Book Jacket

 

rank 1392
word count 57351
date submitted 02.02.2012
date updated 17.02.2012
genres: Fiction
classification: moderate
complete

Small Pleasures

George Richmond-Scott

An unconventional love story of a romantic friendship in South London, but deception, dementia and long kept family secrets threaten to destroy everything.

 

Jameson, a quiet, sexless outsider and his younger sister, the chaotic Roses, care for their mother, Wanda, at the family home in Peckham Rye. She was once a glamorous ‘60s icon, but is now in the later stages of dementia. Their father abandoned the family long ago and Jameson decides, now Wanda can no longer forbid it, to attempt to find out what happened.
At a school reunion he discovers a childhood friend has died, leaving behind a widower with two children. He insinuates his way into their lives through mild deception and they become very close.
Meanwhile Roses’ complicated love life takes an unexpected turn involving Jameson’s best friend and Agnes, an old woman who once cleaned for the family, is visited by a strange cat and feels obliged to return something precious she should not have taken when she was fired all those years before.
They discover in different ways the comfort and strength to be gained from just being there with others and how enjoyment of the little things in life may help to compensate for the tougher challenges most of us face.

 
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tags

deception, dementia, family, fiction, humour, london, reflective, romance, secrets, unconventional

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9 comments

 

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Cara Gold wrote 65 days ago


Dear George,

I have read your first chapter several times, and also looked briefly at the second. Once I got into it, I found your book quite delightful, and I particularly like some of the ways you use to characterize Jameson’s sexuality (or lack thereof) and his awkwardness (like with the texting).

I like the way you focus with great detail on small little things; like the hats the women are wearing… sitting on the loo and being dappled by colours… the overripe fruit. It made me think back to your title ‘Small Pleasures’ and I like how your descriptions resonate with your title, and what I think this story will ultimately unfold into.

There is a sense of calmness and smoothness in your writing. It is evident to me that you have spent a lot of time editing and ironing out awkward sentences. From that point of view your writing is grammatically almost flawless. One small note though – after dialogue, you don’t need the full stop (comma instead) if afterwards you are saying ‘said such and such.’ Like “Hello,” said Cara.

I have thought a lot about that comment regarding ‘voice’ that the agent was talking about. I think I understand… Your story demands a lot of attention because of its intricacy, and the fact that a lot is about thoughts, as opposed to physical action. I have read some books on Authonomy lately which you can read quite fast – not in the sense of skip reading – just in the sense that you don’t have to pause, in order to internalize things. So when I began on yours, I immediately realized, ‘no, I have to slow down.’ I am quite a patient person and so once I took things a bit slower, I did enjoy reading the intricacies of your work. But, I can see how a less patient person might potentially lose interest, or become too confused.

I have struggled so, so much with my first chapter in my book - I think because of the fantasy world I constructed, I constructed it with a lot of detail and just feel I need to get it all out (going down to things like geography, with my maps… religion, traditions, food, history etc). So I entirely empathise with the difficulties of trying to set up context etc. for your book, and how sometimes as writers we feel the need to splurge out a million details, which readers might not necessarily want to hear.


I think the key is to ramp up the ‘action’ so to speak early on, and to feed in all that info and details gradually. Having said that, your story is not about physical ‘action’ really. But, I still think there are ways that you could ramp up this pace, and grab hold of interest more strongly. I think my biggest point would probably be that at times, the reader feels quite distanced from what is happening. Yes, we are privy to Jameson’s thoughts and all this detail – but there is not so much an emotional connection. I think this is extremely important, because emotions and senses are what connect us as human beings – not the details about our individual lives.

You handle the ‘senses’ component well, with your intricate descriptions on those ‘simple things’ I was telling you about. But, regarding the emotional aspect, I think you could do a lot more.

Suggestions; maybe change the way you structure the early part of your book, to depict specific events in Jameson and Rose’s life, and connecting the reader more strongly to them.

For example, the opening can be purely about an incident showing Jameson’s ‘quiet, sexless, outsider’ personality. But, instead of having this event intermingled by a dozen other thoughts and events, make it the subject, and focus entirely on that subject.

