Streets Apart

Sinners and Shadows is a feast for the senses, dripping in atmosphere that brings us right down into those cold streets where the Welsh and Irish immigrants fight.

Author Connie King has created something unique here. It’s got a noire feel, but is not a gritty crime drama, though there is some crime in the story. Mixed with the deep characterization of literary fiction, this is kind of like noire for those who appreciate a deep plot, real emotions and three dimensional characters.

You can tell that a lot of research went into Sinners and Shadows before pen met paper, and readers will surely appreciate it. Every aspect of the town and its people from the physical descriptions of the houses where they live to the quiet desperation of their moods and the overall darkness of their circumstances will pull readers forward through the story, which also seems well plotted and told at a good pace.

Dialog is particularly strong, with each character speaking realistically based on (especially important here) their social class and background, motives and situation. In fact, I would almost want to see more dialog as it’s used effectively here to advance the story.

Sinners and Shadows has a great start in the chapters posted so far. If the later ones can keep that same flavor, then this is one novel that is going places.

John Breeden II
Old Number Seven

Hi, Connie—this is an unforgivably late read from me. You backed my book ages ago, which I appreciated very much!!

Your pitches draw me in because you are apparently writing about the Welsh versions of my Scottish grandparents. I couldn’t tell you if there was anything wrong with your pitches or not. I’m eager to read.

Well, my review will be of no use whatsoever to you because I am reading for pleasure. I’ll try to slow down, but honestly, Connie. I know these people! And I read the whole thing.

Eighty points for the correct use of ‘comprising.’

Truly, the only feedback I can think to offer is that your narrative tells the reader details that you convey quite well via dialog and other ‘shows.’ Patrick is wickedly handsome, pressing her to marry, bold enough to mention sex. That’s all we need. The fact that Violet allows him into the shop tells us the romance is forbidden. Describe her feelings a bit more and we know their love is burning bright. Of course, I know well how this story goes. Let’s hope there aren’t too many readers with my ‘pedigree.’

Otherwise, I thank you for describing my ancestors so well and so vividly.

~AudreyB
Forgiveness Fits

Outstanding historical literature.

Hello Connie. I had a look through your comments before I started reading. I noticed that someone had mentioned a comparison to Catherine Cookson, so I had to give Sinners a look over. Only meant to read a couple of chapters but ended up reading everything you've posted. Chapter 10 brought tears to my eyes. I've just started writing my own historical romance but I'm nowhere near your standard yet. I live in hope! Definitely in Catherine Cookson's class!

I thought the writing thoroughly professional, the descriptions good, and the characters believable. Well done, and to be backed. Marj.

Just read your chapter 3, as requested, Connie. Loved it! Reminded me of 'How Green Was My Valley', which is one of my fave books of all time. Also, I love Wales - I rant on about it in chap 4 of my book. Funny, but I didn't need to read the first two chapters of yours to get a quick grip on the plot - this chapter could almost stand on its own. The characters are very finely drawn, the dialogue quick and crisp, and the drama perfectly suited to a TV series (got to be the Beeb cos they have the best costumes!).

I do have a few tiny suggests - first, you've got a natural chapter break after Ruth 'looks in the handbag again'. How about inserting a short sentence like: 'I familiar figure was coming up the road', to introduce Patrick, before 'Quick, Ruth..'? Second, 'Violet felt some hope start to grow, as well' might (imho) read better as 'Voilet started to feel hopeful.' Third, you might consider 'italicising' certain words in the heated debates that follow (i.e.'No, you damn well CAN'T come in!'), given that this is high melodrama and the sparks are flying! Last, I don't think you need the word 'tell' in the sentence commencing 'Before Violet could reply...'

This is fab stuff overall, highly commended. Six stars for now, on my list for shelving (see my profile)

Good luck, Connie!

Joe Kovacs
Rupee Millionaires

Prince Albert Street remind me when I returned to Jamaica after 10 years in England. Some things changed. Other things remained unchanged.
Prologue done. I like the story
Chapter one next...................

Your pitch and your style of writing is unique. You put the reader right smack bang in the middle of the scene.

The descriptive adjectives takes the reader by the hand and paints a vivid pictue. Your work in stuffed with emotion and feeling.

Sinners and Shadows is a must read book.

The is only one Catherine Cookson - well - maybe not !

