Book Jacket

 

rank  Editors Pick
word count 15287
date submitted 05.02.2009
date updated 12.07.2011
genres: Fiction, Fantasy, Comedy
classification: universal
incomplete

Shakespeare's Cuthbert

Patrick Barrett

An unknown play by Shakespeare found in the valley? Will the strangers find it or can the even stranger inhabitants prevent it from being found?

 

Have you read Shakespeare's Romeo & Juliet? Have you read Shakespeare's Midsummer Night's Dream? Have you read Macbeth? Have you read Shakespeare's Cuthbert?!! What if there was an unknown play by William Shakespeare and the secret was known only to the 'real valley folk' and they weren't letting on?!! What if there was a way to infiltrate the valley and join the ranks of these theatre-obsessed folks? What if that chance came your way, would you take it? Would you risk all in an almost alien environment like the valley? An influx of strangers think the play is only too real and they are determined to find it. Can the real valley folk keep the secret? Is there even a secret?

In this tale full of satirical humour, word plays and highly questionable characters, Cuthbert, adrift amongst his fellow eccentrics adds even more confusion without actually being fully aware of the consequences and the impact on the valley.

It is the first in the series involving Cuthbert and the valley folk. This book is finished and every book is a different adventure revolving around evolving characters.

 
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tags

comedy, eccentrics, fantasy, puns, satire, satirical humour, shakespeare, word play

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Chapter One

SHAKESPEARE’S CUTHBERT

Chapter One

The crow tilted one wing and rode the thermals diagonally across the valley.  He could see it all from here - scattered houses and a farm nestled in a fold of the earth below him.  Whoever had designed the crow had been truly inspired.  The way the head stuck out in front gave a panoramic view without the wings obscuring threats or danger.  The colour wasn’t perfect as it made formation flying at night an absolute bugger.

    Some birds covered miles every day in search of food or at least the chance of something interesting to stare at.  However, the crow was content with the valley.  The occupants and their habits kept him riveted as he tried to fathom out why humans made life so complicated.  They built houses and didn’t leave the roofs open for a start, how would a crow take flight in emergency with a roof over its nest?  And doors?  Why shut something behind you when it would only be in the way again next time you came out? 

The crow glided closer to the farm and watched someone head into a barn with an empty bucket.  He recognised this one, he was about to feed the chickens and by association supply the crow with breakfast. 

The chap who ran the farm seemed to be the same chap who dealt with dead people.  He made a huge job of wrapping them in cloth, fastening them into a box and then burying the lot on top of the hill. 

Even a crow knows that bodies are best left out at night for the local fox. Spreading his wings and fluttering a few feathers to adjust his trim, the crow landed gracefully on top of a fence.  One wing caught a rake propped carelessly nearby and the implement slid sideways hitting the barn door and opening the latch.  The door creaked open ominously.

Cuthbert watched the crow land, he watched the rake fall and he watched the barn door as it finished creaking and crashed open. 

He was faced with four angry tons of bow-legged malevolence, he stared. The bull stared back.

Cuthbert wasn’t prone to panicking.  The messages didn’t usually get there in time for his reactions to get their boots on, so he continued to cross the farmyard nonchalantly swinging the bucket of chicken feed. 

This was the first time the bull had experienced apathy.  Sheer abject terror was the norm and it paused. The bull pawed the ground in anger, playing for time to allow this idiot in front of him to recognise him and scream.

The chickens were bobbing about as if one of them had lost a contact lens before they spotted Cuthbert and appeared from everywhere like demented snowflakes. 

The bull ponderously swung its mighty head to watch the distraction, his horns gleaming with intent.  When the head swung back, Cuthbert was gone. The bull charged into the middle of the farmyard skidding to a halt as if ‘El Cordobes’ himself was out there. 

    The expression ‘Bull Market’ was a bit of a mystery because bulls were not the fastest thinkers around and when they found themselves in any type of market it was pretty much, ‘game over.’ This one swung his head from side to side and gradually wondered why the chickens were congregating around the horse trough.  Not wanting to appear slow compared to a chicken, the bull ambled over. 

Cuthbert gibbered silently.  He could feel the ground shake. ‘Think. Cuthbert,’ he urged himself, ‘Analyse your resources.’ Cuthbert looked around.  He was behind a horse trough and he had a metal bucket and a flock of chickens.  He briefly wondered how badly a bucketful of chickens would hurt a bull.  Perhaps it was best not to annoy it.

    The bull had met chickens before.  They did not share social skills with each other.  He usually just walked all over them.  He sneezed as a sudden burst of feathers appeared under his hooves.

