great tale well told. It should find a wide audience once published. If we learn more if Ruth in modern day too, a film based on this book would not be out of the question.

John Breeden II
Old Number Seven

~Borrowed Light~

“If I see the morning light, I know I’m still alive.” This is just one of the many gorgeous sentences I came across whilst reading Borrowed Light. I loved the Prologue and how you introduced Ruth in the present before exploring her earlier life stories - it reminded me a bit of Titanic and Rose Dawson telling her story.

I really liked the way it read like a diary, contrasting rural life in Stonetown with urban life in Dublin. I loved the language the character use - I learned a new word: Culchies, which I think means Country Boys?

Whilst reading, I felt as if I was watching a movie. So many vivid images of the characters within the communities jumped out at me!

I highly recommend Borrowed Light - such an entertaining and enlightening read. Now, I'm craving 'soup and freshly baked soda bread!'

I predict great things ahead for this book! - It really is a gem! Highly starred, backed and watchlisted!!

Iman xxx

Miss Manners: http://www.authonomy.com/books/39355/miss-manners

Hi Olive,
I read the prologue and first seven chapters of Borrowed Light. It's been a while since I read this the first time and I'm glad I came back to it. I absolutely love the prologue. The description of the elderly Ruth seen through her care-giver's eyes was perfect and set-up the frame for telling Ruth's story as memories that she'd told to the care-giver. I love that. Beginning with chapter one, Ruth's story immediately springs to life through very lively and vivid scenes in Ruth's first-person pov. The writing is very good, and you've done a wonderful job taking the reader back to the 1930's. Great job!

Susan/Greenleaf (Chameleon)

Olive,
I followed Ruth's first person POV around "Borrowed Light" and was impressed. A girl of marriageable age going to Dublin for her "future" is certainly worth shadowing if only to see the embarassing situations such a headstrong girl is capable of. She secures a love interest and then mayhem ensues. Your narrative with a hint of brogue is simply laid out and easy to follow, your dialogue just as clearcut. Thank you so much for the entertaining read.

Kenneth Edward Lim
The North Korean

I don't really like historical fiction but I'm glad I took a look at Borrowed Light. It is a charming story and well written. I used to work in a hotel myself so it was fascinating to go back in time and see how things were then. Ruth is a wonderful character. A young girl who is trying to find her place in the world and is both daunted and excited about what lays ahead. I also like the way you start the book through Ruth's memories which gives it more intimacy and prevents it from reading like a history book. Well done and I wish you well with your novel.

Kim (Pain)

I love the set up to the story. The descriptions are well presented and the characterisation good. All in all a lovely read. Will rate and put on WL for furthr reading. Well done.
Ruth2904
To Dream Again

Hello Olive
You have taken me on historical trip through Dublin, the Landmarks, the streets, the buildings and now the hotel workers. Great stuff!!

I can certainly relate to the dialect, tone and language... you portrayed these characters in an authentic way... for example the interactions between the cook and the handy-man, the banter, back and fourth... perfect... the innocence of the girls...but yet, the chat about the ceili's and the Saturday night entertainment and of course each one knowing that this job was the beginning of something new!

The emotions jump off the page, Ruth, although bed-ridden, her mind is crystal clear... a stranger curious about her life... I feel a spirit and soul in Ruth...

Fantastic generational story, each stage setting the tone for the next.

I would love to pick this book up at Eason's and I hope you will have many more to follow!

Highly starred!
Good Luck with this great piece of work

Thanks
FC

Your work is crisp and neat

Hi Olive,
returning your read of Mr Unusually's Circus of Dreams, thanks again for that.

There is lots to enjoy here. I like the character of Ruth, she has a lovely voice, funny and lyrical and down-to-earth. There's some lovely language here, very authentic and believeable. I love lines like "Patrick says he's lost his sweet tooth, now that he's sweet on Alex."

I quite liked the contrast between the caregiver's voice in Chp1 and Ruth's voice (in chp2 and beyond). You should do this more, don't just stick with Ruth's first person narrative. Someone mentioned below that it would be nice to contrast the here and now with Ruth's memories, those bits could be told from the care-givers POV. I think that's a brilliant idea. It would give a little more variety/texture to the prose. And as Maeve said, maybe it needs a bit more tension early on to hook the reader in more strongly. Not sure. Feel free to ignore, it's your book!
All the best with this, 5 stars from me.
Sharda.

