Gathering of Rain - A Tale from the Path of Shades

Not my genre but this is not only good, it is very good!
There is something about the style and structure that has captured (apart from me) something quite special.
I like the characters you develop, they’re alive and intricate and intriguing.
Rain is just brilliant.
I’m recommending this to others I know on this site. – Very, very good.

This genre is not my thing at all! But I have come across one or two gems in Authonomy and this is one of them. The writing has a sense of urgency, no words are wasted, descriptions are economical, enough to give us the atmosphere and the characters. We are encouraged to use our imagination. I love the names especially Rain. The endings too keep us turning the page. I hope this reaches the editors desk.
Backed
Christina
From Under the Bed

GATHERING OF RAIN:

Elaina,

I started to read this with a certain amount of trepidation, since sci-fi fantasy is not my normal choice of reading. Your pitch, however, made me curious.

And I have just been converted.

It just shows you that authonomy is performing an important role, in that it is opening doors that were hitherto closed to readers who thought that there was only one type of book they were prepared to read.

In the end, it's the writing that makes the difference. The writing and the concept. You make this feel like something that could be relevant to today.

Beautifully written, and worthy of the praise it is receiving.

Backed.
Sheila (Pinpoint)

Elaina. I do not massage egos, I give due credit. I have read some extremely good material on this site. Previously I have made reference to 3 books that have it all for me. They have it all and I loved them because I thought, "not even my genre, so original and I couldn't write that". Now yours is a 4th through my time on here; only this book is in a genre I can really relate to. This mystical transcendence that transports us elsewhere and creates a space where people can engage differently with their experience, discarding the mundane and oppressive aspects of the humdrum.

A truly super book. I love your characters, their names and their interactions. You write the story very nicely. It is charming and mysterious. The way you describe either scenes or characters enables a very strong visual feel that drags you into this fantastical world and makes you feel like you are watching a film.

I must admit to being surprised and disheartened that your work, while in the top 100, is not climbing higher. Strange.

Personally I think the ED is very much a space where "not all that glitters is gold" and the relentless march of many together seems a tad problematic. I only hope your exposure in the top 100 attracts an offer from some source other than HC. Because for me, this book really should not be confined to cyberspace for any length of time.

I am so pleased that a book like this is out there and trying to make good. It would be nice to see the next stage develop - that would be a great encouragement.

There are no negs from me; No editorial nit-picks. Very well done and very professionally crafted and formatted. I wish you every success in 2010.

Do I have to say 'backed'?? Is it not obvious? ;-)

Alexander *The Wisdom Tree and the Dormouse*

This isn't my normal genre, but your writing style really suits it. I'm in awe of your use of words and the imagery you create. Backed.

Well written. You do an excellent of job of drawing the reader in. At the end of the prologue the reader knows almost nothing, but you know enough to want to read more and you don't feel like you have no idea what is going on. This is not easy to achieve with fantasy where the reader finds himself in a world outside of his/her experience. Good job.

Backed.

Steven Lloyd
THE AUDACITY OF HOPE AND CHANGE

Have tried to upload edits, keep receiving error message. Thus, FYI, Authonomy chapters 1 - 4 are correct, but from 5 onward...well, I'll try another update tomorrow.

Thanks
Elaina

Very well written, intriguing and hard to put down. Thank you.

S.J.

I enjoyed the read because you have set up an intriguing world. The reader must find out what's gone wrong. The worst thing of course, is that the children are affected. Children are the future and must be protected. Your descriptions are good and draw the reader into the story.

In the first paragraph, the reader has to go back on the words to remember what the man is doing. When you say: It took time, insert what--'his work', 'the moulding and marking of the golden disc' or whatever. This is the most important piece of your whole book.

In the second paragraph: ...as well as the voice that was impetuous and creation. This doesn't make sense to me. Impetuous with creation?

When Fain approaches Fairnwood, you could show us what he sees, rather than having the narrator tell us. How does he feel about the town? Is he eager? Does he approach with dread? What does he semll? Show everything through his eyes.

When he gets to the corner, tell us who meets his eyes rather than they. You're missing out on impact here. I think you would benefit from joining a good critique group, who would help you iron out a few writing points and teqniques. I could recommend Internet Writing Workshop. I know you have little time to spare, but you can download other people's chapters and work on them in your own time. In return they'll do the same for you.

Please take anything I say as my opinion only. Use what you will and toss the rest. Keep your chin up and keep on writing!

