Darkside

Only just got round to reading this book, dont know why really. Its turned out to be one of the best books I have read in a long time, could not put it down - that is except to stop myself from crying laughing!!!!!! Well done, its certainly one for my favourites file. Cant wait to get a hand on the sequal.

Really awesome book !! I love the characters, the witty banter, the humor that spreads through the entire book and is appropriate no matter what the scene is. James is a lovable guy and the kind of person you would want in your own life. I found this book online a few years ago and I find myself re-reading it every couple months. It just never gets old and it makes me laugh every time I read it. The moment I finished it, I immediately emailed SKS Perry for the sequel and have loved it just as much as the first !! I can not wait for more of James Decker and the entire gang !!!!

DARKSIDE
This is a good story. You have a good character in James; his sense of humor is still intact even though he didn’t ask to be in this situation. Makes this a good read. I’m adding it to my shelf. Burgio (Grain of Salt).

Great main character, good voice had me laughing, I was brought in by your pitch and haven't regreted it. Ive only read the first chapter so far but there's so much you want to know it propels you to read more.

Good luck with this, you have some great stuff here.

All my best

Deloris Collins
Dark Souls

This IS exactly what it promises to be--smart, funny. The voice is FANTASTIC! And yes, you got my attention, wanting to know why he was telling us he wasn't a vamp or a shapeshifter--then what is he i wonder? He tells us, but that doesn't really answer our questions. Then the story continues on. We keep getting some answers and some new questions, a sure sign of a well crafted story. BACKED!
xBeccaX
The Forever Girl

Great stuff. You had me laughing and kept my interest. Backed with pleasure.

Kristin
Demon in the Knight

I really enjoyed what I was able to read. I think you've got a well written book that has a fun style to it. I'm a sarcastic person so I liked that kind of humor you stuck in there. It's something different and in my opinion that's always good! Best of luck with this, you've giving the vampire book a new burst of life.

Missy
Mark of Eternity

Okay, I read your first 2 chapters.

I enjoyed this. I vowed to stop backing any vampire stories because the market is saturated and they're at their end. But you have a fresh voice. I like the sarcasm without being caustic. I like the first person narrative. I think you're readable. I don't know if your marketable. You'll discover that. Would I read this? No. I'm an adult. But I'd remember the name and I'd pick up your second novel outside this genre.

Good luck with it.

Mark R. Trost
"Post Marked."

This book is awesome! It's a fabulous read, I really hope to see it out in print, along with its sequel. It reminds me a lot of the Dresden files, though more irreverent and more humorous. I cannot understand why it has not been published already...

Your storytelling is PERFECT! And Bumper is just... Well, he reminds me a lot of me because I usually go around, giving sarcastic remarks, hiding behind jokes... I'm really looking forward to reading more of your future work (there is going to be more stuff, right??? Gee, I sound like a junkie now). Backed and safely on the shelf. Greeting from the Croatian...

This is very entertaining. He's dead, he gets shot, he rescues the girl. The troll calls her an innocent.

And grandpa. Dead as well!

He's got a mission, protect the girl. fair enough.

But if he's impossible to kill, we only have to fear for her, don't we?

This is pretty good. No, that sounds faint. This is GOOD,

Good story, I like what I read.

Backed.

Natasha (Water Under the Bridge...rises)

Brilliant opening chapter, kept me reading on at least! Good luck with everything, i hope this gets published - i particularly liked the use of humour. Your character speaks to me like a friend at a bar, well done!

If you have any time free i would be grateful if you could check out The Secret Life Of A Part-Time Shark :)

Brilliant opening chapter, kept me reading on at least! Good luck with everything, i hope this gets published - i particularly liked the use of humour. Your character speaks to me like a friend at a bar, well done!

If you have any time free i would be grateful if you could check out The Secret Life Of A Part-Time Shark :)

Brilliant opening chapter, kept me reading on at least! Good luck with everything, i hope this gets published - i particularly liked the use of humour. Your character speaks to me like a friend at a bar, well done!

If you have any time free i would be grateful if you could check out The Secret Life Of A Part-Time Shark :)

Good, fast, fluid writing--excellent voice..makes you want to keep reading, which is the whole idea, isn't it? Backed with pleasure. Harvey Ardman

Darkside is a very well written book. I enjoyed reading it. I was captivated by everypage!

