Book Jacket

 

rank 1185
word count 93233
date submitted 11.02.2009
date updated 15.01.2010
genres: Fiction, Science Fiction, Fantasy, ...
classification: universal
complete

The Bibble

James Stanford

Could music be the key to the perfect world - and why are comfortable shoes so damned important?

 

‘The Bibble’ is the story of an extra terrestrial road trip during which an extraordinarily average fellow deals with discovering that the fate of Earth and its five sister planets may just rest on his shoulders. Jaunting around the cosmos in a camper van powered by a Bloody Stupid Generator, Thelopius Rumblebutt and his companions discover a plot to end the world, stumble across the most feculent man in known history, do battle with Beelzebub, and drink copious amounts of a cocktail that has been known to start wars.

Could one man be responsible for life on Earth? Is the universe as we know it run by aging alcoholics with a penchant for extended holidays? Can an utterly normal bloke from Swindon save the world as we know it? Does he even know that he has to? And why is that chartered accountant wielding a cudgel? There's only one way to find out...

'The Bibble' is complete at 93,000 words.

 
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tags

alternative world, beelzebub, comedy, comic fantasy, douglas adams, fantasy, good vs evil, jasper fforde, music, outlandish, pop culture, religion, sc...

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The Bit At The Start

 

“Bugger!” Said God.

Dropping his astral hammer, he proceeded to hop up and down across the cluttered workshop, cursing and swearing creatively. This was to be expected, as doing things creatively comes with the territory. Once he had cursed the name of all things, then the name of some things he hadn’t created yet, then invented some new bits of anatomy, he calmed down a little. He stalked over to a small writing desk in the corner, on which there was a large thick leather bound book lying open.  Pulling a grubby little pencil from behind his ear and licking the end, he began to write.

 

DAY 6: All this bloody flat earth brouhaha is really beginning to get on my nerves.  I don’t care what they say, it’s complete cobblers – The slightest breeze and everything slides off the bloody thing.  Gravity is a virtual impossibility, and I’ve tried gluing it all down but those damn stupid humans keep pulling their legs off to get mobile. And continental drift – bloody continental slip off the edge more like.  It’s like a load of big flat green lemmings in here.  ‘Try something different’ they say, ‘spheres are so last year’ they say.  I even tried a bleeding cube to please the buggers, and one of them dropped it on his foot.  No, stick to what you know, and leave the clever stuff to the clever folk.  I like my balls, and I want to keep them.  By which I mean spherical planets.

NB: Thinking of growing a beard, getting some robes in, going for the whole wise thing.  I hear it’s going to be really huge this season.  I’m just worried I’ll look like my Dad.

 

God dropped his pencil and scratched his chin thoughtfully.

“One more before tea,” he announced “ GABRIEL!”

Somewhere in the distance was the sound of broken crockery (well, crockery being broken - once it’s smashed it stays pretty quiet). God sighed and his eyes went heavenwards, which in this case was towards the garden outside the window.  Heavy feet thudded down some stairs, and by the sound of it rolled the last few steps.

“HowcanIhelpsir?” Spluttered the tubby, short, red faced and breathless man who burst through the door.

“Gabriel.”

“Yes sir.”

“You’ve got chocolate on your chin.  No, you missed it.  Left a bit…. my left…. that’s better.”

“Sorry sir.”

“Hmm.  I think we need to have that talk about corsetry.   Anyway, where’s that planet I asked you to throw on the compost heap earlier?  The one the Advisors said was too round.”

“Um, in the kitchen, sir.”

“In the kitchen.”

“Yes.”

“Not on the compost heap.”

“No.”

“Despite the fact I asked you over four hours ago.”

“I was just getting round to it, sir, but…”

“You were eating a chocolate cake.”

“Yes.”

“Ho hum, never mind.  Luckily enough, I need it back.  Be a good chap and fetch it here for me.  And no dipping into the jelly bean jar while you’re there.”

A few minutes later Gabriel returned with a small blue and green ball sitting comfortably in the palm of his hand.  Meanwhile, God had gone over to a cupboard in the corner, and from a bag selected a thin metal pole with a kind of flat blade attached at right angles to one end.  He took the planet, and stepped outside into the bright sunlight.  Striding purposefully across a perfect lawn, he made his way to a tiny hillock, where he stabbed a bowl topped spike into the earth, and balanced the planet on top.

“FORE!” He bellowed, and sent Earth spinning into orbit.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


 
Chapter One

 

“Hello Tel,” said the little fat man sitting at the kitchen table. “How have you been keeping?”

