The Chair

This is a beautiful story. If I have any constructive criticism then I would say that there is no need to justify yourself, or Michael's vision, quite so much. It breaks the flow up, or at least it did for me.

It was actually one of the side stories that spoke to me the most, God works in mysterious ways!

Lorna

THE CHAIR
This is an interesting true story. I ask my mother to pick up one of my kids from soccer practice just like in this story and I’m always afraid she thinks it’s a chore for her. So this story gave me a new slant on things: maybe I’m helping my son develop a special relationship with his grandmother he otherwise wouldn’t have the way as happens in this story. But enough about me: I’m here to comment on the book, not my life: it’s a good story. You have a good writing style; clear and straightforward so it’s easy to follow. If I wish for anything, it would be for you to quote what Michael sounds like when he speaks in tongues. Is it a known foreign language or a secret one of his own. Either way, I enjoyed this. Highly starred and added to my shelf. Wanttobeawriter: Who Killed the President?

Hello Lynn,
Michael and his grandmother have such a unique and spiritual connection. It occured to me that this would be a fantastic read for summer bible school or students of Christian Academies. Have you considered submitting this to Tate Publishing? If you haven't, I think you should. I found myself opening my bible reviewing chapter and verse in the context of your story. Beautiful! I noticed your classification says incomplete. Please complete it and promote, promote, promote!
All th best to your promisin future,
Terri

Hello Lynn. I'm on Chapter 4. This is quite fantastical.

I love your cover, pitch, and the angle of Grandma believing the boy. Does your grandson ever talk about the experience these days and has it affected his relationships with other children?

Thank you for writing this down! I'm wondering if you are planning to add any chapters. Does you grandson continue to have experiences or has he moved on?

Sincerely. Stacy G.

I also wanted to mention the thoughtful touch about Paul. I had never thought of the possibility of his vision being a near-death experience but on reflection I think you may well be right. I also like your discussion about animals in heaven and the way you think aloud about something which contradicts what you have previously been taught or thought. I could relate to that and these touches enhance your story further.

Sorry this has been posted as a second comment but somehow I didn't get this included in my first review comment!

God Bless you

Margaret
How do I know I know God?

Lyn this is an amazing story that you have to tell! How privileged you are to have such a grandson and for God to have revealed this vision to him. I read all nine chapters of your book and there are many things I love about it as follows:

The wonderful way your love for your grandson comes across and the way you have such a close bond with him; the love you have for the Lord and for His Church also comes across very strongly; your love and respect for the Pastor; your wisdom in the way you learned from past experience and were therefore able to allow your grandson to tell you everything in his own way; the way we could see that your grandson was a normal boy with a love of soccer - and yet had this extraordinary experience. The book causes me to praise God! There is just so much to like about the story.

The book is very good as it is but I also wondered if you had thought about combining your own vision experience, and your daughter's and your grandson's? Three generations - a gift from God going down the generations. I think this would be very powerful indeed.

God Bless you for sharing this with us all.

Margaret
How do I know I know God?

I just began reading your book. the build up is exciting. I haven't heard much about stories between grandparents and grandchildren. This makes it more interesting because it's different; their spiritual relationship establishes a special bond that young Michael may not even have with his parents. I'm just getting started.
So soccer moms are as bored as I thought they would be!
You have me hooked. Terri

Dear Lyn,
It is not easy to make public such personal experiences with God. I know there a quite a number of similar books on the market, but obviously God is giving people these visions, so they will enthusiastically spread the message of the Gospel and the Kingdom of God. After all, time is drawing to a close, and He doesn't want anyone to miss hearing the message. I have had a very real relationship with God since I was 5 (though my parents were not Christians, but I went to Sunday School). At 8 years old, I dedicated my life for God's service, and it has been the most wonderful, fulfilling adventure (though not without pain and heartache). I have had a number of special experiences with God and have experienced visions on occasions. God bless you for sharing. I will come back and finish the book, as I am interested in where Michael is up to now, in his walk with God. If you have time, would you please take a look at THE GOD PLEASERS?

