Twisted Perception

Hi Bob,

This is a very authentic Murder/Mystery - Thrilleresque novel. As it is told in the first person killer's point of view, you catch glimpses of doubt in his mind during that first chapter - of whether he should go through with Michelle Baker's murder (like he might abandon his plans), however his resolve is great and he slits her throat (I would say that that was a line crossed in his life).

Very authentic and suspenseful. Backed and shelved.

Cynthia
Sharing Short Stories/Alecner

Hi Bob!

Since you haven’t been to Authonomy for a while, I hope it’s okay that I’m sending this through your book comment:

I’d like to thank you for backing BRAINRUSH (a Thriller) last year. Because of you it hit the Authonomy Number-1 slot, attracted an agent, and landed a film option. Now that’s a brain-rush! The formal book launch is September 1st and the sequel will be released in December. None of this would have been possible without your help. So, thank you, thank you, THANK YOU!

Sincerely,
Richard Bard, BRAINRUSH

PS. If you want a good laugh, check out the temporary book-trailer video on the BRAINRUSH website. It’s there as a placeholder for the upcoming professional video. The current one features children and it’s guaranteed to make you smile! And yes, the younger kid on the screen is really me. You can see the video at www.RichardBard.com. The link is also on my Authonomy profile page. While you’re there, check out the “Feel the Rush” promotion that will get you BRAINRUSH plus 2 FREE thrillers from the Kindle Top-20 PAID Bestseller list – yes, really!

I know you haven't posted "Beneath a Buried House" on the website, but I enjoyed it on Kindle. If I had to rate it I would give it a six. I'm looking forward to reading Footprints of a Dancer" when you've finished it. Jesselowe

Very evocative and chilling first chapter, Bob. You reallly know how to hook an audience. I enjoyed the POV of your unusual antagonist, and the pending sense of doom I felt as Michelle fell prey to him. Your narrative style is ideal for a crime thriller - crisp prose, timed pacing, and what I consider quick visual snapshots that are very effective in setting the stage. I'm pleased this is on my shelf.
Lizzi
(Out of Sync)

I haven't been on the site for awhile, and I might have already replied to this, but Thank You for the kind comments and for backing Twisted Perception.

This is one of those gems that I constantly search for and seldom find. I would be very interested to read the other books in this series as you post them. Jesselowe

I like the works of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle and Agatha Christie very much. Your story and its telling sytle is a fantasic one,.

Best wishes,

Joy J. Kaimaparamban
The Wildfire

Very evocative and chilling first chapter, Bob. You reallly know how to hook an audience. I enjoyed the POV of your unusual antagonist, and the pending sense of doom I felt as Michelle fell prey to him. Your narrative style is ideal for a crime thriller - crisp prose, timed pacing, and what I consider quick visual snapshots that are very effective in setting the stage. I'm pleased this is on my shelf.
Lizzi
(Out of Sync)

I like this very much. You can't tell where it's going. The dialogue is good. I thought the opening was brilliant. I shall back it as soon as various 24 hour backings expire. Something special here.

Backed with pleasure, this is a great story so far! I think this is definitely something that could be published, and everything seems completely developed and well-written as it is. I haven't read all of it yet, but this is definitely something I would come back to in order to finish. I'm sorry I can't think of anything to change, but I really do think this is already a great piece as is. Best of luck!

All the Best,

Morgan Scott
"To Touch the Sun"

Terse sophisticated writing. The first paragraph grips the reader with the character's remorse and regret. Then there's mystery of Papa.

Loved the phrases '...life dependent on death.'
'...ending with nothing but an idea.'
'...an old house that had lost the fight for survival.'
Terrific narrative voice here.

Michelle's apprehension, the duct tape, the killing. This is so chilling leaving the reader to leap to to the next chapter.

Eliott is a well-rounded character but mystery surrounds him with his thoughts on Carmen Garcia, his reactions to the murder of Lagayle. All the while, the reader is left wondering what happened to Michelle, has the body been found. Great, the different threads create depth and texture.

The dialogue drives the plot forward without recourse to exposition to mar the fast pace. This is evident in the questioning of Zimmerman.

This is the sort of book I would be buy and on reading the first three chapters, I wuold be reading through the night.

This should be published. . Backed with pleasure.

Best wishes,
Katy. xx
Phobic Dawn.

Backed. Good luck.
P
The Healer's Stone

Hello Bob. From what I have read so far, this is an effective very competantly written crime thriller. The writing is taut and efficient, making good use of character and setting to help build the atmosphere and establish tension. I think I've backed it before but will gladly do so again to be certain.

Backed with pleasure, best of luck.

