The Paths We Chose

Tyler,

I'm really enjoying this well-written and touching story of first love. Your pacing is excellent and there is an authentic tone to all the main characters. I don't have time to read it all at this stage, but I'm very happy to have it on my shelf.

David

Dear Tyler,

You’ve tackled a very sensitive issue quite effortlessly.
It’s ‘sensitive’ because even today in our liberal and free societies, many young people may be going through the same problems and feeling lost and bitter. It’s really very intelligent of you to address these concerns through a novel – no medium is better equipped to carry a socially relevant message than a well-crafted story. And, I say ‘effortless’ because you’ve peppered it with a healthy dose of situational humour. Frankly, I couldn’t have thought of a better way to tell this story.

Your writing doesn’t leave much to be desired. It’s rich and lucid, and some of the parallels that you’ve drawn are brilliant, e.g. the salt and pepper thing was hugely entertaining. The prologue was undoubtedly good, but it was the next chapter that was more touching. The story took a very tragic turn, and I’m sure that not many people know the despair and pain that Alex felt, carrying around such a heavy burden. I look forward to reading more.

* * * * * *

Best regards,
AGC

Great to see someone tackling such a sensitive subject. I like your writing style and it's great that you're aiming at the younger readers who could quite easily be going through this situation - many of which have no-one to confide or turn to, so good on you for potentially providing that resource for them through a novel.

Good read!

Lee Connor
"Elton: The Different Kookaburra"

A fantastic read, first chapter really grabbed me and wanted to read more.
Very rated

I'm really enjoying this. The voice is really natural and the story flows along really well. I really want to know how things turn out for Alex and I think that the emotional depth of the story will keep a lot of readers interested. I will definitely back it.

Lovely use of language. I fell into the story very easily. Then had quite a shock in Chapter 2 with a tragedy I didn't see coming.
Although not the sort of thing I usually read, good solid writing and intelligent story telling pulled me in once I'd started.

Starred. I'll pop you on my shelf as soon as there's room.

Good luck!
Diana
Pascual's Birthday

Initial thoughts:

-LOVE the voice! So easy and "real". Good job.
- There are some mechanics issues. (e.g. "grams" should be "gram's", when using em-dashes "--" the preceding & following word should butt next to the dash, some missing commas here and there, left out "the" in front of ladie's bathroom in the last line of the 2nd paragraph, "Did you see what i just saw?"- should have the "?" in sied the quotation marks with a period at the end of the sentence, quotation mark issues around the Holly Benjamin sentences, etc) These issues can be cleared up with a good editorial eye.
- Something bothers be in Chap1 in the paragraph about Daryl. It begins with the comparisons but then, later in the paragraph, talkes about opposites... This dichotomy seems disjointed. Perhaps the beginning can be worded differently? Or, include a transition such as: "Even though we were close in age, stature....we were in all other ways opposites..."

I read 5 random chapters and found the comments above to be true for each.
Being a former Youth Pastor, I'm sure this story has a market.

~Lucas

Loved the opening prologue, I hope to read more later on. Tons of detail!