Just finished reading The Chair, and I must give it 5 stars overall. I struggled through the early chapters due to the fact I have read several books with somewhat similar storylines. The fact those books are still readily available could either be a positive or negative for your market. And that was the very point that recurred to me as I kept looking for something to jump out at me in the early chapters. As a Christian I would highly recommend this book to others, and as an avid reader I must say it is well worth the effort to keep reading because the book has a wonderful story to share. God Bless! Regards, Walt

Well..I just read several chapters, unfortunately this tends to relate to several books I have read about people claiming vists to either heaven or hell. My point is where will the market be for another suchbook. You did spend time to build up to the story, however I found myself losing interest and moving forward in the chapters looking for something to keep my attention. Sorry I cannot find anything even as a Christian Brother that captivates me. I hope and wish that your book does well and is a blessing to those who read it. Just need to be honest, nothing there that intrigues me to keep reading. I will offer you the same opportunity to critic Step Into The Light which is my initial work and hope to recieve an honest opinion. Good Luck and God Bless. Regards, Walt

Wow, you got me confused, Walt. You express a disappointment in my story, yet you backed and shelved my book? I appreciate your honest critique. Interesting.
Lynn

I was asounded by the writing and the story. I have a 9 year old and can only imagine her telling me something so profound and real. I believe this book will do well. Congrats
Always J

As you admitted, this is a quite incredible story. As you also noted, there have been quite an appreciable number of claims to such experiences. For some reason I’m not sure I can explain, I tend to be skeptical about putting much stock in them, even though it seems that such works tend to have a popular appeal. This of course does not mean that the claims are false. Indeed, I have no reason to doubt the truthfulness of your report. That said, your writing is quite good and you have a voice that calms the reader and draws him into the story. But I think the introduction is a bit too long, even though there is no overt indication of the first section being an introduction. That is something you might want to attend to. You should also indicate the chapters. In what appears to be the first chapter, you also take a bit too long before delving into the real issue. Why don’t you cut down on those background material and introduce them as intermittent flashbacks as you proceed with the actual subject. This is just so you don’t lose the reader early in the book. There are also a few structural and punctuation errors that could be cleaned out. I particularly did not like you writing “bible” with a small “b.” I believe the work has potential with a proper placement. Blessings always.

There's no doubt this is an incredible story. I was surprised at first as in most cases the person who has visions or encounters are usually near death. This is not the case here.
Michael is blessed to have a grandmother who believes him and holds strong to her faith. I have rated this well. Thanks for sharing this story with all of us.
Sincerely, Red

This truly is an incredible story just as your blurb promises. It made me think about things and look at things differently. Thank you.

Thanks, your comment is the reason I shared this story with the world!

Wow, you were right I do love this book! The way you describe everything in your plot is really quite amazing. This book has an amazing future!
Thanks,
Scott

Thanks so much!

Loving that I've been backing and watching this book keep climbing to the number 1 position!

I could care less if my book ever gets published as long as this one does. Can't wait! ~Kady Colter, Shakespeare's Pink Cadillac

You are such a doll! Thanks so much!

I enjoyed reading your book. There are children all over the United States right now that are going to be Christian ministers at age 13. I uploaded the rest of my book Oleand The Guardian Angel today.
I have had the same experiences of shooting out of my bed at night just like he did. I landed next to a stream that was entering into a beautiful lake and a large fish swam up to me that was beautiful and friendly---I actually held him for a couple seconds--seemed "human" like as written in your book

Marti ----Oleand The Guardian Angel

Dearest Lynn, I welled with tears more than once while reading Michael's incredible sacred journey of Truth told to his believing Grandmom. Blessings to you for your open mind and I thank you for inviting me to read ~ I'm so glad I did ~ I devoured your story in less than an hour today :)

Michael has important tasks awaiting his future just after he's done being a child. I too had visions that started at the age of 5 ~ the same age the dark one came to pester me the first time but that's another book. I felt many of the same feelings your beloved grandson felt after angels would come whisk me on nightly adventures only to be left earth bound in this reality but I prevailed, kept praying, kept bonding with God and kept waiting for my mission.

