A Game of Two Halves?

This is a beautiful bitter/sweet story of man's greatest gift, love. I found myself in tears when the narrator spoke of his wife and child and the enduring nature of love.
As he said, if that feeling doesn't endure beyond this life, what is the point.
I don't know if this is commercial and frankly I don't give a damn, I feel enriched for having read it.

This is such a good book. Your narrative voice, Tom's voice, is absolutely brilliant. Tom is a real person, someone we can love and relate to wholly. Dave is another amazingly natural character, and easy to feel close to. Your story is a mixture of grief and humour, and it works every time. You tackle important, serious subjects head on, with no cliched attitudes or answers, and I've enjoyed every minute of my reading. You provide the sort of cliff hangers that keep us reading on, Tom's decision, the plunge from the landing, Dave's arrival, and so on. A book everyone should read and enjoy. Backed.
Gerry McCullough,
Belfast Girls.

I’ve never read a complete book in one sitting on authonomy before. I did with this one. It came relatively easily at just 40,000 words, with bite-sized chapters, but that wasn’t what kept me reading – it was the force of the story and the laconic power of the writing. I became enthralled.

My heart went straight out to the first-person narrator, who tells in a whisper-gentle Middlesbrough accent of the death of his wife and toddler son in a car accident. He ponders the Big Issues of life and death, good and evil, fate and God. ‘The mind is its own place, and can of itself make a hell of heaven, a heaven of hell,’ Milton wrote (more or less) and Tom says the same thing in a wry joke–that his idea of hell, and his mother-in-law’s idea of heaven, would be the same thing: an eternal Cliff Richard concert. This is characteristic of the pragmatic, touching humour that runs through the whole book. Tom is in suicidal despair, but he can still laugh at himself. He rails at random, meaningless suffering with a joke. He tries to make sense of what has happened with remembered quotes from philosophers to pop culture, from Epicurus (‘some Greek bloke’) to The Streets, but always in a light, logical and easily-accessible manner. He questions the dogmas of established religion, yet seeks a spiritual explanation for his pain. There are flashbacks to his life with Jenny and Oscar, his beloved lost family, which pulse with almost unbearable poignancy.

I don’t want to give the plot away. It unfolds like a butterfly from a chrysalis as we begin to suspect that the mysterious Dave might not be all he seems. Is a guardian angel, protecting Tom from himself and his death-wish? Or is he Lucifer, tempting him with drugs and porn actresses? The revelation, when it finally comes, is breathtaking.

This is a funny, light book about bewildered despair. Tom wants to die, and keeps trying to. There is …not so much black humour, as black hilarity. One example will do. In his first suicide attempt Tom attempts to hang himself with a long, hideous woollen scarf. Later Dave sends him a card with a picture of the long-scarved Tom Baker as Dr Who. ‘I saw this and thought of you,’ reads the message, and Tom laughs for the first time since the accident.

This is primarily a book about unconditional love, and it is unconditionally backed. A fine achievement.

I started reading this, and before I knew it, I was seven chapters in and about to cry. Your narrator is wonderful-- honest, articulate, brutally funny. There is so much emotion here, and a story brilliantly told. At the risk of sounding like a gushing fangirl, this is one of my favorite books on the site.

Hi Stephen
This is has a really authentic feel to it and one with a lot of heart, honesty and sadness. I loved the little details remembered and examination of the protagonist's life. Gripping stuff and really well written, it doesn't go overboard sentimentally, just right in fact. Backed.
Hope you're tip top,
JG Reynolds (Head, Heart & Trousers).

A rather bizarre book, but well done, Love the way he keeps digressing as he holds off from making the ultimate commitment.

I backed this outright because I wish to make it safe for you to be honest in commenting on mine.

