The Lost Wink

Dear Tod

Thanks so much for inviting me to take another look at "The Lost Wink". I read the first three chapters again...and I am very glad I did! What wonderful, inventive story-telling, which you have worked very hard to make easy to read and age appropriate. I find it easier to read, too, and am happy to just relax and enjoy. The strands of your tale fit snugly together, and the result is a comfortable, witty and funny fairy story.

I like the spin of magical unreality around the story, the "blackberry brambles" and the "crispus delispus" apples.

You have produced a modern fairy tale that is perfectly pitched. Clever without being too smart, and brightly colourful. We can all enjoy it and gain something different from it. As we say around here, "Tis brillig!"

All the best, Tod. Top rating now.

Fran :-))

This is brilliant- inventive, humorous, and perfectly suited to children. The character names are fantastic- Frederick the Flimsy being a personal favourite- and the characterisation is great. I love the storyline, and the plot races along, without a word wasted. I didn't see any stylistic errors, either.
Good luck to you too, and I hope this goes well- I'll be rating this highly!

I love this. What more can I say. It's hilarious - Fredrick the Flimsy and the whole lady bug conversation just made me giggle all the time. It doesn't flag at all then but heads off into several new plot directions with hidden bodies etc. I'm glad the nose came in handy. Love the idea that he has to milk the poor cow before he goes and feels so responsible for all his hen friends. Now we are in the forest and I am looking forward to reading more. I'd love this for my grandson when he gets a bit older,but mainly for me. Six stars and I will back but it might be a week or two as my book shelf is a mess.

Haha delightful!
As a Lloyd Alexander fan (lukas kasha is in my all time top five favorites) I can safely say that thank goodness someone else is moving into the genre. Backed. Starred. Awesome.

I love this. I've been sitting here reading with a smile on my face. I love Roscoe as a character. He's so sweet and ... literal. It's impressive how everything is so perfectly filtered through his eyes,Iike the princess's eyes being shiny and green as two wet frogs. I think kids must love this for its humor, sympathetic characters, adventure, and fable-like elements; I know I did. Great job! When I'm at a proper computer, I'll back it!

Hi Tod,
What fun and not just for kids! You have a pleasant, easy going style that keeps the reader interested. The whole scene with the royal pompous search for the wink just sets the tone for humor and wanting more. I love the choice of names for the characters It is easy to identify with Roscoe and his kind heartedness in contrast to the mean Mortimer, thus drawing the reader to continue in hopes for good vs. evil. It reminded me of my child hood readings of Fractured Fairy tales! Nice job, quite enjoyable. Six stars and on my list for shelf...
Mary ann
Agent H

What a charming tale - beautifully written with wonderfully descriptive passages and dialogue. I'm sure this will find its way onto many children's bookshelves.

Nice! I love it! Enthusiastically backed!!

Dear Tod

Thanks so much for inviting me to take another look at "The Lost Wink". I read the first three chapters again...and I am very glad I did! What wonderful, inventive story-telling, which you have worked very hard to make easy to read and age appropriate. I find it easier to read, too, and am happy to just relax and enjoy. The strands of your tale fit snugly together, and the result is a comfortable, witty and funny fairy story.

I like the spin of magical unreality around the story, the "blackberry brambles" and the "crispus delispus" apples.

You have produced a modern fairy tale that is perfectly pitched. Clever without being too smart, and brightly colourful. We can all enjoy it and gain something different from it. As we say around here, "Tis brillig!"

All the best, Tod. Top rating now.

