Book Jacket

 

rank 246
word count 32183
date submitted 09.02.2009
date updated 25.02.2011
genres: Fiction, Literary Fiction, Fantasy
classification: moderate
incomplete

Gathering of Rain - A Tale from the Path of Shades

Elaina J Davidson

'There is a darkness coming, but I cannot yet see in what form...'



 

‘There is a darkness coming.’ The Vallorin’s words, spoken before he entombment.
.
Millennia later, two worlds in two universes are on the brink of burning. Both will fade into darkness after. Connecting their shared fate is a linked past, a thread of light, and a tear in the fabric of space.

Valaris is threatened by the dara-witch Infinity and beyond Ardosia a Darak Or awaits the perfect opportunity to annihilate a world. When Taranis of the Guardians is summoned to witness what will happen to Valaris should Ardosia fail, he understands the Guardians require a sorcerer of extraordinary power.

Rain travels to Farinwood to find the magician Aven. As leader of the Mantle, he is aware Infinity has returned to Valaris to exact revenge for the death of her son, and he stumbles into the nightmare of children manipulated to become killers, but isn't prepared for what he actually finds. The Maghdim Medaillon, the thread of light between two realms.

Rain dreams of a little girl from another world crying for help and cannot fathom how, until he meets the Guardians. When they reveal the presence of a rift, Rain understands he is being gathered to fulfil his destiny...


 
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betrayal, centuar, enchanter, fantasy, gatherings, giantis, great dividing forest, guardians, magic, mer, obsession, post-technological, reincarnation...

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Gathering of Rain – A Tale from the Path of Shades Volume I

 

Prologue

 

    In a time now passed beyond memory, a man whispered over a golden disc as he set it into a vice. He lifted an engraving tool to mark the first glyph. He murmured the words of an ancient enchantment, a repeated rhythm, until it was perfect, and then whispered some more as he polished. It took time, many months, and he rushed nothing. Spoke of it to no one. Only when the time was right would he reveal his handiwork.

    He possessed the tools and skills to achieve his goal, as well as the voice that was impetus and creation. To infuse inanimate gold, to gift atoms sensitivity, to compel unassailable eternity, required tone, repetition and emotion. Imperative was emotion, for it determined the ultimate nature of the infused device. If fashioned in anger, the consequence was an instrument capable of confusion; indifference led to instability, hate to darkness, mockery to deception, egotism to arrogance, and love to illumination and enlightenment. He intended only love.

    The Supreme Wisdom- the Maghdim Medaillon- of the Valleur was made tangible and it was beautiful. On the day he laid it in a protective casket, he thought: I am done now. The future is secure.

    He was wrong.

 

 

Part I

There is a darkness coming

 

 

Chapter One

 

‘This is creepy, boy; it’s about to tumble into the whirly-swirl.’

From Tattle’s Blunt Adventures

 

 

    RAIN rested on the final descent from the pass, drinking deep of tepid water. He was exhausted after four days hard travel, the latter two by foot after his horse lost a shoe, and had taken a battering when he lost traction on a scree slope earlier in the day. Farinwood, journey’s end, lay just ahead now, nestled in a fold where the soil was fertile and moist all year, the town facing roughly west towards the Corridor Mountains behind him. The lower hills beyond were shrouded in dense mist and the valleys appeared oppressed in murky shadow. It was not natural. It was also the reason he had come. Rumours of darak sorcery had the Mantle in a state of flurry. Rain grimaced. Flurry wasn’t quite the word- uproar would be closer.

    He followed a path only goats now knew of to enter town and as he stepped off the old, splintered bridge that spanned the canal the weight of sorcery instantly pressed down upon him. The canal was green with algae; not a comforting sight, for this was drinking water. The town itself was gloomy with vapour trailing tendrils like spooky fingers from a hell world. The quaint, old buildings shuttered, blind; the cobbled streets slick, misshapen moss growing in cracks. Rain shivered.

    The first evidence of the dara-witch Infinity’s malevolence upon people was a group of armed, surly men. Knives, cudgels, even a rusty saw. Until now she had coerced nature; that was no longer so. The men looked past Rain, around him, unseeing after initial scrutiny, skittish. Someone else was on their minds. When he enquired after the nearest inn, they pointed him onward willingly enough, but eyes darted all over. One man stared intently at him as if to say something until his companion dug an elbow into his ribs and he quickly looked away. Rain wanted to fire questions and demand answers...and understood it would only spread panic.

    He left the men behind. Aven would know what was going on.

    In a broader street, he found a similar gathering. There were no women and no children. It was not a good sign; it meant women and children were confined. And as he passed he heard snatches of sinister mutterings.

    ‘…not normal this fog…’

    ‘...Farinwood’s a portal to the netherworld...’