Your writing leaves me in awe.

SUPERB

Dean

I left 6 stars ahead of read in support of your book to the ED

Your short pitch is perfect. It tell a little but gave away nothing

Let me turn the pages.....

Very wonderfully written.
I like the way you start your book off. It has a voice like you see in older books, I like it a lot.
The story is well developed. Things seemed researched very well. The settings are very vivid and special in the beginning.
Good work!

Shelby Z./Driving Winds

P.S. Please take a look at my pirate adventure Driving Winds.

Hi backed this... its an interesting take on the Irish. I like the way ypu make us hear the accents in the dialogue... reads wonderful. The pitch is very good for a query. The writing is easy to read. Backed... and starred

This is an eye opener. It packed with emotion to grip and hook.

Overall, fabulous

Hi Connie,

I've read Chapter Two now. Excellent description, wonderful dialogue, and very believable characters. Patrick doesn't seem like a bad young man at all actually...I wonder when his dark side is going to show up! :) Interesting.

I have a question, of the two families, are the Griffiths meant to be richer than the Murphy family? I'm pretty sure that's correct, but I'm not certain. Just wondering.

Excellent writing!

Tristram x

Although not quite literary fiction, Sinners moves along well with smooth narrative and well defined characters. She craetres an atmosphere that is gritty and realistic and her creative dialogue carries the story. Good luck with it. You shold do well. I give it four stars.

Sinners
Catherine Cookson fans will certainly enjoy reading this offering from an author who writes in a similar vein. This is an emotional rollercoaster of a book which will grab your attention from the very start of the evocative prologue.
Well done. High stars and backed.

SINNERS
This is a good story. Violet is a wonderful main character; she’s instantly likable because of the way she treats Shamus; at the same time she’s sympathetic because from the prologue, your reader knows this happy life isn’t going to last. Altho, if I had a suggestion, it would be to omit the prologue. It’s well written but it was a little confusing to me to first read the description of Prince Albert street as it was in 1954, then read another description as to how it was in 1919. Your dialogue is very well done; crisp and sounds read. Highly starred and added to my shelf. Wanttobeawriter: Who Killed the President?

Thank you Connie, I will too be reading all of your book, it is brilliant and has the potential to do so much, television, stage, books. I will be backing your book upon freeing space on my shelf, I am so new to this and getting the feel, I have never read so many first chapters. Yours had me hook, line and transported to 1919.

Blessings and light Clare Be The Human Sunshine x

Such a great read, I read the first chapter, I was thrown deeply into 1919, then I knew your writing style had got me, wonderful writing with such great atmospheric feeling. This would be great on TV.

Well done and a well deserved many stars.

Clare Be The Human Sunshine, would appreciate you returning comment and rating.

A gutsy read well penned and with page turning skill you bring the sights sounds andsmells of the era to the forefront
Excellent

Sue
Knowing Liam Riley
One foot in the Jungle

This is a great story Connie, very much in the Catherine Cookson mode. I'm a great fan of this type of book and I loved reading it. The characters are strong and realistic and you have a wonderful sense of description.Backed with stars and on w/l.

Kate Grimes- LIZZIE- CUPPA TALES - TALES OF WILLOW GREEN - ANNIE

Hi Connie,

I've read the prologue and first chapter. Great stuff! Really lively characters; I love the way you bring the setting to life so effectively, and it's done with excellent description and very believable dialogue. I could definitely imagine this happening in real life (not nowadays of course, since there's less poverty these days in most of the western world).

It's also very realistic and plausible...I usually write more fantasy based stuff, but I can appreciate a story like this that really shows attention to detail. I have done that in some of my stories, but not enough - I'll take a hint from this one and try to improve that aspect of my storytelling. Generally speaking I associate atmosphere with vivid descriptions, but it's more than that; it's creating a believable world, which you've done very well.

It's also interesting how you haven't introduced the Murphy character in the whole first chapter. It's a very effective build-up of atmosphere, getting the reader to know presumably a fair portion of the main characters from the start. I only worry something will happen to them, especially poor old Seamus...sounds like a lovely bloke to have around. Is it going to get darker? Again, you've made me hope not, which means you've drawn me in! :D Excellent writing. :)

Keep it up! I'll have a look at Chapter 2 when I can. :)

Tristram x

SINNERS: lnteresting title for a start. good direct writing style makes this an enjoyable read.
backed...
read SEASONS.

