When We're Least Expecting It

Read the first three chapters and really enjoyed them. I love to travel and was instantly intrigued by your way of taking the reader on Barbara's journey.
Not quite sure what to make of Mehmet. somehow I get the felling he isn't all that meets the eye.
I will definitely read more when I have some extra time.
Highly stared and remains on my WL.
Best of luck;
Elke
'Ella In Between'

Dear Dee

I have read the first five chapters of "When We're Least Expecting It" and was going to read more before leaving a comment - it is that kind of book! - but decided I could always leave another! This read is so quietly atmospheric, that, almost without realising, I get pulled into reading it. Your tale is beguiling, full of authenticity and, for some reason that I cannot put my finger on, a lingering feeling of threat or doom. Everything is slightly at odds. I cannot wait to read more.

Plot aside, your writing is competent and relaxing to read. You seem to take story telling very much in your stride. I have enjoyed what I have read so far, and shall continue as soon as I can. Meantime, highly rated.

All the best

Fran :-))

Hi Dee, I was drawn to your book as I have visited Istanbul and loved it! Your book bought back the atmospheric feel of the beautiful city. I was shocked to learn about Memehets other life as i'm sure Barbara was!!
I have read four chapters glued wanting to know what was going to happen to Barbara - so i will be back for more.
I have a scene in my book where my daughter and I visit the city and experience a Turkish bath, I wonder if this is in your book too?
All the best Karamak Faking it in France

Hello Dee
I have just started to read your book, 4 chapters to be precise and then I had a look at some of the comments. I do agree that in order to be able to feel for and care about a character the reader needs to know their thoughts, feelings and experiences and this should be portrayed along with dialogue, It is my opinion that you have struck a good balance and the sections where we learn about Barbara's life brings substance to the character. In order to achieve a sense of the ambience and landscape descriptive narratives of the places, smells, scenes, light, landscape and people enhance and bring to life the settings of a story and once again you do attempt to expand on these elements although I personnaly would have liked a little more of this. I feel that an element of auto biographical writing can enhance a scene, descriptive or dialogue and enrich a story line as long as the balance is right. But thats just me.
Anyway, a great subject matter and travel too, sounds like a winner. I will continue to read. It sits proudly on my bookshelf.
If you have the time you may like to have a look at 'The Homecoming' it is my first novel also.
Kind Regards
Dougie

Hi Dee,
I've read up to the end of what you've posted and it's still very engaging. I'd generally echo what Joe has said - it speeds along with lots of dialogue, which I love, but perhaps sometimes you could afford to slow down and vary the pace a little by adding more detail. Mainly though, it does the job beautifully. Is the musical Irishman home and dry or will Mehmet make a late comeback? Do tell.
Lucy x

Hi Dee, I just read your last 4 posted chapters - from the news of Mehmet's baby to Gul's death and on to Barbara's reconnection with Sean. It's great stuff, fairly charges along, and I really don't have much to criticise. Your obvious strength is your dialogue, which is very strong and highly believable. If I have one quibble, however it is that there is sometimes TOO much dialogue - it might be a good idea to intersperse it with more 'thought and feeling'. For example, the first half of chap 28 is nearly ALL dialogue, and (apart from the first line) I had no real sense of Barbara's emotion. How about putting just one sentence after 'just the accident' - something like: Sean knew that tone in her voice. She was near hysterical. He chose his next words carefully. And again, after 'Who told you it's not?',...Patience, thought Sean, don't rattle her cage. (*all but 'thought Sean' in italics).

That one nit aside, a hugely enjoyable read. You'll be on my shelf shortly.

♥ Joe x

I think you write well. Not my kind of book but told convincingly and the descriptive prose is good.
Where she brushes her teeth you say '-always makes one feel better'. That's 'author intrusion'. You speak directly to the reader and it's an absolute no, no.
I think also you could explore her feelings in greater depth, by showing how she feels in the thick, hot atmosphere of Istanbul. The wall of heat as you step off the aircraft, the slow evolution of sweat, trickling down her back and the smell of bodies and heat in the atmosphere. - just a thought.
The story has shades of 'Shirley valentine' and the spark between a Turk and a foreign lass might to some seem a bit cliched. I haven't read enough to say whether that is so or not, but few people picking this up in a book shop would think much else.
It is an attractive theme and popular too so maybe I'm wrong on that.
Over all this is a competently written bit of writing and I wish you well with it.
Backed (for a while).

Many thanks for the comments. The problem I have with some of the suggestions is that this, my first novel, is extremely auto-biographical in some places - usually those places in which commentators have suggested changes! All I can say is that (re the divorce etc) this is how it was for me, at that time! (I often wonder if having 'sailed through' two divorces that my reactions were unusual?!
Many thanks for good wishes,
Dee

It took me a little while to get into the story but, after a couple of chapters, I was being drawn in and sneaking quick reads between jobs. I'm certainly looking forward to reading the rest and must know what happens to Barbara, Mehmet and Sean.