    ‘…darkness in their hearts…’

    ‘…Feon saw the dara-witch…’

    ‘…Infinity on Hogshill…’

    ‘…our poor children…’

    ‘…an ancient curse I tell…’

    ‘...same war of three thousand years ago...’

    The words were a continuing round of endless repetitions of fact and rumour spoken almost as mantra. He could feel their need for reassurance.

    When Rain did see a cluster of children around a further corner he was relieved to think he had misjudged; if children were out, the situation in Farinwood could be redeemed. The Mantle could reverse darak mist- frightening as it was, it was only a manipulation- and could dampen the presence of fear and thereby restore Farinwood to the townspeople. It would mean concerted effort, but it was achievable.

    Rain halted to study the children, looking for the signs of fear evident in their elders. He was similarly scrutinised. Across the intersection they stared at each other.

    He shivered again, and began then to understand the men and their homemade weapons, their words and depression, their terrible wariness and the withdrawal from outsiders. He began to understand what Infinity had achieved.

    Here it was about the children. Elsewhere on Valaris there were unexplained deaths and events, all frightening, but here it was definitely about the children.

    One lad curled both his hands into claws and bared his teeth. He rose onto his toes as if about to launch an attack.

    He was in actual danger; Rain sensed it instantly. There was appalling knowledge in the children’s dead eyes and they were not afraid to attack and kill like rabid dogs; as with rabid dogs, it was thus wise to retreat. Innocent children were now dark beings- incomplete at this juncture- but approaching the point where nothing would save them from an abominable fate.

    The Mantle could not reverse this. He could do little to help them. He could do nothing and that meant Valaris was in real trouble.

    He hurriedly turned another corner, the back of his neck prickling, and ahead saw a sign that proclaimed the Foaming Ale Inn. He felt the need to surrender the streets; never had an inn appeared at a more opportune time.

 

 

    A vestibule sported a pewter hat and coat stand and beside it a mirror in a chipped gilt frame. The floor was rough slate. As a welcome chamber it was not pretty or inviting. The stand was empty; either he was early, the only patron, or fear kept others away. The tension on the streets spoke of the latter. He had not tended his appearance in days and was shocked when he glanced in the mirror. Clammy skin. Fair hair hung in long, damp strings, grey eyes bloodshot, his face colourless. Scratches from sliding down the scree.

    Rain leaned against the mirror, closing his eyes. His heartbeat was uneven; the presence of fear. He drew breath and turned for the common room.

    The inn door slammed inward before he could complete the action, and a new arrival barged in, glanced warily over his shoulder, shoved the door closed again and looked Rain over intently. A big man with flaming red hair and beard a shade darker, shoulders the size of an ox and a voice to match when he spoke. Rain’s eyes narrowed in suspicion. This was not a local.

    ‘Rain of the Mantle?’ the man boomed. ‘Name’s McSee. Relax, my lord, you have nothing to fear from me. You are Rain of the Mantle?’ He thrust his hand out.

    Too flabbergasted then to do much else, Rain nodded and took the proffered hand. Long after he would wonder what would have happened had he said no to the query; would McSee have turned away not to be seen again, or were their fates already decided before that first handshake?

    ‘Been on your tail a few days. Just missed you in Galilan. You move fast…thirsty work. Let’s see if this dump lives up to its name!’ McSee glanced disparagingly around the vestibule and launched into the common room, not giving Rain an opportunity to get a word in. ‘An ale, barkeep! And one for my friend!’ He rolled like a runaway boulder across the empty room to a table at the hearth. A fire blazed warmth and comfort.

    Rain followed in bemusement, connected by the casual claim of friends sharing a drink; to appear stubborn would only alert the barkeeper.

    Rain sat, nodding greeting. McSee watched the small, rotund man busy behind the counter, and the little man winked and then returned Rain’s greeting with a nod of his own. He had a friendly face and as he poured he asked: ‘Need rooms? No problem. We’re empty presently, the unseasonable weather putting the fear of who-knows-what into superstitious folk. Granted, I’ve never known weather like this in all my years here, not in summer. Still, superstitious nonsense.’ He came over with two foaming mugs.

    Changeling children, and the man called it superstition. Rain frowned into his mug as he lifted it to his mouth to swirl the dust of travel away.

    McSee paid. ‘Yes, rooms and hot water. I don’t know about my friend here, but I could sorely use a scrubbing.’

    The little man pulled a face. ‘It’s all I can do to keep this fire going, my staff left me in the lurch- I told them it’s fairytales and legends, but no one listens. We’re in for a spell of poorly weather, seeing as we always have it so good…you know, nature’s way of letting us know who’s in charge. Mist from a netherworld, ha! Superstitious nonsense,’ he added for good measure. ‘Name’s Julian.’ He looked pointedly at McSee, and then glanced at Rain, dark eyes inquisitive, and one could not blame him; he was in the business of people and visitors were scarce.

