Gathering of Rain - A Tale from the Path of Shades

RAIN has received the most amazing review! Follow the link to my Facebook page and have a gander...

A quick head's up: Gathering of Rain is available as an ebook on Smashwords and Barnes&Noble (and others). If you leave a comment here, PLEASE help me with reviews on those sites- thanks!

Elaina

PS: Volumes II and III are there also, and Volume IV is about to go live.

This is a hugely impressive work, showing great vision and originality and it would be wrong to think of it in genre terms. Each story needs the same elements of character, description and voice and Gathering of Rain does all of these very well. You are obviously a talented and very creative author and I'm looking forward to reading some more when I have the chance. This amazing story deserves to do well.

Backed with my compliments.

Jack Hughes
Dawn of Shadows

Not my genre but this is not only good, it is very good!
There is something about the style and structure that has captured (apart from me) something quite special.
I like the characters you develop, they’re alive and intricate and intriguing.
Rain is just brilliant.
I’m recommending this to others I know on this site. – Very, very good.

This genre is not my thing at all! But I have come across one or two gems in Authonomy and this is one of them. The writing has a sense of urgency, no words are wasted, descriptions are economical, enough to give us the atmosphere and the characters. We are encouraged to use our imagination. I love the names especially Rain. The endings too keep us turning the page. I hope this reaches the editors desk.
Backed
Christina
From Under the Bed

Gathering of Rain.
By Elainer. J. Davidson.

Make no mistake about it - this is a brilliant piece of writting.
From opening the first page, I was struck by the shear ability of the author to offer the reader excellent descriptive scenes,some of which are quite awesome! Great stuff!!
It has it all, magic, fantasy, sorcery, you name it it's there.
I've only covered a few chapters and dipped in here and there, It's enough to know what this books made of and the way the storyline is going. I will be back of course to read more.
Can't fault it - excellent read and well thought, out I'm sure.
Pleased to star rate it high and get it on my shelf in the next few days.

Kind regards,

Neville.The Secrets of the Forest - The Time Zone.

Oooh, this has changed quite a lot from what I recall.

I like the prologue. Short and to the point, it provides both an indication of what the medallion (medaillon?) is and a hint of the darkness to come.

The opening of the first chapter is suitably creepy, and you crank it up a notch with the possessed children. That’s a really horrible idea and raises the stakes pretty high, making it clear that Rain’s up against some fearsome forces. And that makes me want to read on :-)

‘Long after, he would wonder …’ – I tend not to like this sort of thing. It pulls me out of the immediacy of the story and into an awareness that it is indeed a story being told (rather than being immersed in the events so that they become real to me). Unless you’re really attached to it, I’d suggest removing that sentence – but maybe it’s just my personal preference.

I like the McSee character, and the dialogue in this scene was good. Revealed about the right amount of information to ground the reader without giving too much backstory.

I didn’t quite follow the final scene of the chapter (after Rain wakes from dreaming of the girl). I think I was a bit confused by the transition from him dreaming about a child to hearing a child screech – when I read it the first time, I still wasn’t sure whether the woman and the men are connected to the dream child or a real child. Maybe elaborate ever so slightly on ‘Here it was a child on the hunt’ to make it clear he is now hearing things in the real world and everything that follows is related to that. Plus the way Rain then views events in the flame makes it feel dreamlike again – so I’m still not quite sure what’s real. It’s all very atmospheric and sinister, though. I assume the two children killed the man? *Shudder.*

I’ll read on next week when I have the time, but in the meantime I’ll pop this up on my shelf for a bit. It doesn't deserve a red arrow :-)

Today, I read chapter 2. The conversation is believable, with interesting body movements to keep the reader glued to the page. Beautiful poetic writing.

I found one not in the para beginning: Rain laughed ... Two sentences start with When ...

I'm happy to back this again.

Francene. Still Rock Water.

Elaina,

I started reading your Opus and thought I would give you my cent and half:

The first thing that jumps here is the style. There is a whispering tone to your entire narrative, as you accumulate one poetic moment onto the next....

....the way lilies accumulate on a pond.

.....each one crystallizing tiny emotions on the reader's mind

the result, the reader is moved and stirred by a recurring pile of original language thrown confetti like.....

........as if the writer was saying:....here....take it all...

.....so much the reader almost forgets that there is fable hiding...

....somewhere in there.

....for he is falling in love with the poetry.