Thelopius looked at him for a moment, pausing as if in mid decision.  The spoon hovered in mid air and coffee granules bounced one by one onto the work surface. He blinked twice, considering the mans presence for a moment before speaking.

“Not too bad, thanks,” he said carefully. “Just got in from work, thought I’d have a cuppa.  Yourself?”

“The usual, Tel, the usual.  Old Bob still pottering in the garden, that sort of thing.”

Thelopius wiped up the spilt coffee granules, his brow furrowed.

“Jolly good, jolly good.   Is he well?”

“Yes, yes, fit as a fiddle.  Just not interested any more, if you know what I mean.  Says all the fun has gone out of it.”

“Yes, of course,” he spooned sugar into his cup, “the fun.   One thing… who are you exactly?  It’s just, well, I don’t want to appear rude, but I really can’t place your face, and this is my kitchen.  And you’re in it.  And those are my doughnuts.”

“Didn’t know how long you’d be, got peckish sort of thing.  Sorry.”

“Yes, I’m sure you are.”

He waited a moment.

“Now please put them down.”

“One more.”

“No.”

“Oh.  Have you got any biscuits?”

“Yes I have, and no you can’t.  I’d really rather know who you are first?”

The little fat man looked Thelopius up and down, scratching at his chin.  Once he had worked the crumb loose he ate it. 

“You really don’t know me, do you?” 

“I really gave myself away when I said ‘who are you’ didn’t I?  Tel checked his grip on the heavy kettle.

“Hmm.  Does the name Steve mean anything to you?

“I know Steve the fishmonger in the market, but that’s not you.  And I know Steve at the call centre, but he’s not you either.  I don’t know you.  At all.”  He stood with his legs at shoulder width apart, not quite sure of the correct tough yet not too threatening attitude to adopt.

“Bob?  Do you know Bob?”

“Bob……Bob……Bob….”

“You look remarkably like a goldfish.”

“Shut up.  I don’t know Bob.”

“That could make things very difficult.”

“I’m already finding them quite taxing.  Are you some kind of loony?”

The little fat man shook his head sadly.

“I really don’t want to do this, you know.”

He took a deep breath, puffing out his chest.  He suddenly seemed larger, yet less tubby, more important, yet less self important.  More remarkably, his head was glowing and he had sprouted big white wings.

“Thelopius Rumblebutt, Traveller in space and time, Chronicler of the Universe, Keeper of the epochal conveyor, Eater of the kebab of ages, hark now, for this is your call to arms,” he boomed. “In the name of Bob the Almighty I command you to action, in defence of the very fabric of reality itself.  By your own oath I bid you follow me now.”

If it hadn’t been for the bit of jam on the fat mans nose Thelopius would have been very impressed.  As it was, he lay on the floor where he had fallen, drool dripping from his unconscious mouth.

 

A short chubby angel with food stuck on his face towering above him shouting about Turkish cuisine, and a vague feeling of deja-vu crowding his head.  It wasn’t a patch on the one where Elvis and George Formby were playing scrabble and arguing over the spelling of ‘uh-huh’ but it was enough to make him groan as he woke.  He invariably woke from these ones with a headache big enough for the neighbours to hear. 

He swung his legs to the floor and sat at the edge of the bed, shaking his head to clear it.  As he forced his eyelids open to greet the pain of light he groaned.  Sitting in the corner of the room with chocolate round his mouth was the fat man.  He put down the Easter egg and waved.

“Morning!  I thought you’d never come round.  How’s the head?”

“Bugger off.”

“Charming.  And I tucked you in last night and everything.”

“You’re not real, you fool.  You’re a figment of my imagination.  A dream, no more.”

“If I’m not real, then why does your head hurt?

“How do you know my head hurts?”

“I saw you land on it.”

“You saw…  ah, I see what you’re doing.  You’re in my head, so of course you know how I feel.  You’re playing mind games – or rather I’m playing mind games.  I shouldn’t even call you ‘you’, you’re me.  But with less style.  And more weight.”

“That’s below the belt, Tel.  I am dieting, honest.  It’s not easy.  I have…..cravings.”

“Stop eyeing that egg.  I bought that especially for a friend.”

“Really – who?”

“Um, well, it’s for…..Dave.  My mate Dave.”

“You haven’t got a mate called Dave.  In fact, you haven’t even got a mate.  You bought it for yourself.  Because you knew you wouldn’t get one otherwise. ”

“That’s not true!”

“Is too.  You have no friends, Tel.  Not here, you haven’t.  And there’s a good reason for that.”

