Read books online - Lykaia by Sharon Van Orman

HarperCollins Wrote

When Dr Sophia Katsaros, a Forensic Pathologist living in modern day Chicago, receives word that her two brothers have disappeared from their apartment in Greece, she travels to Europe to learn more. Although characterised by her Western reliance on logic and empirical systems of knowledge, Dr Kat is unable to ignore her hunch that there is more to her brothers’ disappearance than is first apparent. Confronted by the cryptic reactions of the locals and disturbing body of evidence, she begins to consider the possibility that their disappearance might relate to the Lykaia: an ancient, cannibalistic ritual rumoured to transform men to wolves.

‘Lykaia’ falls within the fantasy genre, but stands out from the current fashion for epic Fantasy by using a modern setting and including elements of mystery and thriller. The narrative takes as its basis the Greek myth of King Lycaonas and his fifty sons, transformed into wolves by Zeus after challenging the God’s divinity. This works well as a hook; resituating the myth within the context of the 21st century helps you avoid ‘Lykaia’ being too niche or too overdone.

There are some areas, particularly where the plot and characterization are concerned, that are under-developed, but these could be resolved. On first reading I felt a key issue to be that, though evident, Dr Kat’s struggle to defy her natural reliance on fact and logical probability to consider the implausible is not complex enough. Further motivation for her entertainment of the possibility of the supernatural, even when the narrative sets her firmly against it, would make her dilemma more compelling.

Following on from this, Dr Kat’s inconsistent reaction to her brothers’ potential death is problematic – you need to tease out and clarify why she reacts in the way that she does: oscillating between extreme concern, grief, detachment, and curiosity. It’s not that these are an unlikely array of emotions to experience in her situation, but I didn’t believe as a reader that she was conflicted. I would have liked to have the narrative expand on the idea of ‘that other voice, the one that enabled me to do my job without breaking down [and] demanded that I set these emotions aside’ – this, I believe, could provide a rationale for what at times seem like paradoxical responses.

The writing is atmospheric and at times very effective: during the opening sequence the uncertainty as to whether we’re following a man or a wolf emphasises the animalistic nature of humans, unsettling the boundaries between reality and supernatural from the very start. You also do well to create good levels of tension throughout the novel, particularly where the narrative was both fast-paced and evocative. There are other moments, however, where you could pare the language down – sometimes the metaphors or descriptive passages can be repetitive and a hindrance to the story. The description of dawn/dusk ‘heralding’ the day/night , for example, recurs a number of times, while similes including the wooden staircase ‘that reached up towards the second floor, questing like a lover’ feel over written and not in keeping with the broader narrative tone.

At times the narrative voice can be a little wooden, mainly when in the first person. The overly-sentimental nature of Dr Kat’s emotional responses to her brothers (‘the bond that grew between my brothers and I was without measure...It was only now that I realized what I had squandered. Time. It was like the spoken word and loosened arrow, all things that could never be retrieved.’) can come across as contrived, contributing to a more general tendency to labour the point that she is dispassionate and rational without being emotionally sterile. You establish Dr Kat as likeable and relatable through other details – her sarcastic sense of humour, playfully chastising interactions with the young intern at work, and her tedious relationship with her mother – so I don’t feel that this sentimentality is necessary to ‘humanise’ her.

Structurally, I am unsure about the effectiveness of the short ‘sections’. At times these are illuminating, juxtaposing interesting elements of the text – Dr Kat dissecting dead bodies and wolves tearing them apart – while maintaining the fast pace of the narrative; but at other times they are under developed and occasionally distracting (the story hops around quite a lot!). But, I appreciate that this may be a personal preference.

Finally, the inclusion of different mythological narratives (Greek mythology alongside your conception of the ‘Queen of the woods’) could have the potential to confuse; it would be worth clarifying how these different threads are entwined. While the metamorphosis trope is clearly lifted from Greek mythology, the way it was reworked in ‘Lykaia’ wasn’t immediately clear to me: some of the wolves were more ‘man’ while others were more ‘wolf’. It’s not necessary for you to reveal everything early on or restructure the story, but you need to consolidate what has happened at each point. This might be accomplished in a dialogue between, say, Stavros and the Wolf King, who could state in more explicit terms what has occurred without detracting from the suspense. I found that it was only on a second reading that some things became clear, but you can’t rely on all readers taking such considerations, so it’s important to ensure the details are clearly drawn out for a first time reader.

In all, I think you have a very marketable concept and that that writing is generally good. It does need some work though, but if you are willing to take time to conduct edits, and work on some of the issues raised above (all of which are a testimony to how engaging your character and plot really are), then I think that ‘Lykaia’ has definite publishing potential, and I wish you the best of luck with it.