Hi Olive. As an 83 year old myself I empathise with Ruth and really enjoyed her reminiscenses. Made me think about writing my own tale down before senility steals up on me and it all disappears. Well starred and will be shelved when i have space.. regards eric

A nice, descriptive and well written book. Your writing style is very impressive, dialogue are realistic with vivid charachters and narrative is at great pace. Highly rated.

This is a strong piece of period writing where descriptive details, dialogue and action all work together to give the reader a keen sense of time and place. Your character is likable and I enjoyed her point of view. The tone of the piece is very warm and pulls the reader in.

I thought the writing in the prologue was very good and you drew your scene with well chosen words. I have some doubts, though, about this kind of structure. I'm not sure what this narrative frame is going to add to the story unless there are going to be scenes between the two women. To me it felt a little artificial and perhaps unnecessary.

Best,
Kate
The Licenser

O Olive. Olive, Olive, Olive. Your cadences are to die for - lovely, dreaming things. I can hear my father's voice in them and they bring me back to when I was a child lying in bed, listening to his soft longing Irish tenor. And the little shrilling thrill of it too - in the Heart of Darkness way, the tale told by one, telling another, a telling of telling and yet somehow not too much telling - this is the height of the art, truly and I am startled and gloating, almost, because there is so little real daring in writing any more, and yet, and yet - I'm through the 4th chapter and where is my terror? You promised me terror, where is it? For god's sake give it to me soon, give it to me earlier, shake and make and frighten me and then, and after, when I am truly terrified and caught in your web of lies - thrill me then, show me all you gifts then, awe me then with your daring and your lovely god given gift for placing the right word at the right time, let me sit and glory then on the cusp of natural language and just relish, for a moment, the turn of a real phrase. But first terror, first lies. Then loveliness.

lies, lies, and statistics

Borrowed Light. An intriguing pitch, and an interesting approach to a story through the reminiscences of an old lady. I love listening to the tales of the elderly.
I take notes as I read, but dont pretend to be an expert.

Ch.1. A comfortable beginning, in the carer's viewpoint and the present tense.
Your writing would flow better if you searched out some unnecessary words and deleted them: still, always, began to.
I think you mean 'praying for all those who have gone before me' - as you give the sentence in speech marks.

Ch.2. Another little nit: you repeat 'home' in thefirst paragraph. Easily remedied.
Love that gem: future being another word for husband.
My eyes begin to glaze over as she arrives at the Hotel St. George, although your descriptions are detailed and well written. Perhaps introducing a bit of anticipation, or a problem other than Ruth's natural sorrow at leaving home, would serve to tickle the reader's interest?
'She moved as fast as she spoke.' Clever characterisation.

Ch.3. Maybe it's the unaccustomed dialect you use in the dialogue, which tires my brain. It would probably be okay if you dropped in the occasional Irishism to remind me of where we are...
But I got the joke about Friendly Fire, which made me smile!

Perhapsifyou strengthened the plot - devised an enticing hook at the end of each chapter to lure your readers to clicking onwards?

Thankyou for drawing my attention to your book, and for your support of mine.

Jane (Breath of Africa)

Olive this is lovely writing. The prologue is short, to the point and stops where it should. Thereafter the pace is one long, smooth jaunt, if not down memory lane, at least down grandparents’ memory lane. You have the vernacular so I can hear it in my head. Your thumbnail sketches of the different characters are so well done. I particularly liked your description of Father Tom and his look of desperation, and Peggy’s banter is a sketch. It reminds me of Clare Boylan’s writing (Room for a Single Lady in particular). I’ve read about half what you have posted, and that’s all I’ve done, not noted, not nit-picked. This isn’t the kind of book you’d be bothered to stop reading just to note down a missed comma. I just read it, with great enjoyment.
High stars because I think it’s probably publishable as it stands, and I’ll give it a whirl on my shelf when I change it next.
Jane

What a wonderful story this is...not generally my thing but this is just so well done that I could practically hear Ruth telling me her story.
Usually I like to mention things like typos I saw or sentences that could use work, but I didn't come upon a single instance of either. To me, this reads like a published book.
Great job, and I will be putting this on my shelf within the next few days. Highly star-rated for now.
Best of luck!
Emily

