The Land of Many Rivers

Rob,

I wasn't expecting this to be so fast-paced(I never do with Lit Fic/Historical Fic) but this is has a superb flow to it. A very interesting premise, something I could imagine as a movie as soon as I read the pitch. The story itself is very entertaining, the dark wit made it all the more enjoyable; woven in seamlessly in all the right places. I could never tell such a serious tale and pass it off as a black comedy of sorts! Charlie is an endearing character, well-drawn and relatable due to his divorce etc. I love where this is going and I get a great sense of adventure. The setting is almost magical, so interesting and vividly portrayed. Definitely giving this a spin on my shelf, thanks for inviting me for a read-swap! Excellent read.

Melanie ~Dreamgate~

Rob,
This is a book I would buy. You give us the travelogue sense of place, but this is also gritty and layered. You're building an important story through these early chapters. I can see this is leading toward the Jonestown disaster but you're not going for the cheap drama here.

Like my own book, I think you could still tighten a bit with editing, but your writing is strong. This is a book worth reading.

Nice work.
I'm backing.
Mark

Robert,
I blazed through chapter five before I was the wiser. Very quick read. Never thought I'd care for a story (other than Jim Jones) coming out of Guyana. But this is a fast-paced, interesting story. I could just see myself in the humidity, with a pesky mosquito buzzing about. And you have the accents down cold. You've spent time in Guyana?
Shelved and happy to do so.
Hope you get the chance to check out "The First Daugher". Would appreciate knowing what you think.
Great job. Take care,
Tom Mahon

Hi Rob, cheers for the nudge.
i do a lot of Carib island hopping for business so that opening scene is very poignant for me and well written! The sentence starting' time seemed ....of them' maybe could do with a rework, saying this as the writing flows beautifully but this stands a little ajar...
love the little humorously wry insights!
excellent dialogue Rob, accent picked up beautifully mahn, and the chupsing!? sublime! ( you must speak spanish?). ben in that situ so many times with characters you dont know how to weigh up - the shotgun on the back seat , machetes, wow, im loving this....
de more it rain, de more my bones ache....yes! ignore the bloody travellers complaint and just refer it to your own problems.
read to chapter three end, and its enough to completely hook me. I mean, I dont like too many books on here, writing or subject, too many vampires and all that shit, but this is a beaut, a real gem.
Im shelving with pleasure, deservedly so and will be back to read the rest.
a ll the very best
MAT

Your writing is technically strong. You have good descriptions and lively dialog. The scenes laid out well and I like Charlie and Shivnarine as characters.

Three chapters in, I don't see how Charlie is making process toward his goal of doing business there. He hasn't made any attempts to strike a business deal that I can see. So the plot needs a bit more forward momentum.

Where did Charlie store the two cartons of cigarettes on the plane? His luggage was stolen, after all.

I want to sense more of Charlie’s reaction when the albino is robbing him. When he says “I want to lie down” it makes him sound like it flustered him, yet he didn’t seem afraid as it was going on.

You are a talented writer and I will back this. I hope you continue to work on novels.

Brian Bandell
Mute

You have a strange, sticcato style, Rob, which is surprisingly easy to read. I thought I would become frustrated by the way you flick from one short scene to the next but it becomes quite rhythmic, once I've got the hang of it. You keep us quite distanced from the characters, too; I think it's connected to the pace you set. Although you share some of their motivations I still felt very much as though I was outside looking in. The whole effect is like watching a very sophisticated lantern show!
This is unusual work, but quite compelling.
Well done.
Lindsay
A Priest's Tale

Hi Robert

Will definitively have a nose through this as I have a few spaces on my book shelf and WL. Would you be so kind as to have a quick look at my book - The List. Feel free to leave a comment.
ta very much.

David J Baron

South America fascinates me so I read the first 3 chapters with interest. I enjoyed the opening, which I thought realistic and well-written. Finding a machete and sawn-off shotgun on the back seat of a taxi would probably have me racing back to the airport. I thought the squalor and danger was well-described, the attempted mugging horribly authentic. The characterization is good, Charlie and Shivnarine are well-rounded and entertaining. Nitpicks, I'm not sure if a father would mix up his twin sons, unless he hardly knew them. Regarding the phrase "He walked north long another long avenue, stopping only to itch a mosquito bite on his ankle." I think itch should be scratch. This is an enjoyable, interesting read and is going on my WL for further reading. Well-starred. Good luck with this.

you only take messages from friends. This seemed to be the only way I could get through. If you can adjust that setting, I can reply to your message.

Rob, you describe both the threatening and beautiful with genuine ease. Charlie Fisher is a complex and believable character, while you portray the locations and events so clearly I can practically see and smell them. Excellent, thoughtful storytelling with a definite feel of authenticity. I would be happy to read all of this.

