Sally of Spring Row

Intense. Raw. Brutal. You've got my attention. Love it. Shelving it!

Emma – What more can I add to the reviews you have received? In the specialized world of Historical Fiction, you have created your very own territory. An enthralling story which draws you in from the first page. You are wonderful writer, able to bring your characters to life. You have the ability to make your reader feel he or she is right there with them.
Best to you with your work
jennifer

Hi Emma,

I’m sorry it has taken me so long to get to your book, especially since it is such a wonderful work. Like all the others who have commented on your book, I was so impressed with your talent and the way you unfold the horrific opening scene. I too was sitting on the edge of my seat, hoping beyond hope that someone would come to Sally’s rescue. Imagery is detailed and almost more than I could bear considering the violent situation.

The beginning of the second chapter expertly delivers some much needed “bleedin’ “ comic relief. Good job making the reader run through a spectrum of emotions as surprising new tense situation arises at the end of the chapter.

I love the way you introduce your characters - no deliberation - they matter-of-factly become part of the story. Their beautiful dialect add real-life color to the pages of your book. How fun it was to cheer with the neighbors as Joseph stalked off down the lane.

Either you have me fooled or you really have done your research and have duplicated life as it once was for the residents of Spring Row. I found every prickly mattress, thread-bare rag, and meager meal was something to ponder and gave me a reason to count my blessings.

Your manuscript is flawless. The only suggestion I would make is to let the reader see things through your character’s eyes a little more often. Show their unique perspective.

Emma, this is my absolute favorite kind of literature. A moving story that gives me something to learn and mixes drama with an even measure of hope and love. It's been watchlisted for a long time, but now, six stars and a promised backing!

Dianna Lanser
Nothing But The Blood

This really is excellent writing. You've clearly done your research and it sounds totally authentic. I can see Spring Row clearly in my mind, and the diverse characters who live there. It reads like one of those great Catherine Cookson historical sagas and I can absolutely see it as a drama on television. Your narrative is descriptive, graphic and brutal where it needs to be but by the end of the first chapter I was on the edge of my seat rooting for Sally. You have portrayed the horrors of domestic violence really well and I found myself actually holding my breath in places. I would absolutely buy this book if it was in a bookshop. Six well deserved stars from me and I really hope you find a publisher for this.

All the best
Melanie
La Vie en Rosé

This is a wonderful story. You must have put a lot of research into this as it comes across as a very authentic picture of what life was like in those days. The quite graphic scenes of violence between Sally and Joseph were quite upsetting but integral to the story. It makes me appreciate how far we have come in the war against domestic violence. You portray well Sally's vulnerability and her fear that this is not all over even though for the time being Joseph is not on the scene. This is the dread that all victims of domestic violence experience. The feeling that the respite is temporary and the next time could be worse. Your writing style is excellent. The words flow smoothly and is easy to read and the dialogue is authentic. I think you will touch everyone's heart with this book and I wish you well with it.

Kim (Pain)

This story remembers me about my father who always beat my mother when i was young until my mother packed out from the house. I think this is a story that you need to published for husbands and wife to go through. I have just finished reading the first chapter and I promised to read all. I would also find a space on shelve to put because it really touched my pain.

But i found somethings at the first paragraph like 'lyin, yer and some others' are those words English, a slang in your country or a language.

See i have rated your book six stars. And i will read more.

Isoje David

Animals In Paradise

Sally of Spring Row

I love the opening of this amazing story. It reminds me of the Catherine Cookson books I used to read, but this is just a little bit more violent and intense.
You have a wonderful imagination, and it comes out in your writing in the life-like characters and the vivid scenes youre creating.
highly starred
junetee
FOUR CORNERS.book one.The Rock Star.

A painful opening, Emma, is this fiction from a real diary? It is dreadful, drastic opening chapter. i am upset, have to continue on another day.

I find the story so far very exciting, and characters one has likes and dislikes for, feeling something for and the violence that is horrifying for poor Sally because of her husband, all in all, everything I have read so far grabs me, Im intriguied and want to find out more, and will be reading another chapter from time to time as my busy life allows, thanks for the message. I enjoyed this read and will be back again.
Saera
The Wizard of Crescent Keep

A very good read, descriptive and well written, but i didn't feel the fear.
Domestic violence is a difficult subject to explain. So many people just don't understand why it's so hard to run away from an abuser. "You've got legs, just run away when he's not home and go hide..."
If you explained a little about the emotional and mental effects of an abusive relationship, and that the times this took place, it would be easier to connect.