Some of my favorites:

"and he rushed nothing..."

"nestled in a fold"

"the town itself"

"unseeing after initial scrutiny"

"his face colorless"
marvelous..

"a deep pull of ale"

"the leaves lifted....
This has a wonderful liminal quality.
By that what I mean is that the words "react" in the reader's mind upon being read.

"She drew breath and released it slowly"

Overall, wonderful

david

RAIN has received the most amazing review! Follow the link to my Facebook page and have a gander...

This is a thrilling novel, and well written.
You have a gift for evoking atmosphere, the brooding atmosphere of the streets, the rabid children, the relief of the inn, 'a fire blazed warmth and comfort.' Your description is good, and your choice of wording cannot be faulted. There is tension, excitement, and I expect if I'd read far enough, plenty of action.
This is a book that deserves to go far.
Marj.

backed AS PROMISED!!!!

Thak you!!!... have 6 starred this based on the pitch to show intent and have added to our WL which means you WILL make our shelf in the next (+2) round of backings (its 11pm for us). Feel free to chase at ANY TIME n will let u know exactly how long till ur going up......

I love the attention to detail, a very good fantasy. I wish I had time to read more! Added to WL and I 'll back asap,
Best of lcuktwith this, Claire

Larger than life Rain with the support of McSee and Averroes (now why did you choose that name?) are good characters and lead the action in the first four chapters. I often get lost in fantasy literature. The language can be confusing and there is too much happening that I don't understand but this is a storyline I can follow. The children turned to killers is a good plot device and the early appearance of the medallion is well handled. It is all dark and spooky and rather mysterious but intriguing. As the focus moves away from these characters I began to lose the storyline. Uploaded ch 5 and 6 seem pretty identical. Although there is lots of imaginative and descriptive writing in the later chapters I missed the characters we started with and would like to get back to them.

A quick head's up: Gathering of Rain is available as an ebook on Smashwords and Barnes&Noble (and others). If you leave a comment here, PLEASE help me with reviews on those sites- thanks!

Elaina

PS: Volumes II and III are there also, and Volume IV is about to go live.

Thank you for your kind comments on my collection of stories. Your book "Gathering of Rain", although Fantasy is not something I would ususally go for seems to be really very original and entertaining and you obviously care a great deal about how you write. Good luck with it, I shall keep and eye for you and am happy to back you.

Adding Gathering of Rain to our watchlist.
CC Brown
Dark Side

Great craftsmanship at work. Quite dark and eerie at times, but a well thought out plot. Backed. Eunice - The Temple Dancer.

Very spooky book, I love spooky and shades of darkness. Did not have the time to read enough as I wanted too but liked your story and well written as well. Good luck and backed. Beth Anne

I really enjoyed reading this, though I haven't really read any high fantasy in a long time. I could nitpick, here and there on style, but I won't. Simply because it really would be nitpicking, and none of it affected my enjoyment of it. Suggesting rearrangements of commas and full stops at this stage seems a bit silly. Plus, you've been trying to upload an edited version, I see, and technology hasn't been cooperating -- so there's really nothing to say. :-)

As far as I'm concerned, I would very much like to read the whole thing!
And if you're wondering what hooked me, and kept me reading, it was the main character. From the first page, his "voice" and POV make him feel "alive". He feels like a real person, and for me that's the make or break of any book.

Backed with pleasure!

I. Soldatos
Bad Bishop

I like the relationship between Avendeath and Rain, by the way great name for a sorcerer I was not expecting them to be allies. You paint a wonderful mythical story and I really enjoyed the read even though this is not a genre I’m used to.
Check out in chapter three you change case from McSee to Mcsee.
A delightful story with well crafted characters and believable dialogue.
Wilma1
Knowing Liam Riley – Please spend a moment to take a look

Dear Elaine,
I know I backed your book and commented, however I cannot find it. I am going to do so again just in case. If it happened the first time it will not show. best of luck
Denise
The Letter

GATHERING OF RAIN-Elaina J. Davidson
hullo Elaina. first up I am not a sci fi/fantasy reader most of thye time. But, i will say that your writing and plot is fairly easy to follow, not too many words that I cannot pronounce. Ha-ha great story. Already shelved and backed.
Please take a look at my book if you have not and thanks for that.
Linda Lou Long
Southern dis-Comfort
http://www.authonomy.com/ViewBook.aspx?bookid=11421

This is a hugely impressive work, showing great vision and originality and it would be wrong to think of it in genre terms. Each story needs the same elements of character, description and voice and Gathering of Rain does all of these very well. You are obviously a talented and very creative author and I'm looking forward to reading some more when I have the chance. This amazing story deserves to do well.