Jack Hughes
Dawn of Shadows

A tense and exciting story, realistic characters and absolutely beautiful prose! Very well done.
Eric Wilder - Prairie Sunset

Okay, I'm going to read more of this but I wanted to pause and tell you my first impression. First of all, your pitch is possibly the finest one I've seen so far. It drew me in, telling me exactly what the story is about, without giving away too many secrets. The story itself is polished and professional, extremely well written. The characterization and plotting are superb. I'm not just saying this, I mean it. Perhaps the most publishable unpublished book I've found. I'll let you know more as I read more.

Laura Freeman
Writers on the Storm

Bob,
I loved the smooth fluidity of your writing, the engaging characters and plot. I think it's a brilliant work, the kind of book you just want to curle with under a blanket and read to the last page.

Wish you the best with it. Certainly backed with pleasure.
Getty
DESTA AND KING SOLOMON'S COIN OF MAGIC AND FORTUNE

Having read what you've posted so far, I had to go back & re-read the first chapter, firstly because it's such a compelling & brilliantly written opening, secondly, just to reaffirm my suspicions & theories as to where this is going - say no more, - I'll just have to wait for the rest of it, suffice to say you've got me hooked.

The dialogue is sharp & concise, no wasted superlatives here. And Elliot's occassional painful flashbacks are just enough to remind the reader that there is more to this troubled detective than meets the eye.

The storyline is full of Intrigue, twists, & potential blind alleys in the best Raymond Chandler tradition.
Twisted Perception is my kind of read.

Derryl Flynn (Scrapyard Blues)

The serial killer is always fertile ground and you have supplied just the right amount of intrigue to entice the reader in and keep them reading, I thought that the start was just a bit wordy but by the end of the first chapter I realised that this had relevance to the mind of the killer, well done. Paula Barrett (Cuthbert-how mean is my valley)

wow! the pitch drew me in and the first chapter is very chilling - very good for a book in this genre. i shall read more asap.
backed
abi

Hi Bob

The first para seems a bit too much of telling, not showing. Might it be more effective if you just have him thinking of his friend and have the tear roll down his cheek, without actually explaining what has happened to the friend (then you can reveal it later on for more impact)?
The rhythm of the para would work better if you put a full-stop after "midway" and then continued "He fancied" etc.
Omit the sentence beginning "his lack of concentration" etc. You could also leave out the last 3 sentences of para 3.
Para beginning "he thought of Papa" - v good. Actually the whole of the rest of chapter 1 from that point on is excellent. It comes alive when the narrative revs up and keeps the reader gripped. Backed

Nicole
Chosen

I dipped into a couple of chapters. I really wish I had time to read more. This is very superior writing. Probably about the best I have read on this site so far. If you are not yet published, you ought to be.

An exciting read for those who love a good crime thriller to sink their teeth into. Backed. Eunice - The Temple Dancer.

Twisted perception
Backed with pleasure
Eveleen
(Turning a new leaf)

A compelling and chilling start with all the right ingredients for this type of book. If you wanted, a further edit to the opening could make the prose a fair bit leaner and meaner, but it depends what sort of style you are after.Currently, some of the descriptions are more embroidered than you usually get with this type of genre, but that's not necssarilly wrong.

J.S.Watts
A DARKER MOON

I'm intrigued by this one. I thought the lesbian reference in the first chapter was just a reference, but it appears to more a part of the story as I read on. Enjoyed what I read and have backed it.

Perhaps a spelling mistake in the first chapter? The bit about people hating everyone and going to hell should perhaps be Hell; being a place, real or imagined.

Good Luck!

THE ISLAND EXPERIMENT

Hello Bob!

I can't say this is my genre without my nose growing long. So instead, I will say that your book could make me enjoy crime thrillers. It's great and hits all the right nerves. Creepy and clever, I wish you the best with this.

Kind regards,

Jodi
x-Evalesco-x

This is a good, solid crime thriller with a strong MC and a very creepy baddie with his daddie fixation. Technical aspects seem authentic and dialogue is definitely a strong point. Builds yp well from the off and keeps the reader hooked.
Jim Darcy
The Firelord's crown

Dear Bob

Clean, direct narrative. I found the sudden shift of viewpoint from murderer to victim a little confusing - bigger spaces or asterisks to mark the change perhaps? This first chapter builds interest in the killer's psyche and conjures some sympathy for the victim rather than leaving her an anonymous plot device. The killing is suitably chilling and there's enough 'tease' here to encourage the reader to read on.

Happy to back you and help get you back up the rankings. Care to do the same for me??

Colin Eston
Dying for Love

The pitch promises a good read but whew, too flowery for my taste. The writing is good, but advice given to me which I followed (I am also a 'flowery' write, or I was, hopefully) if it doesnt move the story along, can it. Good luck with this, it's a good plot, good pitch - the repeat of the first sentence is irritating.

A good story. Clear, clean writing.

Backed.