    McSee spoke the introductions. ‘McSee,’ he said, thrusting his hand out again. Rain winced, having recently shaken that hand. ‘Just out from Gasmoor. And this here,’ McSee continued, ‘is Rain of…’ Rain faintly shook his head. ‘…ah, Rain of Galilan.’

    Julian extended his hand to enfold Rain’s in a firm grip. ‘He’s rather quiet, your friend Rain, isn’t he?’

    ‘Tired, Julian, more tired than I have been in a long while,’ Rain answered, ignoring McSee’s curious gaze.

    ‘Oh, apologies, sirs, apologies! Hot water…yes, and something to eat…excuse me…’ and, managing to curb his curiosity, Julian left.

    ‘Did you see them? The young ones?’ McSee murmured. ‘Is he blind?’ He gestured after the round man.

    ‘He is afraid. Denial is a form of defence.’ Rain settled back and took a deep pull of ale. The brew definitely lived up to the name above the door. He glanced at the big man. ‘McSee. From Gasmoor.’ Gasmoor was the second largest centre on Valaris, a university city two days ride from Galilan, the capital city. ‘Well, that’s a start. So, McSee, you seem to know a little more about me than I know of you. How is that?’

    McSee did not drop his gaze. ‘I mean you no harm, my lord.’

    ‘That remains to be seen. At this point answer my question.’

    McSee sighed, set his mug down and, settling his big arms on the polished wood, twisted his fingers together. ‘I was chosen to find you, for we’ve noticed the same distressing signs the Mantle has…’

    ‘We?’

    ‘A society, my lord…’

    ‘Don’t call me that, for Aaru’s sake; I don’t want unnecessary attention. Rain will do fine.’

    ‘Of course, I’m sorry, my…Rain.’ McSee scratched self-consciously at his head.

    ‘A society,’ Rain prompted.

    Brown eyes were sombre, expecting trouble. ‘A society of folk who think there’s great danger a-foot. We also believe what we see is a fraction of what’s coming. Allow me to offer my help. If nothing else, I find my size in odd situations is an advantage.’ There was a trace of embarrassed diffidence in McSee’s voice, but as his claim could not be named as a lie, he did not back down from it.

    ‘You’re not answering my question, friend. How is it you know of me? Perhaps twenty outsiders know of the existence of the Mantle.’

    ‘The Society knows as well,’ McSee murmured, toning his voice down on hearing Julian scuffling in an adjoining chamber. The way he accented Society revealed it as more than a generic term. ‘We know the Mantle is an organization studying signs and portents. You’re the protectors, right?’

    In a manner of speaking, Rain thought, but did not answer directly. ‘And what exactly does this Society of yours do?’

    For the first time the big man was uncomfortable and wary. ‘They said this will be the hardest part, and now I see why…but, please, don’t get steamed until I have a chance to explain…’ He lapsed into tongue-tied silence.

    Rain took a deep breath and released it on a long sigh. ‘Something like the Mantle?’

    McSee nodded. ‘Our goals are similar, but we’re more than mere academics…’

    And so is the Mantle. ‘I get that,’ Rain said.

    Something in Rain’s tone alerted the big man, for he sighed wearily. ‘I’m instructed to tell the real truth, so here it is: the Society is a select group of…well, of sorcerers…no, no, wait,’ McSee interjected as Rain straightened in his chair, ‘…it’s really not what you think! We don’t do darak magic, I swear; we don’t practice magic at all, only theory.’

    Rain lifted a disbelieving eyebrow, and thought that meant they were only academics.

    ‘It’s true,’ McSee continued. ‘We train generation to generation in an attempt to keep the old knowledge alive. Long ago someone understood we’d need the theoretical arts. Folk forgot about the Society as time passed, especially after the Drasso catastrophe, but we were there then and saw what real danger is. We weren’t formal like now, maybe not so hidden, and probably not quite as unpractised as today, but that was then and I don’t know much about the past and only about the future we seek to protect. The way things add up, we need countering that can reach beyond traditional weapons. We’re not a danger to the Mantle or Valaris, quite the contrary, and if you need to keep me nearby just to prove that, then so be it; I’ll earn your trust soon enough.’

    McSee leaned in. ‘You are of the Mantle, my lord…’ and he used Rain’s title deliberately, ‘… so you must know Valaris can’t hope to survive the coming darkness without trained sorcerers. Who will help us if we don’t help ourselves? I can sniff danger and fight it also.’ McSee paused, concerned at the other man’s silence, by his expressionless gaze. ‘Rain, I’d be honoured to stand at your side.’

