The Circle Line

Great idea, and well done. Couple of typos: in your tags you've undergroud instead of Underground, and in ch 1, O' levels should be 'O' levels (unless they're Irish, I guess).

Shelved for a bit.

I started to read this book and intended to come back to it but it became submerged in my watch list somewhere. This is a pity because coming back to it again, I have found it a very enjoyable read.

Hello,

I read the first chapter and glanced through the others.

I think this is a great idea for a collection of short stories, but from the extract you've uploaded I can see no connection between the tales except the train stations.

In itself not a big issue, perhaps, but at the end of Aldgate, I wanted to know what happened next to the main character. It seems that you're not going to tell us--the other stories are about different characters, so as a reader I feel no great compulsion to read on.

The idea of linking stories via the circle line is great, but if the stories are all stand-alone, it begs the question of why link them in the first place? Is the tube line a strong enough "glue" to hold all this together?

Obviously, you've only uploaded a few stories. Maybe characters reappear later on. If they do then please mention this in the synopsis.

But if each story is, indeed, a standalone, then I think you need another device to hold it all together -- for example. a longer story which is told in sections happening between each of the uploaded chapters.This would provide some sort of unity. Perhaps the story of a train driver on the circle line? Anyway, just a thought.

I love the prose, and the characters are strong--but you have a tendency to squeeze in a lot of exposition. And the dialogue is good, but it sounds more like TV dialogue than prose dialogue. Characters give up emotional information too easily:- "I didn't get on with mum and I thought you were old enough to cope. I was quite selfish, I just wanted to get out." On TV this would sound like good dialogue, but in fiction it's just too easy. You need the characters to be more oblique, to not give up information in this way. Every revelation they make should be like trying to get blood out of a stone.

As always, these are my opinions and they're not written in stone.

Well, actually, they are. But only for me. I grugdingly allow people the right to see things differently!

I would like to read more of this and to know more about your intentions, as it may mean I change my mind regarding the overall aim of the work. For all my niggles, this is a confident, mature work. I just think it can be improved.

All the best,

Richard

Great idea for a set of short stories! I liked Liverpool Street best. Will you be writing more?
Shelved.

I like stories with a London background, so this is one for me. I read Aldgate and High Street Kensington. Is it me, or is the London here from some time ago?

A simplified version of Pride and Prejudice – what a terrible idea. ‘Colourful narrowboats; you say this twice, and I’m sure you can improve on it. I thought Robert was gay…I’m still wondering about the end to that story.

I’ll do a shelf flip to encourage this.

Loved the kicker at the end of 'High Street Kensington'! Very Raymond Carver-esque. Still the odd typo here and there, but very enjoyable.
--Jason

'Liverpool Street' is fantastic. If/when I make it back to London, I want to visit Little Italy, or at least the one Angela remembers. Brilliant sensations, esp smells, describing the streets, her parents. You're missing the odd quotation mark here and there, but this is outstanding. It could be the summary of a very interesting book.
Another tiny quibble: no trains! But looking at this story as a self-contained unit, it isn't a problem at all.
--Jason

alchemist--
Very much enjoyed 'Aldgate'. One quibble, and the defect might well be in me: from the title, I thought we were starting at Aldgate, not going there. It's obvious soon enough from context that the title refers to the destination, but I was a little thrown in the beginning. King's Cross takes trains mainly from the North, yeah? Maybe some sort of reference, however vague, to the narrator's home geography? (I'm a map geek, so your cover and the setting both sucked me in.)
OK if I comment on every stop along the way? And shelve this?
--Jason

I like this story and will shelf the book - Noreen

I enjoyed Aldgate very much and I think it's a great idea for a book of stories. Onto the shelf without more ado.

I love this one particularly.... so very real. I was lucky enough to grow up in suburban, middle class comfort in Surrey, but I know plenty of people whose life experience matches this so closely....... superb.