A Man in Grey Shoes

Hi James!

This is beautifully written - it has the feel of a classic. (I'm sure it will be some day!) Very polished, clearly you have spent a great deal of time editing. The humor you pepper into this is wonderful. I have no nits or suggestions other than to say to get this piece in print for people to buy and devour! Backed.

Kim
Invisible Justice

James,
This is a very interesting take on American racial issues, and I find much of it unique from the millions of words that have been written on this subject in the past. Your play on the word “colour” is nearly brilliant in that you’re dealing with the serious issue of racism and yet you’re also satirically talking about a ridiculous local argument over the colour of the town hall. Truly original. I’m not caught up in all the “show and tell” discussion from other reviewers. I like this content. I grew up in the American south in the 1960s and ‘70s. I know a great deal about the modern US civil rights movement. Books like yours are very important to keep this issue at the forefront and to make certain, frankly, that we don’t repeat the sins of the past.
Great stuff and I’m backing.
Mark

This is an excellent story, you really feel for the main character during the opening having to leave everything but his family and a few belongings behind to escape war, then leaving the carnage and you can almost see the beauty of the hills as they escape the ugliness of war. Your storytelling is so well written and easy to read. Excellently done and rightly shelved.

Sandie
The Crown of Crysaldor

A Man in Grey Shoes
James Guiney

James,
This is a very original take on a personal, universal, and highly relevant theme - colour blindness, as you refer to it in your pitch. I am impressed by your stylistic elegance - the unfailing delight I experienced as I read. This is very powerful writing containing elements of the comic and brutal, idyllic, sometimes absurd, satirical, laced with profound meaning concerning the essential nature of man. Splendidly solid fiction, well crafted, on a very delicate theme. On my shelf and best wishes,
Zan

As I've said to many people, "there is no black and white in life, really there's just many shades of grey." I love the title and it's play on color that also weaves throughout the book. How do we see color? It's a theme that underpins so much of America and resonates so profoundly across all aspects of its economic, social and political future. With a distinct voice you create a unique approach to examine this issue.

In the prologue you create the iconic backstory that shaped so many mid-western towns in America. The selection of its secluded location hints to the reader that these are people who will dislike strangers and anything else that might bring change. With wonderful turns of phrase you skillfully create the beauty of this chosen spot. "a winding river gullped down through a hillside,"..."Far away in the distance skulked more hillsides and mountain tops. This is a very polished and well written prologue.

In this chapter we see the town, well established now and prospering quietly in its middle America venue that could almost serve as a Norman Rockwell painting. Their disputes, apparently small, hint at bigger undercurrents however and we learn of the emerging tension over the bigger issue of color.

You've established a convincing distinct mid-western voice in all the chapters with some of its idiosyncratic speech patterns. The only area you might want to consider looking at is the paragraph where you list the reasons they re-visited the church painting issue after the painter broke his arm. Some of the phrasing sounds a little awkward to my ears. The other thing I really think you should consider is to drop "whilst." That's a purely British expression and will ring false in any American ear. Try "while" instead, which is what would be used.

In another section about the protest and you write "Whilst stood at the counter people stared and whispered.." besides the "whilst" there are words missing.

These are just nits and seemed to be confined to that chapter. The rest of the chapters are wonderful insights into the small town mind (albeit in a parody). I loved the choice of Dr. Mandrake, and the use of the "always woman" and the "never man" who tells Freddy to "never trust a man in grey shoes." The scene recruiting the "Glue clux Clan" members is very witty and again helps explore how people see color.

I don't know where you are on this novel, but I hope it's progressing onto publication. Kristin

Hi James, (A Man in Grey Shoes)

Loved your book James and am BACKING it now. You go on my shelf now.

Frank James (The Contractor)

Wow - James! You drew me right in from the first chapter. You are a talented writer indeed and this is a unique approach! Shelved for a few days.