TWO THUMBS UP!

I like the viewpoint of the narrative, it literally feels like life narrated. It reads very true to life, like actual dialogue, and it brings a personal feel to the mix. The plot goes hand in hand with it, and there is never a dull moment. Only thing I though was odd was that you say he doesnt drink, but you also say he has an evil face when he is pissed. Bit of conflicting info there. Otherwise, this is a good read, most original and enjoyable.

Andrew

Excellent cover, title and pitch. The opening is very funny and sarcastic which I love. Fast moving and let me just say it again very sarcastic. I love the bit about shapeshifters being irresponsible, sorry if I got that wrong. Just had to stop after the first few paras and back this completely brilliant. Shelved immediately.

Sandie
The Crown of Crysaldor

I like your idea and it's very funny. The pace is great and you have a good voice but it would flow a lot better if you worked on your spelling and punctuation. Where you've under-lined words or sentences you should use itallics instead and use a single dash instead of two. It might not seem important but pedants can get turned off even the best stories by these small things.
Good luck.

Hi am enjoying your book especially some of the lines which are fantastic , thanks dixie. (couldn't hit the side of a barn from the inside!)

You're welcome!

SKS (you got a real name?) - I love this. You have a great voice, and the words just tumble along. My only gripe would be the constant use of --. Puh-lease, just use one dash, or be a bit more orthodox and use a comma. Apart from that, excellent work, and on my shelf with pleasure.

The real name is Steve Perry. Someone else beat me too it, so I write under S.K.S. :-) And the -- is a throwback to proper manuscript formatting--I had no idea you could post here using real italics and crap! I'm glad you like the work.

SKS (you got a real name?) - I love this. You have a great voice, and the words just tumble along. My only gripe would be the constant use of --. Puh-lease, just use one dash, or be a bit more orthodox and use a comma. Apart from that, excellent work, and on my shelf with pleasure.

Hi am enjoying your book especially some of the lines which are fantastic , thanks dixie. (couldn't hit the side of a barn from the inside!)

This is hilarious. I love how you rip on vampires in the opening. "I've gotta friend who's been blind since birth and he's never seen a goddamn thing" HAHAHA. Greatness. I knew this was going to be good from then on. You have an authentic voice here, full of humor, and mystery. WL.

SKS, I truly loved the first book as well as the second I don't know much else to say except.......MORE PLEASE!!
=) I really hope you break-out and can add some more tales to my shelves. Good Luck!! (yes it is on my shelf, I will back you anyway I can)

Darkside...

Please get back here and actively promote your novel. I love it! The writing flows smoothly and you've created a really strong narrative drive.

I shall never, ever drink coffee from an office carafe again (but since I now work at home, I hope I'm safe.)

Another little nit about the writing: Thought attributions (e.g., I figured) when you're firmly in one POV aren't necessary and can distance the reader from your character. A related issue is the question of italics for interior monologue. Two schools of thought on that one and it's your choice. I happen to prefer the no italics school.

This is great stuff (and I'm not saying this just because you're Canadian).

Shelved enthusiastically.

Cheers,
Sheryl
IN ALL THE WRONG PLACES (would love your honest reactions)

Darkside...

Commenting as I go along, one Canadian to another!

Love your first chapter. Very interesting twist or hook. If I were in a bookstore and read your pitch and a couple of pages at the beginning, I'd buy this book. Hence, I'll back it as soon as I've finished commenting.

Only one nit: you don't need the italics (I'm assuming your underlining means italics in the published text) for emphasis. Out of fashion with editors and agents. Read the phrase or sentence aloud several times, placing the emphasis on a different word each time. Most often you'll find that the meaning doesn't change, in which case you eliminate the italics and let the reader make a contribution. Where the meaning does change to a way you don't want, you change the wording.

That's my only nit about c.1. This is a really good opening and I do so like your MC's voice.

Reading on...

This book was a great read. It made me laugh from beginning to end, even though it was a serioius fantasy novel. Highly recommend this book to anyone who love a good fantansy novel and has a sense of humor.

Good luck and all the best!

Patti

Oh.My.God. I could not stop laughing as I read your whole book! You were backed the moment I read the first paragraph. Even though I would have liked Bumper to have had trouble using his abilities a little more because I felt at times it was just too easy, it was all just smooth sailing from there. If this book was in stores I would have bought a copy and extras for my friends, hands down. I just wish I could read a sequel.