Olive, I so enjoyed reading your book. You brought a new place, a never-before seen place, to life. I had to look up a few peculiar words in the dictionary, too, but it read super well! Good character development, and Peggy's feistiness. The pace was good, it flowed well. I liked your writing style. Good dialogue, but I have a suggestion to make (that I don't know applies to your part of the woods). When you have a new character speaking, it's easier on the reader if you start a new paragraph. In all other respects, beautiful! Best wishes :)
T. Donna Robison (No Kiss Good-bye)

Olive,

I've just read your Prologue and Chapter One. Here are my thoughts:

This is a wonderfully well written start to a novel. I especially like the way you've structured this, with the opening scene, the carer giving us a little background about 96 year old Ruth, and how much she enjoyed listening to her stories. This grabs the reader's attention, and gives you free reign to tell Ruth's life-story in her own voice, which, from the outset, you capture wonderfully well.

Into Chapter One, there is nice pace and flow to your writing. You make great use of dialogue to give the reader an idea of the political situation bubbling away in the background, and capture all the excitement and trepidation of a young girl moving away from home for the first time.

On a technical front, I can honestly say nothing at all jumped out at me, be it a simple typo or anything which didn't read so well or felt extraneous - the sign of a very advanced draft.

All in all, a first rate opening, with a well-drawn, likeable protagonist, and a strong sense of time and place, and narrative voice.

Happy to give you a run on my shelf

Regards

NA 'The Butterfly and the Wheel'

Olive,

I was delighted by this wonderful story.
The first chapter, a very brief explanation as to who's story this is, hardly necessary as I feel the story on its own would be entertaining enough, but important from the perspective of setting how the story was related, and at what point in Ruth's life.

I loved the accent you gave Maeve. Unfortunately I gave her a Geordie accent in my head thanks to the punctuation and stuff, and once I discovered it she was from Limerick it was too late, so I'm afriad Ruth is stuck with a Geordie friend.

A nice free flowing narrative is bolstered by some wonderful dialogue. I could see nothing that needs correcting up to the end of chapter two. Lots of stars for this one.

Best wishes
Warrick

Hi Olive, a very belated read of Borrowed Light but goodness, what a wonderful read it is. I'm thoroughly enjoying it. It's beautifully written, I love the colloquial dialogue that puts me right in Ruth's head and your descriptions of Ireland on the 30s are just wonderful. The characters are beautifully drawn, narrative is tight and the pace moves on at just the right speed. Everything about it feels totally authentic. Love it. Not only that, the historical references make it an education as well. It's a wonderful book and it should go far. Highly starred and will be on my shelf when I do my next shuffle.

Melanie
La Vie en Rosé

I am so glad I found this book I love the way its written. I also enjoyed the way you describe dublin so much attention to detail.
I am going to read more. on my watchlist and highly starred.

Read through chapter nine. Lovely story set in a historically important time in Dublin. I liked the character of Mrs C . So true, so many people use little put downs to make themselves feel more important. Ruth is a lovely lady in both forms...ninety-six and fourteen. I enjoyed the relationship with her two sisters, and how Lizzie made the dress for her.
I see by your long pitch that if I read on, Ruth would have something very serious to deal with, perhaps a rape with a child born out of wedlock at a young age?
Your descriptions of the historical happenings in Dublin at this time made me feel like I was witnessing them along with Ruth. Great storytelling that's not overwhelmed with metaphors.
Highly starred and watchlisted!
Georgia
The Woman From E.A.R.L.

Hi Olive
I caught sight of your book and felt it looked like a good read, so here I am. I have thoroughly enjoyed the first chapters of your book. You have a very easy to read, simple style which drives the story forward as well as provides the descriptive narrative which evokes this bygone time in Dublin. The words you use are gentle as I imagine Ruth to be but given your pitch things are going to become a bit fraught soon! I'm looking forward to reading more. A very likeable story.
All the best.
Julia
Shadow Jumper

Hist.Fict.review:'Borrowed Light' is a fast moving story of day-to-day (1930s) events that holds the reader's interest with concrete details of dialogue and action. There is just enough explanation ('Mr. Clarke didn't like goodbyes') to cue the reader in on what's happening on the emotional level. The leaving-home scene is moving and the account of the heroine's first experience of Dublin is good in itself and also foreshadows future conflicts skilfully. Peggy introduces humor into the story. I haven't got very far but am anxious to read more.
Nitpicks: somewhere in Chap.2 or 3. we get rather long passages with perhaps too much detail (though still admirably concrete). Obviously well-researched but the research is not intrusive. Anne

Ruth is a wonderful character, and I love the Irish voice of the narrative. I'm putting this on my watch list, and it's going to my shelf in a day or two.

