Timecycle

An intriguing read. Very well done! I will be back to read more; I only had time for 3 chapters tonight. Backed.

Patricia West Hays
The Witness Tree

If you have any time at all, I would appreciate it if you could give my book a brief read. Thanks.

Couldn't stop reading this, I wanted to learn Joseph's secrets!!

TIMECYCLE
Few things are a better read for me than a time travel story. Time travel can be presented as a complex phenomenon so a story about it is hard to read; you’ve skillfully avoided the problem by using simple language. Made this a good read. I’m happy to add it to my shelf. If you have a moment, would you look at mine (Grain of Salt)? I’m in 4th place but only holding on by my teeth. Burgio

You have a talent for narrative and the skills to craft characters and paint descriptions excellently.

BACKED

Fascinating premise. You write very well and I quickly got involved with this.only coment would be that in your initial sentence instead of 'a man by the name of', a simple James Graham would have more direct impact. just IMO :)
backed for Jim Darcy. Please take a look at The Firelord's Crown. Thank you! :)

A good example of why you should never advertise the fact you can time travel. instead of a miracle, it becomes a weapon and the great twist here is all it is good for is for Joseph to have a good tim because he cannot change the future. his gift has now become a chain around his neck, can't wait to discover what is coming.

TIMECYCLE
Chris Hollis

Time travel is a fascination I cannot resist. I feel so teased by these five chapters. With barely a few hints in your pitch of what to expect in the future, this is so tantalizing to one like me.

I am not a physicist or a mathmetician who might understand the workings of the "Bubble" when Joseph told Nathan about how it becomes a time machine. Yet to a laymen such as I am, it seems a simplistic concept and totally believable by me.

You have handeled the issues that come naturally from the running back and forth into the future. Well . . . it was the past for Joseph but we already know what is in the "Now". We sometimes think we know what was in the past as well. I am not so sure we do. Standing in the present is a real conundrum to most people.

Timecycle leaves me bereft. I feel as if I had been standing there when both Joseph and Nathan would disappear into the future. Suddenly there is a vast empty feeling that makes me want to have traveled with them. I want more of this intriguing story. Please tell me when you add more here.

I am backing Timecycle. If you are interested in another story dealing with time travel, you can take a look at my book, A King in Time. I would love to hear what you think of it.

Sincerely,

Mary Enck

Hi Chris, goodness me it's been a while! I think this is a brilliant start to your tale, lots of very English eccentricity and a terrific time traveller. The litotes - lovely word, that! - in the historic meeting between time traveller and bobby was great, as was his first meal, "wafer products ill-befitting a criminal". Excellent stuff from the man behind Affinities!

P

Chris,
I'm always a little leery of time travel stories. By their natrue and often due to an author's slackness, they tend to be fraught with contradictions. "Timecycle" seems to be one of the exceptions. You have done a good job and deserve a place on my shelf. You are backed.
If you get a chance, would you mind taking a look at my novel, "The Wild, Wild Quest"? I always appreciate any and all comments/feedback I can get.

Best of luck,
J. A. Johnson
(The Wild, Wild Quest)
http://www.authonomy.com/ViewBook.aspx?bookid=13246

Oh, my! Wonderfully fascinating, beautifully written, imaginatively conceived! Even though I'm temporarily on holiday, I couldn't pass this up! Shelved. Best of Luck! Jedward (Brünnhilde)

Oh, my! Wonderfully fascinating, beautifully written, imaginatively conceived! Even though I'm temporarily on holiday, I couldn't pass this up! Shelved. Best of Luck! Jedward (Brünnhilde)

I couldn't not read this after seeing 'the thinking man's guide to time travel.' I love the genre but find it's often not as cleverly done as the writers think. Obviously yours is very different. You manage to effortlessly evoke the mind-bending circularity that time travel would necessitate, plus it's funny. Your writing is a breeze and I found myself smiling a lot. An excellent book that I will recommend and continue to read.

This concept might make a fun movie.

I really liked the first chapter. So far I would say this is the best thing I've seen on authonomy. Your writing flows very well.

Your ideas and writing have just gathered me up and taken me in. Very impressive thinking and originality. It's great to see something new, something to challenge a reader's mind. Best of luck with it.

Andrew

Joseph is intriguing and there is just enough of him up to the end of chapter five to make the reader want more. I would buy the finished book. RT

That wasn't a pun by the way.....

OK - Official feedback.

Great writing even though I felt Timecycle a bit narrated to begin with I guess that's inevitable when you're writing across temporality.

The concept of the 'don't worry it's always been here' approach to technology is genius. That's how ordinary bozos like us think and act.

The two characters Joe and Nathan are well developed and rounded. The near riot in Nathan's bar is class. Inevitably there's the mob of rubber-neckers. I guess time travel will always be done in secret.

The introduction of the 'others' at the end of chapter 5 opens the story's potential again. All in all I would enjoy reading this tale in full if you could deliver on the promise of its premise. I trust that you can.

My only advice is that the slow drip feed of future reality is good but can't support an entire book. Joe's pow-wow with the other time travelers and the low lying idea that, maybe that everything that happens in the present has to happen for the future to survive, is very good.

Joe's conversation with Nathan about intervention vs pacifism reminded me of an all night conversation I had with my godson Tom. The Hitler assassin question came up and we thrashed it out. Bad things have to happen for good things to result is the best description of this argument ever.

A grown up book that I hope you continue to take your time with. I would buy this. End of.

