Shadow Jumper

I really like your story. I like your characters, I like the plot, and I like your writing. I love the way you end each chapter with a "cliff hanger" so you have to turn the next page. Great job! Cliff hangers is about the only way to keep a child reading when Ipods, games, etc are calling their names. I'm givng you six stars and putting you on my shelf. Good luck!!

Sincerely,
D. S. Hale
Jessup and the Teleporter

Dear Julia

On the recommendation of Naomi I have read the first seven chapters of "Shadow Jumper". It is perfectly pitched: A great plot, interesting characters, plausible spookiness. All wrapped up in great writing and a well observed, realistic tone. What a package! Very impressive. Even the odd details that might raise questions, such as, "Why would a boy have a torch in his rucksack?" are answered.

I wish you every success and rate highly. I am making room on my WL.

Fran.

I liked the secrecy and intrigue you left me with in the opening paragraphs from '98. It makes me want to dive in and discover who, what and why. Your character Beth is seems interesting as well, dead parents, pale skin... I am curious and excited to learn more about her. Through 3 chapters and I like what I've read so far.

Good pace and a strong opening.
Nice introduction to your characters, that are well rounded and convincing.
The dialogue adds to your writing and fills out this well written piece.
Well-written ending to the chapters that I fell will entice readers to carry on into the next chapter.
I found this a very good read, which is easy to read.
Well done

Shadow Jumper--Chirg Review
I thought this was very good. Jack and Beth are two characters who should be really appealing to younger teens, who I assume are your target audience for this book. Both are isolated and lonely, but for different reasons: Jack involuntarily due to his skin disease and the stigma attached to it by his peers, and Beth because she purposefully makes herself that way so she doesn't have to deal with others' sympathy about her parents' deaths.
Everything in your upload is well-written and edited. The only thing I noticed was in chapters one and four, it should be Mrs. Roberts's or Mrs. Roberts' instead of Mrs. Robert's.
I actually read the whole upload in one sitting, even though I'd only meant to read a few chapters. Excellent job!
EV

CHIRG review

Lots to enjoy here. Intriguing prologue. I really like the fact Jack has this photo-sensitive skin disease, it's a great metaphor for the changes of adolescence and his self-consciousness. Shadow-jumping a great idea - I loved the picture of him out there on the roofs. Beth is also a great character - spiky and complex.

I agree with earlier commentators that 33,000 words sounds a bit short - that means this is a third of the book, and yet it seems to have only just got started. I also wonder whether you could tease some episodes out a bit more. When Jack is falling off the roof for example, or when the bus crashes - both events are over in little more than a paragraph and there's no time for tension to be built up.

Gripping, professional work otherwise though.This will be going on my shelf

Read a couple of chapters. LOVE IT!
Will continue...

Esther

I have literally got to stop reading because I have to pick my daughter up but I am really enjoying it. Your characters are brilliant and quick to conjure an image and your dialogue is very easy to follow. Yours is the first book I have backed and I will definitely carry on reading. Liked the sort of prologue bit as well, intrigue...

Julia,
I'm pleased to say that you've written the beginnings of a great page-turner.
It's a shame I will have to wait until the rest of your story is uploaded, but I definitely will be returning to continue reading this.
Your writing style and ability to pull readers into the story reminds me very much of Dean Koontz work.
Highly Enjoyable.
Jamie.

Amazing characters and amazing plot. I simply cannot wait to read on! You are a great writer and I cannot explain how much I love this story.

CHIRG crit
This is GOOD. Really grabbed my attention from the beginning. Only read a little bit but Jack is a great character and I susupect Beth will be similarly interesting.

I found the opening gripping, the cover very attractive, and the characters and the setting charming. I am still reading it but I am backing it now because I think I'd buy this book, if I saw it in a book store.

Hi Julia,

What great imagination you have! I found it very easy to engage into the feel of the characters which is so important with publishers. A free flowing story, and as a childrens' story, the dialogue grips just where it should throughout.
The fantasy market for children and teenagers would love this book and i really do hope you get 'picked' at some point for greater things. Also like your cover (orange and black work well together).
Well done...and here is to your future success

Dave B
Cat Galaxy-9
The Absurd Secret Diary Of An Unborn Baby

This is not my ususal genre but I love it. It makes a real change to read s children's adventure which doesn't contain a wizzard or an alien. Jack is a boy with whom many kids can identify. Your plot twists are unexpected and very well timed. High stars and on my watchlist. Well done. Yours Bea

The plot was interesting and has a twist to it just by reading a few chapters. There is something with this that I cannot put my finger on. Nicely done.