Maevesleibhin wrote 143 days ago

Lykaia
Sharon,
I have read all 17 chapters you posted with great pleasure. This is one of the best written and orchestrated paranormal novels I have read on or off Authonomy, particularly as you chose werewolves, which is surely one of the hardest ones to pull off. I was very impressed by your ability to make this subject exciting and relevant, your subtle descriptions and character development, and your great pacing.
Hook and plot- I am on an anti-prologue kick right now. I think it is way overused as a mechanism to make up for a slow start. However, in your case the description of the ritual works very well to create an ambiance and background. Particularly as you do not rely just on it, but use your first chapter for a proper hook. How fantastic, this little moment from "six feet under" as an introduction to Kat! What a fabulous way to hook me into the story. Realizing the connection between the character in the first few paragraphs and the last line of a chapter was a real fantastic moment of orchestration. Very well done.
And by this point you are completely hooked, whether by the occult descriptions or the morgue scene.
The plot is brilliantly developed. You introduce the idea of the missing brothers early enough to make her searching them a clear goal. Then you pursue that goal deliberately. However, not before giving us some really fantastic character development. This interlaced with the story of the young boy being initiated to the rites. You brilliantly keep this scary but clean, dealing with my sensibilities as a parent, and making the child safe in the company of wolves.
Character development. Two fantastic characters. First, Kat with her analytical mind- what a perfect MC for a paranormal novel! A forensics physician! It is brilliant (I know, not the first time it is used, but this is a werewolf story!). But you develop her with so much humour and subtlety that she is truly fun to follow. You do this well by showing her in the context of her work, which you make entertaining through the car accident and sushi stories; her relationship with her mother, and her trip to Greece, where you really relish in the sentiment of the diaspora coming home. She is very well fleshed out without being overly detailed.
The boy is also very well developed in his shy, secluded and frightened way. I felt him open up to the wolf who adopts him, felt his intimidation of his father, his amazement at not being locked in, his gratitude for being allowed to part of the group, and his horror at what he sees ... You balance very well the line between fearful and safe with this small child.
The supporting characters, particularly Arthur, are well painted. I think that the only exception is the girlfriend, who comes across a bit superficial, while the landlord was barely described but was somehow satisfactory (something about landlords, they require meagre description).
Ambiance and description. I felt that this was a very well crafted book from this point of view. Particularly in the Greece sections and the temple where the rites take place you were generous with your descriptions without being too longwinded.
Tone and comic elements were equally great. It is hard to take a werewolf story completely seriously, but you did a great job taking the comic relief away from the metamorphosis by placing it in other sections. Her skepticism heightens the tone of the book and makes it a much more pleasant read.
I did not check your research, but you either did your homework or fake it very well.
Mechanics- in spite of an early error that you already corrected, I saw few typos, which I indicate below. The writing is fluid and enjoyable. Sometimes you separate sentence fragments by periods rather than commas, which may be stylistic. With regards to the Greek, I go back and forth as to whether I would prefer if you use the Greek alphabet. I guess you can ask Yannis that.

comments as I read
Prologue
"Their ancestors had long spoke of a ceremony that occurred on the mountain and the pile of ash that served as an altar. Modern science and technology eschewed such things as folklore."
Should be "spoken" Are you sure you want "eschewed" and nit "dismissed"
Good introduction.

2
" and life it seemed was perfect.". Recommend comma after "life"
Maybe stars between the second person parts?
"My intern whose skin was deathly gray" comma after "intern"?
"life long drunk" life-long

Ooh, bummer.
3
Good character development.
"The answering machine beeped ending my mothers lecture about how I wasn’t getting any younger. I had been trying to do that for years. "
:). But it should be "mother's"
Very good. I like the Greek. I go back and forth on whether I think it would be better to use the greek alphabet.
4
This is very good.
I like the animal tension you build.
5
This is really great. I love how you give the background of the victims before the autopsy.
6
"To his left was a wooden staircase that reached up towards the second floor, questing like a lover."
Nice
Nice terror.
7 fantastic.
8
Great place description.
9
"A blanket of verdant growth so lush and green a haze floated over it, almost as if a vapor layer had descended for a foggy kiss, spread out before the mountains." fantastic description.
"And so I walked " missing period at the end of the sentence.

Locard’s Exchange Principle explained... Very good. It is great to have that part of my brain ticked.

10
"A denial of guilt died upon his lips when he turned and saw the shadow that stood at the threshold." not sure what that means. Why denial?
"That thought instantly calmed him and so with a stronger voice he called the wolf again. This time walking over to the bed." I recommend a comma rather than a period after "again"
Fantastic relationship development here.

11
Good moving forward of the plot.
I like how careful you have been with the paranormal, being careful to be subtle.
12
"I set the machine aside and grabbed Dimitri’s Dell. It was a big laptop with a 17 inch screen and full keyboard. He used it for school. It was meant to work. Along with his laptop where seven single subject 100 page notebooks. And each was covered with meticulous notes."
Again, sentence fragments rather than commas. Any reason you describe it as a Dell?

