Book Jacket

 

rank  Editors Pick
word count 31563
date submitted 05.01.2009
date updated 16.12.2011
genres: Young Adult, Non-fiction, Harper Tr...
classification: universal
incomplete

A Boy Called George

Sue Edwards

Claire is just sixteen. Life is not such a bed of roses when she discovers that her beautiful bundle of joy is born disabled.

 

Young Claire is told by doctors to take her baby home and enjoy him. Believing the worst, she spends every hour of the day in her room not wanting to share him. Three weeks later, when he is diagnosed with Cerebral Palsy, Claire feels a strange sense of relief as she realises that the condition is not life threatening. It is not until the tags which officially classify him as 'disabled' are attached, that she finally realises the full implications. Claire's three-year-old brother, Ronnie is determined to teach George everything he knows.

A true story which I hope I have managed to do some justice.

Recent edit of chapter one. Hope all iffy areas have been sorted out. Let me know if you find any other dodgy bits please.

 
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tags

courage, inspirational, lost medical records, love, medical negligence, strength

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Chapters

1

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TAKE HIM HOME AND ENJOY HIM

 

 

‘Take him home and enjoy him.’
 
The words echoed through the hospital corridor, bouncing off the walls hitting me hard and fast like a squash ball.

I wanted to scream.

Where did I go wrong?

I packed up smoking as soon as the blue line appeared on the test kit I’d bought on my way to school that morning. I reached into the bottom of my bag, fished out the squashed packet of Silk Cut, lit one, took a long drag and promised the baby and myself it would be my last. Mum was standing at the kitchen sink, peeling potatoes when I got home that afternoon. I walked over and put my head on her shoulder. She turned her head and kissed me.

‘Mum—I’m pregnant.’ To my surprise, there was no shouting, no hysterics, and no lecture, just a look of concern and possibly exhaustion followed by;

‘Oh, Claire!’

While Coke bottles laced with vodka, scotch or anything alcoholic were being sipped at the end of term disco, I clutched a bottle of mineral water feeling just as woozy. I was already throwing up at regular intervals and had no trouble convincing my friends that my water bottle had contained vodka and lemonade.

George I called him.

Gorgeous George. Born 9th February 1996

The date made history. I was familiar with the phrase: He came into the world with a bang. For George, it was true. Canary Wharf was bombed forty minutes before my little man made his difficult journey into the world.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

MAY 1996

 

I’d been asked all the usual questions at George’s routine six-week check-up, but a few weeks later, I was back in the surgery answering the same questions all over again.

‘Is he smiling?’

‘Was it a normal delivery?’

If the doctor considered being strangled on his way out normal, then yes, it was a normal delivery, but somehow it didn’t seem normal to me.

‘Is he feeding okay?’A question mark was placed beside that one. He was still very slow, sometimes taking a couple of hours, rolling the teat—chewing rather than sucking.

‘Any major concerns?’

‘Yes—No—Oh—I don’t know. I’m not sure.’

Say it, just say it! 

‘I think there’s something wrong with him. His head is still really wobbly.’

‘Okay, let’s take a look.’

I undressed him down to his nappy and laid him on the couch. He wasn’t our usual GP but a supply doctor, who happened to be a paediatrician. I sensed something wasn’t right when he held George’s hands and pulled. His expression changed. He looked puzzled.

‘Hmm. I think to be on the safe-side, I’m going to refer him to a consultant paediatrician at Guys. I don’t think there’s any major cause for concern, but I’m not entirely happy with his head control.’

No major cause for concern’. Then why—just two hours later—was a health visitor knocking on our door?

It didn’t sink in right away. She was a cheerful African lady with a thick accent, whose words came out in one melodic sentence.

‘Hello, Claire. We-ava-bed-for Jodge.’

‘A bed?’

I knew her. She lived upstairs to Nan with her two boys. One of them had shimmied down the drainpipe into Nan’s back garden one day. He held a piece of cardboard up at the window: HELP I AM BEING HELD PRISONER. It’s a wonder he didn’t fall and break his neck. Nan told him she’d break it for him if she caught him in her garden again.

For a split second, I thought she was trying to sell me a cot. George’s cot cost almost £300. He didn’t need a bed. Did she think we were poor or something?

‘Did you say you had a bed for George? Are you sure you’ve come to the right house?’ I asked.

‘We-ava-bed-for-Jodge.’ What did she mean?

She handed me the fax message. I skim-read it. 6.30pm, Ronnie McKeith ward. Change of clothing, nappies etc.

Panic set in.

It was serious!

No one gets an appointment the same day. Let alone admitted the same night.

Oh God! Whatever’s wrong with him?

