Black Market Beards

This was fun and exciting,will share it with my niece

Hi David, fun read. The wolves add to the mystery and fear. Tightening the sentences will make it a smoother read. Happy to back this. All the best. Casey

I love the story, and I'm not normally a fan of children's lit. I think the sudden wackiness and surreal elements are what draw me to it. Beard-thievery is an excellent notion.

I think the writing could use a little polishing, however. There are some points where the flow of the story is upset by some un-natural flow of sentences, or a confusing bit that isn't quite clear. Obviously a story intended for children needs no pretension of literary majesty; the focus, I would think, should be more on story-telling. And for most of the text, the story-telling is sound. But, I did find myself using my imagination to back up some holes, and not in the way that imagination should inflate the story. More as filler, rather than substance, I mean--the escape from the thieves prison stands out in my mind--I was a bit confused during the mole attack, and had to sort it out for myself. But the pace of that section is quick, and I would've liked the text to take me through a bit more rather than having to do the work myself. This could be only my interpretation, however. It could be fine for others.

Anyway, I'm excited by a children's story with the courage to expand beyond the tropes, and even beyond "common sense" towards the surreal. You win my support.

Adam

Scary stuff - but I'm already hooked after the first chapter. I will read more and have already added you to my shelf,

All the best

Mike

Hi, Great first chapter, I will definitely read more. I normally try and offer some form of criticism because I appreciate it when people do the same for me, but I don't have much to offer, I really liked it. I'll be back for more and put you on my bookshelf. Good luck.

Michael.

Superb writing - fast paced and an original setting. Brilliantly surreal and funny too.
I'm backing this all the way to the stars.

not read this yet, but the pitch and picture are worthy of a shelf place. deveril xxx

I'm just backing this. It's brill.

An interesting and unusual story. I started it because of your pitch. I found the beginning intriguing enough to continue and am up to chapter 3. This is not something I would normally pick out to read but I couldn't help myself. I like the idea and like the way your write. I have put it on my watchlist to perhaps continue at a later date. I believe it will appeal to younger readers, and will be quite saleable with some tidying up (including the spelling error of Rowan in the blurb.) For this reason I am also going to add it to the bookshelf.

If and when I read on, I will make further comments. A great start. Keep it up.
Rowan Dai

Great cover, great first couple of chapters - I think kids will love this. It starts really well & that is important as it will get the readers attention straight away. I am going to put it on my book shelf - good luck with it. Clare