I like this genre, but have found little in the way of good fantasy in bookstores. This is good fantasy. The story you are weaving here is excellent, and the world they are inhabiting feels truly fantastic, with a sense of impending doom and darkness in the air. The tension feels real, and the threat otherworldly. This has the potential for far more stories set within this world, and I would not mind exploring it.

Eric D. Mertz
Fracture War: The Montana Crisis

Backed
Splinker
"I've Been Deader."

I can only echo previous comments, this is my sort of thing and from the great cover and sharp premise alone, i was hooked. This is a strong supernatural story with great named places that evoke magic and mystery and echoes of the centuries, of a hidden history that we are not aware of. very good.

Elaina,
Gathering of Rain draws the reader into this fanciful land in the writer's imagination. Backed with pleasure.

All the ingredients are here for a bestseller.
Backed. (Hope you look at mine.)
Abel Kane
The Alchemists' Cookbook

I find this very intriguing, especially because of the limited number of details given in the pitch - it made it sound mysterious. I'm not sure the 'dear reader' part was entirely necessary as that is an idea that you are trying to demonstrate in your book (don't tell us, show us, even though I know that sounds cliche). Other than that though, I love it! The beginning is nice and well-paced so that you get a good idea of setting and can figure out what's going on, which works for your genre. I have only read chapter one, but I will keep going later today!

Best Wishes,
Ian Kraft

I find this very intriguing, especially because of the limited number of details given in the pitch - it made it sound mysterious. I'm not sure the 'dear reader' part was entirely necessary as that is an idea that you are trying to demonstrate in your book (don't tell us, show us, even though I know that sounds cliche). Other than that though, I love it! The beginning is nice and well-paced so that you get a good idea of setting and can figure out what's going on, which works for your genre. I have only read chapter one, but I will keep going later today!

Best Wishes,
Ian Kraft

Elaina,

Great plot. Super well-developed characters and setting.
Valaris is a compelling character!
Backing!
Good Luck!

Sammy Sutton
King Solomon's '13'

I'm afraid I found the tale rather confusing to start with but that could just be because I'm not used to reading this type of genre. However, I can see how it could develop and it has the potential for a good read.
Katy Christie
No Man No Cry

Elaina,
Excellent. Great plot, your writing captures the mood.
Great book to curl up with some evening.
Good Luck!
Sammy Sutton
King Solomon's '13'

The first two sentences of your book description hooked me into looking at your first page, as this is not a genre I would usually gravitate to. So ... E for excellence on the description.

My thoughts on Ch 1: You have a good strong story hook with your prologue.

Your story actually starts, for me at least, with the Prologue. The prologue works on my spirit, gives me that yearning sensation that a magical, mystical, mysterious story has begun. At that point it arouses my curiosity and piques my imagination. The hook starts with the sentence, "In a time now past beyond memory, a man whispered over a g olden disc ..." That sentence is SOLID GOLD!

My only thought is, "Why doesn't the author let that be the first sentence that the reader sees?"

All the introductory stuff that is above that sentence is just baggage that detracts from that wonderful sentence and from that mysterious, magical opening, what should be the opening paragraph of the story.

Here's what I try to do: I write my best shot, then I go back and look over the first page or so, looking for the GOLDEN SENTENCE or the GOLDEN PARAGRAPH. Keep reading your own stuff until you find that magical part that is your hidden treasure -- often it is buried within the first page or two -- then elevate that jewel to the first of the story.

Good luck to you. Hope to see you at the top.

F. Ellsworth Lockwood
"The Final Cruise"

An interesting opening with the fashioning of the medallion and lots of hooks to draw the reader in. Watchlisted to read when I return from work.

so confused. there is so much information: mantle, divide, maghdim, etc. i'm not complaining, but lots of information and people are introduced at such a fast pace. (or more than likely, i'm just very dull witted)

i liked what i did understand. i feel slow today.

me

Delicately written fantasy. Backed
Lara
Good for Him

This is some very accomplished fantasy writing and your prose is both lyrical yet accessible. From reading your opening chapters, I can see that you have a true and thorough grasp of the incredible world you have created. The only bit that didn;t flow for me was the sentences 'Knives, cudgels, even a rusty saw.' It didn;t seem to follow your previous sentence. This might be me but I did read it a few times to try and make sense of it. Still, this is very well written.
Carl
The Time Hunters

Beautifully written, with a dialogue and flow to be envied. Great descriptive ability. Backed.

