Awfully English

Dear Faith, I’m tempted to begin by saying that Hake on Spinach is quite delicious, an extremely tasty dish, but I’m afraid you’ve probably heard something similar already. I’ll take a different approach: I’ve always envied those living in English villages and stately homes, but, thanks to you, I’m now over that. Indeed, when I visit the UK this summer, I’ll stick to the cities. Your “inhabitants” are quite frightening, best observed at a distance, and I’m glad they’re safely confined in your “tales,” where since they can’t harm me, I can appreciate their foibles, eccentricities, and insouciance.

I’ve read three chapters, and I’m as hooked on this as Sonia is on pot . . . and gin, and wine. My favorite scene so far is she and poor Jupiter getting stoned together: you say she was “seized with paroxysms of hilarity,” and she wasn’t the only one. But then all your characters and the situations you’ve created for them are hilarious: there’s truly never a dull moment.

I admire your writing: the precision, the grace, the irony. You are very talented, and your book should be published, even in the US: there are Americans who can appreciate it—and desperately need it. On my shelf. Maria, The Pharaoh’s Cat

Hi, Faith,

I am really enjoying this. You have a great wit and a lovely sense of the ridiculous -- right down to the great names for the characters and all the settings. I was laughing out loud by the end of the first few paragraphs, and just kept laughing as I kept reading. Very nicely done. Very elegant, and very funny. Some of your phrasings are worth the price of admission in themselves, such as the description of the bushes quite close to the beginning, and Helena's husband's incapacity to keep them looking the way they should. I felt sorry for Helena (who would like to yell at everyone, even the dog, but can't) but it looks as though a bright spot is looming on the horizon.

Your ability to evoke detail is mindboggling -- I particularly enjoyed the precision with which you dealt with the interiors of the various homes. it's all starting to remind me a bit of Desperate Housewives, except that this is more situationally comic than that show (the stoned dog, e.g., was lovely).

My only suggestion is to make the ages of the characters in the first two chapters a bit clearer. Since they don't have children around, it's hard to know if they are in their 20s, 30s, 40s or 50s. I think I read closely, but maybe I just missed it. The next chapter is easier to figure out because of the babies that are impending or arrived.

Anyway, I am sure this is going to find a home and an appreciative audience. Congrats on a fine comedy with lots of plot threads we want to follow up. Shelving with pleasure.

Best,

Mary

Faith,

First, a big thank you to sestius for suggesting this. By far this is one of my favorite pieces of writing that I've found so far on authonomy. Your writing is clever, witty, wonderfully qurky, technically advanced, extremely polished. I love Helena Ruby (especially her name, and especially the very funny exchange she had with her husband), and Denholm the dog (poor Denholm!).

Living on Corfu, I've been to a number of large expat British parties. Let's just say that your wonderfully entertaining party scenes read, well, extremely accurate.

So many adjectives! (I mean in my review, not in your writing.) I guess that means I really like this.

Kelly

Hello, Faith - having been directed hither by PeteM, Authonomy's very own arbiter of elegance, in a post on my Comedy Push II Thread (go look for it), I must say 'Tales from Hake...' is really rather top notch. Big fan of the lovingly crafted, Wodehousian names (my faves: Mrs Tremble; the Raddled Beanpole; Anthony Furnival-Pirouette), not to mention the sexual tension brewing rather nicely towards the end of chpt 1. Chpt 1 ended very well, I thought, on a winsome and saddening note. A clever mix of the comic and the tragic. Then back to the jaunty business you do so well with chpt 2. I particularly like your use of delightfully irrelevant (at least, seemingly so) asides; my personal favourite was "whose husband died under suspect circumstances when on a business trip to Italy".

Some more focused comments (do forgive my pedantic nature - I only go to such towns when I really do like something I've read):

- "week-end": hyphenated. Really? I know it probably fits the period feel here, but I suspect most editors will flourish their red pens;
- "over-ambitious, or at least half hearted": loved this wording (but think you need the hyphen in "half-hearted");
- "fridge", with the apostrophe; "even 'though", with the apostrophe: really? See week-end, above. Feels a bit too dated in some otherwise very elegant prose;
- many other delicious phrases ("affable but anxious"; "murderous anger" &c. &c.)
- "Chris' sake": an intentional omission of the 't'? I couldn't quite fathom.