Tim Chambers
Moonbeam Highway: With Apologies to Miguel de Cervantes.

hi mate. as a boro lad exiled in wales, i recognise that familiar boro attitude and voice. i blame the footy. it's the hope that kills you eh?

anyway, read 10 chapters straight off. i like the short chapter structure for the first 4, but may need to stretch or merge a few every now and then.
the music, football, movie references are all spot on but try not and overuse. prob needs an edit or two, but you'll know what and where.
really great stuff - you give a lot away with quite a removed voice
congrats. backed with pleasure. hope you can scan over mine when you have time
best
Gordon
Come on Boro!

hi mate. as a boro lad exiled in wales, i recognise that familiar boro attitude and voice. i blame the footy. it's the hope that kills you eh?

anyway, read 10 chapters straight off. i like the short chapter structure for the first 4, but may need to stretch or merge a few every now and then.
the music, football, movie references are all spot on but try not and overuse. prob needs an edit or two, but you'll know what and where.
really great stuff - you give a lot away with quite a removed voice
congrats. backed with pleasure. hope you can scan over mine when you have time
best
Gordon
Come on Boro!

A Game of Two Halves is powerful stuff. Tom seems a self-obsessed character that I found rather irritating. I was about to write a note to say so in my feedback when I realised I'd reached C8 and hadn't written anything yet. And irritating or not, I've got to find out what happens. Hmmm...I got sucked right in there, without being aware. A very useful gift for an author to possess, so I've got no choice but to back you, same as you gave me no choice but to read you! Well done.

This is a very chatty piece with a message. I read 4 chapters, I was entertained and made to think. I'm happy to back this.
BADD

This is a beautiful bitter/sweet story of man's greatest gift, love. I found myself in tears when the narrator spoke of his wife and child and the enduring nature of love.
As he said, if that feeling doesn't endure beyond this life, what is the point.
I don't know if this is commercial and frankly I don't give a damn, I feel enriched for having read it.

I like the voice right away. Engages me.

You manage to get away with using the dreaded ‘!’

Okay, you were getting away with it until the third one. Lose the second one, and the third one. But, this is really enticing me to read on, I’m already in They Think It’s All Over and I’m thinking, crap, I don’t have time to read all this, but it keeps pulling me in further...

Ok the fourth ‘!’. You can stop using them now.

Five, you can keep the fifth, it works better than numbers 2 – 4.

And the sixth, you can keep that one too. Generous aren’t I?

This is so bloody good. People like you, who write like this should not be on a frickin site like autho, you should be in a bookstore signing books.

Yeah, I mean it.

Seven and eight. Lose them.

Ok, I’m stopping here before I end up spending my entire night reading your book!!!!

There, :P

Of course, backed.

Lorrii

A brilliant pitch, and I could not wait to get reading. What could be a more important subject for a novel ... finding a reason to live (not commit suicide) when your wife and kids have been killed?
How to find some purpose, something to live for? If Tom had not seen it, I would start by advising him to watch "It's a Wonderful Life" by Frank Capra... the best anti-depressant I know... Tom is a fully formed character... he pours out his hopes and fears... and we know how he feels "deep inside."
Your book is a powerful antidote to the self-help claptrap that weighs down the bookshelves these days... it tells one human being's genuine struggle rather than talking in platitudes.
I love this book.
Frank

Stephen, terrific opening two paragraphs in the prologue. Philisophical and oh so true. In C1 you well describe a self-tormenting, overactive mind that's constantly flooded with far too many perceptions. Believe me, I know what that's like. Truman Capote once said something to the effect of -- Where most people have seven or eight perceptions a minute, I usually go through about seventeen. I liked "...a herd of geese having a mad scrap in my insides." I also like your writing and your voice Stephen, but I have a nit or two. I would eliminate some of C1 because, though it is good, parts are repetitive. I would also get into the action sooner. Backed for its potential.
Thomas J Winton
Beyond Nostalgia

This is such a good book. Your narrative voice, Tom's voice, is absolutely brilliant. Tom is a real person, someone we can love and relate to wholly. Dave is another amazingly natural character, and easy to feel close to. Your story is a mixture of grief and humour, and it works every time. You tackle important, serious subjects head on, with no cliched attitudes or answers, and I've enjoyed every minute of my reading. You provide the sort of cliff hangers that keep us reading on, Tom's decision, the plunge from the landing, Dave's arrival, and so on. A book everyone should read and enjoy. Backed.
Gerry McCullough,
Belfast Girls.

Life's a game, it's just made fun, don't need nobody, don't need no one...
FREE.

That song played through my head when reading this.
And I hope a point is found by the end, so i would be intrigued not only because of how you set the book up, but because of your fine writing.

