Don't Hang Up

Hi Anthony!

Since you haven’t been to Authonomy for a while, I hope it’s okay that I’m sending this through your book comment:

I’d like to thank you for backing BRAINRUSH (a Thriller) last year. Because of you it hit the Authonomy Number-1 slot, attracted an agent, and landed a film option. Now that’s a brain-rush! The formal book launch is September 1st and the sequel will be released in December. None of this would have been possible without your help. So, thank you, thank you, THANK YOU!

Sincerely,
Richard Bard, BRAINRUSH

PS. If you want a good laugh, check out the temporary book-trailer video on the BRAINRUSH website. It’s there as a placeholder for the upcoming professional video. The current one features children and it’s guaranteed to make you smile! And yes, the younger kid on the screen is really me. You can see the video at www.RichardBard.com. The link is also on my Authonomy profile page. Special offer for former Authonomy backers between now and the formal launch on Sept 1st: If you would like to receive a “Review” copy of the eBook (plus 2 FREE thrillers from the Kindle Top-20 PAID Bestseller list – yes, really), go to the website, click the “Contact” button, and leave a message that includes your Authonomy username and the secret code words “I Feel the Rush!” Details of this promo will be emailed to you. Thanks!

Fantastic read= I wasnt sure what he would find as he searched the house. Then the phone rings and a this man who says he has kidnapped Jen that she will die if he hangs up, but a delivery man calls and David is nocked out did he drop the phone? This is a really good thriller packed with suspense and very well structured.
Wilma1

Knowing Liam Riley – I hope you can spare a moment to take a look.

Wow, your book is added to the handful of books on this site that I read in its entirety and couldn't stop. I am dying to know what happens!

Great flow; actually you had me at the first chapter, fantastic. Absolutely brilliant and happily backed

Denise

Would you mind having a look at my book, "Road to Redemption: From Cop's Daughter to Convicted Felon?"

I really like your use of the first person narrative - it adds a touch of realism to your story and allows you to explore David's thoughts and emotions. Your use of crisp, clean dialogue coupled with your use of short paragraphs keeps your book moving at an excelerrated pace and heightenned emotional turmoil especially through the first 3 chapters. Your face paced and well written thriller is a pleasure to read. Backed.

Andrew Burans
The Reluctant Warrior: The Beginning

Hi Anthony
Wow, this is a great start to a thriller. You create the pace and level of suspense perfectly. I felt my heart pounding as David started to realise the full extent of the situation he was in. This is compelling from start to finish. Great work.
DP Walker
Five Dares

Oh my Anthony,
this is gripping and I remember now why I read Noddy and Big ears.. Your talent for writing thrilling fast crime is unbelievable but your characters are believable. That is the problem well not for you but for me, as they are in my head now and wont leave. CONGRATS on a well crafted book.
I am so glad I crossed over to another genre, as it gave me the chance to read, comment, and BACK your book......,,,,,,,,,,,,,BACKED for sure and please take the time to cross over and COMMENT on mine as this is the only way I can improve my skills and if you will BACK my book

BEST of luck again
Denise
The Letter

Dear Anthony, I love the intrigue of your hero & his rescue attempts of his wife - I saw a movie like this & it was so scarey - just like your story. :) Your pitch is excellent, so set the hook for me to read your book. :) When you use short paragraphs & lots of dialogue, it makes me want to keep reading to find out what's going to happen next. I'm backing your book. :) Could you please take a moment to back my TWO memoir books? Thanks. :) Love, Susie :)

This is information from authonomy (so beware of any other untrue information you may receive that is spam & not quotes of authonomy):
"When you back a book, it only improves the ranking of that book, not yours. However, the author whose book you are backing may decide to back your book also, in which case yes, your ranking would be improved"
"Every time you place a book on your bookshelf, your recommendation pushes the book up the rankings. And while that book sits on your bookshelf, your reputation as a talent spotter increases depending on how well that book performs."

The pitch is first class and the writing style spot on for this kind of novel. Crisp, direct and to the point. First few chapters read. Saving the rest to enjoy over a glass (or two).

Philip John (Dead Reckoning/The Ambassador's Last Post)

Fantastic!!! Backed.