Mum! Where’s Mum? A few minutes later Mum walked through the door with Ronnie and Alex, my youngest brother and sister.

‘Calm down, Claire.’ She said ushering Ronnie and Alex into the living room. She turned on the TV and sat them down. ‘Listen, kids. I’ll make you some sandwiches and a drink in a little while, okay? I just need to talk to Claire for a minute.’

I watched her face as she read the fax message. She took a deep breath, trying not to look worried, but I could tell she was. My heart started beating really fast as if it was going to pop right out of my chest. If Mum was worried—

‘Okay—’ she said, taking full control. ‘Let me just sort the kids out, then you go up and get yourself ready. I’ll give George a bath. Don’t worry, I’ll sort him out.’

‘Will you come with me?’

‘Course I will! I’ll call Dad, tell him what’s happened; tell him to bring the kids some dinner in with him.’

I was a mess.

I bent down to get my sports bag from under the bed and went dizzy. Thought I was going to faint. For a few minutes, I walked round in circles. Didn’t know what the hell I was doing, opening and closing wardrobe doors. Fishing around in drawers, not having a clue what I was looking for. I sat on the edge of the bed clutching my head to stop it from spinning. My body shook, dry-sobbing. No tears.

Right...Think...

Babygros...vests... nappies.

I took a deep breath, opened the drawer, reached in and found what I was looking for.

Mum was talking to Dad at the bottom of the stairs.

‘Why? What’s wrong?’ I heard him ask.

‘Tests. That’s all it said. Doctor said he’d arrange an appointment, and then she came round with this.’

‘Bloody hell! What do you reckon it is?’

I didn’t hear Mum’s answer. It was drowned out by my little sister, Alex, stomping up the stairs. She threw her arms around me, sobbing.

‘Hey! What’s up, babe?’

‘Nothing.’

‘What are you crying for?’

‘I—I don’t want George to go to hospital,’ she said, hardly able to take a breath.

I grabbed a tissue from the dressing table and wiped her eyes.

‘No. Nor do I, babe, but they’re gonna make him better. They made your teeth better, didn’t they?’

She nodded and looked up at me with her huge hazel eyes.

‘But there’s nothing wrong with George. He hasn’t even got any teeth.’

‘No. But he’s got a stiff neck. Please don’t get upset, ‘cos you’ll make me upset, okay?’

She nodded and sniffed. ‘Can I give him a cuddle before he goes?’

I tickled her, forcing her to laugh. ‘Course you can, you soppy sausage! You gotta sit on the settee, though. Go downstairs and tell Dad I said you can hold him.’

Alex was only seven, but she was a real worry-guts. I imagined what was going through her mind...

Granddad— He went into hospital...

‘Claire—shall I put his coat on?’ Mum called up.

‘Yeah, I’m ready. Just gotta brush my teeth.’

As we walked through the door of the children’s ward, my belly somersaulted.  I felt sick. I hate hospitals.

Our heels clomped down the corridor causing a nurse to crane her head around the nurses’ station.

Duh-duh-dudud-duh.

‘Ah, this must be our George,’ the nurse said, stroking his cheek.

I smiled nervously, trying not to stare at her freckles—bright orange ones. Even her arms looked orange. ‘We’ve been waiting for you, little man. It’s Claire, isn’t it?’

‘Yeah, that’s right.’

‘Hello, Claire. And this is?’

‘Sue. My mum.’

‘I thought so. You really look alike. Hi, Sue. I’m Sandy, if you’d like to follow me?’ She led us to an empty cot, lowering one side. ‘If you could get George settled, then I’ll come back in a little while and get you to answer a few questions, if that’s okay?’

‘Okay, that’s fine.’

‘There are no set visiting hours on the children’s wards, so feel free to come and go as you please, but if you could just let us know when you’re going home for the night...’

‘I’m not leaving him!’

‘No! That’s absolutely fine. We’ll get a bed made up for you. I’ll be back in a little while. Give me a shout if you need anything.’

‘Okay, thanks. Do you know how long they’re going to keep him?’

‘A few days, I would imagine, but the doctors will be able to tell you more in the morning.’

I looked at Mum, she looked at me. I was scared; she tried not to be.

A little while later, Sandy came back. She put wrist and ankle-bands on George and a wrist band on me. Mother of...

After Sandy had finished with all the questions, Mum gave me a hug and left. She promised to be back as soon as she’d got the kids off to school in the morning.