BACKED

If life really is a game of two halves, how do we win? Absolutely fantastic. Your comparisons between life and football and the way the story evolves make this a compelling read. Funny in parts and then sad. All the luck in the world with this Stephen. It deserves to do well. Backed, Lynne, Brooklyn Bridge.

This is difficult to put down.Questions are raised and we wonder where they are leading. The prose flows along strong and fast. I love the line'Yet somehow I seemed to manage to force my flimsy white body to fling itself from that fearsome precipice towards the deep stinging icy-cold water below. The character is almost humorous in his endevours to take his life. This is definately a book I could read to the end.
Backed with certainty
Christina

Stephen - you won't believe how similar our premises are. However, we have completely different voices.

I love the blokey manner in which you approach this. (could I make one suggestion - remove the exclamation mark from the end of the second paragraph. The sentence would have more gravitas and weight without it and it would not be any less true.)

I also like the easy-going, laid back approach to philosophy. Anyway - scary that we have novels with such similar themes, however - backed. Cx

Stephen,

I come to your work be way of a recommendation from Stephen Wyatt.

Your pitch is intriguing and as an armchair philosopher (long ago I got a BA in the subject) I have to read on. Before I begin though, one observation on the pitch. I'm not sure your short version needs the closing exclamation mark. For me the statement has sufficient impact without the flamboyance of that mark. But then I'll confess an aversion to the use of exclamation marks. It's probably just me.

I always start comments by looking closely at the opening fourteen lines--roughly the first page--and asking myself, were I browsing this in a bookshop would I turn the page? Fourteen lines give me the best part of five paragraphs to look at.

The tone here is conversational and straight forward, but engaging. I'm reminded a little of Nick Hornby. I like the use of a cliche as title and as opening motif. However, I wonder about your second paragraph as it appears to compare life to football, rather ignoring the key of the cliche: The two halves element isn't explored until the third paragraph and here it is almost skipped over. Seems to me more could be made of this.

I like the closing line of the prologue though, very much. Not just what is the point, but 'how do we win?'

The first chapter continues with the same conversational style and once again finishes with a great line. This is good, easy to read, stuff. I find that I have little to offer by way of constructive critique. There's another exclamation mark in this chapter that I don't believe is required, but really that's all I have to offer.

In chapter two there is (I think a typo):

So what did I use[d] to do then?

I think 'use' is the form required here.

Love the countdown and the regression to childhood in the fractions. You know how to end an chapter, there's no doubt of that.

The pop culture references of chapter three are well judged--though I'd prefer to hear Cohen do Hallelujah himself (and I suspect that either quotation marks or italics are sufficient for the title)--and I'm reminded more and more of Nick Hornby, a favourite author of mine.

Okay, I've read five chapters. I love it. I have very little to offer by way of critique. Nothing helpful I fear. So I shall stop and back this with pleasure.

An authentic-feeling look into the life of someone who's decided their life isn't worth living. Utterly believable. Backed.

As you say in chapter 15: ‘It (this) is very touching’ – and beautifully written about an extremely sensitive subject. I’m not a therapist but you definitely ‘show’ us what Tom is going through, what he intends to do despite the words of Mr. Skinner. I won't spoil it for those who have yet to read this far. What I can say is they will not be disappointed. Your work deserves a place on my shelf and many others as well. Very well done.

I came here on Steven W’s recommendation. Glad I did. There is something very engaging about the voice of this. When I first started reading, I thought that this was going to be one of those whimsical books that leave you with a soppy smile on your face, but actually it’s a wholly more convoluted creature. There is a deceptive simplicity to this writing. I’ve just unhesitatingly consumed six chapters and would gladly follow this story to the end.

Stephen
It is said that your whole life flashes before your eyes when you are close to death, and this is what this book reminded me of, as he went back to analyse his life just as he thought about throwing himself from the bannister. With all the irony mixed in with the real good heartfelt stuff. Backed
Rosali
Fieldtrip to Mars

hi stephen , This is poetry in action, - very moving indeed. I got to ch5 a few lines down. I knew the feeling and had to stop. It's so real. How did you manage to write these things down? I admire your easy flowing writing style and the sheer honesty with which you approach the subject. It's beautiful and I shall read more. On my WL, destined for shelf.

I have just found my new favourite book on Authonomy. Shelved.