MIllicent
The Glass Serpent

Hi Julia, I just read your last few chapters and have to say I'm very impressed. The 'scientific mystery', with its backdrop of secret agents and spies, reminded me of some of the best of Blyton's early work, which means you could catch a good chunk of the 12-16 children's market. Yes, the plot may be a little old-fashioned, the pace a little slow, for some, and I agree with an earlier comment that more may need to "happen" (Jack is quickly grounded after his early roof-jumping escapades, maybe he could fly again at Auntie Lil's?), but this is otherwise a very assured and never less than highly readable piece of work. My nits are incredibly few, in fact just one of any importance. This is in your posted chapter 8, when Lil first claps eyes on Jack's grotesque wounds. 'My skin's getting worse,' says Jack, but how did Lil know it was bad in the first place? Also, wouldn't she be rushing off for some ointment and plasters to sort it out,? Instead, she just says 'don't tell your mum' and starts discussing where his dad might be.

I loved the bit in 10 where Beth discloses her 'parents' are in her rucksack. I carried my mum round for weeks after she died, before finally strewing her ashes on a Saxon mound in Maidenhead.

Hi Julia

As requested I've read the first five chapters of your novel. I've made some notes but please be aware that I'm new to Authonomy and also very commercially-oriented, so am less likely to point out literary nuances in your work and more likely to make suggestions that will give it broader appeal.

First things first it's a great narrative and you do a great job writing it.

Here are the notes I made:

I reached chapter six without much of anything having happened, and without the plot moving forward very much. There's a lot of exposition and explanation, but there needs to be more actual things happening in the real world. This is an adventure story, I assume, so we need adventure! You can still have exposition but it needs to earn its place!

Go straight to the roof jumping bit after the initial baby episode. Refer to his mum talking to him via flashback, not least because the narrative transition from breakfast straight to evening reads very odd. Jack's illness is introduced effectively when he meets Beth so all that needs to be referred to at this early stage is the lotion, which will be explained later. 

You telegraph the fall from the roof to the reader before it happens ("something went wrong"). Why did you do this? Show, don't tell! Just go straight into the fall. "Jack landed wrong and, before he knew it, he was falling."

Be careful of overwriting. At one point Jack's mother has a "smile on her lips". Where else is she going to have a smile?!

I realise it might be there for plot reasons but why is his mum still around? Cant she disappear along with dad? It didn't ring true to me, and I felt it odd that she was still able to function not knowing where her spouse is (don't think kids won't notice this—they're surprising savvy about life). As you probably know the unspoken rule of children's fiction is that you either kill off the parents early on, or put the kids of holiday so the parents aren't around. This allows the kids to have more adventures and also be more complete characters. It also fits in with the fantasies of many children. So maybe Jack should be staying with his aunt or uncle, who happen to have less than ideal parenting skills? That allies him more to Beth too.

I like the metaphor of Jack's illness being a reference to awkward changes that happen to kids that that time of life, but I feel the universality of it needs to be expanded. However, the illness is so severe that it feels like a drag and it made me wince at parts, which is not a great thing in children's fiction. It feels like Jack is frowning all the time. I've no idea of the plot beyond where I read but can't the illness be limited to a certain part of him?

The exchange between Jack and Beth lasts a long time (almost two chapters), and gets a bit dull. Can't something exciting happen? Can't they chase each other on the roofs? Maybe she can playfully steal his phone or something, which lines-up the fact it breaks later. 

The reader needs more of a reason to care about Beth. She's a little petulant, and weird. Why would a reader want her to come back into the story? Maybe she knows about something Jack's interested in. Maybe she promises to take him somewhere...

Time in the opening chapters gets weird: It's breakfast time, then the sun's going down (8pm?) when Jack's on the roof, then it's 10.30 when Jack returns home after what could only have taken 15 minutes.. 

That Jack finds it hard to make friends is mentioned twice. Just once is enough!

In all, I think while the story's very good, you need to work harder to keep the reader interested in those early chapters.

