Artemis Rising

Broadly put, this is masterful storytelling. Every once in awhile I find a read that immerses me in a different place and time so vividly that the world melts away and time slips by unnoticed. Six chapters in and Artemis Rising is utterly enthralling. Anyone who skims through the first chapter and stops there is doing themselves a huge disservice. This is one of those stories that deepens and twists and layers more and more with each chapter.

There are several facets in which the storytelling here is above and beyond good. The conflict of faith (the strict traditions of Catholicism vs. the beliefs of paganism); the conflict between characters (Eva embracing her beliefs to become Arethusa and Pai's revulsion of it, the darkly troubled Diogo vs. the gentleness of Tristao); the mystical scenes with Alpheus and Artemis that convey us to another plane; and the imagery and detail that paint and solidify the world in which Arethusa walks. Not an element is lacking.

And then, on a simpler level, there is the ongoing tension between Arethusa's commitment to chastity and Diogo's pursuit of her. Need I mention this has been on my shelf for some time and shall remain until after I have finished it? Absolutely lovely.

All the best,
Gemi

You are an incredible gifted storyteller and master of the English (and Portuguese) language. What wonderful imagery. I was there with Eva/Arethusa every step of the way. So powerful and immediately engrossing. I couldn't believe the intensity of feelings I felt from the very beginning all the way through. Your descriptions perfectly created the tragic atmosphere of your heroine's plight. I cannot wait to read more. Simply breathtaking. And what a wonderful recreating of one of my most beloved Islands!

Shelved.
Jenni James
The Northanger Affect

Hi Cheri! Well, I've read through chapter 4 so far, and I am more than a little worried about Tristao's promise not to let anything hurt Arethusa ever again -- the blue eyes are his (you make no bones about it, lining up the VERY interesting triangulation cleanly and without fuss), but they were asking FORGIVENESS in the vision...interestingly, if *Diogo* was remotely apologetic in HIS vision-appearance, we don't hear about it. And thus far it's Diogo who has reason to apologize. Actually, an apology wouldn't even cut it; Diogo goes from vaguely enticing background character STRAIGHT to hellish persecutor in his VERY first appearance, and there are no words for how distressed I was to hear Mae claim that he was somehow supposed to be Arethusa's fated lover! The ambiguity in the scrying is particularly important, I think; of course I was curious to see what would turn up from it, but there's nothing worse than knowing EXACTLY what's supposed to happen. So while I have no meaningful doubt that we have a potent and real Artemis in this story-world, even though Arethusa is committed to the Goddess, she doesn't and we don't know exactly what it is that Artemis really WANTS. Nor the extent of what Artemis can do. Obviously Arethusa doesn't believe that all other religions are inherently void and false; she takes the trouble to take down the crucifix. And that's an interesting triangulation too: again, Arethusa may LEAN to one side or the other, or even COMMIT to one side or the other, but it remains that both sides of the religion issue offer a mix of good and bad, just as both of her potential lovers do. And yet choose she still must. A really nice mix of personal drama with big-picture issues! Oh, and as a side note -- I love the idea of nineteenth-century crypto-pagans...!

I thoroughly enjoyed this story, but in glancing through some of the earlier comments on the work, I feel I must agree with K A Smith's note about the relationship between Diogo and his father. I thought the whole tone of the story felt older than late nineteenth century, particularly with the story opening in Massachusetts with an accusation of witchcraft. For me, that particular setting and that particular accusation combined to set the story back another couple of hundred years from the stated opening of 1893, and Eva's father's strictness concerning her relationship with men only reinforced the earlier historical setting. It all felt rather Puritan to me, but it didn't detract from the story, which is very well-written.

This is no simplistic tale for fifth graders. This involves interwoven themes that you wouldn’t originally think complementary. It is the authors skill that makes them complementary. There are no loose ends, no chunks of story just sitting in space, each character has a purpose and no one just drops out of sight with no explanation. Oh, did I mention this all takes place in an exotic Portuguese setting? And that the author thoughtfully includes an index at the back for those of us far less versed in certain terms used in the book? It is obvious that Cheri Lasota spent a good deal of time and effort on this novel and it works. I recommend it for young adults and those seeking a beautiful romantic interest.

Artemis Rising.

All that follows is one relatively uninformed persons opinion and should be taken as no more than the rantings of a disaffected cat-herd (unless of course I say something you agree with).

I read all you posted and would have happily kept reading, despite this not being a genre I would typically read, so you captured my attention better than many on Authonomy. So thank you.