“It’s the feet thing isn’t it?  It always seems to annoy people, that one.  I really can’t help it – my feet just seem be ergonomically perfect.

“No, Tel.  That’s a symptom of what you are.  What you are is why you are so extremely average – look at yourself.  You’re average height, weight, hair colour.  Sitting here in your little three bed semi, popping out to work at the call centre.  I mean, you even live in bleeding Swindon.  You’re the average man on the street; you’re pedestrian, mediocre, banal.  It’s no wonder that you have no friends.”

Thanks for that, but I really don’t want to investigate the inner me right now.  The time for soul searching is sometime when I’m awake.  Which I’m not.  And I’m not average – have you noticed the fetching hat and scarf on the hat stand?”

“The hat’s on the floor.”

“I missed.  But the point is that an average person wouldn’t have a nice wide brimmed hat like that, or the absurdly long scarf.  They’re a statement, they make me feel different.”

“Do you wear them often?”

“On special occasions.”

“How very average.  You should listen to me.  Tel, I’m your friend.”

“You’re my conscience or some bloody thing.  Now sod off.  I’m going back to sleep, and next time I really am going to wake up.”

“I won’t leave.”

“Can’t hear you.”

“I can wait.”

“La la la la la la la la la la la la la.”

“I’m off to use the phone.  I hope you’ll be a bit less grumpy when you get up.”

“Go ahead,” muttered Thelopius, “I get a special deal for imaginary friends and family.”

He rolled over and went back to sleep.

In the hallway, the fat man picked up the telephone.  He pulled out a little leather address book and proceeded to dial a number so long that he used all the buttons at least three times, and some others that weren’t even on the keypad.  Eventually he listened to the recorded tones of a pleasant sounding lady telling him that his call was important.  He was in a queue.  His call would be answered shortly.  His call was important.  He was currently number three in the queue.  His call was important.  Their operators would be getting to his call as soon as possible.  He was still number three in the queue.  His call was important.

Forty six minutes and twenty three seconds later he had risen through the ranks to lord it over all the other callers as number one in the queue.  He basked in this glory for a further twenty five minutes, during which time his call continued to be important.  Fortunately, he had long ago learned the art of patience.  Anyone with eternity on their hands needs to be able to cope with tedium.  Finally, a languid voice answered, dripping with boredom.

“Thank you for calling Clouds Recreation And Pleasure Resort, where business and pleasure can meet.  My name is Charlene, how can I help?”

“I’d like to speak to one of the Doctors please.”

“Hold the line.”

Ten minutes elapsed.

“Hello sir.”

“Yes.”

“Who should I say is calling?”

“Steve.  Just tell them Steve.”

Quarter of an hour slipped away this time.  His call was still important.

“I’m sorry sir, there’s no answer there.”

“Then why did you come back and ask my name?”

“I couldn’t put you through without announcing you.  Common telephone courtesy that is, sir.”

“You mean to say that you’ve been ringing them for over a quarter of an hour, and you’ve only just realised that they’re not in?”

“No, I rang them for about a minute.  Then I went for my break.”

“But I was sat here like a fool.”

“How you sit is down to you, sir.  Besides, the Union has rules about health and safety.  If I don’t get up and go for a cigarette at regular intervals, I could suffer permanent damage to my health.”

“Great.  Can I leave a message?”

“Certainly, sir.  If you could just phone our message line.  Just dial the normal number, then add twelve nines on the end. ”

“Can’t I give you the message?”

“No sir – Union rules you see.  I’m a Call Handling Operative.  I handle calls.  I can’t leave messages. It would deprive someone else of a job sir.  It’s my civic duty not to take your message.”

“Couldn’t you just write a note?”

“100 % computerised here, sir.  Totally paper free environment.  Very modern, sir.”

“Well could you send an email or something?  Print off a note, maybe?”

“Sorry sir, the systems are down.”

“But I’ve been sat here for over an hour and a half.”

“You really should have a break sir.  Bad for your health, that is.  I could send you some pamphlets on health and safety if you want. Sir……  hello.  Oh.  What a rude man.  Colin, I’m off for my lunch. ”

Steve redialled the incredibly long number, muttering to himself.  He was soon listening to another equally pleasant sounding voice, telling him to leave a message after the tone.  His message was going to be dealt with just as soon as possible.

“This is a message for the Doctors from Steve.  Something’s come up, it’s really quite important.  I can’t talk over the phone, but we need Tel, and he’s not listening.  He thinks I’m some sort of apparition and tells me to sod off.  I need your help urgently.  Please call me as soon as possible.”

