Book Jacket

 

rank 5457
word count 32549
date submitted 22.02.2009
date updated 18.06.2009
genres: Fiction, Science Fiction, Other
classification: moderate
complete

Unknown

Adam Jenkins

Unknown is a science fiction story of a scientist who creates flying horses and shape-shifting children is forced to fight a criminal organization called Tismarila.

 

Papplewick is thought of as a really boring place with absolutely nothing of interest. Well that's what all the lucky people get to think. Papplewick is really a power base for a criminal organization called Tismarila. They have their hands in every illegal activity that happens in the country. All but untouchable, they bribe the police to push everything that they do under the carpet, and run everything that happens in Papplewick. Or so they thought. Meet Carl, a rich man who owns a mansion just outside Papplewick. He made his fortune inventing and creating new things, and one of his creations has come to town. Draco, an ordinary looking boy with some not so ordinary ability's. Together they are going to stir up a fuss that will shake Papplewick to it's very foundations. Literally. So shut all your windows and doors and prepare for the story of a lifetime.

 
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tags

fast paced, fiction, unknown

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1 comments

 

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bc1yax wrote 1072 days ago

this was a very interesting story - nice hook at the end - for the most part the storyline was smooth, but on a few paragraphs you run your sentences together: - and hurried as quietly as he could into the stables. (and) In a moment [he] dragged a horse [out], which had been gagged and blind folded. (and) They both struggled to get the horse into the trailer. This makes the sentences short and sweet and keeps your storyline smooth. A coup[le of Nits:

As they hurry (of) [off] towards
the dam buggers(.)[,] taunted the other
the taller man threatened [,] "but first

there are more - bc1yax - I will read more


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