If you ever have any questions about angels and demons and the true roles they play in their realm but affect us in this one, please feel free to email me. The Archangels are available for everyone to battle harassment, temptations and bad habits, just to name some challenges we face. More and more people will be getting illuminated in 2012. Talk about staying sober LOL ~ you don't want to miss any of this good stuff on the way!!

Angels Abound . . .
Mia
THY KINGDOM COME ~ The True Story

Lynn, I love this book a lot. I read the nine chapters and just loved it. I had a sense of God's Spirit in a strong way as I read the story. You documented it beautifully maintaining the sense of emotion you felt and your grandson felt. I thought you did a wonderful job because something like this would be so hard to bring across to a general audience of people. You did a great job of explaining (with reverence) the gifts of God's Spirit.

"In Heaven you just know what you're seeing." I think as I remember from the story was what your grandson said, and I was just left amazed by the thought of the understanding God imparted to this boy.

I know that when God "chooses" someone the road will likely not be easy, and of course you explained that well in your book and I am so happy to know your grandson is surrounded by the support of your church. I will tell my church about him as well and we will pray for him and all of your family.

This story is a powerful witness, Lynn. I am so glad you provided this for the world to read. May this witness of God's love speak to the hearts of all who read it. It doesn't end here, though some aren't convinced of that. This book will help them have more understanding. I believe that.

By the way, I enjoyed your grandson's emphasis on the beauty of the flowers in Heaven. wonderful!

Great writing, Lynn. You've used your talents well! julie

Loving that I've been backing and watching this book keep climbing to the number 1 position!

I could care less if my book ever gets published as long as this one does. Can't wait! ~Kady Colter, Shakespeare's Pink Cadillac

Hello Lynn-
book- The Chair-

read all nine chapters-
After reading the first, I couldn't wait to get to the others to hear about Michael's story-
And what a delightful , suspenseful and inspiring story it is-As the narrator, grand-mum
brings me along-
I can relate to children getting bored in church, I see it every Sunday as i play music with the
children's choir- and do love the story about speaking in tongues- brings to mind the tower of babel
story- and my dismay when a priest told me ' it's only a fallacy;
The story line her, gets better as it moves along- indeed, I loved what Michael saw in heaven, and the
angels of course
A Christian book which i recommend to all, highly rated. Inspirational indeed--

good luck and God bless
tom bye-Dublin Ireland
gur a mait agat agus go nHeri an botair leat- slan-
book - from hugs to kisses'
oblige and look at mine, you will love chapters 16, angels and heaven-and 22 and 23-

Hey Lynn,

On Chapter Four now, your writing is seamless, at no point is it too slow or too furious, it has a calming effect if anything. Not being a religious person myself I found it odd how it speaks to me. I'm not eloquent enough to put it into words. But anyway, excellent writing, going on my watchlist (what an honour that is eh!). Thanks.

Michael

Oh my gosh, Lynn! I have no trouble believing every word of Michael's story. I loved every part of the story. It meant a lot to me that he mentioned the little creatures that were like dragonflies because over and over the Lord sent dragonflies to me to give me assurances about Dane. And the scripture you use at the end of the book, Jeremiah 29:11, has been a scripture God gave me many years ago. Since Dane's death God has shown me so much more about Heaven than I ever knew. He told me plainly that Dane's fruit would come through his death. I've seen Dane's God's promise for that being fulfilled not only through my story, And God Sent the Dragonflies, but in the doors He has opened for me to go into rehab centers to speak with addicts, to give them assurance that God wants a better life for them. I absolutely loved the story. I'm giving you high stars and will back your book. God bless you and sweet Michael. Elsie (Danehagen)

This truly is an incredible story just as your blurb promises. It made me think about things and look at things differently. Thank you.

Hi Lynn. I read all of your book this evening. I thoroughly enjoyed it. I too have experienced the Holy Spirit in a way that felt like warm oil being poured over my head. I described the experience in my book: "Amazing Promise - How Sweet The Sound." This sort of thing has never even been mentioned in the churches I have attended all my life. I would like to send you a note asking you about your experience with the Holy Spirit, too, if you don't mind (I love talking about spiritual things!). You said “demonic forces set against him to steal the joy of his heavenly experience from him.” This (stolen joy) actually happened to me because I had no one to pray prayers of protection over me when I was anointed by the Holy Spirit. It's been almost two years and the joy is still only very, very slowly coming back.