This is fantastically gripping, right from the start you lull us into a false sense of security before slamming us head-first into the thrilling, fast-paced action. Fabulous work, and backed with pleasure.
Abi xxx

Gripping and sharply written.

Brilliant and very unsettling and intimidating start – fantastic!!
To me this is very well thought out book. I very much like the later immensely intense emotional scenes; they just build and build this book.
This is one that needs to be read (but not in the dark or with the telephone on). Great story, very well told.

Dear Anthony, I love your intiguing story - & we are left hanging - again. :) Before I began to read your book, I was prepared by your recap/pitch - very well done. Your story is good because you create interest by having short paragraphs & lots of dialogue, which makes me want to keep reading to find out what's going to happen next. I'm "commenting & backing" your book to help it move up the charts. Could you please return the favor by taking a moment to "comment & back" my TWO memoir books, "He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not" & the unedited version? "Tell Me True Love Stories," which tells at the end my illness now & 6th abusive marraiage." Thanks, Susie :)

Anthony.

Excellent thriller. I like the first chapter hook and the chapter to chapter draw. I will back this. One comment, however. Thinking of this in book form, the chapters are very short. Some might be only one or two pages long. Have you considered combining some of them? I do not think that would change the draw and suspense.

Please read, comment on, and back if possible my Jamie 7.

Keep smiling
Joseph D Palermo
Jamie 7

This is a scary opening and promises to e a good read. I will definitely return to read more. Backed in the meantime.

hard to stop reading

This is a scary story. I like the way you wrote it in first person; made it feel as if it's happening right in front of my eyes. David is a sympathetic character. Your writing style is the type that moves a story forward rapidly. Well done. Burgio (Grain of SAlt).

Shelved because I liked the setup of the conflict. I plan to read more soon.

Daniel Koehler
Splitting Washington

hullo Anthony. Great story with a powerful start. but, David has turned the tables on the unknown man on the phone. Already shelved and backed



Linda Lou Long
Southern dis-Comfort
http://www.authonomy.com/ViewBook.aspx?bookid=11421

Great pitch which had me wanting to read it. The mention of Cliff Richard, would make me think if this turns out to be David killing his wife then I think he can successfully argue justifiable homicide. And the cynic thought, hey let them keep her. It's certainly a well written book but one of those I don't feel its able to comment on unless you have read the book to the end, as plot seems very vital in this one. Maybe you can post a synopsis at the end. Anyways from what i read it spent a happy few days on my shelf.
Backed
David
Bailey of the Saints

I have to agree with the comments that suggest that the story has a cinematic tone, which I suspected it would after reading the compelling pitch. The suspenseful writing is exceptional and this has to be backed.

Kevin

P.S. I would appreciate it if you could take a look at my novel, The Ellroy Deflection.

Read it all. It just gets better and better as it goes along; more thoughtful writing, and less restricted to action.
Iris

Okay I think this is actually the best opening chapter on the site.

It's sharp. Succinct. The writing is deft. The dialogue is real. These words fit into a human mouth.

I'm impressed with this.

I wish I had the time to read this entire book. I'll buy it when it's in print.

And btw - hell of a cross-media appeal. This is cinematic.

Mark R. Trost
"Post Marked."

Hi!
I've read the first 19 chapters, and am enjoying the plot. It's paced well--moving steadily forward but slowing regularly to flesh out the MC. I backed your book after the first few chapters, and look forward to reading the rest of what you've posted. Will you be posting more of the book or are you still working on the final chapters?
Iris

This is excellent - totally sucked me in and I have to keep reading! Very well written and polished - also a unique plot - must read more!!! BACKED without hesitation. Check outThe Cheech Room - I think it is similar to your style.

I have no idea where this story is going. Gee thanks. Now I will be trying to figure it out. What a great read. Thank you for writing Don't Hang Up.

Anthony. I have to go to work, but cannot tear myself away from your book. I mean that genuinely. I am absolutely gripped by it. Read through the first 4 chapters like my life depended on it. Gotta go but cannot wait to get back tonight and read the rest. This IS a thriller.