I love the way you begin with that dialogue about his name. I think you could write all your chapters beginning with little dialogue sequences like that, that pick out a little aspect of Jameson’s life.

For example, maybe don’t begin with talking about the names at the beginning. The reader cares more about their personalities than their names – so unless you want to explore the meaning of a name, and what is a name? (and the tendency of humans to give labels to things, and the whole philosophy behind that) then maybe that is not the most relevant thing at the beginning.

But, you could begin by plunging the reader into a vivid, present depiction of Jameson’s sexless-ness, concentrating on that, concentrating on the way Jameson feels and somehow try to make the reader identify.
Then, the next chapter could be about Roses, and her drinking.

What do you think?
And so on and so forth… intermingling past events that truly characterize these wonderful characters you have created – with the present day storyline.

I hope that that is helpful. Or let me know if it is way off and extremely unhelpful. Maybe it would help for me to read more --- I am definitely interested in having a read of some more. So let me know how you go with this comment, and then I shall get back to you later if I have more/better advice to give : )

Best wishes and good luck!!! I hope you enjoy my work.

...
Cara
The Awakening: Dawn of Destruction

AmandaMary wrote 67 days ago

Hi George, I liked the beginning, very original. Angharad is actually a common Welsh girl’s name, being a Welsh lass I would know this, you may want to revise the name. I only read chapter one but it did captivate me. I look forward to coming back to read more very soon.
Please take a peek at my book “A journey back from Naivety” it is full of humour, romance, wit and has a twist. It is bound to bring a smile to your face. Good luck with your book George, I enjoyed reading it so far. Looking forward to your comments on my read x

NMott wrote 83 days ago

V. v. good. Read a random selection of chapters and couldn't find anything negative to say about it. In some respects it reminds me of Poppy Adam's The Behaviour of Moths.
Unfortunately, at only 57K words it's the size of a novella, not an Adult novel, so you will probably have difficulty finding an agent or traditional publisher for it, so you might consider e-publishing it yourself or adding a few more characters and another plot strand to bump up the word count.
All the best with it,
Naomi

Greenleaf wrote 90 days ago

Hi George,

I've read the first three chapters so far and I'm enjoying it. Your characters are unique and interesting, and you've done a great job developing them. Your dialogue is natural. I like your writing style, too. My only suggestion is that you might split up some of the really long paragraphs (especially in chapter three) so that the eye doesn't want to skim over them. I'll be back to read more. I'm interested to find out what will happen to Jameson and Roses.

Susan/Greenleaf (Chameleon)

Deborah Aldrich Farhi wrote 103 days ago

Only on chapter one, but will definitely be coming back for more. The characters are so alive, and so likeable! I'm always reluctant to say certain things as I think there's probably something obvious to everyone else that I am missing. But I was confused about Jameson's and Roses' ages. They sometimes sounded in their 30s or 40s, and because their mother is aged I thought they must be a bit older, but other times I thought they were teenagers.
I'm going to love this; it's just my kind of story!!

Warrick Mayes wrote 108 days ago

George,

Chapter one was a real joy.
I love the sibling rivalry and love-hate relationship between Roses and Jameson. The names, too, are delightful.

Very clean narrative, totally believable dialogue. Excellent idea and well executed.

Best regards
Warrick

celticwriter wrote 109 days ago

Love the genre. Love your style. On watchlist for now.

blessings,
jim
"Jack & Charmian London"

George Richmond-Scott wrote 111 days ago

Thanks so much for taking the time to read and for your valuable feedback. I've nailed the typo and will have a good think about rabbits and tattoos! I'm thinking of uploading the rest of it tonight, so do read on if you're enjoying it.

Best,

George


Small Pleasures 02/02/2012

The writing seems to me to very proficient and skilful. The characters are very well drawn right from the start. The dialogue is believable, natural and the flow seems pitched just right . I look forward to seeing what sort of cover you are going to go for. Up to now I detect a rather nice air of light-heartedness although from the pitch I am prepared for that to change.