I rated your book 6 stars. As I read it, I did find some small things to help you make this book the best it can be. I made a list of some of them (See below. I hope you can understand my notations. If not, let me know). Donna, below, probably covered most, if not all, of the ones I found. There are some sentence fragments in the story; some writers don't mind them and some do. I don't like them because I want only the best reflection on our Lord Jesus and our Heavenly Father. The story itself is a beautiful reflection on Jesus!

Overall, I loved the story and I liked your storytelling very much. As I said, look for a message from me, Lynn.
Carl
Amazing Promise - How Sweet The Sound

Nine-year old humor, that is. (fragment)
Most of the time, to no avail.
“bible” should be capitalized
open doors -> opened doors
When you address “Christian readers” directly, it feels awkward here
Holy Spirit said to him -> say to him
…tongues is the listed -> tongues is listed
It’s actually the next to the last gift on the list; interpretation is last
most accessible gift needs a period.
he get in trouble -> he would get in trouble
I was in an evangelistic meeting – sentence is too long and compound
as if I he feared -> as if he feared
stood up and mimic -> mimicked
at the how beautiful -> at how beautiful
people who were walking with angels,
Michael escaped???
beautiful fields, extending as far as my eyes could see
went there were brightly colored
“as the heartbeat of heaven?” is this his words or yours?
over a hill tht -> that
I don’t blame her. -> I don’t blame him.
very *few* detailed descriptions
very tall shelve -> very tall shelf
customers *who* make fine
First you mentioned a golden door (singular) and then you said it was golden doors (plural)
“scriptures” should always be capitalized
Book of *Psalms* (For a verse reference, use Psalm xxx:xxx or abbreviate it as you do with Ps. xxx:xxx)
I *laid* back down on the bed
“That’s all I can to tell you -> That’s all I can tell you
“He knew that was confirmation from God…” …But you don’t say or emphasize the fact that she knew the Lord wanted them to move to Oregon but that her husband had never told her that.
“Even though his mother felt the same way…” …consider adding ”that I did” to make this clearer. There are a few other areas that need a little clarity as well.

Lynn,

One chapter into your book and I had goose bumps running up and down my arms. I couldn’t put your book down until I read the whole thing! What a special grandson you have and how blessed you are to have been the one to hear his story first hand. You retell Michael’s experience with the heart of a Grandmother who loves just as deep as her faith. Although it is a challenge to describe things that are virtually unknown to man, you were given a gift to somehow convey the sense of awesomeness and wonder of heaven. It moved me to a firmer resolve to stand strong in my own faith. Thank you. Six Stars!

Dianna Lanser
Nothing But The Blood

This is an amazing story. It has me spellbound. I just finished chapter 4, and eagerly anticpating the next chapter. Your writing is fluid, and your writing style is good for this kind of story. I am captivated by your grandson's vision. I've had a dream about heaven, and got just a peek into my home in heaven. it is beautiful, and the colors are undescribable. I believe him! Good luck with this!

Sincerely,
D. S. Hale
Jessup and the Teleporter

Lynn...I just finished reading your book. I spread it out over 4 or 5 sessions. I see that TDonna has done a good job of editing on a chapter by chapter basis. Your publisher someday soon will have a text editor who will do some final polishing. This book is very well written, kept my interest, and has a powerful message. I have been a Christian for 41 years...was saved and Spirit-filled at age 18. This is a story that I will keep with me for the rest of my life on this earth. I do not know how many Christian publishers, large and small, use Authonomy as a tool for selecting promising books. I think your book should be published, if not by one of the larger Christian publishers, at least by a smaller one. I would disagree slightly with some of the earlier comments about your first chapter...I thought it set up well the context of your relationship with your grandson and did not read slow or flat to me. Also I liked your very honest and straightforward approach to the dilemna of a 9-year old asking about the Baptism of the Holy Spirit with praying in tongues. I thought you did a wonderful job of navigating through that using good judgment, discernment, and wisdom in how you presented that to Michael and how you wrote about it in the book. You have written a wonderful book that will bless a large number of people. God bless you.
Bart Jahn

Wow, you were right I do love this book! The way you describe everything in your plot is really quite amazing. This book has an amazing future!
Thanks,
Scott

I have just finished chapter two and I like the way you keep the reader wondering what is going to happen next. Your story is well written and flows well although I would like to see a little more of the actual story woven into the description and backstory. Nice job with this work. Good luck.