YARG

Hi Julia,

I’ve read the first four (authonomy) chapters of Shadow Jumper. What a lovely read. In terms of helpful critique, I have very little I can give you. Your writing is polished, with a nice sense of place, good characterisation and dialogue and a good pace. Below are just a few typos, otherwise I have nothing to give.

Ch 2 (authonomy chapters)

1) ‘got to his feet’
comma after ‘feet’

2) ‘up and down’
it’s not critical, but I’d be inclined to hyphenate this.

3) ‘he yelled out’
‘out’ is superfluous. The sentence would be tighter without it.

Ch 3

1) ‘my dad, he’s a scientist, made up’
the commas should be hyphens as ‘he’s a scientist’ is an aside.

2) ‘couldn’t care a less’
remove ‘a’

Ch 4

1) ‘head on’
hyphenate

2) sentence beginning ‘His keys, hooked onto his…’
I had to read this sentence several times before I worked it out. It sounded as though his keys were hooked to his belt loop by a key ring, a used tissue and bits of phone, so nothing made sense. You could get around that really easily by putting ‘hooked onto his belt loop by a key ring’ in parentheses.

3) ‘washing up’
hyphen

4) ‘ten thirty’
hyphen

5) ‘his tossed back his duvet’
‘his’ should be ‘he’

6) ‘brushed her hand aside’
full-stop after ‘aside’

7) ‘she was a bit happier’
comma after ‘happier’

Perhaps the one comment I have, is that you mention this is complete at 31,000 words. That’s pretty short for a novel. Are you aiming for the younger end of the market, where the stories are shorter? I notice that Jack is thirteen, so I’d presume you’re aiming to attract something around the 10 yrs up to early teens market? My kids would have read this length book at ten, but probably not since – and once kids move on to the longer-length novels they don’t usually go back, except to reread favourites. I’m speaking from a complete lack of expertise here, but it might pay to find out exactly what age-group reads novels of this length and set Jack’s age accordingly. From the chapters I’ve read, there seems to be enough leeway to make him a bit younger if that works better for the age-group you’re targeting.

This is a highly imaginative story, with a very original mystery – the injection given to the baby (presumably resulting in Jack’s allergy to sunlight) and the disappearance of Jack’s dad. These hooks are guaranteed to entice kids to keep turning the pages. And I love your hooks at the ends of your chapters, too. They’re excellent. You have a lovely, easy-to-read writing style, which made the story flow seamlessly. Well done.

I’ll put this on my watchlist and give it some time on my shelf as soon as I can.

Sue

Dear Julia: Well, dearheart, your book is the first one that I've picked up in which I've read every page and would have read to the end if you had uploaded it. May I put my name on the list to order a copy as soon as it's published??? I don't know anything about you as a person - not even your age - but you already have "it" :whatever it is (and I think it goes beyond talent) that makes one a best-selling author. The first ten chapters of your book are as good as 99% of the books I've bought and read from bookstores (the other 1% includes Koontz, Tolkien, Asimov, etc. etc.) and some day you'll be up there with the other 1% if you keep writing. Julia, I read every word of your ten chapters and have absolutely no suggestions - I honestly don't see how a single word could be better. You KNOW how to write a chapter, you KNOW how to write dialogue, and you KNOW how to keep a reader turning the page! If Harper-Collins or some well-known publisher doesn't pick this up - they're outta their heads! You are going on my bookshelf to stay. Blessings, Pat

This is very well written. The characters come to life. The plot's good, and your hooks at the ends of the chapters keep the reader turning pages. I'm giving it six stars. I have a middle-grade teen sports mystery, Stopped Cold. I hope you'll read it and feel you can support it with stars, a comment, watch list or backing.

