Fool's Dilemma

a true and honest piece===original style. you take us on the journey with great skill and keep us interested...
backed...
read SEASONS...

Carl,

A most interesting and delightful read.
I love the main character, his grumpy and resentful manner and the way he tells the story.

There is also plenty of humour, dry and gritty.

I did find one small error: "...who should employee these cranks on a full time basis." I think you meant "employ" rather than "employee", but very difficult to spot when you have to read it back.

This will get a high rating from me, and go on my watch-list

Best regards
Warrick

Hi Carl
Comments so far. Love the pitch - long and short blurbs are great and absoultely made me want to read on. Have only read Ch1 so far (am at work right now). Here's my feedback on that. As always, take what you like and dump the rest.
Great voice. You write very well and Jim is a credible and interesting character. Funeral scene is perfectly written. Great characterisation all round and excellent observation of how we like to bury our dead in Ireland! Loved the line about sending the concrete. You set the scene brilliant. We know Dent is an evil bastard, we know Jim is glad to see him dead and buried and we're drawn along with a fine narrative.
A few editing things:
'with faces that would, and do fill mug shot books.' Think you need an extra comma after 'do'
'My standards and tastes though tend...' should be '...and tastes, though, tend...'
'Nurses' should be 'nurses'
There's probably more but that's all I picked up on.
Anything else? Hmm.. you may not want to overplay the Celtic Tiger setting - this will quickly date your novel and, possibly, make it harder to sell to publishers.
Overall, though, I bloody loved this and will be back to read more. Once I've done that, I'll be adding you to my shelf.
Sheila

Hi,
I like this. The MC's voice comes through strong and clear.
At each bit of dialogue, you need to ask yourself, 'Would he say this?'
The detective doing the interview might say some of the things but it is a little OTT. Depends on if you want stagey realism or realism. The bit about not interested in football may be a bit OTT.
The other thing is - would they really admit him to hospital for the story he's telling? In A&E they would probably check him physically and if he's OK discharge him with a psychiatric out-patient appointment. Maybe he'd be better in the cells? If he's confused but totally OK physically then they might thinks it's drugs?
One way to examine dialogue it is to convert it to third person and look at what is said. You may be overdoing the tersness a bit. But it's marginal.
You could also create the scenes a little better by adding a touch more descriptive prose, without changing the pace. Set the scene a bit better - smells sights and sounds. I don't mean make it BORING just a faint light brush.
You can write well and the dialogue is good too.
None of this detracts from the story because your MC has a strong voice and the pace is good.
Take all this with a barrel of salt - I'm only an amateur myself.
Backed this because I think it has a lot of promise.
BTW even if you're tempted to comment on my comment, don't put it here - send a message instead as most people don't return to the book's comments later and won't see what you've written.
Good luck with it.