    Rain was a power in an underworld of influential men and McSee clearly knew that. Did the man aim to aid him with the different power of the Society? What, exactly, could he do? And how much did he know of the Mantle?

    In the ensuing silence they heard Julian throwing water. The innkeeper would return soon.

    When Rain finally spoke his voice remained low. The men with weapons outside needed just a spark, a whiff of a whisper of a sorcerer inside, and all Julian had to do was shout.

    ‘You’re telling me there’s a group the Mantle doesn’t know of and you say this group has been in existence a long time. There are trained sorcerers running amok on this world…by Taranis, man, how do you expect me to react?’

    McSee put up a hand. ‘Three thousand years ago Valaris was the battlefield for Infinity and Drasso and their darak fallen, and the Deities descended to aid us in that war. Today we don’t know how much is fact or fairytale, but we do know there was a war and our world was almost destroyed. A handful survived, the north was forever annihilated, and it took Valaris almost a thousand years to recover. We still have the poison of the north, which the Great Dividing Forest separates us from. And now someone like Drasso could be happening again.’

    Rain gave a wry smile. The big man was on target. Infinity had returned, no doubt to exact revenge for the death of her son Drasso.

    ‘Will the Deities come to our aid? Dare we wait for that to happen? Do we allow it to get so bad it takes another thousand years to recover?’ McSee leaned earnestly forward. ‘Better if we join forces…’ He broke off as Julian re-entered the common room.

    ‘Good news, gentlemen. Two tubs in the steam room out back. Fresh towels just inside the door…’ Julian’s bright eyes darted from one to the other, sensing the strained atmosphere.

    Rain pushed his chair back. ‘We’ll resume this later, McSee. Lead on, Julian.’

    McSee followed without an inkling as to how mercurial Rain could be…or how dangerous.

 

 

    A screech tore through the town of Farinwood. Rain surged up in his bed as the reverberations shivered over his skin. The echoes of his dream- a fair girl crying out her name, ‘Mitrill, my name is Mitrill- caused momentary confusion, and then he knew where and when he was. Night in Farinwood.

    Here it was a child on the hunt. And not alone.

    And then, like crystal shattering in the ensuing dead silence, a woman sobbing as if her heart had been ripped from her body.

    Aaru, how could the men on the streets be expected to stop this? One was father to that screeching child. One was husband to the woman trapped in hopeless grief.

    Anger was then heat and resolve. Rain left his bed, snatched his cloak up for warmth and doused the smoking lamp on the small table under the window. A moment later he snapped his fingers for the tiny flame that danced upon his palm. A sorcerer’s trick. And, on this world that despised even a sunset as too much magic, a noose slung over a branch. He needed to be ever careful; vigilantism was alive and well on Valaris and continually on the prowl for magic-users, a mindset that would lead to confrontation. Infinity would win by default- men would kill each other while she laughed from the sidelines.

    He cupped his free hand around the flame. Enfolding magic, even this insignificant nuance, gifted him the ability to witness events beyond his immediate surroundings.

    He employed the flame to see what the darkness hid.

    Leaves skittered across cobbles, driven by gusts of contrary wind. A storm was on the way. The leaves lifted and swirled and smacked into the calves of two boys, slim shadows peering through a tall iron gate at a man holding aloft a blacksmith’s hammer. There was a sense of hunger emanating from the boys and terrible despair was etched into the man’s face.

   Would the gate keep them apart?

   Rain’s breathing shallowed when those shadows swiftly clambered over and padded closer. The man swung the hammer, but it was evident he was loath to use it even for defence. How did a man sleep again after hurting children? And then they were upon him and Rain’s breathing stopped. The heavy hammer thudded down; leaves scurried and rustled as if prodded and young fingers and mouths tore into cloth and flesh.

    A horrible gurgle echoed. Insane giggles. Rain lost his hold on the flame as shock numbed his ability to function.

    He gasped in oxygen and sweat trickled in icy rivulets over his face.

    Hands on knees he fought for equilibrium and feverishly hoped Aven would know how to counter this nightmare. He prayed the old man was still alive in this netherworld town.

 

Chapters

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Elaina wrote 349 days ago

RAIN has received the most amazing review! Follow the link to my Facebook page and have a gander...

Elaina wrote 408 days ago

A quick head's up: Gathering of Rain is available as an ebook on Smashwords and Barnes&Noble (and others). If you leave a comment here, PLEASE help me with reviews on those sites- thanks!

Elaina

PS: Volumes II and III are there also, and Volume IV is about to go live.

Jack Hughes wrote 507 days ago

This is a hugely impressive work, showing great vision and originality and it would be wrong to think of it in genre terms. Each story needs the same elements of character, description and voice and Gathering of Rain does all of these very well. You are obviously a talented and very creative author and I'm looking forward to reading some more when I have the chance. This amazing story deserves to do well.

