Book Jacket

 

rank  Editors Pick
word count 26252
date submitted 01.12.2008
date updated 30.11.2009
genres: Fiction, Chick Lit, Gay, Crime
classification: moderate
incomplete

Tangled Web (Confessions of an Internet G33k, Book One)

Traci York

The truth shall set you free. Except for Cat - the truth sent her best friend to jail.

 

2004 was an interesting year for Cat.

First, her boyfriend Jack finally asks her to move in, but months later, decides he's not ready for a serious girlfriend.

Then she finds a new apartment and a new best friend, Sharon, in the tiny town of Newmarket, New Hampshire. Sharon's failed marriage, her obsession with an ex-girlfriend, and her crush on her straight roommate Monica make Cat feel better about the confusing way her relationship with Jack is over... but not over.

The two women soon become inseparable - until Cat discovers Sharon's shocking crime and both their lives are turned upside down.

Inspired by true events, and a criminal case that changed the way New Hampshire viewed its animal cruelty laws, this story blends fictionalized people and places with actual court documents and testimony never seen before in public.

First draft - complete at approximately 99,000 words.
Cover design - Bradley Wind (http://tinyurl.com/ls8s79)

 
rate the book

to rate this book please Register or Login

 

tags

betrayal, bisexual, computer, court, crime, cyber, email, gaming, geek, internet, justice, lesbian, love, obsession, threesome, wiccan

on 90 watchlists

542 comments

 

Text Size

Text Colour

Chapters

1

report abuse

Chapter One

"State your name for the record."

"Catherine Analise Trevor."

"Your relationship to the defendants?"

"Friend."  Anger radiated from the chair next to one of the defense attorneys.  I cleared my throat and corrected, "Former friend of Sharon.  I've never seen Elise before today."

"Can you please walk the court through the process by which you came to be in possession of the emails in question?" he asked, as though he hadn't already heard the whole story.

"Certainly, sir.  I'll try to be as brief as possible, but it's a bit ... confusing in places, because so many people were involved."  I felt the color rise in my face.  I was about to say things in a court of law like "threesome" and "lesbian lover," while revealing the passwords used by the two defendants for their email accounts.  "DoMeUpTheButt" and "LickMeLand."  It was going to be a long afternoon ...

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

Jack put the computer desk down in the center of the living room. "So, Cat - where do you want the most important piece of furniture you own?" 

I stacked a box labeled 'Kitchen' on top of two others labeled 'Books' and walked back into the room, slowly turning around to figure out the exact right spot for my cyber sanctuary.

"The Internet connection is right there by the window - how about that?"  Jack asked after I didn't answer right away, obviously not impressed by the amount of importance I was giving this decision.  While he was being more helpful than expected, given the circumstances, I still thought it should take more than playing U-Haul man for me to forgive him.

"Umm, sure, that should be fine for now."  I actually had already decided it would be the second most perfect spot (the first being back in the Dover apartment he was moving me out of, a week before he planned to lock the door for the final time).  "Can you bring my rig up next?  I want to make sure everything is running before you leave, if you don't mind."

"No problem - that was the plan.  Remember, me Hardware Geek, you Internet Geek?"

I had to laugh, and almost forgot for a moment we were no longer a couple.  He chuckled and headed down the stairs while I stayed behind to unpack the box with my ritual tools.  I wouldn't be able to sleep in this new space if I didn't know for sure my Gaia statuette made it through the trip unscathed.

His next trip up yielded my computer monitor, and in short order the rest of my rig was set up on my desk, ready to go.  "Would you like the honor?" He gestured to the power button, and I nodded while turning it on, holding my breath for a second until I saw the familiar login screen.

"So far, so good." He sat in the computer chair.  "I'll make sure you're all set and online, then we can grab the last of the stuff out of the truck."

"Thanks, that would be great."

"Hey, it's the least I could do, since..."

His voice trailed off, and I searched my brain for something to change the subject.  The last thing I wanted to do was cry in front of Jack on the first day in my first solo New Hampshire apartment.

My last place before Jack had been in my hometown of Gloucester, Massachusetts.  We met when his alarm company job took him from his home in Rochester, New Hampshire, and placed him in a foreign country of fishermen and artists. We had dated for almost four years before his company decided to close the satellite office and return to their main location.  Jack then popped the question - he held my hand tenderly as we waited for our steak tips at The Pilot House and asked, "Will you move in with me?"  I packed up my life and followed him across the state line.  That was less than a year ago.