Brian - The Brotherhood

Dear Anthony Lund,

Thank you for sharing your story with us. You have a potent premise, and I think you could make it resonate it even more so in your long pitch by fixing it so the “Don’t hang up” comes on the last line. That’s what Bob Steele did in with Conflicts of Interest, and I think it’ll work for you too. I skipped to chapter seven to cover less-traveled ground and was rewarded by a gut-wrenching description of the protagonist’s emotions. He can scarcely cling to reality, since it’s taken such a horrible turn. In addition to his missing wife, he’s in turmoil over killing someone. You hook me into the next chapter with the police car pulling up. He deceives the young cop after scrambling over a fence, and yet another hook leads me into the next chapter. I’m jealous of your short chapters. "Don't hang up" could act as a verbal theme, accumulating layers of chilling emotion throughout the story.

Bravo! Backed.

Best wishes,
Alan Marling

DON'T HANG UP: This is one of those books I might pick up out of boredom at the airport, and find myself still reading when the plane touched down hours later. Vivid, fast-paced, suspenseful and well written, this is one cracking yarn. Your writing is crisp and clean, your dialogue realistic, and there's never a dull moment or a sentence not pulling its weight. Best of all, it's a manuscript that shows the technical care of a writer who means business.

I'm no expert on the thriller genre, but so far as I can tell, this has everything a good thriller needs. I'm entertained, anyhow! Backed with pleasure. Now go get published!
Cheers ~

G. M. Atwater
Nobody's Knight

Well, first of all, no-one likes being watched so EVERYONE likes to read about it!! Scary.
Like your writing style. Just make sure your voice is distinct from everyone else of this genre. Don't be lazy with your characterisations.
This is really good. Backed.
Andrea. Breach of Faith.

Such a lullingly natural opening, made entirely real by the details such as untying his laces. The phone call is like a bucket of cold water. 'All cynical thoughts left my mind', too bloody right ... the horror is tangible. And unbelievably, it gets worse. Are there two of them? Then the stunned realisation of the phone having been hung up ... 'somewhere inside I had broken'. 'Get away from the phone', Jeez, after all that. Superb action scenes all round this point. 'So what happened to the knife', hm, we go from horror to something almost surreal. Now I'm also wondering how this can all be happening (not a criticism, rather empathy for David). 'One minute sir', drat, no ... I'll have to buy the book

Strikingly effective little chapters, urging the reader on and on, as does the ever building horror and the mystifying events. I think the major drawback of this novel is the possibility of giving the reader a heart attack. Central to it all, David remains real and understandable even though we share his utter confusion. The pace is dizzying, and the writing perfectly pitched (aside from one small patch that I'll message you about). A baffling, throat-grabbing mystery that is going on my shelf.

Great end to chapter one. Just the sort of suspense and hook a thriller needs. It's impossible not to flick to chapter two and continue. The phone call in chap2 is quite chilling, the unbelieving then helplessness is well portayed. Tried to stop at end of chapter three, but you've put another hook in. Stopped at chap four. This is a good paced thriller, didn't see any nit picks, Backed, good luck with this.
Charlie

Don't Hang Up is thrilling, gripping, suspenseful, and outright addictive. The first two chapters grab the reader and one can't help but turn the page with curiosity, wondering what will happen next. Pre-eminent story telling (such as the mystery of the wife's location) makes the book even more captivating. Both shelved and Today's Pick I Like for 2/18/10: http://newandgoodreading.blogspot.com/2010/02/todays-pick-i-like-21810.html

L. Anne Carrington, "The Cruiserweight"

Suspenseful! It's a great read. Backed.
Krystiana
Surviving the Earthquake

Anthony, the first two chapters of "Don't Hang Up" certainly caught my attention. Kept me in suspense. I don't know if I'd have the Cliff Richard song playing. Maybe something more sinister, like Bob Marley's song "She's Gone" or something along those evocative lines, "Where have all the flowers gone", etc.

Happy to back this.

Joffrey (The Silver Spoon Effect)

Captivating and brisk, this is exciting and well-written. Your dialogue rings true and you have a nice premise on your hands. Good luck with Don't Hang Up. Shelved.