Hi, Lynn,
Just finished your second chapter. I would have to say that I see doctrinal differences between us, as you expected, but your writing style is very readable. Your description is clear and simple, in a good way.

Jonie

Thanks Jonie.

Lynn,

What a special relationship you have with your grandson! Some of your story reminds me of a friend of mine who is very spirit-filled and not surprisingly, her grandson, just like yours, began speaking in tongues at a young age and frequently sees into the spiritual realm. What a holy bloodline both of you must have!!

Many blessings to you!

Patti

Thank-you for your words of encouragement!

Dear Lynn

I have just read the first three chapters of "The Chair" and just wanted to leave a comment before reading more.

I do not belong to any evangelical tradition, yet I appreciated your common sense approach in setting the context of your story. Nothing in the seeming ordinariness of your first chapter could have prepared me for the beauty of what unfolds in the following chapters, the visions that you share with us. I get the shivers.

Certain biblical reminders I find timely: unless we act with love, all that we do comes to nothing. How often I have read that passage, "I may give up my body to be burned, but if I have not love I am a sounding gong or a clanging cymbal...." , and not truly understood it. I have also had experiences that speak of unconditional love and am immensely reassured by what I read in your story.

Your writing is gentle, conversational and very easy to get along with. Thank you for sharing.

All the best

Fran Macilvey, "Trapped"

Thank-you for your comments, I will leave you a message.

Hello Lynn:

I read all nine chapters of The Chair and was thoroughly enthralled! I appreciate your boldness to not compromise as you deal with the gifts of the Spirit. I know that in so doing, you are knowingly making yourself somewhat vulnerable to attack. Be strong and courageous!

I do agree with one of the other comments that the first chapter does need some work. It does tend to have an intangible flat quality, almost reading like a police report. Once the good part beings, however, this book is hard to put down.

Make sure you always capitalize Bible. In general, people who do not capitalize Bible tend to not to do so because they doubt its authenticity as the Word of God. Obviously, it is merely an oversight on your part.

In Chapter 8, "close nit family" should be "close-knit family."

Blessings to you and may this account bear fruit in bringing many to faith and tremendously encouraging those who already know Him.

James

Thank-you for your comments. I am going to take another look at my first chapter, as many have commented that it needs to pick up the pace and have more of a hook in it. And yes, not capitlizing the Bible is an oversight, thank-you, I will go and correct it now. And I appreciate your critique - Authonomites have been so helpful to me with constructive suggestions to help in my editing.
Thanks again, and if you have any more critique, please feel free to give it.
Lynn

Hello Lynn:

I read all nine chapters of The Chair and was thoroughly enthralled! I appreciate your boldness to not compromise as you deal with the gifts of the Spirit. I know that in so doing, you are knowingly making yourself somewhat vulnerable to attack. Be strong and courageous!

I do agree with one of the other comments that the first chapter does need some work. It does tend to have an intangible flat quality, almost reading like a police report. Once the good part beings, however, this book is hard to put down.

Make sure you always capitalize Bible. In general, people who do not capitalize Bible tend to not to do so because they doubt its authenticity as the Word of God. Obviously, it is merely an oversight on your part.

In Chapter 8, "close nit family" should be "close-knit family."

Blessings to you and may this account bear fruit in bringing many to faith and tremendously encouraging those who already know Him.

James

Hi, Lynn,
Just finished your second chapter. I would have to say that I see doctrinal differences between us, as you expected, but your writing style is very readable. Your description is clear and simple, in a good way.