He didn’t hear the little beep that had happened just after he said ‘Steve’.

 

Thelopius woke with a shudder, an inexplicable feeling of frustration enveloping him.  He felt hemmed in, trapped, crowded.  A repetitive thumping sound bounced around his head, his personal Chinese water torture.  Groaning he gripped his head with both hands, squeezing, almost as if he were trying to force the sounds out of his nostrils.  It wasn’t sound that he forced out of his nostrils, but something slightly gooier.  As he fumbled blindly for a tissue a single headlight shone through his morning brain fog, and his hand changed direction to the radio alarm clock.  Swiping the off button, the thumping stopped, his body relaxed and he sighed.  The only thing better than never listening to that, he opined privately, was those few blissful seconds of relief after turning it off.

“Sometimes,” he said aloud, “I wonder what’s happened to good music.  They just don’t write tunes anymore.”

Sometimes, he thought to himself, I sound like a real old fart.

Ten minutes later, while eating his corn flakes, he ran through the events of last night with The Insectosaurus (free inside selected packets, seven to collect).

“I got in, I remember that.  Went to make tea, I remember that.  Mad fat bloke ate my doughnuts then sprouted wings.  I wish I could forget that.”

The Insectosaurus looked sympathetically at him, in as much as a small lump of inanimate plastic can look sympathetic.

“I must have been dreaming, mustn’t I?”

The Insectosaurus gazed impassively.

“But if I was dreaming, then why can’t I remember anything else.”

Had it had shoulder muscles, The Insectosaurus would have shrugged.

“I must have fallen, hit my head, and triggered some kind of hallucinogenic experience.  I knew I should never have taken those mushrooms at the office party.”

Had it had a mouth, lungs and vocal cords, The Insectosaurus would have said that Thelopius knew perfectly well that those were normal mushrooms, and the hallucinogenic effect achieved at the time had been solely due to his inability to handle Stockroom Dave’s Really Painful Home Made Gut Wrencher.  This was an aptly named mixture, consisting largely of whisky, gin, vodka, lager and tar. When he threw up on the street, Thelopius had created a world first – a road that was guilty of drink driving.  It must have been absolutely plastered – Thelopius bore witness to it swaying from side to side before jumping up to head butt him. 

“I know, I know, it was the gut wrencher.  But in that case, how can last night be explained.”

The Insectosaurus looked knowledgeable.

“No.  No way.  It cannot be true.  If you think that I’m going to believe that I received a visitation from some kind of bloated angelic messenger with a food fixation, then you can think again.” 

“You’re up, great.  I just popped out for some milk.  How do you feel today – just you seemed a touch testy when we spoke last.”

Steve smiled at him from the doorway.

The Insectosaurus looked smug.

“Stupid plastic git.” Said Thelopius, hurling it into the bin.

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Jared wrote 867 days ago

A very inventive title and strong pitches are great incentives to read this and the opening line is a cracker. I've read ten chapters without pause and would read on if I could. I'm loving this. I see you've included a Douglas Adams tag - inevitable I suppose, but this is the book the great man should have written. It really is that good.
From "utterly normal bloke" onwards, you had a fan here. Very funny, relentlessly manic, a tour de force.
Polish it and send it out to every publisher out there. If this doesn't get into print, there's no hope for anyone.
Backed with admiration.
Jared.

Katrina Twitchett wrote 1183 days ago

James,

If this book were a pudding it would be jam roly poly and custard. And I would cry as I've given pudding up for Lent.

When this is published, pleeeease would you sign a copy for me?

Shelved with a passion. And a dribbly bit of custard.

Kat

Michelle Gadsden wrote 572 days ago

love it!!! Very funny book. Hurry up and publish!

Joanna Carter wrote 624 days ago

Backed, when I can stop laughing long enough to hit the button.
Joanna
Fossil Farm

Glenn_Johnstone wrote 624 days ago

All I can say is - I laughed my ass off as soon as I started reading ... and I kept reading!

Love the story, the characters ... and yes - the humor!

Looking forward to buying this one in the local bookstore - backed with best wishes.

Glenn (Darkling Child)

Glenn_Johnstone wrote 624 days ago

All I can say is - I laughed my ass off as soon as I started reading ... and I kept reading!

Love the story, the characters ... and yes - the humor!

Looking forward to buying this one in the local bookstore - backed with best wishes.

Glenn (Darkling Child)

Eunice Attwood wrote 628 days ago

I may have backed this book before, but I love the way you write and your humour, so it's on my shelf for sure. Eunice - The Temple Dancer.

