Warm-Up Kills

Hi,

Finally got the chance to read the first few chapters. You've developed quite a cold-blooded character! It will be interesting to see whether he has any redeeming qualities later in the narrative. My first impression matches what I noticed in a few other comments, that the first chapters lead with a lot of back story. The reader might get hooked quicker if you start with action and supply the back story in smaller amounts. Didn't notice any SPAGs, but I did think that the protagonist is very articulate for someone who didn't pay any attention in school. You've already moved the book up quite well in the rankings, best wishes for even more success!

J. T. Carroll - Bitnapped!

Hey

I have read the first two chapters, but I will keep on reading and give you an overall view. I do like this. The hitman is curious - the fact that he had two devoted, "doting" parents, and yet he is so detached, or at least appears to be. He seems logical, almost rational when discussing the way he goes about murder, his thoughts on murder. Clearly he isn't, his detachment is extreme, running through to his personal life and killing lovers before they get too close,(or before he does). Perhaps he is this way because he cannot be close to anyone, due to the trauma over his parents' deaths. Maybe he sees death as random and ruthless, so he is seperating his feeling of responsibility. It is all very interesting and thought-provoking. Good film, perhaps...

Will be interested to read on and see the depths that lurk beneath this character. wl, and highly rated.

All the best, Lee

I'm curious to know how you come up with such as a cool title

Jack - I've just read the first three chapters and enjoyed them. This is the kind of story I read for pleasure. Just a word of warning about slipping into the past at the very start. Editors advise against it for it halts the forward momentum. For this reason perhaps you should consider opening with the filling station scene, which is really where the action starts. Backstory can be put in later. Similarly when the MC is practising with the gun - do we really need the example of a past chance meeting with a woman who becomes a client? These suggestions would, I feel, add pace and tension which would keep the reader on board for the whole trip. Good luck!

Camac Johnson
Untouchable

Jack
Perused through the first three chapters. I will definitely be back to read more. Loved the style, clarity of writing, and the story. Obviously you've done some editing, spelling and grammar seem on the money from what i've read so far. Congratulations and I will comment again when i've read more.
M Cirillo
SERVED COLD

Hey.
Read a bit of your first chapter, sound well good!!
Sorry I can't comment on more :(
I'm just trying to catch up with my reads lol 30+ of the buggers.
But i promise ill read it more.
PROMISE,, PROMISE,,PROMISE.
Ellen Michelle

Jack when you messaged me you said your book was tame compared to mine, so far I have only read the first chapter, and you have blown me away and yours is the first book I def want to read to the very end, I am friends through facebook with quite a few professional authors, Stephen Leather, Matt Hilton, Zoe Sharp and let me tell you your opening is just as good as any of there work, you are up there with them, I do hope you plan to publish this work you have a gem. The only thing I would suggest is get rid of the brackets and change them to dashes. I am going to read this right to the end.

wow! Why did I wait so long to read "warm-up kills. Its simple brilliant.

6 stars+

I read the first few chapters, your book has great description it's very vivid and engrossing. You seem to have a gift for creating characters that seem very real, Max in particular is frightening and fascinating at the same time. One last comment I have is that you don't seem to have typos like a lot of other people (such as myself), it looks like you have painstakingly edited this. To sum it all up, I think you have a strong book here and I'm happy to give you six stars.

Roy Earle, "Bad Men and Bad Odds"

I sincerely appreciate your kind comments. You seem to have read the entire book. If that is the case, I'm pleased that it held your interest. I will read your book soon. It is now on my watch list.

A Nice, descriptive and well written book. Your writing style is very impressive, dialogue are realistic with vivid charachters and narrative is at great pace. Highly rated.

Great first chapter - I'll definitely be back to read more. Max gives me the chills. I like your characterisation and have given you high stars.

WARM-UP KILLS
JP HUDSON
I made it to ch.4. I did find one small bleep, perhaps not but,... In ch.2 the sentence reads, and parked at 'his' low class dive by Sidney,. Don't you mean 'this'? Anyway, I like Max. But, typical to the common scenario for psychopaths, by ch. 4, his mistakes begin piling up. Great story! Please take a look at mine which is non-fiction and being revised into a screenplay, The Tuskegee Strangler. And thanks for that. I have starred yours and it rests on my list until time to move it forward. LLL

Great book so far. I read through the first three chapters and I like the dark feel of the story. You do a great job of pulling the reader in. I wanted to know more and more the further I read on. The book is clean and looks professionally edited. This one is ready for the shelf! Great job and thanks for the read. High stars on this one for sure.

As with your first book, well edited. There are one or two word choices that could be improved upon. The only grammatical question is parra 6 of ch 1 where, for one sentence, you change to the present tense. This may have been deliberate but it jarred a little.
Well done,
Rob Lawrence

Hi Jack (and Pat)

Thank you for your message. I do not back many books but I thought that yours stood out. The pitch is excellent and the first chapter hooks the reader instantly, with crisp style, short sentences and just the right amount of dialogue. I have not read every single word but having dipped into chapter 6, I can see that you maintain the momentum well. Keep writing!

Don't feel that you have to read anything of mine but if you want to start somewhere try "Dead Reckoning.' I have tried my hand at the style you manage so well.

Best wishes

Philip John

The first couple of chapters of this were decidedly creepy but thoroughly engrossing. I'll be back to read more.

Excellent start to a mystery. Suspenseful, well written, I want to see more.