Shadow Jumper
A bit late, I’m sorry, but I’m here for the return read. I’ve read everything you have uploaded and I loved it! Jack is a great MC, plagued with enough self-doubt to keep the reader sympathetic. You paint the confusing world of a child so well, I’m sure Mum knows a bit more about where Dad is than she lets on. Your chapters end with great hooks to keep it moving , so well done there. I was a bit confused in Ch 7, they went all the way there to ask Aunt Lil about his dad, but then it ends with them going to sleep without even talking about him. I would think that Jack would run in the door and right away start questioning her! I was also a bit confused about how much Jack can go in the sun. Can he go in the sun all he wants with the lotion? Or does he still have to limit it? I was under the impression that he still had to limit his sun exposure (hence the Shadow Jumper) but in Ch 9 you mention the perfect paintwork “Gleaming in the morning sun” as he goes outside.
I LOL’d at “This was going to be purgatory”. What age is SJ geared towards (which leads me to my next Q – how old exactly is Jack? Could you work it in? Or maybe you did and I missed it, but I went back and looked and couldn’t find it)? Am I underestimating kids to suggest that purgatory is a big word for a 12 year old (the age I’m guessing would read)? Maybe.
Ch10 – OMG, she carries her parents ashes around. That is so sad, and yet, so incredibly creepy!
I had one nit: (it is the silliest nit ever) I don’t think you want to use the word spindly in Ch 7. I know what you were going for (maybe gangly?) but I think spindly means inordinately thin. Which you describe Aunt Lil as being thin and then you contrast her to Dad. Yeah, I know. Worst crit ever :)

Overall, I think this is a great YA/children’s book, and enjoyed it very much! Sorry it took so long to get back to you!
Kate M.

Shadow Jumper - Julia Forster

Hi Julia,

You asked for feedback, but I really can't give any. I've read the other comments and it's all been said already. All I can say is, I think you're an excellent writer, I love it, and I would buy it.

Good luck
janie :)

I've read about half the chapters so far. Excellent. Was involved in the story and characters - who are very
likeable - immediately. Yes, I would absolutely buy this book and recommend it to my family/friends! Backed with pleasure!

Randall
The STRIKERZ

Gripping start to the story; a sinister injecting of a yellow liquid into a baby. I could not but move on to the next chapter to find out why. One of the strengths of this story is the way the writer captures the reader's attention and holds on to it. Chapter 2 ends with a strong hook as the reader wants to know why Jack is screaming and this continues through the chapters I have read so far.
The writing seems so effortless, flowing from dialogue to narrative and back again; this must be the result of scrupulous editing by the writer as to get a manuscript so polished does take a lot of work and skill.
I particularly like the description of Jack's shadow jumping and I think this will interest readers; 'bouncing off chimney walls and somersaulting over low ledges'.
Jack is an interesting main character and Beth is different too, charging up the reader's imagination.
Rated highly today and will keep on my WL to come back to.

Maria (Georgina's Family)

Prologue & Chapter One

Very well-written! This reminds me so much of Jodi Picoult's Second Glance, at least your MC is similar. have you read it? Your voice here, though, is original and strong. Any comparison I make of your book and hers is only meant in praise for your brilliant craftmanship.

SW
Devil Went Down

Shadow Jumper grabbed my attention right away and makes me want to read more.
As a father and a lover of good kids/family stories I can imagine many
kids (and adults) getting into this story! Well done!

Randall James
Author of The STRIKERZ

Hi Julia,
Finally finished the posted chapters of Shadow Jumper. I wish I had some constructive criticism for you, but I don't. Beth and Jack have one of the finest friendships I've ever encountered in fiction, and their antics and mutual support throughout their adventures is lovely to read. The dialogue is fun, the story is engaging, and I found this succinct and easy to read. I think my favorite bit was the list of "the case of the missing Dad."
All the best with this- I'd love to know where it goes from here!
Ellie

Hi Julia,

After reading the first six chapters I can see why this book is so popular. It's fast paced, well-written, and entertaining. A great young-adult book. I love the characters, especially Jack. I'll come back to read the rest of the chapters. I hope you'll add more chapters, too.

Susan/Greenleaf (Chameleon)

Julia, this is a wonderful book! I don't usually read YA, but I am loving this one. You are very good at the cliffhanger (or maybe I should say roofhanger) chapter endings, too -- just can't put it down. Excellent story!

Elizabeth (The Made-Up Man)

I read five well written chapters making me want to come back to read more. The prelude held me spellboung wanting to find out who did what, a crime obviously. I wished chapters 2 and 3 were condensed into one speeding the story up to hold the interest of a younger readership. Having said that, I am eager to find out what is happening next.
You are on my watch list, Julia.
Brigitte
You will dance again.

I began intending to only read one chapter and come back later -but I couldn't stop reading! Your story is fresh and funny. I love the main character, Jake. He seems very real. It's difficult sometimes to add in unusual or fantastical elements, but you do it very well.