It was just gone ten when she left. Most of the kids were asleep and it felt creepy on the ward. A night-light shone above each cot, but the ceiling-lights were switched off. Apart from medical equipment that beeped every so often and the clock ticking, it was eerily silent and quite chilly. I crept over and stared out of the window. It was dark outside, but from where I was standing, London was still buzzing with life. Tower Bridge and St Paul’s looked as if it was bathed in sunlight. I saw people walking in all directions; all of a sudden I wished I was one of them. It felt like I was prison. The people outside were free to do as they pleased, but I couldn’t.

I had a baby and I had to be responsible.

I don’t know what made me turn around, but I did. The little girl in the cot next to the nurses’ station was shaking violently. I ran over to her. There was foam coming from her mouth; I thought she was choking. I didn’t want to leave her, but there were no nurses around, so I ran down the corridor, checking the side-wards. Sandy and the ward Sister were attending to a sick child, changing the drip. He or she looked really ill with tubes coming from everywhere.

‘Scuse me—Sorry to interrupt but I think this little girl is having a fit or something.’ I pointed in the direction of the ward.

‘Oh, that’ll be Lucy. Could you take a look, Sandy, while I finish up here?’ the Sister asked, connecting another tube.

Sandy followed me back to the little girl in the cot. It was horrible to watch, but I couldn’t pull myself away. Her eyes were rolling up in her head. She looked like she’d swallowed Fairy Liquid with all the bubbles coming from her mouth. The nurse pressed a few buttons on the drip machine, increasing the dosage. It took a few minutes but gradually the little girl quietened.

‘Is that my Lucy causing trouble again?’ A chubby woman with a happy smile came over, lifted the little girls hand and kissed it. ‘What are we going to do with you?’ I smiled and walked back over to George. I didn’t want her to think I was being nosey. I wondered how she had the courage to look so cheerful considering how ill her little girl was. A little while later she came over.

‘Hello, love.’

‘Hello.’

She peered into George’s cot and stroked his hand. ‘Oh, bless. He’s so dinky. How old is he?’

‘Ten weeks,’ I replied, smiling proudly.

‘It seems ages since Lucy was that small. By the way, thanks for earlier. Sandy said you went and fetched her.’

‘She scared the life out of me. I’ve never seen anyone have a fit before. I thought she was choking at first.’

‘I’m used to it now. She used to have one after another. They’re keeping her sedated now, until they can operate. It’s her only chance of leading a normal life. They say it’s risky, but what life has she got now?’

‘I hope she’ll be okay.’

Poor woman had been there for nineteen-weeks. She lived in Bournemouth and spent all week in London, with Lucy, only going home to her other kids and husband at weekends. She introduced herself as Margaret.

The nurses were busy on the ward that night there seemed to be some kind of emergency with a little boy that had been admitted in the cot opposite. A team of doctors were with him for what seemed like hours.  Sandy must have forgotten about my bed so I pulled up another armchair and dozed off here and there with my feet up.

With each new day, came more tests. I was sure there couldn’t be many more. The amount of bodily fluids they’d taken from him; wee, blood and spinal fluid, I was surprised he had any left. X-Rays, MRI, EEG. But finally, we were free to go home with an appointment in three-weeks.

‘Take him home and enjoy him,’ the doctor said. My body went numb. I could have done with a stiff drink to numb my mind that was racing with all manner of things, but I was breastfeeding, or trying to. He still found the bottle easier. I wanted to ask what they thought was wrong, but the words wouldn’t come. Besides, guessing wasn't going to help. The test results would take three weeks. If I took him home, loved him, looked after him – he might get better. They could be wrong. Maybe it was nothing. Doctors don't know everything, do they?

At least it wasn’t meningitis, I knew that.

 

I took one final look at the little boy in the opposite cot. He was about eighteen months old, but it was hard to tell. He was sleeping soundly. In fact, he’d been sleeping soundly for three days, ever since he was admitted. They brought him in together, her and her long streak of piss boyfriend. They sat beside his cot all night, crying, as if they cared. I guess the only thing he cared about, was that he might get banged up for it. Lock him up and throw away the key. That’s what I say. There was a photo of the little boy on the shelf above his cot, looking all chubby and lovely, as if by a miracle, he would look down and wake himself up and everything would be okay.

But it wouldn’t.

He would never be the same again.

That’s what happens when you are a little baby. Your body can’t cope with being shaken so hard that your brain bounces around inside your skull. Maybe if she’d got him there sooner, they might have saved his sight, stopped the brain haemorrhage. I only knew what had happened when the police came and took the long streak away. News like that travels fast around a hospital. I blamed her too. I felt like punching her face in to be honest. She’d have probably made mince meat of me, though, the size of her.

Bastards.

‘Take him home and enjoy him.’

I will never forget those words; I still have nightmares, even now.
 