A riveting, gripping opening chapter that had me horrified at the brutality that Sally had to endure in the hands of her husband. The momentum is kept throughout the first chapter, giving the reader no respite until the end of the chapter when we realise someone has come in to help her. At this point I was able to breathe a sigh of relief. I had to reread the first sentence in chapter 2 as it is quite long and it might benefit from breaking up into two sentences. The dialogue is authentic and as I read the following chapter I was able to picture the community and place the story in the Victorian era. Arthur and his wife Ivy are particularly colourful characters and I liked their introduction into the story.
Happy to star today and will keep Sally of Spring Row on my watchlist to read further.

Maria (Georgina's Family)

Wow what a powerful opening.
I was only going to read a few chapters but I couldn't put it down - partly because of the great cliff hangers, but mainly because of your strong female characters - I juts love Sally and Ivy. I have read to chapter seven and will definitely be reading more. It is on my watch list and I have given it many stars.
The only slight issue I noticed was the fact that Ivy was so unaware of the goings on next door. Perhaps the walls could be thick stone, rather than paper thin - then it would make sense that she hadn't heard anything.
Will keep an eye on this and more than likely put it on my bookshelf soon
Best of luck with it
Kirstie

Read the first chapter so far and it hooked me. I will be back to read more. I am giving it very high stars now and once I read a bit more will probably put it on my shelf. Great!

Emma,

You've crafted an opening full of drama, with both the characters and setting vividly described. The atmosphere and mood of the close-knit community are perfectly depicted; the local dialect used to good effect. Will be welcomed by Catherine Cookson fans.

I've read three chapters and will return. High stars.

Camac Johnson
Untouchable

Another wonderful portrayal of a section of society set in its historical setting with the language they use and the way in which they act. Great stuff, Emma.
Four stars so far, but I shall read on to add to them.
Brigitte
You will dance again!

A gripping entrance setting the scene for a "good" read. You vividly open the door to a character we want to strangle before he can do more harm. Your characters are alive drawing the reader into the action. I wish, I could write like you.
Brigitte
at the end of chapter 1 and on my watch list already
reading on

Hi Emma, Your first chapter is so gripping and the character of Joseph so terrible that it is a relief when the voice comes in at the end to stop the torture. I found myself rushing on to the second and then the third without a pause. Your writing is gripping and the drawing of the characters is faultless. I hope to read more at the earliest opportunity. All the best. Sandy

Hello, Emma:
Of all the books on my watchlist and the5 on my bookshelf, yours is the one I continually check to see if new chapters have yet been added. Remeber the Carly Simon song: Anticipiation is making me wait; it's keeping me wa-a-a-a-aiting!

You have desicribed, Sally, her awful husband Joseph and all the characters with such detail, I feel as if I can visual what they would look like if brought to screen. There is no way you can weave a yarn with such vital and vivid imagery and leave us hanging. When can we expect more?

Ashara (Like Corns on My Toes)

This is a good yarn. There's enough suspense to keep you reading into the next chapter and I like the mix of good and bad characters.You know how to shape a plot well. I've read all the chapters and would like to read more. I've put it on my shelf.

Emma,
I am sitting here with a thousand things to do, and I couldn't pull myself away from your story! Your characters are so vivid and I was instantly sympathizing with your characters. The end of chapter one was a great cliff hanger. I couldn't wait to read more to find out what would happen. This is really well written. You have incredible talent. I love it and can't wait to read more. On my shelf, and highly starred!
Courtney

Hey Emma,
Your story has a lovely flow and the writing style is sharp and vivid. Well done--and I generally don't go in for historical romances. Somehow, thought I found myself on the forth chapter without trying.

My only comment is on your pitch. It was so bleak that I almost didn't want want to start it. In the last sentence, you allude to happiness that awaits but I would give a glint of hope earlier.

Best,
Melissa

Whoo, Emma, you certainly do jump right into it! You describe Joseph's brutlity so vividly that it's almost hard to bear, but I don't doubt that men of his stripe relly did rage unchecked in those days. What a relief to have someone intercede at the end of chapter one. It propelled me straight into chapter two. So far, it's a gripping story. I'll continue reading and soon shelve. Very good!