An interesting introduction to your main characters, the dedication ceremony being disrupted by the violently disapproving father. The third person seems to work well for you, kept focused as it is on Eva (I occasionally wondered whether first person might not work better, as it is common in YA, though I have no idea if there will be a switch of viewpoint or focus after the first 4 chapters).

Characterisation is well handled, nobody is too broad or too sketchy. The villains of the piece arouse appropriate ire, though I feel I could have more sympathy for the Arethusas. I think it is her mother's fatalism and Eva's apparent acceptance of it that got to me here. The incipient love triangle with the weight of divine sanction behind it is nicely set up, as is the ambiguity, with Eva seeing blue eyes, (that can't be her own, surely...) and her mother seeing Diogo.

I found the prospect of Arethusa being caught between a pagan heritage and a Catholic milieu intriguing, but the decision appears to have been made, she is going with the pagan side. Although this has my sympathy, it means the inner turmoil preceding this has been dealt with, so I can't read about it. Shucks. Still, the story appears to be heading off with some purpose and I assume that the plot will carry on in this manner.

I felt the writing to be a little slow, things happen at a fair old rate, but there is a sense of unvarying tone to the writing, without particular highs and lows in the mode of expression. It feels as though it could benefit from varying the pace a little (use of short sentences and vigorous phrases, for example), rather than keeping it so consistent. Apart from this reservation, the writing is fluent and I can find little to fault in it.

I wondered about this particularly Greek expression of paganism in a Portuguese milieu in New Bedford and the Azores, it seemed a bit of an anatopism, if I can coin such a word. I assume you have a reason for it, but it eluded me, and I kinda like knowing the why of things when I read. Also I didn't have a very clear idea of period, the only key word here was clipper, which implies 1840-1870-ish. This seemed a little late for the feudal feel of the relationship of Diogo to the Marquez, as a for example. This lack of a clear era left me a little adrift, as it were.

In chapter 3 you use a compound 'prayer kneelers', tuffet or hassock might do instead?

Very believable characters. Your use of words is delightful and you write with a natural flow. Great story line and beautifully written. Backed with pleasure. Eunice - The Temple Dancer.

Dear Cheri
this long pitch of your gives a very real indication of the book, CONGRATS firstly on a good pitch but also a really good book. it was the book cover that caught me the
first time around and then the second as well. Yes i have commented and backed your book, however cannot find the backing so will do it again, because it is WORTH IT
the VERY best of luck
If you have not already , please comment on my book and BACK it if not that is OK also
Denise
The Letter

You capture the reader's attention by the end of paragraph 6 in "Daughter of the Moon" compelling the reader to read on. You quickly develope your compelling storyline and introduce your MC Eva. All of this is well done. You also develope the characters of Eva and Tristan very well. Yours is a very poignant love story and your descriptive writing ensures that your work will appeal to the YA audience. Backed.

Andrew Burans
The Reluctant Warrior: The Beginning

I love this genre and this is just wonderful, a beautiful descriptive style, well drawn and relateable characters let you feel like you are right there with them. Good luck with it. E.Loraine Royal Blood Chronicles book one

Artemis Rsing

Your opening is super and you draw the reader intantly. No time wasted here and that's good. The story unfolds beautifully and the suspense with the father is chilling. Page turner for sure.

Love this

Backed

hullo Cheri. This is a very good story about another time and place. Your control of imaging and charecters is great. Already shelved and backed.
Please take a look at my book and thanks for that.
Linda Lou Long
Southern dis-Comfort
http://www.authonomy.com/ViewBook.aspx?bookid=11421

I love your writing style. It just flows and flows. The story telling is masterly and the plot captivating. I can't wait to read more and its definitely worthy of backing. Good Luck. Jennie (Lies and Betrayal)

Not something I would normally consider buying at a shop, but I can certainly appreciate you excellent writing. Artemis Rising is a good read and the pace runs smoothly through the first chapter. I wish I had more time to devote to your book but there are simply not enough hours in the day!

I wish you the very best of luck.
Aimee xxx
His Pride, Her Prejudice

Artemis Rising

This was a great find!
And while it’s very well structured, and looks very well researched it is an absolutely fantastic read!
This has an immense storyline that is very well told, I could go on with the superlatives. I did find (for me) a shortage of descriptive sound in the narrative, the only other thing, you haven’t put it all up!!! A brilliant read. – Good luck

Good story. Personally, I doubt any belief system that places heavy reliance on ritual, ritual objects and ceremony. Surely belief is more important than a particular stone or bowl, icon or relic? But that's personal bias.
The writing is excellent.
phil

This is very well written and intensely atmospheric. But were people really that concerned about witches in the late 19th century? And were they not more a matter of Irish and English folklore than of Greek, having been the derisive term for the Earth Goddess worshipping Wiccans?

