The Shadpor Saga

Hi Ky,
As I mentioned to you already I'm horribly at editing so won't even try with this. I find the storyline very intriguing and it's one I can read with interest. I like the short crisp dialog too and the characters are fascinating. Shelved and well done.
Eric
(The King, Father & Mother - Trinity Truth Revelation)

I don't think I have seen this approach before. A future excavation revealing the past and the back story, this is clever and it works for me. On my shelf. Patrick Barrett (Shakespeares Cuthbert)

Hello K,
I'm not sure if you are still 'on site' as it were, looking for comments. I've read all of your uploaded book and if you like, could suggest a couple of things. Let me know if you are interested. WL for now,
Scott.

Ky,
I like this idea you are working on. It's different from your other ideas, which were kind of funny/quirky. This is a intriguing, solemn, scary story, or else it sounds like it is going to be. Very original. I vote that you keep working on it!
Jeff

I think this is an interesting world, here, and though I don't normally like journal entries right at the start, these certainly caught my attention. I was puzzled, though, by 'Claire is horribly misshapen.' How? She's dark & 'rarely makes a noise'? And what does 'the mushrooms parched her skin while in my womb' mean? Dark haired with fair skin? I realise you may be using the 'unreliable narrator' technique, but I couldn't connect 'misshapen' with being dark, unlike her fair-haired? skinned? parents.
At the start of Ch 2, check the grammar in this sentence: 'Though shrivelled by age, his voice and his eyes commanded the power that was due his seat'. Technically, 'his voice and eyes' are subject, so they're shrivelled by age- I think you mean 'he', so insert 'he' as subject of the sentence & work the rest in later.
I found I was getting a bit lost in chapter 2, sorry. 'Shadpor' reminds me of India, so, quite an exotic feel. I'd like to come back to this later, so I'll watchlist this.