    Cuthbert had a plan.  He would suddenly jump up and strike the metal bucket against the iron water pump on the trough.  If he shouted at the same time, the noise should startle the bull and he could run for the house. 

    The chickens clacked and chattered as he swept them away from the bucket. 

Leaping up, Cuthbert bellowed and swung the bucket, missing the pump and striking the bull right on the nose.  Both man and bull went cross-eyed and gasped.  One, at the realisation of what had happened and the other at the realisation of what was about to happen.  Cuthbert ran.

    The bull roared, nobody was allowed to embarrass him in front of a chicken.  He charged. One horn snapped the pump clean off and a geyser of water shot into the air.  He firmly stamped one hoof into the metal bucket and was enveloped by a cloud of corn chips.  The deluge from the pump turned the corn into a paste almost immediately and he ran blindly, clumping across the yard in search of Cuthbert.

    Cuthbert had managed to reach his washing line, he now had rope and a set of signal flags. Was it ‘red rag to a bull’ and white to surrender?  It didn’t really matter, a bachelor farmer’s clothing usually ceased to be white the second it came out of the packaging. Cuthbert advanced steadily towards the bull holding out a red flannel shirt.

The bull snorted out two jets of super-heated steam as it peered through the congealed mess all over its face.  ‘Is this clown coming to wipe my eyes?’ he thought in disbelief. 

Cuthbert struck a pose and shook the red shirt.

The bull tensed and charged.  The clanking increased rapidly as the bull picked up speed. 

Cuthbert stepped nimbly to one side, allowing the bull to crash into the huge stone gate-post. 

The bull was stunned. 

Cuthbert smiled, made a mental note to buy a new bucket and went to put the kettle on.  The bull slowly clanked back to the barn for a lie down.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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HarperCollins Wrote


I think the author has a very comical writing style in places particularly at the beginning. The opening certainly grabs the reader’s attention as the storyline is left completely open. I think the humour of the am-dram group is also quite funny in places.

The author’s writing style lends itself very well to short story writing and at times I felt that this would have worked better as a short story than a novel submission. One of the cons of this book was that there was very little sense of plot development and extension. This rather curt style could lend itself better to a short story where the reader is left guessing and enjoys guessing. In a novel this can often be rather frustrating if it spans over several-hundred pages (particularly when the author has the space for development).

For the majority of the manuscript I felt like I was reading half a submission. There was no chapter 3 and I couldn’t tell if this was a typo or if the entire chapter had been left out. There needs to be much more fluidity between chapters and also character development. We know that Cuthbert is an undertaker with a theatre group but why? How did they get together? Why do they put on plays? What purpose does the vault story serve? How important are the Mandrake family to the overall plot? The plot jumps so far that you are left trying to fill in the blanks.

The chapters were incredibly short which again did not allow room for any sort of development. Perhaps the writer was conscious of wanting to keep up a sense of pace (which works well in crime and thriller). For this sort of material however you do need to provide enough detail to the reader (in the same way that the start of the book was very well depicted and painted a great image in the reader’s mind). Again I felt like I was reading an unfinished manuscript so I just had a taste of each chapter rather than the complete m/s.

Overall I don’t think there is enough of a story within this manuscript to be published as a novel. I do think there is some mileage in the plot so I wonder if a short story (where the background/characterisation/plot has to be well condensed) would work better. The author certainly has a comic edge and at times it reminded me of The Elephant Keeper which we have just published. I would try and focus on this manuscript looking at how the plot could be better explained and how each of the characters could be more interwoven.

PATRICK BARRETT wrote 702 days ago

This was really unfortunate, the segment we submitted to authonomy ended at a point where the story seemed to end so it is quite understandable that it was taken for a short story. Other writers please note, this is an easy mistake to make (The missing characters begin to reappear). In actual fact the book is complete at 65,000 words and is the first in a series of books using the same characters. The story is designed to meander in much the same way as the valley and Cuthbert progress through life but I realise that this is not acceptable to the purists. I cannot understand the missing chapter three because it has always been there on authonomy.
In the end, this is my first book and I have no writing training at all and I have learnt more from being on authonomy than I ever could have without it. Thank you.

fifi wrote 945 days ago

Hi Patrick, finished it and loved it. Have been getting some very funny looks from other people as well, because I've been laughing too much! I would very much like to read the end of it if you ever consider that sort of thing.
Personnaly I think it's fine as a novel - in a different sort of way - but then as I'm not an editor, I just read copiously - what would I know? lol.
I really hope someone picks this up, it would make a great film as a modern version of hapless idiot leaves chaos in his wake in the same vein as the fabulous Charlie Chaplin & Buster Keaton movies.
Funnier by far than anything I've seen starring the so called modern equivalents like Lee Evans.
Loved it :-)

Thetinman wrote 875 days ago

"The chickens were bobbing as if one of them had lost a contact lens..."
Hilarious! This is definitely a keeper and certainly backed!!!!
Paul
We've Seen the Enemy

R.A. Battles wrote 1076 days ago

Patrick,

WOW! Shakespeare’s Cuthbert is much more than a humorous fantasy. It has literary merit and easily would appeal to a large, diverse audience.