"Hey, Cat... the Internet doesn't seem to be working.  You did call the cable company and have it switched on, right?"

"I didn't have to," I said, grateful for something mundane to talk about to keep me from the unwelcome trip down memory lane.  "My landlord Shirley said the place came with everything - heat, electric, and stuff."

"Stuff?  Did you get that in writing?"

"Okay, so maybe 'stuff' is too technical a word, but it says right in the lease all utilities are included."  I pulled a copy of the lease out of my messenger bag, and showed Jack the paragraph.

"Umm, Cat.  It does say heat and electric, but nothing about phone or Internet."

"But...," My brain refused to wrap around the concept that I was without my lifeline to the cyber world.  "She said all..."

He laughed. "Cat, people don't usually consider the Internet to be one of the necessities of life.  At least you have your cell phone, right?"

I immediately dove back into my bag, digging for my phone. 

"What's the 911?"

"Shirley said she'd be home all afternoon, if I needed anything," I said.  I dialed her number, then took deep breaths in time with each ring, chanting, "It's an easy fix... it's an easy fix... it's an... oh hi, it's Cat..."

I hung up a few minutes later, momentarily speechless.

"Well?"

"She said while they had the internet included for their last tenant, it was a special situation and Shirley didn't realize it when she talked to me.  That's why it wasn't in the lease." I felt light-headed and ridiculous.  I didn't shed a single tear when packing boxes - well, not too many anyway - but I find out I have no email and I'm struggling to hold back Niagara Falls.  I tried to focus on a way out of this.  "It's still early afternoon on a Thursday - there's a chance they could come over today and hook me up, right?"

Jack slowly shook his head in a not particularly comforting manner.  I waved him off and grabbed the Newmarket phone book from the counter.  Ten stress-filled minutes later, I hung up.

"Two weeks.  That's the soonest they can get here."

"Really?  Even though you told them you needed the Internet more than you needed food and air?"

"It's not funny!" I said with mock anger, tears forgotten.  I picked up the nearest soft thing to throw at him, which turned out to be a potholder.

He laughed and ducked.  "Keep chucking things at me and I won't tell you my brilliant idea to get you through the next two weeks."

I froze in place, another weapon in hand.  "Tell me now, or I'm warning you - I've got a kitchen towel and I know how to use it."

"Whatever happened to the whole fly and honey thing?"

"The fly didn't need to log onto the Farscape bulletin board and post a message for Ben Browder's memory book before the convention."

He raised his hands in defeat.  "I'm going to grab another load from the truck, but think about this while I'm down there - you have a wireless network card in your computer.  Couldn't you check for unsecured networks in the neighborhood?"

Almost instantly, the angel and devil popped onto my respective shoulders and began their debate. 

Angel whispered in one ear, "It's illegal and not nice to piggyback." 

Devil groused in the other, "Anyone who doesn't secure their network gets what they deserve."

"Yes, but hello - illegal. And you know Cat so couldn't pull off Rockingham County Orange with her coloring."

"It's only illegal if we get caught.  Besides, how else can she do her daily donations at the Hunger Site."

Angel broke down, admitted it might be for the greater good, and before I knew it I was in the computer chair, searching for networks.

I found two on my first try.  One had pretty low connectivity, so I decided against it.  The other one had a very strong signal.  Not surprising, given it was called "5NicholsAve," which was our building.  I took a deep breath, promised myself I would only use it for a brief moment each day to check messages and clicked "connect."

After my Google homepage was fully loaded, I sat for a moment, staring at the screen.  Jack came back upstairs, deposited more boxes in the corner of the room, then looked over my shoulder to see what was holding my interest.  He asked, "What are you waiting for - lightning to strike?" 

His nearness and easy familiarity made it difficult to dig up a comeback, but I managed, "Nope - just waiting for their bank account to finish transferring to mine."  He grinned, and we apparently had the same thought at the same moment - how much of their information was shared on their unsecured network?

He grabbed a couple of cold beers out of the fridge (yes, the six pack was the first thing I unpacked), pulled up a folding camp chair, and watched as I tentatively poked around the network.  I quickly realized this person, or people, had to have won the award for "most blindly trusting ever."  Not only were the usual shared folders shared - this network was also set up so all the computers in the house, and the printer, were connected and open to anyone who wanted to remotely plug in.