Elizabeth

Your first chapter had me reading without a pause, an excellent build up finally relieved by the last sentence. Chapter two allowed me to catch my breath, but you still had my interest. Which is all really good.
Strong writing, Emma and an effective feel for the period. Only one sentence in chpt 1 made me hesitate. 'what the hell are you doing?' It just felt too modern. Maybe something like...'May Hell take you if you lay a finger on me...'
Just my thought, it is you who has the vision.
So I don't look for things which will smooth out with an edit, merely good story telling and you have that here in spades. Starred and on my shelf. Margaret.

Thanks for your comment. Sally's accent is explained a little further on than you read.

A woman petrified of her husband that's clearly beating her, would she really be so tactless as to say demand, "Joseph, what the hell are you doing?" If I were in her position, I would be doing my utmost to placate the man, not infuriate him more by sounding indignant. Again, "You wouldn't dare!" It's obviously going to goad him on, I don't think those two comments are going to go down well...

Okay, you did set the scene wonderfully and really described the characters fantastically, I was really enjoying reading it, until I got to his accent. I know because of the time period you're writing in, a man would have such an accent, but if she's just as common, why does she not have one? Also, towards the end of the first chapter, her persona changed. I can understand that an expectant mother would disregard her own safety to protect a child, yet she was outright provoking him. She went from being petrified of him to talking back to him, then reprimanding him. "That's sick beyond belief, even for you!"

On what planet does she think she's going to get away with that comment? Then Joseph, who has been beating her for no reason at all, answers her with another stalling threat, instead of becoming enraged at the tone she's using with him. It didn't seem right to me at all. Both of their personalities changed so abruptly.

It's the first chapter that I've reviewed where I have wanted to see what happens in the next chapter.

Khance

Good story with great dialogue, Emma, and I think you’ve captured the era well. The opening chapter is strong and made me feel sick. Apart from the abundance of adjectives throughout, I’d like to comment on a few things.
In Chapter 2, I think the opening paragraph has sentences which are too long. Perhaps further down even more full stops could be inserted.
In Chapter 10, the scene between Sally and Tommy floats in and out of two POV’s. I’d go for one and then relate the other separately.
Try for physical descriptions, i.e. you write in Chapter 6 “The air was thick with hostility” or in Chapter 14 Sally notices “an all-encompassing smell” it would help the reader to connect if these disturbing events were on a more tangible level.
Otherwise, an intense and absorbing tale!
All the best,
Maud.

A woman petrified of her husband that's clearly beating her, would she really be so tactless as to say demand, "Joseph, what the hell are you doing?" If I were in her position, I would be doing my utmost to placate the man, not infuriate him more by sounding indignant. Again, "You wouldn't dare!" It's obviously going to goad him on, I don't think those two comments are going to go down well...

Okay, you did set the scene wonderfully and really described the characters fantastically, I was really enjoying reading it, until I got to his accent. I know because of the time period you're writing in, a man would have such an accent, but if she's just as common, why does she not have one? Also, towards the end of the first chapter, her persona changed. I can understand that an expectant mother would disregard her own safety to protect a child, yet she was outright provoking him. She went from being petrified of him to talking back to him, then reprimanding him. "That's sick beyond belief, even for you!"

On what planet does she think she's going to get away with that comment? Then Joseph, who has been beating her for no reason at all, answers her with another stalling threat, instead of becoming enraged at the tone she's using with him. It didn't seem right to me at all. Both of their personalities changed so abruptly.

It's the first chapter that I've reviewed where I have wanted to see what happens in the next chapter.

Khance

Terribly sad book.
The horror and cruelty becomes so real that is is frightening.
So well written that it makes you feel the emotion and terror.
Grand work.

Shelby Z./Driving Winds

The opening chapter of this novel is very powerful, almost unbearably so at times. It reminded me of a lot of 19th century fiction, Dickens especially, where the villains are so unremittingly evil they stretch credibility. Fortunately, Joseph never quite strays into the area of caricature, though he does come close on ocassion.

I love your use of local dialect and if anything I thought there could have been more. When the characters started speaking, they leapt off the page. Only once in the two chapters I read did I feel you struck the one note in terms of the dialogue. 'By, she was a rum 'un, that wife of his'. This confuses the reader slightly, in the sense that it's neither dialogue nor prose. Much better, I think, to have this read...'By, she's a rum 'un, that wife o' mine', Arthur thought. I just think this would read much clearer.