Backed with my compliments.

Jack Hughes
Dawn of Shadows

Famlavan wrote 617 days ago

Not my genre but this is not only good, it is very good!
There is something about the style and structure that has captured (apart from me) something quite special.
I like the characters you develop, they’re alive and intricate and intriguing.
Rain is just brilliant.
I’m recommending this to others I know on this site. – Very, very good.

Christina McClean wrote 684 days ago

This genre is not my thing at all! But I have come across one or two gems in Authonomy and this is one of them. The writing has a sense of urgency, no words are wasted, descriptions are economical, enough to give us the atmosphere and the characters. We are encouraged to use our imagination. I love the names especially Rain. The endings too keep us turning the page. I hope this reaches the editors desk.
Backed
Christina
From Under the Bed

Neville wrote 71 days ago

Gathering of Rain.
By Elainer. J. Davidson.

Make no mistake about it - this is a brilliant piece of writting.
From opening the first page, I was struck by the shear ability of the author to offer the reader excellent descriptive scenes,some of which are quite awesome! Great stuff!!
It has it all, magic, fantasy, sorcery, you name it it's there.
I've only covered a few chapters and dipped in here and there, It's enough to know what this books made of and the way the storyline is going. I will be back of course to read more.
Can't fault it - excellent read and well thought, out I'm sure.
Pleased to star rate it high and get it on my shelf in the next few days.

Kind regards,

Neville.The Secrets of the Forest - The Time Zone.

afesmith wrote 334 days ago

Oooh, this has changed quite a lot from what I recall.

I like the prologue. Short and to the point, it provides both an indication of what the medallion (medaillon?) is and a hint of the darkness to come.

The opening of the first chapter is suitably creepy, and you crank it up a notch with the possessed children. That’s a really horrible idea and raises the stakes pretty high, making it clear that Rain’s up against some fearsome forces. And that makes me want to read on :-)

‘Long after, he would wonder …’ – I tend not to like this sort of thing. It pulls me out of the immediacy of the story and into an awareness that it is indeed a story being told (rather than being immersed in the events so that they become real to me). Unless you’re really attached to it, I’d suggest removing that sentence – but maybe it’s just my personal preference.

I like the McSee character, and the dialogue in this scene was good. Revealed about the right amount of information to ground the reader without giving too much backstory.

I didn’t quite follow the final scene of the chapter (after Rain wakes from dreaming of the girl). I think I was a bit confused by the transition from him dreaming about a child to hearing a child screech – when I read it the first time, I still wasn’t sure whether the woman and the men are connected to the dream child or a real child. Maybe elaborate ever so slightly on ‘Here it was a child on the hunt’ to make it clear he is now hearing things in the real world and everything that follows is related to that. Plus the way Rain then views events in the flame makes it feel dreamlike again – so I’m still not quite sure what’s real. It’s all very atmospheric and sinister, though. I assume the two children killed the man? *Shudder.*

I’ll read on next week when I have the time, but in the meantime I’ll pop this up on my shelf for a bit. It doesn't deserve a red arrow :-)

Francene Stanley wrote 341 days ago

Today, I read chapter 2. The conversation is believable, with interesting body movements to keep the reader glued to the page. Beautiful poetic writing.

I found one not in the para beginning: Rain laughed ... Two sentences start with When ...

I'm happy to back this again.

Francene. Still Rock Water.

curiousturtle wrote 347 days ago

Elaina,

I started reading your Opus and thought I would give you my cent and half:

The first thing that jumps here is the style. There is a whispering tone to your entire narrative, as you accumulate one poetic moment onto the next....

....the way lilies accumulate on a pond.

.....each one crystallizing tiny emotions on the reader's mind

the result, the reader is moved and stirred by a recurring pile of original language thrown confetti like.....

........as if the writer was saying:....here....take it all...

.....so much the reader almost forgets that there is fable hiding...

....somewhere in there.

....for he is falling in love with the poetry.


Some of my favorites:

"and he rushed nothing..."

"nestled in a fold"

"the town itself"

"unseeing after initial scrutiny"

"his face colorless"
marvelous..

"a deep pull of ale"

"the leaves lifted....
This has a wonderful liminal quality.
By that what I mean is that the words "react" in the reader's mind upon being read.

"She drew breath and released it slowly"

Overall, wonderful

david

Elaina wrote 349 days ago

RAIN has received the most amazing review! Follow the link to my Facebook page and have a gander...

M. A. McRae. wrote 380 days ago

This is a thrilling novel, and well written.
You have a gift for evoking atmosphere, the brooding atmosphere of the streets, the rabid children, the relief of the inn, 'a fire blazed warmth and comfort.' Your description is good, and your choice of wording cannot be faulted. There is tension, excitement, and I expect if I'd read far enough, plenty of action.
This is a book that deserves to go far.
Marj.