"Check out the picture folder," said my ever-porn-loving ex, and I opened it up.  Much to his disappointment, the closest thing to naked pictures were a couple of women with towels on their heads, looking like they were doing some kind of home party makeover thing.  "Think they're more than friends?" he smirked, and I reminded him women tend to be much more demonstrative with each other without any kind of sexualization attached to it. 

"Remember Charlene?" I asked, thinking of my college friend who was very huggy and physical with me.

He immediately went to his, 'Oh and please don't try to tell me she wasn't trying to get you into bed.  She so wanted you,' speech and I had to slap him on the arm.  It was disconcerting how easy it was to fall into our old banter. I started searching on the hard drive for something to change the subject.

"Hey, looks like they love the show 'Charmed'," I said, pointing out a folder with various episodes from the different seasons. 

Jack said, "Just wait till they find out their upstairs neighbor is a real life Wiccan-witch, who is forever annoyed with the 'Charmed' story lines, even though she has a crush on half the cast."

I realized the only way to back the conversation out of dangerous territory would be to walk away from the computer completely.

"Okay, okay - you win.  But I'm not going to compound my evilness in 'borrowing' the Internet by spying on my neighbors.  Especially since they go to church with my mother and brother - remember?  That's how I heard this place was for rent to begin with.  Let’s finish emptying the truck before my brother-in-law thinks I stole it and I'm on my way to Canada."  I closed down the folder and shut off my monitor. 

"Canada?  Isn't Mexico the usual destination for criminals on the run?  It's certainly a much warmer choice."  He stood up and stretched, a few stray beams of sun illuminating his face in the process.

"Yes, but since it is the usual destination, more people would look for me there.  Besides, I took French in high school, not Spanish, so my odds of understanding someone recognizing my face from the most wanted poster greatly improve," I tossed back, trying not to notice how blue his eyes were in the light.

"Yeah, and on that note, time to move the boxes - much easier than sending you cakes with files baked inside."  

 

 

Chapters

1

report abuse

To leave comments on this or any book please Register or Login

subscribe to comments for this book
HarperCollins Wrote

Tangled web, as a novel, does not sit easily within its principal genre, chick-lit. The book is a tangle of genres and styles that continually subverts the reader’s expectations. Such a fact immediately gives the story a flair of originality that is commendable. The narrative begins with a court scene in which the protagonist, Cat, is on the stand explaining her side of the events leading up to the hearing. This court case becomes a framing pattern in the novel: each chapter begins with an excerpt from the court, these excerpts serve as vehicles through which the preceding narrative is relayed, whilst these retrospective accounts, in turn, provide clues as to the nature of the court case. As already mentioned, this framework is a nice concept, immediately capturing the reader’s attention and providing an innovative vehicle to introduce the central characters. I particularly admired the way Sharon, the lead antagonist, is introduced by way of a third person whose strongly negative account is swiftly shown to be untrustworthy. Indeed there is a pattern of unreliability in the novel, which plays to the crime/detective theme that threads throughout the narrative. All characters, even Cat, are allowed to become suspect. However, whilst this tone is genuinely innovative and clever, it is also problematic. Building a network of questionable characters makes it difficult for readers to relate to figures in the narrative. Whilst this may be a workable concept in a crime/thriller novel, it jars with the chick-lit side of the narrative and characters repeatedly appear cold and flat. Further exploration of central characters would bolster the realism of the novel, and help it sit more comfortably within its primary genre.

The structure is, nonetheless, succinct and tight. It also offers a clean way to introduce the wide number of characters, events and themes to which the title alludes. The dialogue is also realistic and strong. I liked the fact that it was not over sensationalised and that it offered some depth to the characterisation. From peer reviews, I can see that some of the more candid passages of speech are often the most commended, because of their comedic appeal. However, there is also a risk inherent in this language in that, being quite unusual for the chick-lit genre, such salacious prose could offend an unprepared reader. It contrasts highly with the formal nature of the court hearing and the effect of this, whilst comedic, is occasionally jarring. I feel that toning such language or using it sparingly to develop particular characters would help to widen the appeal of the novel.

The true-story element is a real advantage in the narrative: the realism attained through the allusions to existing cult sci-fi TV shows, films, websites helps the readership identify with the narrator and the setting. However, this does also mean that it could fast become outdated, when the allusions become archaic. So it is important to keep these references as background amusements, rather than central concepts. I would also consider removing the Wiccan elements in the narrative. The resurgence in modern witches may have been a fad a few years ago in the ‘New Age’ movement, however, now it may potentially alienate readers.