Chapter two was a nice contrast to the heavy, emotionally draining first chapter. It came as a blessed relief. I love the way in this chapter you start to open up the world of the row and introduce those living there. I especially love the feisty neighbour, Martha Smith. I could see her, arms akimbo, spoling for a scrap, not taking any crap off anyone, meddling in her neighbours affairs, fearless, a salt-o'-the-earth type who would crown you with her saucepan as soon as look at you. I look forward to reading more of her, which is another way of saying I'm not finished with your book yet.

Emma, this is a fantastic piece of writing :)

I read the first chapter and I daresay I will be reading more. I is atmospheric, slick, descriptive and three dimensional. Well done! The best I have read on this site since I joined last week.

If you find yourself a moment to have a look at my novel, Four Movements, I'd be thrilled to hear your feedback :)

well done again

Sally

Sally

Emma:
In the words of the Dickens' character Oliver Twist: I want some more, Sir; Please, I want some more."
Please tell me you are putting the remaining chapters up. Or, are you waiting to get to the Editor's Desk before you do?

This is a story; an honest to goodness story. It has movement, emotion, and is believable. Of course, I hate her so called husband. ugh! He reeks even through the pages. I see as some dolt who never shaves, smells of days old dirt, filth and ale: bad combination.

I like how you have built suspense into the story without making it feel contrived. These are Sally's moments, Sally's feelings, and we are right there with her in each moment of tension, apprehension, baited breath and fear - always lurking beneath the surface, hiding behind bravado and brash defiance.

I will be eagerly looking for more chapters.

Ashara, Like Corns on My Toes

I've made it to chapter 6. I LOVE IT!! Sally is my kind of woman: appearing fragile, she has a voice long stifled, yet found, and she will use it and all her brain can muster to remain free of that dredge of human being she married, Joseph. Emma, this is excellent reading, The characters are vibrant, real. I especially like the details with which you describe Ivy, her sons, their home. And the minister - ha! ha - I could only laugh aloud! I could see Sally looking the helpless, hapless wisp of a woman, drawing him up to her, and the snarl that must have surprised him! I Love it! This is one I will finish reading. I just have to know what happens and how it all takes place. I so hope Joseph gets his just due. And when this is finally published, I will buy a copy :-) Ashara (KitKat7)

Emma:

Have just read the first chapter: Abuse is always hard for me. This is gripping. I am not schooled in writing techniques and all that, but I know when a story gets my attention - even when the subject matter is difficult for me. I will keep reading and try try to give a more detailed and informed comment. Oh, Yes! This has my attention. It will go on my WL for now as my bookshelf is full at the moment. Ashara (Like Corns on My Toes)

Hist. Fict. Read

This is really a great story you have going there! Sally makes a wonderful, strong heroine, and you spin a gripping yarn that has readers looking for more, I'm sure! I can definitely see the influence of Catherine Cookson there.

The only problem I've had was with the dialect. When there is a lot of it, as you have in your story, it becomes a bit overwhelming and, at times, hard to read.

In any case, great work! And I hope you post more!
Ingrid aka Jack1761

Hey Emma i just read the first chapter, to be honest reading the pitch i didn't know if i would like it.I like period books but more war ones like Sharpe. But have to say i did like this. The only problem i had was getting used to the talking, parts of it i didn't understand. I think that is because I'm from Lincolnshire so different dialect. You do a good job of making people feel sorry for Sally and the reader to hate Joseph . over all good read.
Terence

Welcome and thank you!!!

Hey, Emma! I knew this would do well on here! I've joined to support others that support you, if that's OK? Hopefully, it will get you some extra backings & ratings. Much love! x

Hey, Emma! I knew this would do well on here! I've joined to support others that support you, if that's OK? Hopefully, it will get you some extra backings & ratings. Much love! x

Thank you for such a helpful comment! It's amazing how you can read the same stuff over and over and not notice such glaringly obvious errors! Thanks again!

Hi Emma,

Sorry it’s taken so long to get back to you with this, but I’ve been on holiday with no access to the internet. I’ve just got home and have now been able to read and comment on your book.

This is a lovely, very readable story, all 14 chapters. Your plot is lovely and your story flow is really smooth, with each chapter making you want to move on to the next. Below I’ve listed a few minor typos and made a couple of other comments. (If you word-search the top line, you’ll find the excerpt in your text. On the second line I’ve given my suggested changes). Feel free to ignore any or all of them.