In short, Ms. Bretherick, I think you are a very clever observer of the absurb, and your writing style is clipped, polished and refined. I can see a great book here (and accompanying TV series) - and I shall give you a heave in that direction with a moment on my shelf. If you feel the urge (come, come, we all do), I would greatly welcome a visit from you to my own absurb revelry, 'Pistols for Two...' and perhaps even a short comment. Even with nothing more than that I shall die a happy man. Best of luck with 'Hake' - sestius

This has a fantastic dry wit, very entertaining.

I like a really light hearted read. I read your pitch and thought this is just the ticket but was aware that this is also the kind of comedy that can go very badly wrong. I was pleasantly surprised to find that it is well written with instantly identifiable characters and quick wit. I do feel, however, that the names of both people and places may be just a tad over done. 'Helena Ruby Tremble' as I read, I felt it cumbersome and interupted the flow and my engagement with the story. However, that's just my impression. Good luck.

Lorraine
Mannin Boy

Faith what a marvelous read. You are so expressive and create characters that are vivid in my head. Love the fun in this book and of course the romance.
BACKED for sure. and if you could read some and comment some on my book I would be so happy thanks and BEST of luck

Denise

I've returned to this and backed it. Never a dull moment is right. Hilarious.
Best wishes, Barry
Little Krisna and the Bihar Boys

OMG this book is absurdly funny. It reminded me of my dearly departed Grandmother who also had a penchant for a bit of whimsical, whoopie, spirits. The writing is really good, stylish, polished, educated and
wonderfully amusing.
Three thumbs up and a speedy wish for you to find publishing success!
Dawn De Remer (Golden Moon)

A touch of sarcasim, a touch of whitt, a touch of humour all coupled with great writing - thoroughly enjoyable. Backed with pleasure.

Andrew Burans
The Reluctant Warrior: The Beginning

Ha, I've just gone from Miss Read's Fairacre to this! Great giggle and just the job at coffee time. Jim Darcy The Firelord's Crown

realy enjoying this, you write well and it flows beautifully, love the characters, backed

alison

Hi Faith.
I love absurd. This is a very sharp piece of literature. Very nice blend of dialogue and character interaction. Time being what it is, I was only able to read the first two chapters, but found those two very well written. I think you've nailed this: from the names, to the title (I giggled again just now thinking about it), to the many humorous happenings. A pleasure to read and I wish I had time for more.
Gerry
Dropcloth Angels

Oh, what a delightful Sunday read this would be it's charming, funny and sweet. It would also make perfect Sunday night Television and I think with such comic and commercial potential HC should take it very seriously. Your prose was eminently accessible and your dialogue sharp and witty. I read four chapters and thoroughly enjoyed it.
Carl
The Time Hunters

This is a delightful book all the way from the name of the village to the unique people who live there. I love the dialogue; it's fresh and makes these people come alive. Your writing style is a real strength for this type of story; clear and always amusing. Not the fastest paced story in the world, so maybe not for everyone, but I enjoyed this a lot. I’m adding this to my shelf. Burgio (Grain of Salt).

Awfully English

Your title couldn’t be better. This is absolutely great reading!!!!!
Your narrative at the start picks up your character and instantly transports her in to the reader imagination, a very special skill. The situation humour is also very, very good and extremely well told. This has made my day. Great read, well written. – Good luck.

Subtly satirical with vividly described settings and wonderfully flawed characters.

The pace is rather slow, but it suits the English village theme, I expect.
It's certainly ...awfully English. I'd love to do some sightseeing in Hake on Spinach if I ever get overseas. Maybe even stay over a few days.

Wendy Bertsch
(One More...From The Beginning)

Thanks for your story, Faith. Hope you'll read mine, He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not & my unedited version, Tell Me True Love Stories of He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not.
Please back my TWO books.Thanks, Susie :)

Having spent most of the week digging in the garden your first paragraph rung true with me.

Very nicely written, yours characters jump off the page.

