Book Jacket

 

rank 5456
word count 11566
date submitted 04.12.2008
date updated 10.02.2009
genres: Fiction, Thriller, Fantasy, Horror
classification: adult
incomplete

The Lost Game

Srae Jalette

Perpetually haunted...

 

One of a kind Ivan Darnell is a man on everyone's radar. His wife is the object of lust sought out by every man in the neighborhood he has newly relocated himself to, and his young daughter is brimming with a captivating charisma that makes everyone fall in love with her. Furthermore, nobody seems to know where he came from or how old he is; but it doesn't seem to matter, until a grisly tradition unfolds, marked by his own ennui...

 
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tags

blood, dad, daughter, family, feeding, immortal, killer, monster

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2 comments

 

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William F. Aicher wrote 1263 days ago

Only read about half of the first chapter, but frankly got a bit bored. There's something stilted about your writing style that just isn't working for me. I think it's the overuse of sentence fragments, as well as a tendency to write in a passive voice. Take my feedback for what you will - hope it helps.

zenup wrote 1268 days ago

Very unsympathetic main character. So he can't have children & steals 'ripe newborns' from wombs? I can read that sort of thing in the newspaper. I read fiction for entertainment. One point of view, here.

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