Book Jacket

 

rank 5141
word count 10709
date submitted 31.01.2012
date updated 20.02.2012
genres: Fiction, Romance, Fantasy, Young Ad...
classification: moderate
incomplete

Melaney and the Edge of Alternity

Brittany Engstrand

New battles and complexities arise within the mirror…

 

Melaney was finally happy in the mirror world with It Tsuke and their friends. That is, until the journal she’d been using as a connection with her brother in the real world brings bad news. Her mother turns very sick- believed to be the work of a spirit that entered the world when Melaney left to continue the balance of both worlds. Now, Melaney must return to her world even though it has completely forgotten her existence.

It Tsuke vows to follow her, afraid to lose her once more, and Melaney must choose between the life of her mother and wellbeing of her brother and the happiness she finally has. Meanwhile, Naakate is conspiring against them by recruiting a group of notorious demons and even a few of Melaney and It Tsuke’s former allies.

There is only one way left to pass through the two worlds- the border between Alternity and Eternity, but can they destroy a spirit in her world without disturbing the balance and will Melaney be able to return to the mirror world?


Please Note: This has been uploaded simply for those who are wanting to read it and is very rough!

 
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tags

demons, fantasy, it tsuke, melaney, mirror, romance, world. paranormal

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2 comments

 

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Alidownb wrote 91 days ago

It's like a movie :)
I read chapter 5 and I enjoyed it more than I thought I would.
This isn't usually my type of genre.

Just a couple things I noticed. I think when you are doing a dialogue, you should separate the reactions and thoughts between the persons speaking. For example, when Melaney wished she would disappear. In the same paragraph Christa has a reaction. I think Christa's wide eyed reaction and her asking what Melaney was talking about should be in the same paragraph, separate from Melaney's outburst.

Also, you say she a lot. There are two girls here and sometimes I got confused, especially when you threw in an extra name here and there. Sometimes, in a paragraph, I think you should say the name of the person you're speaking of at least twice (sometimes).

Other than that, this was pretty good!

-Aliah
Her Demise

triciapixel wrote 104 days ago

This is a powerful sequel! I'm glad I finally got a chance to pop over and read it. Great job setting up the conflict early on. Part of me wishes Melaney and It Tsuke could have time to develop their relationship, but a bigger part of me is ready for another adventure. I knew Christa was trouble from the moment she appeared. As if Melaney doesn't have enough to deal with, now Christa is creating a rift in Melaney's relationship with It Tsuke. And, things are heating up in the 'normal' world, leaving Melaney little choice but to go home to save her mother. I'm excited to see how this story plays out. Let me know if you post more.

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