Catch the Cat

The beginning brought tears to my eyes good job.

You manage to take some serious issues and touch on them in a way that is easily accessible to a child. This is a fun story. You already received some great comments on how you could amp it up a bit, so I'll just say that at it's heart i think this story is a great idea and will do well once you finish editing :)

xBeccaX
The Forever Girl

Aaron,
Charming but a bit preachy in places. Your story is best when not beating the point home. Like Zink and his character alot. Justin and Nikki are also easily recognisable. I guess this would be enjoyable for your target audience but i would have thought more adventure is needed.

:)
Diane

Aaron: I read your intro chapter or this YA effort and I saw nothing that stood out that needed to be corrected. My one little niggle is watch the length of the paragraphs. In this genre, pacing is everything. Keep it moving fast. BACKED!

I can use your comments on my book when you get the chance. Cheers!

JC
The Obergemau Key

I do like what I have read. You have crafted a most interesting and compelling storyline and your character development of Zink is well done. Your imaginative writing is sure to appeal to the children's audience. Backed.

Andrew Burans
The Reluctant Warrior: The Beginning

I love this and so will children! Excellent job! backed with a smile!

Liz
The Cheech Room

Aaron,
Catch the Cat is a delightful book which is sure to have a positive influence on its young readers. Backed.

fantastic and a narrative that impresses well.

BACKED

CATCH THE CAT
This is a different than usual children’s story: it’s not only an engaging story it has the capacity to teach about a healthy living style. I like the idea of a purple cat imparting the healthy life style changes. I think you’ll find an audience for this as it deals with bullying, a schoolage “in” topic. It’s a book parents will buy as holiday or birthday presents. I’m adding it to my shelf. If you have a moment, would you look at mine (Grain of Salt)? I’m in 8th place but only holding on by my teeth. Burgio

I have been totally enchanted by the story, and the message that it carries. This is, by far, one of the best books in its genre on this site. I'd say - it is a must read - child or no child.

Your storytelling skills are superb. This conscious and powerful writing will soon find broad audience - I am sure of it.

I also visited your websites/blog -- and I am very impressed with how you live your life, and create opportunities for people to find the ways to improve the quality of their lives.

My highest complements!

Backed with the utmost pleasure.

Johanna Kern
Master and the Green-Eyed Hope

Ahhh...nevermind..I found it.

I think this is a very important book and as a fellow writer for children, I can see how skilled you are. I only have one minor quibble and that's in your pitch. I do believe it's spelt 'adolescent' and not 'adolecent' as you have spelt it. I know it's a small thing but may make a difference should a publisher/agent saw it.
Carl
The Time Hunters

Hi Carl, I can't actually see where I mispelled the word. There is only one instance in the pitch and it is spelled as you have noted.
thanks,
Aaron

I think this is a very important book and as a fellow writer for children, I can see how skilled you are. I only have one minor quibble and that's in your pitch. I do believe it's spelt 'adolescent' and not 'adolecent' as you have spelt it. I know it's a small thing but may make a difference should a publisher/agent saw it.
Carl
The Time Hunters

Lovely!


backed

Dear AAron
just wanted to touch base again and say
great book cover, i always love looking at it.
I guess it is because I dont have the
one I want yet. I have already commented and backed your book a while ago, but cannot see the backing anywhere. So i am taking the time to back it again because I believe your book is WORTH IT

BEST OF LUCK
Denise

Hi Aaron. The bullying was scripted well. Justin and Nikki being friends is really nice as they both have different issues to deal with. I love the fact that Zink is purple and his character is great. There is a nice touch of humor in your writing and I love the mind and physical challenges he sets them. I think what you are trying to achieve with this story is really good and wish you every success with it! Maria (Cosmic Linx)

Hi Aaron, Good introduction of these two characters. The pace in the schoolyard and the dialogue with Nikki are both brisk and humorous. Their commiserating before the cat shows up would appeal to young readers, I think. It’s a fun cat and clever. An entertaining example in achieving potential! Shelved – Katherine (The Swan Bonnet)

Aaron, Wow there are 2 of us on this site using cats to empower children though my book does it differently . The aims are the same to empower bullied children to improve their lives. Zink is great and Nikki and Justin are totally believable characters. Your writing flows and the short chaps give it a welcome pace through which the reader can easily make progress. Good Luck, backed, Anne