Fran :-))

CHIRG Review
This is wonderful. You have a sparklingly funny voice and I was captivated by the fairytale style.
The title is brilliant and I don’t know how anyone could resist your short pitch – long pitch is great to. I could do with your help with mine!
In Chapter One the only thing I thought sounded a bit off was Blackberry brambles. I think just brambles would do.
Chapter Two
You really get into your stride here. This is so original and funny. I love ‘it’s a nose not a perch’
I also loved ‘for a beak-over-chicken feet flapping loop’ (perhaps ‘into’ would make it clearer than ‘for’ though)
You say he has been pecking around for a decade but it is five years later.
Chapter Three
Brilliant
I loved ‘her eyes were as green and sparkly as frogs in a pond
‘knowing they were pleased’ – perhaps you could describe how he knows they are pleased.
The end of this chapter is so funny. ‘You’re saying she’s a lady bug made me laugh out loud.
I have given this six stars and it will remain on my bookshelf. I’ll be backing this next month for sure!

interesting idea from the start- good flowing narrative....and dialogue...
backed...
read SEASONS...

YARG
Tod,
Thanks for your YARG on The Alienating Ambassador. Here's my return for The Lost Wink:
First off, it's delightful and I'm thoroughly enjoying it (currently up to Chapter 8). The pacing is break-neck, characters charming and the descriptions are vivid. Here are my meager offerings for improvement:
C1
• Why would a boy be pecking for grubs? Did he eat them because Mortimer didn't feed him?
• Can Ella read minds? This is implied but not stated. If not, Roscoe needs to say out loud that he would have liked to have been a baker.
C2
• "In order to bake apples" could be simplified "To bake apples"
C7
• Would an owl really attack a person? Seems like an odd animal for Roscoe to worry about.


That's all I got,
Melissa

{The Lost Wink} – Tod Schneider

This is an entertaining piece of children’s fantasy, with a fast-moving plot and likeable characters. I enjoyed the at times slightly humorous prose, and some nice, original ways of describing things – ‘chilliness of the night had inspired her to cuddle’ (C1)… ‘While he was round like a pumpkin, she was skinny like a string bean’ (C2)… ‘The alewife was a horse-faced woman with large teeth, rubbery lips and flaxen hair.’ (C3).

Sometimes, careful of repeating the same word in close vicinity; e.g. ‘I suggested apples, because that’s what we had…’ ‘With honey and cream’, she suggested (chapter 1)… ‘No dreaming?’ I suggested … ‘Perhaps not?’ I suggested, hopefully.

In chapter 1 ‘I had awakened in time to remember it’ → I’d keep it simpler and say ‘I had woken’ to better suit the children’s style prose.

I’d also suggest using the ‘find’ tool to highlight all the times you say ‘was’ – sometimes there are places you could cut back on passive voice to remove repetition of ‘was’ and increase tempo/or, show more rather than tell. E.g. in chapter 2, there is a high density of ‘was’ in three paras, beginning ‘Despite the fact that one of my eyes was squinty from the bug…’ Some rewording could include ‘Despite the bug making my eyes squint, … It made me glad to see at least someone looked happy… ‘something was terribly wrong’ → could be shown more/etc. However not too hard to fix – and you do ‘show’ well at other times, .e.g in chapter 3 ‘Now her face relaxed into a delighted grin and her voice calmed considerably’ – excellent.

Anyway, looking forward to continuing, high stars and thanks for the enjoyable read :) Thanks again for your comment on ‘Dawn of Destruction’, very useful I’ve made a few edits already! :)
Cara

YARG Review: I've always wondered about your unusual cover, with the beak like nose of your character, so I thought I'd have a read of your book. I read three chapters and I think this is a lovely tale, very much like one of the old fairy tales, but with its own original slant, and that slant being Roscoe's most unusual nose. I liked his description and introduction in chapter 1 with how he came about to live with the horrible Mortimer, as well as his living arrangements in the chicken coop and his best friend back then being a chicken. Then on with chapter two and his apple enterprise that eventually brought the King and Princess Maisie. I liked the scene with the wink the most. It was clever, delightful and had a good sense of humour. Maisie is a wonderful character (as is Roscoe). She really stood out here with the clever way in which she orchestrated finding her first wink, and in doing so saving Roscoe. She got both a wink and a blink ;)

I couldn't find anything to criticise in these chapters. I didn't notice any typos and the story progressed at a nice pace. The chapter lengths were just right, and had no boring bits. Due to time constraints I usually only read 1 chapter, but I liked your story, which made me read on.