Hi Julia, just popping in to return the read. I only intended to read a coupla chapters of 'Shadow Jumper', but got sucked into four - what gripping stuff! The idea of a young kid with a rare skin allergy 'shadow jumping' roofs at night is sure to appeal to the young teen fantasy market - I was reared on Marvel comics and the 'young geek makes good' a la Peter Parker is a universal narrative that I've always enjoyed. I particularly enjoyed your well-drawn characters, your crisp believable dialogue, and your short sharp chapters with inbuilt cliffhangers. Your chap 2 ending is a corker! Nits are few, just a) a prurient interest in how far this rash 'goes'. It seems to be all over his body and on one hand, but not on his face? I would have thought that would be the first place to flare up, it being the most instantly accessible to sunlight; b) the opening to chap 3 seemed a bit clumsy. I would suggest making Beth's dead parents the start of the opening para, not an 'afterthought'. So, it might read better as 'When Beth said both her parents were dead, Jack felt strangely relieved. Given the way she looked, he'd been expecting her to say they were werewolves or vampires or members of some weird sect.' Just a thought, feel free to ignore.

I'm giving this 6 stars - outstanding writing!

Joe Kovacs
Ginger the Buddha Cat

(please forgive the 'fantasy' tag - it's just that the only 13 year old I know who jumped rooftops in real life is my wife, and she ended up in hospital)

Julia, I think this is great. A nice mix of traditional and unusal elements and an instantly likeable, very modern central character. It's easy to read, and there's plenty of action and suspense, condensed into short chapters which keep the reader's attention focused. Jack's skin disease is a really original touch.

My only criticisms are that the conversation that Jack has with his mum in Chapter 2 feels a bit heavy handed, like you're trying to fill in too much background. I also baulked slightly when Beth reveals her parents died in a car crash. The parents of so many characters seem to meet this fate!

Highly starred, really good job.

A great story that kept me reading with interest. Each chapter ended with an amazing hook to make you read on, very well done! I loved the idea of the story and thought you introduced your main character and his condition very well. The shadow jumping on the roof tops was exciting and the fall was described wonderfully, it really got the anxiety going. I really enjoyed what I read and will find a place on my shelf for you soon. Many stars for now.
Best wishes
Rachael
Dreamscape

Hi Julia
This is just the sort of book I can imagine my children reading and enjoying.It's very well written, flowing along very smoothly and the short chapters are perfect for keeping a younger reader's attention. I like the way how you end each chapter with a hook so the reader wants to continue on. I ended reading far more than I intended (the usual - lack of time) so it works. The plot is very good, pacing and characterisation are excellent. It's very polished writing and to be honest I can't really find anything to critique about it. You've done a brilliant job with this. A constellation of stars for you and you are on my WL for backing very soon.

All the best
Melanie
La Vie en Rosé.

Julia,
I read five chapters of your book and I found it quite interesting.
There is good suspense building up and I really want to know what happens next.
There is a constant flow to your writing - uninterrupted.
Only one thing i'll say, and it is just a thought - would it help the plot if you described his skin condition more severe and painful? Just wonder if it might add more impetus for him to find his dad.
Any way, I enjoyed your book. High stars.

All the best.

This is original plot idea.
It sparked interest right away.
Your dialog is very well written as is your story itself. You make it flow with interest and mystery.
You put a lot of thought in this.
Your cover and title are creative.
Best wishes with your work.

Shelby Z./Driving Winds

P.S. Please take a look at my pirate adventure Driving Winds.

Taking my time with this for you - hope you don't mind...
Got to chapter 4 and have a couple of things that might help you - do you think Jack and Beth should talk more before exchanging an address? That would show more of a spark of a relationship between them... and I did find it a little strange that Jack and his mum are living in a grubby downtown flat when his dad's a biochemist and likely earning a lot of money... I just think, if Jack's dad wanted to keep Jack and his mum happy while he was 'away' they would be living somewhere better? Perhaps describe the flat with pics of the happy family and holiday keepsakes showing Jack's mum clinging to the hope his dad will return?
Still liking it all though... :) Story moving along at a good pace... finding Beth an interesting character... hope all that helps...