Hi Connie, just read your chapter 6 as requested (and chapter 5, to refresh my memory). You've done a bit of work on this since last I looked, haven't you? Whatever, it makes for very fine reading now - nice, tight narrative, very strong 'scenes' (I won't forget that brutal rape in a hurry) and highly convincing-for-the-period dialogue. Yes, there are a few minor punctuation issues (could you email me over the original? I can't edit here) and that sudden break to Violet giving birth in 5 caught me short (could you start a new chapter here, or maybe give a scene of her wedding day to ease the transition?) but otherwise no complaints from me. A sublime piece of work!

Joe Kovacs
Ginger the Buddha Cat

(oh, two last things: 1) those 'fuckings' in 6 didn't ring quite right; 2) The 'Three months later' intro tag might work better inside your first line. xx)

Hi Connie,
Just read the first three chapters of Sinners and Shadows. You know I think I may have read this earlier last year for some reason. It looks like you've worked on it since then. I like how it opens up with Violet reflecting on her past and the story goes into the past. A forbidden love of two people from different classes and cultures. The writing is well-done. I couldn't see anything wrong. The Irish dialects are always great to read. I think you'll do very well with this book.
All the best
Kirk
"How to Steal a Lion"

Connie, I've flown through the Prologue and all five chapters - bloody superb! Prologue and first chapter were full of warmth and nostalgia, everything seems strikingly authentic. I love the way the story suddenly lifts off from chapter 2 with Violet and Patrick meeting each others parents. You've laid the foundations brilliantly by describing Violet's uncontrolled and unconditional love for Patrick, while Patrick's bullying and manipulative ways of keeping her under control are quickly made obvious in the dialogue. The acrimony between the two families is displayed in satisfying detail. The marital rape scene in the fifth chapter made me squirm, and you described Patrick's horrid drunken abuse expertly. Each chapter is rounded off nicely as the aperitif for the next.

Such a refreshing read, full of honesty, humility and charm - but turning very quickly into a powerful story of abuse, which you've described so well as pretty much being a way of life amongst working class people of these times. A feast of stars and a backing because this is (so far) wonderful storytelling.

Historical novels are not really my thing but I enjoyed reading a couple of chapters of Sinners and Shadows. You paint a vivid picture of life in 1919 and the poverty and hardship this era brought. When I am playing out the scene in my head like watching a BBC period drama then you know it is good writing so well done.

Kim (Pain)

Sinners and Shadows. Wish I could write such succinct, enticing pitches.
I take notes as I read, but dont pretend to be an expert.

Ch.1. Prologue. You place the reader firmly into the time and place, but a couple of nits did spring out at me: repetitions like 'so' and lost / losing. And slightly unnecessary words, which spoil the flow, like really, all the, still (Ch.1) quite, only completely, always, again, just.
A fitting prologue, showing emotion and regret...

Ch.2. (1). The characters are introduced and well sketched, but I cant help wondering if the pace would improve by embedding them in dribs and drabs into the action of the story - but that's only my opinion.
Lovely, telling sentence - 'she sniffed in the wonderful aroma of the mixed spices of the mince pies and picked up another one.'

Ch.3. (2). Dont you mean Violet had only once been in the Murphy's house? Another comfortable chapter, where the pace is leisurely, and we get more familiar with the characters. A hint of scheming makes me read on.

Ch.4. (3). You bring out the hard desparation in Patrick - makes me wonder why Violet doesnt think twice about going with him.
And that unfortunate scene where she's thrown out by her family - those were indeed unforgiving days.

Ch.5. (4) You bring out the contrast between the two families very well, through the dialogue and the action.
That's quite a sudden shift - from her first day at the Murphy's to Violet giving birth! They got married, I presume?

This is a compelling, well written story. But I cant help feeling you could have introduced more suspense and emotion by filling the gaps, smoothing over the time line, and drawing out the plot more, so the reader can become fully immersed. It is almost as if you've uploaded exerpts of your story, rather than the whole thing....!

We all have to edit, and re-edit, but it's worth it in the end. Yours deserves to be perfect.

Jane (Breath of Africa).