Well I read the whole thing. I think you write very well--sort of a deep emotions but with a light touch. I think your theology/philosophy is very different than mine--but your story is charming,
Backed acouple of days ago.
Barbara
The Sea Pillow

Hi Stephen - I've read the Prologue & ch 12. To be honest, I'm not sure about the former. It seems a bit wordy, as if what you're saying could be distilled into a single sentence - it may be just me, but I just wanted to get stuck in! But despite that, the warmth in your writing is apparent right from the get-go. And considering I plunged myself right into into the heart of the story, it was no efffort at all to get to the heart of the narrative and the narrator's emotional journey. You've a lovely writing style - warm and colloquial - and the depiction of your characters really benefits from this. From what I can see, you are handling difficult issues with great sensitivity. A great read and on my shelf. Angela

Stephen,
There is nothing I can say to improve this. It is excellent. A refreshing read.
Well done, and good luck.
MickR - The Nightcrawler

A package full of emotions that is written skilfully, capturing the reader and pulling at heart strings. I could not put this book down. it is unique and engaging. I wish you luck.

Shelved.

ww Lisa

A Fine Line

Stephen,

You have a great voice and writing style that’s easy and entertaining to read. You have a great title and a gripping and heart wrenching story. The reader can’t help but feel for Tom and everything he’s going through. And way you write is so simple yet complex as we’re taken through Tom’s thought processes. I breezed through to chapter seven and then had to quit because of time constraints.

Well done!

On my shelf!

Laurie – Into The Master’s Lair

Hi Stephen
This is really good. A book that makes me cry always gets my vote, not that its hard to make me cry..... I'm such a softy I cry at everything, music. adverts, movies, heck even team spirit. But its harder to do in a book, it has to really suck me in and this sooooo did that. Its a beautiful story and so heart achingly sad, oh crap I'm welling up again. I know it ultimately is a story of hope and in the end he has that, but your description of his feelings, the little touches like the bootie and the stiletto ohh it hurts. Brilliant. Backed.
The best of luck with it.
Leigh Fallon
The Carrier of the Mark

I love the concept of the novel, and you'll have a moving book with some tightening up.

I read 1, 2, and 36.

Here's some notes on ch. 36.
still-sleepy.
"Jenny, I mean."
Try to keep adjectives unbalanced - "sweet, light voice . . . strong, heavy door." Too much. Use two adjectives once, then use one -- better flow, more punch.
lose the quotes on "be after."
and on "I'd regret it"
"those beautiful eyes of earlier" doesn't flow. maybe, "the beautiful eyes were now . . . , and seemed to be having a hard time focussing . . .."
you used clearly twice in one sentence
Don't overexplain - tendency to do that a bit. "In her sorry state, I couldn't see her as a porn starlet--an object of lust. She was a little sister, a woman in need, a human." Something like that takes the place of a whole paragraph.
"weary, fatigued." repetitious

Shelved.
Stuart Phillips
High Cotton

Hi Stephen, No comment to add to the outpouring below! I also got sucked it completely. I am desperately hungry for my lunch - otherwise I'd probably end up reading the lot. Backed! Good luck with it, AnneX

Stephen,if you're going to attempt to explain the point of life, you could do no better than to do it like this; without pomposity, without long words or jargon, with humour and the ability to describe genuine feeling. Shelved.Lynn

I’ve never read a complete book in one sitting on authonomy before. I did with this one. It came relatively easily at just 40,000 words, with bite-sized chapters, but that wasn’t what kept me reading – it was the force of the story and the laconic power of the writing. I became enthralled.

My heart went straight out to the first-person narrator, who tells in a whisper-gentle Middlesbrough accent of the death of his wife and toddler son in a car accident. He ponders the Big Issues of life and death, good and evil, fate and God. ‘The mind is its own place, and can of itself make a hell of heaven, a heaven of hell,’ Milton wrote (more or less) and Tom says the same thing in a wry joke–that his idea of hell, and his mother-in-law’s idea of heaven, would be the same thing: an eternal Cliff Richard concert. This is characteristic of the pragmatic, touching humour that runs through the whole book. Tom is in suicidal despair, but he can still laugh at himself. He rails at random, meaningless suffering with a joke. He tries to make sense of what has happened with remembered quotes from philosophers to pop culture, from Epicurus (‘some Greek bloke’) to The Streets, but always in a light, logical and easily-accessible manner. He questions the dogmas of established religion, yet seeks a spiritual explanation for his pain. There are flashbacks to his life with Jenny and Oscar, his beloved lost family, which pulse with almost unbearable poignancy.

