Book Jacket

 

rank 4168
word count 10412
date submitted 02.02.2012
date updated 02.02.2012
genres: Fiction, Thriller, Crime
classification: moderate
incomplete

On Message

Joyce T. Strand

Jillian Hillcrest, PR Executive at a small Silicon Valley biotechnology company, encounters murder and helps track down and identify the killer.

 

Jillian Hillcrest, the head of corporate communications at Harmonia Therapeutics, is eagerly staying “on message” to inform investors and the media about the company’s latest drug candidate for the difficult-to-diagnose and treat autoimmune disease, lupus. She is pleased with the results of an announcement in Geneva of encouraging Phase 2 data, and returns to the U.S. ready to continue to publicize her company and its products. However, her enthusiasm is overshadowed by several events, including some mysterious suspicious clinical data, her boss’s affair with the CEO, and an inquisitive Wall Street Journal reporter. However, the most intrusive interruption in her routine is murder, which disrupts her routine of writing press releases, speaking at conferences, and arranging interviews. She encounters a determined San Francisco police inspector who is convinced she is the key to the murders. With the help of her ex-husband-whose attentiveness to her suggests he wants to amend the “ex” - and a retired middle-aged intrusive motherly neighbor, Jillian connects disparate pieces of the puzzle to help solve the crimes. This mystery was inspired by a current case of a murder that occurred in La Jolla, CA.

 
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tags

biotech, biotech mystery, corporate communications, murder, mystery, public relations, san francisco, silicon valley, woman sleuth

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5 comments

 

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St. John wrote 102 days ago

Read a couple of chapters, Joyce. Lots of potential here. Dialogue is very realistic, pacey and flows well. C1 was a delight .. loved the opening paragraphs and thought Jillian handled the whole thing very well. Can see why she's in PR .. :)

C2 .. still flowing although I have to be honest and say I did skim read a little over the first three or four paragraphs. I also got a little confused towards the end of the chapter - last two/three paragraphs - wasn't sure who was talking.

Apart from that I think this is heading in the right direction. Your writing has a nice, fluent, pace to it and I'm definitely going to read on.

Starred and on my shelf for a bit.

Mick :)

Warrick Mayes wrote 107 days ago

Joyce,

Just read your first chapter. This feels like it is going to be great fun. A lovely opening paragraph and a charming continuation with the encounter in the hotel lobby.

How much of this is similar to your own experiences? I know you couldn't say, but I bet there are similarities!

Your narrative is really fresh and the dialogue is pleasing and believable.

In an early paragraph it sounded like the biotech company only has 200 employees. "200-person biotech company..." Is this coincedence as the second phase of the drug trials also has 200 patients?

A nice high rating from me.
Best regards
Warrick

TDonna wrote 107 days ago

Joyce, you definitely hook with your first chapter. It's quick starting and propels the reader into the story, while at the same time you begin developing Jillian's character. It flows very well, written very well, with the plot unfolding at the right pace. You've done a great job establishing setting. It's wonderful!
TDonna Robison (No Kiss Good-bye)

celticwriter wrote 109 days ago

Hi Joyce,
Love the genre. Visual, fun, would make a terrific movie! On watch list for now.

blessings,
jim
"Jack & Charmian London"

MIRO1K wrote 112 days ago

Kia ora Joyce,

Just dropped by for a chapter and was very impressed with your writing. Nice pacy beginning, full of tension of intrigue. I thought the CEO and her boss might've been having a gay affair so it was nice that you kept that little mystery bubbling away.
Your writing has really nice shape and rhythm and the dialogue is natural and convincing. The only thing I'd watch is a bit a repetition eg. you repeat details about her fleeing the bedroom scene -this slows the plot a touch. Also be a little careful about putting description of appearance in for it's own sake -try to have a reason for describing it -a connection to the plot. This are just minor polishing points -I predict you'll do very well here:)

Highly recommended and rated. Happy to read on.

Kaal Kaczmarek
Cousin Felicity and the Eels of Misty Point.

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