Backed with my compliments.

Jack Hughes
Dawn of Shadows

A good 'old school' fantasy, the kind I like. I would buy this book. Fantasy should be about the struggle between good and evil with thin lines between the two in places. You accomplish this in just the first two chapters. Very nice. Backed.

Take a look at my fantasy, 'Earth Reaver'. I would welcome any comments.

A very well written and intriguing start. Your writing flows and draws the reader into the characters and the story. Beautiful use of language and an interesting plot.
Best of luck
Rachael
(Dreamscape)

Wow! What a powerful opening prologue. It's sure to snatch readers and keep them engrossed. As I read onward, I noted your poetic prose and great descriptions. This is great writing coupled with a captivating story. I'm going to read more of this!
Oliva

Nice balance of inner thoughts, description, dialogue. Fine rendering of a fantasy world.

Memphisgirl
Ashes By Now

Still trying to upload edits, but defeated by 'error' at every turn. Chapters 1-4 are close to the edited version; thereafter it gets a bit mixed up. I hope to fix it soon!

This isn't my normal genre, but your writing style really suits it. I'm in awe of your use of words and the imagery you create. Backed.

Well written. You do an excellent of job of drawing the reader in. At the end of the prologue the reader knows almost nothing, but you know enough to want to read more and you don't feel like you have no idea what is going on. This is not easy to achieve with fantasy where the reader finds himself in a world outside of his/her experience. Good job.

Backed.

Steven Lloyd
THE AUDACITY OF HOPE AND CHANGE

Have tried to upload edits, keep receiving error message. Thus, FYI, Authonomy chapters 1 - 4 are correct, but from 5 onward...well, I'll try another update tomorrow.

Thanks
Elaina

Very well written, intriguing and hard to put down. Thank you.

S.J.

I enjoyed the read because you have set up an intriguing world. The reader must find out what's gone wrong. The worst thing of course, is that the children are affected. Children are the future and must be protected. Your descriptions are good and draw the reader into the story.

In the first paragraph, the reader has to go back on the words to remember what the man is doing. When you say: It took time, insert what--'his work', 'the moulding and marking of the golden disc' or whatever. This is the most important piece of your whole book.

In the second paragraph: ...as well as the voice that was impetuous and creation. This doesn't make sense to me. Impetuous with creation?

When Fain approaches Fairnwood, you could show us what he sees, rather than having the narrator tell us. How does he feel about the town? Is he eager? Does he approach with dread? What does he semll? Show everything through his eyes.

When he gets to the corner, tell us who meets his eyes rather than they. You're missing out on impact here. I think you would benefit from joining a good critique group, who would help you iron out a few writing points and teqniques. I could recommend Internet Writing Workshop. I know you have little time to spare, but you can download other people's chapters and work on them in your own time. In return they'll do the same for you.

Please take anything I say as my opinion only. Use what you will and toss the rest. Keep your chin up and keep on writing!

I like this genre, but have found little in the way of good fantasy in bookstores. This is good fantasy. The story you are weaving here is excellent, and the world they are inhabiting feels truly fantastic, with a sense of impending doom and darkness in the air. The tension feels real, and the threat otherworldly. This has the potential for far more stories set within this world, and I would not mind exploring it.

Eric D. Mertz
Fracture War: The Montana Crisis

Backed
Splinker
"I've Been Deader."

I can only echo previous comments, this is my sort of thing and from the great cover and sharp premise alone, i was hooked. This is a strong supernatural story with great named places that evoke magic and mystery and echoes of the centuries, of a hidden history that we are not aware of. very good.

Elaina,
Gathering of Rain draws the reader into this fanciful land in the writer's imagination. Backed with pleasure.

All the ingredients are here for a bestseller.
Backed. (Hope you look at mine.)
Abel Kane
The Alchemists' Cookbook

I find this very intriguing, especially because of the limited number of details given in the pitch - it made it sound mysterious. I'm not sure the 'dear reader' part was entirely necessary as that is an idea that you are trying to demonstrate in your book (don't tell us, show us, even though I know that sounds cliche). Other than that though, I love it! The beginning is nice and well-paced so that you get a good idea of setting and can figure out what's going on, which works for your genre. I have only read chapter one, but I will keep going later today!