Ch 4

At the end of chapter 4 you say that both Sally and the baby are asleep before Ivy’s out the door. It’s been a while since I had a baby, but that seems a surprisingly short feed for a baby that’s woken hungry.


Ch 5

1) ‘bad time keeping’
should be ‘bad time-keeping’

2) ‘fiercely independant nature’
should be ‘independent’

Ch 6

1) ‘After dad died, mum couldn’t’
Both ‘dad’ and ‘mum’ are names so they have capitals.

2) ‘paupers pit’
should be ‘pauper’s pit’

Ch 8

1) ‘the Morgans’ flitted’
should be ‘the Morgans flitted’

Ch 9

1) ‘your prior existance’
‘existance’ should be ‘existence’ (and the same later in this chapter)

2) ‘hot flat iron’
should be ‘hot flat-iron’

Ch 10

Your description of the carved animals is brilliant.

1) ‘nodded and make for’
‘make’ should be ‘made’

Ch 11

1) ‘fair diatance away’
‘diatance’ should be ‘distance’

2) ‘her and her child’
should be ‘she and her child’

Ch 12

1) ‘mirrowing her footsteps’
‘mirrowing’ should be ‘mirroring’

2) ‘domianted the spaces’
‘domianted’ should be ‘dominated’

3) ‘shouts of the porters were intelligable’
should that be ‘unintelligible’?
‘intelligable’ should be spelt ‘intelligible’

Ch 13

1) ‘dischevelled’
should be ‘disheveled’

Ch 14

1) ‘scutanised her young’
‘scrutanised’ should be ‘scrutinised’

2) ‘a world in which’
remove ‘in’

3) ‘I’m alirght’
should be ‘I’m alright’

4) the sentence beginning; ‘Sally felt strangely…’
Con halts in front of the tavern and Sally’s step halts abruptly. But as Con’s already halted he’s not likely to see this as odd. Maybe you could say; ‘…in before with Joseph, she pulled back sharply.’ Or something like that.

1) ‘irresistable’
should be ‘irresistible’

2) ‘the Morgans’ this morning’
should be ‘the Morgans this morning’

3) ‘Many streets were not cleaned and undrained’
that sounds as though they are drained. It might be better to say either ; ‘Many streets were not cleaned or drained’ or ‘Many streets were unclean and undrained’

4) ‘existance’
should be ‘existence’


Aaah! You’re leaving me in suspense!
This is a lovely, nicely-paced story. You’ve captured life in this time really well and created a world that is easy to visualize, a story that the reader wants to keep reading, and great characters. I love Ivy. I think she’s my favourite.

Sue

Hi Emma,

Sorry it’s taken so long to get back to you with this, but I’ve been on holiday with no access to the internet. I’ve just got home and have now been able to read and comment on your book.

This is a lovely, very readable story, all 14 chapters. Your plot is lovely and your story flow is really smooth, with each chapter making you want to move on to the next. Below I’ve listed a few minor typos and made a couple of other comments. (If you word-search the top line, you’ll find the excerpt in your text. On the second line I’ve given my suggested changes). Feel free to ignore any or all of them.

Ch 4

At the end of chapter 4 you say that both Sally and the baby are asleep before Ivy’s out the door. It’s been a while since I had a baby, but that seems a surprisingly short feed for a baby that’s woken hungry.


Ch 5

1) ‘bad time keeping’
should be ‘bad time-keeping’

2) ‘fiercely independant nature’
should be ‘independent’

Ch 6

1) ‘After dad died, mum couldn’t’
Both ‘dad’ and ‘mum’ are names so they have capitals.

2) ‘paupers pit’
should be ‘pauper’s pit’

Ch 8

1) ‘the Morgans’ flitted’
should be ‘the Morgans flitted’

Ch 9

1) ‘your prior existance’
‘existance’ should be ‘existence’ (and the same later in this chapter)

2) ‘hot flat iron’
should be ‘hot flat-iron’

Ch 10

Your description of the carved animals is brilliant.