George was eleven weeks old and I had to wait three weeks for the tests to come back. I didn’t know if I could wait that long. I spent most of that time wondering if it was something I did, or whether there was anything I could have done to prevent whatever it was that was wrong with him. I spent most of the following three weeks shut in my bedroom. I couldn’t face anyone. If I shared him, the time would go too quick and I would be nearer to losing him. No one knew what was wrong. They mentioned cytomegalovirus, but I didn’t dare wonder what that meant. Mum had been looking it up.  I went downstairs to make a sandwich, that’s when I saw the pile of books on the kitchen table; she’d been to the library.

The Brain Damaged Child - The Truth about Brain Damage

What the hell is she reading this crap for?

He’s got a stiff neck! He’s not brain damaged! For God’s sake, what’s wrong with you, Mother? 

I made a sandwich and went straight back upstairs; there was no one at home. Probably down the library again looking up some more rubbish. It wasn’t like me. I loved my family, but I didn’t want to talk to anyone about George. He was my little soldier. I played with him, made him smile and checked every now and then for signs of improvement. Well—I did that every time I fed him or changed his nappy. I pushed my thumbs gently into his palms, held his hands between my fingertips and pulled slightly, the way the doctor had, just to see if he was strong enough to lift his head.

Nothing.

His head was still lolling.

‘Maybe tomorrow, George, eh baby?’ I kissed him and laid him back in his cot while I ate my sandwich. For a while I just stared at him, then I picked up his rattle and shook it, but he stared at the wall. If I made eye contact, he recognised me and smiled his sweet smile, but most of the time he stared at the wall as if he was in his own little world. It scared me. I snatched him up and cuddled him, made him look at me. I didn’t want him to drift off and not come back. I found myself making up silly songs and singing them to him when no one was around. My Granddad used to do that with us lot. I remember him pacing the floor rocking my sisters, sometimes for hours when they weren’t well or teething. His voice gradually getting quieter and quieter until he’d rocked them to sleep.

I wish he was here now.
 
I was sitting with my knees bent, my back against the headboard with George in front of me, singing another one of my silly songs, stroking his little pink cheeks, his bright blue eyes staring back at me when suddenly I felt a minor explosion.

‘Phwaor! George, you pong!’

So I made up another one while I changed his nappy.

 

Dinky Dinky Doo,

Georgie’s done a poo,

In his na-ppy, what are we going to do.

 

I don’t know if it was the silly face I was pulling or the silly song, but it made him laugh and became our regular nappy changing song. Sometimes the songs were so soppy they made my eyes water.

 

 

 

 

Chapters

1

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HarperCollins Wrote

It was a pleasure to review your manuscript for authonomy – congratulations on reaching the Editor’s Desk.

This is a very difficult and emotive subject to tackle, and obviously something that is very close to your heart personally, so I think it’s great that you’ve taken the brave step to write about this. I found your account had a great immediacy to it – it was really emotional and at times difficult to read. The beginning in particular was very punchy and pacey, and I felt the tension and suspense was built up brilliantly. You have brilliant turn of phrase – I thought your imagery in the ‘D Day’ chapter, in particular, was very striking and intense. In the first half of the book, it’s clear you have worked hard to really capture your sense of isolation and inability to comprehend the situation – I think the vulnerability of this works well and really helps the reader relate to you.

However, having said that, I think there are places where you need to be careful with your word choice, to ensure you do not lose reader sympathy. The tiniest change can really alter the tone, and therefore readers’ understanding of your narrative. Your anger and frustration is obviously an important element of your narrative, but you need to be careful that the readers’ understanding of this is not at the expense of their sympathy. I also think the short snappy sentences that work so brilliantly to build up tension and suspense early in your manuscript become difficult to keep reading later on, so maybe you should look at varying these through the manuscript to maintain reader interest and make maximum dramatic use of them at times when they are needed.

At the moment your manuscript would be perhaps a little short for publication – we would be looking for between 80,000 and 90,000 words for a full book – but I feel confident there is a lot you could expand on. You have the foundations of a very moving and dramatic memoir and I think that with some more work on your word choice and sentence structure, and further development of the story you will have a really great book. I’m thrilled to have had the chance to review your manuscript and I’d like to wish you all the best with your writing in the future.

LittleDevil wrote 684 days ago

A tough and touching account of a very special family. A moving read, I would recommend it to anyone. George is a real star and a credit to his loving mum. I really don't know if I could have coped as well.

Good luck!

S



This is extra sweet coming from one of George's teachers! Thank you. Not sure which one you are, but it was nice of you to comment.