Hi Julia,
Wow. I'm up to chapter 3, and so far, fantastic. A great voice, and fascinating, unusual characters. I'm really interested in Jack's photo sensitivity- a very cool premise. I'm looking forward to reading more!
One tiny niggle (and you can take it or leave it):
End of chapter 2: as long as 'they' agree- I wouldn't put the quotations marks around they. It makes it feel like Beth is holding up her index fingers and making quote signs.
Six stars- ill be back tomorrow for more.

Hi Julia,
I dropped in to read the first chapter after I enjoyed the pitch. I ended up reading much more than I expected. I love the short chapters and the quick pace but I think it could be even quicker - I'm not one to talk here though. I though the prologue was a good, straight to the point introduction that gripped me straight away. Backed.
best wishes
Chris

Had a quick read through the first three chapters - and liked it a lot. Love the way each chapter ends, drawing you forwards to the next. Feeling sorry for Jack so far, which I guess is what you wanted at the start??? I'm just not quite sure whether I like him yet or not, but it's not hard to understand why given the situation he's in.
Good sense of mystery and questions the reader will be seeking answers to.
Would I be right in assuming Mrs Roberts as mentioned in chapter 1 is actually spying on him? I know from my writing a character mentioned early on can come back later...

Julia,
Now for the good:
The prologue is a little creepy, in a good way. It gives the story an air of mystery. I hope in the end I can find out who those people were, what was in the syringe, and why they did what they did. It adds depth to the story.
The main character Jack is intriguing. His condition calls for pity and makes him an underdog. He also has an interesting hobby and ability, which is related to his problem (he is confied to the shadows) while giving him the strength of a hero. His uniqueness works well for a main character than I can follow and care about.
The chapter cliffhangers are great. Excellent way to end the chapters.
That's enough for now.
I will continue your book with chapter 3 in the near future.

Owen
The Grand Prize

Julia,
I'm interested in your character and I'm eager to see what happens.
Here's my comments on the first two chapters:
When Mum says that Mrs. Roberts is going to come at lunchtime, it seems to signal that we're about to meet Mrs. Roberts. After Mum leaves, the story skips to the late afternoon. It seems to be a bit of a let-down that you didn't follow through with Mrs. Roberts.
When Mum texts beans in fridge 4 t, Jack understood this to mean she'd be late again. If she put the beans there ahead of time, then it seems she knew she was going to be late, but she didn't mention that before she left. This is a minor logical problem, but I don't think it would slip past a good editor.
(Also, as an American it took me a while to decipher beans in fridge 4 t, since we don't have "tea" in the sense of a meal or snack.)
The part where Jack slips and almost falls of the roof isn't described clearly. "One minute he was leaping between . . . the next minute he found himself flat on his back." The former and latter parts are not equivalent. I suggest writing his mishap very deliberately explaining the motions of how he tried to make a jump and how he failed and ended up on his back.
Beth says she followed Jack from the alley. But as a reader, I have no idea when Jack was in the alley. I can't trace him back that far. I can only deduce that it must have been sometime before he was sitting on the roof thinking and waiting for the sun to sink lower. That means that Beth must have been watching him for a long time and leaping among rooftops behind him without being noticed. These are the conclusions that I'm led to, although they all seem a bit surprising. Either the narrator needs to confirm these inferences or explain them better so that I'm not asking myself whether or not I've got it all straight. It's too much guesswork for the reader.
And when Beth said she saw Jack in the alley acting strangely, what does that mean? I, the reader, didn't see him in the alley acting strangely, so it begs for some explanation, or else calls for rewording.
What I suggest is that Beth says she noticed Jack at a point in which the reader was there to see him, too. Have her say what it was she saw him doing that piqued her interest ('acting strangely' is too vague). Then I will have a clear picture of when she entered the scene. Take out the guesswork for me.

Positive comments in another post.

Owen
The Grand Prize

Hi I have read the first five chapters and I think it's great. Perfect for your audience, cliffhangers that maintain interest and, although I don't yet know where it's going, a really interesting and different plot. That prologue is enticing too. You have earned six stars already and are first on the list for a bookshelf place when I rearrange which is due anytime actually. Good luck with this and I hope you enjoy The Boy From The Next Dimension. It will be interesting to see what you think as they have similar qualities. Especially the end of chapter 1 where he turns and screams!!

