Book Jacket

 

rank 5456
word count 12683
date submitted 23.02.2012
date updated 23.02.2012
genres: Fiction, Comedy
classification: moderate
incomplete

Fifteen Down

Chris Cook

This is the story of four young Scottish guys, brought together by a collective boredom and a love of music to form a rock band.

 

The rock band – Aorta – becomes middling successful (receptive audiences in Czechoslovakia and Sweden) and lasts eight years before not so much splitting as shattering. The four walk away from the wreckage determined not to see one another again. But now it’s twelve years later and a dream brings them back together, if only for a little while.

A well of unfinished business draws the four back together at a time in each of their lives when they are especially aimless and discontent. The ex-manic depressive singer has just given up a career as an Elvis impersonator and his wife has left him, the drummer is managing a nondescript supermarket, the guitarist still has the luck of the Irish and the rich, gullible wife to prove it and the bassist has just been sacked for inappropriate stripping in the workplace.

Is there any of the ‘old magic’ left for Aorta or could it be the best they can hope for is to get out of the reunion alive?

 
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tags

music, reunion, rock band

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2 comments

 

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snowday wrote 85 days ago

Hi Warrick
thanks so much for the feedback! I know that I do get a bit carried away with wandering sentences and it's something I have to watch my writing for all the time. Your criticism is very welcome and I'll re-read to see how I can take it on board.
cheers again
C.

Warrick Mayes wrote 86 days ago

Chris,

I liked the pitch and read a good chunk of the first chapter - enough to know this is great material.
I like the rough edgy narrative and the touches of humour as we learn about the band and its manager.

The mix of miss-fits is surely a disaster in the making, as implied by the early lines. The potential for trouble between you and the drummer sounds awesome.

I noticed a couple of things:
The long sentence that begins "Although Mick Angus’ book would probably have read a lot more happily..." feels very clunky. I think a little re-arranging is required here.

This bit "...and our relationship disintegrated into fights regularly..." does not read very well, and I would change it to "...and our relationship regurlarly disintegrated into fights..."

"...called him a spawny get." should that be "...called him a spawny git."?

Best wishes
Warrick

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