Hi Aaron,
There's a couple of points here.
Firstly, I 100% support your aims.
Secondly, the book is fantastic and very, very enjoyable (I'm 55!). The youngsters will love it.
You start by introducing Justin Lumkin (good name), his miserable state and the fact he's relieved it's the last day of school (says a lot). Then we meet his pal, Nikki Bean (another good name) and Mr. Wick and Mark Wallace, the bully boy. The girls are just as bad -- poor old Ikki Pee.
Zink, the purple, cheese-loving sarcastic cat is a fabulous creation and I love his opening philosophical gambit and his later postulation regarding thinking you CAN or you you CAN'T and that one must start from positive numbers.
Classy stuff, beautifully told and backed with real delight.
Best wishes,
Barry

Hello Aaron, firstly I just love the book cover and title they work so well together. Your short pitch took me well to your long pitch which you have crafted as well as your book. I just loved what I read and really love this genre, this is the time I get to read what usually I have to wait for my grand kids to read.. This is really a feel good book, your characters are so colorful and just play really well in my head. I dont want them to leave just yet so I will continue the read. CONGRATS and of course BACKED by me.....My book is of a different genre but that is the beauty of this site, and if you could 'review' and 'comment' and BACK it, I would be so happy. Again BEST OF LUCK with your book

Denise
The Letter

You are like totally fantastic, Aaron! :) How can I ever thank you enough for backing my 2 memoir books. :)
God bless you. :) Love, Susie :)

Dear Aaron, I love your delightful wise cat - teaching principals of life. :) Please write more books. :) Your pitch is excellent, so set the hook for me to read your book. :) When you use short paragraphs & lots of dialogue, it makes me want to keep reading to find out what's going to happen next. I'm backing your book. :)
Could you please take a moment to back my TWO memoir books? Thanks, Susie :)

This is information from authonomy (so beware of any other untrue information you may receive that is spam & not quotes of authonomy):
"When you back a book, it only improves the ranking of that book, not yours. However, the author whose book you are backing may decide to back your book also, in which case yes, your ranking would be improved"...authonomy quote.
"Every time you place a book on your bookshelf, your recommendation pushes the book up the rankings. And while that book sits on your bookshelf, your reputation as a talent spotter increases depending on how well that book performs.

This is a very unusual book. You have an excellent voice, straightforward and often amusing, which is very suitable for a children's book. You introduce your two main characters, Justin and Nikki, with ease. First you take us into Justin's head, and let us see his life from his point of view. When the unpleasant bullies attack him we feel angry and sympathise with Justin at once. Then Justin, in turn, sympathises with Nikki as the girls tease her and make her feel miserable. They have reached the stage of friendship with each other, which gives them a good start, the support of one other person, in their journey towards self esteem. Zink is a marvellous character, witty and sarcastic as well as wise. I loved his line, 'Come on, I'm a talking purple cat. I know everything.' There is so much wisdom in this book it is clearly one which will be very valuable to its young readers. At the same time, you draw them in with humour and adventure. Backed.
Gerry McCullough,
Belfast Girls.

Backed.

Jesse - Savant

Catch the Cat has a good pitch and I'm all for wrapping moral lessons up in a child-friendly way.. I'm absolutely certain my grandchildren would love a talking cheese-eating purple Zink, no questions asked. I particularly liked your fluent and natural dialogue in the right idiom for young people - this is great for easy reading, but also for narrating the book out loud; with appropriate accents and sound effects it would be magnificent. This is very well written for the target audience, and I'll be happy to back it.

Justin Lumkin and Nikki Bean. Two outsider kids if ever I met any.

And Ralph Corvin. We all knew a Ralph, didn't we? Or Ralphs. And the incident with the spilt water.

You've made it very easy to identify with these two underdogs. We are rooting for them.

If only there really WERE purple cats to help put things right. Acceptance is the first principle, before change.

Maybe there are purple cats.

So much fine work on this site! Keep writing.