Conclusion: One of the more original pieces of child literature on Authonomy (and elsewhere), and a delight to read. All the best, Marita.

Tod, this is delightful! It's funny and cute, but at the same I feel sorry for poor Roscoe (but the mood is so light-hearted that it isn't really distressing) and I don't like Mortimer (but again, it's not too awful), and I love the chicken talk and other animals. How charming! I can't wait to read more!

Elizabeth (The made-Up Man)

Tod,

This is lovely and funny. I love this style of writing for children. It's an escape and a great fairytale. Poor Roscoe, I have already fallen for him and care what happens to him.

I love the humour and the names. Frederick the Flimsy was my favourite. This has a real cartoon quality. I think younger children will really love it. I could imagine great illustrations going with this.

You have a strong voice and it works so well.

One teensy weensy thing that as a teacher of children, I would perhaps edit....in Chapter 1 when you say about Elly sitting on Roscoe's face...I might think about re-phrasing that...some of the boys that I know would fall off their chairs laughing at that and maybe for the wrong reasons.

I couldn't see any mistakes. It looks like you are doing well and deservedly so.

No room on my shelf today but highly rated and will shelve when I have a space.

Tracey The Crossings

This is such a fine kid's book. I'm going to read all of your stuff.

great storyline and cleverly told...
j

Tod,

Innocent, whimsical, hopeful, creative. What a wonderfully delightful message your story carries - when one dares to dream… Oh, the surprises, the adventures, the prizes to pursue and discover. Tod, you have written a fairy-tale with all the essential ingredients: a beloved down and outer, an evil abuser, meek and lowly sympathizers, a prize to achieve, a beautiful princess and a surprising and happy ending! And it’s all delivered with amazing imagination, remarkable wit, and God-given talent. Six stars.

Dianna Lanser
Nothing But The Blood

This is good fun, Tod. My brother writes comic children’s adventure novels for Macmillan and, from what he tells me, it’s definitely the comic elements of his novels which seem to appeal most strongly to his readers. I’m sure, therefore, younger readers (this feels much more suited to 8-12 year-olds rather than teens??) will love all the crazy characters and ‘silliness’ that lies at the heart of your novel.

The prose feels energetic and there are some wonderfully inventive comic lines and physical comedy to keep a smile on the reader’s face. The writing does, however, feel slightly indisciplined at times and, particularly in the opening chapter, I think the narrative would have a more seamless, involving feel if you worked slightly on your sequencing of information so the reader remains intrigued but never confused. Just a thought.

Roscoe comes across as an extremely likeable, kind-hearted, resourceful individual, someone the reader can quickly identify with and root for. The subsidiary characters feel three-dimensional and distinct and work well as an ensemble.

Clear and purposeful dialogue. Subtle but convincing sense of ‘time’ and ‘place’. The plot certainly sounds original and interesting, although, if I’m honest, I’m not sure I quite understand the whole ‘searching for a lost wink’ idea??

In short, a very stylish, original, funny read which I’m sure will appeal to younger readers.

Highly starred. Thanks and best of luck. P


I made some notes on the opening chapter as I went along. Feel free to ignore!!

‘knocked for a loop’ – given the vaguely medieval setting, period-feel dialogue etc this very modern phrase feels a bit odd?? Ditto ‘honker,’ ‘I guess,’ ‘got on my nerves,’ ‘got a handle on’ etc

‘but I wasn’t very’ – feels a bit clunky??

‘when he was in the mood’ – in the mood for what??

‘I rarely dared dream at all’ – why not?? don’t really understand this??

Ella asking ‘why not?’ doesn’t seem to follow Roscoe explaining how much he’d like to be a baker??

It’s not easy to follow the whole timeline of Roscoe’s life – when and how exactly did his mother die?? how soon after she died was Roscoe moved to the coop?? what was the relation between Mortimer and Roscoe's mother?? etc. The info is all there, it’s just, particularly for younger readers, I imagine, it’s quite hard to follow.

