The Transitory Nature of Feeling Good

The Transitory Nature of Feeling Good
I too am from the States and never attended or played cricket, but it didn't stop me from enjoying the humor and the "attitude" which has me smiling through chapter 4, Darwin and post-it notes. Where ever you're from, if you just roll with it, it's very entertaining. Good luck to you.
Lenore
Surviving the Seaweed

Hi Chris,
Everybody needs this book. I will come back to it repeatedly as I do my morning coffee, for we especially need humor in this day and age. Very nicely written. I have more to read and look forward to savoring bits at a time. For now, I have you on my WL and have starred this generously.
Regards,
John B Cambell
And best wishes.

I read the opening chs of both your books and liked them both, though I preferred this one. You write really well -- sharp, smart, funny. The opening of FTB I found too much of a 'routine' -- I wanted other characters, story, dialogue. The end's good though, with the AK47. This one engaged me right away. It's disappointing it's on so few bookshelves, it's a lot better than many of the top-rated clunkers I've browsed. Don't give up! You can clearly write comedy, despite being a software designer. I'll try & put it on my bookshelf.

ARISE, AUTHONOMY GHOST!

Ease those weary, withered limbs from your coffin. Push away the stone from the mouth of the tomb.

You have one last task to perform. One last, sacred shelf to confer.

Whether you were plugger, spammer, gusher or troll, whether you flirted or fought in the forum or beavered away in the shadows, now is the time for your resurrection.

One last time. Marshall your strength, muster the last vestiges of your power and carry out your final Authonomy act:

Back my book, MIRROR IN THE SKY.

Then, only then, you may rest easy in your Authonomy grave.

Nick Poole2 (formerly known as NickP)

i bloody love this. Want me to delete this post? Let me know.

I thought this started a little awkwardly - situations set up purely for the benefit of gags. More like stand up than literature. But after that, a wonderful novel that still has me feeling good. The American sandwich ordering experience will have me chuckling for as long as I live. The dialogue is spectacularly good. Have you ever thought about trying to write a situation comedy?

"Why is there a bullet proof screen between us and the taxi driver?"

"Because he has a gun and shooting passengers is bad for business"

Loved it - but suggest you trim up the start a bit - I think you could make it quite a lot shorter without damaging it.

I think you could start with something like:

'Dave is God. Well, he is sometimes. Occasionally. Just every now and then.

Hope and despair rule over the life of Dave Taylor, but sometimes, occasionally, or every now and then, the dire gloom is punctuated with infinitesimal moments of triumph - glorious and beautiful justice.

The Transitory Nature of Feeling Good is a weirdly exhilarating comi-cosmic meditation on the nature of life itself. Follow Dave Taylor through some bloody awful times, and some bloody good times. A good moment doesn't have to be big to be significant.'

Maybe that's awful...I don't know. I'm still thinking and very tired!

Oh yes - did mean to add, you really could do something more with the pitch. It's very brief and doesn't really give us any insight into the plot.

Chris
Sorry am in a pretty pathetic comment mood today, i.e., am struggling to write insightfully, but I liked this. Is that enough?! ;-) I read the first chapter and it's funny. (I had to increase the font size of course!) and you paint a picture very well. Some issues with lay-out which I think could be smoothed out but this is just polishing. Cos this is a rubbish comment and offers little in the way of constructive advice, will pop you on my shelf.
Good luck!
Hannah

CC. Thanks so much for the input and your continued support. I should point out with respect to the Eddie Izzard comment that there's a line in chapter 3 about the three little pigs having their henge blown down that did subesquently turn up in one of his routines (I have independent proof that I have prior art!). The Alanis Morisette (Ironic isn't really very ironic) continuing theme was also stolen later by Ed Byrne. There was a time when I figured comedians called Ed were rummaging through my bins! I've left the lines in for now, but given their relative fame, I ought to take them out.

This is laugh-out-loud funny, even at the ridiculously small font size you've chosen. Watchlisted for now.

The font size was dead respectable back when I wrote it, honest! I'll resize it to something suitable for today's monitors. I think that's only fair in return for your very generous comment.

Hi Chris,

I've given the first chapter another read. All I can suggest regarding WAF's comment is that there is a lot of mathematical wording but, for me, that's what I like about it. It sets up the humour and because of all the build up, the close of the chapter is really rewarding. I have the 'poxy Buckinghamshire village' history myself and this is something else that spoke to me here. It is dry humour and as such may not necessarily appeal to those without the 'British sense of humour', and it's also really intelligent humour along the lines of Eddie Izzard and Bill Bailey (hope that's the right thing to say). There is no reason why your audience should be limited as this book has all the ingredients for a good read - wit, funnies, romance (later on), confrontation, and the best bits are when Dave Taylor is God because that's when I feel immense relief on his part. I feel like Dave is the underdog of life and I want him to do well. I don't know exactly what it is about him, but he needs cheering on and wow, do I.

Only a few things to note; the use of poxy - used in both of the last 2 paragraphs in chapter one, and there could be a few more bits of punctuation here and there to make it flow, eg *worthless life just like yours* could be *worthless life - just like yours - * and earlier on *Persil blessed* could be *Persil-blessed*, *where for the other six days of the week - stick in a comma and make this *where, for the other six days...*. Could you italicise the Richie Benaud bit just to make it clearer to people who are doing first-time skim-reading? I know who he is but others might not.

I hope that's vaguely useful. I'm hoping to have more time for reading this weekend so I'll read the next few chapters again and see if there's anything else I can pick up on.

CC

Tried reading this, but as I am from the United States I really didn't get what was going on at the beginning. Don't know Cricket.