In essence, this book has many positive elements; it is neat, savvy and original; it has the potential to straddle the readership boundaries of those interested in ‘chick-lit’ (with its strong female protagonist and frequent story-arcs related to sex and relationships), as well as tech-savvy female readers and those interested in the lighter side of crime-thriller; and it clearly has strong support among peer writers. However, it is also far from perfect, and I feel that there is far too much heavy editing necessary before it could be considered for publication. Particularly considering its cross-over appeal, whilst a strength in some regards, would make the book far more of a challenge to launch into an already overcrowded commercial marketplace. There is a lot of potential here. Stronger characterisation, particularly to allow more room for empathy, and a tempering of language to avoid over pushing colloquialism, would dramatically improve the script. Moreover, I think there is a lot of potential here to play around with design. For example, through the court case framework you could open up the prose to include documents and images of evidence.

Haley Brite wrote 909 days ago

Hi Tracy.

Jane Alexander insisted that I'd read your book before hers.
I'm glad she recommended you because....

I LOVE IT! L,O,V,E!
You had me at DoMeUpTheButt!! I laughed outloud and then had to explain why to my husband. He's still looking at me funny!
Seriously wonderful and funny story. I loved the bitter sweet first chapter. I felt that they were real and I felt for them. Very well written and has me begging for more.
You MC is such an easy person to love and I instantly fell for her. The fact that she, like me, has the devil and an angel on her shoulders has nothing to do with it.
I would buy this book for myself, my sister, my mother, my aunt and my mother-inlaw!!
I'm backing this with pleasure!

Haley Brite - Hart

Cader_Idris wrote 983 days ago

Hi Traci,

Three chapters in and I can clearly see the effectiveness of beginning each chapter with a blip from Cat's court testimony. You know precisely how much to divvy out, just to tease, and where to end it. I can't help but wonder how she got to this point and what is going to unfold as she gives her story.

Your dialogue does a wonderful job of revealing both Cat's character and her relationships. Any boackstory is very carefully embedded, never intrusive, so I felt like I got to know her gradually, yet fully. There is a sense of humor and caring about her. She seems so at ease with Jack I'm actually bummed it didn't work out for them, but I can also see Cat's resolve to go it on her own and start over.

Oh, and I can so relate to not having internet access for brief periods and thinking the universe is trying to tell me something. But of course I'm addicted and I grumble about it and get desperate and haul my laptop to the library. I think you've made this relatable to a heck of a lot of people by starting the story out with this one tiny problem, that seems like a minor inconvenience.

Very concise and tantalizing pitch, particularly the last two paragraphs. I was going to suggest somehow combining the second sentence about Jack with the next paragraph (as in "After her boyfriend Jack decides he's not ready for a serious relationship, she finds a new..."), because the story doesn't really begin with her moving in with him, but when she moves out on her own... but then you'd have a long clunky sentence, so I'm not sure that'd be any better.

Intriguing storyline, uncluttered writing, very good characterization. Excellent foreshadowing and hooks. Shelved.

All my best,
Gemi

tiggertoo wrote 1204 days ago

Traci
Finally got here! Well, what a surprise. It doesn;t say comedy in the genre. I was smiling the whole timeso I hope it was meant to be funny - you never know.
I agree with Piere, this is nice, tight writing. It reminded me of Nick Hornby.
I love the mixture, starting with the court case and then the main body of the story. I also praise you for finishing your chapters well. This is so important if we are to hook our readers into turning the page.
So I usually say there's no point in just praising, we're here to learn from each other and improve our work, so here's my critique (well, criticsms actually). However, in your case I can't even nit pick. Sorry
So I'll just have to BACK this won't I.
I look forward to your comments on mine and hope they are more helpful!
Best wishes
Murray
The Jin Deception

Pierre Van Rooyen wrote 1213 days ago


Dear Traci,

This is good. Very good. You write without adjectives and adverbs too. Smart work, girl. Confessions on my bookshelf, with pleasure.

Did you ever have a squizz at John Steinbeck’s Journal of a Novel, the notes he made to his agent while he was putting East of Eden down on paper?

He wrote in pencil. 1B, I think. About twenty of them which he kept in a mug on his desk. Each morning, he sat at his desk and started to meditate. And while he slipped through Alice in Wonderland’s rabbit hole to enter his story-telling universe, he sharpened his pencils, one by one.