Samenta.
BLOOD ESSENCE

SKS,
What a fun read this is. Made me laugh from the beginning. A different sort of story than many I've read of late and so glad I came across it. Great laid-back writing style, zany story, a unique 'telling' voice, what a fine mix for a fantasy story. I comment only as a reader and I am shelving this because you made me smile at what I think is a very good book-in-waiting, for a publisher, that is! Margaret.
Candles in the Garden &
The Spirit of the Butterfly.

This is refreshing, funny and has a great tongue-in-cheek point of view! Nothing I can say will make this any better than it already is.

I hope you do really well here. Happy to shelve for a time!

Cheers
Elaina
Gathering of Rain

Hi there,
This made me laugh. You have great humour running through this, your pitch starts it with your first line which is a real hook and it continues through out.
You clearly have an imagination, you have created a great atmosphere, love the troll and others, they are a mix of horrid and funny.
James is an interesting character, I like the way you show how he deals with his double life between the two realities.
I think this is well written and enjoyable.
SHELVED!
Bests,
AnnabelleP
(Adelaide Short)

humerous character gets protagonist gets gilled at the start dies and has a quick chat with a troll before running home to get cleaned up. Very imaginative, like death becomes her.
Shelved,
Paul.

Ah...where to start
While I make no claim as to being a critic ...I KNOW WHAT I LIKE!!!!!
Well done and highly enjoyable!
I can't wait to see what pops up next!

SKS,
Wow! Original, funny, a little off kilter. You give a whole new slant on this kind of a story. I really like this. James has a foot in both worlds and that is the stuff of good stories. Well done and on my shelf!
Jeff

This is GREAT. It's going on my shelf immediately. I think you're going to love The Zombie Diaries. Check it out if you get a chance.

-R

I agree with just about everything Gordon Long says. Your humor is spot on, though if it cuts the tension it's misplaced. Think of it as the "good cop bad cop" routine: the bad cop comes in and makes you feel like you're in over your head, and the good cop comes in and makes you feel like you have a buddy in the system. Scare us up with the thrills, then carry us into a lull with a bit of comedy so you can make the next thrill punch that much harder.

The only thing I can think of is the font. Big blocky Courier just doesn't do your style and humor justice. Use something smaller and finer, like Garamond or Arial. That's just a cosmetic suggestion though, don't mind me.

KKKFC. Ahahahaha. That's awesome. Oh God I could bounce so many rope and fried chicken jokes off of that, but I won't. I bet you can come up with some brilliant Instructor tirades. You ever throw your hat at anybody?

Dear SKS,

I really enjoyed this story. I've read it twice, before commenting. I love the humour. It's so different from the "watch me be funny" self-conscious, would-be Pratchett writing we see so much of.

I do have a couple of comments though. Well, maybe more than a couple:

First, it's a small thing, but you've got to fix it. The "tape recorder" gambit you use to start. You barely touch on it at the beginning, you mention it twice, then you forget about it until the end. It is completely separate from the story, and basically unnecessary. Thus its use at the end is very weak. You are a creative enough writer to find a story device with more meaning and usefulness to the theme of the story, if you think you need one. If it doesn't somehow add power to your theme of the rebirth of the main character, then it's a useless appendage.

The next is more subtle: you have two techniques that undermine the suspense. First is the development of his powers. If a character is all-powerful, then there is no suspense. We know he will always win. Your character is held back, throughout the first half of the story, by his ignorance and by his desire to stay human. This works very well. However, about two-thirds of the way through, he starts to get into the "snap your fingers and it happens" kind of power. The damage that his opponent do do him (and his ability to recover) also increase dramatically.(How many objects get shoved through his chest?) At this point, you have nowhere to go, suspense-wise. Once the reader believes that nothing they can do will harm him, we stop worrying about him. So you need to develop his abilities slower, and to develop new dangers that he can't handle, to keep us worried through the length of the story, and especially in the big fight at the end.

Second suspense problem has to do with humour. A laugh breaks tension. So every time you build up the suspense, then put in a smart remark, you cut the tension. I think you need to map out the building and dropping of suspense in the last chapter, and then take out any humour that occurs on an upswing. Put it in only in the lulls. Don't cut back on the humour, as I said, it's great. Just relocate it more carefully.