Liz
The Cheech Room

Hi James,
I have read the first two chapters so far and wanted to touch base and mention my favorable impressions. I enjoy your style and am attracted to the premise. And what a fine last paragraph at the end of the second chapter (I will read on). I was very impressed with the line: Pressure from the vindictive always seemd to prevail. Alas, often true. I'm at work, so I have to read in fits and starts. But I am confident in the quality here to offer you 6 stars.
Cheers,
John B Campbell (Walk to Paradise Garden)

James,
Not sure if you come here much anymore, but stumbled across this and wanted to say how much I enjoyed it. You have a lyrical, beautiful prose style, infused with the feeling of a greater wisdom but the awareness to include small details. We get an overview of Weverley but can feel the pulsing of humanity within. Some beautiful images, the beginning feels like the start of a wonderful, patiently-paced journey. Really enjoyed this.

---Mary
The Qualities of Wood

Well, I have read all five chapters tonight. You had me in the first chapter, which is descriptively enchanting. I think almost anyone would like the idea of living in a place like Waverly was in the beginning. The world was once a place like that, wasn't it? A good allegory, with a lesson to follow. The sinister beginnings of the trouble are well-paced. I will back and give you stars - and I want to to let me know when you have added more chapters.

Patricia West Hays
The Witness Tree

I enjoyed what I read of this but I have one comment - where, geographically speaking is this set? There are few clues in the text. I assume it is the US but it could easily be Turkmenistan. Please, for your overseas readers, just add in a sprinkling of hints in your prologue to ground the setting. :)

this is written in an original and pacey style. a fascinating piece of literature...on my watchlist...
read SEASONS,,,,

An eloquent, thought provoking story with fascinating characters. Wonderful imagery. Sparkling dialogue. A pleasure to read. Backed.

Quite an amazing truth: the hardest things to leave behind are those that won't fit in a box. A beautifully written tale. I loved its start and would love to return for more. Backed. Gordon - The Harpist of Madrid PS mine is also an historical novel!

Quite an amazing truth: the hardest things to leave behind are those that won't fit in a box. A beautifully written tale. I loved its start and would love to return for more. Backed. Gordon - The Harpist of Madrid PS mine is also an historical novel!

Quite an amazing truth: the hardest thingd to leave behinfd are those that won't fit in a box. A beauitifully written tale. I loved its start and would lover to return for more. Backed. Gordon - The Harpist of Madrid PS mine is also an hisytorical novel!

A neo-classic, James Guiney. Someone has to sort out this race mess, so I nominate you and your satirical A Man in Grey Shoes. Do my color-blind eyes deceive me or is the cover somewhat Huck Finn like?

Backed and best wishes.

GK Stritch
CBGB Was My High School

Along with everything on Authonomy, I'm re-reading Catcher in the Rye right now, "Little Shirley Beans."

Dear James,
This is a most amazing and original novel, I loved it. A very deserved backing, best of luck and much success.
Sincerely
Helen
The Last Dream

I'm WL this! I can't wait to read the rest when I have time. It is very interesting and beautifully written. Good job :)


Brittany Cournoyer
Finding Sam & Taking Risks

I'm glad to have discovered this. Beautifully written, thoughtful and of course dealing with something so very important. On my shelf.
Joanna Carter
Fossil Farm

Love the build up! I'm not a western fan and started reading this with a little trepidation, but have been rewarded for not taking things at first sight.
A character driven piece so far that reminds me a little of 'To Kill A Mockingbird' (if I have the right book?). Will be taking my time to finish what is here, but would advise anyone reading this to give this book a go. I think you'll find it worthwhile.
Backed.
Mick
Flirty Something

Don’t know what made me start reading your book but I’m glad I did. It’s late, actually it’s early and I’m sitting here enjoying your story.
You’ve done a great job and the corners of my mouth keep lifting upwards, sure sign I’m having a good time.
For whatever’s worth, you’ve got my backing.

Intriguing yarn. Very well written. Well done!

Philip John (The Ambassador's Last Post/Dead Reckoning)

As with all good humour there is a serious undertow and this is no exception, only this is not good humour it is exceptional!
Your fun prodding at systems and there need for systems to have systems to support them at the beginning hooked me and then it was a no brainer, it became a book that had to be read. Good luck with this it’s great!