As he left this world, he made notes to his agent about where he would take the story that day. And when he had transcended, he started writing. These notes became Journal of a Novel.

After ten months of writing eight or ten hours a day, his draft was completed. The first thing he did was delete every adjective and adverb he could find. If the noun or verb wasn’t good enough, he searched for the correct one.

Very clever. It was one of the first things I noticed about your work. Almost no adjectives or adverbs. They ruin our writing.

‘Inspired by true events’ really made me sit up and pay attention.

I found you were telling me things I didn’t know about. That was interesting.

Your opening dialogue riveted me. Strong and convincing. And you continued to engage me. ‘Grab me’ is the slang.

OK, if you ever wondered how you might improve Confessions, it might be to shorten the narrative slightly. Just take words out. Or remove a superfluous sentence here and there. Not serious. Your work already tends towards being tight. You might consider making it even tighter.

Traci, it’s not a flaw. I’m talking about polishing, nothing more.

You sent me scrambling for my dictionary. I looked up Wicca. Aha, now I understand.
Witch, I don’t believe. Craftswoman, I do.

Go well with your work. MrBlack wished me luck the other day. I just laughed. If he thinks luck has anything to do with it, he’s in for a shock.

Writing, writing, writing, re-writing, editing, tweaking and polishing and then going through the whole rigmarole again is the only way to go.

Have fun,

Pierre.

rosemariemeleady wrote 449 days ago

If you like Marian Keyes you might like my book Heroscope? Well done on getting ranked - I hope it went well for you!

Eunice Attwood wrote 602 days ago

A tantalising read, and well crafted piece. Happy yo put it on my shelf, even though you already have a star. Eunice - The Temple Dancer.

I. Alexandra wrote 747 days ago

This is an entertaining and engaging read! It's far from traditional in any way, shape or form but that is what I'm sure many people find appealing about it. I found it easy to read and to follow, which is a big plus in my book as I lose interest quickly if the beginning of a story is overly convoluted. Congratulations on making it to the ed's desk, I can clearly see why this marvelous work has done so well here. Well done!!!

Burgio wrote 764 days ago

I didn't realize when I read this that it had a star until I scrolled down to write a comment and saw the Harper/Collins note so I'm guessing now that you don't need any more comments. I'm going to make one, tho, as long as I opened this. I liked this a lot. Telling me about a character named "Cat" in your pitch pulled me in. I think your dialogue is a strength of the story (I have a dishtowel and know how to use it, for example). The pace is good; made this easy to read. I'll add this to my shelf. Burgio (Grain of Salt).

Lorri wrote 857 days ago

Great review! Congrats!

ElizaW wrote 876 days ago

I just happened across your book and starting reading and couldn't stop. You certainly left me wanting more. I hope you are planning to upload the rest. Like many others I enjoyed the way you intertwined the court room scene and the back story. Enjoyed the humor too. I see that you've already attained the highest level at Authonomy. I wish you the best with this book.

El
(Reckless Scarlett)

DawnDeane wrote 877 days ago

Hi Traci

Jane liked your book so I thought i'd give it a read. I'm hoping you'll do the same. also I'm really interested to find out what the HC Review thinks of you book. It has a great premise and I love that fact that it is based on true events. the amount of work that went into this is is amazing. great job!

say anything wrote 879 days ago

Hi Tracy, wow you can write and then some, this book took off like a rocket, very funny but now i think the good times are all over, this seemingly fabulous stroke of good luck with the free internet is going to be a virtual highway to hell lol I can feel it. Since this is my very favorite kind of book especially if well written and oh it is, I'll see you next chapter. Backed with pleasure

Kathleen

Eleanor Anne Dudley wrote 880 days ago

Well written, nice dialogue, full of americanisms. I like the intrigue, I wish you had uploaded the whole book
I will back this, it deserves to climb the long ladder.
Best of luck.
Eleanor.

Rodeo wrote 897 days ago

Okay, you had me at "My landlord Shirley". hahahahah. You can actually write! Thank GOD! I am not much of a mystery reader, but I would come back to this. DISCLAIMER: I will not puff my criticisms. I will not say this is the best book I have ever read, unless by some miracle, it is!

TedT1025B wrote 905 days ago

Hi Traci :)

I've backed the book -- excellent writing.

