The Essence of Power

I really really really like this! Why hasn't anyone else commented? This is fantastic. I love the imagery. The pace. The way it just flows. And where oh where is the rest!!!!


I hope more Authonomites read this as I feel like they too will just love this as much as I do!

All the best!
Rachel May
Going Twice.

The kind of glow only money could bring... I like that phrase!
As with the tradition of all your writing, I can here your voice! -- good thing I like your voice :)

>>Non-negotialble death... harsh :p ... and then to leave No survivors, no witnesses! Oh Jonathan! My heart was pounding.

Excellent writing.

This looks like a really good read. One small nit that I noticed:
"William Ramsden had less than ten minutes to live.
The middle-aged German knew that his days were likely numbered, but the swiftness that the grim reaper was coming for him..."

It should read "...but the swiftness WITH WHICH the grim reaper..."
I backed it anyway, because I think it deserves it.
Joe Perrone Jr.
As The Twig Is Bent
Opening Day

good! very good why isn't their more posted :( i enjoyed this despite a close use of "nice" some where in the 1st paragraph- impressed i think so

R

Good first paragraph to lead us into this story.

The paragraphs after ‘Wilhelm Ramsden had less than ten minutes to live.’ read rather clumsily; maybe you could rephrase them? Your female assassin didn't evoke any empathy in me; I would have liked to have known more and sooner WHY all these people were getting bumped off.

This is bleak and bloody, not the sort of thing I normally go for. I read one chapter but as I'm not really your target audience I'll just say for its genre it's good, but it's not my sort of thing.

Regards and good luck with it.

Assasins and gamblers and mysterious men with powers.
This is very action packed. Campy in places but thats a good thing. What doings at the college I wonder.

I am definitely on a role with books at the moment. This is brilliant - shelved

I love your action, this story works as a movie for me, it has the same pacing as a Bond movie, panoramic descriptions followed by tight action.

It should do really well on this site and deserves a top 5 space

Cheers

John Booth (Shaddowdon)

Oh, he's good. I think this must have been hidden as well as the assassin. Only two bookshelves. Well. I'll add fifty percent. I think you must be worse than me for advertising your book, Jonathan. This is terrific. Simply terrific.
Shelved,
Scott.

Jonathan,
Tense, intense and scary. Great characters, well described and full of surprises. I can tell you relish the talents and abilities you have them possess. Well done and on my shelf.
Jeff

wow,
What a fun book

Shelved,
Dazzy

Hi Jonathan. Good premise for a thriller and a strong idea. Backed it as I think it deserves to go up the charts.

My only comment would be on "showing" more than "telling": I thought that a lot of the information you have in here can be included into dialogue or your characters' voice. This is easily fixable and I wish you the best of luck!

Very good description. However, I can't help but feel you aren't into the book you're writing. Its only by the later chapters that you seem interested enough to make the reader interested. I do like the later chapters, but maybe you should go back and re-write the first couple? Its the first couple of chapters that you need to captivate people, so try to captivate then. Its good, just needs a little work. Im confident you'll be able to put it all at the level of standard chapters 3 and 4 are at. Keep writing!

This is really interesting. You really build up the dramatic tension well. The dialogue is appropriate surrounded by the scene in the MRI was palpable, I could feel myself in the MRI.

Shelved.

I really really really like this! Why hasn't anyone else commented? This is fantastic. I love the imagery. The pace. The way it just flows. And where oh where is the rest!!!!


I hope more Authonomites read this as I feel like they too will just love this as much as I do!

All the best!
Rachel May
Going Twice.

The kind of glow only money could bring... I like that phrase!
As with the tradition of all your writing, I can here your voice! -- good thing I like your voice :)

>>Non-negotialble death... harsh :p ... and then to leave No survivors, no witnesses! Oh Jonathan! My heart was pounding.

Wow!!
I mean wow, this is so cool, it is a mix of James Bond and a great SF book,
I loved it, your writing style is easy to follow and you discribe your sitting perfectly, I felt like I was there in the middle of the story,

On my shelf,
Kimmy
I'm your first comment,, I hope its good :D