Owen Quinn wrote 710 days ago

Bizarre, funny, nonstop, wacky, strange, sideways thinking all make this a great read that absorbs easily. Backed with pleasure.

jfredlee wrote 718 days ago

James -

This is hysterical.

You had me at God saying "Bugger!"

Glad to see the supreme being is human like the rest of us.

Reading your prologue and first chapter, I couldn't help seeing Terry Gilliam, John Cleese and the rest of the cast of Monty Python acting it out.

Still laughing as I back The Bibble.

Best of luck with The Bibble, and I would love it if you could take a look at my book.

-Jeff Lee
THE LADIES TEMPERANCE CLUB'S FAREWELL TOUR

A Knight wrote 750 days ago

People have said it before, but this is Dogulas Adams-esque (dare I say better than his work) It's tongue-in-cheek intelligent wit at its best, and I was chirtling into my mug of tea. Fantastic from the first moment, and backed with pleasure.

Abi xxx

carlashmore wrote 764 days ago

I have written a book called 'Bernard and the Bibble'. This could not be more different. It's really quite hilarious. A true Douglas Adamsesque??? slice of surrealist profound fun, I mean it all starts with an absolute corker of an opening line and just carries on. It is clever, insightful and utterly bizarre and it's totally engaging and enjoyable.
BAcked with pleasure.
Carl
The Time hUnters

zan wrote 764 days ago

The Bibble
James Stanford

James,
This is a clever title you have for your book. When I first came across it, I simply saw "The Bible" because my eyes were trained to make a connection with my brain even though there were two "bbs" in there, which I simply did not notice. I thought it a curious title, after all, what would a "Bible" be doing as a title here? Anyway, I soon spotted the error of my way, and saw the two "bbs" and by this time, naturally I had to read your pitches. I think a good book starts with a good story, obviously, and this is a good one. Behind the questions you ask in your pitches, there's a lot of satire and food for thought. So, I naturally had to dip into the pages and I wasn't disappointed. This reads well and my only regret is that I didn't have the time to read more - but I will come back to it and I am glad you have uploaded the complete book here so I can see how it all ends, although I am not comfortable myself with uploading complete books (because of ideas beings easily transferred and transplanted - perhaps you might want to take down at least your last chapter? No advice here, but simply what I would do.)Anyway, I was happy to have given this a spin on my shelf and wish you success in finding a publisher. I enjoyed this very much.
Best,
Zan

Bamboo Promise wrote 784 days ago

It is funny! Strong pitch. I love to back your back.

Burgio wrote 793 days ago

I passed the story over the first time I saw it because I read the title as "The Bible" - and knew I'd already read that. On closer inspection, I realized there was an extra letter in there so opened it. And am glad I did. It's a funny, funny read. Dialogue is good. Descriptions are amusing. An overall good read. Burgio (Grain of Salt).

kenwyn wrote 798 days ago

I have come to this completely unfamilair with the genre, but kind of familiar with the baggage and expectations if that makes sense?
So what you have here is a book where the reader anticipates the style, the pace and the literary sight gags.

If you don't know the genre, you don't always see them coming, or don't enjoy them to their full if you do. With me so far?

So .. it took a few moments to realise God was less Charlton Heston, more Richard Briers (!?!). Then far too many ideas far too quickly. I know many people love this kind of stuff but for me personally I would have liked you to slow it down a bit. There are some gems in your descriptions, and I hope you keep it up for the entire book, but C1 reads like you had six coffees then sat at the computer. Jeez! I'm tired out and I've just been reading.
Then the conversations. too many, too confusing. Assumes we know the characters already. You might, but we the readers do not. Take a cue from Elvis; a little less converation a little more action please.

Despite how this might read( and I am writing at 11.25pm on Friday night and its been a long week), I can see this has an awful lot going for it. But I have freely admitted in other reviews to other writers here, I am an impatient reader and you have just too much going on, at least in C1 to keep my short attention span. but I wish you luck, and maybe if I read it again in the morning it'll make more sense. Best of luck with it. Cheers. Matt

lizjrnm wrote 807 days ago

This is very well written and so tongue in cheek _ nkept my interest in the first four chapters and i will come back for more - love it!

BACKED

Liz
The Cheech Room

bobstire wrote 815 days ago

This makes me seethe with envy. Astonishingly good.

Very best of luck (not that you'll need luck)

John.

inzie wrote 816 days ago

i'm with Jared here - your writing flows beautifully through your faultless dialogue. I'm a big fan of good dialogue - so much that is written lacks authenticity. Yours doesn't. Nice spiel at the start - and effortlessly imaginative - lovely stuff.