Best Wishes,
Ian Kraft

I find this very intriguing, especially because of the limited number of details given in the pitch - it made it sound mysterious. I'm not sure the 'dear reader' part was entirely necessary as that is an idea that you are trying to demonstrate in your book (don't tell us, show us, even though I know that sounds cliche). Other than that though, I love it! The beginning is nice and well-paced so that you get a good idea of setting and can figure out what's going on, which works for your genre. I have only read chapter one, but I will keep going later today!

Best Wishes,
Ian Kraft

Elaina,

Great plot. Super well-developed characters and setting.
Valaris is a compelling character!
Backing!
Good Luck!

Sammy Sutton
King Solomon's '13'

I'm afraid I found the tale rather confusing to start with but that could just be because I'm not used to reading this type of genre. However, I can see how it could develop and it has the potential for a good read.
Katy Christie
No Man No Cry

Elaina,
Excellent. Great plot, your writing captures the mood.
Great book to curl up with some evening.
Good Luck!
Sammy Sutton
King Solomon's '13'

The first two sentences of your book description hooked me into looking at your first page, as this is not a genre I would usually gravitate to. So ... E for excellence on the description.

My thoughts on Ch 1: You have a good strong story hook with your prologue.

Your story actually starts, for me at least, with the Prologue. The prologue works on my spirit, gives me that yearning sensation that a magical, mystical, mysterious story has begun. At that point it arouses my curiosity and piques my imagination. The hook starts with the sentence, "In a time now past beyond memory, a man whispered over a g olden disc ..." That sentence is SOLID GOLD!

My only thought is, "Why doesn't the author let that be the first sentence that the reader sees?"

All the introductory stuff that is above that sentence is just baggage that detracts from that wonderful sentence and from that mysterious, magical opening, what should be the opening paragraph of the story.

Here's what I try to do: I write my best shot, then I go back and look over the first page or so, looking for the GOLDEN SENTENCE or the GOLDEN PARAGRAPH. Keep reading your own stuff until you find that magical part that is your hidden treasure -- often it is buried within the first page or two -- then elevate that jewel to the first of the story.

Good luck to you. Hope to see you at the top.

F. Ellsworth Lockwood
"The Final Cruise"

An interesting opening with the fashioning of the medallion and lots of hooks to draw the reader in. Watchlisted to read when I return from work.

so confused. there is so much information: mantle, divide, maghdim, etc. i'm not complaining, but lots of information and people are introduced at such a fast pace. (or more than likely, i'm just very dull witted)

i liked what i did understand. i feel slow today.

me

Delicately written fantasy. Backed
Lara
Good for Him

This is some very accomplished fantasy writing and your prose is both lyrical yet accessible. From reading your opening chapters, I can see that you have a true and thorough grasp of the incredible world you have created. The only bit that didn;t flow for me was the sentences 'Knives, cudgels, even a rusty saw.' It didn;t seem to follow your previous sentence. This might be me but I did read it a few times to try and make sense of it. Still, this is very well written.
Carl
The Time Hunters

Beautifully written, with a dialogue and flow to be envied. Great descriptive ability. Backed.

Craig Ellis
The Sun and the Saber

This makes very pleasant reading...straightforward and atmospheric...well done!
Stewart

Nothing wrong with your writing of this, but there are sooooooo many fantasies on the site. Why did you write it? Why not turn your obvious talents to something more unusual rather than stick with the alternative worlds that everyone appears to be escaping to.
Lara
Good For Him

Thanks for the read and comments. Usually I don't reply here, but this is for future readers...

Why do I write Fantasy? I have written other genres (or tried) and never finish. It's as if reality cannot match what my characters can achieve on and in another place and time. Imagination gives wings! And, one can 'discuss' subjects considered 'controversial' if described in a setting applicable to this world...

Nothing wrong with your writing of this, but there are sooooooo many fantasies on the site. Why did you write it? Why not turn your obvious talents to something more unusual rather than stick with the alternative worlds that everyone appears to be escaping to.
Lara
Good For Him

Very reminiscent of a Frank Herbert. You have captured my attention and I will be back with detailed comments in a week or so. At the moment I don't have time for more than to say BACKED. Look forward to reading more.