"Each one had a city named after them." after him? (concordance with one)
"This one caught my interest for several reason. Dimitri..." reasons
"I had spent hours pouring over my brothers notes" brother's

Very good development of the detective story part.
13.
"The boys legs trembled." boy's

"who stood next to raging fire enclosed by a wall of stone as high as the boys waist." next to a raging fire, or the raging fire.

"Each one threw their jar into the flames and each time, for second or two, " his (again, concordance)
"He saw few more people were huddled around the perimeter, watching." A few more...

"Long pain ridden terrified screams." suggest "pain-ridden, terrified screams"

Very good description and suspense.

14
"You brothers believed in them,” Your

"He is a friend of my fathers. " apostrophe missing- father's
"But this lone girls heartbroken sobs did me in. " girl's

I think you need to explain why she did not go to Andreas herself.

15. Good. Not too spooky, not too trite. Just right.

16
"They would have to have nail beds that produced claws as opposed to fingernails ."
Very good

"It takes nine months to form an human" A human.

I really like the way you do her skepticism.
17
"He peered in. Saw the men gathered around the fire." suggest comma instead.

Very well balanced explanation.

"They were deeply furred. Deeply muscled and huge. Larger than any wolf should be. " again, suggest commas instead of periods.

This is really a great read. Six stars and will go on my shelf on the next shuffle.

All the best,
Maeve

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sassychick wrote 105 days ago

I can normally tell by the pitch if a novel is going to interest me or not, and as soon as i finished the 1st paragragh of your pitch i had a feeling this was a novel i could loose myself in.
I feel bad because when people leave me feedback on my novel i enjoy hearing their opinions on how to improve it and i cant offer you the same. i LOVE Lykaia. Your novel is gripping, edgy, and well written. I would not have expected to find it on a website like this because it seems better suited to already be for sale in book stores. I am a big fan of paranormal novels, and even more so when they included greek mythology.
Sorry i couldnt be of anymore use then an ego boost of a new fan but i think this book is great and should be on the editors desk pronto.
High ratings and ill make room on my shelf for its newest edition.
Amanda

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Janelle Stalder wrote 105 days ago

Well I officially got no work done today, since I could not stop myself from reading this. I wish I could read the rest, and meet this Marcus character. I think that might have been the only thing it was missing, a little bit of some good ol' romance. The writing is amazing, and flows wonderfully. You gave us information without it feeling like I was reading a text book, and on the brink of falling asleep. Instead you gave us little bits at a time, which made it an easy read. I like the main character and her way of thinking. It nice to see someone not just accept something as crazy as a werewolf in the time period of a second. In this book you can actually see the character trying to rationalize what she is learning, and fighting against her nature to assume magic is just something of myth. It really is a wonderful book, and I REALLY want to read the rest :)

Best of luck in the future,

Janelle Stalder
Author of Eden

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Oriax wrote 123 days ago

Sharon,
I read this because I saw Maeve liked it, which is good enough for me. I read it, not stumbling over badly put together phrases, overwritten description and amateurish dialogue. Just read it. I don’t often read thrillers (Dan Simmons and Dean Koontz being the exceptions) but this held my attention all the way through. There doesn’t seem any point nitpicking, you don’t do that with a real, enjoyable read. The few typos I saw I’m sure you’ll pick up. I’ll just point out one:

‘as was its won’t.’ should be wont. chapter 6 Stavros para 4th from end.

Congratulations, this deserves to be published. I can’t do more than six star it and put it on the waiting list for my shelf.
Cheers
Jane

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Stark Silvercoin wrote 125 days ago

Lykaia is a great example of a horror/fantasy tale told well without resorting to a lot of in-your-face bloodletting and other techniques that generally turn off non-teen readers. In fact, many of the supernatural elements in Lykaia are revealed slowly and naturally as part of the overall story. Some are even hinted at so that alert readers can make educated guesses that may come true.

Author Sharon Van Orman is a master of characterization, and readers will fall in love with the main character, forensic pathologist Sophia Katsaros. She seems like a real person and has a very well-defined life outside of the supernatural elements of the story. It’s interesting just watching her do her job trying to solve the mysteries of people’s deaths in her morgue. I’m no expert, but the details presented in that area seem realistic (and gross) to me. It’s funny that I found myself cringing during the more normal-life type scenes in a book of this type due to the excellent descriptions presented. Adding a few more references to the smells might enhance this even more, as I’m sure the stomach contents of a dead person are fairly odorous.

Orman also has done a lot of research into Greece and Greek mythology, which the supernatural part of the tale hinges on. I like the addition of the Greek language from time to time, and the descriptions of the scenes that take place in the Greek forests are vivid and enjoyable.

Lykaia is also a unique tale, especially as Lycanthropes go. They seem to be over-used and almost passé with each new book about them, but here they are given a realistic treatment, a believable back-story and sufficient motivations.