Hi Connie, Just had a look at the Chapters one and two. Excellent work, loved Shamus, could hear his smooth Irish accent in my head. Few thoughts from a French perspective:
1) You mention the doors being black, brown and green. The window frames are mustard yellow. I believe this is because you wish to give to the reader the picture of the window frames weathering to this colour, over many years of neglect. It does this. However, many years ago I bought an old Victorian house, near the docks. and stripped back the paint, as I went back in time the door colour matched the windows. I asked the old lady next door who was 90 at the time thinking this curious. She laughed, saying that people could not afford two pots of paint in her day.
2) You mention Goose in the grocers shop. In 1919, there were precious few cold rooms. The butcher would most certainly have had a bit of an argument with the grocer about this (Christmas goose, turkeys were his domain). Most animals were still killed in situ. There is a northern account of 1919, which states that women began queuing as the cow was led through the side gate of the butchers shop. They knew it would be fresh!
3) "Popping the kettle on the coals." Is this an English expression? If you place a kettle directly on the coals even with a thick copper kettle it will burn the bottom out of it pretty quickly (sorry grew up with coal fires and a range). On small fire places there used to be a grill you could pull down save ruining your kettle. In upstairs rooms people often used a spirit cooker. Looks like a little camping stove, you have to pump it to get the pressure up, they were pretty quirky and available from Victorian times.
4) You mention Guiness in the conversations. Was it known as "A pint of the blackstuff" in those days? If so it might help to use this.
5) You mention a "wee dram of whisky." I felt this was more Scottish than Irish. Perhaps "a nip of whisky" or "a nip of the hard stuff."
6) When offering a Whisky, to an Irishman is it not "A drop of the hard stuff" when talking perhaps (see above)?
7) You mention the till ringing. Most small street shops would have had a wooden cash draw. All calculations would have been done by mental arithmetic. Perhaps, she could not wait to hear the sound of the pennies dropping in the cash draw.
8) Guiness and Mackeson used to be referred to as Stout. If a lady was going to the snug, she would probably be having a stout for medicinal reasons as they were reputed to contain iron! Mmmmmm. Can't think of why I just put this last point in. Never mind.

Just a few quick thoughts from another historical fiction lover.
Jerome (Jay Le Frog)
Garrison Fields
Never Look North

I've read to the end of chapter one and feel really grounded in the story and your characters! I like the way you set out the who's who and then we see them in the shop. I'm particularly drawn to Evelyn and her tea cups. There is an engaging mix of light and dark in your writing which really draws your reader in.
Great job!
Kate
The Licenser

Really well written, I love your style of writing and I personally like your use of every day language....books should be enteratining and reflect the way we talk in the real world. Excellent stuff and I hope you find a publisher......I would certainly buy it. Backed

Andy Macready
Sting in the Tail

Hello Connie.
This is good - I do like historical fiction. You set the scene well and the period seems spot on. A really good atmosphere, I lost myself in your wrting for some time - that says what you need to hear, I think! I would recommend this and would buy it in a book shop.
Rose

A marvellous tale set in a small, close-knit community in the aftermath of the Great War. A tale of grinding poverty,violence, hatred and passion but also a tender and truthful portrayal of a woman whose indomitable spirit remains unbowed. You evoke the period well and your characters come across as real people, driven by their fears and aspirations. Deserves to do well and backed with high stars.
Mike

Sinners and Shadows
Connie, you have a gift for bringing your characters to life - my heart ached for Violet - and you set your story against a gritty and authentic background. A book that shouldn't be missed. ******
Katie

Its rare to see such a well put together piece of historical fiction! Well done!

Joe,
The Hooligans Of Kandahar

A well-told story of times past. I knew people like these as I grew up long ago, I'm sure. This is a novel that does not rely so much on historical detail (there is not a lot to get in the way of the plot) as relationships tied to the social rules of the times. The characters are well drawn and believeable. The conflict and dilemmas they face are also credible and rooted in the times. I felt for Violet in her enforced separation from the family. There is a real tug of nostalgia for me underlying this tale. A lovely social story that took me back.

Sinners and Shadows is a feast for the senses, dripping in atmosphere that brings us right down into those cold streets where the Welsh and Irish immigrants fight.

Author Connie King has created something unique here. It’s got a noire feel, but is not a gritty crime drama, though there is some crime in the story. Mixed with the deep characterization of literary fiction, this is kind of like noire for those who appreciate a deep plot, real emotions and three dimensional characters.