I don’t want to give the plot away. It unfolds like a butterfly from a chrysalis as we begin to suspect that the mysterious Dave might not be all he seems. Is a guardian angel, protecting Tom from himself and his death-wish? Or is he Lucifer, tempting him with drugs and porn actresses? The revelation, when it finally comes, is breathtaking.

This is a funny, light book about bewildered despair. Tom wants to die, and keeps trying to. There is …not so much black humour, as black hilarity. One example will do. In his first suicide attempt Tom attempts to hang himself with a long, hideous woollen scarf. Later Dave sends him a card with a picture of the long-scarved Tom Baker as Dr Who. ‘I saw this and thought of you,’ reads the message, and Tom laughs for the first time since the accident.

This is primarily a book about unconditional love, and it is unconditionally backed. A fine achievement.

Stephen you certainly have your own style. The way you have mixed philosophy with narrative and scene. Strong subject matter which I think you have managed quite will. At times though you are a bit heavy handed to get your point across. If you could do that with a little more subtlety I think your story would have a greater impact.

A little nit-

‘This is harder than I thought, this like." I don't understand this sentence.

Stephen
This premise really pulls at the heartstrings. And you are very brave to take on such a very weighty subject – nothing less than the meaning of life itself.
I really enjoyed your first five chapters. They are easy to read and short, keeping the proverbial page turning. Your prose has great voice and it is very accessible, and tells an addictive tale at an excellent pace. I think there is quite a bit of telling as opposed to showing though and I’d highly recommend you grab a copy of ‘Self-Editing for Fiction Writers’ by Browne & King to do the final edits that will make this even more publishable. I think writing is a game of two halves also - getting the ideas down, and then editing. Good luck!
Shelved with my best wishes
David
Green Ore

To be honest, I didn't even realise that I'd clicked the next chapter. I was just reading. And reading. And reading. You know the old, corny phrase, 'It was unputdownable;' yeah, well, it was. This is good.

Andrew

Stephen
I read 3 chapters

Prologue
I heard it said 'that' life is like a game of two halves........you dont really need 'that'..
ditto
If only the point of life was quite so obvious as 'that' of a football match. ...also do you mean 'as' obvious...

...There are quite a few instances when you use 'that' when the sentence would flow better without it......(my view only).

Cub scouts ?? Isn't it Cubs or Boy Scouts, I'm not telling, I'm asking, not sure myself but it raised a doubt in my mind......

He contemplates hanging himself, and I'm on the end of my seat, and then, obviously he doesn't ......But the next chapter goes off in a different direction and doesn't tell you how he came to decide hanging himself wasn't for him after all ?? Did I miss something....

An easy read, I was at the end of chapter 2 before I realised it.......Have you read any Doris Stokes books....She was a famous medium in the 60's her views on life & death might give you some ideas....

I enjoyed this alot....

Backed.

hey s
this really is very engaging and immediate - very 'naked' and it's not easy to take such a chance, so all power to you - the scene where he sets out to hang himself reminded me so much of the movie ruben, ruben (i think that's what it was called, where the dog actually knocks the chair over after he has decided not to go ahead with the hanging) - your comedic voice hit just the righ note in the right place and i think the short 'conclusive' sentences were particularly powerful - the jar for me was it was sometimes hard to reconcile the conversational tone of the narrator with the somehow academic tone of the cod philosophies - still, i enjoyed your writing very much.
w

I started reading this, and before I knew it, I was seven chapters in and about to cry. Your narrator is wonderful-- honest, articulate, brutally funny. There is so much emotion here, and a story brilliantly told. At the risk of sounding like a gushing fangirl, this is one of my favorite books on the site.

Hi Stephen. Almost didn't read it because of the pitch. Oh, it's a good pitch and well done I just hate the thought of the guy losing his wife and child. So sad. Anyway, glad I went ahead and read some of it. Excellent writing, by the way. Went through to chapter 7 (I like the short chapters) and got a good idea how it will be developing. Begins well and holds the interesting from the start. I think you've done really good job on this so far. Should do well here. On my shelf.