I really think you should work on the pitch. The short pitch just offers us genre, whilst the long pitch offers us context. I really would like to see more in the way of story and characters. It is clear from reading your prologue that you can write very well indeed. Chapter one is even better. I would urge you to work on that pitch.
Carl
The Time Hunters

Effortless prose written with style and panache...very impressive. I intend to read more later but backed for now
Stewart

Your highly descriptive writing style coupled with your strong command of the English language makes this finely constructed, unique novel a pleasure to read. Your work is well paced and well written Your use of imagery is excellent and your character development is solid. Backed with pleasure.

Cheers,
Andrew Burans
The Reluctant Warrior: The Beginning

Jamie, this is very good. and I'm not just saying that. I could see the devastation and feel the pain of the survivors as they struggled to make sense of it all. Fireflies dancing under an absent moon is just one of the beautiful imagery here which is weaved together by excellent writing. I can see why this has moved up so far and hope it continues for you.

Dear James, I love your phrase, "desponent wave" very descriptive. :) The poster was impressive, too. :) Before I began to read your book, I was prepared by your recap/pitch & prologue,which was very well done. Your story is good because you create interest by having short paragraphs & lots of dialogue, which makes me want to keep reading to find out what's going to happen next. I'm "commenting & backing" your book to help it advance - this will help yours & mine move up on the charts. :) Could you please return the favor by taking a moment to "comment & back" my TWO memoir books, "He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not" & my completed memoir unedited version? "Tell Me True Love Stories," which tells at the end my illness now & 6th abusive marraiage." Thanks, Susie :)
p.s. Remember: Every "comment" & "backing" you do moves your book & the other person's book closer to the top. :)

Hi, James -

I agree with other reviewers in that your book is beautifully written.

In fact, my only criticism is directed at your pitch - it's killing you.

A pitch isn't supposed to be a book report on your ms, nor is it meant to be some vaguely written blurb that has meaning only to the writer.

It's first and foremost a sales document, written to entice the reader (and lit agents, too) to invest their time - and hopefully money - in your writing.

Think of it as the copy on the back cover of a book.

Figure you have around 300 words to hook that potential reader.

That's what your first paragraph should be, a hook: who is your mc? What is it they want or need to accomplish? What obstacles turn up in their way? What's the penalty for failure?

Second paragraph should be a brief synopsis of your book, covering only the main plot points faced by your mc. Then, end it on a will they/won't they succeed kind of cliffhanger.

Remember, you're selling the sizzle here. Leave it to the formal synopsis to tell the nuts and bolts of your story.

Look, you're a damn good writer. But without a decent and compelling pitch, you could have a tough time getting people to read your work.

Backed, happily.

Now, go tackle your pitch.

And if you get moment, please take a look at my book. (The pitch for it isn't hlf bad)

Best of luck here.

And, thanks.

-Jeff Lee
THE LADIES TEMPERANCE CLUB'S FAREWELL TOUR

An unusual theme. the terse writing style is attractive and serves well. I enjoy the moments of irony and occasional statements of wisdom. Backed.

Rosalind
Good For Him

I'm not seeing the problem you discussed in the forum, James. I think you carry it off very well. Flows well, descriptions are good, nice writing. Seems to be developing well. Worth backing I think.

groaner.

A MAN IN GREY SHOES:

James,

An intriguing title for a novel that is both entrancing to read because it covers a satirical story rich in what feels like a very important historical period to me, but also because of the beautiful prose. Such wonderful imagery and a poetic flow that stems from a feel for the language that is a rare talent. That you also weave in a thread of humour is indeed no mean feat, and I wish you all the best with this one.

Backed with great pleasure.

Sheila Mary Taylor (Pinpoint)

Not much given away in the pitch but an interesting tale of new fronties and settlements.I like the way you told the story of th bell and the arguments that came from the comitees as they always do. This is niecely written and has a comfortable feel about it. Not sure about Lemon Soup though. But Weverley sounds an interesting place to stay.
Sue Mackender - Knowing Liam Riley

Lovely writing and great concept. I like how the town itself becomes a character and how you have instances of dry humor buried in your sentences -- like a woman in childbirth for years. ha. Backed.