Jonie

Dear Lynn

I have just read the first three chapters of "The Chair" and just wanted to leave a comment before reading more.

I do not belong to any evangelical tradition, yet I appreciated your common sense approach in setting the context of your story. Nothing in the seeming ordinariness of your first chapter could have prepared me for the beauty of what unfolds in the following chapters, the visions that you share with us. I get the shivers.

Certain biblical reminders I find timely: unless we act with love, all that we do comes to nothing. How often I have read that passage, "I may give up my body to be burned, but if I have not love I am a sounding gong or a clanging cymbal...." , and not truly understood it. I have also had experiences that speak of unconditional love and am immensely reassured by what I read in your story.

Your writing is gentle, conversational and very easy to get along with. Thank you for sharing.

All the best

Fran Macilvey, "Trapped"

Hi Lynn,

I read several chapters and found that you as the MC are 100% behind your story, dealing with those parts in our lives which are called spiritual, and here a strong Christian fundamentalist view is being purported. I found chapter 1 a little slow at first, but then realised that your story is dealing with a more Bible-based mindscape than I was expecting from reading the pitch, and that you are interpreting the images and visions yourself while you tell the story.

Nothing wrong with that, but I noticed that in the wake of reading your personal convictions I became a little critical, as some assumptions were not quite congruent with my outlook on life, and this forced me to take a more back-seat attitude than I would have liked, given that this child Michael has obviously got something very special and unusual, which affected your own faith and healing in a profound manner. And while I don't want to question your choice or the method of how you tell of your experiences, I found the teaching part of your story not quite so interesting.

Nevertheless, I was fascinated and deeply moved by the perceived images and visions, and found they gave inspiration for my own beliefs, made me question some of my own assumptions and also raised my spirits.
This book being a challenging account, which adds to understanding and knowledge, I have backed it and hope it will get the recognition it deserves.

Ame
Wolfmother and Normsville Trilogy

Hi Lynn,
While this book picks up the pace considerably with chapter 2, I must echo Jonie that you may want to work on livening up your chapter one hook. There is nothing more boring than sitting at your desk watching the clock, and I'm afraid I spent several paragraphs just waiting for something to happen. Indeed, you say it yourself in the third paragraph, "Boy, doesn't that sound exciting?" Perhaps a way to cut to the chase is to open the book at the moment you pick up Michael for soccer practice, and he opens the door, gets in, and immediately asks one of his perceptive, grown-up questions. Then you could write, "Quite a question for a nine-year old, huh? But let me tell you about my grandson Michael. . . . " and then start in with the background information that you've given us beginning at paragraph five. "Just a suggestion of course," to echo Jonie again. Hope this helps, I'll comment further after I've read more.
Eric,
The Second Symbol

Hi, Lynn, just read the first chapter of your book. You introduce the hook of your grandson's questions right away, giving us a little bit of suspense. I wonder if this first chapter could be more of a hook, though; maybe you could give us more of an idea about the specifics of his questions in this first chapter, or an example of something he did or said in his past that might foreshadow what he does later. Just a suggestions of course. Thanks for sharing your story and hope you find the time to check out my novel. Take care!

Jonie - Leave Me Asking

Lynn, you were rightfully trusted with the task of making a record of Michael’s personal encounter with the Lord. Wow! As I read through every word, I felt as though we were sitting together in a cozy living room as you told me the story. The style you wrote is so intimate. You told it beautifully. You captured the magnificence, but also the crucial significance.

The message is unique. Your writing flowed. The pace was just right. You maintained the intrigue from one chapter to the next. I like the lighthearted humor – the fatty burgers and your commentary that “he couldn’t afford to waste any calories” and the “catch and release in heaven.” The way you weaved the Scriptures into the story is fantastic.

I outlined my suggestions below, chapter by chapter. I hope you find them helpful as I intended each one to be helpful as you go back to revise. A general comment is to capitalize “Bible” everywhere (and I would also capitalize “Scripture”).