THE LAND OF MANY RIVERS

Dear Robert Frische,
This reads like the wind.
Well done.
I have sprinkled five stars and it is on my WL.
A zoomer

Hi Rob, It is almost similar to an adventure story. The hero in your novel is like an adventurer, at the same time wrong things are heading into crisis. It is an overview of Latin American politics, though it is not go deeply. Besides it, readers will get a charming explanation f natural beauty.

Regards,

Joy J. Kaimaparamban
The Wildfire

good pace to this, making it very readable...this is on my watchlist...
read SEASONS...

Thank you :D

Rob, happy to support your exciting adventure tale. :)
I am trying to drum up support for The Firelord's Crown by my friend Jim Darcy. I believe that Jim commented on and backed your book some time ago. If you could spare a few minutes to read a bit then comment and * rate it, that would be brilliant. If you like it then please consider giving it some shelf space.
Many thanks and best wishes for your writing too. :)

THE LAND OF MANY RIVERS: ROBERT FRISCHE

Robert,
Your pitch hits straight to the point; I see few pitches that truly wrap the story in 2-3 sentences so well. Story line is interesting but just a suggestion to include more descriptions to create visual impact eg. the issue with the fat man stringing through with so much gold on his person.... Other than, the language flows well, is easy to understand and rather honest. Hope to read more soon...

All the best!

Romilla
Forgetting Sally

Hi Robert,
Yes, I know what you mean - I am having the same issues as well; we were told to clear the cache but nothing seems to work well with that as well...I haven't delved into your book as yet but I will eventually... and will be back with some commentary as well; I was unable to send any email messages to you....

Romilla
Forgetting Sally

The land of many rivers
An interesting pitch, the dialogue is good
Backed
Eveleen
(Turning a new leaf)

you set the scene very well, a part of the world I am not familiar with but you have gone to great lengths to plunge the reader there with your vivid description and having the characters speak as they would here, I;m a bit fed up with authors telling each other the world speaks the queens english but I love to read and hear accents as it only adds to the story, enriching it, you also have a theme of self discovery here whether the character knows it or not, events here will impact him greatly.

Great! Written to entice us in and then impossible to put down. I swear I had sweat-marks on my shirt from your vivid descriptions, well done. Patrick Barrett (Cuthbert-how mean is my valley)

"He thought it typical he should be entering a country everyone else was trying to leave." Robert Frische, your writing is RICH and you somehow make me want to explore this foreboding place, too. Allow me to do so in the safety of my chair, but I'll shift my machete so I can read more of The Land of Many Rivers.

Best and backed.

GK Stritch
CBGB Was My High School

I followed your story to chapter five and the discovery of the diamonds. You have a very visual way of writing from the moment the plane first touches down and Charlie’s acceptance that his luggage has gone. Meeting Shivarine saves his bacon, as not only does he have a relative with a boarding house, he also turns up at the right time to save Charlie being robbed. There is a rawness about this book and the acceptableness of how things run in this Caribbean island that seems so unsafe and yet Charlie’s doesn’t grab the first flight out of town, he goes with the flow, and as his acceptance of the lifestyle grows so does an idea to make him a very rich man. This book is a bit of a compulsive read and that says it all. I am forcing myself to stop and make myself a coffee or I would never escape my laptop today.

Wilma1

Knowing Liam Riley – please take a moment to take a look.

Rob,

You've got not only a great concept, but as someone who has visited third-world countries before, you execute it very well. You've clearly got a lot of knowledge about your setting, but I wasn't expecting your witty prose to take me along.

Great job! Backed! Looking forward to your thoughts on Head Games!

Kevin Alex Baker
Head Games

Dear Robert
totally original storyline, and your book cover attracted me the first time around and then the second as well. Yes i have commented and backed your book, however cannot find the backing so will do it again, because it is WORTH IT
the VERY best of luck
If you have not already , please comment on my book and BACK it if not that is OK also
Denise
The Letter

A very interseting book you have here, I WOULD BUY IT IF i SAW IT IN A BOOKSHOP, so I backed it - perhaps you could have a look at my books goodluck !

Charlie is an interesting and well developed character. Your descriptions are effective. For example, your description of the Stabroek market. You strengthen your narrative with apt similies such as 'like clumps of just-boiled broccoli' and clever metaphors like 'drowned by angry water.' Your dialogue is believable and propels your story. Your wit is spot on. Your pacing held my interest.

Nit:
"It has probably been stolen or it is lost Mr Fisher." Comma after 'lost.' When you address someone in dialogue, offset their name or title with commas.

This is an engaging, intelligent thriller with comedic elements. Backed.

What a fascinating read!