1) ‘nodded and make for’
‘make’ should be ‘made’

Ch 11

1) ‘fair diatance away’
‘diatance’ should be ‘distance’

2) ‘her and her child’
should be ‘she and her child’

Ch 12

1) ‘mirrowing her footsteps’
‘mirrowing’ should be ‘mirroring’

2) ‘domianted the spaces’
‘domianted’ should be ‘dominated’

3) ‘shouts of the porters were intelligable’
should that be ‘unintelligible’?
‘intelligable’ should be spelt ‘intelligible’

Ch 13

1) ‘dischevelled’
should be ‘disheveled’

Ch 14

1) ‘scutanised her young’
‘scrutanised’ should be ‘scrutinised’

2) ‘a world in which’
remove ‘in’

3) ‘I’m alirght’
should be ‘I’m alright’

4) the sentence beginning; ‘Sally felt strangely…’
Con halts in front of the tavern and Sally’s step halts abruptly. But as Con’s already halted he’s not likely to see this as odd. Maybe you could say; ‘…in before with Joseph, she pulled back sharply.’ Or something like that.

1) ‘irresistable’
should be ‘irresistible’

2) ‘the Morgans’ this morning’
should be ‘the Morgans this morning’

3) ‘Many streets were not cleaned and undrained’
that sounds as though they are drained. It might be better to say either ; ‘Many streets were not cleaned or drained’ or ‘Many streets were unclean and undrained’

4) ‘existance’
should be ‘existence’


Aaah! You’re leaving me in suspense!
This is a lovely, nicely-paced story. You’ve captured life in this time really well and created a world that is easy to visualize, a story that the reader wants to keep reading, and great characters. I love Ivy. I think she’s my favourite.

Sue

(Historical Fiction Group)
Hi, Emma. I'm here to give the promised read; I kept going on, and on, and have read all fourteen chapters at once! I get more into the story the further I go.
Your first chapter was gripping, but I think it could still be improved. For instance, it was a little confusing at first to decide whether the backstory was the current story, and where the current story began again. Perhaps you could ease it in a little more by giving it a sentence or two at a time, maybe Sally thinking desperately as she looks around for a safer place. I don't know if you intended it, but I assumed he was accusing her of having an affair.
I love Ivy! Perhaps when you introduce her you could mention "middleaged" somewhere; I was surprised to read "eight babies", having thought her younger.
The dog stole my heart right away. I'm a dog lover myself, so to have the unlikely companion with her is delightful. Too bad she didn't listen to Lily's pleas and take her, too!
You draw quite the villian in Joseph. I hope he gets his comeuppance soon!
I noticed a few misspellings (aint instead of ain't; it's instead of its--for the dog; and a few others I don't remember right off hand). If you'd like me to give a more in-depth review of which specific sentences need improvement, just ask! :)
This is an absorbing storyline, and I am glad you asked me to read it. Personally, I love your title...
~Hannah

Hi Emma,
this is gutsy, visceral writing. Gripping, absorbing and emotive from the start. My heart was certainly beating faster when I got to the end of chp1! There is no messing about. Well done.

Your short and long pitch are good. You give something away but not too much and we know what we are getting ourselves in to! But I wasn't entirely sure about the title. It sounds really upbeat. The alliteration between Sally and Spring and the 'carefree' sound of both words is opposed to the theme of your novel and the atmosphere of the first few chapters. The title sounds more like the title of a "Darling Buds of May/Cranford" story, something sweet and pastoral and possibly romantic, which I'm not sure this is!? Just a thought.

I really loved your writing, so please take any crits as very slight niggles, there's really not much to improve on here, but I like to try and add something constructive if I can. But please feel free to ignore.

Even though it is a third person narrative, I felt sometimes the vocabulary grated with the mood of the scene. If we are looking from Sally's point of view, the language (even in third person narrative) should also be the sort of language she might use, otherwise we don't feel as though we are entirely in her shoes, we feel that we are in the author's shoes looking down on the scene. The authorial voice is fine, but it keeps your reader slightly more detached from what is going on and you lose some power. e.g. words like "instinctively", "anticipation", "intensifying", "humiliation" and "occurence" sound more like the author coming through, they go against the really gritty mood of the scene, and they act to remove us slightly from entirely feeling Sally's plight. It is a very slight point, but it'll help to make the POV deeper and more powerful even though it is in the third person. There's quite a lot on the web about this and it's an incredibly effective tool. It's sometimes called "Deep POV".
All the best with this.
6 stars from me.
Sharda.
Was hoping for a return read if possible. No pressure.
http://www.authonomy.com/books/42835/mr-unusually-s-circus-of-dreams/

good premise. intriguing. worth a read...
j

Hi Emma,
I love your story. Sally is a great character, gutsy and very likeable. I love the setting, hate her husband! Perfect. Absorbing narrative, completely had me hooked, right from the opening lines. Starred and backed.
Best of luck with it.
Melissa,
Lessons in the Dark

Emma, I love this story. I'm a great fan of Catherine Cookson and I love the Victorian era, so this book is right up my street. It's everything a good story should be, with drama and romance. Well-written with an excellent m/c. Well Done. Backed with stars and on w/l.