Ted

cfarer wrote 905 days ago

Congrats on the gold, Traci.
Marty

PatrickArmstead wrote 907 days ago

Hi Traci,

I' ve got to applaud you on the quality of your work. I 've read the first three chapters so far, and I have found the story addicting. Cat is a perfect MC, and your skill brings her vividly to life for the reader. Good Luck on the ED!

Patrick Armstead
Dark Lands

Sarah. Just Sarah wrote 907 days ago

I can relate to this on many levels. Women (As I show in Appreciating Angels) have a very very special bond and you write about this beautifully. I wish it were in print - it SHOULD be in print because its the sort of book I want to take time over and to re read in bed. I am still reading and I back this book without question.

Miss Sully wrote 907 days ago

Traci this is brilliant, it really is! I love how you open each chapter with the courtroom scene - very original as far as I'm concerned. It's as though there are two stories going on at once, the main one, and the underlying courtroom one that the reader is dying to get to the bottom of! ;-) And a witch? Super! Very well written and I wish you all the best getting to the ed's desk!!
Grace xx

Rosalind Barden wrote 907 days ago

Hi Traci,

This reads like a best seller! Immediately likeable characters. Like that there's a witch here! I've only had time for a quick look, but I love it so far. This is a good read!
Rosalind Barden
American Witch

Madison C. Woods wrote 907 days ago

Traci, I think I've already backed before, but backing again just in case!

Madison Woods - Retribution

kwestion wrote 908 days ago

This is really good. I love the dual layout, with the ominous little parts in the courtroom and then the slow build of what really happened, it builds the suspense nicely. I also love Cat, she's really easy to relate to and you keep the whole story very nicely in the here and now with the whole Internet thing without it ever taking over the story.

Nice work! I'm putting it on my shelf right now.
Good Luck with the editors!

Kerstin

MythicWriting wrote 908 days ago

Your first chapter pulls at the heart and mind. Bittersweet and well-written, between the case and the emails, there's barely a place that isn't well-developed. Great going, and congrats on the editor's desk!

H.Hunt
The Devil's Wife

Splinker wrote 908 days ago

Nicely written. I had a bit of a hard time imagining the fear of not having internet and not figuring out a work around, but that might be me. Also in the italics part in the beginning, I think you should consider getting rid of the sentence that starts wtih "Anger radiated..." I found that it interrupted the tense/flow of the conversation.

Shelved for good writing and faith that the story will develop nicely. Will read more later :)

Harold2 wrote 909 days ago

top 5 - nice one!

RavenClark wrote 909 days ago

Traci,

Ok, now that I have looked at this again, I KNOW I left a comment here. Darn this site. Anyway, maybe it's a blessing in disguise. I read the first chapter again and there are more things to say this time.

The court scene at the begining is a perfect way to hook in the reader. You had me at the first line, "State your name for the record." So many possibilities. The end of it, those quirky erotic email addresses were just icing on the cake that made me howl. Just an odd thing I thought would make it sound even snappier. Put DoMeUpTheButt dot com. Ok, you don't have to do that. i'm just wierd.

I also love the way you describe things. In particular, the way the Angel and the Devil popped onto her shoulder and began thier debate, and then the dialogue between the two entities. That was great. I find Catherine to be a likable, but somehow lonely character, and my heart went out to her for what her ex had done. I worried over what sort of tragedy you have in mind between she and Sharon, how they end up at odds. This was a great read so far and I will be back to read more. I love your writing style. I already shelved you before, and nothing had changed since i reread. Your still happily backed.

-Raven
The Shadowsword Saga

Haley Brite wrote 909 days ago

Hi Tracy.

Jane Alexander insisted that I'd read your book before hers.
I'm glad she recommended you because....

I LOVE IT! L,O,V,E!
You had me at DoMeUpTheButt!! I laughed outloud and then had to explain why to my husband. He's still looking at me funny!
Seriously wonderful and funny story. I loved the bitter sweet first chapter. I felt that they were real and I felt for them. Very well written and has me begging for more.
You MC is such an easy person to love and I instantly fell for her. The fact that she, like me, has the devil and an angel on her shoulders has nothing to do with it.
I would buy this book for myself, my sister, my mother, my aunt and my mother-inlaw!!
I'm backing this with pleasure!

Haley Brite - Hart

Mary McGuire wrote 909 days ago

Fine stuff, loved the humorous prologue - did the hooking, no problem but the passwords made me laugh... a lot.

I liked the easy relationship between Jack and Cat... but at the same time you depict the limbo of post relationship very well.

Backed.

