HANDLE TiME

Hi,
The greatest strength of your book is its refreshing originality. I agree with Pierre that I would be cock-a-hoop if an agent or publisher took your work, because it would mean that there are unfettered geniuses who can succeed. The dry lacklustre editors who only see dollar signs on the page should read your book because it might take them out of the slush-pile mire into which they have got themselves:
You mustn't use strange fonts.
it has to be in times New Roman
it must be double-spaced
chapters should be this length
show don't bloody tell
bloody show
your plot has to have this structure
take out all the adverbs
never speak directly to the reader!!!!!!!!!
I would shelve your book a hundred times if I could but I can't so I'll only do it once!
Best of luck and thanks for entertaining me on a sunny spring mornig, as refreshing as your writing!
Best Wishes,
Fred

Linkin, I'm at the end of chapter 10 and I have to stop now because I will die of hunger otherwise. But I'll be back for more. This is addictive. I love the way you write, and I adore the presentation of your work. It's stupid, and silly, but the font you use for 'India' makes sitars play in my head, the whole thing is as close as Authonomy can get to being a visual treat. I love it, I love it, I love it. Oh yeah, on my shelf.

I laughed my way through 40 chapters. Truly delightful and so unique that I have no choice but to back this book!!

Bravo:)

Ci

This is one of the most unique and captivating books I've read on this website - especially the HR chapter. Don't change a word!

You know what? I might take back my earlier comment about the fonts. Keep ''em in, what the hell. Maybe just a tiny bit smaller????

Hi Lincoln Park,

I am so glad you asked me to read this. It's absolutely original, clever and hilarious. Just some of your gems: "waltz of spasms," the cattle pen analogy, and many, many more. "I know why the caged bird drinks." I really and truly love this.

Now, you probably knew that you'd get mixed reviews on the font thing. I think you could use it in the prologue to send the message this is going to be a really fun read. And that's it. It almost feels to me like you don't trust the words to tell the story, to be funny enough, so you put them in funny fonts. But after a while - a very short while I might add - it gets tedious. It's hard to read. I think it might work fine in a magazine piece, but not a whole book.

By the way, I once turned down a job to manage a call center. What I like about your subject is that it's something that every single person is intimately familiar with,yet never, ever thinks about. And you make this aspect of life come alive in a really funny way, especially hard (or maybe not; I guess it's an easy target) since these places are probably pretty depressing.

I am smiling broadly as I write this. I am giving you a very rare six stars. Unfortunately (damn, I wish we had 10 spots) I have a long list of commitments for backings, but I will watch list for now and we'll see about later.

Best of luck with this. Oh, psst. a little secret. Unfortunately, not just the best books here make it to the top. You have to promote your work, distasteful though that may be. I've seen some really good stuff get buried here because no one knows about them. If you're nice about, and show grattiude when people compliment/back you, and even read a few things that strike your fancy with the hope of getting a return read, that will help.

All my best,
Andi Brown
Animal Cracker

Hi. boy are you cynical!! Don't you like call centres. They're a students last resort.
loved your decription of the vending machines products. definitely rings a bell but the co workers!! I've met them bu surely they're not ALL bad.
I don't like all the Capitals and Bolds. tough on me . Which category is that!
Good luck.
Micheal O'Durcain
Murder on the Menu.

Hi,
The greatest strength of your book is its refreshing originality. I agree with Pierre that I would be cock-a-hoop if an agent or publisher took your work, because it would mean that there are unfettered geniuses who can succeed. The dry lacklustre editors who only see dollar signs on the page should read your book because it might take them out of the slush-pile mire into which they have got themselves:
You mustn't use strange fonts.
it has to be in times New Roman
it must be double-spaced
chapters should be this length
show don't bloody tell
bloody show
your plot has to have this structure
take out all the adverbs
never speak directly to the reader!!!!!!!!!
I would shelve your book a hundred times if I could but I can't so I'll only do it once!
Best of luck and thanks for entertaining me on a sunny spring mornig, as refreshing as your writing!
Best Wishes,
Fred

Handle Time

Hi Lincoln, How original, great stuff, the differing fonts, the humour, the observational descriptions (obviously arrived at through bitter experience I would imagine) I particularly liked the archetypes chapter and felt I could relate to some of the individuals listed here in the sense that I am sure I have been handled by one or two of these when I've rung a call centre.