You can tell that a lot of research went into Sinners and Shadows before pen met paper, and readers will surely appreciate it. Every aspect of the town and its people from the physical descriptions of the houses where they live to the quiet desperation of their moods and the overall darkness of their circumstances will pull readers forward through the story, which also seems well plotted and told at a good pace.

Dialog is particularly strong, with each character speaking realistically based on (especially important here) their social class and background, motives and situation. In fact, I would almost want to see more dialog as it’s used effectively here to advance the story.

Sinners and Shadows has a great start in the chapters posted so far. If the later ones can keep that same flavor, then this is one novel that is going places.

John Breeden II
Old Number Seven

A book that stands out of the crowd and deserves top star rating. In my watch list now.

We love historical fiction, but wonder if this epic has enough history to carry it?

Hi Connie...enjoying your journey. I'm not a critic, just a fan of storytelling. On WL for now.

blessings,
Jim
London in Love

Hi Connie. I so loved reading this today. The leading characters are finely drawn, with crisp prose. A superb and heart-warming read. x

I have just read your first three chapters and very much enjoyed. Your prologue was a good hook and intrigued me enough to make me read on. My only slight niggle is the first section of chapter one. There is a lot of 'tell' without much 'show'; personally, I would have preferred to have a the information provided about each character - description, traits, back story etc - as and when we met each of them when the story starts from the second section on. Might just be me!
Over all I thought your writing was very strong; descriptive while still being easy to read. You dialogue was very well crafted and really brought your characters to life. Most of all, you create a very strong sense of time and place with this; very enjoyable and highly starred!

Best of luck with it.

Oktober

I read the 6 chapters of this book, would like to read more, well written easy reading, a very sad and sadly a story that would fit many a women's life, well stared and pleased to have it on my shelf.

Portraits Of A Small Peasant.

Hi, Connie—this is an unforgivably late read from me. You backed my book ages ago, which I appreciated very much!!

Your pitches draw me in because you are apparently writing about the Welsh versions of my Scottish grandparents. I couldn’t tell you if there was anything wrong with your pitches or not. I’m eager to read.

Well, my review will be of no use whatsoever to you because I am reading for pleasure. I’ll try to slow down, but honestly, Connie. I know these people! And I read the whole thing.

Eighty points for the correct use of ‘comprising.’

Truly, the only feedback I can think to offer is that your narrative tells the reader details that you convey quite well via dialog and other ‘shows.’ Patrick is wickedly handsome, pressing her to marry, bold enough to mention sex. That’s all we need. The fact that Violet allows him into the shop tells us the romance is forbidden. Describe her feelings a bit more and we know their love is burning bright. Of course, I know well how this story goes. Let’s hope there aren’t too many readers with my ‘pedigree.’

Otherwise, I thank you for describing my ancestors so well and so vividly.

~AudreyB
Forgiveness Fits

Hi Connie. I've just finished reading Sinners and Shadows. You evoke the time and place and place extremely well. Backed!

Hello Connie,
I’ve read the prologue and first three chapters.
There’s beautiful evocative imagery in the prologue of a childhood home and community. You really capture the time and setting. I’m not sure about using ‘Oh’ so much in Violet’s thoughts – but that’s very much a personal preference.
Each family member is rendered with lovely details in Ch1.
Is ‘hilarious sense of humour’ a bit redundant? Maybe something like roguish or wicked.
I really like the way you describe the weather, and how it keeps impinging on the scene in the shop.
The love scene between Violet and Patrick is handled very well. I thought the flashback to the start of their courtship was a bit quick. There could be a few pages to describe how they met and fell in love. It would allow the reader to get to know Patrick before Violet is forced to leave with him.
You build the tension very well as Violet waits for Patrick to arrive at the family home. I wonder do you need the ‘Twenty minutes later’, before the tap on the door. Ivor’s line about Patrick stealing his daughter was great and the way Violet is cut adrift by her family is very tragic.
Overall your novel has started really well. Best of luck with it.
Andrew.
The Morning Drop

Wow, what a haunting, lyrical opening chapter, really wonderful. I'd put an exclamation point there, but mine just stopped working. What is this, a typewriter?
Keep it up, I'm planning on finding time to read more!
Cheers,
Tod Schneider
The Lost Wink

Wow, what a haunting, lyrical opening chapter, really wonderful. I'd put an exclamation point there, but mine just stopped working. What is this, a typewriter?
Keep it up, I'm planning on finding time to read more!
Cheers,
Tod Schneider
The Lost Wink

I just finished reading chapter two. Chapter one pulled me in right away and had me wanting to read more. I love the way you painted your world and your dialogue is outstanding. I can hear the accents in my head as I read it. Great work. Top marks and I will definitely back this one. Thanks for the submission.