Hi Chris,

I just want to wrk with you on some TT data (ie creating a chronocube based on your theory)

If you're interested: the5thkingdom@gmail.com

Cool beginning! I love the idea of the Plinth. (Actually, somebody should build something like that and see what happens!) My only suggestion might be to show a little more of teh story through action rather than straight exposition. Other than that this is very interesting. I will definitely be back to read more.

From one Time Travelor to another, nice job!

As always, a wonderful breakthrough in imaginative writing brought back down to Earth by your wit and light touch.

Will read more soon

Hello Chris, Time Cycle

I’ve managed to acquire an enormous WL, so am trying to clear it before I go on holiday by reading the first two chapters of each and commenting. Some I will want to come back to, others not. As always, anything I say is preceded by ‘in my opinion’ and I am no expert. I comment as a reader and am prone to nit pick. OK?
I saw this promoted on the forums and liked the pitch, too.
Hmmm, interesting idea. Time travel isn’t a new concept, but your approach might well be.
Um, WHY was James Graham unavailable to speak to Joseph? I would have thought he’d want to be the first to speak to a time traveller and would have made sure he could do so.
Hmm, I’ve read the first two chapters and although the writing is fine and there are no glitches, this just doesn’t appeal to me. There is nothing wrong with it and I hope it does well for you but it hasn’t ‘grabbed’ me like I thought it might.
Regards and all the best

Chris,

Love the new chapter! This is getting really interesting. Make sure you let me know whenever you put up new chapters.

A few notes for Chapter 5:

Missing a paragraph break between "Do you know much about him?" and "He doesn't like to talk about himself". Looks like it's probably just the site though.

"...hypothecated one of the police as his idled in the corner."
Something missing between "his" and "idled".

"Time travel is never short of controversial, you see."
"Controversial" should be "controversy" or there's a word missing.

"He turned off the engine and sat back in his seat, take a long deep breath and gazing up through the sunroof." Parallel structure issues. "take" and "gazing" just don't work here. "He turned off the engine and sat back in his seat, took a long deep breath and gazed up through the sunroof." or "...sat back in his seat, taking a long deep breath and gazing up through the sunroof."

Chris,
I like the premise. I like the opening. I am of course, reading a book that is NOT on my WL and I have no where to slot it. I guess I need to make room! You are an excellent writer.

>>I like how everything was built EXACTLY so...

Chapter one leaves me wanting more.

Gina

Chris

This is a great idea and allows all sorts of possibilities. A grumpy old man from the future who is supposed to know everything, but acts like he doesn't or at least caring about it is not on his mind; he'd rather have a drink.

The idea of the plinth being there so that travellers know they can return in safety is a clever one. The lack of faith in the idea, probably explains why ther's no fuss, although I expected a bit more incredulity on the townfolk's part. Nathan is shaping up and Joespeh is the kind of character I like.

As I found this first, I'll now look at Affinities. Shelved.

Cheers

Rayo

Hi Chris,
Just one main comment here, couldn't resist a look after Affinities and I realise this is very early days for this. - QWuite a few times you write Joseph when I think? you mean Nathan.
Otherwise, first impressions are positive. I did supend disbelief and had a good chortle at the building of the plinth.
The Joseph in the town bit was effective - as soon as I came to it I thought - 'why didn't I anticipate this?' - and felt thoroughly foolish - so good work.
Interested to see where you go from here.
Not shelving at present as not enough for me to decide on, but good luck with it, staying on my WL for now,
Margaret (Munro's Choice)

Hi Chris. This is intriguing. I'm not sure what to make of the way you've written it - it seems a bit flat, no variation in pace/pitch/tension. Possibly this is to do with the almost complacent character of Joseph?

I hope you post more though - I'd love to see Nathan one hundred years from now.

On my shelf for a bit.

Chris-

You write something, I can't stop reading it...

I've been looking forward to reading this since I heard you had started on a new project. The concept is brilliant and I'm looking forward to reading more.

A few notes:
Chapter 1:

"It's just been always been the way it happens."
There's an extra "been" there.

"So who is it for them to do?"
For some reason this just doesn't make sense to me, but I can't quite put my finger on why...

"...while he opened to door..."
Should be "the" instead of "to".

Chapter 2:

In the first chapter it's night, but then when they go to the plinth there are blue skies, but then a few paragraphs later it's talking about doing something in the morning. Are they talking about the following morning?

"'Certainly,' said the Major..."
Is that supposed to be "Mayor"?

"...It could take - will scratch!"
It seems like there's a word or two missing in this somewhere, though I'm not sure what or where.

"...was increasing less to see."
"increasingly"?

"Nathan was a man of slight build, only slightly taller than Nathan but very thin."
I think one of those should be "Joseph" (the second one I think).
Also, "slight" and "slightly", being that close together sounds repetitive.

"...and I'm interesting in having a look around..."
Should be "interested".

Chapter 3:

"...every last one of them wanted - needed there."
Seems like there's a word missing between "needed" and "there".

"Now building this machine is a hard work and it'll take time..."
Extra "a" between "is" and "hard".

"...and rush the share the elevator."
Should it be "to" between "rush" and "share"?

Chapter 4:

"...earned me a fortune I'd had them patented."
Should there be an "if" between "fortune" and "I'd"?

"...each of a dozen units the looked like open suitcases..."
"the" should be "that".

"Other than being a two feet closer..."
Extra "a".


I'm putting this straight on my shelf! Go buy yourself a packet of Minstrels for a job well done!

Cameron

Well, Chris, this is fucking astounding. I just happened to see that you'd updated it, and, not knowing what it was about, came across. As a first draft it's pretty strong, and I like Joseph's nonchalant attitude and the relationship between him and Nathan. Like you say, there's some sand-papering to be done, but I'm putting this on my shelf now, because it deserves it. R