Great work.

Melxx

You've enlivened the whole evening for me. This is very witty and wickedly clever.
I've been reading bits out to my husband until he got difficult and threatened to confiscate the gin and the lap top.
Backed because you made me hoot with laughter.

"my Bavarian evening"
Hilarious.
Backed.
Marianne (Saint Paddy and the Sundial)

BACKED

I get very little from comments about my own book, nowadays. Some people like it, some don't. Some people are too frightened to leave genuine feedback, while others seek to enforce their own style upon me. I want to get to the Ed's Desk to get professional comment. I would rather spend 30 quid than do all this reading and backing. I have got everything I want out of Authonomy community already. So I am backing your book so that you can reach the Ed's desk and get professional feedback, instead of the platitudes and devious backings that account for 80% of backing you receive. Only 20% of comments are genuine, and will add value to your work.

Now, who am I not to back you? I am not godlike. Your work might be flatly written, unoriginal or even down right bad. It could be wonderful. But in my experience, only you can be honest with yourself about your writing... and that is what matters.

So, I am backing you so you can reach the Ed's desk.


There you are.

BACKED
Hope you reciprocate.

A really funny book, with the sort of setting that I, like a lot of people, find very enjoyable. English country village, the smart country elite, a mix of ordinary, real people, and lots of jokes. This would be hard to beat. The names, both of people and places, are inventively amusing. I particularly liked the 'Raddled Beanpole.' There are so many great lines, such as 'How can you get chewing gum out of mink?' The central characters, while sometimes more in the style of caricatures, are all the better, and more striking, for that, in this type of book. I love them all. You could almost do without a plot, but in fact you have a very good one, which moves quickly, with Helena's meeting with Jolyon and Trevor's news. Backed.
Gerry McCullough,
Belfast Girls.

A silky smooth, smiley satire.
Fab fun!
Backed.

A gentle satiric portrait of an English village and its batty inhabitants.... I can see this as a tv series (Last of the Summer Wine, Darling Buds of May)...Shelved.
Frank

PS. Why all the fishy names (Hake, Roach, Krill...)...? My cliché radar spotted "chickens coming home to roost" in your pitch.

You had me with the dog chewing tobacco (chapter 2). That made me smile. I also loved how this openned. You tell so much with the intial character introduction, I had a firm picture in my mind right fromt he start. Dialogue is good and through two chapters I was engaged. A couple other comments coming to you message box, but I did enjoy this. On my shelf for a bit.

Awfully English

Hi Faith,

Why have I not found this book before? Awfully English and it is, completely and totally. Mary Wesley for the 21st Century. A wonderful rendition of a English village, gorgeous characters and that unerring ability of us English to make a mountain out of a molehill. You write with a smile on your face, the antics you describe smoothly, warm words delivered with such affection. Absurd you say in your bio, you’re absolutely right and you catch that absurdity wonderfully in this story.

The pitch is beautifully concise, the title spot on, but the real treat is the writing, well done Faith, will do my best to turn that red arrow green.

Best wishes and good luck
Andrew W
(Sanctuary’s Loss)

Hi Faith
This is very amusing -shelved

I was very taken with Denholm, a much put upon dog :-)

I think using 'had had' is frowned upon by agents.

Good luck with this

John Booth (Shaddowdon)

Oh my!
I have no idea what Hake on Spinach is, I have a feeling it is because I am uncultured.
Regardless holy hell what an amazing set of characters you have here. Ones that actually frighten me a little and leave me hoping that they really do not exist in the world. Yet they are so vividly drawn that it seems as thought there could be a possibility that they are based off someone. If so...oh dear.
There is so much humor in this that I was laughing out loud. I think it started when Rupert tried to insert the vol au bent into her cleavage.
And really it has not stopped.
BAcked
T.L Tyson-Seeking Eleanor

Awfully English is a charming and easy to read tale of the goings-on in an English village, which gives you almost endless possibilities. Your writing flows well with a gentle sense of humour woven through it, and you bring you characters and their surroundings to life in the reader's mind. My only niggle is that I would like to see the narrative exposition spiced up with more dialogue, which would also lift the pace. Backed.