Lykaia will blast some needed fresh air into this stagnant genre. I have little doubt about its ability to capture a legion of adoring fans.

John Breeden II
Old Number Seven

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lucidreamer wrote 1 day ago

I love mythology, and I definitly found this interesting and I look forward to reading more. You have a wonderful writing style and I love the detail. I could see it, smell it and taste it. That was so refreshing to read. Thank you.
I wish you the best on this. You have a wonderful write.
Dawn

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johnhitachi55 wrote 38 days ago

I took an interest in your story because I feel that the story starts off slow-- there's no hook to grab me and the atmosphere and the story but I could definitely is brilliantly developed. Easy to read, and enjoyable. Hook and plot-quirky blend of humour.

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Tarzan For Real wrote 54 days ago

Congratulations Sharon! It's great writing and I'm glad I put "Lykaia" on my shelf.

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panos wrote 54 days ago

Well done.

Panos

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leejohn wrote 55 days ago

Top of the editors pile Sharon! Well done. I have read the first 3 chapters. Good sense of direction, that keeps the reader interested, and not 'six feet under' I loved The da Vinci code, as you love The Underworld. I'll read more tomorrow. :)

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GregJosephDaily wrote 55 days ago

It sounds like everyone loves your book. That is good news. I think the story has potential, but I really couldn't get into it for the language. To my ear the language sounds forced and unnatural. Two examples:
-"enjoying the clean, crisp taste." Cliche sorry.
-"Truly, it would be a mercy to kill him." Now when would we every hear a phrase like this in real life. I get that it is fantasy...so what?

I'm just one person. Everyone else seemed to love it. Good luck with the book.

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mick.langan wrote 56 days ago

Thank you for a very enjoyable read, the story was well put together and it had good blend of real and secret which I liked. The reason I picked it up was in an attempt to find something that had the magical without the teenage angst. I am pleased to say I found it, my work is on the same road as yours, in as much as it it contains all the elements of a supernatural novel, but without the romance or dumbing down. Good characters remaining true to them selves and carrying the story on from their word into ours.
Thank you , Mick

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J C Michael wrote 57 days ago

Hi Sharon,
Just thought I'd drop by and bestow a few stars on you as you bid to hold onto that top spot. I only had time to read the first few chapters last night but your position is clearly deserved and I hope you get a good critique from HC.
Afraid that's it, should be working as it is, and I'm sure most points are covered below anyway, so I'll sign off with a big well done.
Regards,
James

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Project Z wrote 58 days ago

I'm quite fond of this book, akshally.

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Scott Toney wrote 58 days ago

Sharon,

I began reading Lykaia recently and am really enjoying your book! I'll be excited to see your Harper Collins review soon! 6 stars gladly given!

Have a fantastic day!

- Scott, The Ark of Humanity

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Panzer Steegle wrote 61 days ago

I love the ways your words just flow! Each and every single one leading to the next in a beautiful rhythm carrying the story on their back as a light shirt! I had to comment before I continued. This is a definite shelf for me!

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Karen Eisenbrey wrote 61 days ago

Sharon,

I read the first three chapters of Lykaia, and wish I had time for more! The prologue provides a mysterious and horrifying opening. Then we meet Dr. Kat, an appealing protagonist: completely rational, yet compassionate, well acquainted with death and blood, but very much alive. I enjoyed the details of her domestic set-up -- they reveal a lot about her. Her mother's messages serve a comic purpose, then suddenly twist when she calls at the end of chapter 2. And we are propelled headlong into the story!

The amount of detail about William Stanton leads me to believe that he or his family will come up later in the story, but I haven't read far enough to know that. If this is not the case, then you should think about the amount of detail.

So little to nitpick that it's hardly worth mentioning, but I did encounter 2 typos:

Ch 1
imaged should be imagined

Ch 2
immerge should be emerge

6 stars and backed!

Karen Eisenbrey
CRANE'S WAY
ENDURANCE
TIME SQUARED

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PWebber wrote 61 days ago

Hey Sharon, I'm new on this site. I picked your book out because it's number one and I figured I should read the best. Now I see why it's tops. Terrific writing.

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WiSpY wrote 61 days ago

Sharon - on chapter 4 now... a technical edit for typos etc would help the whole book, but the story is good. I like the Doc, she's real. You have a nice turn of phrase in many of your descriptive passages.

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WiSpY wrote 61 days ago

Hi Sharon

I think I read Chapter 1 in a FFF? It is good. Chapter 2 was a fabulous set of twists. Nice introduction of the man who would be corpse! I continue to read - I have a thing for werewolves ... as you will see in your horror thread!