Nick
"Mirror In The Sky"

Dear Aaron , Have just found your book and like what I see so far. We both have the same motive, to try and teach children through stories how to improve their situation. Also we do it through cats. Using some adult words is a good idea because it gives the reader the opportunity to extend their vocabulary. As long as they are used in context and not too often then even a lone reader may be able to guess their meaning. I will read more when I have time. Regards, Anne "Tyson's Tale"

Hi Aaron, I really like Zink and the humour in this. Justin and Nikki are also characters I think children could identify with. I would also cut back on the slang...not for any reason other than it can rapidly age a book as "in" slang changes so frequently. A great job at making health and other issues enjoyable to young readers...will it work? I really don't know. Put you on my WL for now as my shelf is full and I can't decide who to move off! Sarah

Hi Aaron,

I like the idea for this story and I think it will appeal to children. A lot of children like to learn and I think those who are not so keen wouldn't notice that by reading your book they are learning so much. The lessons are well wrapped within the story.
You portray the two main characters well - I really feel for them when they are being bullied, this is very well written and children will empathise with them.
Zinks the cat is marvellous, what an intriguing chap.
I agree with a past comment re the slang but then I have read published books with this in so maybe that's really just a matter of choice.
Good stuff, up on my shelf for a twirl!!
Best wishes,
Annabelle

Hey Aaron,

So i got roughly halfway through what you've posted and I really like what you're doing here, the lessons are valuable and I particularly like Zinks the cat.

I'm by no means an expert in childrens books (far far from it) but one thing that comes to mind when reading your book is some fairly adult words. I don't know if that is intentional, and I don't think you have to totally dumb it down, but perhaps you could simplify it just a touch. Words like analogy, for example, whilst fine for adults, might be tricky for young children to get their heads round. Like I said it may well be intentional, but if not I thought i'd better mention it.

One other thing is some of the language, I think you might want to be careful using words like, 'outta', 'jerk', 'fatboy', & 'gonna' in a book aimed at children. By all means keep the made up words (I particularly liked zinksercise and eatsmart!) but perhaps tone down the insults and the slang.

Both of those things are of course just my opinion, and I really liked everything else, the tone was perfect, not too preachy whilst being educational and the overall feeling was one of fun & adventure, which I think would go down great with children.

I hope that helps!

Cheers

Verbal

Verbal,
Thanks very much for the feedback. Actually there is a 15 page activity workbook that goes along with Catch the Cat. It goes over the vocabulary and reinforces the lessons learned. I didn't include it with the manuscript here....perhaps that might be a good idea...
thanks again,
Aaron

This is interesting and ambitious. I would like to see if it really is able to instill its lessons into the children who read it. I am sure a lot of children would enjoy reading it, because it is nicely written and touches on significant themes for young children such as weight problems, and bullying and ridicule. I would like to think it could work, but it has a lot of competition in today's world, lots of far more immediate and juicy alternatives. (There is another talking cat book on the site, as a matter of interest, but it is nothing like this one. Just for a laugh you might want to check it out: The Pharoahs Cat). I really do wish you the best of luck with this. I think you have made a daring attempt to do something which is potentially very difficult.

Paul House (Common Places)

Thanks Paul,
Yes, I know there are much more bright and shiny things in the world made to distract people from this important stuff. But someone has to put this stuff out there...and apparently I'm one of them. I do appreciate your feedback.
Looks like Common Places is doing great...best of luck with it!
Aaron

Hey Aaron,

So i got roughly halfway through what you've posted and I really like what you're doing here, the lessons are valuable and I particularly like Zinks the cat.

I'm by no means an expert in childrens books (far far from it) but one thing that comes to mind when reading your book is some fairly adult words. I don't know if that is intentional, and I don't think you have to totally dumb it down, but perhaps you could simplify it just a touch. Words like analogy, for example, whilst fine for adults, might be tricky for young children to get their heads round. Like I said it may well be intentional, but if not I thought i'd better mention it.

One other thing is some of the language, I think you might want to be careful using words like, 'outta', 'jerk', 'fatboy', & 'gonna' in a book aimed at children. By all means keep the made up words (I particularly liked zinksercise and eatsmart!) but perhaps tone down the insults and the slang.

Both of those things are of course just my opinion, and I really liked everything else, the tone was perfect, not too preachy whilst being educational and the overall feeling was one of fun & adventure, which I think would go down great with children.

I hope that helps!

Cheers

Verbal

This is interesting and ambitious. I would like to see if it really is able to instill its lessons into the children who read it. I am sure a lot of children would enjoy reading it, because it is nicely written and touches on significant themes for young children such as weight problems, and bullying and ridicule. I would like to think it could work, but it has a lot of competition in today's world, lots of far more immediate and juicy alternatives. (There is another talking cat book on the site, as a matter of interest, but it is nothing like this one. Just for a laugh you might want to check it out: The Pharoahs Cat). I really do wish you the best of luck with this. I think you have made a daring attempt to do something which is potentially very difficult.

Paul House (Common Places)