S. A. Hunt wrote 1004 days ago

The first paragraph, "Take him home and enjoy him", grabbed me by the neck and slapped me. That's talent.

This is a work of art. They say that a story that can go on for so long without quotation marks should be reconsidered, but here you present the reader with an inner watercolor that defies constant dialogue. The dialogue seems to be mostly from the protagonist to the reader, and you didn't even really break the fourth wall. This is First Person Writing at its finest, folks.

It started to feel a little unhinged, mentally, but then even that felt justified to me: I felt like I was right there with the new mother. I felt the panic and the despair and perhaps the creeping joy and triumph, and that's what real writing is about. REAL, quantifiable, tangible telepathy. Maybe if I were in the same predicament, I might come apart at the seams a bit too.

I can't find a single damn thing in this I'd change. The style is impeccable. No doubt an editor would eat you alive as they do anybody, but as for me, I'm overwhelmed.

Person in Charge, if you're listening, give this one a serious read.

AudreyB wrote 63 days ago

Hi, there Little Devil – I will probably just say nice things about your book, so I’ll let The Hag do all the work.

I think you need more of a break, and perhaps even a date header, after “Where did I go wrong.”

“…coke bottles were being sipped…” There’s no compelling reason for the passivity here. “While my classmates sipped…” would be much stronger.

“Calm down, Claire,” she said…” You have ‘she’ capitalized and it should be lc.

You use lots of slang and language that is unfamiliar to me (as an American), but in a good way. It gives strength to your voice.

I know you’re recounting facts here, but the introduction of Margaret heightened my concern for wee George considerably. If this were fiction, I’d say, “Well done!”

“The nurses were busy on the ward that night…” You need a period after night and then need to start the next sentence with a capital.

“The street door slammed..” “little brother stomping…” Stomping should be stomped so that it’s parallel with the word slammed.

“..at the same time as my heart…” Take out that ‘as.’

“Take him to Blackheath—Play football with him.” No capital needed in the word play.

Top of ch. 7: “George being the way he was, seemed…” You should add a comma after George. Or take out the one after was. But not both.

“He said, ‘what you gonna do…” What should be capitalized.

“After three days in the hospital, I had my little brother back.” This is a dangling modifier. Your brother is the one in the hospital, so the noun or pronoun after the comma should be ‘my little brother.’ So you could say, “After three days in the hospital, my little brother came back.” “After three long days, I had my little brother back from the hospital.” Also works.

Should we capitalize lord muck? He sounds important.

Top of chapter 9…”Claire,” Ronnie yelled. You’ve got a capital on Yelled that should be a lc.

Uncle Mick gives one of HIS bone crushing hugs. Not he’s.

(You realize some of those outdoor weddings are officiated by members of the clergy, right?)

OK, I’ve sent The Grammar Hag packing. I love the way you portray your loving and funny family, especially the youngest boy. But I imagine many readers will, like me, feel that the greatest tragedy here is not George’s cerebral palsy but the fact that you face so much alone. I read to the end of Chapter 10 and really wanted to see the dad more involved. It makes me very sad that he doesn’t appear more. On the other hand, your parents and siblings are a true joy.

~AudreyB
Forgiveness Fits

D. S. Hale wrote 69 days ago

I like your story. It's very good and holds the reader's attention. You can't help yourself, but to keep reading.
I see that it went to the editor's desk. I don't know where to go to get their take on it. Could you direct me to the right page? Thanks, and good luck on getting this published!

Sincerely, D. S. Hale

LittleDevil wrote 72 days ago

Hi Sue,
I've just read the next few chapters of A Boy Called George, and you've had me in tears now. I feel like I'm getting to know George, you, Ronnie and Carly. It's funny, I'd always struggled a bit with DLA - some parents seem desperate to get as much as they can, others seem strangely ambivalent - I think you've captured so well what the dilemma is - it's an acknowledgement that something is wrong. If you ever do get this published, let me know - its the sort of book paediatricians ought to read so they can get some insight into what's going on beyond the hospital ward or clinic room.
A couple of suggestions: 'How it all began' isn't the best title for chapter one - you need something more gripping and unique. How about using your first line as the chapter title?
I think you ought to introduce Ronnie and Carly a little earlier and together, so readers get to know the family structure. With both, when you introduced them, it took me a while to adjust to who you were talking about. I've been thinking the same for my book, where Joe's sister Esther doesn't appear until half way through.
Your last sentence in chapter 8 - I just wish they weren't taking him to Guys, is a bit ambiguous and probably the wrong tense.