Baked (like I needed to tell you)

cheers and good luck with this

Chris

soutexmex wrote 817 days ago

BACKING you. I can use your comments on my book if you can spare the time. Cheers!

JC
The Obergemau Key

bonalibro wrote 818 days ago

I backed this, blindly, a while ago, along with dozens of other books, to get myself out of a sticky wicket, and I am sorry that I did - the blind part, not the backing or the extraction from said sticky wicket - because this is definitely my kind of humor. I love anything steeped in irony and irreverence, and God yelling FORE! and sending the earth off into the universe is my idea of a divine madness. Please try mine, you'll enjoy it, too.

Tim Chambers
Moonbeam Highway: With Apologies to Miguel de Cervantes

udasmaan wrote 819 days ago

There is another book the same as yours and it is doing very well, going up to the chart. i suppose you are doing other things quite often that takes your time from promoting this extraordinary work. i love the subject and it is so close to my heart. If i am not wrong your characters are God and Gabriel. that is facinating and in some parts it made me smile too. I dont have a great knowledge of English, but there are some books that just hook me, yours is the one for sure, backed with pleasure.

shah

MrsCogan wrote 822 days ago

wonderfully irreverent!

jtgradishar wrote 823 days ago

Your book has the perfect title: it conveys all the wonderfully irreverent humor to be found inside.

Take cover after you publish this one. For my part, I was laughing out loud at parts of it.

Well done and backed!

Famlavan wrote 825 days ago

With a tittle like that I couldn’t resist, and I was not disappointed very, very good, fantastic humour.

Bubbity wrote 826 days ago

James, the Bibble is a great satirical piece, from the title, to the pitch, to the first line - as soon as I read it I was gripped and it kept going at a good old pace. This is one of those exceptions to my usual genres, precisely because of your witty approach and dialogue eg "we need to have that talk about corsetry" (this and many other lines had me laughing out loud).
Happily backed
Kati Jane (Little Guide to Unhip)

George Chittenden wrote 827 days ago

Sorry to mimic Jared but your opening line is fantastic! When a book has you laughing at the very start it’s a good sign, reading on I wasn't disappointed. Your plot is ridiculous and I mean that as a huge, huge compliment. Backed

George (The Touch of God)

Janine Crowley Haynes wrote 829 days ago

Hi James,

The title alone, The Bibble, is alluring. What a refreshing, comedic approach to philosophical concepts of God, the universe and how things came to be. Your description of God, liking his balls (planets) and creating a golf club to whack the blue and green ball into space is amusing to say the least. I also love how you've made Gabriel such a likable, lazy glutton with chocolate on his face.

It may be a matter of taste, but I feel your first chapter might be a bit too long--you might want to break it into two parts. I've also noticed a few possessive apostrophes missing. For example, "mans presence" should be man's presence and "fat mans nose" should be fat man's nose.

This is one of the most original conceptual pieces I've read on this site. I'm glad to see you've uploaded the entire book. Wishing you all the best with the entertaining piece.

Backed,
Janine
MY KIND OF CRAZY

bonalibro wrote 833 days ago

Hi,

I have backed your book because I found it eminently readable
but have to cover 25 books a day just to keep my place on here.
If you would like a more specific comment please return the favor.
Good luck with it.

Tim Chambers
Moonbeam Highway: With Apologies to Miguel de Cervantes.
Moonbeam Highway: With Apologies to Miguel de Cervantes.

Helena wrote 836 days ago

Hi James, this is brilliant, really funny, I love your sharp sense of humor mixed with an ironic wit. It very english humor and I can never put my finger on what it is exactly but when it's done well its brilliant. I love the characters, the prologue is very funny, poor old god is having a hard time. Then the dialogue between thel and the little fat man is brilliant, I laughed out loud when Thel asked him who he was, you really are a master at dialogue, its really quick and sharp and as I said before extremely funny. On my shelf without a doubt, a mix of monty python and terry pratchett, not bad company! Helena (A Load of Rubbish)

lionel25 wrote 840 days ago

James, I've looked at your first chapter. I could follow it logically. Good writing. It needs another round of revision, though.

Chapter One, second paragraph, third sentence: "mans presence" should be "man's presence"

Backed for the potential.

Joffrey

writingwildly wrote 841 days ago

Love this!
The opening line is priceless. Then there were so many more ... "bob...bob...bob ... you look remarkably like a goldfish". This is so funny. And you write it smoothly with terrific descriptions.
definitely backed
Genevieve
Under the Same Sky

AlanMarling wrote 841 days ago

Dear James Stanford,

Thank you for sharing your story with us. Your opening paragraphs had me grinning immediately. I appreciate your whimsical and iconoclastic sense of humor. The dialog between God and that chocolate-grubbing Gabriel swept me into the narrative.