The text seems to be a bit ‘light’ on commas. eg ‘When he first acquired me [comma]’ ‘In fact [comma]’ An easy fix, tho.

Even for a children’s book ‘Forest of Doom’ does sound a bit clichéd??

‘That’s not what I [dash not dots as dialogue interrupted]’ – only use dots if dialogue just trails off.

Again, I’m wondering how his mother died. Maybe insert a little more background detail so the reader feels more rooted in the story??

I like the way you end the chapter, although the idea of baking apples being Roscoe’s salvation does feel like a bit of an anticlimax after the big build up??

Tod,
Captivated by this story. Beautifully written, the universe of Roscoe is marvelous. Can't wait to read more. High stars. Sticking you on my shelf to come back to read more.
Good luck in your writing,
Janet
The Milche Bride
Clarissa's Kitchen

This book is too good Tod. I'll have to find shelf-space soon.

Tod,

This is lovely. Entirely my sort of thing. It's funny, quirky and original.

Some of your descriptions are genius "a cow's length" and the shiny wet frog comparison.

I found the opening a little bit confusing but that might have been because I wasn't expecting the whole boy living with a chicken thing. Once I had it sorted out in my mind, I was good to go!

I didn't notice any typos in the first three chapters, so nothing to distract from a charming YA story.

Highly starred and much enjoyed :)

Lucy

This is brilliant- inventive, humorous, and perfectly suited to children. The character names are fantastic- Frederick the Flimsy being a personal favourite- and the characterisation is great. I love the storyline, and the plot races along, without a word wasted. I didn't see any stylistic errors, either.
Good luck to you too, and I hope this goes well- I'll be rating this highly!

Tod,
A fruit fly on a clumsy lad's eye, a blustery king quick to pass judgement, and a fun-loving princess with freckles, and we have the mainstays for a funny, warmhearted story. "The Lost Wink" combining satire with good, old fashioned humour does grab attention and retain it for all the right reasons. Your easy casual narrative punctuated by animated dialogue is easy to follow and appreciate. Thank you so much for the entertainng read.

Kenneth Edward Lim
The North Korean

This is just my type of children's story, well structured and pitched perfectly. Well rated and will reside shortly on the book shelf - Good luck

You write very well, with language that's fun to read. The syntax gets a little complicated at times, which makes me wonder if it would work for younger children. Maybe if read to them.

The start was a bit convoluted, I felt. It isn't really clear where we are or what things look like. You sort of throw a lot of stuff at the reader at once, talking chickens and baking apples and living in a coop. It was hard to get my bearings or the tone. It does get more clear as you read, but it would help to establish things as you go, rather than in hindsight.

I felt you were being a bit arbitrary with where you went into detail and where you skimmed over stuff. It's not until the carriage arrives that you give a detailed description of what something looks like. Up till then it wasn't really clear what anything looks like, how people were dressed, where the oven was built, who bought his wares. You tell us these things but you don't really paint a very clear picture. Then when the carriage arrives you go into hyper-detail.

As the writer I imagine it's all very clear to you how things look, but I think you take it a little for granted that we see what you see, and that we'll wait for explanations later. His mother told him he was born human, but he was taken from her dead side (when? was he a baby? a toddler?) and Mortimer appears as if by magic, with no explanation of why he was in charge of our hero. I'm not saying there's anything wrong with those events, just that the way it's written in a sudden rush of info is hard to digest and follow with no temporal structure to it. it could have all happened on one day, or years apart. You seem to power through it, which makes it quite hard to engage with.

I would suggest referring to his nose as beak and snout is a little confusing. I know they're both terms used for noses, but they're also specific to certain animals and since you literally mean beak it was a bit confusing to suddenly use snout.

