Aw Faw Dow

Hi Lisa,
well!! This was 'so splendidly beautiful' that I read four chapters in a single gulp and loved every minute. i was slightly worried from the blurb that this might be an 'issue' book - nothing wrong with that but I think what you have done by placing the story of Tommy within the context of a loving, vibrant family is both clever and very wise. It's clesar that he is a much loved child whose family, especially the excellent LIzzie, make every effort to understand him and learn to work within his created world. There were some beautifully observations such as Lizzie's understanding of why he attacked the suitcase and the description of the characteristic tip toe walking
I also think that you are the kind of writer who can twist the language round her little finger- no wonder you won prizes as a child- there's some terrific phrasing here. My absolute favourite was 'we sang in perfect disharmony' not just because it is elegant and original but because it was necesary to my underatnding.
My only quiblle is twith the chronology and I'm no expert. i know that the early 60s seemed to have two cultures running in parallel but I didn't think that Russ Conway and george Best overlapped. i may well be wrong - I usually find that's the case if I'm sure of something.
I saw from the comments below that you're one tof the pioneers of authonomy and have been away for a while - so 'Welcome Back' and may my shelving be the first of the many which are Aw Faw Dow so richly deserves.
Jak

ARISE, AUTHONOMY GHOST!

Ease those weary, withered limbs from your coffin. Push away the stone from the mouth of the tomb.

You have one last task to perform. One last, sacred shelf to confer.

Whether you were plugger, spammer, gusher or troll, whether you flirted or fought in the forum or beavered away in the shadows, now is the time for your resurrection.

One last time. Marshall your strength, muster the last vestiges of your power and carry out your final Authonomy act:

Back my book, MIRROR IN THE SKY.

Then, only then, you may rest easy in your Authonomy grave.

Nick Poole2 (formerly known as NickP)

Just taken off chapters seven to sixteen, but leaving rest here just to keep my hand in. Any day now I'll get going on my rewrite. In the meantime, thanks for all your advice and encouragement. I have learned a lot from you all.

Hi Lisa,
well!! This was 'so splendidly beautiful' that I read four chapters in a single gulp and loved every minute. i was slightly worried from the blurb that this might be an 'issue' book - nothing wrong with that but I think what you have done by placing the story of Tommy within the context of a loving, vibrant family is both clever and very wise. It's clesar that he is a much loved child whose family, especially the excellent LIzzie, make every effort to understand him and learn to work within his created world. There were some beautifully observations such as Lizzie's understanding of why he attacked the suitcase and the description of the characteristic tip toe walking
I also think that you are the kind of writer who can twist the language round her little finger- no wonder you won prizes as a child- there's some terrific phrasing here. My absolute favourite was 'we sang in perfect disharmony' not just because it is elegant and original but because it was necesary to my underatnding.
My only quiblle is twith the chronology and I'm no expert. i know that the early 60s seemed to have two cultures running in parallel but I didn't think that Russ Conway and george Best overlapped. i may well be wrong - I usually find that's the case if I'm sure of something.
I saw from the comments below that you're one tof the pioneers of authonomy and have been away for a while - so 'Welcome Back' and may my shelving be the first of the many which are Aw Faw Dow so richly deserves.
Jak

Lisa

Thanks so much for your support of the Rusty Coracle. I have a plot issue to iron out, then I will finish it this weekend!! After that, I plan to have a relaxed read of all the books I have enjoyed here - a scary amount. But Aw Faw Down stays with me, and I have recommended it to my sister, just as soon as she gets her act together to join us. Looks like I'm not the only one to find this book special!

Jill

Hi Lisa

Your period detail and characterisation work very well. I enjoyed the first few sections and really warmed to the family. Tommy is a lovely personality, and his family's creativity in coping with his 'foibles' are beautifully caught. My only question would be, is this a series of anecdotes, or does the story have a line? I could answer this myself if I went further, but as an opener, it might be an idea to hint at what might come.
Lovely work, and I will be reading more just as a matter of curiousity.

This is an utterly charming book on many levels. I could identify with life in the 1960's, and also know how demanding caring for an autistic youngster is. I've only had time to read a couple of chapters but will be back for more.

Thanks Lisa, for your kind comment about Sunday's Child. I'm still reading Aw Faw Dow, and will be back soon.

best,
anne

this is very good... finally i had time to finish all that u have posted. very good work. all the best.
kweku

Lisa, many thanks for your kind comments. Victoria did say that on his death, I didn't invent it. I'm not sure why I haven't got round to reading yours before. I see it has been well reviewed and I will do so. I'm just a bit overloaded at work at the moment.

Impressive writing. I've worked with a lot of autistic kids, so can say with confidence that you've caught the idiosyncrasies of Tommy's behaviour perfectly.

I've now read chapter two and the Irish-ness of this is so familiar. Tommy is like my son, he would have to be forced to kiss someone, and then the most you would get is a brush of his lips.

Still a great story. I remember the Morris Oxfords.

I shall be back later.
anne

Lisa this is a delight and completely absorbing. It has transported me from a boring afternoon in the office! Very clever title too. It promises to be a really lovely novel and I'm looking forward to getting to know the characters better.

Julia, can't seem to get on to your book to write a comment, but thanks for yours. it is literally only the words 'Chapter Fifteen' that have somehow found their way into the middle of 16. All the text is there as it should be. I am having a little bit of a problem editing it out though! Thanks

Lisa, I was just looking at your newly uploaded chapters and wonder if this is right. I've got 'See da Ducks' when I click ch. 15, and then if I click 16 I get 'the End,' in four sections followed by chapter 15. Is that how you wanted it? Just so I don't read things in the wrong order.
Afraid I haven't got any more to upload for you yet. Have just had to write a completely new ch. 9 in response to some very harsh criticism, and that means I'll have to change 10 and 11 as well. Don't mind though - it's an
unexpected chance to write something new, and I kept the original in case I change my mind. I gather you liked it as it was! Just shows you can't please them all. By the way, what is your word count for the book? I have always felt it should be not too long.