In my fallible opinion, you could make your long pitch even better by making it shorter. You demonstrate your funny in the first paragraph as well as giving us an idea of a plot, and battling a demon is a sufficient cliffhanger. I suggest cutting the second paragraph, as the series of questions don’t add significantly to the tension you’ve built. If you wished to add more to your long pitch, you could throw in a few sympathy factors for your protagonist.

This small matter aside, I enjoyed your story. Bravo! Backed.

Best wishes,
Alan Marling

S.D. Gillen wrote 842 days ago

Oh how this made me giggle! Funny! You have a great writing style. There's nothing I'd advise you to fix or change. Good stuff. My kind of story.
This is the kind of story you have to share with others. You know, the kind with quotes, like movies. People are always saying "Movie quote" and then they quote thier favorite line. I could do the same with your book. Over and over!
Book quote! "It's the feet thing, isn't it? It always seems to annoy people, that one." or "I like my balls, and I want to keep them. By which I mean spherical planets."
This is great!!!!

SD Gillen

Bradley Wind wrote 843 days ago

Jimmy, I bet you are damn funny at a pub.
I'm also betting tons have said K.Vonnegut and D.Adams to you already right? Chalk another check for me on those too. Very well done. You should contact a fellow named Dai Lowe on this site. He's often known to call the Bible the Bibble and your humor seems like he might enjoy...hard to say really (I barely know myself) but I bet if you made a movie of this book Dai would make an excellent Thelopius. Please excuse my ridiculousness.
This is incredibly clever.
This is mad.
Yes, I loved the prizes at the bottom of the box. Could hardly believe it when they started putting them outside of the cereal bag. No more waiting or digging? What fun is that? I'd love an Insectosaurus.
I want some Jumpy Mix.
As Jared says below...it really is that good. minus one O of course.
I hope your beard is bushy.
I want this to succeed.
Best to you.
-=Bradley

Francesco wrote 846 days ago

Oh so clever and very amusing.
Enjoyable.
Backed.

Rosali Webb wrote 846 days ago

james
Intriguing little number. Found the dialogue quite amusing as they bantered away. Reminded me of a Monty Python sketch in some parts - hope that's okay me saying that? Anyway, spotlessly written, and a breath of fresh air. Backed. Rosali Webb
Fieldtrip to Mars

CharlieChuck wrote 849 days ago

This is very, very funny. had me laughing at the start. It's the that makes this type of comedy, the little funny bits that add up to a whole - Elvis & George formby arguing over scrabble, holding on the telephone, too many to list. Had a feel of pratchett as well as the obvious Hitchhikers. You've got a knack of making the characters instantly likeable and funny.
I read chap 1 and bits of 13 & 27 to check it was still funny. And it is.
I've read nearly 400 books on this site and I would buy about 6 of them, this is one of them. Obviously backed. I really hope you get this published.
Charlie

Marvel Gumshoe wrote 849 days ago

This is very good. I read the first chapter and started the second but now I must work. I think the style is probably closer to DNA's that Eoin Colfer's attempt. The timing is great, the dialogue is spot on. I spotted what looked like one punctuation error and one clunky phrase ' Had he had' but otherwise I can see no reason why this wouldn't be snapped up - based on teh first chapter alone. Have you submitted it around the houses?

One thing though, your pitch seems too close to DNA, try to distinguish yourself as you, as a brilliant sci-fi humourist. Drop the mention of the cocktail - it says 'I've copied the Pangalactic Gargle Blaster.'


Well done.
M.

Jed Oliver wrote 850 days ago

Wonderfully hilarious! I think this should be required reading in some special school for some special kind of people.
The question about WHAT special kind of people is open for discussion. I suspect that anyone who reads it becomes, in a special way, special. I have specially shelved it, so it will be ready when needed. Especially yours, Jedward (Knut)

JupiterGirl wrote 850 days ago

Hi James, I didn't know quite what I was expecting when I read this. The word, Insectosaurus, makes me shiver. That aside, this irreverent romp of a read is highly amusing and I'm sure will do well! Shelved. JupiterGirl (Twins of the Astral Plane.)

William Holt wrote 854 days ago

As we say in Texas, this is a hoot! Snappy dialogue, wonderfully absurd descriptions, plenty of action. This has to be a winner.