Stuart & Victor wrote 383 days ago

backed AS PROMISED!!!!

Stuart & Victor wrote 388 days ago

Thak you!!!... have 6 starred this based on the pitch to show intent and have added to our WL which means you WILL make our shelf in the next (+2) round of backings (its 11pm for us). Feel free to chase at ANY TIME n will let u know exactly how long till ur going up......

ClaireLouise wrote 393 days ago

I love the attention to detail, a very good fantasy. I wish I had time to read more! Added to WL and I 'll back asap,
Best of lcuktwith this, Claire

briantodd wrote 405 days ago

Larger than life Rain with the support of McSee and Averroes (now why did you choose that name?) are good characters and lead the action in the first four chapters. I often get lost in fantasy literature. The language can be confusing and there is too much happening that I don't understand but this is a storyline I can follow. The children turned to killers is a good plot device and the early appearance of the medallion is well handled. It is all dark and spooky and rather mysterious but intriguing. As the focus moves away from these characters I began to lose the storyline. Uploaded ch 5 and 6 seem pretty identical. Although there is lots of imaginative and descriptive writing in the later chapters I missed the characters we started with and would like to get back to them.

Elaina wrote 408 days ago

A quick head's up: Gathering of Rain is available as an ebook on Smashwords and Barnes&Noble (and others). If you leave a comment here, PLEASE help me with reviews on those sites- thanks!

Elaina

PS: Volumes II and III are there also, and Volume IV is about to go live.

Rebecca G Steven wrote 464 days ago

Thank you for your kind comments on my collection of stories. Your book "Gathering of Rain", although Fantasy is not something I would ususally go for seems to be really very original and entertaining and you obviously care a great deal about how you write. Good luck with it, I shall keep and eye for you and am happy to back you.

ccb1 wrote 471 days ago

Adding Gathering of Rain to our watchlist.
CC Brown
Dark Side

Eunice Attwood wrote 483 days ago

Great craftsmanship at work. Quite dark and eerie at times, but a well thought out plot. Backed. Eunice - The Temple Dancer.

Beth Anne Wilkins wrote 486 days ago

Very spooky book, I love spooky and shades of darkness. Did not have the time to read enough as I wanted too but liked your story and well written as well. Good luck and backed. Beth Anne

I. Soldatos wrote 488 days ago

I really enjoyed reading this, though I haven't really read any high fantasy in a long time. I could nitpick, here and there on style, but I won't. Simply because it really would be nitpicking, and none of it affected my enjoyment of it. Suggesting rearrangements of commas and full stops at this stage seems a bit silly. Plus, you've been trying to upload an edited version, I see, and technology hasn't been cooperating -- so there's really nothing to say. :-)

As far as I'm concerned, I would very much like to read the whole thing!
And if you're wondering what hooked me, and kept me reading, it was the main character. From the first page, his "voice" and POV make him feel "alive". He feels like a real person, and for me that's the make or break of any book.

Backed with pleasure!

I. Soldatos
Bad Bishop

Wilma1 wrote 494 days ago

I like the relationship between Avendeath and Rain, by the way great name for a sorcerer I was not expecting them to be allies. You paint a wonderful mythical story and I really enjoyed the read even though this is not a genre I’m used to.
Check out in chapter three you change case from McSee to Mcsee.
A delightful story with well crafted characters and believable dialogue.
Wilma1
Knowing Liam Riley – Please spend a moment to take a look

name falied moderation wrote 496 days ago

Dear Elaine,
I know I backed your book and commented, however I cannot find it. I am going to do so again just in case. If it happened the first time it will not show. best of luck
Denise
The Letter

Linda Lou wrote 499 days ago

GATHERING OF RAIN-Elaina J. Davidson
hullo Elaina. first up I am not a sci fi/fantasy reader most of thye time. But, i will say that your writing and plot is fairly easy to follow, not too many words that I cannot pronounce. Ha-ha great story. Already shelved and backed.
Please take a look at my book if you have not and thanks for that.
Linda Lou Long
Southern dis-Comfort
http://www.authonomy.com/ViewBook.aspx?bookid=11421

Jack Hughes wrote 507 days ago

This is a hugely impressive work, showing great vision and originality and it would be wrong to think of it in genre terms. Each story needs the same elements of character, description and voice and Gathering of Rain does all of these very well. You are obviously a talented and very creative author and I'm looking forward to reading some more when I have the chance. This amazing story deserves to do well.

Backed with my compliments.