This is an interesting story. Because your pitch lists it as historical fiction, I expected to find it dry reading, probably with stiff dialogue. And it's not that way at all. You have come-alive characters and set this in one the world's most beautiful locations. Good going. Burgio (Grain of Salt).

I've read Chapter 1 of ARTEMIS RISING and find it very entertaining.

I love stories about Wicca because it is a religion that honours femininity (and I am a woman!) and therefore provides a wonderful, mysterious canvas on which to paint social comment about women's issues. Contrary to commonly-held beliefs, witchcraft is not devil worship. It is not a Christian-based religion and therefore doesn't include the concepts of devil, hell, or heaven. This leads me to wonder if "I curse you. I curse you." is okay? I do know, some hexing goes on, but cursing? I'm not so sure. Perhaps. I'm not an expert.

Cheri, you write beautifully! I stumbled once, though. "Eva glanced up. Though she hadn't broken the tree-line yet..." I read it that Eva hadn't broken the tree-line yet. In my defence, Eva was the last "she" mentioned!

Best luck with story. Ummmm....yes....hold on... yes...one moment...it's coming to me now.... I see a publisher in your future....

Eileen Schuh Canadian Author FIREWALLS

What can I say that hasn't been said? You've got a great story here. Best of luck with it.

Shelved.
Dan-
Eunice Stubbins, among others...

Cheri, your first chapter swept me into the second. I enjoyed the good mix of narrative and dialogue. Nothing to nitpick in these first two chapters. Good work.

Shelved!

Joffrey (The Silver Spoon Effect)

Beautifully written with a gorgeous inevitability about many of the sentences, as if each of the words has been finely chiselled into its slot. As a result the created world rises off the pages like a smoke and enfolds us in its atmosphere. But it isn’t just beautiful writing. The narrative is strong and focused too and we’re soon in the midst of an absolutely captivating story.

Cheri,


I perused through "Daughter of the Moon" in Artemise Rising. Eva and Mae lured me in from their onset and the story of the book began to unfold right before my eyes. Wow, what a writer! You are gifted to do this and from your profile info. it looks as if a motion deal in teetering of being in the works. Hats off to you.

With Regards,

Mark

I have just started reading this. I felt sure that i had already read and commented, but this is not a story I would forget. The story telling is superb - and the writing is fluent. Expert, even. I can't see how you can fail with a pearl such as this. Good luck!

Rarely do I find something I like so much on Authonomy that I want to read more and cannot draw myself away, rarely do I find anything I quite lose myself in, and very rarely do I find something that I am truly amazed by and that holds me in awe, but this, after reading only one instalment, appears to be one of those precious few.

Within a short section you show developed characters, the scenery is believable and your writing is colourful. I hope to read more soon, and I hope to see this in print. I may even pass this on to some (pagan) friends, and passing on is something I haven't felt the urge to do before on Authonomy.

Bobby
Dented Sensation

Artemis Rising is a beautifully written tale, full of elegant prose and vivid descriptions. The first scene feels real and magical at the same time. I do like the moral questions, the eternal conflicts that you weave into the story and that makes me want to read more.

On my shelf,
Ana G. Ram

This is lyric and beautiful, and I am feverish and too muddle-headed to leave a worthy comment today! Onto my shelf.

Ruth/Base Spirits

Hi Cheri

This is a beautifully written story and you have a lovely writing voice. I would buy this if it were published and I know that my teenage step daughter would enjoy this immensely too.
I am backing with pleasure.
Sarah. T-cup and The Dream Team Fairies

Ceri,
Impressively constructed and executed. The blend of fantasy and reality is a love of mine and you've done it so well.
The storyline flows beautifully, appropriate, reality-adding details enhancing it.
Characters are delineated well and the pacing fits the story.
Enough said: others have confirmed it.
Backed.

Alan-Time of the Avatar

There is such a fragility to your writing, and i can't help but be swept away with it. Backed, not only because it deserves to be, but because I would buy it if it were published. Good luck, and do update it... I really need to know what happens with Arethusa and Tristan!

No more a daughter of God... but heh, a daugher of writing.
Incredible stuff. Evocative. Entertaining. Wonderous.
A good pace set with efficient dialogue and descrition. A pleasure to read, with a theme that is enchanting.