You covered so much in this story -- the human not so perfect nature as opposed to the nature and purity of land are the perfect background for the plot. Very conscious, intelligent, with broad understanding and observation of life, humans, their emotions, struggles, and lessons to learn. At the same time - extremely entertaining, visual, with fast pacing - superb writing skills!

Backed with true pleasure.

Johanna Kern
Master and the Green-Eyed Hope

Love the premise, and the story fairly rattles along. You have a great 'voice' and I think you will do very well with this. On my shelf.
Joanna Carter
Fossil Farm

This is amazing, I got hooked immediatly and pulled along effortlessly. The pace is great and your wonderful writing style brings it to life. E.Loraine Royal Blood Chronicles book one

First few chapters read. The rest saved for later. Characters very well drawn and the atmosphere neatly captured. Will look forward to reading more.

Philip John (Dead Reckoning/The Ambassador's Last Post)

Robert -

Many Rivers is a fast-paced story, masterfully written. Couldn't put the damn thing down.

Backed, happily.

And I would love it if you could take a look at my book (if you haven't already done so).

Best of luck here.

-Jeff Lee
THE LADIES TEMPERANCE CLUB'S FAREWELL TOUR

Great detail without being verbose - this story moves at a great pace. Fantastic opening and effortless writing. Good stuff.

Any book with fascinating locations and interesting situations receives my backing!

Stephan Zimmermann (panaxus)
NO RAPTURE

Dear Rob --

I don't know what I can add to the accolades you've received; your pacing is excellent, your ability to evoke Guyana in its tropical splendor-squalor fantastic, and your MC a flawed and likeable character. My two cents: I love the title. It's a book I would pick up to at least look at just for the title -- and then I would keep reading for the quality of your writing.

Pleased to return your backing for The Long Black Veil! -- Delhui

I've read two chapters and want to read more. I like the fast pace, the dialogue, the sense of danger--I'd like to get more into Charlie's head, get a better sense of who he is by now, what he's thinking.

Very promising!

DJ

I love the tone of this; it's got a nice film-noir type feel to it. The dialect is well done, too; it's easy to either over-do or leave it half-assed, but you've struck a good middle. There are a few minor editing issues, but nothing serious. This is easy to back.
CraigD
The Job

The writing is technically excellent. it reads very well and the pace and flow are both very good. You get across a sense of the place and of the man very well and keep things moving. It feels like an assured hand at work. Happy to back.

I nearly missed this, then i would have been kicking myself -It's fantastic!!!
The narrative is so well written and the depth of Story brilliant.
The humour built in is so, so good. - i REALLY ENJOYED THIS!

Enjoyed a first look, reading a few pages as time allows in here. Good hook and draws you in. Look forward to some more time to get know the characters and plot

Clive
Cincinnati Dancing Pig

You have an exxcellent command of the English Language and you portray inner angst very well. The story is face paced and the use of imagery and character development is exceedingly well done. Your smooth writing style took me deep into the book quickly. Backed with pleasure.

Andrew Burans
The Reluctant Warrior: The Beginning

Third person close is always hard to manage, but this is really good. His thought process is interesting and keeps the novel flowing. In addition, the reader gets a sense of menace without being hit over the head with it.
You do run into problems when he goes into the bar after the airport. He's drinking, surveying the scene and then BOOM he's outside near a parked car. If you don't want to write what he thinks while he's in the bar, just eliminate that scene, or move it to after he gets to the hotel. Most people don't stop at the airport bar after a flight anyway.
The only other thing I noticed is that Charlie doesn't notice much about his surroundings. Smells, sights, colors, (is the airport rundown, or modern? What does his room look like?) When people go to new countries, these are the sort of things they notice right away.
And, the mention of holding the bailiffs away? Is his wife in trouble? Is she lying to keep them from finding him? Didn't understand that.
You've got a good story here, and the writing skill to pull it off.
Julie Farkas
Morning Call
You've

I guess I didn't comment but I know I backed it. Anyways, this is very well written and a great story. I love your picture and the title is not only accurate but appealing. I just liked it period. BACKED

Greetings Robert!

The Land of Many Rivers is a delightful read, and extremely rich with vivid imagery! The geographical locations, character descriptions, and dialogue incorporated into the storyline are impeccable! "A slow fear was digesting his heart, like an anaconda swallowing a pig." - classic line ripe with the imagery I was alluding to! "'Two tirty tree fa two,' he (the Indian man) said..." Another great example of the richness injected into your story- the dialogue you've created keeps the story plausible! And, as the reader continues, he presses on with desire to find out why Charlie Fisher harbors this peculiar fear! Nicely executed, Robert! Backed.