Cheers

Mary Mc
Few are Chosen - comic fantasy

Esrevinu wrote 910 days ago

Great plot, rock solid conflict, from start to finish, your characters reek of weakness, imperfections, quirks and vices--I love it--great novel.

Sue Cornfield wrote 910 days ago

I can see why this is top 5. Excellent story developing here and I'll have to come back to read more. Your characters are believable and the dialogue is good. I've really enjoyed reading this so far and will read more soon.
Sue
Theo the Immaculate

SareyFairy wrote 911 days ago

Hi Traci.
I was advised to read this book by another Authonomy member and I am so pleased I took her advice.
The story is excellent with the courtroom dialogue at the start of each chapter like a juicy bit if gossip, before going back and telling the story through Cat. I am so caught up in the story and the characters, your book is well deserved to be in the top five.
Sarah. T-cup and The Dream Team Fairies

Binky Myers wrote 911 days ago

Tangled web
Oh my word!..they say that truth is stranger than fiction...I could see how easily this might happen.
Gripping stuff and so well constructed. A story populated with believable characters and realistic dialogue.
On my shelf.
Dawn : ARK

AlanMarling wrote 911 days ago

Dear Traci York,

Thank you for sharing your story with us. Your greatest strength lies in your premise and your tension-charged relationships, your banter and your independence of “I said.” Properly speaking, those are “strengths.”

In my fallible opinion, you could make your story even better by adding a hard return after “Friend” in the intro because you follow it with a line about anger emanating from someone other than the speaker. After that, you could hard return another line for “I cleared my throat…” And, yes, your intro hooks me in like a cane around my neck. Bravo!

Best wishes,
Alan Marling
Ghost Warrior, the Stealing

Fish*sLove wrote 911 days ago

Wow, this is GREAT! The dialogue is real, you give enough detail for me to form my own ideas of things, and man all mighty! It's awesome.

Backing!

Stay on the ED!!!

Claire
Demiurge

kristinnb wrote 911 days ago

So yeah, I backed you a day or two ago, but I hadn't commented yet, so I figure now is better than never. I am enjoying your characters, the dialogue is great, I'm loving the story - fantastic job.

I can see why you are in the top five. Good luck!

Kristin

ccpup wrote 911 days ago

I'm very impressed with what I read. Your writing is tight, smooth, the story and your characters effortlessly unfolding paragraph by paragraph. I can see why this is doing as well as it is. So, yeah, of course I'll give it a spin on my shelf! :-)

Jonathan
MARTUK ... THE HOLY

ScoRho wrote 911 days ago

Cyber nuts, nicely drawn characters getting themselves getting themselves caught in unusual situationsa, and a story rich in dialogue--what's not to like?

Harclubs wrote 912 days ago

The prologue is, in no uncertain terms, magnificent. In the first chapter, you have captured the very essence of geekness while reminding everyone that geeks are human too. Provided we have our network up, there is time for other things such as food, drink and human companionship. I love it!
Harclubs

Evel Knievel wrote 912 days ago

Hi Traci,
I found your book thrilling and exciting right from the start! I have read the first few chapters and put you on my shelf.
Best wishes and Good luck!
Eva
Here Comes the Summer

thrlamnila wrote 912 days ago

Hello,

I was wondering if you would check out my collection of short stories, if you have the time. I would appreciate your insight.

May This Letter Find You Well,

Tommy

The Griot wrote 912 days ago

Love it. The story flowed very well, even the dialogue in the court room is not over stated. Good Luck I see you are up there in ranking. Hope to see your book being picked up soon.

DurbanSun wrote 913 days ago

Good book. It flows very nicely and i love how current it is. In this internet world I think everyone can relate to connecting to a network, or being deprived of internet, etc. It seems more like "real-life" fiction. Its very believable at least in the first 2 chapters that I have read. To be honest I'm not really into this genre, but I think you've done a great job and this is definitely a book that I can see will have a large audience. Best of luck with the Editorial Board. Backed.
regards
Kiran
(Squash Diary)

Chris 1 wrote 913 days ago

Just read 'Tangled Web'. I'm getting tangled up in it too. It's great to be reminded just how easy it is to get 'tangled up' in other people's lives without realising it. This is great comedy and has brilliant insight into different sides to your characters. Hell really is other people. This is going on my shelf in a couple of days, you bet1 Chris1

Duncan MacMaster wrote 914 days ago

Believable characters, realistic dialogue, to nicely ground the beginnings of a "too crazy to be completely fictional" story.