BTW, about the pitch: 'changed her life forever' has become such a trite phrase these days; I wonder if you might find a replacement. And also, is 'carer' a Britishism? At first I thought it was a misspelling of 'career,' then realized it meant 'caregiver.'

Best of luck with this book!
Carolyn Brown Heinz - Mage at Midnight

This is a very absorbing lstory about the memiors of a ninety-six year old woman, as told to her caretaker. It is a real page turner, well informative and keeps the reader guessing till the end. Very well written and easy to follow. The descriptions in the book give the reader a true insight as to what the author wants to achieve.
Senga.

Great. well researched historical piece. It obviously was a lot of hard work putting this together and it shows. For someone who is a world away from Ireland like me, you laid the subject out wonderfully and it was easy to catch on and read.

You are certainly an able writer. You have a great story, perfect word choice and dialogue. It had great flow and rhythm. I enjoyed it very much. I will rate you high. Be blessed, Lacy

Love this book! The prologue, short and charming, in modern language, shows off by contrast what a fine strong voice you've got for Ruth. I think dialect often fails, but this succeeds brilliantly. Peggy cracks me up! Manuel labor a Spanish musician! Can't exaggerate being dead! This is a wonderful book so far. Shelving, and will read on!

well structured story, but your short pitch uses poor grammar...
j
what every woman should know

I reread the first two chapters. Although I found some of the dialogue different, i did enjoy the read. Ruth 96 with such a sharp mind. Well done!
Regards, Red
Illusions of Comfort

Borrowed Light is a book that has transported me in time and place. Not only does the writing flow well and the dialogue enhance character develpment, there is also much entertainment in the colourful characters created eg Peggy the cook and her jibes, '...he thinks manual labour is a Spanish musician!' I find the social and historical context interesting eg the Eucharistic Congress and High Mass in Phoenix Park - and experiencing it from Ruth's point of view makes it so much more satisying.
High stars from me. Maria (Georgina's Family)

Borrowed Light.
Olive, I've been reading more of this irresistible story. and have dropped in to tell you how much I appreciate the flavour - the fun of the dialogues, so informative about characters and situations, the descriptions of Dublin and the crisp style of the narrative
By the way, it's a drawer for clothes not a draw.
Very best wishes with this unputdownable book! It will stay on my WL till an early backing is possible
David Grant
"Pompey Chimes"

I read your book for the first time some time ago I have just re read it both my daughter and i where brought to tears at the wake scene. The humour in your book is very real and makes you laugh out loud.. what a pleasure cant wait to read it in full

Wonderful clear atmosphere of the early last century, and mastery of language. Vivid images of Ruth, and you make me like her so much. I love it when the persons come alive for me and i don't want to part from them.
Highly starred
Leelah saachi

I read the first three chapters word for word and went quickly through the rest of it.

Beautifully written, and a nice period piece. You do a good job with establishing atmosphere here.

It's also always a pleasure to read a clean MS, although you have, as I'm sure you know, a minor problem with consistently using a tab at the beginning of paragraphs. No big deal and easily corrected. Either way is fine as long as you're consistent.

I really like the description of Ruth in the first chapter, especially the detail of her glasses being to big for her head. Perfect.

I was expecting you to break up Ruth's life story with jumps back to the present, as she interacts with her caregiver. I think the periodic contrast of the young Ruth with the old one would be good. Also, I'm mildly curious about the caregiver and would like to know more about her. You may have the book completely done, so what I'm suggesting here may be too much to consider. However, if you haven't, you might really be able to make this even richer if you add more to the relationship between old Ruth and her caregiver. Also, hopping back in forth in time could add an added dimension to the novel (in this case, I suppose the fourth dimension ;) ).

You say about Frederick I believe that "Americans have a strange sense of humor." You're right there. My book may not be to your taste, but if you want a heavy dose of American humor, no matter how strange, don't forget to stop by and take a look at Hell's Super.