Teric Darken

(K - I - L - L FM 100 / U-TURN KiLLuR)

I found this an exciting fast paced read and agree with all the comments below. It is the start to a magnificent adventure. I like the wit. Getting into a car with a machete and a sawn-off shot gun on the back seat is a great end to a chapter and page turner. I love striking metaphors like, 'A slow fear was digesting his heart like an anaconda swallowing a pig,'
Happily backed
Christina

Hi Robert,
A very entertaining read, you've really nailed the atmosphere, the heat the poverty. I'll certainly be crossing Guyana off my places to see list. I couldn't help but smile when Shivinarine stuck the gun out the window of his car and came to Charlie's rescue, your characters have real depth and personality.
Paul.

Rob,
You've got something here. A few nitpicks. There are several instances of excess wordiness (I do the same a lot, as my creative writing professor like to point out to me all too often). For instance in the sentence where the steward retrieves the empty bottles, it would be easier and smoother to say "The stewardess collected the empty mini-bottles that had accumulated and gave him a reassuring smile." I've never been to Guyana (so this could be nothing at all), but none of the airports I've been to allow smoking in baggage claim. And whenever I've flown internationally, immigration is the first stop, prior to baggage claim.
Try to avoid adverbs when possible. They weaken good writing. Just describe the action.
Now for the good stuff. This is strong writing. It's quick and easy to read. I especially enjoyed the use of dialect with Shivnarine. I could hear the voice and that's what I like.
You develop tension quickly, which is a must, yet you do it subtly. No one likes the tension thrown in their faces. So good job. It all points to good, exciting and interesting things to come.

All the best to you,
Stephen ~The Guardians~

No frills page-turning fiction for a change.

I love what I have read of this - from the first description of Charlies fear - "An anaconda swallowing a pig"..... Fast paced and incredibly atmospheric, I am sure it will do well. I am determined to finish it at some point!
good luck
Hatts

Land of Many Rivers:

Interesting first two chapters with likable characters and good dialogue.

Always nice to visit other countries via books, and you do a great job of bringing right into the scenes in this one.

Writing very good, just needs a little tightening (but don’t we all need to do that?). Just a couple of suggestions here from Ch one only but I’d check throughout for these nagging little 'waslings' along with ‘began to’ and ‘started to’ .
…was disgesting his heart/digested his heart? …who was leaning/ who leaned…was hanging/hung
…dis’road.” he said, -little typo with full stop instead of comma after ‘road’.

All the best and have already backed this.

cáit :o)

Hello Rob, Despite not being my normal read, I like this. I feel that it has a kind of dark, comedic reality to it. Your characters are wonderful and they simply fly off the page, and together with your descriptive prose, makes this book really enjoyable. There are some tremendous hooks here too which makes you want to read on and on... got to chapter six without thinking. Now I really do not have any more time as I am going down to Cornwall tomorrow morning for a week, but I will come back for more asap. I think that this would make a good film. Nothing much to criticise. SHELVED with pleasure. Can't think how I've missed this one.

Phyllis
A Passing Storm (Would you have a look at this for me please?)

Hi Rob,

I read the first chapter and without any hesitation moved to chapter two. Great writing. I wasn't sure this wold be something that I liked after I read your pitch. Not that the pitch wasn't good...it was. I usually don't read this type of book, but the story, characters, and pace hooked me in! I will buy a copy when you get it published!

The only area that I could see that needed a bit of touch was in chapter two; you use a dusting of description describing your MC, Mr. Fisher. His hair ect. In this POV that didn't work for me. I would try to find another way of getting that in there.

Backed!

Dwayne

Wonderfully atmospheric, pulled me right into the tropics. I was expecting a more languid pace, but this rockets along, I read through chapter 5 before I even realized it. Nicely done.

Sessha

Hiya Rob, backed this already as you know, time to offer up a comment.

First up...I lived in Papua New Guinea for a few life altering years so the arrival scene in Guyana had me laughing in Familiarity...yep, exactly and my luggage was stolen as well..heheh. The machete and the sawn off shot gun in the taxi...yup. Ditto. Third world countries in the tropics sigh...I went tropo very fast...it was fun. Got outta there after 3 years before it became permanent.

The pacing is ultra fast, terrific in fact and each chapter hooks us happily into reading further..well done.

Diamond smuggling, and a very likeable MC, he does have a habit of falling on his arse and recovering-- I like that in a man...poor bugger.

I enjoyed it immensely and am so pleasee i had the good sense to back it.
Do yourselves a favour people have a damned good read of this one. You won't regret it.
Suzannah Burke
Dudes Down Under

I like this RObert,

Your descriptions of the scenes and your no-nonsense ability tio move the story along are big plusses. The sense of humour also attracts me to this book. I have no hesitation in backing it.

George Fripley - Wurzel of Clutton