Dana L.
The Book of Lucas
The Art of Provenance

Hi, I've been fascinated by this account, especially so as I have approached the aftermath of a civil war from a different perspective. Backed. Kop- The Lucky Bean Tree.

Wow, this is a beautifully written book! Weverley is such an intersting town, is it real? I loved the feeling that as I was reading this, I was reading something written years ago, it's got that timeless feel to it. The characters and the setting really make this something special. Well done, I thoroughly enjoyed this. Best of luck with it.

Missy
Mark of Eternity

It is treat to find that somebody has put work into making this a sealess and pleasant read.
It is with pleasure that I put this on the bookshelf

This is a clever story. Like the way you describe characters. My mother was an "always" person so that one particularly caught my eye. Most of all I like the way that this is not a simple story. It's a lesson in prejuduce and discrimination along with being a good read. Burgio (Grain of Salt).

Backed.

shah

I really enjoyed these stories, they have a period charm to them that is most appealing. The GCC made me smile, but most of all, i want the recipe for lemon soup.
Backed with great pleasure.

Hi - I really enjoyed this - nice provocative descriptions - fireflies danced under an absent moon - very nice.
The train of wagons forming like rivulets of water. It has a real, smokey feel to it. Backed! I think this book will do well. Best wishes, Barry
(Little Krisna and the Bihar Boys)

The premise is strong; the pace is steady and characterizations compelling
I really like the plot and the writing is good
You have a flair for building tension that explodes off the page, and the action propels the story forward
I hope to see it published
Best wishes
Scott
The Esrevinu Chronicles/Secrets of the Elephant Rocks

Backed January 17.

Jesse - Savant

http://www.authonomy.com/ViewBook.aspx?bookid=14062

Nice deadpan humour, tight writing, perfect dialogue. Would I buy it? Yes, oh yes. Something to relax with.
Shelved
Frank

Reminds me of Steinbeck's Grapes of Wrath and a little of Twain. Great writng by this author and ripping story. It's backed

I really like the writing. I like how you used the well-known term "color blindness" to mean something else entirely. The world would be much simpler if we were all color blind. I jumped around a bit, but will return to read more. Great job! Best of luck!

Amanda
Busch Lane

I tried to read some more of your book but there was an error- until later - gooodluck!

Why is this going down the charts instead of up?

This is writing at its best, you pull the readers with you along the journey.

Great hooks at the end of the chapters holds the interest fo readers making them want more.

Good luck with it.

Melx
(UNICORN)

I like your jabby wiriting style. It's quick and the wit is good too. I would read this book. Good luck.
Mark
Another Day in Paradise

Why is this going down the charts? It's well written and exudes quality.
Please Read!!!!
Backed

I love the simple yet effective brevity of your pitches. This is a book that deserves a wide audience for the quality of the writing and for the importance of the message that it contains. Very professional writing, every comma in exactly the right place, and I loved the beautiful simplicity of your phrasing. You make it all look so easy when in fact the seamless quality of your story is testament to a great deal of hard work.
I found great joy here, humour of a rare quality and an exquisite sense of pace. There's no unseemly rushing along in the early chapters. you let the story develop at its own pace, and the book is all the better for that.
Excellent, on my shelf for a spell.
Jared.

James, I can see this scene so much more clearly now you've edited out all the backstory and made it so immediate that the reader is pulled along at Jack's side.
I feel a bit cruel saying that you may want to look at the early paras. again later- when you've let it lie, just to round out some sentences for ease of reading.
'smouldering, deserted houses' that sentence ends oddly.
Weverleys(')
Evocative, well-paced, wellphrased - well done.

If I re-shelve it, it won't do anything to your ranking, but may give a bit more exposure.

Julia

Hi James, beautifully written piece, the prologue was incredibly visual, I could almost taste the dust clouding in the wake of the wagons.
Paul.