I don't know if you come onto it later, but I wonder whether it's worth, at some point, reflecting back on the pregnancy? What's it like being a pregnant teenager? What were others' reactions? What were your feelings about the pregancy at the time, and looking back after George had his diagnosis?
Peter

cooee wrote 119 days ago

I know you're not looking for comments on this, but I was about to read the other one up when I came across the blurb for this and found myself reading a few chapters. What an emotional topic and I think you handle well what I read. I just read the Hapers review after, well done and good luck this.

Sheloveswords wrote 318 days ago

When my son was three days old, I went through basically the same thing. And I was also a teenage mom. That's still a part of my life (his first year) that I just can't write about. Just trying to enjoy him, but those ever present dirty words Cerebral Palsy always blurring the edges of happy moments. My other babies, I never rushed. I never wanted them to get bigger just stay little. But him, it was always like "hurry up and crawl" "hurry up and sit" "hurry up and walk" "prove them wrong." I found reading your story so deeply moving and also healing. You took the words out of my mouth.

name falied moderation wrote 523 days ago

Dear Sue
just loved this. I see I am a little late, but who cares. this is an amazing book
I wont say anything else as I see it has all been said

Denise
The Letter

SusieGulick wrote 524 days ago

Dear Sue, I just read & backed your other book, now am backing this one. :) I had no idea what Ceberal Palsy was, either, so your book was most informative. :) Thank you. :) Maybe you could write another book to show how George is doing, now. :) And Junior? :) I wrote my story, too, & hope you'll back it. :) Thanks. :) Love, Susie :)

captin wow wrote 655 days ago

yup that kids name is definitely george..... but seriously this booooooooook rocks!!!!!

JASmith wrote 679 days ago

So I've finally finished reading A Boy Called George. This story is really good, insightful and interesting. Will there be more?


There are a few minor grammatical mistakes, I hope you don't mind me pointing them out:

General:
Though whitespace is good for the eyes, you have too much. It's difficult to define between new lines (e.g. for dialogue) or new paragraphs.

CH 5:
I snapped, getting my point across - I thought the tag after said was unnecessary and could be cut.

CH 6:
George, kick (i)t

in-case you have grounds to sue - 2 words, no hyphen
little brother(')s arms

CH 8:
little (m)an
Waltons' - transpose apostrophe
'Goodnight love yous(')
asked, purposely changing the subject - again, I think this extra bit after asked is unneccessary as it's obvious by her question that she's changing the subject. Maybe you could start another sentence saying 'I didn't want to talk about it anymore.' if you really need to but I don't think you do.

CH 9:
Sorry (d)ear

JASmith

sean_hornby wrote 681 days ago

A touching read. I felt some tiny parallels with my own read. I'll make sure I read plenty more of it asap.
Backed.
Sean
Spirits and Demons

LittleDevil wrote 684 days ago

A tough and touching account of a very special family. A moving read, I would recommend it to anyone. George is a real star and a credit to his loving mum. I really don't know if I could have coped as well.

Good luck!

S



This is extra sweet coming from one of George's teachers! Thank you. Not sure which one you are, but it was nice of you to comment.

SamNikki wrote 684 days ago

A tough and touching account of a very special family. A moving read, I would recommend it to anyone. George is a real star and a credit to his loving mum. I really don't know if I could have coped as well.

Good luck!

S

JASmith wrote 685 days ago

Ch 5.
This is a really enjoyable read and one that I can kind of relate to, given that I have Cerebral Palsy. There's a sweet innocence about Claire that I really like.

One line that I really like is this one:
It's okay, it's not catching.

- I found this funny, but true. So many people have this misconception.

Some things to Consider:

White space is good for the eyes but at times, it seems as though you have too much, particularly between new lines of dialogue.

There are also a few punctuation errors every now and then but nothing that can't be fixed without a quick edit.

Apart from that, it's good.

JASmith

G P Morgan wrote 695 days ago

I liked the narrator's voice from the beginning and even her harsh words seemed out of jealousy. I suppose the plot as is, will deal with George's and the narrator's growing up and I think the episodic way you reveal the development of George works well. Look forward to the rest. BACKED

All the Best GP Morgan (Barrio Chino)

Diane60 wrote 695 days ago

Sue what can i say? I think this is a very intense real life account. There can't be any crits because it is real. Read all you posted and it was gentle to get into the story and characters. The dialougue is very realistic love Ronnie. And I can even picture Grandad. Not a story i would normally have read but am glad I did. Thanks for asking me to read your book.

Diane

Diane60 wrote 695 days ago

Sue what can i say? I think this is a very intense real life account. There can't be any crits because it is real. Read all you posted and it was gentle to get into the story and characters. The dialougue is very realistic love Ronnie. And I can even picture Grandad. Not a story i would normally have read but am glad I did. Thanks for asking me to read your book.