I think there's a lot of good stuff here, but the start feels very busy, and could possibly do with a little simplifying, or at least some clarification. Once he started selling apples I thought it flowed very well.

what an enjoyable tale for youth. great characters and well chosen names. good premise and pitch.
j

I love this. What more can I say. It's hilarious - Fredrick the Flimsy and the whole lady bug conversation just made me giggle all the time. It doesn't flag at all then but heads off into several new plot directions with hidden bodies etc. I'm glad the nose came in handy. Love the idea that he has to milk the poor cow before he goes and feels so responsible for all his hen friends. Now we are in the forest and I am looking forward to reading more. I'd love this for my grandson when he gets a bit older,but mainly for me. Six stars and I will back but it might be a week or two as my book shelf is a mess.

Tod, This is a sweet, funny, poignant tale with some delicious lines. Some of my favourites so far: 'It's a nose, not a perch' and 'like a depraved undertaker hoping someone would choke to death' and 'her eyes were as green and sparkly as wet frogs in a pond'.
You might want to take a look at the following sentence in Chapter 2: 'This seemed most impractical, but the crown was a dead giveaway he was a visitor of some consequence'. It looks like some punctuation is missing after 'giveaway'.
High stars, and I look forward to reading more.
David
MASTER ACT: a memoir

Hi Tod,
return reading after your support of Mr Unusually's Circus of Dreams!
I love this, it is inventive, unusual, articulate and amusing.
It has an 'Alice in Wonderland' feeling to it. If you get it published a professional editor may well be a little more ruthless about cutting stuff out, but it's very good as it stands.
Will highly star, and definitely consider backing when I get a space on my shelf.
All the best,
Sharda.

Hi Tod,

This is great. Very well written. There is a touch of almost everything a child would want. Ridiculous humour, likeable characters, engaging descriptions and language, and the timelessness of adventure.

To me it reads like Terry Pratchett but for a younger audience, but having said that I believe any reader no matter what age will feel connected to the characters and the story.

Congratulations on writing this - it's fantastic.

Highly starred!

Cheers,
Adam

I like this set-up very much. If I were a kid, I’d love this. If I were in your target audience, I would, as they say, be grabbed by this pitch, and by the basic ingredients of the story.
In the pitech, the blink – wink sentence perhaps doesn’t need repeating, in both first and second paragraphs.
I’m please our young hero must encounter death-defying feats before he can win hand of young maiden.
The humour is wry yet sweet.
lovely idea and style.
Best wishes
Eileen

A very refreshing read! smart, snappy, humorous. It almost seems like this is the Cinderella story quirkily reversed, and perhaps Nose. Your premise drew me in, and I can tell that you know what you're doing writing it - its style is directly pulled from the writing, and goes with it seamlessly. The chicken opening is great, I don't think I've ever read anything that opened that way. I have a hard time finding fault with it, and it seems like publishable material (I've never dealt with the business of children's books, but I can only assume that it can't be much different). This book is full of clever writing, very nicely done, indeed.

Elena - "Oko"

A funny and engaging read, well structured, narrative flows at a good pace, characters are excellent, you've done a great job!

Best of luck
Jo

I love this. I've been sitting here reading with a smile on my face. I love Roscoe as a character. He's so sweet and ... literal. It's impressive how everything is so perfectly filtered through his eyes,Iike the princess's eyes being shiny and green as two wet frogs. I think kids must love this for its humor, sympathetic characters, adventure, and fable-like elements; I know I did. Great job! When I'm at a proper computer, I'll back it!

Haha delightful!
As a Lloyd Alexander fan (lukas kasha is in my all time top five favorites) I can safely say that thank goodness someone else is moving into the genre. Backed. Starred. Awesome.

Many thanks, Tod, for your compliments on "The Doctor of Summitville" and for calling my attention to "The Lost Wink." I've read your pitch and first chapter. The pitch promises a charming children's book with a fantasy twist--the search for a wink that becomes a cause celebre. This alone shows a keen imagination.

I must say, though, that Chapter 1 puzzled me. If I read it correctly, the main character wakes as a rooster, then wakes again as a human. The two wakings threw me off, and the second one was confounded by Ella as a chicken (?) and then a woman. I'm afraid all this would be confusing to a young audience. But I'm sure it could be clarified. To be fair about it, I'll read on with a view to the broad picture.