Kate Grimes - LIZZIE - CUPPA TALES - TALES OF WILLOW GREEN -ANNIE

Watchlisted. Your profile says that you are a Caherine Cookson fan - it shows! I've never read any of her books but I was addicted to all the adaptations when I was a student and this story seems to fit in with my Sunday afternoons memories!

Chapter 1 was gripping and brutal, I thought it contrasted nicely with the switch into chapter 2 and a slightly more leisurely pace. I can't comment too much on the dialogue as I don't know anyone who speaks like that, but it felt authentic to me. I hate when you read a book and the written accent sounds cliche. Scots seems to suffer the worst, in my humble opinion!

Industrial Victorian (?) settings are not something that tend to grab me when I'm looking for a read, so it needs to be a bloody good story to keep me going. This, as far as I've got just now, is shaping up well and is very well written. I can, if you know what I mean, watch it in my head like a little movie. I'll absolutely continue!

P.S, sorry if this is submitted twice, laptop seems to be having some sort of fit!

Watchlisted. Your profile says that you are a Caherine Cookson fan - it shows! I've never read any of her books but I was addicted to all the adaptations when I was a student and this story seems to fit in with my Sunday afternoons memories!

Chapter 1 was gripping and brutal, I thought it contrasted nicely with the switch into chapter 2 and a slightly more leisurely pace. I can't comment too much on the dialogue as I don't know anyone who speaks like that, but it felt authentic to me. I hate when you read a book and the written accent sounds cliche. Scots seems to suffer the worst, in my humble opinion!

Industrial Victorian (?) settings are not something that tend to grab me when I'm looking for a read, so it needs to be a bloody good story to keep me going. This, as far as I've got just now, is shaping up well and is very well written. I can, if you know what I mean, watch it in my head like a little movie. I'll absolutely continue!

You've captured the time and place brilliantly, the narrative and dialogue fit perfectly and congruently. Like the character development, it doesn't detract from the storyline. This is a great read - Good luck!

Emma,

OMG! The first chapter is so intense and brutally vivid, was on the edge of my seat by the end; poor sally! You have a very engaging writing style, putting the reader right in the thick of it, and the historical detail is intriguing. Loving ye olde accented English, i.e. ‘gorra reet beltin’ left hook, yer mam has’. Really good pace too (I got to CH04 but I starting writing this), and didn’t come across anything that I felt needed pointing out. Bravo Emma! Tis a great yarn indeed. Deserves top marks :)

Best wishes for the ED,
J.

Sorry, please forgive my ignorance with respect to English spelling and phrases. As a Canadian I know I've had a few fights with my American word processing software over the spelling of words. :p
I still like this book :)

'Those spellings are not incorrect! I'm English. We spell words differently to you Americans. We have an 's' in most words whereas you have a 'z'. Also, the word 'bairn' is not a typo. It is an English term for baby.'
Aye, I'm with you on that one Emma, tis (not a typo) the Queen's English, not the President's. Anyways, (also not a typo) book starts well, but it's not my bag. It is my wife's though, she likes it. Don't bother reading my book, you wouldn't like it. Feel free to give it 6 stars though, I don't care how I get to the top, as long as I get there.

Those spellings are not incorrect! I'm English. We spell words differently to you Americans. We have an 's' in most words whereas you have a 'z'. Also, the word 'bairn' is not a typo. It is an English term for baby.

I’ve read the first three chapter of your book and I think your choice of an opening scene is excellent at grabbing the reader’s attention and making them care about Sally early on. Joseph is absolutely awful as he is meant to be but I worry he might be a little over-the-top at times and becomes harder to believe. Overall I love what you’ve done so far and I will definitely be reading again.
Just a few spelling/grammar things I noticed:
“Please, Joseph, please, I need help; I’m bad with the bairn.” I wasn’t quite sure if this was a typo or a term that I didn’t understand.
Terroristation should be Terrorization
Agonising should be agonizing