Diane

Diane60 wrote 695 days ago

Sue what can i say? I think this is a very intense real life account. There can't be any crits because it is real. Read all you posted and it was gentle to get into the story and characters. The dialougue is very realistic love Ronnie. And I can even picture Grandad. Not a story i would normally have read but am glad I did. Thanks for asking me to read your book.

Diane

Luk7 wrote 697 days ago

Hello Sue, I backed your book awhile back and I think since then it has been reviewed by HC, just wondered if other readers here get to see that review? (and if so how you find it?)

Cheers
Luk

AutismAuntie wrote 698 days ago

When I read the pitch I was immediately drawn in. It's brillant. It drives me in because the baby is disabled and the heart if the story is sweet. You have my attention! Best of luck with it- but you don't need luck, it'll do just fine.

BACKED

Mandi Gordon
Broken

PSKITTY wrote 699 days ago

This is a beautifully written story, so full of love and oathos, so moving, I'm sure it will be a big hit. Thank you so much for sharing this with us and all the best in your writing career.

Hugs,
Kitty

Ditzydana wrote 704 days ago

My little sister just had her first baby and even though he came out healthy, I couldn't help but think of him when I read the story. It's a very good read...good luck on getting it published hun.

juliek22 wrote 705 days ago

First off, congratulations on reaching the ED. That's an accomplishment for sure.
For the type of story this is, I was surprised not to be drawn to is. Normally stories about the growth and development of disabled people snag my interest. I've thought about it and I think it may be the detached way the narrator (mother) talks about the situation. In this case we're getting more of the story and less of the personal growth of both mother and child. I also found some of it difficult to follow. I think this may be because it jumps forward in huge leaps without, in most cases, a transitory paragraph or sentence. Despite what I say, however, I do believe this story has the potential to be absolutely beautiful. If we were able to see more of the caring and compassion that the mother obviously feels for her child, rather than just glimpses here and there, I think it would be much improved. Good luck with this!
Julianne (The Consequence of Love)

Little Black Cloud in a Dress wrote 705 days ago

A great piece of work- particularly interesting for me, as I'm quadroplegic. A tough one to tackle, but you manage it without Hallmark channel sugaryness ( believe me, there's a lot of it about) and write with understated aplomb and grace. Good on you!

Richard Allen wrote 706 days ago

This is a powerful story written in a way the reader can almost share Claire's pain. No parent should have to go through what she experienced, regardless of her age. Already backed but wanted to leave you with the thoughts of a parent who experienced a similar experience many years ago. My story has a happy ending.

Beryl Ann wrote 708 days ago

Congrats! I commented and backed! Best, Beryl

Liansky wrote 708 days ago

No offence, but this book actually sucks. It's like an infant wrote it. My advice is to throw it away and stick to your day job.

JASmith wrote 709 days ago

Congratulations on your HarperCollins review.

Rachel V wrote 709 days ago

Congrats, Sue! Glad you got your golden star - hope your reviewer does you justice.
Rachel

Taylor van de Locht wrote 709 days ago

You touched my soul with this one sweetheart.

Tearful.

inzie wrote 709 days ago

congratulations and good luck

chris

Jake Akira wrote 709 days ago

Congratulations about getting to the top of the editor's desk! Best of luck!

--Jake

historyweaver wrote 710 days ago

Congratulations for making it through to the ED. Hope you get positive feedback.

SueAnn Jackson Land wrote 710 days ago

Yay!!! I just saw the news where your book was selected for review by Harper Collins! Congratulations, Sue!!!

cutley wrote 710 days ago

I haven't been so happy for years.

Charles

JenniferThorne wrote 710 days ago

CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!

Lorri wrote 710 days ago

Yayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

I told you we'd keep you there!!

Congrats!!!

Lorrii

Schott wrote 710 days ago

I am so enthralled by this story and by your writing.I found myself reading as fast as I could so I could find out what happens next. This is excellent.Thank you. It is so difficult to admit even to ourselves our fears, our misgivings and even those uncharitable thoughts. But we all have them. It is our actions that count. Backed with respect.

Roisin wrote 710 days ago

I don't do many comments, there are people better able to express themselves over other people's books. I made an exception for this extraordinary book. Powerful, raw and intimate, this is the most life-affirming book on the site and deserves to be out there on the bookshelves to inspire all families with special children. It should be available to secondary schools too, to teach the next generation the true meaning of love, fear and joy and the remarkable resiliance of the human spirit

Cataclysm wrote 710 days ago

All I can say is I'm sorry I didn't get to this sooner. You are quite good at making the reader feel what is going on and I can see why you're on the desk. Belated backing.