C.G. Harris - The Revealing

~Sinners and Shadows~

This is a GORGEOUS whip-smart, page-turner of a read!

You've managed to capture everyday life in Port Tennant beautifully and eloquently. I love Violet and so many other brilliant characters, including Father Martin 'prowling the streets,' Evelyn (AKA Nana) who 'lived in curlers, which were only taken out for special occassions like weddings or funerals.'

The description of the drunken fights between the local Welsh and immigrant Irsh dock workers reminded me of Gypsy Blood, a documentary where, unlike the flouncing and frills of Gypsy Weddings, was all about the fighting and the fists.

There were also many laugh-out-loud parts, like when Violet says, 'Stop making me laugh, Mr O'Leary, before I cut m finger off!'

6 stars! Well done on creating a highly-original, inspirational historical masterpiece!

Iman xxx

http://www.authonomy.com/books/39355/miss-manners

Outstanding historical literature.

Hello Connie. I had a look through your comments before I started reading. I noticed that someone had mentioned a comparison to Catherine Cookson, so I had to give Sinners a look over. Only meant to read a couple of chapters but ended up reading everything you've posted. Chapter 10 brought tears to my eyes. I've just started writing my own historical romance but I'm nowhere near your standard yet. I live in hope! Definitely in Catherine Cookson's class!

Hi Connie. I am really keen to read more of this story. It is well written and you have managed to make Violet into a real flesh and blood character from the very start. Excellent and I am pleased to make room on my shelf. Lynne, Brooklyn Bridge.

Dear Connie

I have read all the chapters that you have uploaded of your story "Sinners and Shadows". I have really enjoyed what you have posted here, and hope that you give us a little more. Your writing is careful, clear and true to life. Your scenes and dialogue are entirely realistic and hold the reader's attention. I would buy this book right now. I want to find out that Violet gets away.

Highly rated and on my WL.

All the very best.

Fran Macilvey, "Trapped" :-)

Not sure about the prologue. Elements of it are wonderful, but other parts seemed a bit clunky. The sentence beginning “How My life changed so drastically…” was one of the bits I was less sold on. Also, it appears to answer, up front, the questions asked in the long pitch and thus undermine it somewhat.

Chapter one seems to flow more smoothly. It has a convincing historical feel to it and the dialogue flows naturally. Likewise chapter two. There is a Catherine Cookson feel to the chapters I have read, which could well be an indication of commercial legs, so to speak.

Noticed nits:
Some typos like “Identical” with a capital I.

J.S.Watts
Witchlight

Read the first five chapters and was blown away. I saw flickers of Angela's Ashes while reading it. You paint a depressive masterpiece in describing Violet and Patrick. His mother is especially interesting when she warnes Violent to run a bleeding mile away from the whole mess. Highly rated-6 stars and highly recommended. Should have a prominent place in the world of literary fiction.
Dina of HOTD and Bad Juju

Connie, I was almost afraid to start your book, because I knew, based upon the buzz on authonomy, that it would be good, and that I'd want to give it some space on my bookshelf.

I can't do that right now, because I have some titles that I'm doggedly determined to support, but I promise to bookshelf your book in the next couple of weeks (not that you need it, particularly), if only for a while, because I think it's really good. BTW, this is not my normal read, so for me to say that is a big deal on my part. Meanwhile, 6 stars!

I'm sorry not to be very specific here. I read the first few chapters to get a general feel. If you'd like me to focus on a particular section, then I'd be glad to put on my editor's cap and be more critical. Not here though. I'd do it in an email. Overall, your stuff is too solid as it stands.

And, yes. I think elegant is the word. You in your evening gown and oh-so-fashionable gloves, applying lipstick before the mirror, and me in my tuxedo: we'd look great out on the town, n'est pas? :)

Best always,

Mark