But, like previous posters, I think there should be more examination of Barbara's emotions during the more traumatic of her life's events. However unhappy a marriage is, the ending of it IS a big deal and I think there would be aspects of the divorce that would bring many more mixed feelings in any situation yet Barabara has taken this in her stride ... lawyers, paperwork and the turmoil involved could have lent itself to futher insight into her character. I would also have liked to understand the change in Barbara's emotions when she learns of the pregnancy (trying not to give too much away to those who haven't read it all yet).

I've enjoyed the dialogue which is realistic; not overpowering or stilted but how real, normal people talk in everyday life when they're put in the spot. And I love the way you've kept it in the 90s (with relevant world politics) when there could be so much temptation to sneak in some technology which just was not around at the time.

Enjoying it immensely and I wish you every success with this novel.

Hi Dee,
I've read on up to Ch 13 and it's all still very enjoyable. Just a couple of thoughts to offer in case they're of use. You seem to be relying a little more on summary, particularly once the action returns to Oxford. Could you pick out some of the more important moments and expand them into longer scenes? Gareth announcing that he wants to separate, for example, or perhaps some of the conversations with Rosalind and Mags, who are great characters. I'll continue reading when I can. I definitely want to know how it turns out!
Lucy

Dee, this is in my opinion, and you must remember that.

I read chapter two and realised that you don't need it, it didn't advance the story at all. Far too much backstory. The ONLY important point in that chapter is that we discover Gareth is ill, which you tell us when Barbara talks to the English women in chapter three, when you mention "dialysis". That one word tells it all. The rest of chapter two is just words on a page, and they do nothing good for your story. My suggestion would be to get rid of the whole of that chapter.

A couple of things I spotted in chapter three:

"Yes, he is very nice friend, very kind person." This piece of dialogue should be on a line of its own.
Half way through this chapter you change speech marks, from (') to (").

Hope that helps,
Mark.

A very easy to read first chapter, Dee. Nothing shot out at me as overly or underdone. I saw no typos and your punctuation looked to be perfect, which helped keep the flow of the story as I read.

Moving to chapter two.

Mark.

very good book, with excellent narrative style and dialogue. original story, and setting. you make it easy for me to back your book...
read SEASONS...

I've wanted to go to Istanbul for ages, and now even more so!
Your writing is calm and confident with an easy flow to it. I like how believable the dialogue is - no small task - well done.
I've only read the beginning, but can see the story will be told with cheekiness and charm.
I'll be coming back for more, and finding room on my shelf soon.

Good luck!
Diana
Pascual's Birthday

Hi Dee, Great stuff! There is a real feeling of Turkey here with a lot I recognise about the country in the 90s. I liked the way you use Turkish language – it made me think I should include some more myself. Mehmet is a really convincing character with his distinctive charm, attitudes and way of speaking. I enjoyed the way you develop his and Barbara’s relationship. Best wishes, Lucy

Thanks so much for your comments & for the suggestions. Atila is the Turkish spelling of the name.
He is introduced at the start as M's cousin who is driving the taxi. Best wishes
Dee

Good stuff, Dee. Highly starred and on my watchlist for further reading.

The prose feels very polished with an appealing quirkiness to much of the phrasing/imagery. I really like the way you sometimes use abridged, almost blunt phrasing to set the scene (eg when B sees her room). It lends the novel an immediate, almost filmic feel.

The dialogue is particularly good. I think it’s so hard to represent the words of a foreigner attempting English without it drifting into pastiche but you handle this effortlessly. Very impressive. Subtle but convincing sense of time and place. Well-structured chapters with understated but intriguing hooks to make the reader want to read on. The plot (as far as I can tell from your blurb and opening chapters) feels well thought out and multi-layered with plenty of scope for drama, romance, pathos, escapism etc.

In short, a very stylish, involving read. Thanks and best of luck. A


I made some notes on the opening chapter as I went along. Please feel free to ignore!!

I’d definitely try and find a way of getting rid of the translation. As a reader, it immediately takes me out of the moment, undermining the persuasiveness of the opening scene. Maybe have Barbara respond to the greeting sooner and incorporate something in her response that explains what Mehmet said??

‘idly in one hand’ – reads like the taxi drivers are sharing one hand??

‘laughing; spitting’ or ‘They laughed, spat.’

Twelve not 12

months not months’ [no need for apostrophe]

I really like the conversational, almost chatty prose. Tallies with the tight, focussed POV.

Very natural, involving dialogue.

‘In the cab…etc’ – this is an incomplete sentence?? maybe rephrase??

Who’s Atila? Maybe introduce him earlier?? (also, isn’t it ‘Attila’??)

I quite like the way you highlight certain words (eg ‘relationship’, ‘disconnection’ etc) to allow the reader an immediate snapshot of B’s mindset, but I think you may be overdoing it slightly?? Also, maybe think about using italics instead of quotation marks??

I like the way you phrase Mehmet’s dialogue. It gives the impression of a foreigner struggling with English without drifting into a pastiche. Clever stuff.

Good cultural detail. Just enough to convey a sense of place without intruding on the narrative.