Wonderful writing with a whiff of subtle humour. No crits, but there are a few typos, and they should disappear with every edit and a bit of work with punctuation. Just a passing thought-sometimes the dialogues appear quite non-conversational- perhaps, it is deliberate?
Deserves to do well!
Best,
Nans

This is so well written! I love the underlying humour, it give it a real Jeeves and Wooster quality, a sector of society so different to what I am used to and so alien in their ways, but delightfully funny in doing it. The characters feel so well rounded and each one delivers a certain charm the makes this writing so enjoyable and delicious.

Andrew

Oh Faith this is absolutely brilliant! I have not stopped laughing since I started reading (took a pause to back it and give my stomach muscles a breather). The crazy thing is that I expected everyone to be this way when I moved to England. You will absolutely have an American audience. Only thing is, you need to put SATIRE boldly on the cover so they don't all think it is an autobiography!! I have to go. Still reading.

Faith
It was fun to read your opening pages, but I'm not sure this quite hits the spot with me. I can see you are a very stylish writer with great command of language, so possibly it's just my my grouchy nature (oh no, I didn't know I had one!)
Anyway, I thought I'd post the comments which I believe might help your cause, even if you choose to disregard.
I did like your bright tone and all the lovely details of rural life as you paint it for us, but if you are having a go at English country life, I think you need to have more variation in the class and attitudes of the characters, or maybe just differentiate the narration and dialogue a bit more.Everyone seems to talk in similar tones and registers, whereas i would have thought that Helena for instance might sound a bit more ordinary (unless ofcourse I just haven't learned about her origins!) I was also a bit bemused by the phraseology of 'that she might comfort Denholm.' and 'upon which he might lie' as if this was Helena's mode of speech. On the other hand, I did rather take to sonia whose annoyance really came across.
Thinking of something like Vicar of Dibley, I feel it benefits from a lighter touch with the humour and lots of light and shade - David Horton, for instance, being very different from Jim or Owen.
I shall now get out of your hair. A couple of writing details - on page one you follow 'Whilst recalling events', with 'reflecting upon the weekend’s events' and you do seem to like the word 'percolate.' - easily sorted.
Thanks again for your support .
Best of luck with this - will be happy to be proved wrong.
AliB

Funny, well observed, smooth and very well written. On my shelf.

As a certified card-carrying Anglophile, I thoroughly enjoyed this!

I'm having mental images of tossing large darts at these worthless examples of life in Hake on Spinach. Callous, indifferent, and self-centered -- yes, I'd say you've drawn them to a T.

I grew up loving Wodehouse, who sent up these classes with his absurdity. Your sendup is more subtle, and much less sympathetic. Very well written.

This epitomises English provincial domestic life, and anyone who has ever lived in a village will recognise themselves in your enchanting characters and wonderfully cosy scenes. It will also appeal to those who hanker after living in an English village because it is so warm, funny, and terribly true. Loved it, and it's on my shelf. Best wishes, Tony.

Hello, Faith. I immensely enjoyed your social satire with its elegant humour, inventive names (Mal de Mer restaurant – brilliant!) and well-rounded characters. I hope that Awfully English will get published.

The only suggestion I can offer, concerns Turtle. The character has not been properly introduced and it takes a while for the reader to realize who he is.

I’m backing AE with pleasure.

Iva P.
Fame and Infamy

Hi Faith!

Your colorful characters and descriptions, teamed with subtle humor, make this a very enjoyable read! Very girly, very flirty, delicious fun! Shelved with pleasure. Oh yeah - and I love the cover!

Kim
Invisible Justice

As one who suffered the upbringing of a stern Scot's Irish mick, who could not trace his ancestry back more than two generations, but spent more time and money tending to appearances than an independent businessman could afford recasting himself as a country squire, I find your portrayal of the leisure class and it's minions to be murderously amusing. Why would anyone aspire to that?

The jauntiness of your narration contains much typically British wit. But even it could do with a little more dialogue to give it a few more tones.