You have a wonderful comedic brain, gently funny narrative voice, this is blisteringly original and should go far, best of luck - Andrew W.

Hi LiNCOLN PARK.

You have a punchy voice which locks the reader into your world. Hilarious use of language in a saucy dialect for narrative. Great with introducing poor health of protagonist, making her identifiable and emphasizing the stress of her job. Cute to end first chapter with injured bird as a result of witnessing the stress of the job. Great set up of the humor and flavor reader can expect. Chapter 3 is poetic with the metaphoric descriptives and sarcastic tone. Hilarious descriptions of employees and yes, there is always a woman who dyes her hair red but really looks violet. Also, there is always someone who wants to argue a point no one disputes. And then the individuals who say "arbitrary" and as you said pretend if it comes from his mouth then the simplest of concepts is profound. You give excellent advice regarding office politics in addition to sheer entertainment. The world needs this kind of stuff.

On my shelf. Good luck.

Janet Marie - Spirit Prisoners.

Linkin, I'm at the end of chapter 10 and I have to stop now because I will die of hunger otherwise. But I'll be back for more. This is addictive. I love the way you write, and I adore the presentation of your work. It's stupid, and silly, but the font you use for 'India' makes sitars play in my head, the whole thing is as close as Authonomy can get to being a visual treat. I love it, I love it, I love it. Oh yeah, on my shelf.

Dear Lincoln,


Well, you certainly march to your own drum. I didn’t know how to take this at first. But the writing is very good and I kept on reading.

What the hell do the fuddy-duddy literary agents say? Probably too scared to take your work to a publisher. No one recognized the genius behind Jonathon Livingstone Seagull. Rejected a hundred times then became a best seller.

So you are going to have to work at it. Like all of us I suppose.

Handle Time is on my bookshelf.

Go well with your work.


Pierre Van Rooyen

The Little Girl in the Fig Tree

What a brilliant idea! This had me spluttering and snorting like a complete moron this morning over breakfast, when I'm usually pretty much dead to the world. Bloody great but I'm not lettin' the kids near it!

I laughed my way through 40 chapters. Truly delightful and so unique that I have no choice but to back this book!!

Bravo:)

Ci

Hi Lincoln, this is good stuff! Love the use of bigger fonts (which are a godsend for the poor-sighted like me!) and I think the short chapters help to keep the quick pace of the story going. Sometimes your choice of font /script size seems irrational: are you sure you want the script in Ch5 to look that way? Ch11 you have 'right now' in bold type but small font, unlike the other bold type in that chapter, Ch31, again, mixed scripts, Ch32, take a look, haven't you forgotten something?
Anyway, I love it, and it is one I am definitely going to come back to.

Best,

joan
maybe you would like to take a look at my opening chapters and let me know what you think.

Hi Lincoln,

I read your first six chapters. What a hilarious ride!

You've written an innovative, captivating insight into American call centers and the personnel within them.

You started out with a gripping opening scene.

Your descriptions are vivid. For example, 'The muscle under my left breast was swept up in a waltz of spasms' or 'performance incentive for clusters of cubicled captives.'

I laughed out loud at lines like 'There was no fresh beef to be had that afternoon; for I was wounded cattle' and 'So Peter Parker was poor; but even he had sense enough not to work in a call center!'

The font changes and other eccentricities are brilliant and add to the overall wackiness of your story.

Good luck with this book which I have shelved.

Al

PS: Might I ask you to read and review SAVANNAH PASSION?

This is one of the most unique and captivating books I've read on this website - especially the HR chapter. Don't change a word!

I was worried at first that this was going to be too sanitised for my liking - but that fear was quickly dispelled and I settled into it. A call centre employee who can actually think! And write fluently and with originality too. Presentation a bonus. I have not read it all yet and you may have already done this, but I was thinking that the occasional jump to 30,000 feet (why do we have these fucking call centers? what have they actually done for civilisation? why aren't laws being passed by the WTO etc to shut them all down?) might be fun. You get my drift. Cheers

I finally find a quirky and funny book with a style different than the mainstream on authonomy! I like it alot and will definitely read the rest! Congrats for daring to be different. Very cool persona...VERY original!