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alukerai wrote 64 days ago

Congradulations on number one spot so far. I will WL your book and come to read it again soon. Cheers, Alukerai

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Diane60 wrote 66 days ago

Sharon,
Have read all 27 chapters.
Have enjoyed and was totally enveloped into your story which flowed so naturally. Characters were well drawn and the dialogue realisitc. Descriptions were just enough to give you a picture without being over done.
The switching from the different points of the main part of the story is expertly done. your number 1 place is very well deserved!
Hope it gets onto the desk and you are offered a book deal.
thanks for asking me to read it.
;)
Diane

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silvachilla wrote 66 days ago

OK Bel, I thought I best get on with reading this before it zips off to the Ed. I admit, I’m not a fan of werewolves so wasn’t sure what to make of this. Your pitch is good – not a teenager in sight! Fabulous. I really liked the opening chapter. There was no real way of knowing what era it was and I liked the timeless quality of it. The leap into the present afterwards was nicely done and I did have a little frown when the toe-tag was read out towards the end of the chapter in the morgue, especially since the opening of chapter 2 was such a nice start.

Some bits feel a bit wordy and could flow a bit better, for instance the beginning of chapter 8 – I personally think that ‘I was finally in the Greek province of Arcadia’ would read better as it would eliminate the repetition of ‘in’. But that’s only a minor quibble.

Unless I’ve read it wrong, it seems as though the wolves are made up of pure wolf and also ‘werewolf’. If this is the case, I really like it. The punishment from the Alpha was nicely done and if I was right, it’s a great way of distinguishing the two.

You have a couple of missed words and typos – loose/lose, where/were for example but otherwise this was such an easy read. You really do write beautifully – my breath puffed ahead of me like a locomotive; the rolling hills flirted around the base of the peaks – very nice. I only intended to read to chapter 9 today...yeah right! I read all 27 chapters and I really enjoyed it. The reluctance of Sophia wanting to believe what was happening was very well written and I liked the 3 different stories of Accalia (sp?), Sophia and Stavros weaving together. This is one I’d definitely want to read the rest of...

Bravo xx

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Cara Gold wrote 68 days ago

A fabulous book from what I’ve read so far!
I love the scenes with the wolves, interspersing the other threads you have going. You really captivate the reader with the opening scene; excellent imagery and unique descriptions. Looking forward to reading the rest!
All the best,
Cara

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Pretzki wrote 68 days ago

In my mind a prologue has no place in a work of fiction and as such does not merit a reading.

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luvfiction wrote 69 days ago

I'm not into Greek Methology or pranormal fantasies, though I've read several on here. The excitement of your first chapter drew me in. Changing the point of view in chapter 2 snagged the flow for me. Perhaps I can read more later. You story moved right along. If you repair errors already mentioned, I believe your book will succeed. Wishing you the best. When you get a chance, please take a look at A Scorched Family. Thanks.

Norma Davis

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BessV wrote 71 days ago

I'm through chapter 5. This is great stuff! I see you've made it to the number 1 position, and I'm not surprised. I really like your writing style. It's lyrical, but relaxed. All the characters are also very well drawn and easy to distinguish. You've done a particularly good job describing the viewpoint of a wolf. I especially like Dr. Kat's sections, but I see why you rotate and they are all good. I also like how you make the main character so logical. That way, if she ends up believing the werewolf story, we as readers will give it more credibility. Plus the phone call about her brothers is a great inciting inident, and I find myself wanting to know what happened. When I rotate my shelf, I will place yours on it. Good job!

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Bill Carrigan wrote 73 days ago

On second reading, Sharon, I decided to back "Lykaia." I like the way you established initially a major player, the time and place, and the back story (the priest's legend). But I was confused on my first reading and had to pause. In the paragraph starting, "This made him laugh," who is him? Soon it's obvious that the figure at the beginning was not a man but a wolf, and we're back to him. Now all is clear.

I suggest you bring this out subtly just before the priest speaks. For example, "He growled and bared his fangs." I may be stupid not to have seen it, but you'll have many stupid readers. Why not give them a clear road at the start?

All in all, though, your tale is among the best on the site and your writing is pure poetry--without rime, of course, but poetry in prose. So I've backed "Lykaia" and given it six stars.

Now, Sharon, I hope you'll take a look at "The Doctor of Summitville." If you find anything confusing, please let me know. --Best of luck, Bill

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sticksandstones wrote 73 days ago

Hi Sharon,

this isn't my usual kind of reading material. However, you write it so well that I was instantly gripped.

The prologue is excellent and you provide just enough background information about the 'ritual' to keep your readers hooked.

Pacing and dialogue are both pitch perfect. I'm not usually a fan of horror/mythological fiction, but the dark tone really fits.

You make it sound so believable I was simply intrigued to read on.

Chapter two (Morgues, Zombies and Toe Tags - great title), carries on in exactly the same style.