Shelved--Bill

B. J. Winters wrote 854 days ago

I decided to start reading your ending - Chapter 35 was interesting - coming into this cold the names added an intriguing touch of humor and it seemed there were still in jokes to share with the reader (whatever floats your boat) as an example to keep this fresh. I did find though that the sentences were a bit wordy. My main recommendation would be to make sure that each and every word is necessary. For example: "Looking through the doorway Ted could see a number of the drones in a similar state; some were sitting...." Can be just as effective as "Ted could see a number of drones sitting...." We already know where he is in relation to the scene, and you tell me what 'similar state is' with the sitting -- so do I need those other words? Just a thought.

Chapter 36 tidies the story up nicely - I liked the return to the music channel scene. A reader should be able to visualize this easily. Best of luck to you.

JD Revene wrote 855 days ago

James,

The short pitch struck me as not quite working, but then the long version is a tour de force and shows what you were aiming for in the short. Reading on I'm expecting something in the vein of the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Universe.

Love the prologue--or bit at the start if you prefer.

Have you read the Carpe Trade here, By MrESheep? I think you'd like it. It's very funny--and so's this.

Funny names (Li Ping), ridiculous situations described in a dry down to earth manner, and swipes at things that frustrate us all (call waiting). This is wel put together and easy to read.

I've found little to comment on by way of constructive criticism. You seem to have the voice right for this, and that's the key to this sort of thing, I think. Your story meanders but it's well enough told that I don't mind. I keep finding new reasons to smile.

I'm giving this a spin on my shelf.

meemers wrote 855 days ago

This writing makes it easy to jump in with both feet and stay. It's got the sparkle and humor that we crave in our lives right now.

backed with pleasure
Sue Sohn

Jonathon_LaMella wrote 855 days ago

A very well written title and pitch. The first chapter introduces the story well and the dialogue flows nicely. Backed.
Jonathon

A.P. Constantin wrote 856 days ago

Amidst all this formula genre that takes itself so seriously, it is refreshing to see humour for its own sake. The greats of the field (e.g. Douglas Adams) use satire and sarcasm, you chose bafoonery.

Bafoonery can be effective but you have to watch it. Just go over your text and trim the "jollies" and the "bloodies."

Superlative choice of title!

A.P. Constantin

The Crystal Butterfly Club

Rheagan wrote 856 days ago

Hello James,
I was browsing the sites of some people I respect and having come across the Bibble, I couldn't resist having a look. I loved it! Suited my sense of humour perfectly. Not only is it hilarious, it's also very well written, smooth and quickly engaging. I would happily buy a copy. Good luck with it, I hope it's successful. Backed with enthusiasm.
Rheagan Greene Unwelcome Reflections.
PS If you’d lkie to read mine, great. If it’s not your thing, don’t worry. No problem.

klouholmes wrote 856 days ago

Hi James, I enjoyed this for the idea that everyday people might have a more important purpose than it seems - and the whimsical way that this is written. Loved Steve making his call to the beyond and being treated like a forgettable entity. And the bumbling in the shop. The dialogue is delectable, Angus' vernacular coming in with comedy. I can see it will take some fancy plotting to make Thelopius realize his important purpose. Well-written! Katherine (The Swan Bonnet)

nboving wrote 856 days ago

"The Bibble"
How can you possibly not read a bit of a novel that starts "Bugger," said God. I think what really got me though is the absolutely great dialogue: it's bloody funny, and I defy anyone not to want to keep reading once they start.
Which means me. "FORE," he bellowed. I guess he didn't make a hole in one, but I think you may have.

This is on my watch list until I can make room to back, and then I'm going to read a whole lot more.

Nicholas ("The Warlock") - Horro/Thriller

Sam Fallow wrote 857 days ago

Hi James, I backed this a few days ago and thought you might like my comments.

Love it! I notice Douglas Adams name in your bio and the influence is clear and the connection is worthy of him.
The only glitch I spotted is in Ch3, 'Thelopius looked supervisors back as it walked away. '
Good luck with this,

SF

p.s. I believe in Bob.

Kolro wrote 858 days ago

Can't believe I've taken so long to get round to reading this. This is tremendous fun that appeals to my love of all things absolutely barking mad. The dialogue here is great. You've mastered the fine art of snappy back-and-forth chatter (my favourite being the whole '...my left...' thing). This is a hilarious piece of work that deserves to do well. Good show old bean.

jamacleod wrote 858 days ago

I really enjoy this genre of books. Besides being a fan of Douglas Adams, I love Terry Prachett, and his Good Omens book reminds me of The Bibble. This is a great read. backed

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