Lisa, re: your comment on Ian's page, your book is the proof you have no need to be frightened. Not many people get to finish a book, and especially not one so beautifully written as yours. Be proud. Julia

A lovely book Lisa (I've only read one chapter). When I saw the name of the book I automatically read it with an Irish accent (I lived in Cork for nearly 7 years) and thought how interesting that was. The Irish begin a lot of sentences with 'Oh, for the love of God...' and say it exactly in the way you've written this.

There are so many things happening and one could almost 'hear' the voices. For example when Jakie-Marie slapped TomTom, I could hear the sharp intake of breath around the park.

Very nicely done.

Lisa, your work is fantastic I must confess. I have read some chapters and I really enjoyed the flow. Your characters are intriguing, speaking audible voices from the ink and paper. I felt the impact of their actions in my spirit as if I am involve. I will definitely continue. Hope you'll spare little time to see my work. Good luck.

i just read your first chap and i must say i enjoy the flow. i will need to catch up again on it since i got to run. but please do find the time that is if you have it..to have a look see at my work...kwasumang

I have added a few more chapters. I guess not much happens and, as has been pointed out, there is not a huge amount of plot, but I hope you are still interested enough to read what Lizzie and Tommy did next.

Lisa - Something occurred to me when I was reading your chapters today. Have you thought of sending this to the BBC? I think the episodic nature of it would make it suitable to be serialised for the afternoon read. They like narratives without too much dialogue apparently. Was it you who kissed the blarney stone?
I've put ten chapters up now, but I have just re-written the second one in response to good criticism. I like this site!

Lisa, I have read Chapter One and enjoyed it very much. You have an accessible style, the nostalgia for the Sixties shines through authentically and I would definitely want to go on and read more. You have the ability to reflect things from the child's point of view ("I saw myself smacked in several mirrors.") and I found that Lizzie soon captured my heart.

There is the odd cliche ("utter fools", "vast repertoire", "model for perfection") and while these can be good as they situate the novel in its time and also give the idea of a narrator testing out her language, it might be useful to turn some cliches on their heads in order to freshen them up. Also, there is no harm in making your verbs work harder for you. For example, where you say "Each game we played made Tommy get more excited", you could say "Each game we played thrilled Tommy more" or "Each game we played whipped Tommy higher." I know you are using simple child's language on purpose, and it adds to the authenticity of your writing, but as a reader of a work of fiction, I'd be wanting to be drawn in by the language as well as by the plot and characterisation. As I say, though, I am really looking forward to reading more.

I'm so pleased that you've added more chapters - I've sat and read them for ages this afternoon! The characterisation is so realistic that I feel as if I personally know the Ryan family. I also think you have captured the way children speak perfectly with their emphasis and exaggeration on certain syllables. I am really loving this.

I thought this was beautifully written and very evocative, but I would have liked something to bring the episodic nature of it together more, some main event from which to hang off the smaller anecdotes, or some sense of build up to what lies ahead. But I enjoyed it very much and would be interested to see how the family hangs together in trouble.

Read some more tonight and it's just addictive, isn't it? I too got Famous Five books from my dad and I even had (and still have in my daughter's room) a book of 366 Goodnight Stories!

Lisa I have just added three chapters for you, and got rid of the formatting problems.
I am beginning your story. You have a gift for making something out of nothing, but without overwriting.

Thanks to all of you for the encouraging and useful comments. I have just added chapters 5-9. I hope you like them.

Just up my street this - wonderful, lively, evocative 60s working class world. I'm not that bothered about plot when the sense of time and place is so vivid - just let it roll

I loved this. The characters are completely real and I now feel as though I know them and care about what is happening to them. I really like the fact that this is just 'everyday' happenings and not soap opera land. The characters and situations you depict are easy to empathise with. As well as the main characters who are very realistic and well-developed, I also like your portrayal of the lesser characters such as Granny Ryan and Josiah. I would love to read more.

I started only intending to read a bit, because I'm supposed to be working, and have now read far too much.
Well done.
I'd like to know what happens - as in, I'd like a bit more clue as to what the narrative is going to be in your pitch, at the moment you've just introduced us to a list of characters.

Thanks Lisa for your comment. I shall upload some more for you. I was holding back because of the technical problem with the line spacing, which I thought would put people off. Hope they can resolve that soon.

You deserve a prize just for the title. It has drawn me in and I have started reading it. It's jolly good. Thank you for posting it.

Oh, I did enjoy this. I've read the first two chapters and must get back to work. You make the characters come to life so well, and I want to spend more time with them. The period springs out of the page; you give just enough detail to make it vivid. I don't think your pitch does justice to the book; so my only suggestion is to hone it to attract more readers to the pleasure of reading your novel.

This is entertaining and chatty, very easy to read and you brought many memories back for me. It also captures all the different characters plus autistic Tommy's behaviour very clearly. I haven't got as far as when the cloud moves in on the family, but I do feel I've grown to know and like them. One suggestion, just use three dots instead of a row of them to show an incomplete thought.

This is very good. You've captured the life and mind of Lizzie perfectly and I can really identify with the era too. Lizzie's interactions with her family are spot-on. I wonder how you are going to sustain this for an entire novel as there isn't a huge amount of plot - but maybe it doesn't need it as the characterisation is so strong? Or will we see Lizzie growing up in future chapters? I enjoyed this very much.