Meanwhile, I hope you'll continue with "The Doctor of Summitville" and perhaps back it if you find it publishable. --Best of luck, Bill

'The Lost Wink' is a lovely surprise. It is a superbly quirky piece with an original turn of phrase ['a cow's length away'] and some delightfully unexpected vocabulary. The ethereal atmosphere is made oddly believable by the solid physicality of the horses and royal paraphernalia. There are one or two trivial inconsistencies [apple-seller/apple seller], which are easily edited out. It might benefit from some very gentle de-Americanising if it is ever published in the UK. For instance, 'lady' and 'bug' does not make a 'ladybug' in English English, so the joke is slightly lost in translation, but it could easily be reworded. I think the apples could also do with renaming with one of your excellent funny made-up names, as it seems a bit of a waste of a comic opportunity [also, Golden Delicious are considered rather industrially-produced woolly insults to proper old-fashioned varieties here; but perhaps that's only in rural England]... I think this should definitely become a proper book.

what a crazy and colorful world you have created here. I can see this as a amazing piece of 'transitional' work for kids moving on in the literary world.

Joe,
The Hooligans Of Kandahar

This is a lot of fun!

The Lost Wink: I got about 4 paragraphs in, and stuck this straight on my shelf. Refreshing, funny and beautifully told.

I really like the original premise of the ‘lost wink’, like the emperor’s new clothes. What I found particularly engaging is the way that the youngsters in the book are more sensible and clever than the adults – which children will find very appealing, in particular Roscoe's narration – humorous, self-deprecating and touching – and who wouldn’t want to love a chicken or bake apples (or end up with a princess)?

Minor mistake (or is it?): ‘I couldn’t help but ask, “whatever happened to…”’ (Should that be “Whatever…”)

Thanks for the great read, good luck with the rise in ranking!

Hi Tod,
I’m here for our read swap. Sorry it’s taken me this long to get here. Below are my findings/comments. They are of course my humblest opinions, so please take them for whatever they’re worth.
Love the short pitch a lot, but I would consider replacing the exclamation for a period, as it seems a bit much.
Frankly, the first line in the long pitch is a little weak. It’s not much of a hook, and the emdash seems awkward there.
Again, it might just be me, but the exclamation mark seems a bit forced here.
I’d add “upon” after “munching”
I love the premise of this and your writing is strong, but the pitch starts to delve dangerously close to a synopsis with too much backstory and details being revealed. The goal here should simply to be to lure the reader into opening the book. Save those details for the story itself. I’d suggest whittling it down to the hooks.
Chapter 1
Not sure this is a very effective opening-line hook, but I love the imagery.
Add a comma after “departed mother”
I really love this. The writing is polished and the story is so original. Plus, I absolutely love your voice. It might be one of the most interesting narrative voices I’ve read on here. I really don’t have many criticisms, and seeing as how I’m an analytical bastard, you should take that as a compliment. Well done. Six stars and I’ll gladly add this to my shelf when space becomes available.
Best of luck and all the best,
Phil
(Deshay of the Woods)

BHGC
Hello Tod,
Plot-Good. Develops nicely, a gentle unfolding narrative.
Pacing-Just right, moves forward consistently.
Characters-Roscoe is engaging, Mortimer not overstated. The King a wee bit 2D and princess resembles Pippi Longstockings
POV- Fine in 1st person. Works well.
Style-assured and erudite.
Sentence level-no problems.
Dialogue-Slightly over-wordy but I am ignorant of this genre.
Originality-Within the genre I'd imagine this is fresh and unaffected.
Publishability-Can't be far off. Very polished, reads well with few interruptions to flow.
My notes_ Last few paras in chap 1-MC sounds more adult, philosophical and I wondered about his age. The hook at the end of C1 is very good, not the wham-bam variety which plays cheap but a thoroughly appropriate hook in line with the tone of the story.
'Drinking to excess' - reads adult and world weary which doesn't fit with Roscoe.
'green eyes' this gets some editors annoyed I hear but he follow up wet frogs image is v good.
'It was a start.' On a new line?
You are shooting up the leaderboard and I can see why-an assured narrative with engaging characters.
Hope you get updated onto the front page of the BHCG forum soon.
All the Best!
John

Dear Tod,

Wow! 'The Lost Wink' is a wonderful piece!

