Home From Home

Hi Hermione,
I've been meaning to comment on your book ever since your kind words about mine. I just wanted to say that I enjoyed the bits of this I read very much - more actually than your other one - perhaps because the subject matter interested me more as a walker but also because of the style in which it is written. The switch from past to present tense threw me occasionally although I really can't think why - it's entirely appropriate to the diary format you're using and does give a sense of living the journey alongside you. I've added more to my Carpet Shop if you're not sick of reading on screen.
Best wishes, Lucy

Good opening. Your voice is smooth, simple and interesting. It creates a nice pacing for the reader.This is a fascinating idea and you have a great way of keeping the reader's attention I like the use of various dates. The point of view is great and the reader's can really get into this sort of novel. I think this has a lot of potential in the world of books and I wish you the best of luck on reaching the Editor's Desk. I will see if I can get some of my friends to check it out and will find a spot for in on my desk as soon as I can.

Auna June
Catalaysia: The Curse of Five

The problem with "road trip" books is that whilst they have a ready structure (the trip), beginning middle and end, they also have to have some sort of plot, interest and character development, or insight into the passing events and people in order to make them interesting or stand out from the rest of the similar books.

Your story at the moments reads like someone's holiday snaps, or cine movies, with lots of interesting detail but no real cohesion or style that turns it from a slightly overlong evening with the relatives into a rivetting read.

I think you need to work out some sort of style to the book, from recovery from your partners death, escaping from loneliness, bizarre people watching as a passing tourist, or psychedelic culture criticism, as some of the other "road Trip" books are.

I don't think you're a fool at all, as a matter of fact I am really enjoying this and I hope you're able to have it printed. I think it will make a great book.

[Home from Home]

Hermione, sorry for getting back to you so late after you so graciously read a Shadow In A Shady Country. I'm not Dutch - it's worse, I'm Belgian and loving it.

Now, your story. It starts well. You draw me in so fast I can't help but want to come along. There is, however, one big shortcoming (if you could call it that way): there are only few dialogues and they are far in between. I understand there is little to say when you travel by your own, but your first dialogue is on day 4 and then there is another one in day 9. They are all very short, but they flow with so much ease that you really should think about getting more dialogue. Also, it adds something to your story that you can't add in any other way.

That last paragraph, haemorrhaging cash... Yes, it's so beautifully worded. I often feel I do that all the time. ;?) You are a gifted story teller with a precious humor. This story really deserves to be published, though I would suggest adding more dialogues into it. It's my only advice, really.

Good luck with it.

Peter

Hermoine, this book would be great for anyone that is thinking of trekking. I read bits and pieces of it and you enable the writer to "get the picture" so to speak. I can imagine reading this book on a beach somewhere :O)
Wishing you well with it all. Salwa

Loving it already!