Not just brilliantly written, but brilliantly executed. Again, you don't bog the story with unnecessary amounts of unncessary information . . . It's kept interesting enough, to keep me guessing and keep my interest. I'm glad you were brave enough to kill off a character almost immediately (poor William Stanton). This alone proves that you're confident enough (and not afraid) to take risks.

I love the introduction of the missing brothers in Chapter three. The Greek phone conversation plays out exceptionally well and is entirely believable. Your characters are always well rounded, Sophia in particular is a sympathetic character. She has work ethics, but doesn't enjoy speaking to her patronising mother.

I will watchlist and put on my shelf in order to read more.

Typos and the odd spelling/grammatical errors are easy to ignore when a book's this well written. I would definitely buy it if it was on sale and I'd picked it up more out of curiousity than interest. Very glad you've steered away from Twilight style romance - although I've not seen the films this is clearly more An American Werewolf in Paris.

Totally compelling and six stars as it's the best thing I've read on here so far.

Ben

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CJMcKee wrote 74 days ago

Absolutely fantastic! I have read all the chapters and LOVE IT! Werewolves have always been my favorite "horror" creature and you brought this to life so well. I love the mix of ancient and modern crossovers. Looking forward to reading more!!

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MsRubyRed wrote 75 days ago

Hi,

I've just joined up, not sure what I'm doing yet, but I thought I'd start at the top of the charts and work my way down. Is that a good idea?

I was drawn in by your pitch and your superb cover. I read the first three chapters before my coffee went cold. Loved the voice and the elegance of your prose. It gave me goosepimples - and every girl likes that.

I just need to figure out who to put you on my shelf now . . .

Will read more later.

You're very talented.

Ruby
xxx

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daylineaton1991 wrote 75 days ago

I've read the prologue and I have to say that it was really good. I cannot wait to readthe rest. Great start!

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daylineaton1991 wrote 75 days ago

I've read the prologue and I have to say that it was really good. I cannot wait to readthe rest. Great start!

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daylineaton1991 wrote 75 days ago

I've read the prologue and I have to say that it was really good. I cannot wait to readthe rest. Great start!

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Dean Lombardo wrote 75 days ago

Hi Sharon,
This is a very good tale you're telling, and I can feel your passion for it. I like the way you connect each chapter thematically -- for example, Chapter 1 ends with the promise of death (the priest's), while Chapter 2 begins with a birth, and we see nature's balance at work, and then we return to death again in Chapter 3 (a two-bagger, if you will). I believe this clever life-and-death, addition-and-subtraction element you've woven might even influence unknowing readers at a subsconsious level, which helps establish tension and mood in a very deep way, and given how wolves are seen as a culling force in nature I might have some assumptions where this might go, though I am sure whatever folllows is going to be frightening and fascinating regardless of where it leads the reader.
I also appreciate the way you are plotting using the disappearance of the missing brothers to bring our protagonist to the land of her ancestors. Thank you for piqueing my interest in your story, and I plan to read more when time allows. Good luck with this imaginative, mythological tale.
In the last line of Chapter 3, I think you mean "brothers" not "bothers."
Please visit and comment on "Space Games" by me, Dean Lombardo, if you get a chance. I would really appreciate that.

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Freddie Omm wrote 75 days ago

muzzled!

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Lizziana wrote 76 days ago

Hi Sharon,

Well, since this is at the number 1 spot, I'm going to have a hard time giving you any feedback that you haven't already gotten, but here it goes ....

I love mythology, and combining it with the present day is a really neat idea. The prologue pulled me in. I'm not sure if you made up that story, or if it really is part of Greek mythology, but either way, it's definitely an interesting angle to connect werewolves to the Greeks, instead of the usual native/aboriginal mythology.

The first chapter a bit jarring, having the third person POV and then going to a first person POV, but as you do this in later chapters, I can see that it's kind of necessary. The only thing I'd complain about is that I just knew that guy was going to die before it happened - whenever things are going really well for a character, you just know that they're going to die. lol

I read up to chapter 4, and I really like the combined elements of a few different genres. This sort of reads like a mystery to me, but I know it's also going to be paranormal. I also like Sophie.

As for your writing style, I don't mind it, but just watch out for comma usage. There were several instances where there should have been a comma,and there wasn't one. Also, you used "loose" a couple times, and I think you meant "lose".

I have room, so I'll keep it on my bookshelf. Good luck with your review from HC! You have no idea how jealous I am.

Liz

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nautaV wrote 78 days ago

Dear Sharon, I've just read two initial chapters of your Lykaya. It's fantastic! The very first lines involve you in a breathtaking story, spiced with intrigue. Your language is perfect, your style suits the genre. But all that wouldn't work if it were not for tiny details, that make your narration, your images bright and vivid. They are : the wife, injecting herself with hormones, the long-standing tradition of giving a certain name, the squeaking door, that can not be conquered with no amount of lubricant, etc.. The ending of ch.2:I like the way you've brought the reader to know about William Stanton's death. It's one more evidence of your skill.
Thanks a lot, all stars and backing, of course.