Agents and editors usually form an initial opinion after reading the first paragraph, the first page, and the first chapter. Your first paragraph provides a nice visual of the crow flying over the landscape in a way that lets the reader know they’re going to be in for some laughs. You introduce us to Cuthbert on the first page, not just cavalierly, but in a very visual way. I love the way you describe the bull as “four angry tons of bow-legged malevolence.”

By the time a reader finishes the first chapter, it is apparent that you have crafted a nice piece of work. The way one of the chickens was bobbing about as if it had lost a contact lens is a brilliant piece of writing.

I also like the way you allow us to get to know Cuthbert a little at a time, such as waiting until chapter six to reveal that he is an undertaker by profession.

I could spend all afternoon commenting on the creative and colorful choice of words, your unique voice, and your klatch of intriguing characters. Instead, why don’t I just shelved this and continue reading. I hope you make it to the ED.

Rodney

Amelia C wrote 50 days ago

So far I am up to Chapter 11, and will finish the other chapters later. I absolutely love it!
“Even a crow knows that bodies are best left out at night for the local fox”, had me hooked in chapter one. By the second chapter I felt completely drawn in. The characters, especially the hapless Cuthbert, are well crafted and comical, and the words creative and well chosen. I can just see these people in any given rural English village, lost in time. Hilarious!
I think Shakespeare’s Cuthbert will have a very far-reaching and diverse readership appeal.
You are the first I have backed!

Daniel Raven wrote 244 days ago

That's NICE... You write exactly the kind of sentences I'd like to write!

Susanna.K.James wrote 549 days ago

Very humorous Patrick. I loved the first Chapter! (I've met that Bull!)

I'm sorry HC didn't take it further but their advice could be very helpful. Good luck for the future.

Susanna

whostercogburn wrote 577 days ago

Hi Paula. I've just got round to reading the first two chapters of Patrick's 'Cuthbert,' and it makes such a nice change to come across something new, fresh and genuinely funny. So many 'authors' on this site are wannabe Dan Brown's or JK Rowling's, and it gets tedious. I hope Patrick gets better soon, he's one of the very few real writers I've seen thus far. PS. I've already got my backing from you, so perhaps there is such a thing as a free lunch!

Narwhon wrote 585 days ago

Yes short chapters but disregarding that, there is somewhat of a similarity to Terry Prachett's style of writing. However, I like the offhand humour. Backed.
Cheers, B. Cameron Lee (Diary of a Serial Killer)

healthpolicymaven wrote 586 days ago

Hi there,
I read the first 4 chapters and the 18th. This is a fast paced dark comedy and I loved the crow's observations in the first chapter, really clever. It is nice the way you anthropomorphise with the animals and also go back to the human(s) in the story line. That said, it reminds me a lot of Babe, the pig series a few years back. I will put it on my watch list.
Congratulations on getting the first one published, this one will follow right along.
Roberta

Wilma van Oort wrote 587 days ago

Patrick, I really enjoyed reading your manuscript. It is comical, very clear and it draws the reader in from the very beginning.

Backed,
Please take some time to look at my novel, Caleb's Quest.

Wilma

Dolores A wrote 591 days ago

Delightful, creative and witty. Backed. Hope you are feeling well again soon.

aweber wrote 600 days ago

Very entertaining. You have a unique sense of humor, a "Hitchhiker's Guide" type of humor (and I really like Douglas Adams). I don't know much about you, as I am new to the site, but I hope your writing is getting the recognition it deserves.

Conchvegas wrote 603 days ago

Great opening chapter. I love how you got into the animal's heads. HarperCollins must have just read the first chapter. I'll read more later but you have my backing.

JOE ADU-GYAMFI wrote 611 days ago

wow! this is surely an excellent piece.if u manage to complete it,it will go to so many places.the first chapter is just captivating!