Craig Ellis
The Sun and the Saber

This makes very pleasant reading...straightforward and atmospheric...well done!
Stewart

Nothing wrong with your writing of this, but there are sooooooo many fantasies on the site. Why did you write it? Why not turn your obvious talents to something more unusual rather than stick with the alternative worlds that everyone appears to be escaping to.
Lara
Good For Him

Thanks for the read and comments. Usually I don't reply here, but this is for future readers...

Why do I write Fantasy? I have written other genres (or tried) and never finish. It's as if reality cannot match what my characters can achieve on and in another place and time. Imagination gives wings! And, one can 'discuss' subjects considered 'controversial' if described in a setting applicable to this world...

Nothing wrong with your writing of this, but there are sooooooo many fantasies on the site. Why did you write it? Why not turn your obvious talents to something more unusual rather than stick with the alternative worlds that everyone appears to be escaping to.
Lara
Good For Him

Very reminiscent of a Frank Herbert. You have captured my attention and I will be back with detailed comments in a week or so. At the moment I don't have time for more than to say BACKED. Look forward to reading more.

Hi Elaina,

I loved this! This is a powerful amazing story, the pitch grabbed me right away and when I was reading chapter one I couldn't stop reading! great work! I will add more comments when I go back to read more.
Backed with Pleasure!

Melissa
The Guardian and the Book of Souls

Great writing!

backed with pleasure,

Johanna Kern
Master and the Green-Eyed Hope

This is my genre and this is bloody brilliant. the pitch alone got me and the names are fantastic, evoking a real sense of almost Arthurian mysticism and Harry potters(in theme and tone, not settings or characters). The darkness is coming is a theme on my book too and it's a really good tool to use, darkness has many forms and shadows many densities, is it a single thing or a gestat? |excellent stuff.

You have a unique style and the scattered pieces of the opening are things which I would normally skip past, but I read these this time and they're wonderful, setting a mood to carry you into what is coming. Artfully done.

You have my backing, because your pitch is so drawing, and your writing is extremely good.
Sincerely
Helen

You are Master of atmosphere. The brooding foreboding in Chapter 1 is so well done. I skimmed over several more chapters to find an evolving story, and as far as I could see, a notable absence of errors of spelling or grammar. This, I feel, is an extremely good story. Marj.

Wow !!!! That first line of your pitch is bewitching.... That's all I can say. Backed with absolution.

Gathering of Rain
There is a darkness looming closer, but I cannot yet see it´s shape?
ch1 -
I would def start with - Rain was exhausted - then you getr the surprise and character in the single first word
also - cut ´many´from the existing first line
Even as is - is engaging , backed.
Waiting to hear
thnx
simon

You have a wonderful style of writing, smooth and effortless to read, good luck with it. E.Loraine Royal Blood Chronicles book one

I am not a sci fi fan, but i enjoyed reading this,

Hayley Smith Fairy ring farm & Bloodlines

Not my genre but this is not only good, it is very good!
There is something about the style and structure that has captured (apart from me) something quite special.
I like the characters you develop, they’re alive and intricate and intriguing.
Rain is just brilliant.
I’m recommending this to others I know on this site. – Very, very good.

Hi Elaina,
Backed. Fabulous writing! I would like to simply use some superlatives, but, since I have always promised constructive criticism when I leave comments, I will try to be more precise than simply saying it was wonderful (which it was). First off, the opening is a lovely hook. The image of the glyphs being engraved was extremely striking and definitiely made the reader want to know more.
That is one of the strengths of the writing: there is clearly a whole fantasy worls living and breathing behind your text, which we are only allowed a glimpse into. It left me curious and anxious to read on. The description is wonderfully vivid, without being over the top.
In particular, I like the originality of the theme of the changeling children. I was expecting a more general swords and sorcery fantasy when I started, but, immediately, I felt I was in quite a different realm: one in which fairytale is going to play a large part. It's very nice to be invited into a world that feels so fresh and original.
Happily backed. I hope it gets the credit and attention it deserves.
Dan

Elaina,
Giving you the courtesy you deserve, as stated on your pitch, whilst outside of my comfort zone the writing was superbly done. It was sufficiently descriptive to create images and landscapes with me (as readers) drawing very little from the (few) fantasy films I had seen and I read on longer than I would have expected.
Best of luck with it
J.