BACKED

Cheri, very engaging story even if it is not my usual kind of read. Excellent writing. Perfect mix of dialogue and exposition. Backed.
Thomas J Winton (Beyond Nostagia)

I enjoyed this, good solid prose and an engaging story. Definitely hooked by the pitch. Not much to crit. Well done, Jim D Serpent's Blood

Highly polished, enjoyable read.

Good luck with it.

Melxx
Impeding Justice

Your book just came to my attention. I'm busy and with commitments in the next couple of days. I have WL tagged this so I can have a leisurely gander on Christmas eve.

From just snippets taken in thus far - wow! For me, ranking is less important (when in or around top 100) than visibility, peer review and encouragement and a sturdy faith in one's craft. And so.. persevere. I am looking forward to a deeper exploration. I'm already struck by the eloquence. I must check the plot.

Regards,

Alexander

A very enticing story and beautifully written.

Already shelved.

Mia

Firstly, sorry for the delay in this comment. I love a good romance story. I'm swamped at the moment and struggling for time so only read the first chapter, but based on it this is definately a backer.
Enjoyed and backed.
Leigh Fallon
The Carrier of the Mark

Very imaginative piece for the YA market. PErsonally, i would have simply listed catholic atrociities.

Anway, fine characteriastion together with dialogue really build the story. Well written throughout what i read. A pleasure really, but due to the fact that i get a lot crazy when talking about religion, i am keeping my mouth absolutely shut, before i write something that will get me shot.

BACKED

Dear Cheri Lasota,

Thank you for sharing your story with us. I always find the themes of fate vs choice interesting, so I eager to begin your story. I skipped to chapter seven and was rewarded with a charming scene between a woman with injured legs and a young man with beautiful long fingers. They share intimacy through his private treasure trove of memorabilia. He makes himself vulnerable and trusts her to read the only words left of his father, or mother, rather. This poignant scene builds a foundation for a later relationship between these characters, and as a reader, I’m eager to read more to find out. Diogo is sufficiently brutish to make me worry for the protagonist and Tristao, creating a great hook for the next chapter.

Bravo! Backed.

Best wishes,
Alan Marling

Cheri,
I am not a Romance reader, but you caught me with the Catholic versus pagan pitch.

What’s in a name? Evoking the stream nymph and the river god that pursues her, the very names foreshadow the plot as Eva takes the name of a mythological stream nymph. Even the name of the ship that takes them on their journey, the Sea Nymph, evokes eva’s flight from Elpheus.

The chapters end with phrases or scenes that leave the reader needing to know what happens nest: ‘This time Pai, you cannot stop us’; will Diogo take Eva’s chastity?; the ship foundering on the rocks. Excellent technique.

Diogo is driven by the desire to have what he cannot in natural opposition to Eva’s vow to remain chaste. We want to know who will win. However, I wonder if naming the chapter Elpheus gives away too much before the scene is played out as well as saying outright that Diogo is Elpheus. It reminds me of Edgar Sawtelle. Once we realize the story is Hamlet, we know what is going to happen.

That said, Artemis Rising is a well constructed tale with vivid, compelling prose. Excellent dialog reveals the characters personalities. The atmosphere is mysterious: pagan religions, ceremonies, mythologies. I absolutely love your writing style.

Backed with delight,
Galen – The Psalter

Artemis Rising:

Cheri, I saw your book on Annie C's shelf and couldn't resist clicking on it after just reading the short pitch.

Excellent writing, here, excellent first chapter, it filled with conflict and fear for Eva and her mother. I'm going to back it after reading the first chapter but I'm definitely curious to find out what happens to mother and daughter when they land. I mentioned to Annie that What We May Be would make a great film. I say this also about Artemis Rising. And it shouldn't have a red arrow...