Marc Shoemaker wrote 613 days ago

I love the tone of this with the British humor (or humour, I suppose). You may not have formal training in writing, buy you seem to have the gift for turning words into something larger, something that draws the reader in. I certainly will be reading on.

Shigley wrote 615 days ago

"The chickens were bobbing about as if one of them had lost a contact lens before they spotted Cuthbert and appeared from everywhere like demented snowflakes."

The writer has an original and witty way of describing things. I only had time to read the first two chapters, but I will be back. I loved it!

Len



Nai Lara wrote 617 days ago

Hi Paula and Patrick,
Interesting stories and you've done really well to capture the humour. I can also relate to the bull story :) If only I had a stone pillar to hide behind. :-) Well done!

Regards,
Naomi
Fallen Angel

wildychan wrote 623 days ago

As a new writer like me, your writing is short, clear and up to the point. Happy to see that your ranking is moving up. Keep it up. Wildy

Gary Wedlund wrote 623 days ago

Excellent pacing in this. You have a great way of keeping it hopping and I suspect a big part of that is the unusual POV and how rigidly you adhere to it. It's not what a human or an omniscient being sees, but what a bird sees. That's what we want. Keep up this excellent work. I'm making this my first backed item.

Marsh Brooks wrote 623 days ago

I read the first chapter. Very funny of Patrick to display the thoughts and the jealousy between the animals. The face-off between Cuthbert and the bull were hilarious. I would have like to see it lasted longer. Good Job.

LL Rook wrote 624 days ago

Obviously you have some great characters and we can see all the actions occuring as if we stood right there in the barnyard and watched the hilarity unfold.

Good luck!

Bookster wrote 624 days ago

Wonderful writing style! I liked Cuthbert instantly, and was taken by the other characters and their odd yet interesting ways. I look forward to reading to the end.
Eric Wilder - Prairie Sunset

mturner wrote 627 days ago

thank you for the feedback. i have made a few alterations as you pointed out, it is really appreciated

i have added your book and will be looking to read more soon

thank you again for your comments and good luck

lj reads wrote 629 days ago

I am looking forward to reading your book. It looks fun and inviting!! Not quite sure what the difference between 'back,' 'watchlist' and 'rank.'

Phyllis Burton wrote 630 days ago

Hello Paula, Witty, imaginative and well worthy of a read. Best of luck with this. BACKED with pleasure.

Phyllis
A Passing Storm

Ellgain wrote 631 days ago

From the start "The colour wasn't perfect as it made flying at night an absolute bugger" made me laugh out loud. A nice unexpected turn of phrase that promises great things by way of tone and story telling style.

And you don't disappoint. Cuthbert's reaction to the bull "in time for his reactions to get their boots on..." and "The expression 'Bull Market' was a bit of a mystery..."

It was an easy read, nice and smooth. I really liked it a lot and will definitely read more as time permits.

briantodd wrote 635 days ago

The humour in this reminded me of the best of Wallace and Gromit. I kept on thinking that Cuthbert would do as Wallace. Find a place for Gromit amidst the mayhem and Nick Park has a script for his next feature film.

briantodd wrote 635 days ago

The humour in this reminded me of the best of Wallace and Gromit. I kept on thinking that Cuthbert would do as Wallace. Find a place for Gromit amidst the mayhem and Nick Park has a script for his next feature film.

Jaye Hill wrote 641 days ago

Usually you know if you'll like a book by the first chapter, but by the first paragraph is ridiculous! It was clear that this book was going to go far even had I not known that it had got a publisher. Do hope Patrick's picking up. We need acres more of this sort of writing Regards Jaye Hill, The Fantasy Trip

James26 wrote 641 days ago

Hi there, i loved this! I finished at three this morning so thanks to you i'm half asleep!! This was really addictive and extremely funny. I actually really like the short chapters as it keeps you turning the pages, i like your use of shorter paragraphs, it makes the story snappy and maintains a good tempo. Its great to read a book that actually makes you laugh out loud!! Regards James. (Their Limbo Lives)

Celeste Azure Rose wrote 641 days ago

Great adult story, with a childlike imaginative twist! It was easy to follow, I could clearly see the scenes unfold. I liked the short chapters myself, partially because at the end of each chapter I (as the reader) felt like I had accomplished something! Short chapters gave me may opportunities to revel in the triumph of another job well done! All joking aside, I really didn't mind them being on the short side.

This is a cute story. It left me with an overall sense of "ahhhhh." I felt good while reading it, which is the mark of a good story.

Will be back for more.

Love.