Jack Hughes
Dawn of Shadows

Herschel Shirley wrote 510 days ago

A good 'old school' fantasy, the kind I like. I would buy this book. Fantasy should be about the struggle between good and evil with thin lines between the two in places. You accomplish this in just the first two chapters. Very nice. Backed.

Take a look at my fantasy, 'Earth Reaver'. I would welcome any comments.

Rachael Cox wrote 514 days ago

A very well written and intriguing start. Your writing flows and draws the reader into the characters and the story. Beautiful use of language and an interesting plot.
Best of luck
Rachael
(Dreamscape)

Oliva wrote 515 days ago

Wow! What a powerful opening prologue. It's sure to snatch readers and keep them engrossed. As I read onward, I noted your poetic prose and great descriptions. This is great writing coupled with a captivating story. I'm going to read more of this!
Oliva

memphisgirl wrote 516 days ago

Nice balance of inner thoughts, description, dialogue. Fine rendering of a fantasy world.

Memphisgirl
Ashes By Now

Elaina wrote 524 days ago

Still trying to upload edits, but defeated by 'error' at every turn. Chapters 1-4 are close to the edited version; thereafter it gets a bit mixed up. I hope to fix it soon!

flower girl wrote 527 days ago

This isn't my normal genre, but your writing style really suits it. I'm in awe of your use of words and the imagery you create. Backed.

tisseurdecontes wrote 529 days ago

Well written. You do an excellent of job of drawing the reader in. At the end of the prologue the reader knows almost nothing, but you know enough to want to read more and you don't feel like you have no idea what is going on. This is not easy to achieve with fantasy where the reader finds himself in a world outside of his/her experience. Good job.

Backed.

Steven Lloyd
THE AUDACITY OF HOPE AND CHANGE

Elaina wrote 531 days ago

Have tried to upload edits, keep receiving error message. Thus, FYI, Authonomy chapters 1 - 4 are correct, but from 5 onward...well, I'll try another update tomorrow.

Thanks
Elaina

sjwilling wrote 533 days ago

Very well written, intriguing and hard to put down. Thank you.

S.J.

Francene Stanley wrote 541 days ago

I enjoyed the read because you have set up an intriguing world. The reader must find out what's gone wrong. The worst thing of course, is that the children are affected. Children are the future and must be protected. Your descriptions are good and draw the reader into the story.

In the first paragraph, the reader has to go back on the words to remember what the man is doing. When you say: It took time, insert what--'his work', 'the moulding and marking of the golden disc' or whatever. This is the most important piece of your whole book.

In the second paragraph: ...as well as the voice that was impetuous and creation. This doesn't make sense to me. Impetuous with creation?

When Fain approaches Fairnwood, you could show us what he sees, rather than having the narrator tell us. How does he feel about the town? Is he eager? Does he approach with dread? What does he semll? Show everything through his eyes.

When he gets to the corner, tell us who meets his eyes rather than they. You're missing out on impact here. I think you would benefit from joining a good critique group, who would help you iron out a few writing points and teqniques. I could recommend Internet Writing Workshop. I know you have little time to spare, but you can download other people's chapters and work on them in your own time. In return they'll do the same for you.

Please take anything I say as my opinion only. Use what you will and toss the rest. Keep your chin up and keep on writing!

Eric D. Mertz wrote 546 days ago

I like this genre, but have found little in the way of good fantasy in bookstores. This is good fantasy. The story you are weaving here is excellent, and the world they are inhabiting feels truly fantastic, with a sense of impending doom and darkness in the air. The tension feels real, and the threat otherworldly. This has the potential for far more stories set within this world, and I would not mind exploring it.

Eric D. Mertz
Fracture War: The Montana Crisis

Splinker wrote 553 days ago

Backed
Splinker
"I've Been Deader."

Owen Quinn wrote 554 days ago

I can only echo previous comments, this is my sort of thing and from the great cover and sharp premise alone, i was hooked. This is a strong supernatural story with great named places that evoke magic and mystery and echoes of the centuries, of a hidden history that we are not aware of. very good.

Walden Carrington wrote 560 days ago

Elaina,
Gathering of Rain draws the reader into this fanciful land in the writer's imagination. Backed with pleasure.

Marcus Fisch wrote 561 days ago

All the ingredients are here for a bestseller.
Backed. (Hope you look at mine.)
Abel Kane
The Alchemists' Cookbook

ikraft wrote 564 days ago

I find this very intriguing, especially because of the limited number of details given in the pitch - it made it sound mysterious. I'm not sure the 'dear reader' part was entirely necessary as that is an idea that you are trying to demonstrate in your book (don't tell us, show us, even though I know that sounds cliche). Other than that though, I love it! The beginning is nice and well-paced so that you get a good idea of setting and can figure out what's going on, which works for your genre. I have only read chapter one, but I will keep going later today!