Meanwhile, high stars for your book. Good job! Best,

Mark
Hell's Super
http://www.authonomy.com/books/40009/hell-s-super/

I have nothing but praise for 'Borrowed Light.' Seen through the eyes of 96-year old Ruth, as she recollects her pivotal move from the 'wee county' of Louth to the big city of Dublin in 1932, Olive Field transports us back to the 'good old days' of pre-war Ireland - a time of charm, innocence, and bustling vitality. Everything is delightfully authentic - the finely drawn characters, the crisp colloquial dialogue, the evocative attention to period detail, and the regular drip-feed of contemporary news and politics. It is SO authentic indeed, that I wondered whether the author WAS Ruth, or at least had had first-hand access to her memories.

I particularly like the light touches of humour, Olive, you do these real well. That line "he thinks manual labour is a Spanish musician' cracked me up! Oh, and the way you convey mood and timbre with the minimum of description (e.g. Bewley's in chap 10) is first-rate. I loved Edward's story - the outsider Jewish bookworm who makes good - though he leaves at the end of your posted material. Will Ruth be seeing him again? I hope so!

An easy six stars from me, and on my list for future shelving.

Joe Kovacs
Rupee Millionaires

Convincing and entertaining. Deservedly backed.
Owen

Yes. Olive, this book, which I've only sampled, has great potential, not only as a film, but as an absorbing and heart-warming read, with a specially individual touch.
There are some details which might put off an editor too soon:
Prologue: "Ah/comma/it's you/comma/pet"
"Loved and well cared/hyphen/for"
"Just like reading a good book". As it's colloquial,.a verb-less sentence wouldn't be out of place.
Each week . . . pleasantries/full stop/ Then Ruth would ask . . ."
"Where was I last week/comma/pet?"
Chap.1: "a tall grey/hyphen/haired man"
"idle chit/hyphen/chat"
"loosing" meant as "losing".
Repeated missing commas.
I hope to read more soon. It's a promising story and is starred and on my w/l.
David Grant,
"Pompey Chimes"

I like the fluidity of this story. I like the way you opened the story in the prologue. That added a sweetness to the story. This makes me look back on my life, and wonder what kind of story it would be if told like this. I left for the air force when I was a young girl, and i remember how it felt to leave behind everything you knew for a place that was so far away. Good job painting this picture!

Sincerely,
D. S. Hale
Jessup and the Teleporter

I like the fluidity of this story. I like the way you opened the story in the prologue. That added a sweetness to the story. This makes me look back on my life, and wonder what kind of story it would be if told like this. I left for the air force when I was a young girl, and i remember how it felt to leave behind everything you knew for a place that was so far away. Good job painting this picture!

Sincerely,
D. S. Hale
Jessup and the Teleporter

BORROWED LIGHT
This is a wonderful story. Ruth is a great main character; she’s spunky and courageous to be moving so far away from home. I like the way you detail that everything at the hotel looked like; really made me feel I’d stepped back in time to 1932.It took me a minute to realize that the ninety year old woman in the first chapter was the same as the young one in the second. I wonder if you shouldn’t begin the second chapter with a firm statement that you’re jumpimg back in time at that point. Either way, this is a fun read. I’m adding it to my shelf. Wanttobeawriter: Who Killed the President?

Borrowed Light - by Olive Field
I do not critique on matters of grammar and punctuation as there are others on this site more qualified to concentrate on these points. My evaluation is based on: storytelling, character development, flow of the plot, and overall structure of the writing.

Firstly, I enjoyed this tale of a young woman leaving home for the first time to make her way in the city. Immediately I was drawn into the emotion of Ruth's first venture as I have 3 grown daughters, and it brought back memories of each one branching out on her own.

One thing I noticed early on is the use of short sentences such as the following;
"Lizzie and Alice had both been successful. They had found good futures in Dublin. Lizzie found John Byrne, a bricklayer by trade. He hadn't stopped working since the end of the Civil War in 1923. He was six years older than Lizzie. She was nineteen when they married just over a year ago. Ma was always wondering had they any announcements to make! She was very excited a the prospect of becoming a granny."

The above might have a better flow if reworked:
"Lizzie and Alice both had been successful in finding good futures in Dublin. Lizzie met and married John Byrne, an employed bricklayer who was six years her senior, and they were married just over a year ago. Ma and Da have been waiting anxiously for the announcement of their first grandchild."