Ch. 1 – and throughout the rest of the chapters:
make the double quotes consistent (I place them after the punctuation mark)
“…a grandma and other nine-year-olds could truly appreciate…”  should be “can”

Ch. 2 – “…because they are seeking to know their God…”  I would delete “their”
End of quote from Mark 10:15 needs a period (punctuation mark)
“Grandchildren”  don’t need capital “G”
Double quotes needed at the end of sentence: “Lord, isn’t he a little young?” I asked.__
“adults assurance”  should have apostrophe at the end of adults (adults’)

Ch. 3 – capitalize “he” when referring to the Holy Spirit (and in the next chapter when you refer
to God); it makes it a lot easier, too, to distinguish between when you’re referring to Michael versus the Holy Spirit and God
“…I was not nealy as receptive the first time…”  should be “nearly” (insert “r”)
“West coast”  should capitalize “Coast”

Ch. 4 – “continued on”  don’t need “on”
“…starring at something far…”  should be one “r” in “staring” and add closed quotes
“…so happy and the so full of love…”  delete “the”
Where you ask the question : Zone?”  add open quotes

Ch. 5 – “for evermore”  should be “forevermore”
“…he brighten up and he said with excitement, ‘Taz…”  should be “brightened”

There was one sentence where a quote didn’t sound like Michael’s voice.
“Guess what? I saw my great-grandfather there from my mother’s side of the family. He
was much younger than he was the last time I saw him, in fact, he looked about my Dad’s age.”  If it’s an accurate quote, then ignore my comment, but just the voice seemed odd for a nine-year-old.

“With a big smile on his face and laughter in his voice,he said,…”  insert space after coma.

“…pleasure in heaven .”  delete space before the period.
“…every where…”  should be “everywhere”
“I had ask him what the birds looked like…”  should be “asked”
“than the one’s you see on the animal shows…”  should be plural “ones” (no apostrophe)

“…they were heavenly colors and very bright and beautiful!  insert closed quotes
“…prospective…”  you probably meant “perspective”
“pick and chose”  you probably meant “choose”
“…how I would like to of told this story…”  should be “would like to have told”

Ch. 7 – “…when we past the big building…”  should be “passed”
“…Mahogany…”  it’s the only wood you capitalized; I don’t think you need that

I loved the instruction to Michael: “Follow the path where your heart takes you.” I loved the way you told it with Michael careful that you write it down exactly 

Ch. 8 – “…when we were reading those scriptures , he stopped me and said he saw the
smoke…”  capitalize Scriptures and delete space before coma

“…as he starred at every detail…”  should be “stared” (one “r”)
“Although Cherubim are mention many times…”  should be “mentioned”
“…still referring to more than one .”  delete the space before the period
“Kneel Down!”  don’t need to capitalize “down”

Throughout this chapter, double check the quotes: single quotes inside the double quotes. You have a floating double quotes at the end of the paragraph “…chair facing him” and before the paragraph “As he was going down on his knees…”

“…of the one on the chair…”  capitalize “One” as you did later
You have two references: “Arch angel” and “Arch Angel”  should be one word “Archangel”

“…continue telling me what happen after you kneeled down…”  should be “happened”

“…jogged my memory…”  should be “joggled”
“…I continued pass that part of his story…”  should be “past” that part of his story

Ch. 9 – “…play ground…”  should be one word “playground”
“…much more quite than usual…”  should be “quiet”
Move closed quotes at the end of the sentence: “Yes,” I get a lot of thoughts about it.
“…starring out the window…”  “staring” (one “r”)
Add open quotes before the sentence: But I don’t get to be with you all the time.”
“…we talked a bit on all the people in his life…”  should be “about” instead of “on”
“…six-figured salary”  should be “six-figure”
“…past time…”  should be “pastime”
“Why,” he would say to himself, “Should I care about…”  should be small “s”
“…tight nit family…”  should be “tight-knit”
“…life time…”  should be one word, “lifetime”

Lynn, you left me amazed, speechless, in awe. I think the message of your book would give hope to so many, and like you wrote, many who may have had similar experiences and are afraid to share them.