Hi Faith, You must have had such enormous fun creating this! The names alone - before you start on the misadventures. It reads well and, of course, entertainingly! Little things I spotted at the beginning - it's odd to introduce us to Isobel and hen have her surname discovered via mention of her husband later - you may as well give her full name upfront - as it is I was left wondering if she was divorced and not using the same name for a while. Then with 'Mrs Tremble' you vary how you refer to her, the characters might call her different htings but the narrator should be consistent and again, I think the full name to start. Later in that chapter there was a sudden flurry of describing people (and animals) using epithets, as in 'the hapless Denholm', 'the (whatever it was) landlord'. This quickly becomes wearing - but I don't think you did it too much elsewhere - one to look out for! But these are minor points - I liked it and am shelving. Good luck! AnneX

Love it Faith!! It's great.
Simon x

Hi Faith!

I'm here for my return read. I made a note or two as I read - I hope you find them helpful.

Pitch

~ Absolutely nothing to nitpick - great pitch!

Chapter One

~ "by the sound of hoofs scuffing... surrounded by hounds" - I thought the car was surround by horses or goats because of the "hoof" reference, not realizing at first that it was the hunt returning.

Chapter Two

~ I've got nuthin' other than, too funny!


Sorry that I'm rather sparse on the helpful comments. I was enjoying this too much to be picky (if there's even anything in here to be picky about). Heading for my shelf right now!

~ Traci

Faith,
You're right it's awfully English and awfully funny. This is hilarious! Just dont wake me up when you get home, is there any more cake? I love your introspective narrative style but probably would like to see more dialogue. This is a fun read. Good luck with your book.
Steve Ward
Test Pilot's Daughter: Revenge

Great fun! Echoes of Jam and Jerusalem and Vicar of Dibley, with something a little darker thrown in. The writing is spot on, too. Shelved.
JMD
The Alchemsit's Heir

Faith,
Even before I began reading I was giggling at the names of your characters. Unique and inventive and absolutely apt - each and every one. And then when I started reading I couldn't move the smile off my face. It is rare to find a writer who can write comedy with so much sophistication. This is romantic comedy at its very best, and I would advise some of the better known best sellers of R.F. like Katie Fford for instance - to watch out.
This is going on my shelf right now, and I wish it all the luck to the Editor's Desk.
Sheila (Pinpoint)

Wonderful. I loved the piscine place-names, the names of the people themselves ("Rupert" has such a ring to it), the febrile atmosphere of all-too-English repression being cast off, and cosy domesticity turning, always, to farce and chaos. Beautifully written, too, with a lovely eye for description, especially regarding the house. Delightful stuff, as English as tea and crumpet.

P

Faith,

It has been said that Americans can't understand British humour. If that's the case, why is there a big smile on my face? This is very witty, and at times, laugh-out loud funny. I love lines like this: "The hapless Denholm was by this time a quivering, scratching bundle of abject misery and the paintwork of Helena Ruby's car was rapid losing its lustre as the hounds reared up and pressed their noses against the windows to eye up their potential prey."

This is delightful. Your writing is splendid.
I'm backing.
Mark

When I wasn't smiling, I was grinning - and when I wasn't grinning, I was chortling. Now and then, a giggle or even a guffaw.

As a country dweller, much of this was instantly recognisable: a spot on satire on the new kind of English Country Life. Hilarious, too. I totally and utterly LOVE the names you come up with (Mal de Mer being one of my favourites) and the characters are both hysterically awful and distressingly believable. You must have spent hours, days or weeks traversing the Cotswolds or the like, spying on the denizens. I have come across variants of all these people (and their dogs) and I have to say that the humour - deliciously brilliant as it is - only gains from being laser-targeted. Some might read this and think it's just an amusing English comedy. To me, it read like social satire of the highest calibre. I take my game-beater's hat off to you!

Excellent. Thoroughly enjoyed this. Thanks.

Simon

Loved it! And the title is great

Dear Faith

What fun! Pacy, witty and unashamedly English. Congratulations. I really enjoyed this refreshing book and hope you receive the success you deserve.

I have no hesitation in whizzing this onto my shelf.

kind regards
David
(Just a One Night Stand)

Faith - certainly a fun ride. Well written in a style that drives the humor and action. Certainly on my shelf. CW