-j

This has all the ingredients of a thriller, sharp dialogue and pace, born of very readable prose.
The storytelling is pre-eminent, beginning with the mystery of the girlfriend's whereabouts, in what seems the empty house to which David returns and hears only the radio song 'She's just a devil woman...' and ending with 'Don't hang up, David. Hang up and she dies.'
I wish this ther success it deserves.
Ray
(A Child from the Wishing Well)

Good job, anthony. Chapter breaks and all, this is a taut read. Nicely done. Bon chance, Cynthia Drew, author of Tabernacle

Great drama, continually pulled me along. Vivid story telling; could see this as something that would also fit into film. I'm happy to give it a bit of time on my shelf.
Michael Croucher (Bravo's Veil)

This is gripping reading. I'm there in the room hanging onto the the telephone listening to everyword. The writing conveys the tension the uncertainty, atmosphere, delving lightly into the characters seemingly normal ordinary people. The shock initially of hearing the line 'Hang up and she dies.' I can't help but run it through my mind like a movie. And than another shock to find out he is being watched. I will back it for now, and just have to keep the pages turning.
Christina
From Under the Bed

OK, you had me at "hang up and she dies" in your pitch. It's so perfect - it's movie perfect! - and you get good mileage out of it. It works in your pitch, and it sure as hell works to end your first chapter.

I don't always read a second chapter, but I felt moved to. And if someone with twenty novels on his WL turned the page... draw your own conclusion.

Your writing is solid, your idea is great. Get a script ready just in case! I liked this and I think a lot of other people will too.

Well done and backed with pleasure!

Your writing is vibrant, fresh. There's no wordiness weighing it down. You paint a vivid scene. Immediately we are in David's world, which rapidly descends into nightmare. And to top it off, he has more than one enemy. The perfect thriller. Backed with pleasure, Jacqui Christensen (William's Revenge)

Ooh, punch and to the point. This is the first read I've had in ages which has dragged me relentlessly from chapter to chapter. BACKED!

Soap
(Bait)

DON'T HANG UP:

Anthony,

I love it that you plunge us straight into the meat of this story. You have a really good, strong plot that will hold the novel together and deliver the goods. Your writing is asssured and reads smoothly. It is well paced and there's an excellent blend of action and dialogue, with just enough exposition to keep us turning the pages.

Backed with great pleasure,
Sheila (Pinpoint)

Hi. What a thoroughly enjoyable read. Love the opening chapters, straight into the action. Excellent page-turning stuff with an intriguing narrative. Well done. Backed.

Exciting! Backed!
M (Weekend Chimney Sweep)

Nice pitch! Nice opening. You have to turn the page. Backed!

Ben Zaaiman - Person Under Control

Tight text, tense and very fast paced. A great thriller that grabs you by the scruff of your neck and doesn't let go. The short pitch tells you exactly what to expect and yet by chapter 3, there are already several surprises. First person definitely keeps you close to David and his emotions, and as long as this continues, and we feel everything he does then it will keep the story emotional and keep the audience involved in his plight. He also seems to be an average guy which helps us sympathise with him and makes the audience care.

This is a gripping, exciting book. Your pitch warns us what to expect, and you certainly tell your story well. There's no waiting around. Straightaway we are in the middle of terror. Jen is gone. The phone rings. She's been taken. Then the doorbell, and the blow on David's head. You move at a breakneck pace, and carry us along at top speed. David is a character easy to relate to. We feel an immediate empathy with him, particularly since you've made him your first person narrator, but also because his reactions are all believable and realistic. Your style is excellent, eminently suited to this type of book, short sentences and short chapters, and each chapter ends on a great hook. Apart from a missing word, 'the' between 'open' and 'door' in Chapter One, I haven't seen anything wrong. A really compelling, readable book. Backed.
Gerry McCullough,
Belfast Girls.

This is a great thriller that puts you on tender hooks from opening. I had to continue reading to find out what was going on. This is well written and I enjoyed what I read. I didn’t notice any nits. I couldn’t load chapter 4 or chapter 5, however I am happy to back your book on what I have read so far.

Tony
Life Bringer