Donna Robison
No Kiss Good-bye

Hi Lynn, I really like your references to “it’s not a cure all, but just a beginning.”, and highlighting the important and unique contributions that grandparents can have, they are so different to that of parents. How you write sounds like how you would speak, which I think for the purpose of this book is a good thing, almost like you are sitting on a lounge chair and telling this story to the rest of us in your lounge room. There are some times you seem to jump from one thought to another, but I think this adds to the storytelling nature of the text (but be cautious that it doesn’t distract from the overall flow)

I admire you that you have written this story about your grandson, and about your own faithfulness in praying and guiding him.

Peter
Falscastra - Journey to the King

Lynn,

What a special relationship you have with your grandson! Some of your story reminds me of a friend of mine who is very spirit-filled and not surprisingly, her grandson, just like yours, began speaking in tongues at a young age and frequently sees into the spiritual realm. What a holy bloodline both of you must have!!

Many blessings to you!

Patti

I've read your novel and I thought it was great, if a little short! From your pitch, I thought it was going to be very much like 'The Shock of your Life' (the Christian book that everyone recommends to try and convert people) but it was pleasantly surprised because it was much better written and easy to read :)

Hi Lynn

Will definitively have a nose through this as I have a few spaces on my book shelf and WL. Would you be so kind as to have a quick look at my book - The List. Feel free to leave a comment.
ta very much.

David J Baron

Hi Lynn
I finally started your book tonight. It is very apparent that you have a deep love for your grandson
I did notice a couple of times in the first chapter it appeared your sentences went from present to past tense. I'm wondering if talking about your grandson in the present would be more effective. I would try to pull in the reader with an intriguing dialogue between you and Michael and then follow with exposition as to why or how it transpired. Just some thoughts
I really look forward to reading more of this touching story
I will comment again after reading more
Blessings Joy

Hi Lyn,
I have just read your first three chapters, and am excited to continue. I will let you know when I am finished:)
Ruby,
Eclipse of Faith

Chapter 2: I admire your courage in including this account of your grandson being filled with the Holy Ghost. I received the Spirit when I was 8, and I have prayed children even younger through to the Holy Spirit as well. Children have that child-like faith that allows them to simply believe when adults try to reason everything out.

I have a slightly different understanding of the Spirit infilling than what you've described here in terms of giving access to the gifts. I view the gift of tongues spoken of in I Corinthians and the gift of the Holy Ghost spoken of in Acts 2 as two seperate things. The gift of the Holy Ghost is when God's Spirit is initially given, and the outward evidence of it is speaking in other tongues, as they did in Acts 2, as you described. Without receiving the Spirit, of course you don't have access to the gifts OF the Spirit. That gift of the Holy Ghost then gives access to all the other gifts, including the gift of tongues and its mate, the gift of interpretation. It also allows all Spirit-filled believers to pray in tongues and interceded in the Spirit.

So rather than speaking of "The Gift of Tongues" as being the last of the gifts mentioned but the entry-level gift, it's really "The Gift of the Holy Spirit" (with the outward evidence of speaking in tongues) and that gives access to all the other gifts of the spirit. In that way, tongues function in three ways: 1) initial evidence of Spirit in-filling. 2) the gift of tongues, coupled with interpretation, to edify the church as God speaks through you. and 3) a prayer language for your own devotion and intercession for things you don't know how to pray for.

Again, I admire your courage, and am so happy to hear of other Spirit-filled believers. Whatever slight differences in wording or whatever, the fact is you are Spirit-filled speaking in tongues and THAT is exciting! :) And the fact that you are bold in speaking out about that truth is even more exciting. I'm giving this 6 stars and will back it asap.

God bless,

Nathan

Hi Lynn,

I'm hear to read and comment as promised just as you did for me. :) I like the frank manner of your writing in chapter 1, it's not pretentious or wordy, just clear and simple. It's clear you're not a wild-haired fanatic, but level-headed, and that adds credence to this true story. The small details like starting at 6 and getting out a 3 are realistic things we can all relate to, and as a parent I can smile at your account of being a grandmother, because my parents are the exact same way with my 2 1/2 year old (who by the way, has a 100-mile-per-hour metabolism too. :) You've certainly piqued my interest in this first chapter and I'm intrigued to read on and find out what your grandson related to you.