tlst wrote 914 days ago

Traci, I really enjoyed this and if it were a published book it would be one I would read. Your characters are believable and sympathetic, your dialogue realistic and you have an easy writing style. Backed! Tania, This Last Summer

Ruth Francisco wrote 914 days ago

What rollicking good fun! You hooked me with your opening courtroom scene, and I hate courtroom scenes. As someone who grew up in New Hampshire, I can tell you a lot goes down in those Puritanical church-at-the-head-of-the-square towns. If I were your publicist I would call you a modern Jane Austin with a wicked sense of humor. Best of luck with this, Ruth (Amsterdam 2012)

NA Randall wrote 914 days ago

Traci,

'Tangled Web' was recommended to me by Jane Alexander. It took me a few days to get around to it - and I'm glad I did. This is an excellent opening. Your first paragraph is a great hook, which runs nicely into the second chapter. You give just enough to the reader to make them want to read on and on - something I'm sure will catch the eye of any agent or publisher.

More than happy to back this.

NA - 'A Red Sky in Morning' & 'A Passageway with No Exit'

XoADreadnought wrote 915 days ago

I read through the first few chapters and found no errors whatsoever. When I got to chapter 5, I had a few nitpicks. Avoid the dashes whenever possible. In my opinion, those could be periods and still be read just as quickly. That may just be my opinion.

“Although, you know what they say about the truth setting you free.” –needs a comma. (Chapter 6)

And that is all I could find wrong in the story… WOW. Well written. This is ready to be published, not just grammatically but in the story itself. Excellent devices used to progress the story. The opening of every chapter, set in the courthouse is an excellent and fairly unique device. It is refreshing the way you have written this. Backed happily!

FJ Watson wrote 915 days ago

Really well done. Easy to read. Why is the first part in italics?
I love the way the in the first chapter the main characters still show love. Breaking up is hard to do, but porn gets in the way and can ruin a relationship.

Raymond Nickford wrote 915 days ago

Traci,

Tangled Web is one of those books where the synopsis so well condenses and encapsulates the storyline. It's clear, concise and, I believe, the best precis you could make of 108,000 words. More importantly, a prior reading of the synopsis lends immediate significance to your italicised opening in Chapter 1.
Combined, they allow the bookshop or online browser to get the bearings they want, hook and hold into your narrative.
The opening italics gave me the perspective I needed and 'DoMeUpTheButt' almost caught me in an involuntary reflex to ensure my shirt was securely tucked in! Not wanting to labour the metaphor, you certainly riveted me to my seat - and that, even before the action of your first scene.
The dialogue which ensues is crisp and you deftly interweave snippets of narrative to condense backstory and advance ongoing story simultaneously, the whole achieving immediacy and maintaining pace.
Nostalgic memories of Catherine's now wrecked relationship hurt.
The focus on the computer and shared networks yields fruit when, by the end of your first chapter, there is a clear enough hint that Catherine is going to be able - if not willing - to do some internet 'eavesdropping' and this is going to complicate lives.
This is neatly confirmed in your second chapter which builds with impact the world of 'piggybacking'.
Remembering your synopsis, I have to read on. Shelved.
Ray
(A Child from the Wishing Well)

FrodeJ wrote 916 days ago

hey Traci!
I've backed your book. I promised Jane Alexander I would check it out right away, but I really haven't had the time to read enough of it to leave a comment yet. What I have read so far does however look very good.
Just got in and I'm off again in an hour. I really hope I'll have a bit more time on my hands next week. Promise to get back to you!
Cheers
Frode

Niobrara Kardnova wrote 917 days ago

Great story--not sure where the facts leave off and the fiction starts, but wherever that is, you make the shift seamlessly. I like the courtroom testimony to kick off each chapter, and the internet information is interesting too--kind of scary, really. I wasn't aware all of this was out there online or off. Cat is a great character and you have to root for her to get back together with Jack. Can't suggest any improvements--shelved.
Niobrara Kardnova (The Trouble with Wives)

neal wrote 918 days ago

I read this book sometime ago and it slipped my mind to offer any criticism. I do apologise. But it was a bewitching tale, and, I may say, throughly deserving of being on the editors desk.


Neal

John Brassey wrote 918 days ago

With 570 comments already I think I've arrived too late to make a meaningful comment. It's good and I'm happy to back it.
I look forward to reading the HC review
John