All the best,

Cáit ~ Muckers ~

Hi Cheri,
It would be impossible for me to offer anything by way of constructive criticism. This is a highly polished and beautifully written MS. You should be very proud. You manage to hook the reader (me) even though this is not something I would usually pick up and buy. I am really quite envious of your skill. I really enjoyed chapter 4, the tenderness between Arethusa and Tristaos was charming. Great characters.
Best wishes
Sue

I have abandoned my notes and want to say only that my greatest enjoyment was the lilt and rhythm of your prose, the subtle description. Memorable, in particular, was 'slipping quicksilver through her veins' which reminds me of a garden spider's web on a frosty day and yet conveys much greater import.
Your Pagan world opened my eyes to some misconceptions that linger from my own schooling although now, as I suppose a Christian mystic, I could still feel a powerful empathy with Eva.
As I read on, I grew more curious to anticipate the points of departure you would choose to unfold and perhaps resolve her conflict.
Apart from this, my own delight was your unique style of prose which cannot be analysed but only absorbed. I thought the vividness and delicacy of description stemmed from the exotic setting but I suspect it also originates from the author's own sensibility. Shelved.
Ray
(A Child from the Wishing Well)

Hmm, i approached this with trepidation and despite being blinded by the quality if the language ( I didn't always know what was going on) have found it to be rich and intriguing. You build up to the eventual slap and denunciation of the father well, it sort of frames the chapter and gives it its emphasis. A very interesting book and sure to have lots of fans. backed.

Thankfully, the dialogue was neither laboured or affected in this, which I so often find in historical novels. You have a lyrical style which, whilst quite wordy is poetically so. You write with a undulating rhythm that is quite hypnotic at times.

I wish you the best of luck with this, and have backed it with pleasure. Cx

This is a book which builds excitement. The characters, Mae, Eva, Pia, later Diogo and Tristao, are all alive and interesting, especially Eva and Diogo. The first scene, when Pia interrupts the ceremony, and then showed Mae 'the meaning of obedience,' is full of horror, more by what it refrains from saying than for what it says. Intertwined with the real lives of the human characters are the myths, the character of Alpheus who comes to Eva, or Arethusa. There is poetry in the writing as you describe the mythical element, such as,'her body became liquid and transparent,' and 'slipping with insidious silence behind her,' in contrast to the more straightforward style in which you describe Eva's encounter with Diogo. You show your descriptive ability in the first scene, also, in sentences like,'She smelled the warm smoke of the candleflame, touched the grit of the boulder's rough surface.' This is a book which deserves to be successful. Backed.
Gerry McCullough,
Belfast Girls.

Not my favorite genre, but the quality of the writing is exceptional. This is truly absorbing with fantastic imagery and a great beginning. Backed.

Historical fiction, my favourite genre and my word, this didn't disapppoint. Intense and restrained excellence and a pure joy to read.
I can see many before have extolled the virtues of this book so I shall not attempt to repeat. This is not only a fascinating story but one in which every word must be savoured.
I only comment as a reader and with admiration for your superb skills, it's a pleasure to shelve. Margaret.

Your pitch caught my attention right away, since my best friend is a Catholic-turned-Wiccan-turned-“spiritual eclectic” (best label I can come up with).

Historical fiction tends to be hit-or-miss with me, and I expect it would be the same with much of the YA audience. The key, I think, is telling a story that speaks to the reader as relevant to them, although set in the past. (Teenagers really hate suffering through anything they see as irrelevant.) You’ve accomplished this nicely, as I think many young people experience feeling torn between things – two worlds, two expectations, two dreams.

This is one of few books on this site I would easily read through to the end.

Only one nit in three chapters: There was a little repetition in ch 2, saying twice that if Pai found them, there would be hell to pay. Could work for emphasis, but felt more like déjà-vu. That's it.

Putting this on my shelf, and making a note to come back and read more.

R.C. Lewis (Fingerprints)

What a story-teller you are. After your atmospheric and intense first chapter, I had to read on, and found myself wholly caught-up in your narrative. The world that you conjure is somehow both immediate and exotic, and is beguiling for that. This is the sort of writing in which it is impossible to discern the workings, the scaffolding and the glue: it is effortless to read, which speaks of careful crafting and polishing, and your setting is convincing without ever once feeling like a history lesson. I felt comfortable in it – so much so, that I forgot about being a reviewer and just became a reader, lost in an engrossing story. I would buy this.

Very interesting, very well written, easy to be swept away with. Backed with pleasure. Regards, Gordon Kuhn

What a powerful and evocative story. -shelved

There is much mystery and a sense of ancient powers rising in this story. I'm impressed by this story and your writing skills. Moving the action to a ship in #2 & #3 gives the story a claustrophobic feel that I think suits the dedication of Arethusa better than cornfields. I didn't spot anything that could remotely be called an error. Brilliant.

John Booth (Shaddowdon)

You've chosen the perfect place to begin this book, and the proper amount of back history has been given. Eva's character is compelling, her troubles easy to relate to (even if a bit different from the average girl's). The story flows well (from what I've read) and the premise is original and interesting.

Shelved.
Andrea
The Key of Kilenya