I only comment as a reader and so don’t even to pretend to be able to pick up on grammatical glitches and stuff and there are plenty more people on the site who are much more qualified that I to do that sort of thing. I have read and enjoyed the first chapter immensely and feel that I have a good feel for Jameson although he does seem to be a rather strange individual.

The work has a lovely easy flow which makes the reading of it very pleasurable. In enjoyed chapter two and meeting Wanda in her current incarnation. The only teeny thing I did wonder about was a madman and a rabbit, possibly a tiny bit of a cliché with the old bunny boiler thing but as I say this is all just comment as I read so please feel free to take all that I say with a pinch of salt.

I am having a tiny problem now placing Jameson in age. I had thought him heading towards middle age but if he was that he wouldn’t have known people with Chinese tattoos when he was seventeen. I apologise if you have already covered this and I have missed it. Ah there we are then he is 37 I assume. Well yes, that fits with his mother and the 60’s but I still wonder if it is a little early with the tattoo. As I said this is all just thoughts as I read, if it is useful to you well and good if not totally ignore it please.

This story carries one along at a wonderful pace, I really want to know more and I am happy to take whatever time the author has decided to get there. I already know that I am going to put this on my watchlist and then to shelf it in due course. It will have to wait patiently in a queue but I will definitely give it shelf space.

I think that you have captured the pathos of this terrible condition very well and the little piece about the stair lift actually moved me to tears that was so very well done.

The description of Agnes and the cat was really super well done spot on. Ch.7 para 8 you have a teeny typo “there” should be “their”

What a poignant day you described for boxing day and what a wonderful person Jameson seems to be I'm really rather fond of all of your characters.

I have read all that you have posted and watched as you have skilfully begun to weave it all together. I think you have a lovely book here and I wish you the very best of luck. I will watch with interest as it shoots up the charts as it does deserve to do – Cheers – Diane




DDickson wrote 112 days ago

Small Pleasures 02/02/2012

The writing seems to me to very proficient and skilful. The characters are very well drawn right from the start. The dialogue is believable, natural and the flow seems pitched just right . I look forward to seeing what sort of cover you are going to go for. Up to now I detect a rather nice air of light-heartedness although from the pitch I am prepared for that to change.

I only comment as a reader and so don’t even to pretend to be able to pick up on grammatical glitches and stuff and there are plenty more people on the site who are much more qualified that I to do that sort of thing. I have read and enjoyed the first chapter immensely and feel that I have a good feel for Jameson although he does seem to be a rather strange individual.

The work has a lovely easy flow which makes the reading of it very pleasurable. In enjoyed chapter two and meeting Wanda in her current incarnation. The only teeny thing I did wonder about was a madman and a rabbit, possibly a tiny bit of a cliché with the old bunny boiler thing but as I say this is all just comment as I read so please feel free to take all that I say with a pinch of salt.

I am having a tiny problem now placing Jameson in age. I had thought him heading towards middle age but if he was that he wouldn’t have known people with Chinese tattoos when he was seventeen. I apologise if you have already covered this and I have missed it. Ah there we are then he is 37 I assume. Well yes, that fits with his mother and the 60’s but I still wonder if it is a little early with the tattoo. As I said this is all just thoughts as I read, if it is useful to you well and good if not totally ignore it please.

This story carries one along at a wonderful pace, I really want to know more and I am happy to take whatever time the author has decided to get there. I already know that I am going to put this on my watchlist and then to shelf it in due course. It will have to wait patiently in a queue but I will definitely give it shelf space.

I think that you have captured the pathos of this terrible condition very well and the little piece about the stair lift actually moved me to tears that was so very well done.

The description of Agnes and the cat was really super well done spot on. Ch.7 para 8 you have a teeny typo “there” should be “their”

What a poignant day you described for boxing day and what a wonderful person Jameson seems to be I'm really rather fond of all of your characters.

I have read all that you have posted and watched as you have skilfully begun to weave it all together. I think you have a lovely book here and I wish you the very best of luck. I will watch with interest as it shoots up the charts as it does deserve to do – Cheers – Diane




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