Another point, just a hunch. I don't see Alex as a character. Everyone else is beautifully drawn. She is just the object of their conflict. As a person, I have a vague image of a cute, bouncy, almost-teenager, nothing more. The character equivalent to the ghostly nebulosity of Bear. I think the story would be more poignant if she was more real to us.

And while I'm at it, why does James have to be 32? I think there's a great market in the older YAs for this, but the hero needs to be closer to someone a sixteen-year-old girl might dream of. Not an "old man" :-)

Great work. Keep it up.

PS The short pitch is a very limited opportunity to show your creativity. Don't waste it by using the word "smart" twice.

Like it, it hits me somewhere between Butchers stuff and Glen Cooks Garratt Books.

Nice introduction coming to the situation from the side like that. Nice laconic style. Five chapters in and still reading. On my shelf. Patrick Barrett (Shakespeares Cuthbert)

Darkside - SKS Perry. Read the 1st 2 chapters. Interesting premise. I think you have the makings of a good book. There are some flow problems that you might want to clean up - for example - chapter two - vampires blood diet boring. How much does he know about vampires at this time. He asks for a glossary later in the chapter so he can understand this new reality. Also why does he feel compelled to guard her?

Regards,
Gideon
The Oil Market Czar

SKS, this is a bizarre idea, but you pull it off very well. Shelved.

Hi SK, I think you handle the first person POV very well and that the start of the novel is really excellent. It is bouncy, intriguing and most importantly shows us James's character through his actions and thoughts. I'm not sure you need any of the underlining, your story telling and dialogue is strong enough already. Try removing them and see what you think.

James's death is shocking and has impact because of the ecomonical way you tell the story and this is good writing. Likewise the appearance of the Troll. James's detached POV of what has happened to him works very well in the first chapter, however, as we progress, it's not only James that has this detatched POV that he is dead, but also most of the other characters. The grandfather, father and Sabrina all have this unconcerned acceptance that James is dead. Even though the storytelling is good, this means that the narrative becomes very linear. I

feel you could exploit the situation more if you inject some fear, concern or even horror through at least one characters to whom the fact that James is s 'dead man walking' is scary or worrying.

I think this story has loads of potential and wish you best of luck with it.

Cheers,
Dennis.

Hi SKS,
This is completely different from what I expected (and a much easier and more enjoyable read.) I'm not a fan of supernatural / vampire / undead type books, so a bit out of my normal territory here. So I have just looked a t the language / readability aspects. Have only had time to read 2 chs - still quite a list of return reads to do - comments are based on them.
For the most part I found this engaging, entertaining and particularly liked the humourous touches - 'gremlins seemed to congregate around the computer terminals...' (though I'd remove the 'who'd have thunk it' ref - hammering home a point the readers have already grasped) / 'apparently cpherence was the second thing to go...' / 'wasn't about to take fashion advice from a man who wears polyester pants...'
Examples of other phrases I found effective - '..peculiar or a liar or both...' / ' You'd think he'd have told me I'd never sleep again.'
Also descriptions - of the troll and the gremlin.
The whole set up reminds me a little of Due South - with the dead father / grandfather chipping in.
A couple of minor glitches - bits that cut would (imo) improve this - 'or is it African American now?' / 'as opposed to those grungy, noisy corners in the rest of the library.'

Those nit-picks aside, this is good stuff,
onto my shelf for a spin,
M.
(Later today, as I have a wee bit of a queue)

This is such an original and awesome idea! I love supernatural novels but hate the serious side some authors force into them...so this is perfect! Funny fantasy. Love it.

I've always loved fantasies and this held my interest to the end. I couldn't wait to see what was going to happen next. It played with a lot of humor and twists and turns, which lead to the indiviuals being more really to the reader. I would recommend this to my friends. Good luck!

Okay. This is one of the more interesting approaches I have seen in a long time. It did sort of start in my face with the whole dead bit, but as the chapters pass it gets much, much better.

Bumper comes across as naive, over-confident and deadly. In the first four chapters ALex and Sabrina are almost bit players, but I'm guessing that will change. I'll be continuing to read, so that I can find out for myself.

The underlining for emphasis did grate on me a bit, but that's personal opinion and it in no way detracts from the story. I did spot a couple of typos but they'll easily get picked up.

All in all,one that I'll recommend. Shelved.

Cheers

Rayo