A GAME OF TWO HALVES -Stephen, contemplative with a sense of dread, this is a well-wrought story about life and its foibles and follies and cravings and attachments.. good luck in getting published.. evan (oaklane woods)

Hi Stephen, great premise and pitch. This is just the right paradox for a fabulous read. Love it, what more can I say? Shelved with mouth-watering pleasure.

Stephen, just reposting my comment from 192 days ago, in the hope I'll get a reciprocal read. I must have slipped under your radar last time. I'll back it again just in case the system's forgotten!

Stephen,
You've really got me with this. It's immediate, humourous, emotional, and with real meaning. Your mc's reaction to the death of his wife and kid in chapter 5 put a lump in my throat. No doubt at all that this can succeed. Backed.
Cheers,
Simon

Stephen.
Wow, philosophy and memoir of a mourning man, a powerful combination. You dance a fine line between comedy and tragedy but the writing is brilliant. The only thing I didnt like was preaching directly to the reader with all the YOU references. One of the great no nos in wriiting: teach but don't preach. On the other hand you share so many thoughts we have all had and so the story becomes so personal to the reader. Losing a beautiful wife and a beautiful son with downs would put most anyone on the brink. I believe to only solution is living outside of oneself and finding meaning by helping others. Excellent writing, great voice, emotion and passion. Well done and good luck with it.
Steve Ward
Test Pilot's Daughter

one hell of a pitch right there, and I love the strong vein of black humour running through this. Happy to back this admirable creation.
Jonathan Watts
Dread Fist

I concur with the recent comments. An eye-opening unique study into the human condition that should be must reading as text for any school courses on Psychology. Fantastic in every way! The writing, humor, and the pull on the heartstrings can only grab the reader and be appreciated and applauded. Great job. Shelved of course.

I feel it necessary to back this, cause I really like the character and his thoughts and meandering. You can reallyh feel his spirit coming thru the page and feel how hopeless he is.

The only crit I really have is that this reads more like an essay or a journal than anything else. I read up thru chapter 4 and flipped up thru chapter 8 and only saw a handful of conversations. I'm not sure most readers would be willing to sit thru all the philosophizing that's going on here. But your writing is very good and you really make us feel for him.

Your pitch had me. Long and short were both great. I started reading and I didnt know what to expect. This kinda took me by surprise. i found myself laughing and yet, it is incredibly bleak. Truly emotional stuff. My heart strings have been pulled.
I noticed some run on sentences and you seem to be a big fan of the semicolon/colon in the first couple chapters. I think your paragraphs could be strengthened by inserting periods, simply because then your sentences become more powerful, with more oopmph and kick.
I really liked this. On my shelf it will be.
T.L Tyson-seeking eleanor

Stephen
Notes on aGoTH:
Pitch has me interested - wife and 2 kids = hits home.
Part of me wonders about the comedy amid the suicide.
(possibly it wasn't meant to be funny milk/papers/cub scouts)
lightens the scene a bit too much maybe? Part of me wants darker, to have reasons to feel his darkness.
Chapter 5 does this. Ugh.
Chpt 6 - read any Sam Harris or Christopher Hitchens?
Dostoyevsky covered it very well in The Brothers K... kid with the pack of dogs bit.
Very glad to read he died that day actually...feared it'd be all "but I still love him because I want to see them again"
Take it for a positive, I have to stop reading here because I really don't want to entertain these thoughts anymore.
But it got under my skin so you must be on the right track.
Best of luck to you.
-=Bradley

Hi Stephen,
What a good way to describe the questions we people are putting to ourselves once in a while. What's the use? Why? and so on. I can certainly relate to that.
Your way of writing is good and once in a while I chuckle in midst of the anguish. I like it so I shelve it.
Nillan
Blue-eyed in Luhya-land (maybe you could find time to check my book?)

Stephen,

This was a bloody great read! It embodies all the subjects I discuss with people when I'm a drunken mess :) No seriously, I always find myself asking these questions about life and death, the meaning of being alive...am a wee philosopher at heart :) This is quite funny at times and very heartwarming. An emotional roller coaster, we experience the ride with an endearing and engaging protagonist in Tom. Very impressive narrative, has good pace and is well-written. I backed it earlier but decided to read more before commenting. Glad I did!

Melanie x