Best Wishes,
Ian Kraft

ikraft wrote 564 days ago

I find this very intriguing, especially because of the limited number of details given in the pitch - it made it sound mysterious. I'm not sure the 'dear reader' part was entirely necessary as that is an idea that you are trying to demonstrate in your book (don't tell us, show us, even though I know that sounds cliche). Other than that though, I love it! The beginning is nice and well-paced so that you get a good idea of setting and can figure out what's going on, which works for your genre. I have only read chapter one, but I will keep going later today!

Best Wishes,
Ian Kraft

SammySutton wrote 567 days ago

Elaina,

Great plot. Super well-developed characters and setting.
Valaris is a compelling character!
Backing!
Good Luck!

Sammy Sutton
King Solomon's '13'

Katy Christie wrote 571 days ago

I'm afraid I found the tale rather confusing to start with but that could just be because I'm not used to reading this type of genre. However, I can see how it could develop and it has the potential for a good read.
Katy Christie
No Man No Cry

SammySutton wrote 573 days ago

Elaina,
Excellent. Great plot, your writing captures the mood.
Great book to curl up with some evening.
Good Luck!
Sammy Sutton
King Solomon's '13'

EltopiaAuthor wrote 574 days ago

The first two sentences of your book description hooked me into looking at your first page, as this is not a genre I would usually gravitate to. So ... E for excellence on the description.

My thoughts on Ch 1: You have a good strong story hook with your prologue.

Your story actually starts, for me at least, with the Prologue. The prologue works on my spirit, gives me that yearning sensation that a magical, mystical, mysterious story has begun. At that point it arouses my curiosity and piques my imagination. The hook starts with the sentence, "In a time now past beyond memory, a man whispered over a g olden disc ..." That sentence is SOLID GOLD!

My only thought is, "Why doesn't the author let that be the first sentence that the reader sees?"

All the introductory stuff that is above that sentence is just baggage that detracts from that wonderful sentence and from that mysterious, magical opening, what should be the opening paragraph of the story.

Here's what I try to do: I write my best shot, then I go back and look over the first page or so, looking for the GOLDEN SENTENCE or the GOLDEN PARAGRAPH. Keep reading your own stuff until you find that magical part that is your hidden treasure -- often it is buried within the first page or two -- then elevate that jewel to the first of the story.

Good luck to you. Hope to see you at the top.

F. Ellsworth Lockwood
"The Final Cruise"

Cariad wrote 577 days ago

An interesting opening with the fashioning of the medallion and lots of hooks to draw the reader in. Watchlisted to read when I return from work.

djinnia wrote 577 days ago

so confused. there is so much information: mantle, divide, maghdim, etc. i'm not complaining, but lots of information and people are introduced at such a fast pace. (or more than likely, i'm just very dull witted)

i liked what i did understand. i feel slow today.

me

Lara wrote 583 days ago

Delicately written fantasy. Backed
Lara
Good for Him

carlashmore wrote 583 days ago

This is some very accomplished fantasy writing and your prose is both lyrical yet accessible. From reading your opening chapters, I can see that you have a true and thorough grasp of the incredible world you have created. The only bit that didn;t flow for me was the sentences 'Knives, cudgels, even a rusty saw.' It didn;t seem to follow your previous sentence. This might be me but I did read it a few times to try and make sense of it. Still, this is very well written.
Carl
The Time Hunters

Craig Ellis wrote 584 days ago

Beautifully written, with a dialogue and flow to be envied. Great descriptive ability. Backed.

Craig Ellis
The Sun and the Saber

Vanessa Darnleigh wrote 586 days ago

This makes very pleasant reading...straightforward and atmospheric...well done!
Stewart

Elaina wrote 588 days ago

Nothing wrong with your writing of this, but there are sooooooo many fantasies on the site. Why did you write it? Why not turn your obvious talents to something more unusual rather than stick with the alternative worlds that everyone appears to be escaping to.
Lara
Good For Him



Thanks for the read and comments. Usually I don't reply here, but this is for future readers...

Why do I write Fantasy? I have written other genres (or tried) and never finish. It's as if reality cannot match what my characters can achieve on and in another place and time. Imagination gives wings! And, one can 'discuss' subjects considered 'controversial' if described in a setting applicable to this world...

Lara wrote 588 days ago

Nothing wrong with your writing of this, but there are sooooooo many fantasies on the site. Why did you write it? Why not turn your obvious talents to something more unusual rather than stick with the alternative worlds that everyone appears to be escaping to.
Lara
Good For Him

andrew skaife wrote 589 days ago

Very reminiscent of a Frank Herbert. You have captured my attention and I will be back with detailed comments in a week or so. At the moment I don't have time for more than to say BACKED. Look forward to reading more.