This story is just right for middle grade children, and I believe their parents would love it too! You have the perfect mixture of fantasy, realistic details, and humor to win over a huge group of fans! The opening line is amazing, and from there the story gets even better. I love the voice of Roscoe; it is consistent, sympathetic, and very real for a fifteen-year-old (ie: "Plus he smelled of rot").

You give us the concrete aspects all children can relate to (ie:apple pies), and surround them with a touch of whimsy, a touch of magical. I love that.

Also, the word choice you've crafted elevates this story to a lovely piece of fine children's literature. Here are a few of my favorites:
"seduced by the smell of roasting apples"
"mismatched socks and battered cabbages"
"befuddled and blustery"

The emerging theme of dreaming vs. surviving is intriguing also. I have no doubt this well-written, humorous, highly imaginative piece will do very, very well. I wish you every success.

All the best,
Faith Rose
Now To Him

I love you your story, I've only read the first few chapters but it is fun and engaging. Your voice is very fresh and quirky! I am a librarian and I'm always struggling to find good books for boys ready to move on from Captain Underpants but not yet ready to move into the YA section, this fits the bill and I hope you get published so we can shelve it on our real shelves soon! Thanks so much for commenting on my book!

FerinyaGrace
The Acorn's Crown

Review//The Lost Wink

The title and short pitch really drew me in. I just had to know what this was all about. I clicked read and never looked back. It is an interesting tale like no other I’ve seen for this age group on this site. I have no critiques and I had to back this.

THE LOST WINK
I read one of the later chapters of this so was eager to go back to the beginning and see how the story began. I realized when I read the later chapter that Roscoe had a big nose, but I didn’t realize how big until I saw it described here. Poor man; he’s certainly been given a poor lot in life. As Roscoe is a fairly simple being, I like the way your writing style is also simple; the character and the style mesh together nicely. Highly starred and added to my shelf. Wanttobeawriter: Who Killed the President?

I'm just wondering what point of view have you written this from?

Michelle

I read the first two chapters and I really think you are off to a great start. Engaging fairtale and you have a great hook at the begining. I don't have much to comment on, except that I would have liked to known a little more about how Roscoe was acquired by his master. I know his mother died, but all you say is Mortimer took him. Maybe you get into more later in the book.

Here's my half of our reading swap - sorry it's taken a while.
This has all the ingredients of a brilliant children's story - lighthearted, easygoing plot; likeable characters; imagination; talking animals... It will, I'm sure, become a favourite with children. I also agree with the comment made by Mark Cain - this is the ideal storyline for an animated film.
Best wishes,
Isabel.
"The Boy From The Next Dimension."

Lovely story Tod and very imaginative. I hope you do well with it. My son will enjoy it. I'll get his comments for you if you want. I especially like chapter 13, well I'm not past that yet anyway. I've just uploaded one of my books for younger children -Princess Haggis Ears and other adventures in the land of Soss and no-ones even comemnted yet (2 days ago ) whereas Replacement Mothers got quite a lot of views very quickly. I don't understand this site.sigh

Ireally enjoyed chapter 14 today -hope you do well with it

This is a well written story with very likable characters which will draw children in. They will like Roscoe straight away so will invest time in your tale. Children do enjoy a bit of silly fun and you capture this in your story. well done, High stars and a couple of winks.
Olive.

Hi Tod,

Sorry it took me so long to read some of The Lost Wink. I've now read the first three chapters. This is a very good young adult story. Very well written, fun, imaginative, with likable characters. How did you ever come up with the idea of a boy being raised as a chicken? Such an original idea!

I can't wait to see what happens. I'll come back soon and read more. Great job!

Susan/Greenleaf (Chameleon)