City of Masks

Mike---this is great stuff and a brilliant concept---really like the theme of the masks and the play with identity.

Your opening is very engaging and your style is excellent.

Just one thing---especially if you're planning to approach publishers/agents---I think perhaps you should change the title, great as it is-----there's been a very successful YA book published in the UK by Mary Hoffman with exactly this title 'City of Masks'-----it's part of her 'Stravaganza' series, set in a parallel world that is very like Venice.

Interesting concept, and I've never run across anything remotely similar (the masks, the offhand mention of Carvival, the wearer of a mask due all the respect and honor the original person, diety or royalty commanded).

Thought the descriptions of the houses were great, the opulently furnished rooms of the highly ranked masked ones, and the threadbare, nearly vacant qualities of the "servant's quarters." Loved the "Bridges and walkways strung from roof to roof," as well as the---upper stories=upper class---depiction. Very evocative

And FELKIOR = Lover/Philanderer/Successful/Unrepentant---hey, let me know if there's an opening in that department. WHOOPS---wait, wrong Felkior! Okay, maybe The Innocent Man---nope, that isn't me either..."offends no one..." (maybe I could play the part when I'm asleep)

Thought chapter four had an interesting, come hither ending, a hint of things to come after the Butcher mask is taken. Chapter five---Ahhhhh! Finally---the Countess...

You tell a wonderful story, my friend. Watchlisted, awaiting space on my shelf.

I found the book through iTunes and though they started me somewhere in the middle, I was hooked enough to hunt down the beginning chapters. I thought the premise of the masks fresh and well thought out. The social customs felt natural as I was reading/listening and it allowed the mystery to shine without being hampered--I thought it enhanced, in fact-- by the fantasy setting. The book left me satisfied with the conclusion and wanting to hear more about this strange city where everyone wears a mask and fills the roll it defines.

I read this book with my ears, thanks to the posting by the author on my favorite podcast website. So, I'm not sure if it has evolved since his initial recording, but I really liked the version I've read. I especially enjoyed the unique storyline, the characters and the setting. One thing Mike brought to this book is something so many authors have left by the wayside in the interest of simply enteraining readers and that's a social conscience. I think we can expect great things from this author. I for one can't wait to see what else he has in his bag of tricks.

Mike---this is great stuff and a brilliant concept---really like the theme of the masks and the play with identity.

Your opening is very engaging and your style is excellent.

Just one thing---especially if you're planning to approach publishers/agents---I think perhaps you should change the title, great as it is-----there's been a very successful YA book published in the UK by Mary Hoffman with exactly this title 'City of Masks'-----it's part of her 'Stravaganza' series, set in a parallel world that is very like Venice.

Thanks very much, Sue. Yes, I became aware of Mary Hoffman's book after I was well along in the process and in fact I've now read it. It has a few other coincidental similarities with my book too.

The title does make for Google confusion. There's at least one other novel called City of Masks as well, and there's a movie. Perhaps I'll Google "The Innocent Man" and see what comes up.

[Edit] Nope, The Innocent Man is a book by John Grisham. More thought needed.

Mike---this is great stuff and a brilliant concept---really like the theme of the masks and the play with identity.

Your opening is very engaging and your style is excellent.

Just one thing---especially if you're planning to approach publishers/agents---I think perhaps you should change the title, great as it is-----there's been a very successful YA book published in the UK by Mary Hoffman with exactly this title 'City of Masks'-----it's part of her 'Stravaganza' series, set in a parallel world that is very like Venice.

Thanks for the comments, Edd. In brief: There is a standard mask for _a_ butcher (the trade) but not for _the_ Butcher (the serial killer).

I'm fascinated, and would read more.

The language and style of storytelling is consistent and archaic-feeling without descending to caricature. A minor point - to be in keeping, should the dates be "The seventh day of the first month"?
Ch3 "bourne" should be "borne".
It's hard to believe that there would be no standard mask for Butcher - what do they wear if this character is unavailable?
Ch8 - Corius goes for the second time to talk to his "associates". Have we heard any results yet from the first such consultation?
Is Bass's voice sufficiently different from that of his master? Sallia's certainly is different.

It appears at first that little is happening, though we learn much about and with Bass, which keeps the interest up. The murder hits very hard as a result. The use of guts as a mask maintains the consistency, turning "any old slasher slaughter" into a feature of the society we do not yet understand.

Interesting concept, and I've never run across anything remotely similar (the masks, the offhand mention of Carvival, the wearer of a mask due all the respect and honor the original person, diety or royalty commanded).

Thought the descriptions of the houses were great, the opulently furnished rooms of the highly ranked masked ones, and the threadbare, nearly vacant qualities of the "servant's quarters." Loved the "Bridges and walkways strung from roof to roof," as well as the---upper stories=upper class---depiction. Very evocative

And FELKIOR = Lover/Philanderer/Successful/Unrepentant---hey, let me know if there's an opening in that department. WHOOPS---wait, wrong Felkior! Okay, maybe The Innocent Man---nope, that isn't me either..."offends no one..." (maybe I could play the part when I'm asleep)

Thought chapter four had an interesting, come hither ending, a hint of things to come after the Butcher mask is taken. Chapter five---Ahhhhh! Finally---the Countess...

You tell a wonderful story, my friend. Watchlisted, awaiting space on my shelf.

I found the book through iTunes and though they started me somewhere in the middle, I was hooked enough to hunt down the beginning chapters. I thought the premise of the masks fresh and well thought out. The social customs felt natural as I was reading/listening and it allowed the mystery to shine without being hampered--I thought it enhanced, in fact-- by the fantasy setting. The book left me satisfied with the conclusion and wanting to hear more about this strange city where everyone wears a mask and fills the roll it defines.

Thanks, Onongirl9999 and Bob for the good comments. The Podiobooks audio version was read straight from the printed (self-published) book, so barring slipups they are identical.

You can find out more about the book at: http://city-of-masks.blogspot.com.

I ended up self-publishing because I couldn't hook a publisher based on a description of the book. Because it is a bit unusual it doesn't fit neatly into a genre category. It's not really fantasy or science fiction by any strict definition, even though I've called it that here. But the feedback you're giving me is typical of what I've received, so I'm hopeful that it will rise to the surface here at authonomy and get noticed. Tell your friends!

My only complaint about this interesting set up is the time it takes to get to the first murder plus the distance all the masking-manoeuvres put between me, as reader, and the action - but it's certainly well written.

I read this book with my ears, thanks to the posting by the author on my favorite podcast website. So, I'm not sure if it has evolved since his initial recording, but I really liked the version I've read. I especially enjoyed the unique storyline, the characters and the setting. One thing Mike brought to this book is something so many authors have left by the wayside in the interest of simply enteraining readers and that's a social conscience. I think we can expect great things from this author. I for one can't wait to see what else he has in his bag of tricks.

Thanks, artful and Bob/Akisdad.

Gregorius is certainly not the fool Darion takes him for. He's an entirely different fool altogether, one of the holy sort.

I actually wrote it without "chapters" per se, just as a series of journal entries and the odd letter. Authonomy requires chapters, though, so I have just broken it into digestible chunks.

This is a great book! i read an early draft (which was very good) but this version is much improved, and i would heartily recommend it to any fan of fantasy novels, especially if the quality of the writing is important to you (it also has a great story in case you were worried!). a twisty turny thing, and it is also quite short for a novel, which is nice in this genre. there is also plenty of room for more stories in the same world.