Try to find time to read my short story. I'd appreciate your opinion greatly!

Val But Escape.

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RSLF wrote 78 days ago

Hello! Sorry it took me so long to get round to reading this. I've read the first three chapters. I like you're writing and it flows well, but technically this book doesn't seem very polished. Just little things like typos or punctuation mix ups. Personally I think you're writing would benefit from more commas (I listed one example below). Also I have to admit I'm not keen on the switching from third person to first. It just jars a bit. But the story so far is good, very intriguing and I'd like to read more, which is always the main thing!

Anyway some technical points:

When someone is speaking (like the priest in the prologue), you don't need the speech marks at the end of their paragraph of dialogue as long as the next paragraph goes straight to them speaking again. And I've explained that terribly, sorry.

"What?" He asked(,) breaking into a huge grin (no need for the capital "h")

"Yes, this is Mr. Andreas. You have two brothers, Ciro and Dimitri, yes?" He asked (again, no need for capital "h" and you missed off the full stop).

No, boys, no rent (first comma not needed)

Good luck!

S Carter
DOMUS INTER

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JMF wrote 78 days ago

Hi there. Thought I'd take a look as your cover looks so good. You have interesting idea for a story here and I enjoyed your first two chapters. The prologue didn't interest me as much - I didn't find it particularly gripping, but that might be just because I'm not interested in wolves! I warmed much more to the story when we got to meet some of the human characters involved.
I think you meant to say "brothers" at the end of your second chapter.
All in all this looks like it could be an involving, original story and one which I will gladly return to. Highly starred and on my WL for now.
All the best.
Julia
Shadow Jumper

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Lucy Heath wrote 79 days ago

Hi Sharon,
I'm not a big fan of fantasy so the werewolf sections were not really for me. However, you do an excellent job of introducing the character of Sophia and setting the story in motion and I can definitely see why this is so popular amongst readers on Authonomy. A couple of times I think you may have written 'loose' when you meant 'lose' but overall your writing flows very naturally.
All the best with it,
Lucy

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Bug289 wrote 79 days ago

Sharon,
I unfortunately have to go to sleep, work in the morning and I'm not good at being tired at my desk. Before I do I want to tell you what I think so I don't forget it.

I'm hooked. 4 chapters in and I want to know more. I will be reading on at every chance I get...except I won't be able to get to the end and that will probably kill me so perhaps I should stop now :).

I picked up a few points as I went but nothing ground breaking.

Ch1
I didn't really understand the Zeus story, perhaps because I haven't read a lot of the old legends for a very long time. But wasn't sure why the people were angry at Zeus, when they worship him avidly; why they sacrificed the boy and why Zeus was angry. It was a little confusing but it didn't deter me from continuing.

Ch2
1st para after the ******s, 2nd sentence '...no one they had...', they 'they' isn't necessary.

Ch3
3rd para 'the children's ward that was on the eighth floor... is clunky, perhaps just 'the children's ward on the eighth floor...'. There were a couple of similar instances I think, where you've put unnecessary words in. Final edit stuff, needs a fresh pair of eyes to see :)
Another one: 'and after years of examining victims of car accidents, like the ones tonight, I was reluctant...', the 'like the ones tonight' is unnecessary because we've already read about them.

There are also occasions where words are missed ' chasing the day and heralding te night' : 'chasing the day away...'

And lastly, you use loose when you mean lose but that might actually be an US/UK language thing.

Your imagery is perfect, Sophia is likeable and easy to follow, I feel like I understand her after one chapter on the subject. There's tension and mystery in the first few chapters, leading me to read more. The chapters are a nice length...need I say more?

The rest is editing. I hope you get it published, I would buy it (even with American english :))

Danielle

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Bug289 wrote 79 days ago

Sharon,
I unfortunately have to go to sleep, work in the morning and I'm not good at being tired at my desk. Before I do I want to tell you what I think so I don't forget it.

I'm hooked. 4 chapters in and I want to know more. I will be reading on at every chance I get...except I won't be able to get to the end and that will probably kill me so perhaps I should stop now :).

I picked up a few points as I went but nothing ground breaking.

Ch1
I didn't really understand the Zeus story, perhaps because I haven't read a lot of the old legends for a very long time. But wasn't sure why the people were angry at Zeus, when they worship him avidly; why they sacrificed the boy and why Zeus was angry. It was a little confusing but it didn't deter me from continuing.

Ch2
1st para after the ******s, 2nd sentence '...no one they had...', they 'they' isn't necessary.

Ch3
3rd para 'the children's ward that was on the eighth floor... is clunky, perhaps just 'the children's ward on the eighth floor...'. There were a couple of similar instances I think, where you've put unnecessary words in. Final edit stuff, needs a fresh pair of eyes to see :)
Another one: 'and after years of examining victims of car accidents, like the ones tonight, I was reluctant...', the 'like the ones tonight' is unnecessary because we've already read about them.