An enchanting story with strong vision. I enjoyed this a great deal,you certainly have talent and i would love to see this enter the shops. This happens to be my favourite genre and you certainly do it justice.

Well Done

Lesley-Ann (Ezeldren Spirit of Ezereth)

Impeccable, imaginative and wonderful. I agree with your co-writers, this will go places!

all the best
sue
Fate's Chastening

You are so fantastic, Elaina! :) How can I ever thank you for backing my 2 memoir books? God bless you. :)
Love, Susie :)

I bookstore read Ch1.
I enjoy this genre, but I found myself put off with excessive detail and the useage of words such as 'dive' when the characters are about to enter an inn.
If you are intent on building atmosphere, maybe it would be better to build it slower, or in a different way than the over heard comments (that really put me off), and again to use the word dive, I would personally replace it with a less modern slang term.

I am sorry, despite liking this genre and reading the other positive comments about the work, it missed me.

As Rain approaches Farinwood on foot, his horse lame, we get an claustrophobic sense of something sinister fomenting in the community where warnings are whispered and a cloud -both literal and metaphorical - looms over the village.
As McSee jauntily escorts Rain through to the bar, full of bon ami, we wonder if his friendliness may come at a price, while feeling immersed in the atmosphere of the ale house.
The twist at the end of Chapter 1 keeps us guessing about how dangerous Rain could be and when we add this to the storyline as already outlined in the synopsis I can see that there is abundant scope to advance a powerful and memorable tale.

Shelved.
Ray
(A Child from the Wishing Well)

Great premise, vivdly portrayed. Rain is a complex character and easily holds the reader's interest. World of Sorcerers and Necromancers - this is high imagination. This is very well thought out and the characters and their names are rich with personality. Your dialogue and narration suits the plot and this will be a big hit with all the fantasy lovers out there.
Backed earlier and glad to read more to comment.
Rakhi (Sir William...)

Dear Elaina, I got so excited when I saw that you had backed, "He Loves Me." :) Thanks so very much. :) Since I have already "backed" your book, I will also put your book on my "watchlist." Could you please take a moment to "back" my completed unedited memoir version? "Tell Me True Love Stories," which at the end tells of my illness now & 6th abusive marriage. I'd be ever so grateful. :) Thank you. :) Love, Susie :)
p.s. Remember: Every time you place a book on your bookshelf, your recommendation pushes the book up the rankings. And while that book sits on your bookshelf, your reputation as a talent spotter increases depending on how well that book performs. :)
When you back a book, it only improves the ranking of that book, not yours. However, the author whose book you are backing may decide to back your book also, in which case yes, your ranking would be improved...authonomy.

Hello Elaine. This is an intriguing plot, backed up with a well written story. I loved your opening chapter, you described everything so well and brought the story to life. Backed with pleasure! Kind regards, mariecapri (Cosmic Linx)

Dear Elaina, I love to do the Immortality Ritual so that I would never be sick with my lupus - that would be wonderful. :) Before I began to read your book, I was prepared by your recap/pitch,which was very well done. Your story is good because you create interest by having short paragraphs & lots of dialogue, which makes me want to keep reading to find out what's going to happen next. I'm "backing" your book to help it advance - this will help it move up on the charts. :) Could you please return the favor by taking a moment to "back" my TWO memoir books, "He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not" & my completed memoir unedited version? "Tell Me True Love Stories," which tells at the end, my illness now & 6th abusive marriage." Thanks, Susie :)
p.s. Remember: Every time you place a book on your bookshelf, your recommendation pushes the book up the rankings. And while that book sits on your bookshelf, your reputation as a talent spotter increases depending on how well that book performs. :)

This is an extremely good fantasy fiction story that lovers of this genre will take to immediately. It is only a matter of time before this book ends up on the editor’s desk. Good luck with it. Yet another author that should have been in print a long time ago.

Regards, Chris Williams – The Stories of Rhys
www.thestoriesofrhys.com

Wow, this is extremely well done fantasy writing. The more I read, the more impressed I was with your strong storytelling and flow of words. This should do really well for, those like me, who enjoy a good fantasy novel with deep mystery.

Backed and good luck
Natalie

Fantasy is not my genre, but good writing is good writing. Your descriptions are beautifully done, as are Rain's thought processes. Not too much, just enough. The dead eyes of the "rabid" children were chilling to the core!
backed
Genevieve