Pete

Bob , I like the way you have captured a feeling of time and place using believable characters and authentic dialogue. A compelling read.
Jane

Very compelling start leads into some dark scenes. It's good. Backed

This is a well written thriller. Complex plot. Very believable characters and vivid scenes. Convincing dialogue. Backed.

Great tension throughout the first chapter, and a terrifying look into the heart of a murderer. You have a smooth narrative style that makes your book a joy to read.

I would have put a bit more space in when you switch to Michelle and another location.

Backed with pleasure.

Craig Ellis
The Sun and the Saber

Great flow, keeps their readers on their toes, thrilling and very well crafted!

Backed with true pleasure.

Johanna Kern
Master and the Green-Eyed Hope

I read all of the chapters you've put up so far and am very impressed with the confidence of your writing. This is a taut thriller the way thrillers should be. I've only got one small criticism and that's right back at the start. You've got two paras. about her crossing the car park as he watches her, "He sat forward & Opening the car door" I had a bit of confusion as to whether or not she already knew him or he was a stalker imagining previous interaction . I needed to read them through twice which broke the flow but once I'd sorted it the rest of the story rolled on fine.
Ithink this will do really well.
Backed
Robert Davidson
THE TUZLA RUN

Hi Bob, an excellent thriller, well written with some very good character's.
Hope you do well with this, enjoyed the read.BACKED.

Neville (The Secrets Of The Forest) Thank's for backing my book.

This is a stunning opening, it has definitely got a creepy atmosphere, with the coldness of the serial killer's actions and clinical precision very starkly effective. Michelle's last thought of her son tugged the heartstrings as you desperately wished for a last minute saviour but what makes this killer so sick was, not the fact he killed her, but the carving of the T. Horrible, Your writing is sharp, precise but evocative like a black cloud on the horizon and knowing a storm is coming. Very impressive indeed.

remarkable thriller

Hi Bob
I've got to get back to work now but read a bit of this. It starts really powerfully keeping the reader hooked every step of the way. A really smooth read - I felt my heart racing as I read through. Up there with the classic US detective stories. I hope you do well with this.
DP Walker
Five Dares

Extremely well writtten; brutal; gritty; realistic. On my shelf.
Jan, Fringe of Darkness

Good start, promise of some depth as well as action. Into 2, plenty of tension, well written. Promises well
Backed
Lara
Good for Him

This is a well written thriller with a powerful opening. Shelved, with pleasure.

Carol

Bob,
I liked the writing here. It was easy to follow and very engaging. I didn’t see any nits that caught my eye so good on you there for a fine job of editing.
My only suggestion would be to use the paragraph beginning ‘Opening the car door he stepped quietly into the asphalt, sliding the black-handled knife into his back pocket.’
Then backtrack to the current beginning.
I think this sentence would grab a bookstore browser and the rest of the prose definitely has the strength to hold them.
Just a thought.
MickR – The Nightcrawler.

A marvellous thriller that is actually thrilling...and there are quite a few on this site that are not. Super!!
Backed with pleasure. Good Luck!!
A look at Sicilian Shadows would be greatly appreciated.
Frank.
You may also want to approach BJD (a big supporter of Sicilian Shadows) for a further possible backing of your book.

Dear Bob,
I have backed your book because it is so deserving. All the very best of luck with Twisted Perception.
Helen

No comment.
BK

As mentioned below, re Chapter 2 - you have a 'wino' finding the body - yet he's giving important time evidence "five thirty I guess" - it's just something which dropped me out of the story for a moment. This sort of thing will be sorted out once you do a complete first review of the MS, but at the moment it's something which catches me a little.

Apart from that, it's good writing, and a nicely put together idea and pitch. Backed with pleasure.

Great story but I'm a bit confused with regard ' who found the body' In chapter two the question is asked
' Who found The body'
'Some wino' Conley said ' Hang on i'll get him for you' he signaled for the officer to bring the witnesses over. The nervous man looked about forty, had long graying hair pulled back in a pony tail. a tatoo of a snake run up his left arm. The lady reminded Elliot of of his second grade school teacher.....

The body was found by some wino but no mention was made of the lady. Witnesses was used but it was only the wino who found the body, then suddenly a lady appears, and also found the body.
Perhaps when the question is asked the answer should be ' Some Wino and a women.'

Great story, with a very strong investigation begining to develope, in the traditions of great American detective stories, catching the killer will not be easy so for that reason Twisted Perception has my backing.
Daniel Manning
No compatibility.

Hi Bob
Beautifully written, your style puts the reader on every page. Very Professional, and I have only completed two chapters! Midnight oil tonight.

Backed

Phil
Danny Murphy

Hi Bob, I've backed this for it's high quality writing and excellent style (Chapters one and two). A darned good thriller so far.
Backed with pleasure,
Barry
LITTLE KRISNA AND THE BIHAR BOYS