There are also occasions where words are missed ' chasing the day and heralding te night' : 'chasing the day away...'

And lastly, you use loose when you mean lose but that might actually be an US/UK language thing.

Your imagery is perfect, Sophia is likeable and easy to follow, I feel like I understand her after one chapter on the subject. There's tension and mystery in the first few chapters, leading me to read more. The chapters are a nice length...need I say more?

The rest is editing. I hope you get it published, I would buy it (even with American english :))

Danielle

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Lainie wrote 79 days ago

Hi Sharon,
Just wanted to say hoe pleased I am that your novel is in the top 5. I loved reading this book and really hope to see it in print, so I can finish reading the rest of it. Well done!!

Lainie :)

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Lainie wrote 79 days ago

Hi Sharon,
Just wanted to say hoe pleased I am that your novel is in the top 5. I loved reading this book and really hope to see it in print, so I can finish reading the rest of it. Well done!!

Lainie :)

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Amber315 wrote 79 days ago

Sorry it took me so long to get back to you. The first time I tried to read this, it wouldn't come up. This isn't my kind of thing. I'm not as into scary stuff as I used to be, but I do love werewolves. I was a bit confused with the switching back and forth from first to third pov. The thing is, I hate first person pov. Surprisingly though, I liked your first person better than the third. Even though this isn't my cup of tea, it's easy to see why it is so popular. If this doesn't get published, I'll be surprised. It is on my shelf now. :)

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bopeep wrote 80 days ago

I printed this book out this morning, simply because it seemed so popular. I really thought another warewolf story. How wrong I was!
It took me a while to get into it, but I'm now at chp 6 and will be saving the rest for a weekend treat. Amazing writing, writing from different perspectives shows real talent.
I can see how this book made it so high, when can I buy lol!!!!

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baughmama wrote 80 days ago

I read your first chapter. I can't resist a book with werewolves :) I love your imagery and your imagination. I can already see why you're number one. I only have one suggestion, you can discard if you like.
1. The hills that rose on either side stayed lush and green long after the rest of the country had been baked to harsh aridity by the summer sun.
(removed 'thanks to this stream', seemed unnecessary as the sentence implies this anyway)
I will be back to read more when I get a chance. I haven't been on authonomy much lately. best of luck to you!

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JKass wrote 81 days ago

I would go into a long diatribe of how amazing this book is, but the other 140 comments and your #1 ranking say more then I ever could.

Simply put, amazing work. Its easy to see why its the #1 ranked work on Authonomy!

Joe,
The Hooligans Of Kandahar

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fictionguy wrote 81 days ago

All that blood, and you looked like such a nice womam. Just kidding. The opening is great, even for me who don't read or write paranormal/fantasy novels. I write literary/mainstream novels. An old habit writing about real life. However, youi did a good job telling the story, show talent with with your narrative and your prose setting the scene is very good. The only problem I had was from the first chapter to the beginning of the second chapter, I did not see how you went from the gods to a real person. Maybe chapter one should be a prologue . Or maybe I shouild read it again at a later date. Thes are the kind of books that people are reading today, so you may have a good shot at traditioonal publishing. Good Luck. I'm rooting for you.

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GoodBookLook wrote 81 days ago

Like your book and I think you deserve your number #1 position.

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Maevesman wrote 82 days ago

Maeve told me that I was being remiss by not writing here. She said that I had to write a comment on your book. She said that I had to back your book too. She seemed to think this was funny.
Well, I have not had the pleasure yet, but I do remember when Maeve read it. It was over christmas and she stayed up late into the night. She blamed jet lag, but then she said that she had discovered this fabulous werewolf story that was a cross with a forensics thriller.
She has high standards, so this is really a high compliment.

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cicuta wrote 82 days ago

A tale that is both contemporary and fresh, despite the flood of Vampire and Werewolf stories, which cannot and never will...Live up to the quality of originality...But Sharon, ( If I may ), has managed to present an undertone of literature, which leaves the reader always wanting more. You have much to offer, with your imaginative prose, and personal insight into your own latent desires. A blood drenching quality of magical incantations, and with the pure recherche of a true paramour. Good luck and best wishes with your book. Take care Carl, (Cicuta), ARCANE.

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M. E. Harrow wrote 83 days ago

I like the way you write from different perspectives - it provides interest for the reader. as soon as the stream laughed its way over rocks I knew this would be a good descriptive book.

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Kestrelraptorial wrote 83 days ago

I like the mythology of your story, and I really like your depictions of predators on the hunt, and the pack life. Sophia's chapters dragged a bit for me, and her investigations are taking a bit long, although I do like the characters she meets. I like the werewolf chapters much better.

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Lykaia

Sharon Van Orman

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