‘It’s nearly 2am’ – this surprised me. Unless I missed something, there’s no indication of it being the middle of the night when B arrives at the airport, takes a taxi into town etc??

‘I feel awkward, now’ – doesn’t feel right??

‘…over there [full-stop not comma]’ He indicated… [only use a comma if the ‘action’ interrupts a single sentence of dialogue]

delete ‘inset’??

‘took B’s breath away’ – cliché??

I like the fragmented, abridged way you describe the room. Very evocative.

‘in the dawn’ – it’s not dawn, is it?? isn’t it 2am??

‘for very long time stirred Barbara within her’ - this doesn’t feel right?? Maybe ‘for a very long time stirred within B’??

WHEN WE’RE LEAST EXPECTING IT
I like stories that take me away to a part of the world where I will probably never visit – so I liked this a lot as it whisked me away to Istanbul. Barbara is instantly likable because she’s exploring if she can revive an old relationship. I like the way you weave descriptions of the setting into the story in small segments rather than all at once. Keeps your story moving forward while still getting in all the info your reader needs. I’m adding this to my shelf. Wanttobeawriter: Who Killed the President?

Thanks so much - I will be adding the rest of the book once the pantomime I'm in ends on Saturday! Best wishes, Dee

You put a lot of detail in your plot and I loved how you did that! I can't wait to read more of your book. I rated five stars.
Thanks,
Scott

On completion of the first chapter I have to say I like your writing and the premise of the novel very much. I want to read into the second chapter (can't now because it is after my bedtime...) and wanting to read more is, of course, what you want from your readers. Only two comments. First, the punctuation where she is wondering how to classify her 'relationship' is a little heavy and confusing. Second, I wasn't prepared for the passion she felt when he kissed her. I was hung up (as she apparently was) with his poor English and that was my main impression. So when he kissed her and she felt passionate about it there was a feeling it was too abrupt a transition. I'll be watch listing this book and dipping into it further when I have a chance.

If you can, please return read a chapter or two of my novel Sage Courage? Thanks!

Heather.

Just finished all 8 (so far) chapters and really enjoyed them. The characters build very well without it ever feeling forced and come to life gradually as they do in real life. A pet hate is authors who introduce characters fully formed as if that is how life works!
You obviously write from experience about Istanbul and show a heart warming awareness of the political and social situation there without ever becoming preachy about it.
The sex scene in the last chapter was handled very well, always a sign of a great writer I think.
I really look forward to reading more of this very promising work.

Thank you so much for your comment.

Just finished chapter 3. The mark of a good book to me is one that can keep my interest. I won't keep ploughing on just in case it gets good. It has to have an instant intrigue. I can say that I am interested in the characters and want to read on. Also I am finding the author's obvious knowledge of Istanbul and the surrounding area gives an insight to the reader without bogging them down in detail. Well done

Hello,
Have just read the first two chapters of your book and am throughly enjoying it! I am having to force myself off the sofa and do what what I need to do, but I really want to carry on reading - so the rest will have to wait until later. Can't wait!!
Jomac

Hi Dee, just got into your book, really enjoying it! You know, in all my travels, the one place I've not been to is Turkey - so I'm learning something new here. I read your first two and then the last chapter, and have to say, you certainly can write. And very entertainingly so too, with fantastic use of local dialogue. My fave line so far? No contest: "It is van cat. Turkish van. Special cat to Turkey.' LOL! I've heard (from my wife) that the Turks love their cats - she once saw one sitting on a cushion on the altar of the Grand Mosque.

Mehmet sounds lovely, Barbara's hubby, a right twat. I wanted to stick his remote control where the sun don't shine, but we guys do have a thing about remote controls, don't we? 'Barbara' herself is a funny, independent, kinda quirky girl whom I'm guessing is not worlds away from yourself? Which brings me to my one tiny nit concerning your book. From the very start, I thought 'This would work better as a straight 'I' person travelogue - why is it in the 3rd person?' You excel, mainly through dialogue, in giving us 'your' personal experience of the country and its people - why not make it 'you'?

The quality of writing is superb throughout - six stars for genuine promise.

Joe Kovacs
Rupee Millionaires

(I LOVED 'they all want to be a mother with him'! Though my eye did stick in just two places. First, following 'It's just fine', she said, it might read better to follow with (in italics, cos this is thought, not speech) Actually, she thought, it's far better than 'just fine' as he's offered to pay for it! Second, in the next para, you don't imvho need 'He asked her.' Good luck, Dee!)

What a romantic setting, you capture the country well. I have enjoyed what I have read so far.

Veronica
Evergreen

I read this book as it was being written and to be honest I was waiting immediately for the next chapter as soon as I had finished the last!!! If I had had the whole thing in my hand I would have read it in one go!

It is about people and relationships and of course my favourite country, Turkey, and the place I grew up, Oxford. It is easy to read and compelling!

This book has to be published! I can't wait for the next!

I loved reading this for the absorbing story line and sensitively written themes on love and separation.
I like the way it is written, in a style accessible, but conveying complex emotions. It is also an uplifting read. A must.

Christina