The reader is given some insight into Lizzie, but what of Alice. It might be nice to add a short update on Ruth's other sister as well.

As this is told in first person, from Ruth's point of view, it would be nice to gain some insight of her feelings toward people and events. You start to do this in the following passage when Ruth first comes to the Hotel:

"As I looked around I caught my reflection in the mirror. My shiny black hair remained neatly pinned in place and my blue eyes looked very dark under the brim of my biscuit coloured hat. My four sisters all had fair hair. When Ma brushed my long hair she'd say, 'I hope this doesn't mean you will be the black sheep of the family'. Lizzie always said I was just the runt of the litter. I felt very tatty standing in this room in my Sunday best."

The above passage has a nice beginning, giving the reader some information regarding Ruth's appearance and character. I would keep the last sentence, but I would remove the previous2 sentences as they offer detail unnecessary to the story.

Although this needs some editing to clean up the structure (some spelling, grammar, and punctuation) it has the potential of a wonderful story many would enjoy. I will give good stars and place it on my shelf when room is available.

P Alan Davis
The Red Poppy
Raindancer

There are very few books when you start the first chapter, without knowing read on to the last, this is one of those books. If you want a fascinating read with real fun laughter and a touch of sadness this is the book you should read. I had a well spent Saturday afternoon reading it. Thank you Olive.

We Irish girls stick together. Happily backed!

A beautifully written story, set in an interesting period of Irish history. The dialogue was fantastic - lively and convincing - and it's easy to keep reading as we can't wait to find out what happens to the characters.
A couple of small typos - 'sent' for 'scent' in the prologue, and 'Dad's big bother' in Chapter 1 - I presume that should be 'brother.
I'm sure 'Borrowed Light' will soon find a publisher,
regards, Rosemary

This is a tonic! Very entertaining and interesting. Backed with pleasure.
Laurence Howard, The Cross of Goa.

I've read the prologue and first four chapters. Wonderful book. Well-written. You told me a message that this is your first book. You've done an amazing job with your first attempt at writing. It took me a few minutes to realize that the story was about Ruth, the elderly woman in the prologue. I couldn't find Ruth's name mentioned in the book again until chapter 4. I agree with Stark Silvercoin's suggestion about showing more of the relationship that appeared in the prologue. I also agree that the descriptions, the prose, and the characters were amazing. I can't wait to read more. Great work, Olive.

Dear Olive

I have read the prologue and the first four chapters of "Borrowed Light" and intend to read on. You have given us a very engaging read, full of detail, colour and fun. I enjoy the view back in time. I find your characters excellently drawn, their situations interesting and sympathetically conveyed. The dialogue is realistic, without being at all difficult to follow. I want to know what happens next, which is always the mark of a good story. All the very best with this.

Fran Macilvey, "Trapped" :-))

Thank you for putting this book up and letting me have the chance to read it.
Beautiful read that brings a smile to my face.
Lively and jovial, with captivating language.
I feel I really know Peggy and about Dublin, as you brought them to life delightfully.
Strong characters and a good pace and plot.
The dialogue adds colour and makes your narrative flow really well.
Your scenes are vivid and portrait like, and adds depth and colour to your writing.
I really enjoyed reading this.
Well done.

(Prologue - Chapter 4)

Hi Olive,

This is a lively read and I enjoyed it. The humour you've brought into it what Peggy is one of its strongest points and writing with dialect contributes a lot to that. Your characters feel very real and the comic nonchalant relationships between them really make them come alive. The descriptions of Dublin work very well and I particularly enjoyed reading about the Eucharistic Congress, of which I know little - you really captured the city in that time I think. The writing is quick, snappy and a pleasure to read - it suits the charcaters too, writing in this way.

I've too critical observations. The first would have made me put it down in a bookstore - at home in Louth I felt you released the historical context in an uncouth way - which goes against the rest of your writing. It felt as if it were fitted in rather than part of the exchanges between the characaters. And this did crop up at times, like when she called the Pope his full name - would that really have been done? But it didn't interfere with my reading once in Dublin.

The second is the explanations to some of the character's dialogues and gestures which make Rose feel sovially inept when she tells us someone said something jeeringly, when its clear in the words and context, or describes Peggy as showing true affection. These did hamper reading it a little bit.

But don't take those criticisms too seriously, they're very minor and I very much enjoyed this. Great read.

Joe