Celeste

Francene Stanley wrote 646 days ago

This writing style is diverse enough to catch the attention of a chicken searching for its contact lens.

Well written and funny in places. However, I searched without finding a place to rest, a view-point to settle with.

All the best. I've backed the story.

TJS32 wrote 647 days ago

I really enjoyed your writing. Good luck to you. Backed.

The Writerholic wrote 647 days ago

Personally, for me, this reads more along the lines of a children's book -- which may be the intention. There are some instances when the point of view swaps between characters that i find really jarring (Prime example would be in Chapter One, when it swaps from the crow to Cuthbert). That being said though, I applaud anyone who can write comedic or satire with any sort of skill, as it is something I intrinsically seem to lack. *lol*

I wish you all the best in your future endeavors!

Best Wishes,

Angeli Pidcock
The Journey of Excalibur

Frank Zahn wrote 647 days ago

Patrick.........Great story concept and writing--very humorous. Backed with best wishes...........Frank

RebeccaAsh wrote 648 days ago

Just read the first couple of chapters, very imaginative! Feel free to have a read of my chapters...!

RebeccaAsh wrote 648 days ago

Read the first couple of chapters, very imaginative!! Feel free to read a couple of my chapters...!

Lee Veinot wrote 649 days ago

I've backed Shakespeare's Cuthbert based on the long pitch and put it on my bookshelf. I can't wait to read it! Congratulations on the contract. I hope your friend gets better.

Eric D. Mertz wrote 652 days ago

This is a funny story with a great voice. Cuthbert is quite the character, and one I found entertaining. The same with the raven and the bull. This story is one that can appeal to all ages, and I would suggest it to all of my friends, whether they have children or not. Well done.

Eric D. Mertz
Fracture War: The Montana Crisis

Leigh Michaels wrote 652 days ago

I have to say that I had a hard time staying interested, but this is due more to personal style preferences than to your writing ability. The story is well written and has nice use of humor. Best of luck to you.

Leigh Michaels wrote 652 days ago

I have to say that I had a hard time staying interested, but this is due more to personal style preferences than to your writing ability. The story is well written and has nice use of humor. Best of luck to you.

Leigh Michaels wrote 652 days ago

I have to say that I had a hard time staying interested, but this is due more to personal style preferences than to your writing ability. The story is well written and has nice use of humor. Best of luck to you.

Justis Call wrote 657 days ago

I am curious about this writing - I seem to recall reading some of "Cuthbert" in the past and quite enjoyed this character. Your book is watchlisted and I will get to it soon!

Justis Call
Prestidigitations

Regina Tittel wrote 657 days ago

Entertaining read-enjoyed your humor!
I'll back this with pleasure.

danny johnson wrote 658 days ago

An absolutely hilarious opening chapter; I enjoyed it very much. I shall come back to finish reading the entire book. From the first chapter, I trust you to entertain me, and give you license to be as crazy as possible...well done.

Chipper10 wrote 658 days ago

good story and style....Your charachers have life....

Keep up the good work,
God Bless,
Chipper

Chipper10 wrote 658 days ago

good story and style....Your charachers have life....

Keep up the good work,
God Bless,
Chipper

Regina Tittel wrote 658 days ago

I'm going to make time later today to read through a few chapters. From what others have said, this sounds like a fun read. Regina Tittel-Abandoned Hearts

Bill Long wrote 665 days ago

I'm glad I didn't read the HC review first as it might have influenced my reading of the first chapter.
My own reaction was one of being aware of a smile slowly forming on my face as I read about the bull's dilemma. If the book continues like this, I thought, it's going to be a reading experience that leaves me with that feel-good factor. And so it proved. Well done. Backed.
Bill Long
Timecrack

Nursing Around wrote 668 days ago

nothing new to add, i like the humour, don't like the short chapters.

Christian Piatt wrote 671 days ago

A clever concept, executed with wit and good character development.

If I wanted for anything, it might be to get to the crux of the plot a little sooner, but this may be more a symptom of my own postmodern, short-attention-span, feed-me-now impulsiveness than it is a weakness in your own work.

I'm left wanting more, which is promising! Best of luck with this.

Peace,
Christian Piatt
"Pulling the Goalie"

Chicknip wrote 674 days ago


Love reading things that have a spark of originality and are just that little bit different .That is definintely the case here! With writing like this you become so intrigued to ready the next sentence, paragraph and page for both the humour and the wonder about what will happen next - Definitely backed and good luck.

CG Fewston wrote 677 days ago

Love your transitions... flawless interchange of points of view. Highly light-hearted with characters alive with their own unique personalities. CG