Hi I have read the first five chapters and I think it's great. Perfect for your audience, cliffhangers that maintain interest and, although I don't yet know where it's going, a really interesting and different plot. That prologue is enticing too. You have earned six stars already and are first on the list for a bookshelf place when I rearrange which is due anytime actually. Good luck with this and I hope you enjoy The Boy From The Next Dimension. It will be interesting to see what you think as they have similar qualities. Especially the end of chapter 1 where he turns and screams!!

Wow, this is a story that’s hard to stop reading, thanks to your cliff-hanger chapter endings. I read the first four chapters and thought the pacing was very strong. You make it very easy to feel empathy for and connect with Jack. And Beth, too; she’s a very intriguing character.
But I was a little unsure how Jack knows he can’t wait a few days, let alone the two months it would take his dad to get home. I also wasn’t sure why he wouldn’t tell his mother this if he was sure of it. I understand he doesn’t want her to worry, but this seems to be something she should be worried about. I would think that if Jack’s condition is worsening he would want help from anyone: his mother, doctors, etc. even if they didn’t help much in the past. He would want to tell his mother so if she did manage to get in contact with his father she would be able to tell him what was happening and he could start looking for a solution. I guess I didn’t think his motivation for keeping his growing skin sensitivity a secret was strong enough, especially if this is going to propel the rest of the story. Just something to think about.
Overall this seems to be an original, well-told story. I really enjoyed what I read. Best of luck with it.

Loved the start, the poor baby, what was done to it. Really catches the reader and gets them to read more. Your MC, Jack, is easy to sympathise with and we feel for him so are soon involved in what's going on. Nice cliffhangers at the end of chapters. Dialogue is believable. In all, a jolly good teatime read :)

Hey just read some of your book . You done a really good job with this. Good story and good character. Worth a read if you can spare a few minutes.
Terence

I have read all the chapters you have uploaded and really enjoyed them. I'd say this is very, very good and should definitely be published. The kids's are totally convincing. Beth's reaction to grief is so authentic, 'I'm over it', then all the little signs and finally the contents of her rucksack. Jack too - 'Don't make me sound sad,' a very true reaction. I like the humour and the way they talk and the pace is perfect for older kids/young adults. Good cliff hanger chapter endings, scary plot. Fantastic stuff. My bookshelf is weeks behind but Shadowjumper will end up there eventually!

Excellent suspenseful story. I like the pace and there are enough hints of action to come to keep you going. Also it is almost impossible to not keep reading as every chapter has a cliff hanger to keep you going. I will be returning to this to read more.

Here's my YARG review:

I like the immediate start, and the writing style is well-suited to the age group. The cliffhangers were very effective- I only intended to read the opening chapters, but ended up reading up to the end! Your characters are very likeable, with believable motivations and problems, and the dialogue is realistic. I can honestly say this book is extremely hard to fault- I just want to read the rest of it!

I am enjoying the building sense of mystery as Jack and Beth attempt to solve the puzzle. This is a great setup for an adventure/mystery novel and I can see it appealing to a wide readership. I also really like the title!

I'll be putting this one on my bookshelf, and best of luck with it!

Emma.

If you have the time, I'd be really grateful if you'd read my book, The Puppet Spell, too.

Shadow Jumper is a great and well written book. The plot, the pace, the dialogues; everything is put together with an incredible talent. I am enjoying reading this book and I am rating it with 6 stars. I chose it randomly while picking up something to read and I am glad I chose your book as one of the books I had time to read today. I will add it to my watchlist to keep reading and will leave it on my shelf later for some support, as it deserves.
Thank you very much for sharing it on authonomy.
Eddie

Hi Julia,
I have read through to chapter 10 and thoroughly enjoyed it.
You have such a great opener with the baby and the injection, it made me want to carry straight on to the next chapter. This is very well written and the plot original. I didn’t notice any typos or significant errors, but then I became quite absorbed in the story. There is a great pace to this and your characters are likeable and convincing. I like the cliff hangers at the end of each chapter which make it a real page turner. Chapter 10 ends with so many unanswered questions which seems to suggest it is going to turn into a great mystery and adventure story.
Given loads of stars.
Lots of luck with it, I hope it keeps climbing.
Amelia

I read the first 4 chapters and found the story moved well. Your dialogue was good but you set hooks to keep interest well. I look forward to reading on.---JL "The Devil Of Black Bayou"