Iva P. wrote 710 days ago

Anguished love, urgency and unacknowledged despair grab the reader on page one. Who can resist such an emotional appeal? Backed with awe.

Iva P.
Fame and Infamy

Rosalind Barden wrote 710 days ago

Heartfelt story full of emotion. This is an amazing work. Backed!
Rosalind Barden
American Witch

Wild Iris wrote 710 days ago

What a heart-wrenching tale. Not because of the "disabled" child, but because of the heartless, selfish mother. I forced myself to read all 9 chapters in the hopes that this would be a tale of how she changed into a loving parent, giving up her superficial judgment and embracing a hardworking, differently-abled child. My heart is thumping in disgust and I have had to pause several times to express my disbelief to my husband.

The story is told from the perspective of the mother and her distain of her child. Over the course of years, she cannot budge from her "poor me" attitude. So what if the boy develops much more slowly than other children? He starts to crawl at 1 year 5 months. You should be rejoycing! He kicks a ball.... he smiles and expresses happiness. He takes two steps before his fourth birthday. When are you going to love him? He has special needs, but is not a freak. There is such a distance in the writing - maybe you should change the title to Some Boy Called George: The Neighbor's Kid. The mother is bigoted against people in wheelchairs. I am appalled.

The mother recalls taking care of her younger brother as "like having my own real-life dolly." What an unfortunate choice of words; children are NOT like dollies or pets. Perhaps if George was "normal" but fat and ugly, this book would have still been written, with the same angst splattered across these pages. At the end of chapter 7, the author should have added in all honesty: "Having George was a mistake." Instead, she blames the purchase of a PRAM. I am still reeling. If it wasn't the pram, it must have been the way the hospital delivered him. Those documents are missing; it MUST be a cover-up. Do you realize how many parents resent their children and how many parents wish they could have children? I think raising children is a privilege, whether they are conceived accidentally or on purpose. The only redeeming part of this book is that a three-year-old boy has enough love for George to help him develop. Ronnie demonstrates his own selflessness at a young age (instead of wanting toys for himself, he wants to buy a football for George) as the mother wallows in her own self-pity. Give me a break.

Jesse Hargreave wrote 710 days ago

Bravo and the best of luck,

Jesse - Savant

GAClark wrote 710 days ago

I felt the anger, the pain, the fear and the denial. My business slogan has always been "I paint pictures with words." In comparrison, you paint masterpieces. Excellent! Backed
G A Clark
Show Low

J.Adams wrote 710 days ago

I've just BACKED your book. This is a very interesting, beautifully written and poignant story. I highly and wholeheartedly recommend it. When it is in print I will buy a copy just as soon as I see it - even if I have to use the grocery money! This not only belongs on my virtual Authonomy shelf, but on our read shelf in the living room! I look forward to reading the rest when it's finished, and I wish you all the very best!
Cheers,
Judy
The Existence Game

SueAnn Jackson Land wrote 710 days ago

And the tears keep going. The mothers who read this will understand exactly what you meant by "for fuck sake, shut up, the lot of ya." It's simple -- tell me he won't die. If he still has breath in his body, I have a chance... I can fight for him. I understand that.

SueAnn Jackson Land wrote 710 days ago

I made up songs for Ben. "Benjamin Bear, born with no hair, now he has lots." I'm in tears. No fair on a Sunday morning! Don't worry about the chapter swaps, I'll read this one because I know what it is like to have a son who needs a little bit of help in this world.

It's stark and honest and the protectiveness and brashness of the mother is evident and it propels me to want to know who she is. What happened? And it also makes me want to shake the shakers of babies. Maybe if I shake hard enough their story will appear and release them from the cycle.

Amelia Underwood wrote 710 days ago

Backed. You made me cry, darn it. I don't like to cry, but I love to feel something over a book. My hat is tipped to you.

mmefford wrote 710 days ago

I felt empathy for both the child and the mother in the first chapter. It's nicely done. You feel mom's affection and concern, and even in just those few words I felt touched by the scene. That's hard do to do as a writer. The "Take him home and enjoy him" repetition had a nice effect as well--like a ticking clock. Very good.

Take care,

Mike

Tim Greaton wrote 710 days ago

Thanks so much for the read. Engrossing and emotional. Nicely done. I think the drama could be ramped up a tad, but overall the mystery and worry for George were very effective through the three chapters I read. I like that this story starts with crisis and hugs it so closely that your readers care. Good job with dialog. I did think you could have added some dimension to the family while still maintaining the fast pace, though. 'Hope the meanderings are of some help. Shelved. Best always, Tim Greaton